The Competition (2018)

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["So Alive" by Tiffany Alvord]

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♪ I'm feeling alive ♪

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♪ I'm feeling a rush ♪

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♪ So energized ♪

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♪ Nothing is standing
in my way ♪

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♪ I'm feeling the beat ♪

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♪ The beat of my heart ♪

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♪ I'm feeling a spark ♪

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♪ I'm feeling the flame ♪

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♪ Lights up the dark ♪

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♪ Now I'm shining
like the stars ♪

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♪ It's something
that I crave ♪

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00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,769
♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪

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♪ Like I'm
on a sugar high ♪

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♪ You can start believing
if you try ♪

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♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪

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♪ Like I'm
on a roller coaster ride ♪

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♪ Got my hands up ♪

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♪ And I ain't stopping ♪

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♪ Tonight ♪

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♪ I'm feeling the clouds
come down to earth ♪

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♪ I'm floating around ♪

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♪ Laughing so hard
that it hurts ♪

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♪ It's just one
of those perfect days ♪

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♪ I'm taking in it ♪

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♪ I forget to breathe ♪

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♪ It's bursting inside    ♪

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♪ So much I can't even sleep ♪

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♪ I get lost
in my own world ♪

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♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪

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♪ Like I'm on a sugar high ♪

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♪ You can't stop me
even if you try ♪

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♪ I'm feeling so alive ♪

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♪ Like I'm on a roller
coaster ride ♪

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♪ Got my hands up
and I ain't stopping ♪

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♪ Tonight ♪

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♪ No one's gonna stop me ♪

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♪ No one's gonna let you ♪

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♪ 'Cause I feel so alive ♪

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♪ So oh oh oh alive ♪

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♪ Oh oh oh oh... ♪

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I never knew you had this
kind of wild side, honey.

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Are you sure
you know what you're doing?

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Absolutely, you're going
to be great at this.

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[sneezes]

46
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Oh, here ya go!

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Why aren't you strapped
to an instructor?

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I'm certified,
I jump solo.

49
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Yeah?

50
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OK?

51
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But I'm, I'm not ready!
[grunting]

52
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All right, honey,
we have to talk.

53
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-What?
-I'm breaking up with you!

54
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-You're what?
-It's not you it's me!

55
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-What?!
-There's an Uber waiting
for you when you land!

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[yells]

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-OK.
-[screams]

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♪ Like I'm on
a roller coaster ride ♪

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♪ Got my hands up ♪

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♪ And I ain't stopping ♪

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♪ Tonight ♪

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♪ No one's gonna stop me ♪

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♪ No one's gonna let you ♪

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♪ 'Cause I... ♪

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I liked that one.

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Yeah, he seemed nice.

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Do you still
want to make a jump?

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There's another
landing field up ahead.

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Are you crazy?
I could die.

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[man] Yeah, I'll be there
at 6PM sharp like always.

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No. Because there's never
anybody I want you to meet, Mom.

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Yeah, there still swimming,
last I checked.

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All right, I'll see you Sunday.

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I love you too, bye-bye.

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-Dinner Sunday at Mom's?
-Yeah.

76
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Oh, I'm sorry, man.
You want to come
to dinner on Sunday?

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Aw thanks, man,
I'd love to.

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[chuckles]
So, what seismic earth shift
got your ass off the couch

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and in to my office today,
buddy?

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Basketball with the guys.

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Oh, yeah.

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Man, I can't do it,
I got to work.

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-Hoops, bro.
-I hear ya, I can't do it.
Look at this.

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Oh, oh, who's
the little brunette

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with the big guy?
What did he do, kill her?

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-An assault.
-He beat her up?

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-She kicked his ass, actually.
-Ha! Yeah?

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Yeah, so she caught him
having sex with the neighbor.

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There was an altercation,
and he's suing her for damages.

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So, she hired me
to make it all go away.
She still loves the guy.

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She wants him back
after he boned the neighbor?

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I don't know what
to tell you, man.

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Sexual impulses are strong,
but sometimes,

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I guess love is stronger.

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Is that the Hayworth file?

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It sure is.

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[gasps] So, you're handling
the arbitration?

98
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Yeah, I gotcha covered.

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You bet, you can head home
to the kids.

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-[cell phone ringing]
-Oh!

101
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Whoa, whoa!

102
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Hey, honey. No, the Adderall
is in the green bottle,

103
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it's organic.

104
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Yeah. No, honey,
it's right next to the...

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[gasps] No!

106
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That's liquid gold!

107
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Nope, that's a goner.

108
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Honey, you're going to
have to take some milk

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out of the freezer.
I lost the afternoon load.

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[whispers] Sorry.

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It's still warm.

112
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I don't care. Calvin,
I need you in my office.

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You can close the door
behind you.

114
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You like it here
don't you, Calvin?

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Your work has been outstanding.
Partners have noticed.

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Yeah. You know, I'm surprised,

117
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but you can
actually do good work
in an oversized law firm

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with hourly rates
higher than gods.

119
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Hmm. How are the women's rights
cases going?

120
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Mm. Just fine, great.

121
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Still winning?

122
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I'm undefeated.
But you knew that.

123
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Hm. That's good.

124
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It's really good.

125
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Gena, why am I here?

126
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I have a situation
that needs handling,

127
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and I think you are
just the person for the job.

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-Client?
-Blogger.

129
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My sister, actually.

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Ah-ha. The mysterious sister
you never speak of.

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She was only 15
when our dad died.

132
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Just a kid, really.
She was heartbroken.

133
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:01,948
And then... I went off
to law school...

134
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Well, I'm sure she's fine.

135
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:07,186
She might look fine
from the outside.

136
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She's a successful scientist
here in Portland, actually.

137
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,759
She writes formulas
for Fortune 500 companies.

138
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-What kind of formulas?
-Various things.

139
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Did you know that there
is a formula for happiness?

140
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Yeah, it's called whiskey.

141
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[chuckles]

142
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:29,075
Anyway, that is
all a façade.

143
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The real Lauren is
a different person altogether.

144
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Look at this.

145
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The Pig Theory.

146
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The point of
infidelity and guilt.

147
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Gena, this is
kind of awesome.

148
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:51,998
It's not awesome,
it's insane.

149
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:55,001
Can you imagine
the impact she's having
on these people's lives?

150
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:58,070
Not to mention
her own mental wellbeing.

151
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They're empowering her.

152
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:04,043
She's been offered
a very lucrative book deal.

153
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:07,246
And I'm just concerned

154
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,582
that if she writes that book,

155
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:12,985
the girl I grew up with
will be gone forever.

156
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:16,222
So, I need you to stop her.

157
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,858
The blog, the book,
all of it.

158
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,327
And how exactly

159
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,795
am I supposed
to do that?

160
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:25,231
I don't care how you do it.

161
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,900
Use your powers of persuasion.

162
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,802
You're undefeated, right?

163
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:31,037
Women love you.

164
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,939
Ah...

165
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,741
You want me to mess
with this poor girl's head?

166
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:39,712
No, just...
take her to drinks,

167
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:42,582
you know, show her that there
are good guys out there.

168
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,616
Guys like you.

169
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,751
[sighs]

170
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,990
I'm sorry, I...
I can't do that.

171
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:54,994
Mm. I had a feeling
you'd say that.

172
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:58,798
So, I have
an offer for you.

173
00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:01,033
Do this and I will recommend

174
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,802
that you make partner
to the board.

175
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,637
Now that's cold, Gena,

176
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,372
you know I deserve
to make partner.

177
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:10,109
Yes, you do,
and this will guarantee it.

178
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:15,281
Tucker, Aaronson,
Mauldin & Chesney.

179
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,116
Has a nice ring to it,
doesn't it?

180
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,387
[sighs]

181
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,322
OK...

182
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:28,361
OK. I'll talk to her...

183
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:36,135
and I'll get her
to shut down the blog.

184
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,104
Mm.

185
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:41,173
I knew you would
see things my way.

186
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:43,075
[scoffs]

187
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:34,393
No, no, you tell him I will make
that donation to Popular Science

188
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,429
and I don't want
any recognition for it.

189
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,131
People need
their science, man.

190
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:40,332
Oh!

191
00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:42,268
Whoa, whoa!

192
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:45,838
-Hey, you OK there?
-Yeah.

193
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:47,973
You mind if I take a look?

194
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,077
Can I have my leg back?

195
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:54,080
Yeah, sorry.

196
00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:57,116
Here, let me help you up.

197
00:11:57,116 --> 00:12:00,186
[grunts, sighs]

198
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,455
-Here you go.
-Thanks.

199
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,424
Listen, that could be
a nasty sprain.

200
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,026
Why don't I get
you some ice.

201
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:08,094
Maybe a cup of coffee?

202
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:13,399
You know, I don't know you.

203
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,235
I'm sorry, but why would I
get coffee with you?

204
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,370
I'm Calvin.

205
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,906
[both chuckle]

206
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,284
Thanks.

207
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,021
I'm Lauren, by the way.

208
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:38,023
Nice to meet you.

209
00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:41,060
What's-what's
in the folder there?

210
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:43,529
Uh, it's my work.
I'm a scientist,

211
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,831
but mainly I just work
on product improvement.

212
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,434
And it's a report
on a formula I was developing.

213
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,203
Wow, that sounds serious.

214
00:12:51,203 --> 00:12:52,972
Not so much.

215
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,441
It's the formula for,
I don't know, the perfect pizza.

216
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,877
Cheese, crust, and beer.

217
00:12:57,877 --> 00:13:00,112
[laughs]
Basically, right? Yeah.

218
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,515
I mean, there might be
a few more factors at play,
but...

219
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,116
Such as?

220
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,520
All right, well,
so the perfect pizza

221
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,456
boils down to that
first perfect bite, you know?

222
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,491
But with these larger pizzas,

223
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,560
sometimes the crust
can get a little soggy,

224
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,262
especially in the middle,

225
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:19,799
but you can calculate
the perfect ratio

226
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,901
between the thickness
of the pizza's crust

227
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,069
and constant volume
of toppings,

228
00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:27,506
then you can formulate
the perfect bite.

229
00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:30,509
Anyway, our client

230
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:34,313
used the formula to ad
nine grams of dough
to their pizza,

231
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,449
and now some say
it's the perfect pizza.

232
00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:39,218
Wow.

233
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:41,387
[chuckles] Yeah.

234
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:44,890
Well, you know
what this means, don't you?

235
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:48,160
Actually, I really don't.

236
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,964
It means that you have
to take me to this place

237
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:55,334
and we need to experience
this perfect pizza.

238
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,437
I don't know,

239
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,272
I should probably just...

240
00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:02,241
Come on, you have to.

241
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,109
It's the perfect pizza,
it can't wait.

242
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,545
OK, OK, you're kind of
putting me on the spot here,

243
00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,280
but all right,
let's try the pizza.

244
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,015
Come on, if you can walk,
you can eat pizza.

245
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,483
I can hobble down the street
a little bit, yeah.

246
00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:14,386
All right, terrific...
perfect pizza.

247
00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:17,289
You can't tell a guy
about a perfect pizza...

248
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,325
-[laughs]
-Come on... Do you need this?

249
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:21,393
-Yeah, thank you.
-Are you sure
you trust me with this?

250
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:26,565
Wow, I gotta say,
that was a pretty good pizza.

251
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:28,300
-Pretty good.
-Pretty good.

252
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,402
I don't know
if it's the perfect pizza...

253
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:32,104
-Oh, I see.
-Thank you.

254
00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:33,472
But it's pretty good.

255
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,241
I'll give it to you,
it's pretty good.

256
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:36,475
It's pretty good. OK.

257
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:37,977
Thank you.
I'll take pretty good.

258
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,545
[chuckles]

259
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,281
[inaudible]

260
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,062
-Thank you.
-Yeah.

261
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,302
Watch that ankle.

262
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:05,204
It's OK.

263
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,608
Well,
thank you for the ice.

264
00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:13,112
Yeah,
thank you for the pizza.

265
00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:16,015
It was great to meet you.

266
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,150
Great meeting you, Lauren.

267
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,351
Goodnight.

268
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:22,688
Hey, Lauren...

269
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,325
Can I see you again?

270
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,631
Maybe.

271
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,368
That's not a no.

272
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:38,037
[door opens]

273
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,297
[knocking]

274
00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:09,101
-[gasps]
-Voodoo?

275
00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:12,404
[chuckles]

276
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:14,540
-Thank you.
-You're welcome,
you're welcome.

277
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,976
-That's super sweet.
-It is super sweet.

278
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,477
-It is super sweet.
-Yeah.

279
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,080
-But I do love this place.
-Yeah, one at a time there.

280
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,448
Oh, mmmm.

281
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,802
[chuckles]

282
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,370
Thanks.

283
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,439
Yeah, no, I was
really lucky to get this place.

284
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:24,209
-I moved in two years ago.
-Yeah, it's really nice.

285
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:29,415
So...

286
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:33,252
You know, you don't have
to leave right away.

287
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:38,457
You can... stay the night
if you want.

288
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:42,694
OK, um...

289
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:45,264
I'd like that.

290
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:46,598
But I can't.

291
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:53,272
Um, but I thought we were...

292
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,541
-I thought we had been...
-We are.

293
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:57,843
We are.

294
00:17:57,843 --> 00:18:00,846
And, um...

295
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:04,850
that's why I don't want to
take this to the next level

296
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:07,486
until we've been totally
honest with each other.

297
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:09,822
I thought we had been.

298
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:22,801
I know about your blog,

299
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,637
the, um, Pig Theory?

300
00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,408
Everything.

301
00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:34,480
Blog? [scoffs] What...

302
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,116
Gena told me...

303
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:41,153
She's my boss.

304
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:44,256
-Did Gena put you up to this?
-No, no.

305
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:47,326
Nobody put me up
to anything.

306
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:50,796
I, I saw a picture of you
on her desk

307
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,632
and she told me
about the blog.

308
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:56,902
I... I was intrigued.

309
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:05,277
No. What about all that
about donating to
Popular Science magazine.

310
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:06,812
I mean, you were
outside my office...

311
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,748
Just an excuse to meet you.

312
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:13,485
I didn't know you were
going to sprain your ankle,

313
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:17,356
but, um, yeah.

314
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,224
I mean, if you
read the blog,

315
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,226
then why you would
want to meet me?

316
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,164
You intrigued me.

317
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:28,700
You still do.

318
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,274
Hey, come on,

319
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:39,778
this past week
has been great, right?

320
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:42,714
So, um...

321
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,450
maybe you show me more.

322
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,654
More of the real you.

323
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,462
OK, you want to see more?

324
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,434
Come up to my office.

325
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:08,640
OK.

326
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:24,790
So, as you can see,
the blog is...

327
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,658
kind of a big deal.

328
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,597
Are these all your followers?

329
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:34,233
I've got just under
two million globally.

330
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,569
I was even thinking about
turning the whole thing
into a book.

331
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:42,841
Wow, it's impressive.
It is.

332
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:46,478
And the blog's good,
too, I've read it.

333
00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:49,348
But you know what
impresses me more?

334
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:52,618
The fact that you haven't
written anything since we met.

335
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:56,355
Had a full week,
not one post.

336
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:58,924
It gives a guy a little hope.

337
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:05,397
You know. Hope that maybe
the Pig Slayer has met someone?

338
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:09,968
She's ready
to turn over a new leaf
and shut all this down?

339
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:12,838
Shut it down?

340
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,640
[scoffs]

341
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,708
What would I tell
all these people?

342
00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:19,611
I mean, I'm sorry,
but some of them,

343
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,647
I've actually
changed their lives.

344
00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:23,915
For example, this one.

345
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,984
"I asked my heart
to please stop breaking.

346
00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:29,688
I prayed to God for a cure.
Then I found the Pig Slayer."

347
00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:32,791
They kind of depend on me.
I can't just shut it down.

348
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,961
Sure, you can.
What is that?

349
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:40,532
That there... B minus C,
what is all that?

350
00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:43,402
That's my infidelity formula.

351
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:44,770
That's what the theory
is based on.

352
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:48,373
[chuckles]
Your infidelity formula.

353
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:50,442
-Yeah.
-OK, explain.

354
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,079
OK, OK...

355
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:57,949
So all of these variables
are assigned a value of 1-10,

356
00:21:57,949 --> 00:21:59,618
10 being the highest,

357
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:01,486
and you multiply boredom

358
00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:04,056
by the difference between
the excitement of someone new

359
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:06,425
and the familiarity
of comfort,

360
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:09,528
and you subtract from that
the fear of conflict,

361
00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:11,797
added with
the opportunity to cheat,

362
00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:14,066
and that final value,
if that's 20 or higher,

363
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,601
then that person
is gonna cheat.

364
00:22:16,601 --> 00:22:19,404
And as a failsafe,

365
00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:21,973
you break up
after six months of dating.

366
00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:26,345
Statistically speaking
it's not safe to date
for longer than that.

367
00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:29,381
And it works?

368
00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:32,751
Well, two million people
agree with me.

369
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,756
[sighs]

370
00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:41,593
It's... getting kind of late.

371
00:22:41,593 --> 00:22:45,397
Um, I should feed Ripley
and go to bed.

372
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:53,839
How can you be so sure?

373
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:56,942
I mean, essentially
you are breaking up

374
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:59,411
with these people
before they cheat.

375
00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:02,647
[Lauren] Before they have
the opportunity to cheat.

376
00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:05,817
Yeah, but what if they
never would have at all?

377
00:23:05,817 --> 00:23:07,953
[sighs] People cheat.

378
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,621
All they need
is the opportunity

379
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:11,423
and to know
they won't get caught.

