I'll Make You Laugh

I get a guffaw or two several times a day
Just from that age-old chicken quandary
What can I say?
I'll make them laugh

I'll make you smell a spritzing flower
Tell you fake headlines about mattresses gaining power
Anything that I do you'll find humor in
I'll make you laugh

They say that power brings limits
But I can't attempt to obey
I've got control over people's sense of humor
And by some relation, their free will as well

I greet a meter maid or two, try to pick up a few
They all laugh in my face, that's what I want them to do
Although I may regret it soon
I'll make them laugh

Doof (spoken): Hey, you! What's two times two?
Man (spoken): *laughs* YOU........ *laugh* INEXPLICABLY....... *laugh* HILARIOUS *bursts into fit of laughter*
Doof (spoken): Erm..... I would've taken "I don't know", but, y'know, that works too.... Anyways, it's fore.
*Doof pulls out a golf club and hits man with it*
Man (spoken, while laughing): I think I'm bleeding.
Doof (spoken): But I'm funny, right?
Man (spoken, while laughing): Somebody please call an ambulance
Doof (spoken): Oh, quiet, you.

No sorrow for a real long time
Just can't commend it
So if science can't cure depressedness
Well, at least it can prevent it

When your uncle dies, you'll be too enraged in laughter to care
It's not totally evil, in a way, I swear
When terrorists appear,
I'll make them laugh

Doof (spoken): Okay, so what's the capital of Russia?
Woman (spoken, while laughing): I'm not sure
Doof (spoken): Moscow!
*Doof shows a picture of a cow covered in moss*
Woman (spoken, while laughing): I don't get it.

Doof (spoken): TAP SOLO!
*a lot of tapdancing ensues*

My humor is everlasting
And never, ever profane
I trust you will find humor
Because that's in my -inator's name

80s guy sits alone in parks
Listening to Robin Williams and Groucho Marx
While their humor may fade, mine won't lose its spark
I'm the real king of comedy
I'll make you laugh

That's right, I'm the king
Number one
I spread humor like wildfire and before I'm done
I'll rule these states
All three of them
Your laughter will hinder
Your objections
One thing is surely guaranteed
While dying of laughter, you'll bow down to me
That's such a feel-good, groovy thing

I'll make you laugh
I'll make you laugh