Love Wedding Repeat (2020) EN

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<i>A wise person
once said about love,</i>

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<i>"We live in a universe
that's ruled by chaos and chance,</i>

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<i>where all it takes is just one moment
of ill fortune</i>

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<i>for all our hopes and dreams
to go right down the shitter."</i>

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You can do it. You can do it.
You can... Just kiss her.

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Just...

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She likes you, all right?

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Yeah, I think... I think... Yeah, she does.

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No, she doesn't. She does. She does.

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You've spent the whole weekend
putting off this moment,

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and now you're actually out of time.

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Literally, out of time.

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Right, this is it, this is it.
This is your moment. This is...

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How long does it take?

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One second!

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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- Hey.
- Hey.

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- Everything okay?
- Yeah, just a bit of tummy trouble.

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- I was worried you might miss your flight.
- No, I've got a few minutes.

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Can you believe how lucky your sister got?

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She gets sent off to Rome for work,
and I get sent off to war-torn hellholes.

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Well, I suppose if you're gonna be
a war journalist,

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that might, more or less,
be what you'd expect.

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Okay, smartass.

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This has, uh...

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This has been a pretty special weekend.

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Yeah.

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I have to admit that when Hayley
told me her older brother

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was coming to visit the same weekend
that I was coming, I was pretty bummed,

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but it turns out you're not as irritating
as I thought you'd be.

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Wow.

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Uh, I think that's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.

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Well, that's the nicest thing
I've ever said to anyone, so...

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- Well, then I'm doubly honored. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

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But, seriously, thanks for...

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an amazing time.

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I don't think I've met anyone
quite like you.

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You're just a charmer, huh?

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No, I promise you I'm not.
I'm a terrible, terrible charmer.

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Uh, I'm just being honest.

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Ah, um...

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So...

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So, so...

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Jack? Mate!

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What are the chances?
What are you doing here?

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Uh...

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- Greg!
- Yeah, no, Greg!

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Yeah, I remember.

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Sorry.

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- Hi. Dina.
- Nice to meet you.

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Nice to meet you, too.

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- We used to share a dorm at university.
- Oh.

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We used to call him Mr. Wank.

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Because he used to wank a lot.

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- I don't think that was me.
- No, that was definitely you!

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Anyway...

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I've actually got to get back to London.

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- I'm going to the airport.
- No way. Me too.

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- Shut up.
- I'm literally going right now.

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- Yeah, I've got a car. I could drive us.
- Really?

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Yeah.

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It's not a problem.

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Oh, so you're gonna go now?

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Yeah.

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I guess I am...

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going now.

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Um...

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Oh, okay.

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Can I... I just have to say goodbye...

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Um, you know, uh...

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Don't know when
we'll see each other again, so...

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Sure, yeah. Go ahead.

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Uh...

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So, thank you...

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again for an amazing...

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- weekend.
- Yeah, it was...

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- Oh, sorry. I thought...
- Oh, okay. Uh...

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Yeah.

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- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, nice to meet you, too.

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This is happening.

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- Come on, Wank.
- Yup.

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- Mate, can you believe what luck this is?
- No, no, I actually can't.

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<i>And so,</i>

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<i>with the coincidental appearance
of just one twat from the past,</i>

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<i>chance comes along and gives love
a massive kick in the ballsack.</i>

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<i>As the wise person would say,</i>

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<i>"Chance can be a real bastard."</i>

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Done.

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Be careful.

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It's okay for me.
That's fine.

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- You're beautiful.
- She's perfect.

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Are you excited?

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- It's okay? Here we are.
- She's perfect.

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- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

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Congratulations!

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Bye.

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It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine.

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Absolutely fine!

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- Good morning.
- Good morning.

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Hayles?

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Hayley?

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Yeah, just a second.

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You okay?

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- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
- What's going on?

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Getting married is stressful, isn't it?

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The only reason I slept at all
is because I'm taking these...

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these sleep drops that are literally
strong enough to knock out a horse.

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Oh, my God. Do I look okay?

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You look stunning.

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Life's random, isn't it?

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I mean, one minute I'm exchanging
obscenities with a stranger in a car park,

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and the next, we're six months on,
totally in love and getting married.

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I wish Mum and Dad were here.

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I know.

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Yeah.

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It's all right.

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Yeah.

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Is there a bride
in the fuckin' house?!

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Oh, my God, Hayley-cakes!

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You look absolutely amazing.

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Thanks, Bryan. Everything okay?
You know your role? You're all right?

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- Yeah. I'm great.
- Yeah?

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Um, couple of questions, though.

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Can we stop calling it "maid of honor"
and call it "man of honor" instead?

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No. Second question?

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Only because I'm a man, obviously, but...

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Secondly,

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am I sitting next to Vitelli?

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- No.
- Okay.

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Uh...

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Uh, why not?

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I mean, you know,
he's casting for a new film right now.

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Do you have any idea what
that could do for my career?

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- Give you one?
- Exactly.

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I had to put all the English people
on the same table, but don't worry.

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- I will introduce you. I promise.
- All right. Sorry.

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It's your day anyway. As long
as I'm not sitting next to Rebecca.

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'Cause I can't handle her
holding onto me all night, 'cause she'll...

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- Sorry. I'll shut up.
- Yeah, good.

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Um...

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I think I'm ready.

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Oh, my God!

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This is happening!
My sister's getting married!

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Yes, she is!

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I'm gonna see you there.
Just got to have a quick haircut.

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What, now?
You'll be late for the ceremony.

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Yeah, Bryan?

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Wow! How long have we known each other?

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And you still have absolutely
no faith in me, do you?

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- No.
- None whatsoever.

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I'm meeting Federico Vitelli.
I can't do it with shit hair.

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It's fine. Just go. Don't be late, okay?
It's my wedding day!

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- Please don't be late, Bryan.
- It's my wedding day, Bryan.

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- He's gonna be late.
- Let's go.

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- Uh, Hayley, just... small thing.
- Yeah?

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This English table.
Amanda's not on that, right?

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Ah.

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- She is. Okay.
- Listen.

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I'm really sorry. I had no choice.

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Is that cool?

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Is it cool to be sat next to my nightmare
of an ex-girlfriend for a whole day?

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Look, no, it's... it's fine.
It's gonna be fine, okay?

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I'll tell you what,

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I'm not having us having
a foreign wedding.

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Well, I haven't said yes to us
getting married yet.

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Yes, I'm well aware of that, believe me.

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My friends think it's mental
you haven't jumped at the chance.

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To spend the rest of your life
with someone is a big deal.

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It's not a decision I'm just
gonna jump into.

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I asked you six months ago.

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Ugh, here we go.

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Amanda!

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That's...

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Here you go, mate.

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You know, I actually thought "penne"
was the Italian for "penis,"

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00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:47,541
because of their kind of small,
like, tube-like...

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But it's actually just "penne"
is just the Italian for "penne."

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Did you just buy that to piss me off?

180
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:54,333
No, I wore it 'cause it looks cool.

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You look like a fucking magician.

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How the...

183
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It cost me three grand.

184
00:11:01,375 --> 00:11:03,083
Oh, my God! Amanda, hi!

185
00:11:03,166 --> 00:11:05,750
- Oh, wow! You look gorgeous.
- Thank you, love.

186
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,083
Have they booked a cabaret act?

187
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,250
- No. I'm Amanda's boyfriend.
- And you're in the cabaret!

188
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:11,333
- That's amazing!
- No.

189
00:11:11,416 --> 00:11:13,625
I didn't know you had a new boyfriend.
That's good.

190
00:11:13,708 --> 00:11:16,291
I'm so glad you've moved on
from that last guy you were seeing.

191
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:18,666
What was his name? Chaz?
Last time I saw her she was like,

192
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,416
"I'm seeing this dickhead."

193
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,958
No, I'm Chaz.

194
00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:23,916
- What?
- I'm Chaz, so...

195
00:11:25,041 --> 00:11:26,833
Oh, my God.

196
00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:29,666
Have you gone out
with two Chazes in a row?

197
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,916
That is such a unique name.
That's nuts.

198
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,125
Sidney? Sidney, is that you? Sidney!

199
00:11:34,208 --> 00:11:35,541
Oh, my God, I didn't know...

200
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I'm coming. Excuse me.

201
00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:39,666
Chaz, darling, this is Sidney.

202
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,833
- Hello, Amanda, how are you?
- Our old flatmate.

203
00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:43,541
Who, for some reason, is wearing a kilt,

204
00:11:43,625 --> 00:11:46,041
even though he isn't remotely Scottish.

205
00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:47,416
Yes, I've gone there.

206
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,333
Already regretting it slightly.

207
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:51,250
It's quite a heavy plaid,

208
00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:53,083
and it's already starting to, um...

209
00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:55,875
chafe a little bit in the old groinal...

210
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:58,083
area.

211
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:01,041
The testicles. Hm.

212
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,500
- Shall we go in?
- Yeah.

213
00:12:04,583 --> 00:12:05,958
Yes, let's go in. Let's go in.

214
00:12:06,041 --> 00:12:07,881
How long have you been
in the cabaret business?

215
00:12:07,916 --> 00:12:09,541
I'm not. I'm a music producer.

216
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:12,083
- Who the hell's this other Chaz guy?
- Don't worry about it.

217
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:15,125
My balls. My dear, old balls.
I think they'll be fine.

218
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,541
It's just sort of working out a way
of managing them.

219
00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:38,666
All right, you ready?

220
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:41,625
Yeah.

221
00:12:41,708 --> 00:12:42,791
Yeah, I think so.

222
00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:44,833
Come on.

223
00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:46,500
Wait, Jack, um...

224
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:48,625
- Look, I...
- What's up?

225
00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:51,208
You know that I would've...

226
00:12:52,541 --> 00:12:54,750
I would've given anything for Dad
to be here today.

227
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:58,125
But having you walk me
down the aisle is...

228
00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,666
- Oh...
- ...is the next best thing

229
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:01,625
that I could ask for, so...

230
00:13:08,541 --> 00:13:11,375
Also, can you look after
my bag of pills, please?

231
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:12,958
Thanks.

232
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:14,166
Sure.

233
00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:19,416
Let's get you hitched.

234
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:20,583
Getting hitched!

235
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,083
Aah!

236
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:23,416
- Come on.
- Okay.

237
00:13:44,708 --> 00:13:47,666
- Where the fuck is Bryan?
- He'll be here.

238
00:13:47,750 --> 00:13:49,833
Why is he getting
a fucking haircut now?

239
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:50,958
What's wrong with him?

240
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:53,666
Oh, God! Why did I decide to do this?

241
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:55,666
Because you love him.

242
00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:58,333
All right?

243
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:03,875
Yeah.

244
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,125
Okay. Let's do this.

245
00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:10,583
Oh, no. I nearly forgot to tell you.

246
00:14:10,666 --> 00:14:13,250
You remember Dina,
my American friend that you met in Rome?

247
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:14,541
- Yeah.
- She's here.

248
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:17,791
Uh...

249
00:14:17,875 --> 00:14:18,958
- What?
- Yeah.

250
00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:21,250
Sorry, wait, wait, wait...

251
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,166
You said she definitely couldn't come,

252
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:25,333
and besides that, she had
a boyfriend anyway, right?

253
00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:28,833
Yeah, well, it turns out she can come,
and she's broken up with her boyfriend.

254
00:14:28,916 --> 00:14:31,125
- Yeah. Come on, let's go.
- W-Wait.

255
00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:33,333
Okay.

256
00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:35,375
Okay.

257
00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:40,291
- Mm-hmm?
- Yeah.

258
00:14:46,541 --> 00:14:47,541
Oh, my God.

259
00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:09,416
Welcome to all.

260
00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:12,708
We are gathered here today
to bring together

261
00:15:12,916 --> 00:15:15,041
Roberto and Hayley.

262
00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:16,791
Ladies and gentlemen...

263
00:15:20,458 --> 00:15:22,375
Sorry. Told you I'd make it.

264
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:28,208
Andrea, this is my brother, Jack.
And this is my maid of honor, Bryan.

265
00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:29,416
<i>Ciao, ciao.</i>

266
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,180
This is Sophia, Roberto's mother.

267
00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:32,541
Hello.

268
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,583
Hi.

269
00:15:35,458 --> 00:15:36,666
Hello. Um...

270
00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:39,083
Okay!

271
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:41,166
Nice to meet you all.

272
00:15:44,875 --> 00:15:46,684
- He just kissed me full on the mouth.
- Me too.

273
00:15:46,708 --> 00:15:48,148
I think I got some tongue, actually.

274
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,625
Oh, you're <i>not</i> in the cabaret.

275
00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:51,000
I love your suit, though.

276
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,458
- Good, innit? Thank you.
- Yeah.

277
00:15:52,541 --> 00:15:55,291
My six-year-old nephew
has one just exactly like that.

278
00:15:55,625 --> 00:15:57,833
- Six-year-old nephew.
- Sounds like a pretty cool kid.

279
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:00,017
Yeah, except his trousers
are attached to the top half,

280
00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:02,726
and he's just got this little flap
to let his little out.

281
00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:05,083
No, this has got the classic zip.

282
00:16:05,875 --> 00:16:08,708
Look, I suppose I should go mingle
with my new relatives.

283
00:16:08,791 --> 00:16:09,916
Go, go, go.

284
00:16:11,625 --> 00:16:14,000
- Don't get emotional.
- No, I won't, I won't, I won't.

285
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:15,875
Oh, man.

286
00:16:15,958 --> 00:16:17,708
- She looks so happy.
- Yeah.