380
00:23:11,423 --> 00:23:13,859
-That's your theory?
-Yeah.

381
00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:16,428
Based on a pretty kick-ass
formula, yes, that's my theory.

382
00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:17,629
And you won't be
convinced otherwise?

383
00:23:17,629 --> 00:23:18,964
That's just how it is

384
00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:22,501
-and how it's going to be,
forever?
-Yeah.

385
00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:25,437
And what if I offer a way
to prove your theory wrong?

386
00:23:25,437 --> 00:23:27,139
I don't see how
you'd be able to do that.

387
00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:28,874
Now, hold on,
you're a scientist, right?

388
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:30,175
So, you know that
a theory is nothing more

389
00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:32,043
than a theory
until it's proven.

390
00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:36,615
So have you actually
tested this theory?

391
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:38,817
-How could you test it?
-OK. Well, you said yourself

392
00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:40,619
that everybody scores
a 20 or higher

393
00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:42,020
after six months
of dating, correct?

394
00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:43,989
-Yeah, correct.
-So, all we would need to do

395
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:46,491
is find a group of people
who have been in a relationship

396
00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:47,926
for longer than six months,

397
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:50,162
and give them
the opportunity to cheat

398
00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:52,697
without getting
caught, right?

399
00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:54,566
[sighs] I suppose--

400
00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:56,535
Now to keep a close watch
on our subjects,

401
00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:58,637
they would have to be
people close to us.

402
00:23:58,637 --> 00:24:00,205
Like my friends,
or your friends.

403
00:24:00,205 --> 00:24:02,908
Wait, hold on.
I don't understand.

404
00:24:02,908 --> 00:24:04,075
What are you proposing?

405
00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:07,112
I'm suggesting
that you and I

406
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:09,014
have a little competition.

407
00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:10,916
-A competition?
-Mm-hmm.

408
00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:13,552
I pick five of my friends
who've been in a relationship

409
00:24:13,552 --> 00:24:14,953
for longer than six months,

410
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:17,456
and you pick the enchantresses

411
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:18,790
who will be their downfall.

412
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,892
You tempt them,
you challenge them,

413
00:24:20,892 --> 00:24:21,960
you do your worst.

414
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,695
You pick a situation

415
00:24:23,695 --> 00:24:25,163
in which you think gives them

416
00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:26,798
the best opportunity to cheat,

417
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,468
and we will see if
they take the bait.

418
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:32,504
OK? Best three
out of five wins.

419
00:24:32,504 --> 00:24:36,475
OK, if three out of five
people cheat,

420
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,176
then you have to post
on my blog

421
00:24:38,176 --> 00:24:39,878
and write a forward
to the book

422
00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:42,747
about the competition
and how it all went down,

423
00:24:42,747 --> 00:24:44,883
and admit that,
yes, my theory is correct.

424
00:24:44,883 --> 00:24:46,985
OK,

425
00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:49,554
but if three
out of five resist,

426
00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:51,723
then you've got to post
admitting you were wrong

427
00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:53,992
about the whole thing,
and you gotta shut it all down.

428
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:59,731
And you have to agree
to be with me.

429
00:24:59,731 --> 00:25:02,501
Like normal people,
no expiration date.

430
00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,036
[dog grumbles]

431
00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:06,905
Mm.

432
00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:09,508
If I win,

433
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,243
I get my six months
with you.

434
00:25:11,243 --> 00:25:13,278
Really?

435
00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:15,580
Yeah.

436
00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:19,084
Yeah, if I win,
you still post, admit defeat,

437
00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:23,755
but I get my six months,
and then we end it. Agreed?

438
00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:27,259
Agreed.

439
00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:34,566
Goodnight, Lauren.

440
00:25:46,945 --> 00:25:49,881
[sighs]

441
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,716
You're upset.

442
00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:53,818
-I'm not upset.
-Yes, you are.

443
00:25:53,818 --> 00:25:57,556
Your voice always rises like
three octaves when you're upset.

444
00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:58,890
[deep voice]
I'm not upset.

445
00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,825
Now you're transgender.

446
00:26:00,825 --> 00:26:03,995
Oh... First of all, how could
you embarrass me like that?

447
00:26:03,995 --> 00:26:05,864
What... You...

448
00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:11,303
You send some guy my way,
who doesn't even...

449
00:26:11,303 --> 00:26:13,572
and why would he...?

450
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:16,875
First of all,
I know how to find a guy.

451
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:19,978
Finding them has never been
your problem, sweetie.

452
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:25,750
I don't have any problems!

453
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,352
You know, I really thought
he liked me.

454
00:26:27,352 --> 00:26:29,087
He does, you idiot, I mean,

455
00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:31,623
why else would he take part
in this... what is it,

456
00:26:31,623 --> 00:26:33,625
like a competition?

457
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:37,095
Yeah. You're right.
Best three out of five wins.

458
00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:39,164
Oh, I'm so gonna
kick his ass.

459
00:26:39,164 --> 00:26:42,667
How exactly is this
going to work?

460
00:26:42,667 --> 00:26:46,371
OK, so, we have a list
of challengers, right?

461
00:26:46,371 --> 00:26:50,308
And all these people have been
in relationships six months
or longer,

462
00:26:50,308 --> 00:26:52,911
and to prove my theory correct,

463
00:26:52,911 --> 00:26:57,649
alls I have to do is...
tempt them.

464
00:26:59,651 --> 00:27:01,686
Oh, my God, there's a list.

465
00:27:01,686 --> 00:27:03,221
What do you know
about these people?

466
00:27:03,221 --> 00:27:05,056
[Lauren]
Everything I need to know.

467
00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:07,692
Simon Walker, OK,
so, he's a preppy bartender.

468
00:27:07,692 --> 00:27:09,661
-[Gena]
The bartender at Toochies?
-[Lauren]    Right, exactly.

469
00:27:09,661 --> 00:27:11,229
Apparently, he's one
of Cal's best friends

470
00:27:11,229 --> 00:27:13,999
and he's been engaged
for two years.

471
00:27:13,999 --> 00:27:17,168
Now, Cal says,
"Oh, he wouldn't
possibly cheat."

472
00:27:17,168 --> 00:27:18,870
That's a very long engagement.

473
00:27:18,870 --> 00:27:21,706
-Right?
-Who's that?

474
00:27:21,706 --> 00:27:23,708
[Lauren] Edward Hockett.

475
00:27:23,708 --> 00:27:25,010
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

476
00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:26,378
They're high school
sweethearts.

477
00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:28,880
Now we went to
a yoga class together,

478
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,915
and actually,

479
00:27:30,915 --> 00:27:32,917
oh, you know, I hate to do it
to her really,

480
00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:36,154
but, uh, hey, if Cal's right
and my theory is totally wrong,

481
00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:39,090
then, hey, I haven't done
anything, right?

482
00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:42,193
Right. But you're not going
to actually arrange

483
00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:43,762
for these people
to have sex, are you?

484
00:27:43,762 --> 00:27:46,364
No. OK, so,

485
00:27:46,364 --> 00:27:48,166
Cal and I
argued about this, right?

486
00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:49,801
And he came up
with a good point.

487
00:27:49,801 --> 00:27:51,836
He said, "Well, somebody
could always back out,

488
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:54,105
or change their mind,
how are you gonna know?"

489
00:27:54,105 --> 00:27:57,442
And I said, "Listen,
if the underwear have come out,

490
00:27:57,442 --> 00:28:00,812
it's a done deal,"
so we decided on that.

491
00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:02,313
Underwear is proof.

492
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:05,150
You're going to steal
these people's underwear?

493
00:28:05,150 --> 00:28:07,686
Me? No, no, no.
I'm not gonna do that.

494
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,454
Corina's gonna do it.

495
00:28:09,454 --> 00:28:10,789
Who's Corina?

496
00:28:10,789 --> 00:28:12,323
[chuckles]

497
00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:14,759
She's a devout
follower of the blog.

498
00:28:14,759 --> 00:28:17,095
She's got some very interesting
things to say about men.

499
00:28:17,095 --> 00:28:19,164
We have gotten close
over the last couple of years.

500
00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:22,000
She... dances.
Exotically.

501
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,704
-[GenShe's a stripper.
-[Lauren]
Hey, don't be so judgey.

502
00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:27,906
She's a person.
Like you or me.

503
00:28:27,906 --> 00:28:29,474
Thank you.

504
00:28:29,474 --> 00:28:31,276
Thank you...

505
00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:33,378
Anyway, I said she could

506
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:35,080
post a victory blog
when we win.

507
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,416
Mm. When you win?

508
00:28:38,416 --> 00:28:39,851
Mm-hmm.

509
00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:41,920
Look, I'm a little bit
of an expert

510
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,122
in human nature, OK?
I can't lose.

511
00:28:44,122 --> 00:28:47,092
OK, but what if you do?

512
00:28:47,092 --> 00:28:49,094
[sighs]

513
00:28:49,094 --> 00:28:52,897
Well, if I do,
I have to admit defeat.

514
00:28:52,897 --> 00:28:55,066
I have to shut
down the blog,

515
00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:57,068
which means I lose
my followers.

516
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,403
Then I have to postpone
the book,

517
00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,438
because without a blog
there is no book.

518
00:29:00,438 --> 00:29:03,908
That's a lot of think about.
You must really like him

519
00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:05,510
if you're willing to
risk so much.

520
00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:10,515
I don't know,
I'm going to win.

521
00:29:10,515 --> 00:29:12,150
Also think about
it this way.

522
00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,152
If I get the city's
top female advocate attorney

523
00:29:14,152 --> 00:29:17,522
writing on my blog
about the competition
and what it proves?

524
00:29:17,522 --> 00:29:20,425
That book, that book
is worth the mint.

525
00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:23,495
Wait, Sharon Gottlieb
she works in our office.

526
00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:26,064
She is happily married,
just had a baby.

527
00:29:26,064 --> 00:29:28,800
Corina is definitely
not her type.

528
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,303
[Lauren] Yeah, no, I know.
He threw that in there.
But, you know what? It's fine.

529
00:29:32,303 --> 00:29:34,506
The pig theory applies
to men and women alike.

530
00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:37,275
We all can be pigs.
That's the whole point.

531
00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:40,044
I mean, you and Mom
were a huge inspiration.

532
00:29:40,044 --> 00:29:41,846
Gee, thanks.

533
00:29:41,846 --> 00:29:44,048
So, how are you going
to tempt Sharon?

534
00:29:44,048 --> 00:29:47,152
There's a male dancer
that works at the Caritas Club.

535
00:29:47,152 --> 00:29:50,255
-Oh...
-He's down to play. [chuckles]

536
00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:52,924
And, God,
he's really hot.

537
00:29:52,924 --> 00:29:55,059
Poor Sharon
doesn't stand a chance.

538
00:29:55,059 --> 00:29:58,296
OK. And, uh,
these last two challengers?

539
00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:00,498
[Lauren] Oh right,
Garrett Stuckey.

540
00:30:00,498 --> 00:30:04,903
Yeah, that's, um, that's Cal's
fitness instructor.

541
00:30:04,903 --> 00:30:09,507
You know, he's one of these
thick, veiny-neck kind of guys.
[laughs]

542
00:30:09,507 --> 00:30:12,911
He's been living with
the aerobics instructor
for two years.

543
00:30:12,911 --> 00:30:14,245
That seems like an easy one.

544
00:30:14,245 --> 00:30:16,347
Yeah.
That's exactly what I think.

545
00:30:16,347 --> 00:30:18,483
But, I don't know,
Cal swears

546
00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:22,220
he's a man of integrity
and honor.

547
00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:24,956
[laughs]
No, he doesn't actually
talk like that.

548
00:30:24,956 --> 00:30:26,958
I swear, he does.

549
00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:28,493
I don't know, maybe the
competition brought out

550
00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:31,396
a whole new
Prince Charming thing.

551
00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:34,532
That's precious.

552
00:30:34,532 --> 00:30:38,536
Gena, I've been meaning
to ask you.

553
00:30:38,536 --> 00:30:41,439
So, you guys went
to law school together,

554
00:30:41,439 --> 00:30:43,074
you work with him,

555
00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:45,210
you've known him
a long time, he's a guy,

556
00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:47,111
and you're... you.

557
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:52,116
You guys never slept together
or anything, right?

558
00:30:52,116 --> 00:30:53,585
Of course not!

559
00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:55,186
'Cause that would be gross.

560
00:30:55,186 --> 00:30:58,957
Yes, that would.

561
00:30:58,957 --> 00:31:00,525
Now who is this
last challenger?

562
00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:02,527
[laughs] Yeah.

563
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,529
That's his minister.
Married guy.

564
00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:07,131
[Gena] Minister?
That hardly seem fair.

565
00:31:07,131 --> 00:31:09,601
[Lauren] I thought that at
first too, but, I don't know,

566
00:31:09,601 --> 00:31:11,169
he's a
Presbyterian minister,

567
00:31:11,169 --> 00:31:13,171
so he never took
the oath of celibacy,

568
00:31:13,171 --> 00:31:17,308
and I do say that, you know,
the theory applies to everyone,

569
00:31:17,308 --> 00:31:18,610
so, it is fair.

570
00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:21,412
Still, that seems like
kind of a long shot.

571
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:25,283
Does it, though?

572
00:31:25,283 --> 00:31:28,286
[laughing]

573
00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:32,423
OK but, how can you be sure
he's not going to

574
00:31:32,423 --> 00:31:36,027
tell all of his friends
before just so that he can win?

575
00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:42,200
Uh, yeah,
that's a good point.

576
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,168
Well, I guess we'll just
have to hope that he's

577
00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:46,671
a man of integrity
and honor.

578
00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:49,140
[laughs]

579
00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:01,119
[chuckles]

580
00:32:04,322 --> 00:32:06,057
Good evening.

581
00:32:09,994 --> 00:32:11,996
Well, it's just
a temporary shutdown.

582
00:32:14,032 --> 00:32:16,000
Can't be writing
on the blog

583
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,569
in the middle
of the competition.

584
00:32:18,569 --> 00:32:20,271
Don't want to ruin the secret.

585
00:32:20,271 --> 00:32:22,573
-Right, Ripley?
-[dog whimpers]

586
00:32:23,574 --> 00:32:26,210
[sighs] OK...

587
00:32:31,482 --> 00:32:33,117
[sighs]

588
00:32:35,219 --> 00:32:37,388
[chatter and laughter]

589
00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:55,540
And... I raise
you two dollars.

590
00:32:57,108 --> 00:32:58,476
You are so bluffing.

591
00:32:58,476 --> 00:33:00,745
Kwan, you're not
even in the hand.

592
00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:04,449
It's a Tae Kwon Do trick.
I can read your body,
therefore, your mind.

593
00:33:04,449 --> 00:33:07,652
You took Taw Kwon Do
in the third grade.

594
00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:09,520
It never leaves you.

595
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,155
-Oh, my God, Kwan.
-Hey man,

596
00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:13,458
my people
have suffered a lot.

597
00:33:13,458 --> 00:33:16,661
Did you know in some places
you're only allowed
to have one kid?

598
00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:19,664
Yeah, but you're hungry again
an hour later, all right,
let's go.

599
00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:22,467
Boo-yah!
King high straight.

600
00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:24,035
OK...

601
00:33:24,035 --> 00:33:26,671
Now, don't feel too bad.
I got the brains.

602
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:28,740
But you, you got the...

603
00:33:30,208 --> 00:33:31,509
I got the looks too.

604
00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:35,480
[laughter]

605
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,282
Didn't even see the flush.

606
00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:39,717
-No!
-[all] Oooh!

607
00:33:39,717 --> 00:33:41,019
Thank you. Thank you.

608
00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:42,320
My doctor says
take two of these

609
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,156
-and call him in the morning.
-[laughs]

610
00:33:45,156 --> 00:33:48,192
Cal, tell the guys
about your new girlfriend.

611
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:51,462
The hikes, the long walks
in the park.

612
00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:55,166
Yeah, guys, she's, uh,
yeah, she's pretty great.

613
00:33:55,166 --> 00:33:58,636
[Garrett] Does she work out,
bro? I mean, 'cause you want to
keep that ass high and tight,

614
00:33:58,636 --> 00:34:01,205
'cause later she's
going to give up
and it's going to sag.

615
00:34:01,205 --> 00:34:03,408
She looks like she works out.

616
00:34:03,408 --> 00:34:05,543
How about we hear about
what she's like?

617
00:34:05,543 --> 00:34:11,649
Well, she's, uh, cool,
and smart and quirky.

618
00:34:11,649 --> 00:34:13,484
A little bit crazy.

619
00:34:13,484 --> 00:34:15,086
Hey, is she a red head?

620
00:34:15,086 --> 00:34:16,587
Come on.

621
00:34:16,587 --> 00:34:20,625
Man, Kimberly has been coming
to bed lately in flannels.

622
00:34:20,625 --> 00:34:22,226
It's a clear message.

623
00:34:22,226 --> 00:34:24,562
-Black women
do not wear flannel.
-[laughing]

624
00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:27,131
I'm still being punished from
the last time we went fishing.

625
00:34:27,131 --> 00:34:28,633
You should rub her feet.

626
00:34:28,633 --> 00:34:30,201
What?

627
00:34:30,201 --> 00:34:31,436
I'm telling you,

628
00:34:31,436 --> 00:34:34,338
Jenny loves it
when I rub her feet.

629
00:34:34,338 --> 00:34:37,742
And then I run her calves,
and then I rub her knees.

630
00:34:37,742 --> 00:34:40,111
-Dude!
-We get it! Thank you.

