Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
gimme  a sec, yeah?
Clef - 11/02/2017
Take as long as you need, dude.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
sorry, had to kill a boss
Clef - 11/02/2017
it's cool. I had to get a pizza out of the oven anyway, so it works out.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
aight. so what do you wanna know?
Clef - 11/02/2017
how'd it start between you two? it seems like we have some similarities with how this stuff all happened.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
she got invited to our server, found me interesting and the next thing we knew she fell in love and we started being together
Clef - 11/02/2017
huh. so it was all pretty sudden then, eh?
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
very yeah
things were pretty well for a bit
then, she started having problems with balancing her irl friends and me
and she would come home and just kinda sit for an hour or more by herself
she wouldnt want to do anything with me and we slowly stopped doing things together
rarely talked, etc
Clef - 11/02/2017
this sounds really familiar to me. she's always really stubborn about trying anything new, especially if you suggest it, right?
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yep yep
thats just how she is
Clef - 11/02/2017
she really hasn't changed one bit.
well, if it helps you any, I can really sympathize with what you're going through right now
she broke up with me back in january, right after I got back from a funeral.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
it got pretty bad to where I had to call a hotline the other night and I felt like walking away to get from it all and just move on
but she kept pushing me away and pulling me back in saying shes sorry its all her fault etc
which it wasnt
it was both of our faults
and so I just had enough and said goodbye last night/this morning and told her I need time away from her to move on
Clef - 11/02/2017
mhm. don't blame yourself too much, and don't be hard on yourself. you wanted to make it work, right? she never would've put the effort into any relationship to try and make it work.
also, one bit of advice, if she starts crying and asking to be your friend again, tell her off.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
hey now
I dont hate her or anything
nor do I want to make things worse
if she wants to be friends, I'll listen to her and tell her what I think, but I wont tell her off
Clef - 11/02/2017
Sorry If I came off like a prick with that statement, I just got burned by her when she did that to me back in april.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yeah, I understand. But I think that's the difference between our situations
she broke up with you and I broke up with her
and I have no negative feelings towards other
*her
Clef - 11/02/2017
ah.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
dont get me wrong
i u nderstand how you feel and dont blame you for being upset about all of this
or rather, all of what happened
she would always talk about how, in some ways, we're similar too
Clef - 11/02/2017
when looks was telling me about what had happened I had bet you were going through something pretty similar. Still though, sorry for what you're going through right now.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
eh, its alright. long distance relationships never work out too well
especially when youre hella pessimistic
about everything
but I feel more
uh
indifferent I guess?
I'm used to  being hurt like this so
Clef - 11/02/2017
still though, it's tough to lose someone.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yeah tell me about it
I broke down that night
Clef - 11/02/2017
when did the breakup happen?
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
uhhhhh
halloween
Clef - 11/02/2017
ah. not very long ago. sorry that happened.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
I get that you're sympathising
but you dont need to apologise
Clef - 11/02/2017
yeah. just hard to think of something to say when it comes to this.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
its alright
I'm doing a lot better than I was
plus the one thing I said more than "I love you" was "I'm sorry"
Clef - 11/02/2017
damn.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yep yep
but its whatever dude
people come and go like seasons
Clef - 11/02/2017
that's true. sad it's that way, though.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yeah
Clef - 11/02/2017
damn, though. I'm just not really sure what to say.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
do me a solid
dont say anything yeah?
Clef - 11/02/2017
sure.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
its just easier that way
I didnt mean to be rude
Clef - 11/02/2017
nah, I get it.
just need someone to listen a little, yeah?