287
00:16:19,041 --> 00:16:20,281
Did you even get your hair cut?

288
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,166
- It looks exactly the same.
- No, it doesn't.

289
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,166
- It does.
- It's rounder.

290
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,625
- Mate...
- It's rounder, Jack.

291
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:40,708
Hot.

292
00:16:41,541 --> 00:16:43,291
- Yeah, it's really hot today.
- Very hot.

293
00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:44,416
It's pretty, though.

294
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:45,625
Oh, what a dress!

295
00:16:45,708 --> 00:16:47,017
- Thank you very much.
- Beautiful.

296
00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:49,681
Appreciate that. You as well.
I mean, it's not... It's not a dress.

297
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:51,166
This is a kilt.

298
00:16:51,708 --> 00:16:53,375
Yeah, I know. Yeah.

299
00:16:53,916 --> 00:16:56,458
Traditional Scottish... dress.

300
00:16:56,541 --> 00:16:58,166
- Right. I knew that.
- Yes.

301
00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,125
I'm not Scottish.

302
00:16:59,208 --> 00:17:00,333
- You're not?
- No.

303
00:17:00,416 --> 00:17:01,875
Then why are you wearing a kilt?

304
00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:12,166
The old Italian sun.

305
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,166
Huh.

306
00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:17,791
Lichen.

307
00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:19,958
Um... Oh.

308
00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:21,041
Deary me.

309
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:22,625
I don't think you...

310
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,916
I don't think you should...

311
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:25,708
So, where's your other half?

312
00:17:26,208 --> 00:17:27,458
Oh, no other half.

313
00:17:27,541 --> 00:17:29,333
Just, you know, half a person today.

314
00:17:29,625 --> 00:17:31,291
- I'm half a person.
- You are?

315
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:32,625
Oh, well...

316
00:17:33,166 --> 00:17:34,791
- Deal?
- Deal.

317
00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:36,416
- Wedding buddies.
- Oh.

318
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,166
Is that... That was the deal we made?

319
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:39,791
- We shook on it.
- We shook.

320
00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:41,666
What do wedding buddies do?

321
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,708
We hang out a little bit.

322
00:17:49,916 --> 00:17:51,436
- Would you like a drink?
- I'm good...

323
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,500
They're free.

324
00:17:52,958 --> 00:17:54,000
- Two champagnes?
- Yeah.

325
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,000
- It is, uh, free, but...
- I'll be right back.

326
00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:57,833
- No, I'm okay.
- You don't go anywhere.

327
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,041
- God, there he is.
- Who?

328
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,000
Vitelli.

329
00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:08,583
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah. He makes movie stars, Jack.

330
00:18:08,666 --> 00:18:09,541
Movie stars.

331
00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:11,458
I've got one chance to impress him.

332
00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:13,375
Maybe you can do it
with your speech later on.

333
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:14,458
Yeah.

334
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:15,875
What speech?

335
00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:17,291
Your maid of honor speech.

336
00:18:17,375 --> 00:18:19,250
No one told me I've got
a maid of honor speech.

337
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,875
- Yeah, it's in the program.
- No, I don't think I do.

338
00:18:22,416 --> 00:18:23,875
Oh, no!

339
00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:26,448
- I've got nothing prepared!
- It's gonna be fine.

340
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,583
- It's not gonna be fine.
- Just riff one out, man!

341
00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:30,184
- Shit, there's Rebecca.
- Just vibe it.

342
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:32,288
Don't leave me alone with her, please.
She clings on.

343
00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:33,573
- I can't shake her.
- Oi, boys!

344
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:36,333
- Yoo! Hiya!
- Wahey! Here we are!

345
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,333
You know what that is!

346
00:18:38,416 --> 00:18:40,666
That's the fun car,
ready to pick you all up.

347
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:41,916
Thank you.

348
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,880
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!

349
00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:45,998
- The fun train. Get aboard.
- Ho!

350
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,333
There it is.

351
00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:49,291
- Wow, you look amazing.
- Thanks.

352
00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:51,208
- You do. You look fantastic.
- You too.

353
00:18:51,291 --> 00:18:52,500
It's so nice to see you.

354
00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:56,809
- You look really great.
- Oh, thank you.

355
00:19:12,875 --> 00:19:14,875
- I'm gonna...
- Did you get taller?

356
00:19:14,958 --> 00:19:17,250
- Are you wearing a Cuban heel?
- I'll be... Yeah...

357
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:18,583
- Jack?
- One sec.

358
00:19:18,666 --> 00:19:20,083
- Jack? Jack!
- Yeah?

359
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:22,250
- Hey, I...
- You look brilliant.

360
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:23,666
- Thanks.
- I love your suit.

361
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:24,916
Thanks a lot, yeah. I just...

362
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,880
I'm going to find a drink
or something, I think.

363
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,166
Oh, yes, please.

364
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:29,875
Jack? Oh, my God.

365
00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:32,500
- Jack.
- Hi.

366
00:19:32,958 --> 00:19:33,958
Hi.

367
00:19:34,375 --> 00:19:35,958
- Hi.
- It's nice to see...

368
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:37,041
Hi.

369
00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:38,875
Nice to see you, too.

370
00:19:38,958 --> 00:19:40,000
God. Uh...

371
00:19:40,416 --> 00:19:41,416
Yeah, I...

372
00:19:41,625 --> 00:19:42,458
Good? You're good?

373
00:19:42,541 --> 00:19:44,500
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Good. Yeah.

374
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,083
You look great.

375
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:47,500
Thanks.

376
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,851
Still can't believe you made me come
all the way out here

377
00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:52,017
just to stare at the guy
you were shagging for two years.

378
00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:53,291
Stop staring at him, then.

379
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:55,453
At least you got an upgrade.

380
00:19:55,791 --> 00:19:58,291
- Pfft! What upgrade?
- What do you mean, "what upgrade"?

381
00:19:58,375 --> 00:19:59,791
I'm better looking than him,

382
00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,833
I'm taller,
and I'm definitely better in bed.

383
00:20:01,916 --> 00:20:03,666
How do you know?
Have you slept with him?

384
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,750
Well, no. It's obvious, look at him.
He's just...

385
00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:07,083
What do you mean?

386
00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:08,851
Are you saying
that he's better in bed than me?

387
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,995
You know what?
I haven't had time for a full analysis.

388
00:20:11,041 --> 00:20:13,001
Really? Well, I have.
I've literally asked people,

389
00:20:13,083 --> 00:20:14,583
and they've all pretty much said,

390
00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:16,083
"Yeah, you're great. Cheers, mate."

391
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,750
- Go and stand over there, please.
- What?

392
00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:25,166
Further.

393
00:20:28,333 --> 00:20:29,333
This good?

394
00:20:29,791 --> 00:20:30,791
Perfect.

395
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:46,892
Are you okay?

396
00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:48,333
It's a bit overwhelming.

397
00:20:48,416 --> 00:20:50,208
No, I'm fine. We're fine.

398
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:51,875
I love you so much.

399
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,416
I just want you to have
the best day ever.

400
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:55,500
Oh.

401
00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:57,666
Nothing could spoil this day.

402
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,750
So, I was in my car
in this empty parking.

403
00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:36,125
Believe me, there was nobody.

404
00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:39,083
And Hayley come up to me and say...

405
00:21:39,166 --> 00:21:40,166
Fuck me.

406
00:21:44,458 --> 00:21:45,938
What did she say?

407
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,125
Sorry. Sorry. Just, um...

408
00:21:48,208 --> 00:21:50,328
- I'll be back in one second.
- Yeah, yeah.

409
00:21:50,708 --> 00:21:51,948
I understood that.

410
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,541
No, that's not
what she was trying to say.

411
00:22:06,416 --> 00:22:08,250
- Hey.
- Marc.

412
00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:10,250
What the fuck are you doing here?

413
00:22:10,708 --> 00:22:11,791
You're surprised to see me?

414
00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:14,541
Yeah, I am a bit.
I mean, everyone else was invited.

415
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:15,708
What do you want?

416
00:22:15,791 --> 00:22:17,041
I know! I know!

417
00:22:17,125 --> 00:22:19,458
You felt like you had to
go through with this facade.

418
00:22:19,666 --> 00:22:21,458
But, uh... But I'm here now.

419
00:22:21,791 --> 00:22:25,250
And I'm ready for us to be a happy couple.

420
00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:27,250
What?

421
00:22:28,458 --> 00:22:32,083
Uh, I am already in a happy couple
with my husband,

422
00:22:32,166 --> 00:22:33,583
who's just in that next room.

423
00:22:33,666 --> 00:22:35,101
- Hello!
- Beautiful wedding.

424
00:22:35,125 --> 00:22:37,125
So nice of you.
I'll come and find you in a moment.

425
00:22:37,208 --> 00:22:38,208
I'll come and find you.

426
00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:39,875
I've told you several times,
I am not...

427
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:41,642
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

428
00:22:41,666 --> 00:22:44,166
- I am not interested.
- No, I know, I know, I know.

429
00:22:44,250 --> 00:22:46,791
Because... Because you thought
I didn't really love you,

430
00:22:46,875 --> 00:22:49,666
but now I'm proving that I do
by doing something properly romantic.

431
00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:52,208
This is not properly romantic,
this is psychopathic!

432
00:22:52,291 --> 00:22:53,541
Please, Marc, just leave.

433
00:22:53,625 --> 00:22:55,416
- Just leave now, please.
- I just got here.

434
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,642
If you don't leave,
I will have security throw you out.

435
00:22:57,666 --> 00:22:59,541
Uh, why... why don't you try that?

436
00:22:59,625 --> 00:23:00,708
See what happens.

437
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:02,875
- Listen, you tosser...
- Hayley.

438
00:23:03,375 --> 00:23:05,250
- Hey.
- Oh, Roberto.

439
00:23:05,333 --> 00:23:07,791
Is this one of your English friends
I'm always hearing about?

440
00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:09,375
Hi, I'm Roberto.

441
00:23:09,458 --> 00:23:11,178
Yes, yes, this is, uh...

442
00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:13,750
This is Marc.

443
00:23:13,833 --> 00:23:16,666
Um, but he just popped in
and, sadly, can't stay.

444
00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:19,291
- Yes, I can.
- No. No, you can't, because...

445
00:23:19,375 --> 00:23:21,934
well, there's, um... there's nowhere
for you to sit, for a start.

446
00:23:21,958 --> 00:23:23,791
Oh, no, no, it's no problem.

447
00:23:23,958 --> 00:23:27,166
Your cousin, Laura, couldn't make it,
so we can put him on the English table.

448
00:23:27,250 --> 00:23:28,458
Oh!

449
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,166
There you go. Perfect.

450
00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:31,610
- Come. I'll organize.
- Brilliant.

451
00:23:31,666 --> 00:23:33,186
- Roberto, just...
- Come on.

452
00:23:33,250 --> 00:23:34,250
Um...

453
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:35,500
Yes...

454
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,000
Fuck!

455
00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:39,416
What about you?

456
00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:41,559
- You had a boyfriend.
- Yeah. No more, though.

457
00:23:41,583 --> 00:23:44,291
He thought it was a good idea to sleep
with almost all of his staff.

458
00:23:44,375 --> 00:23:45,583
- Ouch.
- So, yeah.

459
00:23:45,666 --> 00:23:48,958
So it was either fly out for Hayley's
beautiful wedding in Rome,

460
00:23:49,041 --> 00:23:51,250
or go home
and kick the living fuck out of him.

461
00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:52,333
It's not too late.

462
00:23:52,416 --> 00:23:55,875
You know, you could always kick
the fuck out of him when you get back.

463
00:23:55,958 --> 00:23:56,833
Best of both worlds.

464
00:23:56,916 --> 00:23:59,125
I get back on Tuesday.
I can fuck him up then.

465
00:24:00,875 --> 00:24:01,875
Just before we...

466
00:24:02,666 --> 00:24:03,666
Yeah?

467
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:06,500
Uh...

468
00:24:08,208 --> 00:24:10,416
I... I used to ask about you...

469
00:24:11,375 --> 00:24:12,375
all the time.

470
00:24:15,166 --> 00:24:16,583
I used to ask about you, too.

471
00:24:20,833 --> 00:24:22,000
There she is!

472
00:24:22,083 --> 00:24:25,583
- Hi! You look so beautiful!
- So do you. It's so great to see you.

473
00:24:25,916 --> 00:24:28,000
- I'm just gonna borrow him. One second.
- Yeah.

474
00:24:28,083 --> 00:24:29,375
We'll be right back. Sorry.

475
00:24:29,458 --> 00:24:31,458
Hold that thought, please. Hold it.

476
00:24:50,208 --> 00:24:51,833
Oh, my God, Hayles.

477
00:24:52,333 --> 00:24:54,458
She's even more gorgeous than I remember.

478
00:24:54,708 --> 00:24:56,375
Look, I know you're busy,

479
00:24:56,458 --> 00:24:58,291
but you said there was an English table.

480
00:24:58,375 --> 00:24:59,375
Is she on that table?

481
00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:01,625
Can you just...
Can you shut up for a second?

482
00:25:01,916 --> 00:25:04,083
Just listen to me
'cause I've got a bit of a problem.

483
00:25:04,166 --> 00:25:06,458
- Fine. What is it?
- Marc Fisher is here.

484
00:25:06,666 --> 00:25:08,250
- What, the creep from school?
- Yes.

485
00:25:08,333 --> 00:25:09,958
Why the hell did you invite him?

486
00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:11,833
I didn't invite him, he just came.

