Thread 18: Stories 46-60

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Celestia"
>Applejack
~Praetorian 1~
-Praetorian 2-
*Praetorian 3*

>Celly? Got a question

"And she goes to the....damnit, sill no balcony...what is it then?"

>I was lookin' through the guard rosters, and 'pparently there were these...Pray...tory...ans I had never heard of....why are you blushing like that?

"Umm, well, y'see, when I was muuuuuuch younger...sort of, and you were non-existant....I felt I could make some...soldiers for the...y'know, conquering stuff and....."

>Conquerin'? Who didja have to invade?

"Oh..no one, just uhh....me"

>I don't like where this is going....

"Cos well....I NEEDED SOMETHING TO RUT...ME! Happy now?!"

>Uhh...no? How does that explain the Praetorians?

"Oh, how I toiled, some of the hunkiest of guards I could find, squirrel them away somewhere...then work as much magic as I could on them, super heat resistance, hyper agility, uber dexterity, maximum endurance..."

>....YA MADE PROSTITUTE SOLDIERS?!

"Shhhenotlikethatshe'llhearand-....no, just...really, really....suitable, but-"

>Didn't work out?

"Had to keep them somewhere safe, where only I could reach them"

>And where are they now?

"Please forgive me for this, I was a desperate Princess back then"

[A strong magic aura fills the room]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC0bA_NZ3vI

[POP! POP! POW! KABLOOIE!]

>MAH EYES! MAH EEEEYES!

~PRINCESS! Ohhh how good it is to see you~

-Myeeeees, It's been faaar too long, my Dear Overlord-

*Are we required, my Princess? We are more than ready*

-Except old...Truffle Hunter was it?, he was never....able to withstand the heat?-

~-* AH HA HA HA HA HA HA *-~

~'Tis no matter, the Membership of the Praetorians stands ready...as ever~

-...Except that orange one....only you make red eyes look....so sexy-

"Sorry, AJ, but if they ever come near me...like they would...they just suddenly get teleported back to...where they were"

>AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
" AJ13 "
~~~~

Fuck, today was awful. A peaceful walk in Canterlot's garden sounded so good, but you know what? That was a bad idea. Guards are still on edge, that fucking construction sound was going to drive her up a wall, and one of her Changelings had been following her for what felt like forever.

It was obviously trying to hide this fact, of course, but it was doing about as well a job as a sparkler in pitch black room. An infiltrator class, it was not. Too skinny to be a soldier. Drone? Had to be a drone.

>Are you going to keep following me?

Wow, okay, so that's what EEPS sound like about sixteen decibels higher than what should be possible. Chalk that up to a life lesson learned.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I..."

Was that that fucking neurotic one? Can't be, she's in Equestria. And she's just fidgety, not straight up shaking like a leaf.

"I-J-j-j-just w-wanted to-EEEK!"

Okay, so... thank goodness for fast reflexes. If she hadn't telekentically grabbed the thing, it likely would have split it's head open on that rock.

>Do try to be more careful, I'm on a bit of a roll with no dead Changelings.

"R-r-right! RIGHT! T-that's what I, um, what I wanted to... to thank you for."

>...Oh? What did you want to thank me for, 13?

From the look on the smaller Changeling's face, that was apparently the passcode for the vault leading to the land of happy chocolate and sprinkles land.

"You remember me..."

Kind of hard to forget a Changeling that constantly almost dies, but it's probably better if she didn't mention that.

>Of course I do. Hope I didn't jostle you around too much when Chitania tried to crush you.

"N-NO! NO!... I mean, n-n-no! You didn't! I'm fine! Because... because you saved me. Even though you gave up being able to surprise her..."

>Well, of course I did. Couldn't let you get squished. What kind of Queen would I be then?

"A normal one."

Judging by the look on her face, her unlucky streak likely started prior to being found barely alive in that river.

>Well...

Playfully, she rubbed the top of the stunned Changeling's head.

>Guess you're just lucky I came across you.

"Yeah..."

>Hm, you know what you need?

"...What?"

>A good luck charm.

The pin was just something she had bought on a whim, it came two for a single bit even, and she honestly hated the thing. But it seemed the drone disagreed. To her, the little plastic thing might as well have been made of solid gold.

"T-thank you..."

>Hey, it's what a Queen is here for, is it not?... Well, okay, not giving stuff away. I just did that cause I like ya'. Now scamper off, these guys have been giving Changeling's the stink eye for a bit, better not provoke them more, right?

"R-right! T-thank you again! Queen! I mean, my Queen! I mean... no, I meant that... Thank you! Bye!"

>Oh! Before you go...

She skidded to a halt, her legs tangling comically.

"Y-yes?"

>Well, 32's nasty little attempt has made me a little worried. If any more talk like he did shows up, be sure to tell 42, won't you?

"Y-YES MAJESTY!"

>You don't have to salute, dear, you're not a soldier.

"S-SORRY HIGHNESS!"

>Accepted. Run along now.

She made it about two feet before she faceplanted, got up, faceplanted again, shoved her face along the ground in a desperate attempt to escape the embarrassment, then suddenly remembered she could fly and took off... right into a window.

>...Well, that was fun.

It felt good to be nice to them, at least sometimes. Never too much, of course, they can't think she actually loves them, but a little here or there goes a long way, as Mother used to say.

And, of course, it's always good to have someone in there to listen for any problems to... nip in the bud. Sometimes, loyalty is expensive...

Sometimes it cost's half a bit.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>29
"42"
'Trixie'
~~~~