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yeah man
had I known she didnt change since you...
maybe things wouldve ended differently had I known the signs to look out for
Clef - 11/02/2017
i know the feeling. sad as it may be to say this, but she was the first person I had ever really “dated”. i had no idea what was a red flag or just a flag, the rose tinted glasses worked the same as blinders.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
might as well have yeah
I knew there were some things that threw me off but I disregarded it because I thought it would just get better
Clef - 11/02/2017
yep. the stubbornness she showed was definitely one of them.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
I tried to help her to better herself and she said it was too much work
and I'm like wtf how
you either want to be a better person or you dont
Clef - 11/02/2017
wow. she really hasn’t changed a single god damn iota then.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
I thought it was just bewcause she was still young but
it just got annoying after a while
and I started having doubts about the relationship and wanting to break up long before this
like maybe 2 months ago
keep in mind we were "dating" for 4 months
I at least wanted to get to her birthday
Clef - 11/02/2017
did you ever try to have an intervention about all of it only to have her flip out, say she was a bad girlfriend, and then later blame you for it being bad?
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
no
she never blamed me
Clef - 11/02/2017
huh.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
mostly because I was always the one to blame myself
Clef - 11/02/2017
it wasn't much different with me. up until the bitter end I was still trying to fix whatever I thought was wrong with me, left me in a weird state of denial after we broke up.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
hm
Clef - 11/02/2017
especially because we broke up and got back together once. made things a bit strange. "she never really changes, i've seen that first hand. maybe this hasn't changed either?" which is why I made sure to state that if she tries to come back, just don't.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
I get it
initally after we broke up I thought we could get back together and make it work but after a day or so I realised it would just end up the same if we did
Clef - 11/02/2017
mhm.
took me a bit longer to realize that. said some stupid shit which only made things worse.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yep
I felt like everytime I typed it made things worse
so i just stopped
Clef - 11/02/2017
it got to a point back in febuary where i'd dread ever getting a message from her.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yeah but you can't think like that
cant despise someone or think ill of someone because of what happened
Clef - 11/02/2017
you're right with that.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
cause if you think like that, it'll lead to hatred
and when you hate someone, you say and think things that you'd regret
Clef - 11/02/2017
yep. for a while I fell into that mindset, something which I really regret. never said anything to her directly, thank god.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
you never know how someone will react to what you say, yknow?
speaking of which, how old are you btw?
Clef - 11/02/2017
17. I'll be 18 in march.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
hmm
were you her first boyfriend?
I can't remember
Clef - 11/02/2017
I'm not sure. Don't think so. She was the first girlfriend I've ever had, though.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
I see
Clef - 11/02/2017
you?
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
I'll be 20 next year
Clef - 11/02/2017
damn. quite a bit older.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
which is funny to think about because we always talked about the age difference
she said it was fine but deep down it bothered me because if anything happened, and I mean anything, I co uld go to jail lol
Clef - 11/02/2017
yeah. that'd worry me too. in arkansas we have romeo and juliet laws, so I wasn't really ever worried about that.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
the legal age here, in georgia, is 16, and at the time she was 15
so I was very cautious
Clef - 11/02/2017
understandable.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
it's crazy to think that people just don't ch ange
situations do
Clef - 11/02/2017
I just wonder how many times she's "started anew" with groups of people.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
I dunno
Clef - 11/02/2017
she left the group I was a part of a while ago, think she's done it a few times before that too.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
funny enough she's left the server I'm in tonight too
Clef - 11/02/2017
hah.
it'll be a miracle if she ever changes, honestly.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
I just hope she'll be okay
I dont wish her any ill-intent
Clef - 11/02/2017
knowing her, she'll be fine.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
and now I'm more concerned for the next guy
I told her to make sure the next guy is better than me and you trreat him well
Clef - 11/02/2017
I remember back in may one of my friends told me she had a crush on you, and honest to god, I thought to myself: "shit, I should probably warn the guy"
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
haha
Clef - 11/02/2017
really though, I wasn't ever supposed to know, so I never acted on it
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yeah
wait
i think someone told me about that
was it dinges ?
Clef - 11/02/2017
yeah, it was dinges.
admittedly, I flipped out on him, it hurt to hear that kinda stuff.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
that she'd moved on?
