Anatomy Lessons 2: Discovering Immortality (in progress)

“You sure you want to do this, Twilight?”
>Twilight Sparkle, immortal alicorn Princess of Friendship, nods solemnly as you walk to the map room, to await the rest of the girls coming
>”I have to tell them, Spike. Friends don’t keep secrets this big from each other. It would be…wrong. Even if it is weird and uncomfortable”
“Hah, yeah…”
>You avert your eyes for a moment and scratch your head.
>You don’t think she caught on to what you did, but you still feel super guilty about it
>You try to act casual
“I guess I see what you mean, though. I’d be annoyed if someone had kept the fact that they’re indestructible a secret.”
>”Technically speaking I’m not indestructible, Spike.”
“Oh, sure.” You say. Classic Twilight, always so pedantic about words and stuff
>You can see that you’ve got her thinking now In fact I’m very destructible. Taking me apart was pretty easy,really. Maybe that’s a trade-off? We should do more research on that.”
>You think about that last thing she said.
“Uh, wouldn’t you need to see how easily it is to cut a normal, non-immortal pony apart?”
>”Oh, that’s true actually. I’m sure there’s a book about that I can read.”
>You think you’ll give that one a miss
“When will they be here then?”
>”Should be sometime soon. Unless they all get caught up in something. But I’m sure there’ll be no problems…”
>Be Scootaloo, way way out in a field out of town
>And you’re about to witness the most awesome stunt in Pegasus history
>Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had been working on a “super duper top ultra double-mega secret” project
>And now, because you’re her number one fan, Rainbow has revealed it to you
>It’s an obstacle course
>No, it’s THE obstacle course
>Flaming hoops
>Spinning blades
>Crushers
>Spikes
>Catapults
>If it’s deadly, it’s here
>Well, there’s no animals
>Rainbow told you she wanted a manticore in there somehow, but couldn’t figure out how to get one in it
>She’s still pretty sure that this is the most dangerous, most deadly and most coolest stunt course ever devised
>And now she’s going for a test run before she shows it off to everypony tomorrow
>Why? Because awesome ponies do awesome things, and this was the very definition of the word
>She’s at the start,waiting for you to say when
>If it was anypony else-literally anypony-you would be terrified
>It would be certain death, surely
>But this is Rainbow Dash. And she’s convinced she can do it
>Well, she did say that her “original” design was just a couple of flaming loops
>”But, you know how Pinkie is. She just kept adding, and adding, and adding…”
>”And I don’t back down from anything. Why would I?”
>”I’m THE Rainbow Dash! So what if there’s a giant rotating deathblade at the end? I…I can take it!”
>She’s so brave
>You see her look towards you
>You give her the signal
>And she’s off
>Through the flaming loops like a very colourful arrow
>Ducking and weaving through the moving pendulum blades
>You gasp as she just narrowly avoids being flattened by the industrial presser
>She’s doing it!
“Go, Rainbow, Go!” you chant, waving your hooves in the air
>The blue Pegasus avoids the rocks thrown by the catapults like it’s filly’s play
>Then races through a tunnel of spikes and blades
>You hold your breath for what seems like an eternity, waiting for her to emerge
>You almost burst when she does, looking no worse for wear
>She’s coming up to the end, and the most dangerous obstacle
>The rotating blades spinning in a giant circle, held up by a pole
>It’s basically a giant fan
>She’s zooming towards it full speed
>Her timing has to be perfect
>Your heart is racing, beating against your chest
>You’re not sure if you can watch
>She’s almost there…
>…
>She goes right through it
>She’s done it!
>You holler and whoop, adrenaline coursing through you as she flies towards your seated position to the side
>She lands by you, smirking
>”How was that, kid?” she aks
“AWESOME!” you shout
>”That’s right! Gimme a hoof!”
>She raises her hoof up, and you jump up and slap it with your own
>And then she falls apart
>One moment shes standing there, hoof raised in triumph
>Then in a blink, she’s in pieces
>Her severed hoof flops down and rolls towards you
>You stare at it, and then at the pile of Rainbow Dash in front of you
>She’s basically a series of blue and red cubes now
>With the occasionally bone white thrown in, with some other colours
>You’re pretty sure the pink bits are her brain, for example.