487
00:25:11,916 --> 00:25:13,083
Well, just tell him to leave.

488
00:25:13,166 --> 00:25:15,208
You can't just turn up
to a wedding uninvited.

489
00:25:15,291 --> 00:25:16,375
Jack, you don't understand.

490
00:25:16,458 --> 00:25:18,375
He's saying that he's in love with me,

491
00:25:18,458 --> 00:25:21,333
and he's threatening to go full-on psycho
and ruin my wedding!

492
00:25:21,958 --> 00:25:24,166
- He's what?
- I know. He's fucking nuts.

493
00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:26,333
And he's fucking coked up to his eyeballs!

494
00:25:26,666 --> 00:25:28,958
All right. Okay. Don't worry.
I'll... I'll get him out.

495
00:25:29,041 --> 00:25:31,375
You can't! He's too volatile.
God knows how he'll react.

496
00:25:31,458 --> 00:25:34,583
- All right. So what, then?
- I don't know! I don't know! I don't know!

497
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,458
Oh, God. Have you got my pills?

498
00:25:37,250 --> 00:25:39,958
Come on. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

499
00:25:40,041 --> 00:25:43,083
- You're not gonna vom', are you?
- God, you better have a bucket.

500
00:25:43,166 --> 00:25:44,458
Fuck!

501
00:25:44,958 --> 00:25:45,791
Just don't vom...

502
00:25:45,875 --> 00:25:47,208
- Oh, my God.
- What?

503
00:25:47,291 --> 00:25:48,333
What? What? What?

504
00:25:49,666 --> 00:25:50,875
Yes. Yes.

505
00:25:51,541 --> 00:25:53,625
This is the sleep medicine
that I've been taking.

506
00:25:53,708 --> 00:25:55,767
Couple of drops of this,
it would knock him out for hours.

507
00:25:55,791 --> 00:25:57,041
It's seriously strong.

508
00:25:57,625 --> 00:25:59,416
Sorry, what?

509
00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:03,083
And Roberto has put him on your table.
Oh, my God, it's perfect.

510
00:26:03,166 --> 00:26:06,000
Just put a couple of drops of that
in his champagne glass.

511
00:26:06,083 --> 00:26:06,958
It'll be brilliant.

512
00:26:07,041 --> 00:26:09,666
But just use it sparingly
'cause it's the last that I have, okay?

513
00:26:09,750 --> 00:26:10,666
Put it in your pocket.

514
00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:12,250
- Just a quick question.
- Yes?

515
00:26:12,916 --> 00:26:14,125
Are you fucking mental?

516
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,791
I'm not gonna roofie Marc Fisher.

517
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:18,083
Listen, Jack.

518
00:26:18,166 --> 00:26:20,875
Marc is just about mad enough
to ruin this whole wedding

519
00:26:20,958 --> 00:26:23,500
and humiliate me
in front of my new family,

520
00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:26,291
many of whom already think
I'm a bit of a dick.

521
00:26:26,375 --> 00:26:28,517
- There has to be another way.
- There is no other way.

522
00:26:28,541 --> 00:26:30,291
- There isn't. Please.
- There has to be.

523
00:26:30,375 --> 00:26:32,684
- No, there is no other way.
- There has to be another way!

524
00:26:32,708 --> 00:26:33,541
Jack...

525
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:36,625
Hayley! Why do you keep disappearing,
my beautiful?

526
00:26:37,708 --> 00:26:39,083
- We need to do the photos.
- Oh!

527
00:26:39,166 --> 00:26:40,583
- Hey.
- Hey.

528
00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:42,375
Your sister is an angel, isn't she?

529
00:26:44,666 --> 00:26:45,708
- Yeah!
- Yes.

530
00:26:45,791 --> 00:26:46,791
Come.

531
00:26:47,833 --> 00:26:48,833
Hayley...

532
00:26:49,875 --> 00:26:52,083
Hayles? Hayles?

533
00:26:52,458 --> 00:26:53,458
Hayles?

534
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:54,500
Hayley!

535
00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:00,700
She's your sister. She's your sister.
She's your sister.

536
00:27:02,916 --> 00:27:03,916
Okay.

537
00:27:10,041 --> 00:27:11,041
<i>Ciao.</i>

538
00:27:37,916 --> 00:27:39,750
You fucking owe me, Hayley.

539
00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:52,275
<i>Do you know
how many different ways eight people</i>

540
00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:53,416
<i>can sit around a table?</i>

541
00:27:54,208 --> 00:27:56,916
<i>No, don't try to work it out.
It's really complicated math.</i>

542
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,000
<i>You won't be able to.</i>

543
00:27:58,458 --> 00:27:59,541
<i>But there are thousands.</i>

544
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,000
<i>Trust me.</i>

545
00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:02,458
<i>Look it up later.</i>

546
00:28:03,041 --> 00:28:04,375
<i>Anyway, the point is,</i>

547
00:28:04,458 --> 00:28:08,250
<i>something as seemingly insignificant
as where we're sitting at a table</i>

548
00:28:09,041 --> 00:28:10,583
<i>is actually chance</i>

549
00:28:11,208 --> 00:28:13,750
<i>dictating whether love will succeed</i>

550
00:28:14,166 --> 00:28:15,166
<i>or fail.</i>

551
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,375
<i>Signore e signori,</i>
ladies and gentlemen...

552
00:28:33,583 --> 00:28:35,791
Please be seated.
Lunch will be served.

553
00:28:48,625 --> 00:28:50,583
Come on. Come on. Come on.

554
00:28:50,666 --> 00:28:52,666
He's just a man. No different to anyone.

555
00:28:53,583 --> 00:28:57,000
A handsome, imposing,
successful man.

556
00:28:57,083 --> 00:28:59,458
But it's fine.
Just go over and say hello for God's sake.

557
00:28:59,541 --> 00:29:00,625
"Hi, I'm Bryan."

558
00:29:00,708 --> 00:29:01,708
See, it's easy.

559
00:29:02,458 --> 00:29:03,750
He's only human.

560
00:29:03,833 --> 00:29:05,553
He goes to the toilet
just like anyone else.

561
00:29:06,166 --> 00:29:07,208
Just imagine him naked.

562
00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:08,958
Yeah, a naked man.

563
00:29:09,041 --> 00:29:11,125
Just a naked man shitting on a toilet.

564
00:29:27,208 --> 00:29:29,375
Oh, we're sat beside each other.
How fun is that?

565
00:29:29,458 --> 00:29:30,791
Brilliant.

566
00:29:37,166 --> 00:29:38,166
Thanks.

567
00:29:41,458 --> 00:29:42,291
Mm.

568
00:29:42,375 --> 00:29:43,375
Thank you.

569
00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:46,583
More, please. Thanks.

570
00:29:48,666 --> 00:29:50,166
Ahh!

571
00:29:51,833 --> 00:29:52,833
Hi.

572
00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:54,041
Hi.

573
00:29:54,208 --> 00:29:56,041
I'm here. And you are...

574
00:29:56,625 --> 00:29:57,833
- There. Right.
- Not quite...

575
00:29:58,291 --> 00:29:59,458
Okay.

576
00:29:59,541 --> 00:30:01,181
We can just, you know,
wave at each other.

577
00:30:03,375 --> 00:30:04,541
- Hi.
- Hi.

578
00:30:04,666 --> 00:30:05,916
- Hello, I'm Bryan.
- Dina.

579
00:30:06,333 --> 00:30:07,333
Wait...

580
00:30:07,750 --> 00:30:08,750
Wait a second...

581
00:30:10,541 --> 00:30:11,833
Hey, man. Hey.

582
00:30:14,375 --> 00:30:15,791
Look, can I just, uh...

583
00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:19,500
Cheers.

584
00:30:21,750 --> 00:30:22,750
Uh...

585
00:30:23,375 --> 00:30:25,083
There's no way his cock's
bigger than mine.

586
00:30:25,166 --> 00:30:27,250
It might be thicker,
but it's definitely not longer.

587
00:30:27,333 --> 00:30:29,166
Are you seriously
still going on about this?

588
00:30:29,458 --> 00:30:30,500
Well, yeah.

589
00:30:31,208 --> 00:30:34,041
For you information,
thicker is just as important.

590
00:30:34,125 --> 00:30:36,541
You don't want a long, thin pencil dick
going up there.

591
00:30:37,208 --> 00:30:39,333
- Have I got a pencil dick?
- Can you please stop?

592
00:30:39,416 --> 00:30:41,934
- You're like a 12-year-old.
- I haven't got the equipment of one.

593
00:30:41,958 --> 00:30:43,878
No, you don't.
You have the brain of one, though.

594
00:30:43,916 --> 00:30:44,916
Okay, well...

595
00:30:46,625 --> 00:30:48,500
- Hey.
- Oh, hello.

596
00:30:51,625 --> 00:30:53,250
You have got to be kidding me.

597
00:30:53,583 --> 00:30:55,791
Oh, great. I'm not even sitting with you.

598
00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:57,916
I've got to sit
with people I don't know.

599
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,500
What was your sister thinking, Jack?

600
00:30:59,583 --> 00:31:01,583
You know, I have really no idea.

601
00:31:01,916 --> 00:31:03,541
- All right?
- Hi.

602
00:31:03,875 --> 00:31:05,000
This is brilliant, innit?

603
00:31:05,083 --> 00:31:06,083
Ah!

604
00:31:08,125 --> 00:31:09,791
- We're meant to be together.
- Mm.

605
00:31:09,875 --> 00:31:10,875
Apparently.

606
00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:17,725
- Hi, everyone.
- All right, mate?

607
00:31:21,083 --> 00:31:22,333
What's Marc Fisher doing here?

608
00:31:22,791 --> 00:31:23,833
Uh, I'll explain later.

609
00:31:23,916 --> 00:31:26,458
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. and Mrs. Carboni.

610
00:31:37,791 --> 00:31:39,625
Cheers. Cheers, guys. Marc.

611
00:31:40,083 --> 00:31:42,791
Welcome to table four.
Yeah, to table four.

612
00:31:42,875 --> 00:31:44,500
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

613
00:31:45,208 --> 00:31:46,500
Cheers.

614
00:31:48,875 --> 00:31:50,416
- To us.
- Cheers.

615
00:31:50,500 --> 00:31:51,500
Could be.

616
00:31:55,125 --> 00:31:56,125
Thank you.

617
00:31:56,833 --> 00:31:59,583
So how long have you and Amanda
been seeing each other?

618
00:31:59,666 --> 00:32:01,916
- I've been with her for about a year.
- Whoa!

619
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,166
Yeah, and she's chose
to sit next to her ex-boyfriend

620
00:32:04,250 --> 00:32:06,000
over her actual boyfriend, so...

621
00:32:06,083 --> 00:32:07,250
It is pretty rude.

622
00:32:07,333 --> 00:32:11,041
Especially when you consider
what sort of, um, relationship they had.

623
00:32:11,125 --> 00:32:13,416
- What do you mean?
- It was all very physical, you know?

624
00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:14,791
I personally don't believe

625
00:32:14,875 --> 00:32:18,166
that any sort of meaningful relationship
is ever built on that much sex,

626
00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:20,208
so it is kind of weird
that they'd sit together.

627
00:32:20,291 --> 00:32:22,000
It's just like more...

628
00:32:22,083 --> 00:32:22,958
And less, like...

629
00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:24,666
- Do you know what I mean?
- Yes. Yeah.

630
00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:26,500
Lots of banging, but very little chat.

631
00:32:26,583 --> 00:32:29,666
And, you know, where does that sort
of thing end up, you know?

632
00:32:29,750 --> 00:32:32,125
Sorry, mate, can we get a proper drink?

633
00:32:32,208 --> 00:32:33,568
All about the...

634
00:32:33,625 --> 00:32:35,583
And not about the...
Know what I mean?

635
00:32:35,666 --> 00:32:36,666
Yeah. Yeah.

636
00:32:36,875 --> 00:32:39,500
I see you're wearing
the cuff links I bought you.

637
00:32:40,791 --> 00:32:42,000
Oh, yeah.

638
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,180
Well, they were the only ones I had, so...

639
00:32:46,125 --> 00:32:47,125
Fuck you.

640
00:32:48,250 --> 00:32:50,833
So, um, I hear you're a journalist.

641
00:32:51,833 --> 00:32:53,000
- Yeah.
- In journalism.

642
00:32:53,750 --> 00:32:54,791
Yes, that's right.

643
00:32:54,875 --> 00:32:56,333
Yes, got it in one.

644
00:32:57,708 --> 00:32:59,333
So, what is that? Fashion stuff?

645
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,291
No, I'm a war journalist.

646
00:33:01,375 --> 00:33:02,750
I think someone said... Hang on.

647
00:33:02,833 --> 00:33:03,875
Did you get kidnapped?

648
00:33:04,208 --> 00:33:05,208
Yes. Yeah.

649
00:33:05,875 --> 00:33:06,708
Whoops.

650
00:33:06,791 --> 00:33:08,958
- Yeah, whoops.
- Big whoops. No, not whoops.

651
00:33:09,041 --> 00:33:11,434
But you know what I mean, like, careless.
Well, not careless.

652
00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:13,416
- No, not careless.
- So what happened there?

653
00:33:13,833 --> 00:33:15,750
We were on a report in Afghanistan and...

654
00:33:15,833 --> 00:33:17,750
Oh, there's your first mistake.

655
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,708
Afghanistan, if you please.

656
00:33:22,041 --> 00:33:23,458
And what happened? Don't tell me.