>If I see another noodle in my life, I am going to-

"29."

>AHHHHH!... How do you keep getting into my apartment!?

"Disguised myself as you, pretended I lost the key, walked in."

>...WE ARE A HORRIBLE RACE!

'Trixie agrees.'

>...So, what, you were just going to let her ambush me?

'Meh.'

"Not like she could have stopped me."

'THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE WOULD CRUSH YOU WITH HER AMAZING MAGIC IF SHE SO DESIRED!'

>She actually is rather skilled. She keeps me from getting into my bed.

"Heh. Finally settle for less and she kicks you out on the couch."

'LESS!?'

>Yes. Less. Less than royalty. Not you, who I should note I am NOT getting with.

'Good! The Great and Sexy Trixie doesn't want you anyway!'

>She said, while drinking my apple juice.

'IT'S TASTY!'

>...42, did you have a reason to be here?

"Yes. You're now under consideration to be moved to soldier class."

>What!? I'm an infiltrator!

"You were until you fired off a beam registering above twelve fire-sparks."

>You don't know that!

"The flash was visible from Canterlot."

>Well, forget it, I'm not a soldier. I'm here to cajole, seduce, and sap.... PUT THAT DOWN!

"Put what... what the fu-"

>LANGUAGE!

"...Why are you levitating that? What the hell is wrong with you?"

>Sweetie, I didn't mean to yell, don't cry.

"There's nothing there! Stop it!"

>No no, she didn't mean it. You're not a nothing, no matter what your mother said.

"29!"

>WHAT!?

"...Fine, you're excused from soldier placement. The fact you thought I would fall for that is insulting enough I don't even want you there anyway. Good day."

>NOT THROUGH THE-

*CRASH!*

>I HAVE A DOOR!

'...Sooo... I ate all of your takeout."

That's when the stormcloud hovered over the hole, and started raining on him.

"...And I may have run up your electric bill a little."

His worries on that were soon put to rest!

That lightning strike gave him all the electricity he could want.

>...I need a new crying corner.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Chrysallis'
"Celestia"
~Praetorian 1~
-Praetorian 2-
*Praetorian 3*

'Soooooooo, what was Apple screaming about back there as they stretched her off? Somethin' bout...what was it: "GOSHDARN SOLDIER STRIPPERS"? Did I hear that right?'