>Oh, and you can see a square that seems to have her filly parts on it, right next to an unidentifiable reddy-brown cube
>Still in shock, you move a hoof towards
>Then you see an eye lying near the top of the pile
>It blinks, then looks up at you
>You look down at it
>Your peripheral vision notices the other eyecube moving to look at you from the bottom left of the pile
>It also blinks
>Which means she’s still…ok?
>Maybe she can still hear you
>You take a deep breath and dig through the pile until you find an ear
>It's still very warm, and you feel all sorts of weird textures
>Some gooey, some spongey, some hard...
>You try not to think about all of this too much.
>You find an ear, eventually, and shout into it
>”HELLO RAINBOW. I AM GOING TO TAKE YOU TO TWILIGHT AFTER I FIND SOMETHING TO PUT YOU ALL IN. DON’T GO ANYWHERE”
>You don’t know if she heard you or not, but that’s all you can do for now
>You find your scooter
>Time to find a bucket

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>You are Fido, the Diamond Dog
>And you've got an axe to grind
>Because you've got an axe, you see
>And a very annoying pony to grind it against
>"Darling, let's not do anything we may regret in the future..." she says
>You're on the edge of the pony town
>She was carrying some gems back from somewhere when you found her
>The other dogs always said they'd love to get their revenge
>Well now you were gonna get it alright
>Even now she was acting all high and mighty
>"Tell you what, I'll give you...a third of the gems I found today, hmm? Sound good, er...Fluffy?"
"IT'S FIDO!"
>You bring the axe down as she's raising her offer to 40%
>It cleaves her head clean in two, right down the middle
>Both sides flop around when you raise your axe again
>You keep hacking away until the cut goes down to her chest
>Her organs start to spill onto the floor as you continue to cut her in two
>Eventually her two halfs fall to the ground
>Her left side faces up, and her right side is face down, exposing her innards and bones like it's an anatomy model
>You stand over her, panting, with the bloody axe in your hand
>Serves her right, stupid pony
>You turn to leave
>"Ok, so you...want half then?" said a voie
>"Ok, so you want half then?" said another, identical voice at the same time
>Wat
>You turn around
"Who's there?" you shout, looking around
>"Down here, darling"
>"Down here, darling"
>You look down
>Rarity's left side looks up at you
>"Pretty please?" it says
>"Pretty please?" mimcs her right
>You drop the axe in shock
>Oh no
>There's two of them now
>They both start to move, trying to stand up
>Both sides look at you
>"Don't make us whine at you"
>"Don't make us whine at you"
>You run off
>You never want to see a pony ever again
>Rarity sighs in stereo as you go, wondering how she's going to get back

>You are Derpy
>Well, that's what every calls you, because it sounds funny, and everyone says you're funny!
>Haha!
>You've got some mail for the Princess's friends. Must be important! You wonder what adventures they're about to get into now
>You've delivered letters to the homes of Rarity, Pinkie and your good friend Rainbow Dash
>You don't hang out much, but she always tells you how you're a friend. She's a nice pony. She wasn't in when you posted your letter though
>She must be having fun somewhere else!
>You're on your way to the Apple farm now
>You look down from the sky
>Oh, there they are! They're raising a new barn!
>You helped them once. It fell down and you cried but she gave you a pie and said she ain't mad, and she never been mad, and that she wanted you to know that
>She was a nice pony
>You spot Applejack on the highest beam, talking to her brother
>He nods his head and walks back towards the main house. Maybe he forgot something
>There was lots of big important building things scattered around
>It looked dangerous but Applejack didn't seem scared
>You should go say hi!
>You fly down, her letter already in your mouth
>She doesn't see you coming
>You land behind her and tap her butt with your hoof
"Hi, Applejack!"
>"WHAT THE-"
>Oops! She fell off the barn
>Silly pony!
>Oh, did you do that?
>Oh, you did it again
>You hope she isn't mad at you
>You look down and see her lying down
>Did she spill something? There's red and pink all over the place
>Like the pile of wood next to her, where her hat now is
>You fly down next to her
"Sorry, Applejack, are you ok?"
