vids narcissism

* - Awakening = first noticing "this isn't normal", realization begins with awareness

* - Grieve not just the person but the dream and fantasy

* - Main barriers to leaving: denial, hope for change

* - Difficulty stems from confusing chaos with passion and mistaking control for love

* - Normalized bad patterns: silent treatments, digs, walking on eggshells, being gaslit

* - The process of leaving a narcissist unfolds in five stages
	* - awakening = "this isn't normal"
	* - denial = rationalizations
	* - emotional separation = detaching identities
	* - physical exit = no contact
	* - reclaiming oneself = trauma -> learning

________________________________________________________

* - Truth tellers are quickly silenced or scapegoated by the family

* - Truth tellers often become the black sheep or outsider in the family

* - Truth teller = recognizes dysfunction (triangulation, enabling, gaslighting, codependency, trauma bonding) without knowing those terms

* - Truth teller typically dreams of escape and develops a rich inner world for coping

________________________________________________________

* - "She's already left you, she just lives at the house"

* - Threat of leaving = ongoing infidelity (emotional absence, lack of fidelity)

________________________________________________________

* - Narcissists substitute admiration for love and confuse the two

* - Narcissists have difficulty seeing others as separate from themselves

* - Research shows pathological narcissists can't easily distinguish their own facial features from others', indicating confusion between self and other

* - This self-other confusion at the visual level supports the theory that pathological narcissists struggle to see others as independent people

* - Normal narcissism = healthy, stable self-concept and sense of identity

* - Normal narcissism includes mastery, agency, realistic goal-setting, and a balanced sense of entitlement

________________________________________________________