631
00:34:40,111 --> 00:34:43,281
[laughs]
So what kind of crazy is she?

632
00:34:43,281 --> 00:34:47,351
Yeah, like, Angelina Jolie crazy
or Tilda Swinton crazy?

633
00:34:47,351 --> 00:34:49,587
-[laughs]
-Who the hell is Tilda Swinton?

634
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,124
Nah, I'd say she's probably

635
00:34:53,124 --> 00:34:54,659
the Tilda crazy,

636
00:34:54,659 --> 00:34:56,461
but she's got a lot
of sweetness too.

637
00:34:56,461 --> 00:34:59,397
I'm telling you, this uh,
this girl's a good one.

638
00:34:59,397 --> 00:35:02,233
Well, be nice to her.
I like this one.

639
00:35:02,233 --> 00:35:05,736
Oh, thank you, doctor,
I plan on it.

640
00:35:05,736 --> 00:35:09,340
Hey, guys.
Who the hell is Tilda Swinton?

641
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:12,477
Jesus, Garrett. Go to a movie.
Go see a movie!

642
00:35:12,477 --> 00:35:13,678
You too busy?

643
00:35:13,678 --> 00:35:17,248
"I'm poundin' weights! Uhh!"

644
00:35:17,248 --> 00:35:20,451
-Protein, reps.
-[laughter]

645
00:35:20,451 --> 00:35:23,888
Ante up, douche.

646
00:35:31,829 --> 00:35:36,134
[Gena] Just got off the phone
with Mom, she's pulling up now.

647
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,536
You know, I don't see
what the big deal is.

648
00:35:38,536 --> 00:35:40,771
I mean, she's been dating
since Dad died.

649
00:35:40,771 --> 00:35:43,207
Aren't you even
a little but curious?

650
00:35:43,207 --> 00:35:45,276
-No.
-What if he's the one?

651
00:35:45,276 --> 00:35:47,245
Gena,
she already met the one.

652
00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,716
Hello, my darlings.

653
00:35:51,716 --> 00:35:53,918
I'm so sorry
to keep you waiting.

654
00:35:53,918 --> 00:35:55,520
Alejandro is
parking the car.

655
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:56,787
Hi, Mom.

656
00:35:56,787 --> 00:35:58,523
Hey, Mom,
how have you been?

657
00:35:58,523 --> 00:36:01,692
I love your new... look.

658
00:36:01,692 --> 00:36:04,595
Mama Mia, Bellissimo!

659
00:36:04,595 --> 00:36:07,865
-It's Valentino.
-Giorgio Armani.

660
00:36:09,233 --> 00:36:13,337
BonjournMy darling.

661
00:36:16,574 --> 00:36:18,809
-Oh!
-Sweet.

662
00:36:18,809 --> 00:36:22,280
Guys, this is
Alejandro Baraza.

663
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:26,517
This is my daughter, Gena,
and my other daughter, Lauren.

664
00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:29,687
Like dulcet dewdrops
dripped from a diamond.

665
00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,190
I love it...

666
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:33,658
-I love it!
-Oh, well!

667
00:36:33,658 --> 00:36:35,660
[fake sneezes]

668
00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:39,530
Oh! Oh.
I'm so sorry!

669
00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:42,400
I just must be a...

670
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,869
drippy, drippy dewdrop.

671
00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,938
It's OK, it's OK...

672
00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:48,506
-Let's eat.
-Hmmm.

673
00:36:48,506 --> 00:36:50,374
-[Gena] Right this way.
-Thank you.

674
00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:51,976
So, they tell you in class

675
00:36:51,976 --> 00:36:53,844
you have to
switch partners every week

676
00:36:53,844 --> 00:36:56,214
so you can experience
different types of dancers.

677
00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:59,350
Alejandro refused to switch.

678
00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:01,319
-Of course.
-Alejandro,

679
00:37:01,319 --> 00:37:03,221
if you don't mind me asking,

680
00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:07,592
what was a gentleman
who's you know, your age,

681
00:37:07,592 --> 00:37:11,596
doing at a senior
ballroom dance class?

682
00:37:11,596 --> 00:37:15,633
I understand your curiosity,
and I will tell you right now.

683
00:37:15,633 --> 00:37:18,736
I work like a dog
in my shop.

684
00:37:18,736 --> 00:37:21,239
He's a designer.
He makes men's suites.

685
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,940
-Has his own label.
-[Alejandro] Yeah.

686
00:37:22,940 --> 00:37:26,744
-Wow.
-So, I was thinking
to myself and I say,

687
00:37:26,744 --> 00:37:30,548
"Alejandro,
you're such a great dancer,

688
00:37:30,548 --> 00:37:33,017
and your heart
is only half full.

689
00:37:33,017 --> 00:37:35,586
This is not the right way
to live the life.

690
00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:40,458
You must live the life
with the heart full of love,
always, right?"

691
00:37:40,458 --> 00:37:45,296
So, I walked into the class,
and I was ready

692
00:37:45,296 --> 00:37:47,565
with the shaking of my hulo,

693
00:37:47,565 --> 00:37:50,635
and sharing the love
for the dance,

694
00:37:50,635 --> 00:37:54,839
and there she was,
like a beautiful ball
of sunshine,

695
00:37:54,839 --> 00:37:57,341
burning my poor eyes.

696
00:37:57,341 --> 00:37:59,043
-Amore mio.
-[giggles]

697
00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:04,782
Act your age.

698
00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:07,918
And what does that mean?
"Act my age?"

699
00:38:07,918 --> 00:38:11,589
Am I supposed to be at home
knitting sweaters?
Does Gena act her age?

700
00:38:11,589 --> 00:38:13,791
Or what about you, Lauren?
You're 30 years old.

701
00:38:13,791 --> 00:38:15,559
Aren't you supposed
to be married by now

702
00:38:15,559 --> 00:38:16,994
and giving me grandbabies?

703
00:38:16,994 --> 00:38:18,029
I don't see that happening.

704
00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:20,331
I'm very busy,
all right?

705
00:38:20,331 --> 00:38:22,800
Work is always crazy,
then there's my blog,

706
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,435
and now
this book thing...

707
00:38:24,435 --> 00:38:26,904
Well, we can't all be
Pig Slayers, Lauren.

708
00:38:26,904 --> 00:38:29,674
How long's that been going on,
anyway? And when's
that going to stop?

709
00:38:29,674 --> 00:38:33,678
-I'm sure it's just a phase.
-At some point the phase
becomes a reality.

710
00:38:33,678 --> 00:38:36,447
And the long-ago sanity
becomes a phase.

711
00:38:36,447 --> 00:38:39,383
I mean, really,
none of us Walden women

712
00:38:39,383 --> 00:38:42,787
are exactly traditionalists,
but you've taken this too far.

713
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:47,525
Mom, I'm sorry, but I just
don't understand
where you're coming from.

714
00:38:47,525 --> 00:38:49,460
I'm just standing up
for what I believe in.

715
00:38:49,460 --> 00:38:53,331
You're not standing
for anything, you're running.

716
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,099
You're not letting anybody in.

717
00:38:55,099 --> 00:38:58,836
Actually, she has met someone.

718
00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:00,338
Really?

719
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,040
Yes! His name is
Calvin Chesney,

720
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:07,878
he is a lawyer at my firm,
and they like each other a lot.

721
00:39:07,878 --> 00:39:10,748
Thank God for that!

722
00:39:10,748 --> 00:39:14,085
-When can I meet him?
-Uh, well, you can't.

723
00:39:14,085 --> 00:39:17,688
-Why not?
-Yeah, why not?

724
00:39:17,688 --> 00:39:20,825
It would be so fun
if you brought Calvin around
to meet the family.

725
00:39:20,825 --> 00:39:22,860
I mean, you and Mom
could go on a double date.

726
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:25,696
Yes, yes.

727
00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:28,666
You should always
believe in your life

728
00:39:28,666 --> 00:39:30,568
with the heart full of love.

729
00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:33,571
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

730
00:39:33,571 --> 00:39:35,072
You mentioned that.

731
00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:37,975
I... In that vein,

732
00:39:37,975 --> 00:39:42,780
I'm actually gonna head out
and go see Calvin right now.

733
00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:45,683
Nice meeting you,

734
00:39:45,683 --> 00:39:50,688
and Mom,
it's always good to...
see you.

735
00:40:00,664 --> 00:40:03,501
[laughs]

736
00:40:03,501 --> 00:40:06,070
-[Calvin] What is this?
-Is it me?

737
00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:09,006
Not at all!

738
00:40:09,006 --> 00:40:12,777
It's Gena's.
She loaned it to me for the day.

739
00:40:12,777 --> 00:40:14,645
Thought you might like a ride.

740
00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:16,480
Did she now?

741
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,482
Well, come on, get in,
let's drive this puppy!

742
00:40:18,482 --> 00:40:21,552
-OK, but I'm driving back.
-Oh...

743
00:40:28,526 --> 00:40:31,562
-Ready?
-Ready. Let's go.

744
00:41:07,097 --> 00:41:11,569
And I... got your Queen.

745
00:41:11,569 --> 00:41:15,039
-What? Oh, no!
-Yeah.

746
00:41:15,039 --> 00:41:17,074
Damn.

747
00:41:22,046 --> 00:41:23,647
Checkmate!

748
00:41:23,647 --> 00:41:26,617
Yeah, you set me up there,
didn't you?

749
00:41:26,617 --> 00:41:28,886
-Just a little.
-A little.

750
00:41:28,886 --> 00:41:31,589
All right. You win.

751
00:41:36,994 --> 00:41:40,831
[door opens, shuts]

752
00:41:44,268 --> 00:41:46,136
Whoa! Sorry to interrupt.

753
00:41:46,136 --> 00:41:48,906
That's just gross.

754
00:41:48,906 --> 00:41:50,741
Then again,
kind of not sorry.

755
00:41:50,741 --> 00:41:52,009
[hums tune]

756
00:41:52,009 --> 00:41:53,711
Why don't they find a room?

757
00:41:53,711 --> 00:41:56,881
-It's his house.
-[laughs]

758
00:41:56,881 --> 00:42:00,217
What a clown.
[laughs]

759
00:42:00,217 --> 00:42:03,587
Yeah, ass clown.

760
00:42:03,587 --> 00:42:07,057
-He's weird.
-Ah, he's harmless.

761
00:42:07,057 --> 00:42:09,193
Why does he
live here, though?

762
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:12,763
I mean, you could afford
this place on your own.

763
00:42:12,763 --> 00:42:14,999
-You think?
-[laughs]

764
00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:16,967
Nah, I know I could.

765
00:42:16,967 --> 00:42:19,603
Just... That's Jake,

766
00:42:19,603 --> 00:42:22,006
you know,
he's always been there for me.

767
00:42:22,006 --> 00:42:26,176
We've been friends
since grade school
and then basketball,

768
00:42:26,176 --> 00:42:28,879
I was point guard
and he was right wing,

769
00:42:28,879 --> 00:42:31,882
all the way through law school
he was always there for me.

770
00:42:31,882 --> 00:42:36,220
Quiz me before exams,
take me out for beers
afterwards.

771
00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:39,924
-Even if I always paid.
-I'm sure you did.

772
00:42:39,924 --> 00:42:43,861
Yeah, just...
he's my best friend.

773
00:42:43,861 --> 00:42:46,964
Seems natural
to have him around.

774
00:42:46,964 --> 00:42:50,935
At least until
I find somebody else

775
00:42:50,935 --> 00:42:54,638
to share this place with.

776
00:42:58,309 --> 00:43:00,978
How about you, huh?

777
00:43:00,978 --> 00:43:03,614
-Lone wolf.
-[chuckles]

778
00:43:03,614 --> 00:43:05,316
You like living alone?

779
00:43:05,316 --> 00:43:06,850
I'm not alone.

780
00:43:06,850 --> 00:43:09,753
I have Ripley...
and two million followers.

781
00:43:09,753 --> 00:43:14,024
[chuckles] That's right.
I forgot about that.

782
00:43:14,024 --> 00:43:17,127
-[chuckles]
-Gosh, where do they all sleep?

783
00:43:17,127 --> 00:43:18,829
Ahh,
I keep them in the garage.

784
00:43:18,829 --> 00:43:22,099
-Yeah...
-[laughing]

785
00:43:22,099 --> 00:43:24,702
Oh, man.

786
00:43:27,338 --> 00:43:29,907
I really like this.

787
00:43:31,041 --> 00:43:32,343
Me and you.

788
00:43:36,046 --> 00:43:37,114
Me too.

789
00:43:38,916 --> 00:43:40,884
Yeah?

790
00:43:40,884 --> 00:43:42,252
Yeah.

791
00:44:05,876 --> 00:44:07,778
I should get to work.

792
00:44:07,778 --> 00:44:09,913
I know...

793
00:44:09,913 --> 00:44:12,182
people need their science.

794
00:44:12,182 --> 00:44:15,319
[chuckles] Yes, they do.

795
00:44:33,237 --> 00:44:36,106
Hey, so when
do we get started?

796
00:44:36,106 --> 00:44:39,176
-With our competition?
-Yeah.

797
00:44:41,245 --> 00:44:42,880
Now.

798
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,748
Right now?

799
00:44:46,116 --> 00:44:47,851
Yep.

800
00:44:48,986 --> 00:44:51,455
As of now it can happen
at any time

801
00:44:51,455 --> 00:44:55,325
to anyone on your list.

802
00:44:55,325 --> 00:44:57,895
You know, I still don't
think it's fair.

803
00:44:57,895 --> 00:44:59,897
I mean, you know,
who all my friends are

804
00:44:59,897 --> 00:45:02,366
and I have no idea
who you're challenging with.

805
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:03,801
Oh, you'll know.

806
00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:09,139
See you soon.

807
00:45:09,139 --> 00:45:12,076
How will I know?

808
00:45:13,477 --> 00:45:17,214
-[chuckles]
-[door opens]

809
00:45:19,149 --> 00:45:21,452
[cell phone ringing]

810
00:45:31,061 --> 00:45:32,896
Nice car.

811
00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:34,465
[GenYou liked that, did you?

812
00:45:34,465 --> 00:45:36,800
That's one of the perks
of becoming partner.

813
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,802
Yeah, about that.

814
00:45:38,802 --> 00:45:40,170
I've been thinking,

815
00:45:40,170 --> 00:45:41,972
I can't accept
the partnership position

816
00:45:41,972 --> 00:45:44,174
if it has anything
to do with Lauren.

817
00:45:44,174 --> 00:45:45,809
Really.

818
00:45:45,809 --> 00:45:48,445
Yeah, I want to be partner,

819
00:45:48,445 --> 00:45:50,447
and I sure did like
driving that car,

820
00:45:50,447 --> 00:45:54,384
but I don't want you
suggesting me to the board

821
00:45:54,384 --> 00:45:56,820
for any another other reason
than I'm a great lawyer.

822
00:45:56,820 --> 00:45:59,323
Let's just see
how things play out.

823
00:45:59,323 --> 00:46:03,193
From what I can see,
everything is going
according to plan.

824
00:46:03,193 --> 00:46:06,230
OK, Gena, but so we're clear,

825
00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:09,767
I'm not doing this anymore
to make partner.

826
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:12,970
I'm doing this
because I like Lauren.

827
00:46:12,970 --> 00:46:15,038
Bye, Calvin.

828
00:46:28,285 --> 00:46:30,020
[grunts]

829
00:46:30,020 --> 00:46:31,989
How long have you
and Treasure been together?

830
00:46:31,989 --> 00:46:34,491
I don't know, man,
about two years, I guess?

831
00:46:34,491 --> 00:46:37,394
-You gonna get married?
-[chuckles] I don't know, man.

832
00:46:37,394 --> 00:46:39,229
You know,
work's been really good
and people been throwing

833
00:46:39,229 --> 00:46:41,165
an ass ton of money at me
just to get into shape,

834
00:46:41,165 --> 00:46:44,234
so we could afford it
if we needed to.

835
00:46:44,234 --> 00:46:47,805
No, I mean, you love her, right?
You want to marry her.

836
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:49,173
I, I don't know, man.

837
00:46:49,173 --> 00:46:50,841
I mean, I guess
I'm gonna have to

838
00:46:50,841 --> 00:46:53,877
if I want to keep her.
That's how it works, right?

839
00:46:53,877 --> 00:46:55,279
Why are you
busting my balls, man?

840
00:46:55,279 --> 00:46:57,147
Did Treasure
put you up to this?

841
00:46:57,147 --> 00:46:59,983
No, no, no, I was
just curious, that's all.

842
00:46:59,983 --> 00:47:01,318
You guys seem happy.

843
00:47:01,318 --> 00:47:03,887
Don't be a douche.

844
00:47:03,887 --> 00:47:05,889
[grunts]

845
00:47:13,931 --> 00:47:16,567
And so it begins.

846
00:47:16,567 --> 00:47:19,136
-Hi.
-Hello.

847
00:47:19,136 --> 00:47:23,006
-Are you Garrett?
-I am. What can I do for you?

848
00:47:23,006 --> 00:47:25,075
Well,
I'm looking for a trainer

849
00:47:25,075 --> 00:47:28,212
and the lady at the front desk,
she referred me to you.

850
00:47:28,212 --> 00:47:30,480
OK, so what kind of hours
are you looking for?

851
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,516
Oh, nothing here.

852
00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:35,519
I actually just bought
this really expensive
home equipment

853
00:47:35,519 --> 00:47:38,021
and I have no idea
how to use it.

854
00:47:38,021 --> 00:47:41,558
-Sounds dumb, huh?
-[chuckles]
Actually, no, not at all.