Clef - 11/02/2017
I guess. It was stupid and selfish of me, but yeah.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
its alright man
thats just how emotions are
thats just how humans are
Clef - 11/02/2017
It wasn't really long after she came back in april saying "let's be best friends again, yaaay"
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
interesting
I like to give people the benefit of the doubt so I'll just say that it's cause she's young and doesn't know what she wants or how to feel
Clef - 11/02/2017
that's what I thought too.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
innocent until proven guilty, brother
Clef - 11/02/2017
mhm.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
also, just a word of advice, dont bash older people when they give you words of wisdom
Clef - 11/02/2017
I certainly don't try to do that.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
trust me, those words they tell you go a long way
shit I feel like I'm in my 30's from all the things I've been told
Clef - 11/02/2017
ha.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
you alright?
Clef - 11/02/2017
yeah, i'm fine. i've got a whole host of new issues to deal with. my current girlfriend has a crazy clingy ex.
which she's dealing with currently.
as in exactly right now.
hopefully I don't seem like a jerk right now
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
nah man it's alright
Clef - 11/02/2017
funny enough, the crazy ex is also the same guy who gave me your discord contact, so.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
spotted?
Clef - 11/02/2017
nah, looks. i'm dating spotted.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yeah tahts what I meant
Clef - 11/02/2017
oh.
then yeah.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
how's that coming
Clef - 11/02/2017
going pretty well so far. just seems like whenever me and her have a good day looks comes around to ruin it.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
have you talked to him directly?
Clef - 11/02/2017
not really. wouldn't do him much good. he won't listen to anyone but spotted at this point.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
geez
Clef - 11/02/2017
it's not fun.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
I can imagine
just block him
both of you
Clef - 11/02/2017
I've tried to get her to do that, and everyone else has told her to just block him too. she just can't bring herself to do that because "I can't just do that to him" and it doesn't help that he's threatened suicide a few times.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
I have low tolerance for shit like this
I'm very crude and say what's on my mind
and I usually act on impulse unless I know better
Clef - 11/02/2017
oohhh believe me. It's not that I haven't said anything to him either. I full on snapped at him one day after I had to comfort spotted because he made her cry.
I have a temper, and I'm somewhat impulsive, I had no compunctions about yelling at him.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
hmm
Clef - 11/02/2017
anyway. I feel like I derailed the conversation with looks, didn't really mean to do that.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
nah dude it's fine
Clef - 11/02/2017
it's funny though, spotted also never had any good experiences with clover.
back in the day, clover actually used to bully her a little.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
Yeah she told me about that
Clef - 11/02/2017
I really never understood why clover hated spotted so much back then.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
neither do/did I
I dont really want to talk about clover anymore so if there's anything else you wanna know/say, tell me
Clef - 11/02/2017
Nah, it's cool. I've not got anything to say that I haven't already.
It's been good to finally talk to you.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yeah man, you too
she kinda gave you shit when we were together
and now I see both sides
Clef - 11/02/2017
thought so.
I made plenty of mistakes back then, still wish I could apologize some days.
Bit late for that now, though.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
mhmm
but oh well
cant live life regretting everything
Clef - 11/02/2017
mhm. all you can really do is learn from your mistakes.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yep yep
Clef - 11/02/2017
and i've learned from every mistake I've made with her.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
that's good
surprised she didnt unfriend me though
Clef - 11/02/2017
she didn't unfriend me either.
I had to remove her a long time after.
I think she does it to keep her options open in case she wants to come back later
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
yeah
we'll see
well, more like I'll see b ut
Clef - 11/02/2017
just take my advice, if she does come back, don't give her what she wants.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
We'll see
Clef - 11/02/2017
mhm.
well, there's not much to say at this point. so I guess i'll seeya some other time.
Chris | Sfynx - 11/02/2017
sounds good man, take care of spotted as well as yourself
Clef - 11/02/2017
thanks.
you too, though.