657
00:33:23,583 --> 00:33:25,375
Um, well, the Taliban...

658
00:33:25,458 --> 00:33:27,750
- The Taliban,<i> quelle suprise.</i> Yeah.
- Right.

659
00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:31,125
Yeah, there were Taliban forces
who came into our space...

660
00:33:31,208 --> 00:33:32,208
Uninvited?

661
00:33:33,541 --> 00:33:34,958
- Yeah.
- Of course they were.

662
00:33:35,041 --> 00:33:37,250
- Of course.
- Why are you inviting the Taliban?

663
00:33:38,333 --> 00:33:40,291
Doing a report in Afghanistan,

664
00:33:40,375 --> 00:33:42,916
and the Taliban forces came in
and took us outside,

665
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,059
- lined us up, held guns to our heads...
- What were you wearing?

666
00:33:45,083 --> 00:33:47,041
- What?
- What were you wearing?

667
00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:48,791
Because, obviously, this would be, um...

668
00:33:49,708 --> 00:33:50,541
not for them.

669
00:33:50,625 --> 00:33:53,291
Out there they don't like the, um,
exposed...

670
00:33:55,291 --> 00:33:56,291
breast.

671
00:33:57,208 --> 00:33:58,875
Not that this is exposed. This is...

672
00:33:59,583 --> 00:34:00,958
This is... Yeah.

673
00:34:01,041 --> 00:34:03,000
Absolutely... very well judged.

674
00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:04,250
I'd kidnap you.

675
00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:05,333
- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.

676
00:34:06,625 --> 00:34:09,184
The proof was in the pudding.
They ended up breaking up.

677
00:34:09,208 --> 00:34:11,767
Well, no, because she keeps talking
about his massive dick, so...

678
00:34:11,791 --> 00:34:15,291
- Really?
- Yeah, well, mine's big anyway, so...

679
00:34:15,375 --> 00:34:17,708
- How big?
- Bigger than his, probably.

680
00:34:17,791 --> 00:34:19,471
What you talking about? A spoon or a fork?

681
00:34:19,541 --> 00:34:21,541
- Both.
- Can you point out on the table what size?

682
00:34:21,625 --> 00:34:23,250
Both. Stuck together.

683
00:34:23,333 --> 00:34:24,916
- Those two stuck together?
- Yes.

684
00:34:32,583 --> 00:34:36,083
- Who's the American?
- Oh, that's Hayley's friend, Dina.

685
00:34:36,166 --> 00:34:39,166
God, yeah, the lady you met in Rome
and wouldn't stop going on about.

686
00:34:39,250 --> 00:34:40,291
I don't go on about her.

687
00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:43,458
Oh, come on, you found every excuse
in the world to talk about her.

688
00:34:43,541 --> 00:34:46,416
We'd been there for, uh, many days.

689
00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:50,291
We actually had no idea if it was,
you know, day or night at that point and...

690
00:34:50,375 --> 00:34:51,666
I'm in car insurance.

691
00:34:53,458 --> 00:34:55,375
- What?
- I'm in car insurance.

692
00:34:58,166 --> 00:34:59,375
- Okay.
- It is okay.

693
00:34:59,708 --> 00:35:00,708
Oh, okay.

694
00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:02,916
It's not as boring as it sounds,
thank you.

695
00:35:04,125 --> 00:35:06,875
- I'm sorry. Go ahead.
- That's fine. So, yes, um...

696
00:35:06,958 --> 00:35:10,958
I work with a couple of guys
called Jim and, um, Jeff.

697
00:35:11,166 --> 00:35:13,458
Well, I call him Jeff.
Jim calls him Jeffrey.

698
00:35:13,916 --> 00:35:16,041
Jim started in 2001.

699
00:35:16,583 --> 00:35:18,041
And then Jeff started...

700
00:35:18,125 --> 00:35:19,375
- Lovely.
- Thanks.

701
00:35:19,458 --> 00:35:20,458
<i>Grazie.</i>

702
00:35:20,750 --> 00:35:21,916
<i>- Grazie.</i>
- That's it.

703
00:35:22,291 --> 00:35:25,416
And then Jeff started
a couple of years after that...

704
00:35:25,500 --> 00:35:27,083
I thought she had a boyfriend.

705
00:35:27,166 --> 00:35:28,541
Well, not anymore.

706
00:35:28,916 --> 00:35:31,000
Turns out he cheated on her
really horrifically.

707
00:35:31,083 --> 00:35:32,500
Oh, that's great, man.

708
00:35:32,583 --> 00:35:34,892
That's great. You should really
take your chance this time.

709
00:35:34,916 --> 00:35:36,416
Well, now I intend to.

710
00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:40,375
So, yes, Jim and Jeff
are hilarious.

711
00:35:40,458 --> 00:35:42,541
God, you're slinging 'em back,
aren't you?

712
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,458
- You know, if the situation calls for it.
- Oh, sure.

713
00:35:45,541 --> 00:35:46,375
Which it does.

714
00:35:46,458 --> 00:35:48,418
Were you allowed to drink
when you were kidnapped?

715
00:36:09,333 --> 00:36:11,053
Another time.
I must tell you this.

716
00:36:11,125 --> 00:36:13,416
I've parked my bike
and outside it's spring,

717
00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:15,375
and locked her up, and I go in,

718
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:17,000
open the door,

719
00:36:17,041 --> 00:36:18,041
and, um, syrup.

720
00:36:18,791 --> 00:36:19,791
- What?
- Syrup.

721
00:36:19,875 --> 00:36:21,833
- Syrup?
- Syrup all on the door handle.

722
00:36:21,916 --> 00:36:24,601
To the extent that there's syrup
actually on the floor underneath it.

723
00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:26,333
- On the carpet.
- Another Jeff bit?

724
00:36:26,416 --> 00:36:27,750
Jim. What, Jeff?

725
00:36:28,333 --> 00:36:29,833
I said, "Jeff bit," like Jeff...

726
00:36:29,916 --> 00:36:31,916
No, this is not Jeff. This is before Jeff.

727
00:36:32,458 --> 00:36:33,458
Oh, I'm sorry, I...

728
00:36:33,833 --> 00:36:35,041
Yeah, you're right, it's...

729
00:36:36,625 --> 00:36:38,750
This is Jim. Am I talking to myself?

730
00:36:38,833 --> 00:36:39,833
No.

731
00:36:39,958 --> 00:36:41,916
Jeff didn't start until 2008.

732
00:36:42,666 --> 00:36:43,666
No, hang on a minute.

733
00:36:43,708 --> 00:36:44,916
I'd got rid of the bike,

734
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,666
so he would've started in the spring...

735
00:36:47,750 --> 00:36:48,750
of...

736
00:36:48,791 --> 00:36:51,166
two thousand and...

737
00:36:51,708 --> 00:36:52,708
wait for it...

738
00:36:53,458 --> 00:36:55,767
- You know what? Don't worry about it.
- May as well get it.

739
00:36:55,791 --> 00:36:56,791
Bryan.

740
00:36:57,750 --> 00:36:59,458
Bryan, can you do me a favor, mate?

741
00:36:59,958 --> 00:37:02,791
Could you keep an eye on Marc?
If he moves, just come and grab me.

742
00:37:04,166 --> 00:37:05,958
I'm gonna make my move.

743
00:37:06,041 --> 00:37:07,041
Wish me luck.

744
00:37:07,291 --> 00:37:09,666
It was 2006, back on in...

745
00:37:09,750 --> 00:37:11,583
Yes, 2008. Yes, here he his.

746
00:37:11,666 --> 00:37:13,208
- Sorry to interrupt.
- Hello.

747
00:37:13,291 --> 00:37:16,750
Good, man. Um, just wondering if you
want to grab a drink at the bar.

748
00:37:16,833 --> 00:37:19,500
- I would love to. Excuse us.
- That sounds fantastic!

749
00:37:23,958 --> 00:37:24,958
Okay.

750
00:37:25,041 --> 00:37:27,625
- You coming, Jack?
- Yeah. Of course.

751
00:37:44,541 --> 00:37:45,875
Oh, Vitelli.

752
00:37:46,333 --> 00:37:48,375
- What? Where are you going?
- Vitelli.

753
00:37:48,625 --> 00:37:50,958
- Oh, do you want me to come with you?
- God, no.

754
00:37:51,875 --> 00:37:52,875
Cool.

755
00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:56,666
Oh... I told you...

756
00:37:58,708 --> 00:38:00,500
Mr... Mr. Vitelli.

757
00:38:01,416 --> 00:38:02,833
- Yeah?
- My name is Bryan.

758
00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:04,500
Oh, nice to meet you.

759
00:38:05,291 --> 00:38:06,291
Bryan?

760
00:38:09,541 --> 00:38:11,458
Mm. Sorry. Um...

761
00:38:11,541 --> 00:38:13,250
Would you mind if I sit down?

762
00:38:14,875 --> 00:38:16,166
I just want to sit down.

763
00:38:17,875 --> 00:38:19,195
It's okay, Bryan. Can I help you?

764
00:38:19,250 --> 00:38:20,541
- Oh, yes.
- Yeah?

765
00:38:20,625 --> 00:38:24,916
Mr. Vitelli, I just wanted to say
that I am such a huge fan.

766
00:38:25,458 --> 00:38:27,958
- Thank you. Thank you very much.
- No, really, I am.

767
00:38:28,208 --> 00:38:33,833
And I would just be fascinated
to understand where you get the...

768
00:38:35,125 --> 00:38:36,500
...idea for your films.

769
00:38:36,833 --> 00:38:38,250
- The ideas?
- The ideas.

770
00:38:38,333 --> 00:38:39,458
Oh, well...

771
00:38:39,541 --> 00:38:40,541
Uh...

772
00:38:40,916 --> 00:38:43,416
Well, you know,
the thing about ideas is that...

773
00:38:43,750 --> 00:38:44,750
Hmm.

774
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,500
...they're not created.

775
00:38:46,583 --> 00:38:48,500
They come to you just like...

776
00:38:49,083 --> 00:38:51,041
um, happy accidents.

777
00:38:51,583 --> 00:38:54,208
You know what I mean?
Inside you. Just really...

778
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,625
from somewhere inside you.
Some secret, dark...

779
00:38:58,333 --> 00:39:00,708
- Dark place.
- ...blind place inside of you.

780
00:39:00,791 --> 00:39:01,916
That's brilliant.

781
00:39:07,833 --> 00:39:08,833
Hey, man?

782
00:39:16,166 --> 00:39:17,166
Mm.

783
00:39:17,916 --> 00:39:18,916
Vitelli.

784
00:39:20,833 --> 00:39:23,166
- Okay, thank you for coming.
- Thank you.

785
00:39:23,250 --> 00:39:24,250
Thank you.

786
00:39:27,208 --> 00:39:29,125
- It's been nice to talk with you.
- Thank you.

787
00:39:29,208 --> 00:39:30,208
Yeah.

788
00:39:30,416 --> 00:39:31,416
Thank you.

789
00:39:35,458 --> 00:39:36,458
How'd it go?

790
00:39:36,750 --> 00:39:37,583
Hm?

791
00:39:37,666 --> 00:39:40,166
- Vitelli? How did it go?
- Yeah, all right.

792
00:39:40,250 --> 00:39:41,666
Oh, my God, I knew it.

793
00:39:41,750 --> 00:39:43,333
What a story. What a night.

794
00:39:43,416 --> 00:39:45,833
That is nuts.
I can see that you're buzzin'.

795
00:39:56,041 --> 00:39:58,458
Jeff's stood there, laughing.
He's still got the glove on.

796
00:39:58,541 --> 00:40:00,208
- Laughing behind the glove.
- Oh.

797
00:40:00,291 --> 00:40:02,375
Still, also with the purple track suit.

798
00:40:02,458 --> 00:40:05,708
And I'm like, "Yeah, that worked.
That worked. As planned."

799
00:40:05,791 --> 00:40:07,166
- Sidney, sorry.
- Mm.

800
00:40:07,833 --> 00:40:09,958
I'd hate to sound rude, but, um...

801
00:40:11,083 --> 00:40:12,541
I was just kind of hoping

802
00:40:12,625 --> 00:40:15,458
to have kind of a private chat.

803
00:40:15,541 --> 00:40:17,291
As in...

804
00:40:17,375 --> 00:40:18,583
just the two of us.

805
00:40:19,041 --> 00:40:20,041
Man to man.

806
00:40:21,791 --> 00:40:23,166
Would you mind just, um...?

807
00:40:26,708 --> 00:40:28,000
Okay, Sidney?

808
00:40:28,083 --> 00:40:30,916
- Yes, Jack?
- What I meant, uh...

809
00:40:31,666 --> 00:40:32,958
I meant Dina and me.

810
00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:37,250
So, where do I go?

811
00:40:37,333 --> 00:40:38,666
I mean, I don't know, man.

812
00:40:39,041 --> 00:40:40,166
Uh, over there?

813
00:40:40,583 --> 00:40:42,000
- Over there?
- Yeah.

814
00:40:46,416 --> 00:40:47,416
I'll pop off.

815
00:40:47,958 --> 00:40:50,291
Yeah, you're cool.
I'll see you in a minute.

816
00:40:50,375 --> 00:40:51,583
- You're cool, too.
- Okay.

817
00:40:53,125 --> 00:40:54,291
- Oh!
- I feel awful.

818
00:40:54,666 --> 00:40:56,250
That felt horrible.

819
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,125
Look at you, you're such a baller.

820
00:41:06,208 --> 00:41:09,291
You're so chilled out about it. I love it.
I think you're amazing.