855
00:47:41,558 --> 00:47:44,127
You know, most people
don't get the full benefit
of their workout

856
00:47:44,127 --> 00:47:46,163
because they
don't know how to use
the equipment correctly.

857
00:47:46,163 --> 00:47:48,365
Sometimes they hurt themselves
or they hurt other people.

858
00:47:48,365 --> 00:47:50,467
-Really?
-That's a fact.

859
00:47:50,467 --> 00:47:53,003
You know, why don't
I give you a free lesson?

860
00:47:53,003 --> 00:47:54,571
Come over here
and show me how you bench.

861
00:47:56,907 --> 00:47:59,009
Yeah...

862
00:48:05,349 --> 00:48:07,551
All right, why don't you
go ahead, and tight back,

863
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:09,453
stick your chest up,
all right, good.

864
00:48:09,453 --> 00:48:10,988
Grab the bar...

865
00:48:10,988 --> 00:48:14,191
Now go ahead and lift up.

866
00:48:14,191 --> 00:48:17,160
There you go,
down and back up.

867
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,163
Oh that's great.
Chest out, there ya go.

868
00:48:20,163 --> 00:48:22,566
Tight back,
bring it up, good.

869
00:48:22,566 --> 00:48:25,135
All right.
Chest out a little more.

870
00:48:25,135 --> 00:48:28,105
Oh, that's great. Up. Perfect.

871
00:48:28,105 --> 00:48:30,040
I can work with that.

872
00:48:31,041 --> 00:48:32,910
That is great.

873
00:48:37,514 --> 00:48:40,050
She wants you to go
to her place to show her

874
00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:43,387
how to use gym equipment,
and you're buying that?

875
00:48:43,387 --> 00:48:45,589
[chuckles] Seriously, Cal,

876
00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:48,058
come on, man,
you know I'm a professional.

877
00:48:48,058 --> 00:48:50,160
This is what I do
for a living, all right?

878
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,996
I help clients at their houses
all the time. It's what I do.

879
00:48:52,996 --> 00:48:55,632
You need to get your damn mind
out of the gutter.

880
00:48:55,632 --> 00:48:57,634
Douche.

881
00:49:00,037 --> 00:49:01,204
Wow.

882
00:49:02,472 --> 00:49:04,574
[knock on door]

883
00:49:08,345 --> 00:49:09,346
[yawns]

884
00:49:16,453 --> 00:49:18,322
Oh hey, man.

885
00:49:18,322 --> 00:49:19,623
Sign here.

886
00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:21,058
Thanks.

887
00:49:26,163 --> 00:49:28,298
Have a good day.

888
00:49:47,417 --> 00:49:49,219
Garrett.

889
00:49:58,228 --> 00:50:00,197
[Gena] They're going to be
sending a gaggle of attorneys.

890
00:50:00,197 --> 00:50:02,065
It's an important case,
they don't want to screw it up,

891
00:50:02,065 --> 00:50:03,700
so expect a big presence.

892
00:50:03,700 --> 00:50:06,370
Do you really think "gaggle"
is the best collective term

893
00:50:06,370 --> 00:50:08,171
to use for a group
of attorneys?

894
00:50:08,171 --> 00:50:10,707
I'd think it'd be something
more sinister like "murder."

895
00:50:10,707 --> 00:50:12,676
No, no, the crows
have that one.

896
00:50:12,676 --> 00:50:15,045
-Do they? Crows.
-Mm-hmm.

897
00:50:15,045 --> 00:50:16,780
What about "onslaught"?

898
00:50:16,780 --> 00:50:18,682
-Onslaught! Ah, yes.
-[chuckling]

899
00:50:18,682 --> 00:50:20,751
Kids... focus! OK.

900
00:50:20,751 --> 00:50:23,687
Uh, you are going to be
staying at the Seattle Weston,

901
00:50:23,687 --> 00:50:26,323
get in Thursday night,
depo is in the morning.

902
00:50:26,323 --> 00:50:27,391
OK, but when
do we get back?

903
00:50:27,391 --> 00:50:28,525
Paul's got plenty
of milk,

904
00:50:28,525 --> 00:50:29,760
but Maddy's got
a soccer game

905
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,661
this weekend and she
is gonna lose her mind

906
00:50:31,661 --> 00:50:34,231
-if I'm not there.
-It's not a problem.

907
00:50:34,231 --> 00:50:35,799
You'll be back Friday night.

908
00:50:35,799 --> 00:50:39,236
I want you to be prepared
but don't over-work yourselves.

909
00:50:39,236 --> 00:50:42,739
Take some personal time
Thursday night, grab a drink.

910
00:50:42,739 --> 00:50:47,511
I doubt we'll have time
for that kind of thing,
but dinner might be nice.

911
00:50:49,513 --> 00:50:52,249
Dinner, drinks,

912
00:50:52,249 --> 00:50:55,452
on Thursday... OK.

913
00:51:04,561 --> 00:51:09,699
So, that's 32.50 each
plus 6.25 for your beer

914
00:51:09,699 --> 00:51:11,635
and we can split the tip?

915
00:51:11,635 --> 00:51:13,403
What do you say, six each?

916
00:51:13,403 --> 00:51:15,605
Sounds good. Thank you.

917
00:51:15,605 --> 00:51:18,475
Very precise,
this whole thing.

918
00:51:18,475 --> 00:51:20,243
You know, I never thought
I'd say this,

919
00:51:20,243 --> 00:51:23,413
but I actually look forward
to these business trips.

920
00:51:23,413 --> 00:51:26,483
The crappy bar food,
the cheap wine,

921
00:51:26,483 --> 00:51:30,287
and this... silence.

922
00:51:30,287 --> 00:51:33,256
Ah, come on, you've got
the perfect life,

923
00:51:33,256 --> 00:51:35,225
you've got two great kids,
happy marriage.

924
00:51:35,225 --> 00:51:36,293
I wish I had that.

925
00:51:36,293 --> 00:51:37,661
No, you don't.

926
00:51:37,661 --> 00:51:38,728
What are you talking about?

927
00:51:38,728 --> 00:51:39,830
It always looks like
you and Paul

928
00:51:39,830 --> 00:51:40,831
are having
such a great time.

929
00:51:40,831 --> 00:51:43,633
That's Facebook, Calvin.

930
00:51:43,633 --> 00:51:45,435
It isn't real.

931
00:51:45,435 --> 00:51:47,137
My children are monsters.

932
00:51:49,439 --> 00:51:51,341
We used to have fun though,

933
00:51:51,341 --> 00:51:52,876
back when we had sex.

934
00:51:52,876 --> 00:51:57,247
God, we used
to have great sex!

935
00:51:57,247 --> 00:51:58,615
[groans uncomfortably]

936
00:51:58,615 --> 00:52:00,550
But you can't have sex
with a baby on your tit.

937
00:52:00,550 --> 00:52:03,587
No, I imagine you can't.

938
00:52:03,587 --> 00:52:05,422
Physically,
it's practically impossible.

939
00:52:05,422 --> 00:52:07,157
It gets in the way.

940
00:52:07,157 --> 00:52:08,825
Unless you hold it off
to the side

941
00:52:08,825 --> 00:52:10,193
which you can practically do

942
00:52:10,193 --> 00:52:12,696
because your boobs
get really long!

943
00:52:12,696 --> 00:52:14,331
And there's the term.

944
00:52:14,331 --> 00:52:15,699
And your vagina
is never the same.

945
00:52:15,699 --> 00:52:18,135
When they say you can
push a bowling ball

946
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:21,204
through there
they're not kidding,
because it gets ginormous!

947
00:52:21,204 --> 00:52:23,707
And there's stuff
flying out of there,

948
00:52:23,707 --> 00:52:25,709
stuff you've
never seen before.

949
00:52:25,709 --> 00:52:28,278
Some people keep it,
some people eat it!

950
00:52:28,278 --> 00:52:31,882
OK! You want to order
some coffee here?

951
00:52:31,882 --> 00:52:33,383
Kegels, Please!

952
00:52:33,383 --> 00:52:35,719
I can hardly
hold my own pee in!

953
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:37,888
My vagina is dead.

954
00:52:37,888 --> 00:52:39,556
I have a dead vagina.

955
00:52:39,556 --> 00:52:42,325
That's a lot of talk
about your vagina here.

956
00:52:42,325 --> 00:52:44,294
Ease up, Calvin.

957
00:52:44,294 --> 00:52:46,796
Your mother's vagina went
through the exact same thing.

958
00:52:46,796 --> 00:52:48,932
Not something I care
to discuss either.

959
00:52:48,932 --> 00:52:51,835
God! These are
going to burst.

960
00:52:51,835 --> 00:52:54,271
[yelps]

961
00:52:54,271 --> 00:52:57,474
Sorry! Yeah,
that one got away from me.

962
00:52:57,474 --> 00:52:59,509
I better pull the plug.

963
00:52:59,509 --> 00:53:01,945
-Yeah.
-[groans]

964
00:53:01,945 --> 00:53:05,315
♪ Words can't say
what you're doing to me ♪

965
00:53:05,315 --> 00:53:08,919
♪ Give me just a minute,
try to understand ♪

966
00:53:08,919 --> 00:53:12,589
♪ I can't control
the shake in my hands ♪

967
00:53:12,589 --> 00:53:16,193
Calvin, you'll never guess
who I bumped into...

968
00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:17,694
This is Brandon.

969
00:53:17,694 --> 00:53:20,730
-Coxx. Dr. Coxx.
-[chuckles]

970
00:53:20,730 --> 00:53:23,600
Dr. Coxx noticed
my breast pump

971
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,570
and we got to talking,
and it turns out
he's a specialist.

972
00:53:26,570 --> 00:53:30,574
He helps women recover
who have had multiple births.

973
00:53:30,574 --> 00:53:32,509
Ooh! Have a seat!

974
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:40,317
So, Dr. Coxx,

975
00:53:40,317 --> 00:53:42,719
what are you, like,
a plastic surgeon?

976
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:44,821
Nothing quite so drastic.

977
00:53:44,821 --> 00:53:47,224
I work with the body
and the mind.

978
00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:49,626
I help women to rediscover
their inner selves

979
00:53:49,626 --> 00:53:51,928
so they can get in tune
with their bodies

980
00:53:51,928 --> 00:53:54,464
and re-awaken
their sexual being.

981
00:53:54,464 --> 00:53:57,467
How does it work?
Can you do me?
Can you fix me?

982
00:53:57,467 --> 00:54:00,003
It's a series of meditations
to relax the mind

983
00:54:00,003 --> 00:54:02,806
and intimate massage
techniques to relax the body.

984
00:54:02,806 --> 00:54:06,276
It gets the blood flowing again
in all the right places.

985
00:54:06,276 --> 00:54:09,012
Brings everything
back to life.

986
00:54:09,012 --> 00:54:10,647
[chuckles]

987
00:54:10,647 --> 00:54:14,017
So, doctor,
you seem pretty young.

988
00:54:14,017 --> 00:54:15,318
How old are you?

989
00:54:15,318 --> 00:54:16,886
It's true, I'm young.

990
00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:19,689
I graduated college
when I was 16,

991
00:54:19,689 --> 00:54:21,791
and completed
my medical training overseas.

992
00:54:21,791 --> 00:54:23,560
Europe is where it's at.

993
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:26,663
Sex is celebrated
there at every age.

994
00:54:26,663 --> 00:54:28,565
We Americans have
it all wrong.

995
00:54:28,565 --> 00:54:29,733
I'm trying
to change that.

996
00:54:29,733 --> 00:54:31,801
A savior of sorts.

997
00:54:31,801 --> 00:54:33,536
Yeah. [chuckles]

998
00:54:35,338 --> 00:54:36,973
I'm sorry I'm staring.

999
00:54:36,973 --> 00:54:40,010
It's just that you have
the most beautiful eyes.

1000
00:54:40,010 --> 00:54:41,711
I do?

1001
00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:43,780
It's just...

1002
00:54:48,351 --> 00:54:50,387
Do you mind?

1003
00:54:55,592 --> 00:54:58,561
Yes. There she is.

1004
00:54:58,561 --> 00:55:02,465
You definitely have
the vibrant sexual being
in there.

1005
00:55:02,465 --> 00:55:03,533
I could help you find it.

1006
00:55:04,934 --> 00:55:08,471
OK... This is great stuff,

1007
00:55:08,471 --> 00:55:10,807
but, uh, Sharon,
it's getting late.

1008
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:12,575
We've got
that early meeting.

1009
00:55:12,575 --> 00:55:14,744
We should probably
get your card and head up.

1010
00:55:14,744 --> 00:55:17,013
-We've got an early day
tomorrow.
-Calvin!

1011
00:55:17,013 --> 00:55:19,582
We're work colleagues, no!

1012
00:55:19,582 --> 00:55:21,384
Why don't we order
some more drinks

1013
00:55:21,384 --> 00:55:24,087
and talk about this some more?
I think it's fascinating!

1014
00:55:24,087 --> 00:55:27,357
-[chuckles]
-Yeah!

1015
00:55:27,357 --> 00:55:29,726
Fascinating!

1016
00:55:29,726 --> 00:55:32,962
The mistake that people
make with their lovers
is forcefulness.

1017
00:55:32,962 --> 00:55:35,632
You have to approach
these areas tenderly.

1018
00:55:35,632 --> 00:55:38,902
You have to gently coax

1019
00:55:38,902 --> 00:55:40,904
and gently coax some more

1020
00:55:40,904 --> 00:55:43,473
so that the body
reaches for it,

1021
00:55:43,473 --> 00:55:45,375
desires the touch.

1022
00:55:46,476 --> 00:55:49,446
God, that makes
so much sense!

1023
00:55:51,748 --> 00:55:54,351
Uhh, wow.

1024
00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:58,021
Sharon, look at the time,
we should probably go!

1025
00:55:58,021 --> 00:55:59,589
Yeah, we should.

1026
00:55:59,589 --> 00:56:01,558
Can I walk you?

1027
00:56:01,558 --> 00:56:03,893
No, no. There's no need,
I'll walk her.

1028
00:56:03,893 --> 00:56:05,595
Sharon,
is this your key card?

1029
00:56:05,595 --> 00:56:08,498
Actually,
a walk would be nice.

1030
00:56:08,498 --> 00:56:09,666
Thank you, Dr. Coxx.

1031
00:56:09,666 --> 00:56:11,534
But we have that meeting...

1032
00:56:11,534 --> 00:56:12,769
in the morning.

1033
00:56:12,769 --> 00:56:15,538
Surely there's no time
for a walk.

1034
00:56:15,538 --> 00:56:18,641
Calvin, I'm a grown woman.

1035
00:56:18,641 --> 00:56:22,145
I know when I need a walk.

1036
00:56:23,580 --> 00:56:25,648
-Shall we?
-Of course.

1037
00:56:25,648 --> 00:56:27,450
Grab my jacket.

1038
00:56:29,919 --> 00:56:31,588
[scoffs]

1039
00:56:31,588 --> 00:56:35,992
[chuckles] Goodnight!

1040
00:56:35,992 --> 00:56:38,061
[elevator dings]

1041
00:56:38,061 --> 00:56:40,163
[phone rings]

1042
00:56:40,163 --> 00:56:43,767
Tucker Aaronson and Walden,
may I help you?

1043
00:56:53,676 --> 00:56:56,613
Uh, let me transfer you.

1044
00:56:56,613 --> 00:56:58,848
Wow, those are
some ugly panties.

1045
00:57:00,049 --> 00:57:04,154
Yeah, they, uh...
for a case.

1046
00:57:04,154 --> 00:57:09,125
[chuckles] We are working on
the case of the terrible
granny panties, so...

1047
00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:12,028
Must be a big case! [snorts]

1048
00:57:12,028 --> 00:57:17,100
[chuckles] It is. It is...

1049
00:57:18,701 --> 00:57:20,970
-Hold all my calls.
-OK.

1050
00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:28,711
Sharon Gottlieb?

1051
00:57:28,711 --> 00:57:31,815
You might as well have
told me that size
really doesn't matter

1052
00:57:31,815 --> 00:57:35,618
and that the female orgasm
is made of rainbows.

1053
00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:40,723
Well, I'm sorry
that she surprised you,
but she didn't surprise me.

1054
00:57:40,723 --> 00:57:42,125
It's probably been
a long time

1055
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:44,060
since a man has looked at her
like that, you know?

1056
00:57:44,060 --> 00:57:46,529
We gave her a golden opportunity
and she took it.

1057
00:57:46,529 --> 00:57:51,201
She's clearly a sad woman
with a blown-out vagina
that needed tending.

1058
00:57:51,201 --> 00:57:55,705
I really wish I didn't know
that about her. [chuckles]

1059
00:57:55,705 --> 00:58:00,477
But it's not everyone.
It's not even the majority.

1060
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,745
But it is.

1061
00:58:02,745 --> 00:58:04,113
That's what
I've been trying to tell you.

1062
00:58:04,113 --> 00:58:05,715
You're wrong about people.

1063
00:58:05,715 --> 00:58:06,850
It's not that simple.

1064
00:58:06,850 --> 00:58:10,487
Yeah, well,
I wish it weren't.

1065
00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,522
You know, the tragic thing?

1066
00:58:12,522 --> 00:58:15,525
That a 220-pound man
wears smiley-faced boxers?

1067
00:58:15,525 --> 00:58:16,926
[chuckles]

1068
00:58:16,926 --> 00:58:20,497
OK. OK, what's tragic?

1069
00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:24,801
Well, the tragic thing
is that if you win,

1070
00:58:24,801 --> 00:58:28,605
your blog lives on
and you get to write your book,

1071
00:58:28,605 --> 00:58:34,177
but you and I get six months,
and then... it's over.