"No, you heard nothing, for once, you are not going to get any enjoyment out of this"

'And are these....hunkurions still around? or did they go somewhere else? You horny Princess...'

"I AM NOT HOR- They were just a mistake I made in quick error....over a long period when I was younger....something like that"

'Come onnnnnnn, spikyloins, give us a show'

"NO"

'I'll tell THE WORLD you're hoarding these secret Sex Maestros, I'll blabber to every stripper club, every brothel in the land, let's see you deal with that then, eh?'

"I-you-not-they're....fine, FINE! IF YOU INSIST"

[AYYYAAAYAAAIII!] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC0bA_NZ3vI

~-*POSE! UNF!*-~

'......they'rebeautiful'

~ARE TONED HINDS STAND READY MY PRINCES- Uh! What in all of Equestria is....THAT?!~

"pleasedon'tlaugh"

-My Alabaster Godess! How could you deign to STAND in the same presence of that....diiiiisGYUsting....black creature-

'YOU! YOU KEPT THESE WALKING SEX MACHINES FROM ME THIS WHOLE TIME?!'

*To that, holed harlot, I take OFFENSE! We are Celestias Praetorians! We are fit for NONE but herself!*

~Oh Princess.....We must cleanse ourselves from this foul beast! Come! There is no Time to be LAWST!~

'Ohhhohoh Don't you step another inch towards her...those....fine....muscled....glistening....LEGS...You do not understand how much I needed a good rutting! Here! *-~AGH UHH HAARGH~-* Take me now!'

"Ah! Cover it up! I never wanted to see! Not here! Not now! Whyyyyy must this always happen to me?"

-Nyerrrrgh! I do not gird my chest for such horrid blackness! AWAY MY BROTHERS!-

~I was made for the spirit of Apollo! Not for the terrors of Neptune!, I shall exercise my prowess ELSEWHERE!~

*My Prrrrrrincess of Rotund, Benevolent Buttocks! This air is TAINTED by this chitinous monstrosity, we are Brrrrrroken by it's....depths! AWAY!*

*~-HOO! HAH! OONF! POSE! POW!-~*

"No! Come back! I.....You scared them away you bitch! Now I can't get them back....who knows what they'll do out there"

'Myeeeeeheheheeeeeh.....'

"Oh what are you crying over? Spilt milk?"

'Noooooooooo, I would've milked them all dryyyyyyyehehheeeeeeeh.....I Could've had themmmm....I coulda had it aalllllllllllllllll....'

"....Your ass is still in the air....please put it down"

'This is yourrrrr faaaaaaaaaaauuuuahahauuuuuuuuult'

"Yeah yeah....keep telling me that"

'They could've plowed the SOUL outta me, and all would've been perfect and beautiful in the world.....but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You had to make them only lust for YOUR fat ass!'

"And I can't even get that right....yep, keep piling it on me......please stop hitting me, that's not gonna change anything"

'I will find theeeeeeeeeheheeem, I will have theeeeeehhehehememmmmmmm, I'll even leave Shiny alone for good just to have all three Schlongs permanently availablllllllllle'

"Wow, that sounds like a stretch"

'Just you wait, I'll have them...I'LL HAVE THEM ALLL!'

"....Aaaaaand out the window she goes.....Why did you have to find that one roster, Applejack?...."

NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Chrysalis"
'Fluttershy'
~~~~

>YOU GAL-DANGED BEETLE!

"Wow. Racist much? I knew you southern types were all alike."

'Isn't that racist?'

"I didn't say earth ponies."

'You are still being selective.'

"But not on a racial level."

>HEY!

"..."

>...WHAT THE BUCK IS THIS!?

"Oh! Yeah, cool right?"

>COOL!? YA ADDED YER'SELF TA' THE ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST!

"Technically, Fluttershy did."

>FLUTTERS!

'What? Isn't she?'

>IT AIN'T FER SENTIENT SPECIES!

"Racist."

'Okay, yes, technically that is racist.'

>Yer' s'posed ta' take mah side!

'That seems biased.'

>Friends can be biased!

"Applejack! Abusing your contacts like that? For. Shame."

'You really shouldn't do that.'

>...ARGGGH!

"Oh, hey, no eye popping."

'It was getting a little old.'

"I wonder what she's going to do inste-"

*WHEEEEEEEEEEE~*

"LASER EYES!?"

'THAT'S NEW!'

>ARRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHH!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
"Guard"
~~~

>URRRGGHHHHHHAAAAAHHHH!

"Ms, this is a library-OH GOD!"

>No, no god, that's the problem!

"Please put me down!"

>DO NOT TRY TO COMMAND ME!

"Y-yes ma'am! No ma'am! No commanding!"

>Worthless little worm is there only one unicorn stallion with actual BALLS in all of this world!?

"I got the emphasis from you talking, you do not need to gesture and you certainly do not need to give them a threatening look!"

>WORTHLESS!

*TOSS!*

>Just like this whole library! Not a single MENTION outside of that god damn ALICORN! What am I missing? What could I possibly be overlooking?...Maybe if I beat you enough, I'll...

...

>...WHY THE FUCK AM I IN A DESERT!?

The desert, being mostly rocks and sand, offered no reply.

>HOW THE FU-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>18
"32"
~~

"Well well well, look who is here to visit...HEY!"

>Ignoring you.

"Your little game is not going to work, I speak on my terms only- STOP WALKING AWAY!"

>...Fine, whatever. What do you want? I need to talk to Blueblood.

"Do not play pretend, I am well versed in infiltration. Your little acts are- are you just going to walk away every four seconds!?"

>You keep rambling, it's annoying. You see this little area circled here? This is a bunch of robots, and I would like to ensure my soldiers are not going to be walking into booby traps.

"How caring of you, Cadenza. Never did I expect you to take such a pro-active approach."

>I'm 18, asshole.

"Oh ho, my mistake. You can see the confusion, of course."

>Not really, lots of ponies keep saying I don't look anything like her. Ass is too big, they say.

"Oh? Does Shining Armor know the difference?"

>No shit, he knows. The mountain of paperwork I do is probably a dead giveaway.

"What a shame. So, I take it your 'mission' is a failure? And she called you her top infiltrator, her very best, how... fitting."

>The 'mission' was to get copious amounts of love to feed everyone. Mission fucking accomplished, I'd say. Well, not for YOU, your mission of 'charge blindly at the changeling who's power dwarfs mine' was an outright failure, wasn't it?

"Getting hostile already? Uncalled for."

>Merely stating facts.

He leaned forward against the bars, his nose poking just out of them.

"Oh, are we doing that now? Fine. Fact is, you're merely a lapdog, pulled around on a chain of false praise and so desperate to be accepted that she ignore the fact that Chrysalis could not care less about you, Cadenza could not care less about you, and Shining Armor could not care less about anything you do beside doing his dirty work. Your entire continued existence hinges on the fact that damn stallion doesn't know how to actually hire a secretary. Someday, he is going to tire of you, and then where will you be?"

The air seemed to go still after that, and he felt a smile grace his lips.

That smile died quickly when her own split her face.

>Oh no! My whole life has been a lie! If only I had a functioning brain before this point, and could logically and cognitively deduce that maybe I'm not going to get fucked silly by Shiny! Oh no! The illusion I have cast over my own eyes is surely falling away piece by piece! Oh the horror!... Oh! Wait a minute!

Her hoof flicked up, catching him on the nose.

And sending him clear to the ceiling.

>You're full of shit, and Shiny actually does love me! Thank goodness I'm not a damn teenager who whinges in their closet about how cruel life is.

His nose and head smarting was not enough for him to stay down.