821
00:41:09,375 --> 00:41:11,333
I actually do think you're amazing.

822
00:41:11,416 --> 00:41:12,416
But whatever, you know?

823
00:41:15,958 --> 00:41:17,398
<i>She loves you. She loves you!</i>

824
00:41:19,166 --> 00:41:20,166
She's yours.

825
00:41:21,083 --> 00:41:21,916
You got this.

826
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,208
<i>Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She definitely loves you.</i>

827
00:41:27,833 --> 00:41:31,333
Quickly, before Sidney gets back.
Just tell me what you've been up to.

828
00:41:31,416 --> 00:41:32,458
Quickly? Just tell you...

829
00:41:32,541 --> 00:41:35,083
Tell me everything you've done
in three years in ten seconds.

830
00:41:35,166 --> 00:41:36,291
- Just...
- Sid can do that.

831
00:41:36,375 --> 00:41:39,791
Since the last time I saw you,
I've had a failed relationship.

832
00:41:39,875 --> 00:41:41,750
Amanda, who's sat right next to me.

833
00:41:41,833 --> 00:41:43,125
Um...

834
00:41:43,208 --> 00:41:45,166
Then I went to Asia, traveled around,

835
00:41:45,250 --> 00:41:47,791
got a horrible disease, um, came back,

836
00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:50,750
and then I just recently qualified
as a structural engineer...

837
00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:52,666
at last.

838
00:41:52,750 --> 00:41:54,000
Hey! That was eight seconds!

839
00:41:54,083 --> 00:41:55,750
- You were actually counting?
- Mm-hmm.

840
00:41:55,833 --> 00:41:59,583
I mean, you have two seconds left,
but you don't have anything to fill.

841
00:41:59,666 --> 00:42:02,291
No, I really don't.
It's a sad, sad, sad admission.

842
00:42:02,375 --> 00:42:04,583
I mean, that's a lot of just... blah.

843
00:42:09,875 --> 00:42:11,750
- Hey.
- Sorry, just one second.

844
00:42:13,333 --> 00:42:14,541
You're... You're awake.

845
00:42:14,625 --> 00:42:16,041
I'm awake. Of course I'm awake.

846
00:42:16,125 --> 00:42:18,458
Why wouldn't I be awake?
Anyway, we need to talk.

847
00:42:20,083 --> 00:42:21,458
Right. Um, yes.

848
00:42:21,541 --> 00:42:24,381
Just as long as you're not going to say
that we're meant to be together.

849
00:42:24,583 --> 00:42:25,708
Oh, uh...

850
00:42:26,750 --> 00:42:27,870
We are meant to be together.

851
00:42:28,333 --> 00:42:30,041
What planet are you on, Marc?

852
00:42:30,750 --> 00:42:32,630
Do you want me to just tattoo it
on my forehead?

853
00:42:32,666 --> 00:42:34,291
I love Roberto.

854
00:42:34,583 --> 00:42:36,041
Uh, no.

855
00:42:37,666 --> 00:42:38,666
What do you mean, "no"?

856
00:42:38,750 --> 00:42:40,916
The connection between us is undeniable.

857
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,583
You're just scared of telling Roberto,
but it's okay, it's okay.

858
00:42:43,666 --> 00:42:46,583
He does need to know,
so you tell him, or I'll do it for you.

859
00:42:46,666 --> 00:42:48,791
<i>Signore e signori,</i>
ladies and gentlemen...

860
00:42:52,625 --> 00:42:54,708
We'll now have
our first dance

861
00:42:54,791 --> 00:42:56,083
with Hayley and Roberto.

862
00:42:58,666 --> 00:42:59,791
Please stay here.

863
00:43:32,958 --> 00:43:34,625
So, come on. Your turn.

864
00:43:35,041 --> 00:43:37,333
I was a foreign correspondent,
as you might remember.

865
00:43:37,416 --> 00:43:40,500
I went off to some very horrific places.

866
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,291
I saw a lot of people get shot.
I was kidnapped.

867
00:43:43,375 --> 00:43:44,291
Came back home.

868
00:43:44,375 --> 00:43:46,416
My mom got sick and died.

869
00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:48,208
And I found out that my boyfriend

870
00:43:48,291 --> 00:43:51,916
loves having sex with anything
with an available orifice, so...

871
00:43:54,416 --> 00:43:55,416
That's...

872
00:43:55,625 --> 00:43:56,833
- Wow.
- That's it.

873
00:43:57,833 --> 00:43:59,708
- Um...
- Yeah.

874
00:44:00,166 --> 00:44:01,166
I'm sorry.

875
00:44:01,458 --> 00:44:03,750
Oh, yeah, it's okay. It's just...
You know, it's life.

876
00:44:03,833 --> 00:44:06,125
No, I mean I'm sorry
that it was 12 seconds.

877
00:44:07,291 --> 00:44:08,291
So, that's...

878
00:44:08,625 --> 00:44:10,458
Oh, it means you lose.

879
00:44:11,083 --> 00:44:11,958
Wow.

880
00:44:12,041 --> 00:44:13,041
Well, let's...

881
00:44:13,625 --> 00:44:14,625
Hey, let's just hope...

882
00:44:15,375 --> 00:44:17,541
it's only good luck from now, right?

883
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,416
Yeah, fingers crossed.

884
00:44:31,625 --> 00:44:33,125
- Your dress!
- Sorry!

885
00:44:33,208 --> 00:44:35,791
- Where are we going?
- Just here is fine. Just here.

886
00:44:37,041 --> 00:44:38,541
- You okay?
- No, not really.

887
00:44:38,625 --> 00:44:40,875
- Marc is still totally fucking wide awake!
- What? How?

888
00:44:40,958 --> 00:44:42,666
Jesus, Jack. It was a simple plan.

889
00:44:42,750 --> 00:44:44,291
How did you mess this up?

890
00:44:44,375 --> 00:44:45,375
Hey!

891
00:44:45,458 --> 00:44:47,791
You do know this is my first time
spiking someone's drink.

892
00:44:47,875 --> 00:44:48,750
Shush!

893
00:44:48,833 --> 00:44:51,500
- I already feel awful about it, and now...
- Yeah, I know.

894
00:44:51,583 --> 00:44:55,125
Look, please, will you just make sure
he doesn't go anywhere near Roberto?

895
00:44:55,208 --> 00:44:56,458
I have to go and do something.

896
00:44:56,541 --> 00:44:58,916
- What do you have to go do?
- Just more fucking photos!

897
00:44:59,500 --> 00:45:00,791
How's it going with Dina?

898
00:45:01,250 --> 00:45:03,041
Yeah, no, it's good, it's good, it's good.

899
00:45:03,125 --> 00:45:04,333
- It's good.
- That's great.

900
00:45:04,416 --> 00:45:06,336
You know what, though?
It's like Mum used to say.

901
00:45:06,375 --> 00:45:08,416
You expect the worst,
but hope for the best,

902
00:45:08,500 --> 00:45:10,208
and I feel like this is our moment.

903
00:45:10,291 --> 00:45:12,458
- This is... This is...
- Yeah, that's great. Great.

904
00:45:21,291 --> 00:45:22,291
Hello, nads.

905
00:45:23,041 --> 00:45:24,041
Hello.

906
00:45:24,083 --> 00:45:25,125
- Hi.
- Hi.

907
00:45:25,208 --> 00:45:27,875
- I'm Cristina.
- Would you mind holding that, Cristina?

908
00:45:28,833 --> 00:45:30,125
I need to do a bit of, um...

909
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:33,000
a bit of admin.

910
00:45:34,375 --> 00:45:36,000
Kilt... Hang on.

911
00:45:37,166 --> 00:45:38,166
Sorry.

912
00:45:39,041 --> 00:45:40,125
Under the, uh...

913
00:45:41,208 --> 00:45:42,916
How do they bloody do this?

914
00:45:44,083 --> 00:45:46,541
That's wrapped 'round like nunchucks.

915
00:45:47,625 --> 00:45:48,625
Ah.

916
00:45:48,958 --> 00:45:49,958
Just unwrapping.

917
00:45:54,250 --> 00:45:55,416
Hm. Hey presto.

918
00:45:56,208 --> 00:45:58,083
Thank you. I'm Sidney.

919
00:45:58,166 --> 00:45:59,166
Okay.

920
00:45:59,625 --> 00:46:00,625
Okay.

921
00:46:01,208 --> 00:46:02,208
That's okay.

922
00:46:02,833 --> 00:46:03,833
Off she goes.

923
00:46:11,666 --> 00:46:12,666
Mm!

924
00:46:12,958 --> 00:46:14,458
Hey, man. Uh...

925
00:46:14,583 --> 00:46:15,416
All right?

926
00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:17,208
I was gonna say, well done back there.

927
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:18,833
Excuse me?

928
00:46:18,916 --> 00:46:20,291
No, it's the way you orchestrated

929
00:46:20,375 --> 00:46:22,855
that you'd be sitting next to Amanda
at the wedding.

930
00:46:23,750 --> 00:46:27,125
What, you think I wanted to sit next to
my ex-girlfriend at my sister's wedding?

931
00:46:27,208 --> 00:46:28,708
But I'm not a masochist.

932
00:46:28,791 --> 00:46:31,291
- Bit of a coincidence, though, isn't it?
- Is it, though?

933
00:46:31,375 --> 00:46:32,833
Yeah, it is. You know, yeah.

934
00:46:32,916 --> 00:46:35,666
Look, uh, mate, um...

935
00:46:35,750 --> 00:46:38,875
Amanda and I are totally, totally done.

936
00:46:38,958 --> 00:46:40,416
I mean, we went out for two years,

937
00:46:40,500 --> 00:46:42,740
but by the end of which,
we pretty much hated each other.

938
00:46:42,791 --> 00:46:44,311
So you're saying you hate her now, eh?

939
00:46:44,750 --> 00:46:47,083
- "Hate" is a strong word.
- You just said it.

940
00:46:47,166 --> 00:46:49,083
But definitely dislike.

941
00:46:49,666 --> 00:46:50,583
You be careful, mate.

942
00:46:50,666 --> 00:46:53,000
'Cause that's my future fiancée
you're talking about.

943
00:46:53,125 --> 00:46:55,083
- Really?
- What do you mean, "really?"

944
00:46:56,041 --> 00:46:58,708
Oh, what? Because I haven't got that?
Yeah?

945
00:46:59,083 --> 00:47:02,375
I couldn't fill those boots? Huh? What?
What went through your mind just then?

946
00:47:02,458 --> 00:47:04,000
"Oh, this guy in front of me

947
00:47:04,083 --> 00:47:06,601
has got a really tiny, weird penis
that everyone's laughing at."

948
00:47:06,625 --> 00:47:08,101
No, they're not. They're laughing at you.

949
00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:10,684
'Cause you're the weirdo
who's walking around with your big penis.

950
00:47:10,708 --> 00:47:13,625
"Oh, look at me!
I'm at a wedding with a big dick!

951
00:47:13,708 --> 00:47:15,875
Everyone respect me
because of my big penis!

952
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:18,333
Ooh! Oh, it's really girthy!
It's really girthy!

953
00:47:18,416 --> 00:47:20,125
Please like it! Please like it!"

954
00:47:23,041 --> 00:47:25,416
- I'm sorry, you completely lost me.
- Exactly.

955
00:47:25,750 --> 00:47:27,125
Stay away from her.

956
00:47:28,333 --> 00:47:29,500
- Okay.
- Good.

957
00:47:29,583 --> 00:47:30,666
- I will.
- Okay.

958
00:47:31,416 --> 00:47:32,500
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

959
00:47:32,583 --> 00:47:34,500
- Good chat.
- Yeah, great chat.

960
00:47:34,583 --> 00:47:36,333
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

961
00:47:37,041 --> 00:47:38,416
- All right.
- Yeah.

962
00:47:40,916 --> 00:47:42,041
Hey.

963
00:47:43,125 --> 00:47:45,458
- Hey, you.
- Is everything okay?

964
00:47:46,833 --> 00:47:48,083
Uh, yeah, yeah.

965
00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:51,833
- Do you want a drink?
- Yeah, no, I really do.

966
00:47:51,916 --> 00:47:54,333
I think I might change out the wine
and go for a gin and...

967
00:47:54,583 --> 00:47:55,583
Fuck.

968
00:47:56,041 --> 00:47:57,041
One sec.

969
00:48:00,041 --> 00:48:02,083
He wants a Gin and Fuck, please. Thanks.

970
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:06,125
I'm kidding.

971
00:48:13,166 --> 00:48:14,458
What are you doing?

972
00:48:14,541 --> 00:48:15,583
- Just here.
- Ow!

973
00:48:15,666 --> 00:48:16,833
I'm so sorry.

974
00:48:16,916 --> 00:48:18,125
Sorry. Sorry.

975
00:48:18,375 --> 00:48:20,958
Um... Why... No, okay.

976
00:48:21,041 --> 00:48:23,375
Just hold on one sec.

977
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,041
Sorry.

978
00:48:25,125 --> 00:48:27,083
I know you have this thing
for Hayley, right,

979
00:48:27,166 --> 00:48:29,958
but she doesn't feel the same,
so you need to accept that.

980
00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,666
Oh, oh, oh. Is that right?

981
00:48:31,750 --> 00:48:33,208
Then, um... hmm...

982
00:48:33,291 --> 00:48:36,125
how come we shagged three weeks ago?

983
00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:42,875
- What?
- That's right.

984
00:48:43,625 --> 00:48:45,916
Shagged.