1072
00:58:36,946 --> 00:58:39,282
I mean, six months is...

1073
00:58:40,850 --> 00:58:42,218
God, that's nothing.

1074
00:58:48,057 --> 00:58:50,660
Hey kids, how we doing?

1075
00:58:50,660 --> 00:58:53,196
Simon, my man!

1076
00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:56,132
We are doing fantastic.

1077
00:58:56,132 --> 00:58:59,903
As a matter of fact,
we've got some great news.

1078
00:58:59,903 --> 00:59:02,672
That loan for the penis
extension finally came through?

1079
00:59:02,672 --> 00:59:05,675
[laughs] This guy.

1080
00:59:05,675 --> 00:59:07,644
No man, um,

1081
00:59:07,644 --> 00:59:12,181
Lauren and I
are getting married.

1082
00:59:12,181 --> 00:59:15,318
Wow, I mean...

1083
00:59:15,318 --> 00:59:17,020
Wow, that was quick!

1084
00:59:17,020 --> 00:59:19,088
Yeah. I'm not pregnant.

1085
00:59:19,088 --> 00:59:22,625
Well then,
drinks are on the house.

1086
00:59:22,625 --> 00:59:23,993
Hey, thank you, brother.

1087
00:59:23,993 --> 00:59:26,629
And listen, I'd love to have
the bachelor party

1088
00:59:26,629 --> 00:59:29,933
right here at Tucci's.
Is the back room available
for Saturday night?

1089
00:59:29,933 --> 00:59:31,868
-It's all yours.
-Awesome! Awesome!

1090
00:59:31,868 --> 00:59:34,270
And we'll head back
to my place after
for some shenanigans?

1091
00:59:34,270 --> 00:59:38,207
-Yeah, love it.
-[laughs]

1092
00:59:38,207 --> 00:59:40,944
-Huh?
-Bachelor party, huh?

1093
00:59:40,944 --> 00:59:42,812
-Shenanigans?
-Hey, come on,

1094
00:59:42,812 --> 00:59:44,914
what better opportunity
for someone to cheat

1095
00:59:44,914 --> 00:59:46,115
than a bachelor party?

1096
00:59:46,115 --> 00:59:47,684
It's practically
in the handbook.

1097
00:59:47,684 --> 00:59:50,086
-I knew there was a handbook.
-Uh-huh.

1098
00:59:50,086 --> 00:59:52,989
Listen, two of our competitors
are going to be there

1099
00:59:52,989 --> 00:59:54,123
and you only need one
to cheat

1100
00:59:54,123 --> 00:59:55,692
for this competition
to be over,

1101
00:59:55,692 --> 00:59:58,861
so we're going to
finish this this weekend.

1102
00:59:58,861 --> 01:00:00,163
Finish it?

1103
01:00:01,664 --> 01:00:03,733
Well, that's what
you want, right?

1104
01:00:03,733 --> 01:00:06,302
Your name in lights.
Glory, the big win?

1105
01:00:08,071 --> 01:00:10,807
Yeah, all right.

1106
01:00:10,807 --> 01:00:14,010
Saturday bachelor party,
we'll finish it.

1107
01:00:14,010 --> 01:00:17,013
Oh, and, uh, listen,

1108
01:00:17,013 --> 01:00:20,917
I would love
some strippers for Saturday.

1109
01:00:20,917 --> 01:00:23,620
Do you think Corina
knows any of those?

1110
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:26,255
Gee, probably.

1111
01:00:26,255 --> 01:00:29,659
I thought so.
Resourceful lady, that one.

1112
01:00:29,659 --> 01:00:32,829
-You have no idea.
-[chuckles]

1113
01:00:34,731 --> 01:00:36,766
So, are you just doing this
for the gifts?

1114
01:00:36,766 --> 01:00:38,301
'Cause we could use
a new Keurig.

1115
01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:41,337
-Nah, no gifts.
-Then why?

1116
01:00:41,337 --> 01:00:44,173
Women are happy to stay
engaged for like, ever!

1117
01:00:44,173 --> 01:00:46,009
It's a get out
of jail free card, man.

1118
01:00:46,009 --> 01:00:48,711
[chuckles]
Does Danielle know this?

1119
01:00:48,711 --> 01:00:52,115
She doesn't not know it.

1120
01:00:52,115 --> 01:00:55,051
Ahh, Jacob, you are an island.

1121
01:00:55,051 --> 01:00:56,853
So check this out.

1122
01:00:56,853 --> 01:00:59,756
It's the prototype
for my new app,
Mars Calling Venus.

1123
01:00:59,756 --> 01:01:01,758
A guy can ask Venus
anything he wants to know,

1124
01:01:01,758 --> 01:01:02,959
and she'll tell him the truth

1125
01:01:02,959 --> 01:01:04,661
about what women
are really thinking.

1126
01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:08,898
So, say for example...
sexual partners.

1127
01:01:08,898 --> 01:01:11,234
-[keys clacking]
-[computer chiming]

1128
01:01:11,234 --> 01:01:14,804
The average woman
has had eight lovers,
but when polled,

1129
01:01:14,804 --> 01:01:18,775
76% said they'd lie
and answer four or less.

1130
01:01:18,775 --> 01:01:22,412
Naughty, naughty, Venus.
Naughty, naughty, Venus.

1131
01:01:22,412 --> 01:01:24,347
-[chiming]
-Is that it?

1132
01:01:26,182 --> 01:01:27,984
Well, she gets naked.

1133
01:01:27,984 --> 01:01:30,153
And I loaded her with car
and sports trivia.

1134
01:01:30,153 --> 01:01:32,722
Ed got me a meeting
with some suits on Monday.

1135
01:01:32,722 --> 01:01:34,290
Ooh, I'm going to be rich!

1136
01:01:34,290 --> 01:01:37,760
Did you make her
look like Lauren?

1137
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:39,996
-What?
-Yeah, you...

1138
01:01:39,996 --> 01:01:42,031
Is that a mole
under her left eye?

1139
01:01:42,031 --> 01:01:45,702
Dude, you have
lost your mind.

1140
01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:49,872
This woman has straight up
crawled up inside your brain
and made you go wonky!

1141
01:01:49,872 --> 01:01:52,809
So, party tonight
at Tucci's?

1142
01:01:55,144 --> 01:01:56,746
I'll wear a suit.

1143
01:01:56,746 --> 01:01:58,981
You don't own a suit.

1144
01:01:58,981 --> 01:02:01,718
You own a suit.

1145
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,354
I own a suit. [sighs]

1146
01:02:09,025 --> 01:02:12,061
-[chatter]
-I've had a lot of free time.

1147
01:02:12,061 --> 01:02:13,396
[laughs]

1148
01:02:16,132 --> 01:02:19,168
There's the three rings
of marriage, brother.

1149
01:02:19,168 --> 01:02:22,805
There's the engagement ring,
the wedding ring,

1150
01:02:22,805 --> 01:02:24,841
and then there's
the suffer-ring!

1151
01:02:24,841 --> 01:02:28,377
-[guys groan]
-Boo!

1152
01:02:28,377 --> 01:02:30,780
Boo that man.

1153
01:02:32,281 --> 01:02:34,917
Oh, man, I can't believe
you're getting married.

1154
01:02:34,917 --> 01:02:38,054
You know how long Jenny
has been harassing me
to pull the trigger?

1155
01:02:38,054 --> 01:02:39,956
She wants four kids.

1156
01:02:39,956 --> 01:02:41,791
Dang,
that's a lot of kids.

1157
01:02:41,791 --> 01:02:43,226
That is a lot of kids.

1158
01:02:43,226 --> 01:02:46,295
In Korea we have large families
of many generations

1159
01:02:46,295 --> 01:02:48,498
and we all live together
under one roof.

1160
01:02:48,498 --> 01:02:50,500
You grew up in Napa Valley.

1161
01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:51,901
But my people, we...
We started--

1162
01:02:51,901 --> 01:02:54,537
Your parents own a winery...
in Napa!

1163
01:02:54,537 --> 01:02:55,838
[laughter]

1164
01:02:59,809 --> 01:03:01,844
So, what flipped the switch?

1165
01:03:01,844 --> 01:03:04,881
What can I say, fellas?
I love her.

1166
01:03:04,881 --> 01:03:06,883
-I hope so.
-Drink to that.

1167
01:03:10,186 --> 01:03:13,389
Mm. What about you, Ed,
do you love Kimberly?

1168
01:03:13,389 --> 01:03:16,993
Um, let me see.
I married the girl
when we were 18 years old,

1169
01:03:16,993 --> 01:03:18,895
so yeah, I think I love her.

1170
01:03:18,895 --> 01:03:22,098
No, that's time, man.
I'm talking about love.

1171
01:03:22,098 --> 01:03:25,001
Real love, the kind you
walk through fire for,

1172
01:03:25,001 --> 01:03:26,335
you know what I'm saying?

1173
01:03:26,335 --> 01:03:29,405
Well, yeah.
She's my girl.

1174
01:03:31,107 --> 01:03:33,042
Yeah, she is, right?

1175
01:03:33,042 --> 01:03:35,077
And she's a good one.

1176
01:03:35,077 --> 01:03:37,547
Things have been
going great since I started
rubbing her feet.

1177
01:03:37,547 --> 01:03:41,250
Sometimes she'll even put on
her old cheerleading outfit

1178
01:03:41,250 --> 01:03:43,586
-and wear it for me.
-There you go.

1179
01:03:43,586 --> 01:03:46,823
-Jenny thinks outfits are silly.
-Yeah, well, they're not.

1180
01:03:46,823 --> 01:03:49,592
My girl looks pretty amazing
in that outfit.

1181
01:03:49,592 --> 01:03:52,094
Well, that sounds
like love to me, man.

1182
01:03:52,094 --> 01:03:56,132
-Cheerleader love.
-[laughter]

1183
01:03:56,132 --> 01:03:58,100
Does she still love you?

1184
01:03:58,100 --> 01:03:59,368
Damn right, she loves me.

1185
01:03:59,368 --> 01:04:01,304
What kind of question
is that to ask a man?

1186
01:04:01,304 --> 01:04:03,940
-It's just a question.
-Yeah, come on,
why so defensive?

1187
01:04:05,174 --> 01:04:07,410
You boys better
get your heads in check.

1188
01:04:07,410 --> 01:04:11,113
That woman loves me!
She calls me her Eddie Pie.

1189
01:04:11,113 --> 01:04:13,015
-[laughter]
-What?

1190
01:04:13,015 --> 01:04:15,218
Whoa, hold on,
say that again?

1191
01:04:15,218 --> 01:04:18,955
It's not like an edible pie?
Like a Tasty Pastry?

1192
01:04:18,955 --> 01:04:24,126
OK, Eddie Pie.
I mean, it sounds like
you're it for her.

1193
01:04:24,126 --> 01:04:26,896
Like, you are her
White Knight.

1194
01:04:26,896 --> 01:04:29,332
Hmm.

1195
01:04:29,332 --> 01:04:32,101
Black Knight.
I'm her Black Knight.

1196
01:04:32,101 --> 01:04:35,571
-Yes, you are. Black Knight.
-Yeah.

1197
01:04:35,571 --> 01:04:37,106
No, No!

1198
01:04:37,106 --> 01:04:40,543
♪ Happy Birthday,
Mr. President ♪

1199
01:04:40,543 --> 01:04:45,147
-♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
-[all groan]

1200
01:04:45,147 --> 01:04:46,649
We're jamming.

1201
01:04:46,649 --> 01:04:48,651
There you go.

1202
01:04:54,390 --> 01:04:56,959
Hey, all I'm saying
is you're a lucky man.

1203
01:04:56,959 --> 01:05:00,363
That sense of truly finding
the one? It's pretty rare.

1204
01:05:00,363 --> 01:05:02,598
Yeah.

1205
01:05:02,598 --> 01:05:05,635
You call it. Do that.

1206
01:05:05,635 --> 01:05:08,170
Maybe four isn't so many.

1207
01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:09,639
Now that's
a butt load of kids.

1208
01:05:09,639 --> 01:05:12,074
-Shh. [laughs]
-That's a butt load of kids.

1209
01:05:12,074 --> 01:05:15,144
-That's a butt load of kids.
-[laughter]

1210
01:05:19,515 --> 01:05:21,918
I love you too, baby.

1211
01:05:24,220 --> 01:05:27,423
Maybe when I get home
you can...

1212
01:05:27,423 --> 01:05:32,194
wear that little...
outfit for me?

1213
01:05:32,194 --> 01:05:33,462
All right.

1214
01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:39,201
All right.
Bye-bye, baby.

1215
01:05:41,170 --> 01:05:43,072
It's noisy in there, huh?

1216
01:05:44,373 --> 01:05:46,943
You with all those crazy guys?

1217
01:05:48,144 --> 01:05:50,112
Uh, yeah.

1218
01:05:52,048 --> 01:05:54,984
It's hot in there, too.

1219
01:05:54,984 --> 01:05:57,153
I'm Corina.

1220
01:05:59,488 --> 01:06:00,957
Do you have a light?

1221
01:06:03,559 --> 01:06:06,529
-I don't smoke.
-[laughs]

1222
01:06:08,230 --> 01:06:11,067
Well,
you look smoking to me.

1223
01:06:11,067 --> 01:06:13,402
[laughs]

1224
01:06:13,402 --> 01:06:17,540
OK, OK... what you doing?

1225
01:06:17,540 --> 01:06:19,008
What do you mean,
"What am I doing?"

1226
01:06:19,008 --> 01:06:20,176
I'm talking to you.

1227
01:06:20,176 --> 01:06:22,244
You're doing more
than just that.

1228
01:06:24,613 --> 01:06:27,717
Maybe I am.
Do you have a name?

1229
01:06:28,718 --> 01:06:30,286
I got a name.

1230
01:06:30,286 --> 01:06:33,055
I just don't know
I want you to have it.

1231
01:06:33,055 --> 01:06:34,757
Is that so?

1232
01:06:41,230 --> 01:06:43,499
My name is Eddie Pie.

1233
01:06:43,499 --> 01:06:45,701
I am a Black Knight.

1234
01:06:47,236 --> 01:06:49,238
Goodnight, fair lady.

1235
01:06:52,742 --> 01:06:54,543
[sighs]

1236
01:06:54,543 --> 01:06:56,145
Good for him.

1237
01:06:56,145 --> 01:06:59,115
[dance music]

1238
01:07:11,193 --> 01:07:12,361
♪ Scratch my back ♪

1239
01:07:24,507 --> 01:07:26,375
♪ Scratch my back ♪

1240
01:07:35,618 --> 01:07:37,053
♪ Scratch my back ♪

1241
01:07:48,297 --> 01:07:51,400
♪ Very long time ♪

1242
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:52,768
[grunts]

1243
01:07:52,768 --> 01:07:54,470
That's better. [clears throat]

1244
01:07:54,470 --> 01:07:58,207
Now...
tell me where you want it?

1245
01:07:58,207 --> 01:07:59,809
-I know where I want it.
-Wait your turn.

1246
01:07:59,809 --> 01:08:01,710
It's never my turn.

1247
01:08:01,710 --> 01:08:04,647
-You want to take a shot?
-No, I'm trying to quit.

1248
01:08:04,647 --> 01:08:08,751
Aww. Well, you don't mind
if I take one, do you?

1249
01:08:08,751 --> 01:08:09,785
-Yeah.
-Up.

1250
01:08:09,785 --> 01:08:12,388
Wait. Whoa...

1251
01:08:12,388 --> 01:08:15,724
[clamoring]

1252
01:08:19,795 --> 01:08:21,630
[Calvin] OK...

1253
01:08:21,630 --> 01:08:25,568
OK, now...
where do we want it?

1254
01:08:25,568 --> 01:08:26,735
I don't.

1255
01:08:26,735 --> 01:08:28,370
Oh, you naughty boy.

1256
01:08:28,370 --> 01:08:30,272
In the crotch, huh?

1257
01:08:30,272 --> 01:08:33,542
That just so happens to be
my favorite place to take it.

1258
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:37,546
-How'd you know?
-[guys clamor]

1259
01:08:37,546 --> 01:08:39,648
All right, now,
you have to be
very careful,

1260
01:08:39,648 --> 01:08:41,717
'cause if you move,
it'll spill.

1261
01:08:41,717 --> 01:08:44,487
And let me make
one thing clear,

1262
01:08:44,487 --> 01:08:49,825
I am taking that shot,
every last drop.

1263
01:08:49,825 --> 01:08:51,527
[chuckles]

1264
01:08:51,527 --> 01:08:52,628
Are we ready, boys?

1265
01:08:52,628 --> 01:08:53,729
-[all] Yeah.
-No, no.

1266
01:08:53,729 --> 01:08:55,865
-Here we go!
-Ohh! Ohh!

1267
01:08:55,865 --> 01:08:59,135
Oh! You naughty boy.

1268
01:08:59,135 --> 01:09:04,707
Guess I'm just going
to have to clean you
all up with my tongue.

1269
01:09:04,707 --> 01:09:07,309
-Ooh.
-Oh!

1270
01:09:07,309 --> 01:09:08,878
[sighs]

1271
01:09:11,881 --> 01:09:13,716
Here's some ice...

1272
01:09:19,555 --> 01:09:23,526
I'm really sorry,
it was just a reflex.

1273
01:09:23,526 --> 01:09:25,494
Would you just make
yourself useful

1274
01:09:25,494 --> 01:09:26,729
and hand me my purse?

