Endurance Reader: Finish "In Search of Lost Time".

Second Best: Read two Palahniuk novels and think the second one was much worse than the first.

The Grand: Finish a book that is over 1000 pages long.

The Collector: Have at least 5 books in your library that are over 200 years old.

Speeding Ticket: Read War & Peace in less than a month.

An Apple a Week..: Read 52 books in a single calendar year.

Classical Scholar: Read Poetics and The Birth of Tragedy as well as at least two plays by each of the following playwrights: Aeschylus,

Aristophanes, Euripides, Sophocles.

Masochist: read any Joyce book without using notes.

Fanatic: Read more than 200 pages of correspondence written by an author.

Zealot: Read the entire oeuvre of an author who has published more than three novels.

Under the Bell Jar: Read five books written by female authors.

High Seas: Read Heart of Darkness, Moby-Dick, and Robinson Crusoe.

Austenite: Read at least three Jane Austens and realize by the end of the third that they're all the same book.

Fantastic Fetishes: Fap to the "arse full of farts" Joyce letter.

Small Steps: Read 100 short stories.

On the Marquis Tip: Read 120 Days of Sodom without masturbating.

Armchair Philosopher: Read at least one each of Plato, Aristotle, Kant, and Hobbes.

Nobel Whore: Read at least one book by every Nobel Prize in Literature winner.

Religious Zealotry: Read the Bible, the Qur'an, the Bhagavad Gita, and one text each of Taoism, Confucianism, Tibetan Buddhism, Mahayana Buddhism, and Zen Buddhism.

The Analytic Tradition: Read at least one book by the following: Hume, Russell, Frege, Ayer, Wittgenstein, Chalmers, Dennet, Quine, Kripke, and Searle.

Paris PoMo: Read at least one book by each of the following authors:

Lacan, Foucault, Derrida, Baudrillard, and Deleuze.

Sit Tight: Pay more than $1000 for a reading armchair.

Globe Trotter: read a book by an author from every country.

Is This All They'll Publish These Days?: Read 3 books in a row that involve childhood sexual abuse.

Doctorat in Revisionist History: Ready every Turtledove book.

Bridge Toll: Read three of the following: Twilight Saga, Anthem,

Atlas Shrugged, The Catcher In the Rye

The Talker: Spend more than three consecutive hours in the /lit/ chatroom.

Questionable Advice: Read twelve books featured in Oprah's Book Club

You're a Wizard, Harry- Read the entire Harry Potter Series, consecutively.

Scholar's Shelf: Own the complete Norton Anthology collection.

This is Addicting: Your book collection habit is forcing you to eat ramen frequently.

Pringles Man: Read The Book of the New Sun.

Monopoly Man: Read The Fifth Head of Cerberus

Frost Giant in a Hat: Read the Soldier series.

Harry Potter who?: Read the Dresden Files right afterwards.

Hobby Confused: Read three or more novels based off of a popular video game.

Mo' money' Mo problems - Have over 50 books unread that you purchased.

The Sniffer- you like to smell books; especially when no one is looking.

Classic SyFy: Read at least one science fiction book by the following authors: Verne, Wells, Asimov, Clarke, Heinlein, Bradbury, Le Guin, and Vonnegut.

Expat: Read a novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, and Gertrude Stein written while they lived in Paris.

Stoic to the Max: Watch 'Bright Star' without raging.

Questionable Motives: Read 'Anarchists Cookbook', 'The Turner Diaries', and 'Patriots'.

Just Beat It: Read at least two works by Ginsberg, Kerouac, Burroughs, Cassady, Corso, and Conrad.

I CAN SEE FOREVER: Marry a feminist writer.

Your Little Beaver: Continue having open relations while married to a feminist writer.

From Russia With Love: Read one by each of by the following: Tolstoy, Pushkin, Gogol, Chekov, Bulgakov, Dostoyevsky, Ivanov, Lermontov Nabokov, Solzhenitsyn,

Cross-Eyed Sartre: Your reading habit forces you to buy prescription glasses.

MANLY MOTHERFUCKER: Read the following: The Red Badge of Courage, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Grapes of Wrath, The Call of the Wild, The Iliad and the Odyssey, The Road, Hamlet, and any three books by Hemmingway.

Flightless Flock: Own 50 Penguin trade paperbacks

Fatmans Misery: Read Confederacy of Dunces and Lord of the Flies

The Basementdweller: Read American Psycho and complain about it being not graphic enough

Middle East Beast: Read one by each of the following: Mahfouz, Pamuk,

Darwish, Kadare, Maalouf, Shafak, Oz, Khayyám.

The Hipster: Read the books /lit/ talks about

Presidential Library: Read a biography of every US president.

Idealist Folly: Read all books by Kant and Hegel.

Fantastic FanFiction: Read The Aeneid and any two of Plato's early dialogues.

The Red Badge of Courage: Read everything Published in the MEGA (Marx Engels complete works)

Crossover Appeal 1: Read No Country for Old Men, Do Androids Dream of

Electric Sheep?, Jurassic Park, The Godfather, The Exorcist, To Kill a Mockingbird, and In Cold Blood.

The Braggart: you read books for showing off only.

Christfags Fucked My Shit Up: Read The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.

I'm not Tao Lin, I swear: Make a thread about _Shoplifting From American Apparel_.

The Hivemind: read more than 5 books at the same time.

The Regular: Be disappointed when the daily House of Leaves thread doesn't materialize.

The Bukowski: finish a book whilst being drunk

The Eschatologist: Read Gibbons "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire", SPenglers "Decline of the West" and Barzuns "From Dawn to Decadence"

The Cosmopo/li/tan: Only read books mentioned on /lit/ more than 5 times in 24 hours.