985
00:48:46,291 --> 00:48:47,541
Just...

986
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,708
Okay, I really... I really don't know
what's happening here,

987
00:48:50,791 --> 00:48:52,166
but I do know that she's happy.

988
00:48:53,333 --> 00:48:55,416
Please, please don't ruin that.

989
00:48:55,500 --> 00:48:56,625
Okay, okay.

990
00:48:56,708 --> 00:48:58,875
But I'm gonna make her happy! Idiot!

991
00:48:58,958 --> 00:49:01,041
No, okay...

992
00:49:01,666 --> 00:49:02,791
Okay, okay...

993
00:49:03,291 --> 00:49:04,458
Oh, God, this is happening!

994
00:49:04,541 --> 00:49:07,041
I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

995
00:49:08,291 --> 00:49:11,000
- Ah, now, Jack...
- Sidney!

996
00:49:11,083 --> 00:49:13,625
I'm gonna nip back to the hotel,
put some trousers on.

997
00:49:13,708 --> 00:49:15,348
- The kilt's too much.
- Brilliant! Great!

998
00:49:15,375 --> 00:49:17,875
Could you just give me
a hand for just one second? Sidney!

999
00:49:17,958 --> 00:49:19,708
- Sidney!
- Yes. Yes, Jack.

1000
00:49:19,791 --> 00:49:21,333
- Sidney!
- Yes, I'm coming.

1001
00:49:22,041 --> 00:49:24,041
- I need to find a room.
- Yeah, what's going on?

1002
00:49:24,125 --> 00:49:25,458
I'll explain it later.

1003
00:49:26,208 --> 00:49:28,583
- I'm Federico Vitelli.
- Dina.

1004
00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:30,500
- Dina, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

1005
00:49:31,125 --> 00:49:32,125
I love your work.

1006
00:49:32,375 --> 00:49:33,291
Ah!

1007
00:49:33,375 --> 00:49:35,416
We're in! Okay.

1008
00:49:36,083 --> 00:49:37,000
- Sidney?
- Yes?

1009
00:49:37,083 --> 00:49:37,916
- That cupboard!
- Yes.

1010
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:39,708
- The other door, Sidney!
- Both doors?

1011
00:49:39,791 --> 00:49:41,291
There we go. Okay.

1012
00:49:42,208 --> 00:49:43,208
Wowzers!

1013
00:49:43,250 --> 00:49:45,333
- Please don't put me in the cupboard!
- Bye-bye!

1014
00:49:45,416 --> 00:49:47,184
I think Jim has that painting.

1015
00:49:47,208 --> 00:49:49,250
- Yeah!
- Lovely stuff.

1016
00:49:49,875 --> 00:49:52,333
Please! Help!

1017
00:49:57,541 --> 00:49:58,541
Hello.

1018
00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,683
Can I borrow you for a sec?

1019
00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:02,041
Uh, yeah, sure.

1020
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:03,708
Um, sorry.

1021
00:50:04,250 --> 00:50:05,250
Sorry.

1022
00:50:06,166 --> 00:50:07,166
Jack?

1023
00:50:09,125 --> 00:50:10,125
All right.

1024
00:50:10,375 --> 00:50:11,875
I want an answer, and I want it now.

1025
00:50:12,125 --> 00:50:13,541
About what, Chaz?

1026
00:50:13,625 --> 00:50:15,083
Just the whole marriage thing.

1027
00:50:15,166 --> 00:50:17,666
Look, is it because of your ex-boyfriend?
Is that the issue?

1028
00:50:17,750 --> 00:50:19,500
Oh, God! Don't be ridiculous!

1029
00:50:20,166 --> 00:50:21,583
All right, good, 'cause, um...

1030
00:50:21,958 --> 00:50:23,208
he said he hated you, so...

1031
00:50:24,583 --> 00:50:25,583
Mmm.

1032
00:50:27,458 --> 00:50:28,458
That's good stuff.

1033
00:50:31,333 --> 00:50:32,333
He what?

1034
00:50:37,500 --> 00:50:38,375
Help me!

1035
00:50:38,458 --> 00:50:39,833
I'm in the cupboard!

1036
00:50:40,125 --> 00:50:41,125
Hello!

1037
00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:53,083
What?

1038
00:50:53,583 --> 00:50:56,041
So, I just heard something
a little bit weird.

1039
00:50:56,375 --> 00:50:59,583
Apparently, you shagged
Marc Fisher three weeks ago.

1040
00:51:01,208 --> 00:51:02,208
Did he say that?

1041
00:51:02,791 --> 00:51:05,250
You know, that really is unbelievable.
I mean, the nerve!

1042
00:51:05,333 --> 00:51:08,083
My God! You are the worst liar
in the entire world!

1043
00:51:08,166 --> 00:51:09,375
What were you thinking?

1044
00:51:09,458 --> 00:51:12,208
I know, I really fucked up.
It was an accident.

1045
00:51:12,916 --> 00:51:14,333
- Hello!
- Hello.

1046
00:51:17,708 --> 00:51:19,958
How the hell do you have sex
with someone by accident?

1047
00:51:20,041 --> 00:51:20,916
How does that happen?

1048
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,541
Shh. Please. Let me explain.

1049
00:51:22,625 --> 00:51:24,585
You know when I came to London
a couple weeks ago,

1050
00:51:24,666 --> 00:51:26,351
and I was really fucking stressed
about the wedding?

1051
00:51:26,375 --> 00:51:28,375
I went to the pub,
and I had a couple of drinks,

1052
00:51:28,458 --> 00:51:30,125
and who walks in but Marc Fisher.

1053
00:51:30,208 --> 00:51:32,041
We start chatting,
we had a couple of shots,

1054
00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:34,517
and before we know it,
one thing leads to another, all right?

1055
00:51:34,541 --> 00:51:36,291
But it didn't mean anything, Jack.

1056
00:51:36,750 --> 00:51:40,458
Of course, it turns out that he's been
obsessed with me since we were 15.

1057
00:51:40,541 --> 00:51:43,125
Fifteen, Jack, and nothing ever happened.

1058
00:51:43,208 --> 00:51:46,017
Yeah, we snogged a couple of times.
Maybe he felt my tits. I don't know.

1059
00:51:46,041 --> 00:51:48,802
- Maybe I rubbed him up against his jeans.
- I don't need the details.

1060
00:51:48,875 --> 00:51:49,875
Sorry.

1061
00:51:50,625 --> 00:51:52,708
Jesus, Hayley.
I thought you loved Roberto.

1062
00:51:52,791 --> 00:51:54,791
Oh, my God. I do.

1063
00:51:55,208 --> 00:51:57,000
I do. More than anything.

1064
00:51:57,958 --> 00:51:59,500
He can never find out.

1065
00:52:00,041 --> 00:52:01,208
It would kill him.

1066
00:52:01,875 --> 00:52:03,208
Ladies and gentlemen,

1067
00:52:03,291 --> 00:52:07,375
now we'll have the speech
of the maid of honor, Bryan.

1068
00:52:10,333 --> 00:52:11,375
Where is Bryan?

1069
00:52:17,625 --> 00:52:18,625
Bryan.

1070
00:52:19,833 --> 00:52:22,375
Oh! Hey, hey. How you doing, man?

1071
00:52:22,791 --> 00:52:23,791
Okay.

1072
00:52:23,875 --> 00:52:24,875
Um...

1073
00:52:25,333 --> 00:52:27,916
- They're calling to do your speech.
- Speech?

1074
00:52:28,541 --> 00:52:30,791
The speech you have to do
for the wedding, remember?

1075
00:52:30,875 --> 00:52:32,000
- What wedding?
- This one.

1076
00:52:32,083 --> 00:52:34,375
The one we're at. Hayley's wedding.
You're maid of honor.

1077
00:52:34,458 --> 00:52:36,418
- Man of honor, yeah.
- Yeah, right, right, right.

1078
00:52:36,458 --> 00:52:39,750
- You wanted to impress Vitelli, remember?
- Oh, yeah, Vitelli.

1079
00:52:42,708 --> 00:52:43,958
Where is he?

1080
00:52:45,708 --> 00:52:46,750
Oh!

1081
00:52:53,625 --> 00:52:54,833
Whoa, whoa, hey.

1082
00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:15,375
Mm.

1083
00:53:19,041 --> 00:53:21,458
Why are all these people
looking at me?

1084
00:53:26,625 --> 00:53:27,625
Oh.

1085
00:53:28,125 --> 00:53:30,083
This dream just gets weirder and weirder.

1086
00:53:35,875 --> 00:53:37,250
Even Vitelli.

1087
00:53:38,625 --> 00:53:40,083
The Italian film director.

1088
00:53:41,458 --> 00:53:43,125
Yeah, he's good-looking, isn't he?

1089
00:53:44,625 --> 00:53:45,750
I fancy him a bit, but...

1090
00:53:47,250 --> 00:53:48,625
I'm not even gay, but...

1091
00:53:50,041 --> 00:53:51,083
I'd do it anyway.

1092
00:53:51,666 --> 00:53:52,666
Mm.

1093
00:53:53,416 --> 00:53:55,750
I wish he'd give me a part
in one of his films, though.

1094
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,000
Just a part.

1095
00:53:58,416 --> 00:53:59,541
Just a little part.

1096
00:54:01,291 --> 00:54:02,291
I'd do it good.

1097
00:54:02,791 --> 00:54:03,875
I'd do it good for you.

1098
00:54:07,416 --> 00:54:09,458
Just give me a part, you bastard!

1099
00:54:19,166 --> 00:54:20,166
That's cake.

1100
00:54:23,125 --> 00:54:24,125
Dream cake.

1101
00:54:26,958 --> 00:54:28,083
Bryan, Bryan...

1102
00:54:37,833 --> 00:54:39,375
- I'll just...
- No!

1103
00:54:39,458 --> 00:54:41,458
I'm just gonna take you
to the toilet, okay?

1104
00:54:41,541 --> 00:54:43,916
An applause for the maid of honor.

1105
00:54:48,375 --> 00:54:49,375
Yeah. Hm.

1106
00:54:53,833 --> 00:54:54,916
Help!

1107
00:54:55,541 --> 00:54:56,958
Help!

1108
00:54:58,166 --> 00:54:59,500
Help!

1109
00:55:01,125 --> 00:55:02,916
Help! Help! Help!

1110
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,291
Help! Help! Help!

1111
00:55:05,666 --> 00:55:06,666
Anybody!

1112
00:55:09,208 --> 00:55:10,708
Oh.

1113
00:55:14,208 --> 00:55:15,208
Thanks.

1114
00:55:15,916 --> 00:55:17,083
That beautiful cake.

1115
00:55:20,291 --> 00:55:22,011
What? What's wrong?

1116
00:55:22,541 --> 00:55:25,375
Oh, my God. I've got a crisis at work.
I have to leave.

1117
00:55:25,916 --> 00:55:28,875
- We can take my car if you want.
- Oh, my God, that would be amazing.

1118
00:55:28,958 --> 00:55:31,500
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah. Let's go.

1119
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:33,375
I'll see you out there.

1120
00:55:40,916 --> 00:55:42,625
Hayley, hi. <i>Scusi.</i>

1121
00:55:42,708 --> 00:55:44,000
I have to leave. I'm so sorry.

1122
00:55:44,083 --> 00:55:45,309
- Oh, no!
- Something at my work.

1123
00:55:45,333 --> 00:55:46,708
Oh, okay. Look, don't worry.

1124
00:55:47,166 --> 00:55:49,000
Dina's leaving. Come on, go.

1125
00:55:50,208 --> 00:55:51,208
- Okay.
- Oh, God!

1126
00:55:51,291 --> 00:55:52,291
Um...

1127
00:55:53,333 --> 00:55:55,333
Yeah, uh, sit down. Sit down, Bryan.

1128
00:55:56,625 --> 00:55:57,791
Oh, my God.

1129
00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:00,500
Okay.

1130
00:56:00,750 --> 00:56:01,750
Bye, Bryan.

1131
00:56:02,500 --> 00:56:03,500
Bye.

1132
00:56:08,333 --> 00:56:09,333
Dina?

1133
00:56:09,875 --> 00:56:11,958
Jack. Hi. I was looking for you.

1134
00:56:12,041 --> 00:56:13,976
- You're not going, are you?
- I know. I'm so sorry.

1135
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,640
I was trying to say goodbye.
There's been this hurricane in Mexico.

1136
00:56:16,666 --> 00:56:18,642
I gotta get back 'cause
my editor has food poisoning.

1137
00:56:18,666 --> 00:56:20,333
It's a long story, but I'm so sorry.

1138
00:56:20,416 --> 00:56:23,458
But maybe we can
get together another time or...

1139
00:56:23,541 --> 00:56:26,916
Will you be in Mexico
or Guadalajara anytime soon?

1140
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:29,250
Look, I just have to say something. Um...

1141
00:56:29,666 --> 00:56:30,666
Yeah.

1142
00:56:31,125 --> 00:56:32,333
Listen. I...

1143
00:56:32,416 --> 00:56:33,791
Ha! There he is!

1144
00:56:33,875 --> 00:56:36,708
- So, you hate me, huh?
- What?

1145
00:56:36,791 --> 00:56:39,041
- Chaz just told me you hate me.
- I didn't say "hate."

1146
00:56:39,125 --> 00:56:40,166
Well, you did say, so...

1147
00:56:40,250 --> 00:56:43,541
Okay, no, I did say "hate,"

1148
00:56:43,625 --> 00:56:44,916
but then I changed it.