1275
01:09:26,729 --> 01:09:29,932
I'm leaving. [sighs]

1276
01:09:29,932 --> 01:09:31,367
Thanks.

1277
01:09:35,638 --> 01:09:37,239
[door opens]

1278
01:09:37,239 --> 01:09:38,908
I didn't want a shot.

1279
01:09:52,488 --> 01:09:55,524
Ooh, boy, you really
screwed that one up, buddy.

1280
01:09:55,524 --> 01:09:57,359
I can understand
you not wanting

1281
01:09:57,359 --> 01:09:59,895
to show everyone Mr. Floppy,
but did you really have to

1282
01:09:59,895 --> 01:10:01,697
knee that poor girl
in the face?

1283
01:10:01,697 --> 01:10:03,966
It was a reflex, man.

1284
01:10:03,966 --> 01:10:06,735
Hey, uh, where's Simon?

1285
01:10:08,771 --> 01:10:10,606
And... Mandy?

1286
01:10:10,606 --> 01:10:13,509
Where are they?

1287
01:10:13,509 --> 01:10:15,811
They went for a walk.

1288
01:10:15,811 --> 01:10:18,514
Wait, you let them leave?

1289
01:10:27,856 --> 01:10:30,526
[cell phone ringing]

1290
01:10:34,463 --> 01:10:35,831
-Hello?
-Hello, Lauren?

1291
01:10:35,831 --> 01:10:37,366
It's Heather Decker.

1292
01:10:37,366 --> 01:10:39,268
I have the update
on your book offer.

1293
01:10:39,268 --> 01:10:41,971
They like the blog
and your story around that,

1294
01:10:41,971 --> 01:10:43,772
but they caught wind
of the competition.

1295
01:10:43,772 --> 01:10:45,741
They think
that's a better angle.

1296
01:10:45,741 --> 01:10:48,244
Caught wind of it? How?

1297
01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:50,746
Your sister made a call
to the publisher.

1298
01:10:50,746 --> 01:10:53,315
Apparently, she's not
a fan of your blog.

1299
01:10:53,315 --> 01:10:56,552
She's pushing this new angle,
and they like it a lot.

1300
01:10:56,552 --> 01:10:57,720
[scoffs]

1301
01:10:57,720 --> 01:10:59,888
Gena is not a fan of the blog.

1302
01:10:59,888 --> 01:11:01,957
Why doesn't she just
stay out of my life?

1303
01:11:01,957 --> 01:11:04,927
Did you hear me, Lauren?
They are very interested.

1304
01:11:04,927 --> 01:11:07,896
They are offering
two million dollars for it.

1305
01:11:10,366 --> 01:11:12,835
-Two million?
-Yes.

1306
01:11:12,835 --> 01:11:16,705
But you have to win.
Otherwise, no deal.

1307
01:11:16,705 --> 01:11:19,275
Are you still there?

1308
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,976
They want to talk to you
on Monday.

1309
01:11:20,976 --> 01:11:23,045
They want to get started
right away.

1310
01:11:23,045 --> 01:11:25,447
Yeah, I'm still here.

1311
01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:28,450
Listen, that's...
that's an incredible offer,

1312
01:11:28,450 --> 01:11:30,052
that's amazing.

1313
01:11:30,052 --> 01:11:32,354
It's just it takes
the whole thing

1314
01:11:32,354 --> 01:11:33,989
into a completely
different direction

1315
01:11:33,989 --> 01:11:35,958
and I'm not sure
that's the book

1316
01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:37,493
that I want to write.

1317
01:11:39,561 --> 01:11:42,865
Let me think about it
for a couple of days. OK?

1318
01:11:42,865 --> 01:11:43,999
Thanks, Heather.

1319
01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:03,752
-Hey.
-How could you do it, man?

1320
01:12:03,752 --> 01:12:06,655
-Do what?
-You know what.

1321
01:12:06,655 --> 01:12:08,424
I don't know
what you're talking about.

1322
01:12:08,424 --> 01:12:12,328
Did you sleep with her?
Did you have sex with Mandy?

1323
01:12:12,328 --> 01:12:14,930
Look, man,
I don't know what you're
talking about, all right?

1324
01:12:14,930 --> 01:12:16,832
I thought you were
better than that.

1325
01:12:16,832 --> 01:12:18,801
[grunting]

1326
01:12:18,801 --> 01:12:22,738
Ah! Get out of there, Cal,
stop it! Get off of me!

1327
01:12:22,738 --> 01:12:23,872
You're still wearing
your underwear.

1328
01:12:23,872 --> 01:12:26,342
Yes, of course!

1329
01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:27,643
What the hell, Cal!

1330
01:12:27,643 --> 01:12:30,446
Well, did... did you sleep
with her or not?

1331
01:12:30,446 --> 01:12:33,115
Yeah, I slept with her.

1332
01:12:33,115 --> 01:12:34,983
Look,

1333
01:12:34,983 --> 01:12:39,355
we went down to the river
and we talked.

1334
01:12:39,355 --> 01:12:41,023
After a little while
she made a move,

1335
01:12:41,023 --> 01:12:44,360
but... I didn't want to.

1336
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:48,430
I mean, I wanted to,
but... I couldn't do it.

1337
01:12:48,430 --> 01:12:51,967
I've never cheated on Jenny,
so we just slept.

1338
01:12:51,967 --> 01:12:54,570
-[laughs]
-What are you laughing about?

1339
01:12:54,570 --> 01:12:57,539
You, man!
You're the man!!

1340
01:12:57,539 --> 01:13:01,477
-[shouting]
-Oh, God, OK, all right!

1341
01:13:01,477 --> 01:13:04,780
I knew it, I knew you were
one of the good guys, man!

1342
01:13:04,780 --> 01:13:08,650
I knew it! OK, that's two.

1343
01:13:08,650 --> 01:13:10,619
-Come on, baby, yeah.
-All right, all right.

1344
01:13:15,391 --> 01:13:18,093
All right, I believe you.
You know...

1345
01:13:18,093 --> 01:13:20,963
Of course, we'll never really
know what happened out there.

1346
01:13:20,963 --> 01:13:23,532
But if Mandy didn't
get his underwear,

1347
01:13:23,532 --> 01:13:26,802
then I guess we'll say
nothing happened.

1348
01:13:26,802 --> 01:13:30,472
Although, she's quite taken
with Simon.

1349
01:13:30,472 --> 01:13:32,841
She even wants me to let
her know when he's single.

1350
01:13:32,841 --> 01:13:36,779
[chuckles] I don't think
she's his type.

1351
01:13:36,779 --> 01:13:40,015
Yeah? She said
he's the first man

1352
01:13:40,015 --> 01:13:43,786
to ever turn
her down. Ever.

1353
01:13:46,655 --> 01:13:50,659
Hey, you know where
I want to take you
when all this is over?

1354
01:13:50,659 --> 01:13:52,661
It's not over yet.

1355
01:13:52,661 --> 01:13:54,463
I'll take you to Paris.

1356
01:13:54,463 --> 01:13:58,734
We can get some striped shirts
and live the life of the mimes.

1357
01:13:58,734 --> 01:14:01,203
Really horny mimes.

1358
01:14:01,203 --> 01:14:03,071
[chuckles]

1359
01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:08,010
I know it's going to be tough
for you to shut down that blog,

1360
01:14:08,010 --> 01:14:11,980
but, um, you know,
maybe you don't have to.

1361
01:14:11,980 --> 01:14:16,218
Maybe you could just... turn it
into something more positive.

1362
01:14:20,756 --> 01:14:24,226
Well, there's one more
challenger left.

1363
01:14:24,226 --> 01:14:26,695
It could go down
either way.

1364
01:14:26,695 --> 01:14:30,132
Ah, yes.
The good minister Dooley.

1365
01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:33,035
Well, I'm sorry, babe, but
he's a ringer for the home team.

1366
01:14:33,035 --> 01:14:35,504
My man is legit.

1367
01:14:35,504 --> 01:14:38,240
There is no way anyone
is going to convince him

1368
01:14:38,240 --> 01:14:40,976
to cheat on his wife.
[chuckles] Oh...

1369
01:14:40,976 --> 01:14:43,111
People can surprise you.

1370
01:14:43,111 --> 01:14:46,482
Mm. Yes, they can.

1371
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:49,918
If there's one thing
this competition has
taught me it's that.

1372
01:14:52,187 --> 01:14:53,789
Well, [clears throat]
we've decided

1373
01:14:53,789 --> 01:14:55,224
to have the last challenge
at Corina's house.

1374
01:14:55,224 --> 01:14:56,658
I'll text you the address.

1375
01:14:56,658 --> 01:14:58,527
Just tell the minister

1376
01:14:58,527 --> 01:15:01,029
that he should
come by around 7

1377
01:15:01,029 --> 01:15:05,534
and that you have a friend
who needs some guidance.

1378
01:15:05,534 --> 01:15:07,069
We're running
a conversion con.

1379
01:15:07,069 --> 01:15:10,772
-A conversion con?
-[laughing]

1380
01:15:10,772 --> 01:15:12,241
Listen to you.

1381
01:15:12,241 --> 01:15:13,942
It's a good thing
this is almost over.

1382
01:15:13,942 --> 01:15:16,211
You're turning
into a regular gangster.

1383
01:15:16,211 --> 01:15:19,515
Well, I have a meeting
with the publishers on Monday,

1384
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:25,087
they want to, you know, discuss
the book proposal, details...

1385
01:15:25,087 --> 01:15:26,922
Well, either way,
you're going to have

1386
01:15:26,922 --> 01:15:29,291
an interesting story to tell.

1387
01:15:31,593 --> 01:15:33,996
Hey, you want to have dinner
with me tomorrow night

1388
01:15:33,996 --> 01:15:36,198
while all this is going down?

1389
01:15:36,198 --> 01:15:37,933
You know, we can celebrate...

1390
01:15:37,933 --> 01:15:40,636
either way,
like a couple of good sports.

1391
01:15:40,636 --> 01:15:43,238
Wait for the results
together?

1392
01:15:45,173 --> 01:15:46,675
Yeah.

1393
01:15:48,043 --> 01:15:49,278
I'd like that.

1394
01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:51,847
Okay.

1395
01:15:51,847 --> 01:15:53,849
[insects chirping]

1396
01:15:58,186 --> 01:16:00,222
I talked to Minister Dooley
this afternoon

1397
01:16:00,222 --> 01:16:02,558
and he was all in for
bringing in another lost sheep,

1398
01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:06,762
so... the last competition
has begun.

1399
01:16:06,762 --> 01:16:08,263
-[sighs]
-May the best man win.

1400
01:16:08,263 --> 01:16:10,933
May the best person win.

1401
01:16:14,069 --> 01:16:15,137
[cell phone buzzing]

1402
01:16:15,137 --> 01:16:16,705
Oh, excuse me.

1403
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,809
Hello, this is Calvin.

1404
01:16:20,809 --> 01:16:22,578
Uh-huh?

1405
01:16:22,578 --> 01:16:24,680
Oh, you're kidding?

1406
01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:27,649
Yeah, is he all right?

1407
01:16:27,649 --> 01:16:30,619
OK, sure. Sure, yeah,
thanks for letting me know.

1408
01:16:30,619 --> 01:16:32,721
Uh-huh. Bye-bye.

1409
01:16:34,356 --> 01:16:36,758
-Wow.
-What happened?

1410
01:16:36,758 --> 01:16:40,295
Umm, Minister Dooley
is in the hospital.

1411
01:16:40,295 --> 01:16:42,230
-What?
-Yeah, apparently,

1412
01:16:42,230 --> 01:16:44,333
he broke his leg
playing hoops today.

1413
01:16:44,333 --> 01:16:48,804
Oh, God, well...
poor Minister Dooley,

1414
01:16:48,804 --> 01:16:51,807
but I'm supposed to be
meeting with the publisher

1415
01:16:51,807 --> 01:16:54,109
on Monday-- I can't keep
pushing them off.

1416
01:16:54,109 --> 01:16:55,644
Yeah, I know. I know.

1417
01:16:55,644 --> 01:17:00,349
Um. All right.
We need a new competitor.

1418
01:17:00,349 --> 01:17:03,952
So, um...

1419
01:17:03,952 --> 01:17:05,721
Jacob.

1420
01:17:05,721 --> 01:17:07,389
I'll send Jacob,
it's perfect.

1421
01:17:07,389 --> 01:17:08,991
-Jacob?
-Yeah, sure,

1422
01:17:08,991 --> 01:17:10,759
he's in the dark about
all this like we agreed,

1423
01:17:10,759 --> 01:17:13,261
and he's been engaged
to Danielle for over a year,

1424
01:17:13,261 --> 01:17:14,796
so he fits the bill, right?

1425
01:17:14,796 --> 01:17:18,634
I'll just, uh,
text him that a friend

1426
01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:21,203
needs help
with her computer

1427
01:17:21,203 --> 01:17:24,873
-[sent text alert]
-and we'll see
what happens.

1428
01:17:24,873 --> 01:17:26,975
-It could work.
-Yeah, yeah,
it's going to be good.

1429
01:17:26,975 --> 01:17:29,645
It's going to be good. We are
still going to end this tonight.

1430
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:32,314
-[cell phone buzzing]
-[laughs] Ah, he's free.

1431
01:17:32,314 --> 01:17:38,153
Sweet! OK, let me text him
the address and boom.

1432
01:17:38,153 --> 01:17:42,190
Done. We're back on, OK?

1433
01:17:45,027 --> 01:17:47,062
He's kind of a freak, right?

1434
01:17:47,062 --> 01:17:48,964
I mean, you sure
you want to use him?

1435
01:17:48,964 --> 01:17:51,933
But... he doesn't go
for easy women.

1436
01:17:51,933 --> 01:17:54,670
Huh, so, you scared?

1437
01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:56,004
Right? You're scared.

1438
01:17:56,004 --> 01:17:58,073
You're sensing another W
for team Calvin.

1439
01:17:58,073 --> 01:18:00,842
Don't refer to yourself
in the third person.

1440
01:18:00,842 --> 01:18:03,245
And don't be a sore loser.

1441
01:18:03,245 --> 01:18:06,348
All right? Excuse me,
I'm going to restroom.

1442
01:18:06,348 --> 01:18:08,383
It's a close one.

1443
01:18:08,383 --> 01:18:11,253
Jacob's good. Jacob's good.

1444
01:18:13,855 --> 01:18:15,457
[cell phone buzzing]

1445
01:18:26,468 --> 01:18:31,139
[whispers] Oh, this is bad,
bad, bad...

1446
01:18:48,223 --> 01:18:49,424
Hey, Simon.

1447
01:18:49,424 --> 01:18:51,326
Can you just, uh,

1448
01:18:51,326 --> 01:18:53,895
tell Calvin that I
started feeling really bad

1449
01:18:53,895 --> 01:18:56,064
and I had to leave
and I'll call him later?

1450
01:18:56,064 --> 01:18:58,366
-Yeah.
-Great, thanks.

1451
01:19:08,376 --> 01:19:10,879
[cell phone buzzes]

1452
01:19:32,934 --> 01:19:35,871
Hey, Simon, man,
did you see where Lauren went?

1453
01:19:35,871 --> 01:19:38,306
She said she wasn't feeling well
and that she'd call you.

1454
01:19:38,306 --> 01:19:41,443
What, she just took off?
Did she look sick?

1455
01:19:41,443 --> 01:19:44,045
She seemed kind of pale,
I guess?

1456
01:19:46,515 --> 01:19:48,984
[sighs]

1457
01:19:48,984 --> 01:19:51,086
[doorbell rings]

1458
01:19:58,393 --> 01:20:01,096
Oh, wow, Jacob,
hey, come in!

1459
01:20:01,096 --> 01:20:04,800
Hey, tech geek to the rescue.

1460
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:07,402
I don't know, you don't look
like a geek to me, Jacob.

1461
01:20:07,402 --> 01:20:08,937
You OK?

1462
01:20:08,937 --> 01:20:11,406
The computer's just
in the bedroom upstairs.

1463
01:20:11,406 --> 01:20:14,109
O...kay.

1464
01:20:17,946 --> 01:20:19,881
So, where's Cal?

1465
01:20:19,881 --> 01:20:23,185
Oh... Cal didn't tell you?

1466
01:20:23,185 --> 01:20:26,521
Yeah, we broke up
last night.

1467
01:20:26,521 --> 01:20:30,258
Everything was just
moving too fast.

1468
01:20:30,258 --> 01:20:33,261
It's OK though.
We're still friends.

1469
01:20:35,096 --> 01:20:36,965
Really?

1470
01:20:41,469 --> 01:20:43,405
So...

1471
01:20:46,541 --> 01:20:49,211
this is the one
that's giving me trouble.

1472
01:20:49,211 --> 01:20:53,949
So, is it running slowly
or not at all?

1473
01:20:53,949 --> 01:20:57,252
Slowly. But then it freezes
and then I have to

1474
01:20:57,252 --> 01:20:59,154
shut the whole thing off
and start over again.

1475
01:20:59,154 --> 01:21:01,122
It's-it's infuriating.

1476
01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:03,124
It sounds like you just need
to clean up your hard drive,

1477
01:21:03,124 --> 01:21:05,293
maybe run a de-frag.

1478
01:21:05,293 --> 01:21:06,862
Let me clean
some stuff up here

1479
01:21:06,862 --> 01:21:08,396
to see if that
fixes the problem.

1480
01:21:08,396 --> 01:21:10,866
-Thanks.
-Mm-hmm.

1481
01:21:12,601 --> 01:21:15,871
I'm lucky to have a bonafide
computer genius to help me.