"Someday she might ask you to drain Shining Armor dry, can you even comprehend that? What could you do if you PRECIOUS QUEEN asked that of you?"

A magical force grabbed him by the neck, and dragged him over to the bars again. Smirking wide, 18 brought her head close to his.

>I'll tell her no. To be blunt, there's probably not a force on earth that could make me hurt Shiny. But your concern is just so very appreciated. Here...

Her lips touched his forehead, and he suddenly felt more full than he had since the day Chitania arrived.

>Little thank you, just a taste of what could have been if you hadn't lost your cookies. Don't worry...

Her smirk widened.

>...I have plenty to spare.

With poise, she started to strut down the hall, cocky smirk still on her face.

"...What would have happened if he died?"

And just like that, it was as if he pulled the rug out from under her.

"...He almost died in the volcano. What would have become of you if he had?"

She wanted to answer him, but couldn't. Unsurprising, seeing as she hadn't been able to answer it when she asked herself the last few weeks.

"Her foolishness may get him killed, 18. Take heed who you throw your lot in with, when the time comes."

She didn't respond, just walked away, hurrying a bit faster than she had before.

"...Hrm..."

A smirk crossed his lips this time.

"She will make an excellent ally."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Celestia"
~~~~

>Celestia, got a request.

"A 'request'? Is this opposite day? Oh good! At last it's not my fault!"

>Nope.

"DAMN!"

>Anyway, Ah' jus' need ya' ta' help clean up some dark magic stuff.

"Why don't you do that?"

>I, uh...

"...Have you been going to your classes?"

>W-well, it's been pretty busy...

"Applejack? Can you... do magic?"

>Ah' can levitate stuff.

"And?"

>...Couple other things?

"Applejack!"

>Well, this magic stuff is hard! Okay? Ah' don't know why ya'll thought Ah' could do it! Ah'm an earth pony at mah' core!

"Why didn't you just ask for help?"

>Cause Ah' don't need no fancy magics ta' do paperwork.

"Oh dear, I should have been paying closer attention and making sure you were taking your classes. This is all my fault."

>Oh, so it is opposite day!

"Enough, we are going to the library right this second and you are going to learn!"

>Nooo! Ah' don't wanna go back ta' school! AH' GRADUATED!

"No buts!"

>DAMN YOU CELESTIAAAAAA!

"Luna will have to handle whatever that dark magic caused, you and I are going to study!"

>NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Luna"
~~~
We find our heroines tonight in a library of magic

>Daaamn.

"What is that shall spew forth now from your mouth and keep quiet about it, this be a folio depository."

>Well excuse me, p-

"Finish that and die."

>Seriously though, you ponies come up with some useless magic spells. I mean I can see the use for a floating disk, but this prestidigitation crap? That's useful if you're a foal in a talent show but what on earth else?

"Tis' very useful. By the way, you have something on your collar."

>Oh, I'm noit falling for-

The scent hit her.

>What the fu-?

Luna then flicks her muzzle

>-UCK!

"See? Useful."

>I will murder and set fire to everything you love.