1149
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:46,083
Yeah, to "dislike."

1150
00:56:46,166 --> 00:56:49,708
- Aww, that's so sweet of you, Jack.
- You don't like me either!

1151
00:56:49,791 --> 00:56:53,291
Why do we have to pretend our relationship
was anything other than the misery it was?

1152
00:56:57,375 --> 00:57:00,000
- Right?
- Okay. Yeah, okay.

1153
00:57:00,125 --> 00:57:02,458
I guess you make a fair point.

1154
00:57:03,250 --> 00:57:04,583
- Thank you.
<i>- </i>Yeah.

1155
00:57:05,041 --> 00:57:06,208
Just one more thing.

1156
00:57:06,291 --> 00:57:08,708
- What?
- Oh my God! Jack!

1157
00:57:08,791 --> 00:57:10,625
You are a piece of shit!

1158
00:57:10,708 --> 00:57:12,208
Jack, are you okay?

1159
00:57:12,291 --> 00:57:13,541
Oh, my God. Jack, wait.

1160
00:57:13,625 --> 00:57:15,083
Yes, I will marry you, Chaz.

1161
00:57:15,166 --> 00:57:16,833
Yeah, I don't know if I...

1162
00:57:17,125 --> 00:57:17,958
Um...

1163
00:57:18,041 --> 00:57:19,083
Let me just...

1164
00:57:19,583 --> 00:57:21,226
- Woo!
- My nose bleeds all the time!

1165
00:57:28,625 --> 00:57:29,666
Hayley and I shagged!

1166
00:57:30,666 --> 00:57:32,934
- What did he say?
- No!

1167
00:57:32,958 --> 00:57:34,833
But what is he doing?

1168
00:57:35,458 --> 00:57:38,017
Sorry, but it's true, Hayley and I shagged,
and we love each other.

1169
00:57:38,041 --> 00:57:39,916
Hayley, come on. Tell them.

1170
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:41,458
Get the hell off the stage.

1171
00:57:45,541 --> 00:57:47,750
Hayley! Hayley! Hayley!

1172
00:57:48,875 --> 00:57:51,041
- No, you go. You go save the world.
- I'm so sorry.

1173
00:57:51,333 --> 00:57:52,416
It always bleeds.

1174
00:57:53,541 --> 00:57:54,541
It's fine.

1175
00:57:55,166 --> 00:57:56,416
Go.

1176
00:57:56,500 --> 00:57:57,666
- I'll text you.
- Yeah.

1177
00:57:58,083 --> 00:57:59,500
Damn it.

1178
00:57:59,583 --> 00:58:01,500
Go. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

1179
00:58:01,750 --> 00:58:02,750
Pfft!

1180
00:58:06,375 --> 00:58:08,208
Hayley!

1181
00:58:08,291 --> 00:58:09,541
Hayley!

1182
00:58:14,250 --> 00:58:15,250
Is it true?

1183
00:58:25,541 --> 00:58:26,583
Listen...

1184
00:58:26,666 --> 00:58:27,666
No...

1185
00:58:35,416 --> 00:58:37,666
Come on, take a seat.

1186
00:58:46,708 --> 00:58:47,833
Vitelli...

1187
00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:49,500
Vitelli...

1188
00:58:50,208 --> 00:58:51,333
Vitelli...

1189
00:58:52,208 --> 00:58:53,833
Give us a part, you bastard.

1190
00:59:02,916 --> 00:59:04,125
Oh, shit.

1191
00:59:09,458 --> 00:59:10,750
Roberto, please.

1192
00:59:11,291 --> 00:59:12,625
Please just talk to me.

1193
00:59:14,208 --> 00:59:15,875
I can't believe it. How could you do it?

1194
00:59:16,333 --> 00:59:18,541
- It's a fucking nightmare, Hayley.
- I know.

1195
00:59:18,625 --> 00:59:21,375
It was such a mistake, and I'm so sorry,
and I love you more than...

1196
00:59:21,458 --> 00:59:22,791
No, it's over.

1197
00:59:22,875 --> 00:59:26,142
- Please, let me just explain it to you.
- No, no, no. I don't want to talk to you.

1198
00:59:26,166 --> 00:59:28,166
Never. Never again. It's over.

1199
00:59:28,625 --> 00:59:30,375
- This wedding is over!
- Roberto!

1200
00:59:30,458 --> 00:59:31,541
Oh, my God!

1201
00:59:37,250 --> 00:59:38,500
<i>And there we go.</i>

1202
00:59:39,416 --> 00:59:42,541
<i>One bit of bad luck
and it all goes tits up.</i>

1203
00:59:43,666 --> 00:59:45,750
<i>But what if things had gone differently?</i>

1204
00:59:46,958 --> 00:59:50,000
<i>Remember what I was saying
about the thousands of ways</i>

1205
00:59:50,083 --> 00:59:52,250
<i>eight people can sit around a table?</i>

1206
01:00:51,125 --> 01:00:52,125
Cheers.

1207
01:00:52,708 --> 01:00:53,708
Cheers.

1208
01:00:54,125 --> 01:00:55,375
<i>And then, finally,</i>

1209
01:00:55,791 --> 01:00:59,291
<i>there's just one last hope
that it might all go right.</i>

1210
01:01:00,750 --> 01:01:02,041
Hey, uh, everyone.

1211
01:01:11,958 --> 01:01:12,958
Oh, fuck.

1212
01:01:15,166 --> 01:01:16,916
- What's the matter?
- Oh, fuck!

1213
01:01:17,291 --> 01:01:18,125
Jack?

1214
01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:20,833
Oh, shit!

1215
01:01:21,291 --> 01:01:23,451
- Jack, what's...
- I'm not supposed to be here.

1216
01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:24,750
What? Jack.

1217
01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:29,375
Sorry, sorry...

1218
01:01:29,458 --> 01:01:30,541
Sorry.

1219
01:01:31,041 --> 01:01:32,041
Fuck!

1220
01:01:32,750 --> 01:01:34,166
Excuse us. <i>Scusi.</i>

1221
01:01:49,083 --> 01:01:50,791
What on earth are you doing?

1222
01:01:50,875 --> 01:01:52,750
I've just taken a really strong sedative.

1223
01:01:52,833 --> 01:01:55,708
That's a really weird thing
to do at your sister's wedding.

1224
01:01:55,791 --> 01:01:57,958
Well, I didn't do it on purpose, you tit!

1225
01:01:59,250 --> 01:02:00,791
Stop it, Jack. You're making me sick.

1226
01:02:00,875 --> 01:02:03,416
Jesus! How do you make this
fingers-down-the-throat thing work?

1227
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:05,500
Oh, I can't... I can't do it.

1228
01:02:06,041 --> 01:02:08,625
Look, you have to help me.
Put your fingers down my throat.

1229
01:02:09,458 --> 01:02:12,041
- What?
- I can't do it myself. I just...

1230
01:02:12,125 --> 01:02:13,645
I need you to do it for me, all right?

1231
01:02:13,708 --> 01:02:16,375
You've got those big, long, weird,
gangly fingers.

1232
01:02:16,458 --> 01:02:18,291
They'll go further down my throat.

1233
01:02:18,375 --> 01:02:21,166
I've got to go impress Vitelli.
I can't be getting involved in this.

1234
01:02:21,250 --> 01:02:23,226
What's Dina gonna think
if I start falling asleep at the table?

1235
01:02:23,250 --> 01:02:26,250
- She's gonna think I'm a total fuck-wit!
- Yeah.

1236
01:02:26,333 --> 01:02:27,916
Please, Bryan, for me.

1237
01:02:28,375 --> 01:02:30,791
- I don't want to.
- I really need you to do this for me.

1238
01:02:30,875 --> 01:02:32,333
I really don't want to.

1239
01:02:32,458 --> 01:02:33,916
Please, it's Hayley's wedding.

1240
01:02:38,583 --> 01:02:40,583
- Okay, okay.
- Okay.

1241
01:02:40,666 --> 01:02:42,791
But I want you to remember
what a good friend I am.

1242
01:02:42,875 --> 01:02:44,583
Okay, yeah. Great friend.

1243
01:02:44,666 --> 01:02:47,166
<i>- Best </i>friend.
- Best friend. You're my best friend.

1244
01:02:52,333 --> 01:02:54,958
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. and Mrs. Carboni.

1245
01:03:02,833 --> 01:03:05,125
How do you... How do you want to...

1246
01:03:05,208 --> 01:03:07,208
- No!
- Just give me your fucking fingers.

1247
01:03:07,291 --> 01:03:08,976
- Okay, okay, okay!
- Just keep 'em straight.

1248
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:09,916
I am.

1249
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,291
No!

1250
01:03:12,375 --> 01:03:14,208
No, no, no!

1251
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,458
Oh, God!
This is the worst moment of my life.

1252
01:03:18,083 --> 01:03:19,000
Oh, no!

1253
01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:23,125
Oh.

1254
01:03:25,500 --> 01:03:26,625
Uh...

1255
01:03:26,708 --> 01:03:28,541
Uh, sorry... No, I was just...

1256
01:03:28,625 --> 01:03:31,250
I just wanted to check to see
if you guys were good. You good?

1257
01:03:31,750 --> 01:03:32,750
Good? Uh...

1258
01:03:33,500 --> 01:03:35,583
Yeah, I can... I'm gonna find...
I'm just gonna...

1259
01:03:35,666 --> 01:03:37,500
I'm gonna... I'm gonna find something...

1260
01:04:04,708 --> 01:04:05,708
Um...

1261
01:04:05,833 --> 01:04:06,953
Great. Thank you. Could I...

1262
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:08,666
Could I also grab, um...

1263
01:04:09,291 --> 01:04:10,416
some coffees?

1264
01:04:10,875 --> 01:04:12,195
- Thanks.
- I have no idea.

1265
01:04:17,958 --> 01:04:19,458
Look, I'd wish you'd never...

1266
01:04:19,541 --> 01:04:21,041
Can we just pretend that,

1267
01:04:21,125 --> 01:04:23,205
you know, whatever you saw back there
never happened?

1268
01:04:23,916 --> 01:04:25,541
It's a pretty enduring image.

1269
01:04:25,625 --> 01:04:27,166
Kind of hard to forget.

1270
01:04:28,166 --> 01:04:29,916
Right. Uh, no.

1271
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:31,583
There's... There's a totally...

1272
01:04:32,333 --> 01:04:34,291
totally reasonable explanation for that.

1273
01:04:34,375 --> 01:04:35,375
It's a funny story.

1274
01:04:35,625 --> 01:04:37,291
Really. Very funny.

1275
01:04:38,041 --> 01:04:41,416
And I will tell you about it,
just not today.

1276
01:04:41,750 --> 01:04:43,875
Could we just try to forget it?

1277
01:04:48,125 --> 01:04:49,250
Yeah, I can try.

1278
01:04:49,333 --> 01:04:50,500
- Good, good.
- Okay.

1279
01:04:50,833 --> 01:04:52,393
That was... It was weird. It was weird.

1280
01:04:52,708 --> 01:04:54,208
Yeah. I know.

1281
01:04:54,291 --> 01:04:55,833
- But...
- I'm sorry. So, come on.

1282
01:04:55,916 --> 01:04:58,625
You were about to tell me...

1283
01:04:59,416 --> 01:05:01,625
what you've been up to
since I last saw you.

1284
01:05:01,708 --> 01:05:04,875
Okay, well, I guess the main thing
has been work. Uh...

1285
01:05:04,958 --> 01:05:06,833
You know, it's taken everything.

1286
01:05:07,291 --> 01:05:10,958
Honestly. I mean, I only really
stopped and looked up

1287
01:05:11,041 --> 01:05:12,208
when my mom got sick.

1288
01:05:16,458 --> 01:05:18,708
Is my mom's terminal cancer boring you?

1289
01:05:18,791 --> 01:05:21,000
No. No, it's not.

1290
01:05:22,083 --> 01:05:23,083
Carry on.

1291
01:05:23,541 --> 01:05:24,583
- You sure?
- Yeah.

1292
01:05:25,833 --> 01:05:26,833
Okay.

1293
01:05:27,750 --> 01:05:28,750
Um...

1294
01:05:32,583 --> 01:05:33,416
You know, I...

1295
01:05:33,500 --> 01:05:37,875
I had... I know told you how
she and I were really close, and, um...

1296
01:05:38,083 --> 01:05:39,083
Hm.

1297
01:05:39,416 --> 01:05:40,583
Well, you know, it just...

1298
01:05:42,375 --> 01:05:44,458
You know, the whole thing was just

1299
01:05:44,541 --> 01:05:47,083
a really huge punch to the gut, honestly.

1300
01:05:49,541 --> 01:05:50,916
Uh...

1301
01:05:54,416 --> 01:05:57,750
The truth is, I just can't get over
the randomness of it, you know?

1302
01:05:59,916 --> 01:06:00,916
Like, why her?

1303
01:06:02,708 --> 01:06:03,625
Yeah, why?

1304
01:06:03,708 --> 01:06:04,750
You know, I don't, um...

1305
01:06:05,791 --> 01:06:07,231
I don't normally...

1306
01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:11,375
talk to people about this
because it just feels really weird, but...

1307
01:06:11,458 --> 01:06:12,458
Mm-hmm?

1308
01:06:14,083 --> 01:06:16,041
You know,
I'm really devastated by it.

1309
01:06:19,291 --> 01:06:21,375
I don't really think I'm over it, and I...

1310
01:06:24,125 --> 01:06:27,500
The truth is, I don't think I'll ever
really be over it, you know?

