Once upon a time there was a girl named Abigail Jamieson. She was on the way to see her Step Bro Henry Chiu, when she decided to take a short cut through Quinn Field.

It wasn't long before Abigail got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite thing, Yihong, but Yihong was nowhere to be found! Abigail began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Yihong. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, she saw a Hairy Stegosaurus dressed in Macaroni Yellow pants disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Abigail.

For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed Stegosaurus. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Abigail reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from Devil's Lettuce, a house made from Mango, a house made from Soap, a house made from Pop Tarts, a house made from Bell Pepper and a house made from Chocolate Sculpture of Boris Johnson.

Abigail could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.

"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Abigail looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Abigail a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Yihong!

"Yihong!" shouted Abigail. She turned to the witch. "That's my slave!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Yihong back!" cried Abigail.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Yihong out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, five Hairy Stegosauruses rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Abigail recognised the one in the Macaroni Yellow pants that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.

"Hello Big Stegosaurus," said the witch.

"Good morning." The Stegosaurus noticed Yihong. "Who is this?"

"That's Yihong," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Yihong would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the Stegosaurus.

The witch shook her head. "Yihong is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Abigail interrupted. "Yihong lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Stegosaurus ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Stegosaurus looked at the house made from Chocolate Sculpture of Boris Johnson and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from Chocolate Sculpture of Boris Johnson if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next Stegosaurus. "I could eat two houses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Yihong."

Abigail watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Yihong to Big Stegosaurus. She didn't think Yihong would like living with a Hairy Stegosaurus, away from her house and all her other slaves.

The other four Stegosauruses watched while Big Stegosaurus put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Stegosaurus. "Just you watch!"

Big Stegosaurus pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Mango. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Eventually, Big Stegosauru started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of Mango, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Stegosauru.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Stegosaurus never finished eating the front door made from Mango and Yihong remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Average Stegosaurus stepped up, and approached the house made from Soap.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Stegosaurus. "Just you watch!"

Average Stegosaurus pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Soap. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After a while, Average Stegosaurus started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

   ...and greener.

Stephen walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a Stegosaurus!" said Average Stegosaurus.

"It talks!" exclaimed Stephen. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Stegosaurus, as Stephen picked her up. But Stephen ignored her cries and carried the Stegosaurus away under his arm.

Average Stegosaurus never finished eating the front door made from Soap and Yihong remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Little Stegosauruz stepped up, and approached the house made from Pop Tarts.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Stegosaurus. "Just you watch!"

Little Stegosaurus pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Pop Tarts. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After five or six platefuls, Little Stegosaurus started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.

He stopped eating Pop Tarts for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.

But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Stegosaurus into the sky.

"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Stegosaurus. "I'm scared of heigh..."

Little Stegosaurus was never seen again except for rotting in the pits of hell.

Little Stegosaurus never finished eating the front door made from Pop Tarts and Yihong remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Tiny Stegosaurus stepped up, and approached the house made from Bell Pepper.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Stegosaurus. "Just you watch!"

Tiny Stegosaurus pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Bell Pepper. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Stegosaurus' mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of Bell Pepper, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.

"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Stegosaurus, and stomped off into the forest.

Tiny Stegosaurus never finished eating the front door made from Bell Pepper and Yihong remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Even-Tinier Stegosaurus stepped up, and approached the house made from Chocolate Sculpture of Boris Johnson.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Even-Tinier Stegosaurus. "Just you watch!"

Even-Tinier Stegosaurus pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from Chocolate Sculpture of Boris Johnson. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Suddenly, Even-Tinier Stegosaurus stopped eating and started dancing. While he danced, he sang at the top of his lungs, "Chocolate Sculpture of Boris Johnson! Watch me eat all the Chocolate Sculpture of Boris Johnson!"

"It looks as though the Chocolate Sculpture of Boris Johnson are making you hyperactive," laughed the witch.

"Oh no they're not!" cried Even-Tinier Stegosaurus. "I'm always this excited." With that, he walked into a tree.

Bong!

Even-Tinier Stegosaurus banged his head and fell backwards onto his bottom. He passed out, exhausted. Blood spurted from his eyes as his organs splattered all around the forest.

Even-Tinier Stegosaurus never finished eating the front door made from Chocolate Sculpture of Boris Johnson and Yihong remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Yihong."

"Not so fast," said Abigail. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from Devil's Lettuce. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

Stephen's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the Stegosaurus. She won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Abigail.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Yihong back."

Abigail ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from Devil's Lettuce and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took out a blunt and smoked it.

Abigail sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Abigail. "I am just waiting for my high to wear down.

When Abigail's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from Devil's Lettuce. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She smoked it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Abigail was down to the final piece of the door made from Devil's Lettuce. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. Abigail had eaten the smoked front door of the house made from Devil's Lettuce.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was Stephen. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Yihong or I will devour your firstborn child!."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Abigail hurried over and grabbed Yihong, checking that her favourite slave was all right. Fortunately, Yihong was unharmed.

Abigail thanked Stephen, got an autograph, mixed some music with him, and hurried on to meet Henry. It was starting to get dark.

When Abigail got to Henry's house, her Step Bro threw his arms around her.

"I was so worried!" cried Henry. "You are very late."

As Abigail described her day, she could tell that Henry didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.

"What's that?" asked Henry.

Abigail unwrapped a doorknob made from Mango. "Fus Ro Dah!" she yelled.

Henry died.

The End