"We wish you luck on the former with 56 and luck on the latter with Celestia."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"Celestia"
~~~
>Hey, Celestia, I need to ask you something-

"Oh, sweet, heavenly mother! Not you too!"

>Actually, I wanted your help purging something nasty from the basements to make more room for storage and for people to take refuge in. I mean the thing looks outright diseased.

"Spike, you... Don't know how to burn impurities or any other draconic magic?"

>Wait, dragons have magical schools of their own?!

"Praise my mother! Between your military training, your martial arts training, and marksmanship skills, I really don't think you should do anything else to gain power. If you ever went berserk again, I don't know if we could stop you."

>Gee... Thanks for the confidence in my control.

NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>Wow.

"Ta daaaaaa!"

>T-that's...

"That's..."

>...*SNRK!* N-nothing! It's r-really...hehe... Reeeeeeally nice, Crissy. Really usefu- oh fucking this, PFFFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! AHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

"Whaaat? It was actually really useful for Auntie Coronatus! No fooling!"

>PFFTHAHAHAH! Where!? Where would looking like a flower EVER be useful!?

"In a field of flowers outside of Manesity."

>...Okay, yeah, but seriously, you look pretty.

"Really?"

>Oh yeah, just want to stick you on a corsage and take you to prom- PFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

"I'm still intimidating!"

>COMING THIS SUMMER! You this bed of roses is going to lay YOU, SIX FEET UNDER, IN! THE BOUQUET OF DEATH!

"...Bouquet of death actually sounds like a cool movie name."

>...

"...TRADEMARKING!"

>NO WAI-OW! DAMN YOU CHITANTIA-OW CAN'T MOVE OWOWOWOWOW!

"MWAHAHAHAHAHHA!"

>...And off she goes... three... two... one..

"FUCK YOU STOP LAUGHING!"

>It's the little things.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
[Pinkie]
"Colgate"

[Chrysalisalisalis, I'm not asking you to hurt her or anything, but could you maybe just mess with her a little? Steal a little love from her?]

>I get plenty of love as is, and you don't keep a luscious figure like this from hoofing it all the way out to Podunkville, you know.

[Pleeeeeeaaaase? With sprinkles and sugar on top? And maybe a cherry? And cupcakes? You'd be doing everyone a favor! Plus she'd never see you coming as a gigantic flower.]

>First, you seriously don't know me, do you? Second, I don't think you count as "everyone".

[...have you seriously never met her?]

>Not firsthand, I think AJ32 imitated her once during the invasion.

[She's awful, just awful!]

>Are you sure rotting your teeth with all those sweets didn't make you bitter toward her?

Their conversation was interrupted as a blue unicorn hopped by, her white magic enveloping a foal's bag of newly bought fish as she shook it vigorously.

"...I'd poison guppies and when I was done,"

She threw the bag casually back to the foal, who looked on the verge of tears as her fish swirled around from the force but otherwise lay very, very still.

"I'd find a pussy-cat and bash in its head!"

She bucked over a trashcan, an alley cat letting out a yowl as it scampered for cover.

"That's when my momma said... (what did she say?)"

the changeling queen stuck her head out of the Sugar Crystal bakery, watching in something between shock and admiration as the unicorn continued her casual melodic rampage through the town. Pinkie's scowl jumped between the blue-and-white-maned pony and the changeling queen who refused to feast on her.

"My foal I think someday,
You'll find a way,
To make your natural tendencies pay!"

[...You twits were going to use the Elements on me, when SHE lives in your hometown?]

"You'll be a dentiiiiist!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOtMizMQ6oM
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
{ Pinkie }
~~~~~

>....Uh, huh.

"She is really, really good at that."

'W-what? I that what you wanted this whole time? Clearly you should have been more up front! The Great and Powerful Trixie could do that!'

[My friend, you are full of it. If you can, then go ahead and do it.]

'Rhyming it with 'it' is cheating!'

[It was a word I had to fix on the fly, thanks to the children fellowship. It is hard to speak like this when I have to include censorship. But if you were curious, and lacking in wit. The word I thought was not it, but that you are full of shi-]

>LANGUAGE! The bedeviled tongues of children are as nails to the chalkboard in my mind, RENTING their hooftips across it's surface, and leaving a deep screech in thine wake!

"You know what? We should invite Dj-Pon3."

'What? Why?'

"Just saying, do you see all these flashes going off?"

>Thank goodness we bought sunglasses.

'From her. For fifteen bits a pop.'

[Do not be mad you lacked in foresight, surely your hooves are enough to protect your eyesight.]

'Trixie does not fear the li-MY EYES! AHHHHHHHH!'

"You really shouldn't egg her on like that."

[I will cease when I am done. For now, it is too much fun.]

>...Is it still going?