1482
01:21:15,871 --> 01:21:17,138
[kisses cheek]

1483
01:21:18,506 --> 01:21:21,276
Yeah, that's me.

1484
01:21:33,288 --> 01:21:34,489
Wow.

1485
01:21:34,489 --> 01:21:36,892
What?

1486
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,627
Oh, your-your shoulders
are really tight.

1487
01:21:38,627 --> 01:21:40,328
When was the last time
you had a massage?

1488
01:21:40,328 --> 01:21:44,299
Oh, my God, [chuckles]
I don't know. Never.

1489
01:21:44,299 --> 01:21:46,167
Danielle doesn't give you
shoulder rubs?

1490
01:21:46,167 --> 01:21:47,168
No.

1491
01:21:50,472 --> 01:21:54,042
Here, unbutton this,
let me get in there.

1492
01:21:57,479 --> 01:21:59,681
Oh, God, that feels good.

1493
01:22:01,149 --> 01:22:02,217
[cell phone buzzes]

1494
01:22:03,218 --> 01:22:04,219
Oh...

1495
01:22:06,688 --> 01:22:07,956
[clears throat]

1496
01:22:31,012 --> 01:22:34,282
[sighs] Just need to let
the de-frag run a little while.

1497
01:22:34,282 --> 01:22:35,450
Takes a bit.

1498
01:22:35,450 --> 01:22:38,019
Thanks.

1499
01:22:40,455 --> 01:22:45,627
So, you and Calvin
are definitely over?

1500
01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:48,530
[sighs]

1501
01:22:48,530 --> 01:22:52,000
[scoffs] I just want this
whole thing to be over.

1502
01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:54,569
[sighs] I'm so confused.

1503
01:22:54,569 --> 01:22:58,206
I just...
I can't even think straight.

1504
01:23:00,608 --> 01:23:02,744
Broke up?

1505
01:23:07,649 --> 01:23:10,652
-[sighs]
-Hey, hey, it's OK.

1506
01:23:10,652 --> 01:23:14,122
Everything is OK.
I'm here.

1507
01:23:16,057 --> 01:23:18,259
Yeah.

1508
01:23:18,259 --> 01:23:20,462
Yeah, you are, aren't you?

1509
01:23:21,663 --> 01:23:25,133
Yeah, I'm here.

1510
01:23:25,133 --> 01:23:28,536
You've, uh, you've been
a great friend, Jacob.

1511
01:23:28,536 --> 01:23:31,106
Yeah? All right.

1512
01:23:31,106 --> 01:23:34,175
I think I understand you
pretty well.

1513
01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:37,612
Yeah, I always
really liked you.

1514
01:23:40,615 --> 01:23:43,184
Oh, um... Sorry, sorry.

1515
01:23:43,184 --> 01:23:47,288
Just my head really hurts.
I need an aspirin.

1516
01:23:47,288 --> 01:23:49,290
You're the perfect woman,
Lauren.

1517
01:23:49,290 --> 01:23:51,359
-What?
-You're the perfect woman.

1518
01:23:51,359 --> 01:23:54,429
I created an app that
I sold for a ton of money
this week

1519
01:23:54,429 --> 01:23:57,699
and it's all about you.
The perfect woman.

1520
01:23:57,699 --> 01:24:00,301
I'm going to be rich
and now that Calvin
is out of the way,

1521
01:24:00,301 --> 01:24:02,670
I can take care of you
like you deserve.

1522
01:24:02,670 --> 01:24:08,143
Uhh, I'm not
the perfect woman... at all.

1523
01:24:08,143 --> 01:24:11,212
You have no idea
how messed up I am, actually.

1524
01:24:11,212 --> 01:24:14,416
Ohh, I'm so messed up, so maybe
we're perfect for each other!

1525
01:24:14,416 --> 01:24:16,317
-Uh, wait, hold on.
-What?

1526
01:24:16,317 --> 01:24:17,786
I think my phone is... yeah.

1527
01:24:17,786 --> 01:24:20,355
-Yeah, I did hear it...
-[mumbles]

1528
01:24:20,355 --> 01:24:22,724
Uh, oh... Mom?

1529
01:24:22,724 --> 01:24:24,626
-Yeah, I'm, um...
-Lauren?

1530
01:24:24,626 --> 01:24:26,694
You don't have
to tease me anymore.

1531
01:24:26,694 --> 01:24:30,298
I'm already
crazy about you.

1532
01:24:43,211 --> 01:24:46,481
I knew... I always knew
we would be together,
I just knew it!

1533
01:24:46,481 --> 01:24:47,615
What the hell
is going on in here?

1534
01:24:47,615 --> 01:24:48,683
Oh, my God,
Calvin.

1535
01:24:48,683 --> 01:24:51,086
Oh... Nothing, nothing.

1536
01:24:51,086 --> 01:24:54,355
Absolutely nothing.
Oh my-- I'm so sorry.

1537
01:24:54,355 --> 01:24:59,227
It was the competition
and I was trying to win.

1538
01:24:59,227 --> 01:25:04,132
Uh, isn't life
really a competition?

1539
01:25:04,132 --> 01:25:05,300
Wait... [grunts]

1540
01:25:05,300 --> 01:25:07,435
Dude, you guys broke up!

1541
01:25:07,435 --> 01:25:09,504
You're a pig, man!
What's wrong with you?

1542
01:25:09,504 --> 01:25:10,872
You're supposed to be
my best friend.

1543
01:25:10,872 --> 01:25:12,874
Ohh! I'm the pig?

1544
01:25:12,874 --> 01:25:15,143
Is that how
we're gonna play it?

1545
01:25:15,143 --> 01:25:16,778
-What about you?
-What about me?

1546
01:25:16,778 --> 01:25:19,681
Oh, perfect freakin'
undefeated Calvin Chesney

1547
01:25:19,681 --> 01:25:22,750
never does anything wrong,
does he?

1548
01:25:22,750 --> 01:25:24,385
Or does he?

1549
01:25:24,385 --> 01:25:27,355
Huh, maybe we should
ask Gena what she thinks?

1550
01:25:27,355 --> 01:25:28,490
Jake, don't.

1551
01:25:28,490 --> 01:25:30,725
Gena?
What is he talking about?

1552
01:25:30,725 --> 01:25:32,427
-[chuckles]
-Don't.

1553
01:25:32,427 --> 01:25:34,629
Calvin slept with your
sister back in law school.

1554
01:25:34,629 --> 01:25:36,731
-Oh!
-[gasps]

1555
01:25:38,633 --> 01:25:41,202
-Lauren, Lauren, wait a minute.
-No.

1556
01:25:41,202 --> 01:25:43,204
I didn't...

1557
01:25:43,204 --> 01:25:45,573
Why did you do that, man?
What's wrong with you?

1558
01:25:45,573 --> 01:25:48,476
-You should have told her.
-I didn't sleep with Gena!

1559
01:25:50,211 --> 01:25:52,213
-Really?
-Really.

1560
01:25:53,548 --> 01:25:55,150
No, no, that summer

1561
01:25:55,150 --> 01:25:57,252
you guys were all
flirty and stuff.

1562
01:25:57,252 --> 01:25:58,620
You guys acted
like you did!

1563
01:25:58,620 --> 01:26:00,922
No, man!
We went on a few dates,

1564
01:26:00,922 --> 01:26:03,158
but we're friends
for Christ's sake.

1565
01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:08,596
Yeah, yeah, I see what
I did there. Sorry, my bad.

1566
01:26:08,596 --> 01:26:11,799
Yeah, sorry about your lip.

1567
01:26:11,799 --> 01:26:13,334
[groans]

1568
01:26:13,334 --> 01:26:15,403
-Lauren!
-Oh, that hurts.

1569
01:26:15,403 --> 01:26:17,372
Lauren! Lauren?

1570
01:26:25,313 --> 01:26:26,648
Are you OK? What happened?

1571
01:26:26,648 --> 01:26:27,949
Why didn't you tell me
the truth?

1572
01:26:27,949 --> 01:26:30,585
What? Oh no, no, no, no.

1573
01:26:30,585 --> 01:26:33,588
He-- Look, he told me
as soon as he met you

1574
01:26:33,588 --> 01:26:35,190
that he didn't want
to make partner

1575
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:36,691
just for getting you
to shut the blog down.

1576
01:26:36,691 --> 01:26:37,892
-Wh-what?
-What?

1577
01:26:37,892 --> 01:26:39,794
Oh no, no--
Oh, that's nothing.

1578
01:26:39,794 --> 01:26:42,297
-What's your thing?
-[scoffs] Why did you lie to me

1579
01:26:42,297 --> 01:26:45,266
-about sleeping with Calvin?
-I didn't sleep with Calvin.

1580
01:26:45,266 --> 01:26:46,668
[scoffs] Right, you didn't.

1581
01:26:46,668 --> 01:26:47,769
No! I didn't.

1582
01:26:47,769 --> 01:26:49,571
I-- We went on
a couple dates

1583
01:26:49,571 --> 01:26:51,839
-in law school.
-Then why didn't
you say anything?

1584
01:26:51,839 --> 01:26:53,541
Because I didn't think
you needed to know.

1585
01:26:53,541 --> 01:26:54,976
It was a long time ago,
it was nothing!

1586
01:26:54,976 --> 01:26:56,644
You know, Gena,
you're such a slut.

1587
01:26:56,644 --> 01:26:58,346
Excuse me?

1588
01:26:58,346 --> 01:26:59,881
I enjoy my life
the way it is,

1589
01:26:59,881 --> 01:27:01,482
and I don't need
to answer to you,

1590
01:27:01,482 --> 01:27:03,284
and I didn't sleep
with Calvin.

1591
01:27:03,284 --> 01:27:05,720
Why would you send me
someone you know
is so wonderful

1592
01:27:05,720 --> 01:27:07,822
you know I would
fall in love with him?

1593
01:27:07,822 --> 01:27:09,824
What, are you-are you
trying to hurt me?

1594
01:27:09,824 --> 01:27:12,493
I'm sorry.

1595
01:27:12,493 --> 01:27:13,995
I knew how wonderful
he was.

1596
01:27:13,995 --> 01:27:15,697
I knew you'd fall
in love with him.

1597
01:27:15,697 --> 01:27:17,398
I was just trying
to help.

1598
01:27:17,398 --> 01:27:20,001
Well, I guess your instincts
are about as great as mine.

1599
01:27:20,001 --> 01:27:23,538
You know, I came on
to Jacob tonight.

1600
01:27:23,538 --> 01:27:24,739
What, why?

1601
01:27:24,739 --> 01:27:27,342
It was the last challenge

1602
01:27:27,342 --> 01:27:30,878
and, God, I wanted to win,
you know?

1603
01:27:30,878 --> 01:27:33,781
And I knew he had
a crush on me

1604
01:27:33,781 --> 01:27:36,017
and I knew
he would go for it,

1605
01:27:36,017 --> 01:27:42,423
and Calvin came in at the...
oh, worst moment!

1606
01:27:43,992 --> 01:27:45,960
He's not going
to forgive me.

1607
01:27:45,960 --> 01:27:48,963
-Come here.
-[sobbing]
I messed this up so bad.

1608
01:27:48,963 --> 01:27:50,865
Come here.

1609
01:28:20,328 --> 01:28:22,063
[coughing]

1610
01:28:33,675 --> 01:28:35,510
[sighs]

1611
01:28:50,058 --> 01:28:53,428
[sighs] I'm sorry I called you
a slut, that was stupid.

1612
01:28:53,428 --> 01:28:56,597
That's all right.
It takes one to know one.

1613
01:28:58,966 --> 01:29:01,903
-[sighs]
-[doorbell rings]

1614
01:29:06,007 --> 01:29:08,609
[laughing]

1615
01:29:08,609 --> 01:29:10,945
Guess who got hitched!?

1616
01:29:10,945 --> 01:29:12,980
We wanted to call!

1617
01:29:12,980 --> 01:29:17,118
-But my heart could not wait!
-But Alejandro insisted.

1618
01:29:17,118 --> 01:29:21,622
It was a field with
a crescendo of grass
for my...

1619
01:29:21,622 --> 01:29:22,957
beloved...

1620
01:29:22,957 --> 01:29:26,794
-So, we got...
-[together] Married!

1621
01:29:26,794 --> 01:29:29,130
[laughter]

1622
01:29:29,130 --> 01:29:31,632
Mom, really?

1623
01:29:31,632 --> 01:29:35,970
-[sighs]
-Oh, no, what happened?

1624
01:29:35,970 --> 01:29:40,508
Oh, you know,
Gena and Calvin...

1625
01:29:40,508 --> 01:29:43,945
Gena, how could you?

1626
01:29:43,945 --> 01:29:48,449
Oh, it was a long time ago,
they just didn't tell me.

1627
01:29:48,449 --> 01:29:49,984
[mom] Really, Gena?
Do you have to sleep

1628
01:29:49,984 --> 01:29:54,422
-with every man in Portland?
-I did not sleep with him!

1629
01:29:54,422 --> 01:29:56,691
The thing is, you know,
I just...

1630
01:29:56,691 --> 01:29:58,659
I really love him.

1631
01:29:58,659 --> 01:30:02,730
My heart is, was, so...

1632
01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:05,767
full.

1633
01:30:05,767 --> 01:30:09,137
You know, it takes time
to adjust to the fullness.

1634
01:30:09,137 --> 01:30:11,672
He's probably really,
really hurt.

1635
01:30:11,672 --> 01:30:15,143
Yeah, but the thing is,
did you intend to hurt him?

1636
01:30:15,143 --> 01:30:18,045
-No, no.
-Would you do it again?

1637
01:30:18,045 --> 01:30:20,681
-No, never.
-So, that's fine!

1638
01:30:20,681 --> 01:30:22,583
He will forgive you.

1639
01:30:22,583 --> 01:30:25,820
That's the beautiful fantastic
thing about love.

1640
01:30:25,820 --> 01:30:26,921
You understand?

1641
01:30:26,921 --> 01:30:29,791
Yeah. Well, the thing is,

1642
01:30:29,791 --> 01:30:31,659
he's been lying to me
the whole time.

1643
01:30:31,659 --> 01:30:34,629
So... [sighs]

1644
01:30:34,629 --> 01:30:35,997
How can I trust him?

1645
01:30:35,997 --> 01:30:39,901
I have an idea.

1646
01:30:39,901 --> 01:30:42,203
Lauren,

1647
01:30:42,203 --> 01:30:44,739
you are going to
have to trust me.

1648
01:30:44,739 --> 01:30:47,742
-Oh... trust you?
-[sent text alert]

1649
01:30:47,742 --> 01:30:51,679
Yeah. You're just going to
have to do it.

1650
01:30:51,679 --> 01:30:54,482
And this, all this
needs to be cleaned up,

1651
01:30:54,482 --> 01:30:56,083
uh, Alejandro will you
move the cars outside

1652
01:30:56,083 --> 01:30:57,452
-so they can't be seen?
-Of course.

1653
01:30:57,452 --> 01:31:00,655
And Mom? Help me
close these curtains.

1654
01:31:00,655 --> 01:31:04,559
And Lauren, you just
stay here and stay quiet.

1655
01:31:04,559 --> 01:31:05,726
G, what are you up to?

1656
01:31:05,726 --> 01:31:07,962
I'm the one who started
all this.

1657
01:31:07,962 --> 01:31:11,899
Just give me a chance
to make it right, please?

1658
01:31:11,899 --> 01:31:13,801
[sighs]

1659
01:31:16,037 --> 01:31:18,039
OK, do your worst.

1660
01:31:18,039 --> 01:31:19,474
OK.

1661
01:31:22,710 --> 01:31:26,614
♪ No more fierce blue eyes ♪

1662
01:31:26,614 --> 01:31:29,984
♪ No more last goodbyes ♪

1663
01:31:29,984 --> 01:31:33,554
♪ No more patronizing ♪

1664
01:31:35,723 --> 01:31:37,859
[doorbell rings]

1665
01:31:37,859 --> 01:31:40,194
♪ No more alibis ♪

1666
01:31:40,194 --> 01:31:42,029
[knocking,
doorbell ringing rapidly]

1667
01:31:42,029 --> 01:31:44,866
♪ No more do or die ♪

1668
01:31:44,866 --> 01:31:48,636
♪ The stakes are in the skies ♪

1669
01:31:52,173 --> 01:31:54,742
Please tell me you didn't
drive over here like that?

1670
01:31:54,742 --> 01:31:57,178
Mm. I took an Uber.

1671
01:31:57,178 --> 01:31:59,046
Good boy.

1672
01:31:59,046 --> 01:32:03,150
Oh, is that what this is...
a work call?

1673
01:32:03,150 --> 01:32:05,987
Yeah, I thought
we could go over

1674
01:32:05,987 --> 01:32:07,922
the husband's testimony again,

1675
01:32:07,922 --> 01:32:10,224
you know, see if there's
anything we missed.

1676
01:32:10,224 --> 01:32:13,861
[groans] I don't feel
like working tonight, Gena.

1677
01:32:13,861 --> 01:32:15,229
[Gena]
Yeah, I can see that.

1678
01:32:15,229 --> 01:32:17,632
I'm glad
you called, though.

1679
01:32:17,632 --> 01:32:19,634
I need a place to stay.

1680
01:32:19,634 --> 01:32:22,870
Of course. You know
I'm always here for you.

1681
01:32:22,870 --> 01:32:24,739
You want to tell me
what happened?

1682
01:32:24,739 --> 01:32:27,074
You're really pretty.

1683
01:32:27,074 --> 01:32:29,977
You're drunk. Why don't you
tell me what happened?