I am Dr. Kashmir: Contribute 7 pieces to ZWG

The Evangelist- Convince a hater that books are not gay, but are actually enjoyable.

I'm a Hippie: Read Stranger in a Strange Land, The Illuminatus! Trilogy, The Doors of Perception, Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out, and Inherent Vice.

The Queen: Read all the plays, essays, fairy tales and Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde.

The Antichrist- Convince a litfag that books are gay and not very intellectual.

Old School: Read only books published before 1792 for a whole year.

Yeah, Infinite Jest was pretty great: Pretend to have read a book that you haven't read.

The Decadent: Rip out every page you just read for 1 month.

The Whole Bard and Nothing But The Bard: Read and seen (in a theater) the complete works of Shakespeare.

Renaissance Man: read 2 plays by each, Shakespeare, Marlowe, Jonson. Plus: THe Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli is obligatory

The Accidental Evangelist- Accidentally leave a lesser-known work by a classic author in a public place.

The Good /lit/izen: Don't buy books, just use the library.

Chief Rabbit- Read Watership Down without stopping to read something else.

A hole in one: Read a complete book of length more than 300 pages in one sitting. (yes pee/coffee breaks are ok)

Blast from the Past: Re-read at least ten books from either the Goosebumps series, the Animorphs series, or the Deltora Quest series.

The Mariner: Read "The Nigger of the Narcissus" "Moby Dick" "The Sea-Wolf" and "20000 leagues under the Sea"

Weeaboo: Read fifteen novels written by Japanese authors.

Classic Yankee Prose: Read at least one prose book by: Poe, Melville, Twain, James, Sinclair, Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Faulkner, Steinbeck, and Henry Miller.

Latino Lit: Read at least one book by: Borges, Casares, Paz, Llosa, Marquez, Bolano, Neruda, and Cortazar.

Gonzo!: Read A Mencken Chrestomathy and Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72.

Big Dickens: Read Dickens entire corpus consecutively.

Perfect childhood: Read every Redwall novel without turning into a furry.

The Tin foil hat: carry a copy of The Catcher In The Rye and The Day Of The Jackal at all time.

The Horrorshow chelloveck/devotchka: read A Clockwork Orange without using a dictionary.

Love is my Craft- Read the Complete Works of H.P. Lovecraft

Eldritch horror: Read 20 stories based on the Cthulhu mythos.

Sagging Gambrel Roofs: Read 40 stories based on the Cthulhu mythos.

I am Providence: Read the entire works of H.P. Lovecraft

"Storm and Stress": Read any 10 Works from the German literary period between 170 to 1780. A work by any other author than Goethe and Schiller will count twice...

Hipster: Read books written by Easton Ellis, Murakami and Vonnegut

Never Doing That Again: Lend a book. The borrower never returns it.

A Hitchhiker through and through: Know where your towel is.

Celluloid Freak: Every time you watch a film you read the book it was based on if there is one, and viceversa.

Dog Pound: leave dogear tabs in 100 books.

The Devils Advocate: Read "Faust", "Paradise Lost", "Master and

Margerita" "His Dark Materials" and "Inferno"

Reading Pals: Lend someone a bookmark when they desperately need one.

Cogito Eco Sum: Read "The Name of The Rose", "Foucaults Pendulum",

"Baudolino" as well as one academic work of Umberto Eco.

The Canadian Experience: Read "The English Patient", "Life of Pi", 2 novels by Farley Mowat, Deptford Trilogy, 2 novels by Margaret

Atwood, 3 short stories by Margaret Laurence, and Pierre Trudeau's autobiography.

Keeping Up With The Brontës: Read all the Novels written by the

Brontë sisters.

Bookworm: Have over twenty images of books, libraries, bookshelves, etc. saved to your harddrive.

Upside Down Words: Read 5 books by 5 different Australian authors.

5 Under 35: Read five books written in the last ten years.

Brilliance and Banality: Read 3 works by Jane Austen

The Deviant: read Naked Lunch, Gravity's Rainbow, Crash, Salo, and rape a child in an unusual fashion

The Monocle And Top Hat: Only read books written over 100 years ago.

Asia on Viagra: Read any novel of James Clavell's Asian Saga.

Over9000: Own more than 500 books.

Supreme Erotomania: The Tropic of Cancer, Quiet Nights in Clichy, Delta of Venus, Justine, Philosophy In The Beaudoir, Venus in Furs, The Kamasutra, Songs Of Salomon, Fanny Hill,The Decamerone, Lady Chatterleys Lover, Fear Of Flying, Lolita, Casanovas Memoirs, La Ronde. Also Fap furiously while reading them.

Platinum Membership- Become a member of the rewards program of three or more bookstore chains.

FUCKING BORDERS!: The Borders you just went to didn't have any of the books you were looking for.

Garage Sailor: Obtain a used book for <10% of what it would have cost at a chain book store.

The Rocket Ship: Read every book that has won the Hugo Award

Starman: Read every book that has won the Nebula Award

The Kindred Spirit: Start up a conversation with every stranger you see reading a book you have read

The Inner Child: Read every Newberry-winning book.

Picture Books Are Literature Too: Read every Caldecott Medal winner.

The Undistracted: Continue reading a book while going to the bathroom.

The Dedicated: Continue reading a book while using a urinal.

Mile-Wide Attention Span: Successfully read two different books at the same time.

Grand And A Half: Read a work that is 1500 pages or longer.

The Distracted: Have at least 15 books in your to-read list.

How Do You Turn This Thing On: Read at least 30 ebooks.

The Lover: Read 20 books with explicit sex scenes.