{HEY! CHANGEWANGEY!}

>...Yes?

{How many kids wanted a birthday again?}

>I thought it was twenty, but I swear it just keeps rising.

{Well, I'm charging by the flash now.}

>Erm, are you sure helping the souls of the departed isn't reward enough for you?

{Noperino!}

>...MY BANK ACCOUNT! NOOOOOO!

'AHHHHHHH!'

{Whooooo wants ice cream caaaaakkke?}

>NOOOOOOOOO!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Celestia"
>"Applejack"
-Twilight-
'Royal Guard Ponies'

---

"...What are you doing?"

>"..."
-...-

"No, seriously. You two... why are you meditating in my bedroom."

>"..."
-...-

"GUYS! Seriously. Get out."

>"..."
-...-

"...I will send you to the moon."

>"..."
-...-

"Well... actually I suppose you could teleport back."

>"..."
-...-

"It shouldn't be this quiet!!"

~Then suddenly, three Guardsmen burst into the room clad in heavy, purple and pink power armour, adorned with chains, skulls, and spikes.~

'THIS QUIET OFFENDS CELESTIA!!'

'THINGS WILL GET LOUD NOW!!'

~Deafening Bass music fills the room out of nowhere and multicoloured strobe light blink crazily. They dance as Applejack, Twilight, and Celestia are shook around with the sheer force~

'WE ARE AMPLIFIED!!'

'SCREAM TO BE HEARD!!'

~As the music continues playing and the Guards raving, Twilight attempts to stop them, her horn sparking and their music succeeding in cutting it off momentarily~

-NO!!-

'...'

'YOU INTERRUPT?!?'

~Twilight is tackled to the ground as the music inexplicably starts again, even louder. Twilight stares at the ceiling, dumfounded and dazed, while the Guards resume their Chaos-induced rave.~

'YES!!'

'SWEET CACOPHONY!!'

'OURS IS THE CRY OF CHAOS!!'

NON CANON
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Pinkie
"Fluttershy"
'Discord'
~~~~

>HOLY CRAP, ANOTHER ONE!?

"What?"

>Nothing, nothing! Just surprised I'm existing right now this many times.

'Right? You'd swear we just blink out of existence sometimes.'

>But we make great dues-ex-machina's!

'We do!'

"...Pinkie, I actually wanted to talk to you about Partyland."

>Isn't it great? Partyiest place on earth, coming soon!

"Well, it's just, you're kind of within ten miles of a sanctuary."

>Yeaaaaah?

"Zoning laws say you have to be further out."

>Oh Fluttershy, no worries on that! I just slipped Luna some cake and she okaly dokalyed everything I did!

"...But it's too close to the sanctuary."

>Ohhh, Flutterbuttershynotaguy, think about it! It's the perfect spot! The sun hits it just right, it's close to towns for restocking, and it makes the postcard just POP!

"Oh, I see, it's nice, but... it's too close to the sanctuary."

>Come oooooon Flutty! I can't move it, think of the children! Think of all the poor widdle foals and fillies who want their big ol' party to happen at Partyland, but just can't get close enough! THINK Of THE CHILDREN!

"...Partyland... is too close... to the sanctuary."

>The stare doesn't work on me! I'M IMMUNE!

"...Discord? I'm not going to ask you to move it, because that would be a horrible thing to abuse your powers like that, but-"

'Hm? Oh, sorry, while you guys were talking I absentmindedly snapped my fingers, and now it's about forty miles in that direction. WHOOP!'

"I understand, I nervously do stuff all the time too."

>...Isn't... isn't there a river down that way?

"How unfortunate. You better go check."

>...MY CONFETTI COLLECTION!

*DASHES OFF!*

>DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

*Canters off?*

>BETTER!

"...Discord, I do not want you to think I encourage that behavior, but-"

'Hoof-bump?'

"Bump it."

*BUMP!*

'They put that together on their own!'

*Sorry.*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________