1684
01:32:29,977 --> 01:32:32,580
[groans]

1685
01:32:32,580 --> 01:32:39,287
The competition.
The last competition.

1686
01:32:39,287 --> 01:32:43,090
Your sister thought

1687
01:32:43,090 --> 01:32:44,659
it would be a kick

1688
01:32:44,659 --> 01:32:47,662
to challenge my best friend
using herself as bait.

1689
01:32:47,662 --> 01:32:50,698
[Gena] Ouch,
that must have stung.

1690
01:32:50,698 --> 01:32:52,266
Yeah.

1691
01:32:52,266 --> 01:32:53,301
Did he go for it?

1692
01:32:53,301 --> 01:32:56,671
Yeah, he went for it.

1693
01:32:56,671 --> 01:33:00,007
[scoffs] I don't know.

1694
01:33:00,007 --> 01:33:03,678
Maybe... maybe Lauren's
right about people.

1695
01:33:03,678 --> 01:33:05,846
Did she get his underwear?

1696
01:33:05,846 --> 01:33:08,950
-What?
-Isn't that a rule?

1697
01:33:10,084 --> 01:33:12,086
Yeah,

1698
01:33:12,086 --> 01:33:14,855
but no, she...
she didn't get it.

1699
01:33:14,855 --> 01:33:16,857
-I interrupted them.
-Oh.

1700
01:33:16,857 --> 01:33:22,263
Well, then I guess, technically,
the challenge isn't over yet.

1701
01:33:22,263 --> 01:33:25,199
No, no, it's over.

1702
01:33:25,199 --> 01:33:29,003
Oh. Well, then cheers
to it being over.

1703
01:33:36,177 --> 01:33:38,813
[Calvin] Do you think
all men are pigs?

1704
01:33:38,813 --> 01:33:44,018
I think all men can be
and so can all women.

1705
01:33:44,018 --> 01:33:48,889
It's a choice we make
every day.

1706
01:33:48,889 --> 01:33:52,660
What about me?
Am I a pig?

1707
01:33:52,660 --> 01:33:58,032
I think you can be
if you choose.

1708
01:33:58,032 --> 01:34:00,635
If I choose.

1709
01:34:00,635 --> 01:34:02,937
Exactly.

1710
01:34:02,937 --> 01:34:06,774
Aww, you're hurt.

1711
01:34:08,042 --> 01:34:09,310
Mm.

1712
01:34:10,978 --> 01:34:13,648
Hey, um, you got
a glass for this?

1713
01:34:13,648 --> 01:34:15,216
I hate drinking
from the bottle.

1714
01:34:16,651 --> 01:34:17,752
[clears throat]

1715
01:34:19,020 --> 01:34:21,322
-Boo.
-Oh, hi.

1716
01:34:21,322 --> 01:34:23,791
It's really hot in here.
I don't think you need this.

1717
01:34:23,791 --> 01:34:25,726
OK.

1718
01:34:25,726 --> 01:34:27,695
You know, Cal,
there is a reason

1719
01:34:27,695 --> 01:34:29,697
you were so willing
to come over here tonight.

1720
01:34:29,697 --> 01:34:34,035
-There is?
-Yeah, you know it,
if you think about it.

1721
01:34:34,035 --> 01:34:36,804
If you're honest
with yourself.

1722
01:34:39,674 --> 01:34:41,676
You and me are like
the same person, Cal,

1723
01:34:41,676 --> 01:34:45,312
and people like Lauren,
they have strict rules

1724
01:34:45,312 --> 01:34:47,782
that control their lives,
you know.

1725
01:34:47,782 --> 01:34:51,052
They need those rules
to feel safe.

1726
01:34:52,319 --> 01:34:53,754
And people like us?

1727
01:34:53,754 --> 01:34:56,023
We don't have rules.

1728
01:34:56,023 --> 01:35:00,861
We just listen to our wants
and desires and follow them.

1729
01:35:00,861 --> 01:35:07,001
No right or wrong,
just instinct.

1730
01:35:08,836 --> 01:35:11,338
-[mumbling]
-Shh.

1731
01:35:11,338 --> 01:35:12,907
Wait what was that,
did you hear something?

1732
01:35:12,907 --> 01:35:15,309
There's a TV on upstairs.

1733
01:35:15,309 --> 01:35:17,778
Remember that summer
we spent together?

1734
01:35:17,778 --> 01:35:20,414
-Yeah.
-Remember how good that felt?

1735
01:35:20,414 --> 01:35:25,119
-Yeah.
-No strings, just instinct.

1736
01:35:26,854 --> 01:35:29,023
No one has to know.

1737
01:35:32,727 --> 01:35:34,028
Stop.

1738
01:35:35,329 --> 01:35:37,932
Stop right there.

1739
01:35:37,932 --> 01:35:40,835
This isn't happening.

1740
01:35:40,835 --> 01:35:43,137
What's not happening?

1741
01:35:43,137 --> 01:35:45,840
This! Me and you.

1742
01:35:45,840 --> 01:35:49,143
Because even if nobody knows
that you did a bad thing,

1743
01:35:49,143 --> 01:35:50,745
it's still a bad thing.

1744
01:35:50,745 --> 01:35:54,782
And this, this, Gena,
is a very, very bad thing.

1745
01:35:54,782 --> 01:35:56,751
You know,
you're wrong about me,

1746
01:35:56,751 --> 01:35:59,520
because I believe in love,
I believe in romance.

1747
01:35:59,520 --> 01:36:01,355
I believe
in the soulful chemistry

1748
01:36:01,355 --> 01:36:03,958
between two people
that just can't be explained.

1749
01:36:03,958 --> 01:36:06,527
I believe in bourbon,
you know?

1750
01:36:06,527 --> 01:36:09,997
I believe in black coffee,
strong black coffee.

1751
01:36:09,997 --> 01:36:11,966
I believe in getting
eight hours of sleep at night,

1752
01:36:11,966 --> 01:36:14,468
and doing at least one thing
to better yourself every day.

1753
01:36:14,468 --> 01:36:17,805
I believe the practice of law
is fundamentally imperfect,

1754
01:36:17,805 --> 01:36:20,374
but we do the best we can,
and sometimes we do good.

1755
01:36:20,374 --> 01:36:23,511
I believe that hook-up
websites prey on people's
fears of inadequacy,

1756
01:36:23,511 --> 01:36:25,379
novels are always better
than movies,

1757
01:36:25,379 --> 01:36:27,515
and no formula,
scientific or otherwise,

1758
01:36:27,515 --> 01:36:30,785
can determine with absolute
certainty if someone
is going to cheat or not!

1759
01:36:30,785 --> 01:36:33,821
Yes, I believe in instincts.

1760
01:36:33,821 --> 01:36:36,824
But unlike you, I know
there is right and wrong,

1761
01:36:36,824 --> 01:36:38,959
and the wrong thing here
is to indulge you

1762
01:36:38,959 --> 01:36:41,796
in whatever this is,
because, A, you're my boss now,

1763
01:36:41,796 --> 01:36:43,831
and as weirdly hot
as that might be,

1764
01:36:43,831 --> 01:36:47,001
it jeopardizes everything
I've worked for
and it's also illegal.

1765
01:36:47,001 --> 01:36:49,837
B, if it was ever going
to work out between us, Gena,

1766
01:36:49,837 --> 01:36:52,306
it already would have
a long time ago.

1767
01:36:52,306 --> 01:36:56,377
And C, because you used me
for this stupid little scheme
of yours.

1768
01:36:56,377 --> 01:36:58,946
I met Lauren.

1769
01:37:00,080 --> 01:37:02,082
I love her.

1770
01:37:03,450 --> 01:37:05,553
OK?

1771
01:37:05,553 --> 01:37:07,588
I love her.

1772
01:37:07,588 --> 01:37:09,390
She's everything I want
in a partner.

1773
01:37:09,390 --> 01:37:12,092
She's beautiful, she's smart,
she's quirky...

1774
01:37:12,092 --> 01:37:15,129
Yes, she's stubborn,
but that's because
she knows what she wants.

1775
01:37:15,129 --> 01:37:18,365
At least, she thinks she does,
and I think that's adorable.

1776
01:37:18,365 --> 01:37:21,368
She loves pizza and hiking
and sleeping in on Sunday.

1777
01:37:21,368 --> 01:37:23,504
Her interests are just different
enough from mine

1778
01:37:23,504 --> 01:37:26,140
that we'll always be able
to show each other new things.

1779
01:37:26,140 --> 01:37:30,044
And I get butterflies when
I know I'm about to see her.

1780
01:37:30,044 --> 01:37:33,047
And no, she's not perfect.

1781
01:37:33,047 --> 01:37:36,917
But she's perfect for me.

1782
01:37:36,917 --> 01:37:40,354
And I don't care
what I have to do
or how long it takes.

1783
01:37:40,354 --> 01:37:42,556
I'm going to prove it
to her.

1784
01:37:42,556 --> 01:37:45,025
You just did.

1785
01:37:45,025 --> 01:37:48,262
Congratulations, Cal,
you were the last challenger.

1786
01:37:48,262 --> 01:37:51,498
You had to be, and you won.

1787
01:37:54,335 --> 01:37:56,170
Lauren, hi.

1788
01:37:57,605 --> 01:37:59,206
You love me?

1789
01:37:59,206 --> 01:38:01,609
With everything I got.

1790
01:38:01,609 --> 01:38:03,978
[sighs]

1791
01:38:03,978 --> 01:38:05,646
I love you, too.

1792
01:38:08,549 --> 01:38:12,086
-OK... OK.
-[chuckles]

1793
01:38:12,086 --> 01:38:15,990
So, what do you say
we put all this behind us
and start again, huh?

1794
01:38:15,990 --> 01:38:18,259
No expiration date.

1795
01:38:18,259 --> 01:38:19,960
[sighs]

1796
01:38:23,163 --> 01:38:25,299
-[bottle pops open]
-To love!

1797
01:38:25,299 --> 01:38:28,369
laughter]

1798
01:38:28,369 --> 01:38:31,038
-He is very excitable.
-He is.

1799
01:38:31,038 --> 01:38:32,940
[laughter]

1800
01:38:42,349 --> 01:38:47,254
♪ I can't see
the forest, is it green? ♪

1801
01:38:47,254 --> 01:38:50,090
♪ Is the ocean blue? ♪

1802
01:38:50,090 --> 01:38:51,959
♪ I can't see the sky ♪

1803
01:38:51,959 --> 01:38:54,561
♪ Is it orange cream? ♪

1804
01:38:54,561 --> 01:38:57,698
♪ All I can see is you ♪

1805
01:38:57,698 --> 01:39:00,334
♪ La da da di da da ♪

1806
01:39:00,334 --> 01:39:02,236
-Hi.
-Hi, I just,

1807
01:39:02,236 --> 01:39:04,004
I love the new direction
of your blog.

1808
01:39:04,004 --> 01:39:07,207
It's so inspiring,
the book is amazing.

1809
01:39:07,207 --> 01:39:10,611
Life is tough,
but love is stronger.

1810
01:39:10,611 --> 01:39:12,680
-A-men.
-[chuckles]

1811
01:39:14,214 --> 01:39:15,549
Thank you.

1812
01:39:15,549 --> 01:39:18,218
It's so great,
and I love your new vision.

1813
01:39:18,218 --> 01:39:20,254
I really love
being a White Knight.

1814
01:39:20,254 --> 01:39:23,590
[chuckles] Yeah.
It's more of an expanded
thought, really, but...

1815
01:39:25,025 --> 01:39:26,727
Never mind.

1816
01:39:26,727 --> 01:39:30,030
-I'm glad you like it, thanks.
-Thank you.

1817
01:39:30,030 --> 01:39:32,733
Hey. Do we have a few more
of those back there?

1818
01:39:32,733 --> 01:39:34,468
Because they are going fast.
Great.

1819
01:39:38,005 --> 01:39:39,206
Hello there!

1820
01:39:39,206 --> 01:39:41,008
Don't tell me
you two read the blog,

1821
01:39:41,008 --> 01:39:44,578
because that makes no sense.
Oh... [laughs] Mom does.

1822
01:39:44,578 --> 01:39:46,113
Hi, Mom!

1823
01:39:46,113 --> 01:39:48,082
♪ La da da di da da ♪

1824
01:39:48,082 --> 01:39:49,984
♪ La da da di da ♪

1825
01:39:49,984 --> 01:39:52,519
OK, you ready?

1826
01:39:54,455 --> 01:39:56,023
Let's do this!

1827
01:40:01,028 --> 01:40:02,029
[chuckles]

1828
01:40:03,130 --> 01:40:06,066
["Joyride" plays]

1829
01:40:16,610 --> 01:40:20,714
♪ You never thought
you'd ever move to ♪

1830
01:40:20,714 --> 01:40:23,584
♪ Another place in time ♪

1831
01:40:23,584 --> 01:40:27,554
♪ If your world's
a million colors ♪

1832
01:40:27,554 --> 01:40:30,290
♪ Not so black and white ♪

1833
01:40:30,290 --> 01:40:34,028
♪ You want a road
that takes you higher ♪

1834
01:40:34,028 --> 01:40:36,764
♪ Your soul has never
been so bright ♪

1835
01:40:36,764 --> 01:40:41,468
♪ Green eyes, suitcase,
city lights ♪

1836
01:40:41,468 --> 01:40:43,737
♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪

1837
01:40:43,737 --> 01:40:45,539
♪ Joyride ♪

1838
01:40:45,539 --> 01:40:48,509
♪ Take you to the place
you've never been ♪

1839
01:40:48,509 --> 01:40:50,611
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪

1840
01:40:50,611 --> 01:40:52,279
♪ One ride ♪

1841
01:40:52,279 --> 01:40:55,349
♪ Tell you
that'll be just fine ♪

1842
01:40:55,349 --> 01:40:57,251
♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪

1843
01:40:57,251 --> 01:40:59,053
♪ Joyride ♪

1844
01:40:59,053 --> 01:41:02,256
♪ Take you to the place
you've never seen ♪

1845
01:41:02,256 --> 01:41:04,324
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪

1846
01:41:04,324 --> 01:41:05,726
♪ One ride ♪

1847
01:41:05,726 --> 01:41:09,496
♪ Tell you that'll be
just fine ♪

1848
01:41:09,496 --> 01:41:12,599
♪ You step out
into the ocean ♪

1849
01:41:12,599 --> 01:41:16,203
♪ And feel the summer breeze ♪

1850
01:41:16,203 --> 01:41:19,373
♪ You hold
your part right open ♪

1851
01:41:19,373 --> 01:41:23,277
♪ And raise your company ♪

1852
01:41:23,277 --> 01:41:26,547
♪ A little lust
A little trust ♪

1853
01:41:26,547 --> 01:41:30,250
♪ You know that everything
is gonna be all right ♪

1854
01:41:30,250 --> 01:41:32,853
♪ A little lust
A little trust ♪

1855
01:41:32,853 --> 01:41:34,421
♪ Just enough ♪

1856
01:41:34,421 --> 01:41:35,756
♪ Just enough
to make you mine ♪

1857
01:41:35,756 --> 01:41:39,293
♪ Joyride ♪

1858
01:41:39,293 --> 01:41:41,528
♪ Take you to the place
you've never been ♪

1859
01:41:41,528 --> 01:41:44,364
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪

1860
01:41:44,364 --> 01:41:45,732
♪ One ride ♪

1861
01:41:45,732 --> 01:41:48,435
♪ Tell you it'll be
just fine ♪

1862
01:41:48,435 --> 01:41:50,337
♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪

1863
01:41:50,337 --> 01:41:52,139
♪ Joyride ♪

1864
01:41:52,139 --> 01:41:55,175
♪ Take you to the place
you've never seen ♪

1865
01:41:55,175 --> 01:41:57,478
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪

1866
01:41:57,478 --> 01:41:58,879
♪ One ride ♪

1867
01:41:58,879 --> 01:42:02,549
♪ Tell you that'll be
just fine ♪

1868
01:42:02,549 --> 01:42:05,285
[vocalizing]

1869
01:42:15,662 --> 01:42:17,698
♪ I see you ♪

1870
01:42:17,698 --> 01:42:20,834
♪ Standing in the ocean ♪

1871
01:42:20,834 --> 01:42:24,371
♪ Just beneath the harbor ♪

1872
01:42:24,371 --> 01:42:29,343
♪ Holding on to your... ♪

1873
01:42:31,778 --> 01:42:35,182
♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪

1874
01:42:35,182 --> 01:42:38,385
♪ Take you to the place
you've never been ♪

1875
01:42:38,385 --> 01:42:40,687
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪

1876
01:42:40,687 --> 01:42:42,289
♪ One ride ♪

1877
01:42:42,289 --> 01:42:45,159
♪ Tell you it'll be
just fine ♪

1878
01:42:45,159 --> 01:42:46,660
♪ It's gonna be a joyride ♪

1879
01:42:46,660 --> 01:42:48,462
♪ Joyride ♪

1880
01:42:48,462 --> 01:42:51,665
♪ Take you to the place
you've never seen ♪

1881
01:42:51,665 --> 01:42:53,400
♪ It's gonna be one ride ♪

1882
01:42:53,400 --> 01:42:54,868
♪ One ride ♪

1883
01:42:54,868 --> 01:42:58,805
♪ Tell you
that'll be just fine ♪

1884
01:42:58,805 --> 01:43:03,443
♪ My heart aches for you ♪

1885
01:43:03,443 --> 01:43:05,946
♪ And only ♪

1886
01:43:05,946 --> 01:43:10,250
♪ My heart aches for you ♪

1887
01:43:10,250 --> 01:43:13,187
♪ And only ♪