>She doesn't respond straight away
>First she stands up, slowly, and shakily
>Then turns around
>Applejack stares blankly at you, drooling
>The top of her head is missing, like an egg that's been cracked open
>Most of her brain is also gone
>The remaining grey matter is sloshing around like bad jelly
>She tilts her head, and most of the remaining brain slops out onto the grass
>"App...les..." says Applejack
>You take all of this in
>And gasp, in shock
>Her eyes...
>They're like yours!
>You giggle, and sigh with relief
>You thought she was hurt, but if she's just feeling like you do, she must be very happy!
>Because you're always happy!
"Well, I have a letter for you!"
>"Apples....Ap...Apples" she says, in a slow monotone
>You offer the letter to you
>She doesn't seem to notice
>Shrugging, you pop it into her now empty head
>"Apples..." she says
"Well, I'll leave you to your barn! It looks great!"
>"..."
"..."
>"...Apples"
"Yeah, see you around too!" you say
>You fly off
>You wave to her brother as you go. He has a big ladder with him
>He waves to you, then sees Applejack, and sprints toward her
>Must be eager to build that barn!
>One more letter and then your shift is done! Over to Fluttershy's cottage you go
>She's a nice pony...
>You reach Fluttershy's cottage
>Putting the letter in the letterbox, you wonder how she's getting on
>She was always such a quiet pony
>You knock on the door
>There's no reply
>Hmm, maybe she's out
>You knock again anyway
>You can hear animal noises
>And other, weirder noises
>Like loud chewing
>Oh, maybe she's having dinner! With her animals!
>Or maybe...
>You shudder
>Maybe they're having Fluttershy for dinner!
>You spring to the window and look in
>Yikes! That's actually exactly what's happening
>You can see the yellow mare's form sprawled on the floor, with various animals over her
>Nothing out of the ordinary, but one had her intestines in his mouth
>And one was chewing on a limb like a toy
>You can't believe it
>For once, your overactive imagination was correct! Who's crazy now, doctor?!
>You dive through the window, glass shattering
>It hurts, but you're a brave mare
"I object!" you shout
>The animals all jump, then stare at you hungrily
"Get back, or I'll do karate at you! Hiya!"
>You start karateing at them, or rather, towards them
>They're too intimated to move, you're sure
>"Umm...what are you doing?"
>You look down at Fluttershy, who is sitting up now, entrails still in the jaw of a nearby wolf
>"Did you...break my window? That wasn't very nice..."
"But, you're in danger! You're hurt!" you protest
>She looks down at her wounds
>"Oh, right, well, it's funny, I was cutting some food up for the animals when I cut myself, but it didn't hurt, which was strange, and when they saw the blood, Mr Paws couldn't help myself and...well..."
>She gestures with a stump to the wolf with her leg in his jaws
>He looks bashful, but chews it anyway
>"Anyway, it still didn't hurt or anything, and well, one thing led to another and..."
>She trails off a little, as more of her guts are drawn out
>"...I guess I fed myself to them. But it's ok, I feel fine! I think maybe Twilight would-"
"Oh, you have a letter from Princess Twilight, actually!"
>You trot out and go to retrieve the letter
>Oh you hate these darn letterboxes
>You fiddle with it as the animals inside grow louder
>There's a commotion and Fluttershy yelps
>You finally get the thing out and turn around
>Fluttershy's head rolls out he open door, coming to a stop at your hoof
>"Oh my, they really do like how I taste. It's very, um...flattering..."
>She blushes
>You drop the letter on her face
"My shift is done!" you announce happily.
"I'm away to get food. Bye bye, Fluttershy!"
>"Wait, wait a moment!" squeels Fluttershy.
>"If it's not too much trouble, could you maybe take me to Twilight's castle? I bet she knows what's going on. And if you leave me here, the animals might, well, crack my skull open and eat my brains."
>To illustrate her point, some bones fly out of the door, rattling spookily.
>She looks up at you pleadingly
>You agree to help her, and stuff her head in your empty mailbag
>She says something but you can't hear her very well
>Well, one last delivery, on the house for a good friend!
>You fly away as a bear enters the cottage.
>Twilight was a nice pony. She's always happy to see you