1311
01:06:30,958 --> 01:06:32,666
Are you fucking kidding me?

1312
01:06:44,916 --> 01:06:46,166
Sorry. One second.

1313
01:06:46,250 --> 01:06:49,166
- Why are you awake?
- Why am I awake? Why wouldn't I be awake?

1314
01:06:53,041 --> 01:06:54,041
Ah.

1315
01:06:54,875 --> 01:06:55,916
Shots!

1316
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:57,840
- Shots?
- Shots, shots, shots, shots!

1317
01:06:57,875 --> 01:06:59,833
- She's saying shots.
- Shots! Shots! Shots!

1318
01:06:59,916 --> 01:07:01,125
Get this lady a shot.

1319
01:07:03,041 --> 01:07:04,291
All right.

1320
01:07:05,125 --> 01:07:06,916
- Maddie Richards.
- What?

1321
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,583
Maddie Richards never had any complaints
about me in the bedroom.

1322
01:07:09,666 --> 01:07:12,625
She always said I was
a solid 7.5 out of 10.

1323
01:07:13,125 --> 01:07:15,500
And most of the time,
I didn't even have a full erection,

1324
01:07:15,583 --> 01:07:17,208
so imagine what you're getting.

1325
01:07:20,791 --> 01:07:22,125
I'm so lucky, right?

1326
01:07:22,583 --> 01:07:24,250
Well done. Well done.

1327
01:07:24,333 --> 01:07:25,666
Yeah, well, you are lucky, and...

1328
01:07:26,666 --> 01:07:27,791
you should feel lucky.

1329
01:07:29,458 --> 01:07:31,250
Come on, come on, come on.

1330
01:07:31,333 --> 01:07:33,375
Just go over and say hello for God's sake.

1331
01:07:49,291 --> 01:07:50,458
Bryan, fuck off.

1332
01:07:54,541 --> 01:07:55,541
Jack.

1333
01:07:56,541 --> 01:07:57,916
Jack. Jack.

1334
01:07:58,458 --> 01:07:59,458
Hm?

1335
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:02,000
Jack!

1336
01:08:03,250 --> 01:08:04,791
Wassup?

1337
01:08:05,250 --> 01:08:07,166
So, Chaz asked me to marry him.

1338
01:08:13,791 --> 01:08:16,083
I said, Chaz asked me to marry him.

1339
01:08:17,083 --> 01:08:18,083
Oh, congrats.

1340
01:08:33,208 --> 01:08:34,208
Oh, fuck.

1341
01:08:45,916 --> 01:08:48,083
Uh... what d'you want?

1342
01:08:49,916 --> 01:08:50,916
Dude.

1343
01:08:51,791 --> 01:08:53,625
Don't ruin my sister's wedding, all right?

1344
01:08:53,708 --> 01:08:55,000
It's out of order.

1345
01:08:55,333 --> 01:08:57,500
I'm not ruining anything.

1346
01:08:59,666 --> 01:09:01,125
I'm saving her.

1347
01:09:02,250 --> 01:09:04,791
<i>Signore e signori,</i>
ladies and gentlemen...

1348
01:09:05,208 --> 01:09:06,208
No, Marc.

1349
01:09:08,250 --> 01:09:12,083
We'll now have our first dance
with Hayley and Roberto.

1350
01:09:34,708 --> 01:09:35,708
Jack.

1351
01:09:36,750 --> 01:09:37,750
Jack.

1352
01:09:39,291 --> 01:09:41,333
- Come on.
- Hey, Bryan.

1353
01:09:41,416 --> 01:09:43,041
Get up, Jack.

1354
01:09:46,291 --> 01:09:47,583
Oh, my God.

1355
01:09:47,958 --> 01:09:49,458
Jack, come on.

1356
01:09:55,833 --> 01:09:56,833
Jack.

1357
01:09:58,375 --> 01:09:59,375
Jack.

1358
01:10:01,125 --> 01:10:02,125
Jack!

1359
01:10:02,375 --> 01:10:04,166
Ow! What are you doing?

1360
01:10:04,250 --> 01:10:05,375
I'm trying to help you.

1361
01:10:05,458 --> 01:10:07,125
By whacking me in the face?

1362
01:10:07,208 --> 01:10:09,125
Fine. Go to sleep, then. I'm just...

1363
01:10:09,208 --> 01:10:11,625
No, look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1364
01:10:11,708 --> 01:10:13,000
I know you're trying to help.

1365
01:10:13,083 --> 01:10:14,666
I'm just really stressed.

1366
01:10:14,750 --> 01:10:16,666
Hayley's in a really big mess.

1367
01:10:16,750 --> 01:10:19,541
Look, you're always getting Hayley
out some mess or other.

1368
01:10:19,625 --> 01:10:22,166
Well, yeah, she's my sister. She needs me.

1369
01:10:24,833 --> 01:10:27,375
Also, I think Dina hates me.

1370
01:10:27,875 --> 01:10:28,875
Why?

1371
01:10:30,916 --> 01:10:34,166
I was falling asleep as she was telling me
about her mum dying.

1372
01:10:34,500 --> 01:10:35,583
Oh, man.

1373
01:10:36,416 --> 01:10:38,166
- Yeesh.
- Yeah.

1374
01:10:39,666 --> 01:10:40,833
I'm such an arsehole.

1375
01:10:40,916 --> 01:10:42,583
No, you're not an arsehole, Jack.

1376
01:10:43,416 --> 01:10:44,416
- I am.
- You're not.

1377
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,000
I think you might be
the best person I know.

1378
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:50,416
But you can't keep putting
everybody else first.

1379
01:10:51,333 --> 01:10:52,708
I'm worried about you, man.

1380
01:10:55,916 --> 01:10:56,916
Yeah.

1381
01:11:00,333 --> 01:11:01,666
I love you, man.

1382
01:11:03,250 --> 01:11:05,916
- Yeah, all right.
- No, I mean... No, no.

1383
01:11:10,041 --> 01:11:11,416
I properly love you.

1384
01:11:12,375 --> 01:11:14,000
More than just a mate, you know?

1385
01:11:15,958 --> 01:11:17,583
Yeah... All right...

1386
01:11:24,666 --> 01:11:26,250
Hey!

1387
01:11:26,333 --> 01:11:27,333
You told Roberto yet?

1388
01:11:27,375 --> 01:11:30,291
- I haven't. Piss off.
- I'll give you till the cake comes out.

1389
01:11:38,333 --> 01:11:39,333
Oh, my God.

1390
01:11:40,083 --> 01:11:41,833
Jack, come with me.

1391
01:11:41,916 --> 01:11:43,708
- Come on.
- Oh, come on. I'm too tired.

1392
01:11:43,791 --> 01:11:44,875
Up you get. Come on.

1393
01:11:45,541 --> 01:11:47,541
You've taken the sleep drops,
haven't you?

1394
01:11:47,583 --> 01:11:48,666
- Hmm?
- Jack!

1395
01:11:50,416 --> 01:11:51,791
You total bell end.

1396
01:11:51,875 --> 01:11:54,000
- Please wake up.
- I'm so awake.

1397
01:11:54,083 --> 01:11:55,916
- Walking!
- I am walking.

1398
01:11:57,500 --> 01:11:58,791
- Honestly.
- I am walking.

1399
01:11:59,833 --> 01:12:03,750
- Where are you taking me?
- Just somewhere private.

1400
01:12:04,791 --> 01:12:06,166
This is so private.

1401
01:12:08,375 --> 01:12:10,000
Jack, please.

1402
01:12:10,083 --> 01:12:12,666
- Ow! Why does everyone keep hitting me?
- I need you.

1403
01:12:12,750 --> 01:12:13,583
Why?

1404
01:12:13,666 --> 01:12:16,541
I mean, look, is this really
such a big deal?

1405
01:12:16,625 --> 01:12:18,541
Like, can't we just relax and go to sleep?

1406
01:12:18,875 --> 01:12:20,583
Marc is gonna tell Roberto...

1407
01:12:21,500 --> 01:12:23,000
that I had sex with him.

1408
01:12:23,541 --> 01:12:26,250
But, like, from when you were younger?

1409
01:12:31,500 --> 01:12:33,541
- How recently?
- A few weeks ago.

1410
01:12:33,625 --> 01:12:34,625
Oh, Jesus.

1411
01:12:35,291 --> 01:12:37,333
And Roberto is gonna leave me!
And I deserve it!

1412
01:12:37,416 --> 01:12:39,583
Because I fuck everything up!

1413
01:12:39,666 --> 01:12:41,458
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do! Yes!

1414
01:12:41,541 --> 01:12:43,708
I'm a colossal loser!

1415
01:12:43,791 --> 01:12:45,958
You are not a loser.

1416
01:12:47,625 --> 01:12:48,625
All right?

1417
01:12:49,041 --> 01:12:50,666
You are my sister.

1418
01:12:52,750 --> 01:12:56,125
And you're the funniest, most brilliant,
most caring person in the world.

1419
01:12:56,208 --> 01:13:00,583
And if it turns out that Roberto can't
forgive you for a really stupid mistake...

1420
01:13:00,666 --> 01:13:03,125
- Oh, Jack!
- But... No, listen, listen, listen.

1421
01:13:03,208 --> 01:13:05,625
If he can't...
Look, if he can't forgive you...

1422
01:13:08,750 --> 01:13:09,750
I'll still be here.

1423
01:13:13,708 --> 01:13:15,000
I'll always be around.

1424
01:13:17,541 --> 01:13:18,625
We can be losers together.

1425
01:13:28,416 --> 01:13:29,416
Hey.

1426
01:13:31,041 --> 01:13:33,166
I think you and I have the same problem.

1427
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:34,833
Do we?

1428
01:13:34,916 --> 01:13:35,916
Mm-hmm.

1429
01:13:36,500 --> 01:13:40,250
We're just afraid to let
a real relationship happen 'cause...

1430
01:13:42,541 --> 01:13:45,000
we know how easy it is
to lose the ones we love.

1431
01:13:57,750 --> 01:13:59,250
- Jack. Jack!
- I'm awake.

1432
01:13:59,958 --> 01:14:02,416
- I'm awake, I'm awake, I'm awake.
- Please.

1433
01:14:02,833 --> 01:14:04,458
- Please.
- I'm so here.

1434
01:14:07,625 --> 01:14:08,625
Coffee?

1435
01:14:09,125 --> 01:14:10,125
- Yeah.
- Okay.

1436
01:14:11,958 --> 01:14:15,791
So, I arrived back at my desk
to find...

1437
01:14:19,250 --> 01:14:20,708
They've smashed my laptop.

1438
01:14:20,791 --> 01:14:21,791
Jim and Jeff?

1439
01:14:21,833 --> 01:14:23,750
An old laptop. It's not my main laptop.

1440
01:14:25,416 --> 01:14:27,166
Jim and Jeff sound like assholes.

1441
01:14:28,541 --> 01:14:29,625
An old laptop.

1442
01:14:30,333 --> 01:14:32,416
- Oh, my God, I have to tell you something.
- Mm-hmm?

1443
01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:34,625
- They're not your friends. Cheers.
- Cheers.

1444
01:14:38,083 --> 01:14:39,916
- You drink that?
- I am drinking this.

1445
01:14:41,708 --> 01:14:43,125
Oh, God, I need bread.

1446
01:15:01,541 --> 01:15:02,541
Hello!

1447
01:15:03,416 --> 01:15:05,541
A vision in navy.

1448
01:15:08,875 --> 01:15:10,041
- Rebecca?
- Yes?

1449
01:15:10,750 --> 01:15:11,750
Why do you like me?

1450
01:15:12,375 --> 01:15:13,375
I...

1451
01:15:13,458 --> 01:15:17,250
I mean, I'm a totally self-obsessed,
neurotic mess.

1452
01:15:18,250 --> 01:15:21,041
Yeah. Yeah. But I'm... I'm...

1453
01:15:21,625 --> 01:15:24,583
I suppose I don't really mind
those... those things about you.

1454
01:15:25,583 --> 01:15:27,416
But don't you think I'm a bit of an idiot?

1455
01:15:28,333 --> 01:15:29,458
Oh, yeah.

1456
01:15:29,541 --> 01:15:30,375
Yeah.

1457
01:15:30,458 --> 01:15:32,333
I mean, you're a massive idiot. Yeah.

1458
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:34,625
- Yeah.
- Well, yeah.

1459
01:15:36,541 --> 01:15:38,666
But I suppose there's one or two people

1460
01:15:38,750 --> 01:15:42,458
who would say that I am
a bit of a massive idiot.

1461
01:15:44,250 --> 01:15:46,958
And so you being
a massive idiot is sort of

1462
01:15:47,041 --> 01:15:50,625
what I actually like the best about you.

1463
01:15:53,250 --> 01:15:56,458
I suppose what I'm saying is
that I just like you for being you.

1464
01:15:58,708 --> 01:15:59,708
Oh, wow.

1465
01:16:00,916 --> 01:16:01,916
That's...

1466
01:16:02,166 --> 01:16:03,166
It's...

1467
01:16:03,958 --> 01:16:07,000
I don't think anybody's ever
liked me for being me before.

1468
01:16:07,083 --> 01:16:09,500
They usually like me
for who I pretend to be.

1469
01:16:10,083 --> 01:16:11,083
Like, occasionally.

1470
01:16:13,666 --> 01:16:14,666
Well...

1471
01:16:16,166 --> 01:16:18,125
with me you don't have to pretend.

1472
01:16:37,208 --> 01:16:38,208
Oh.

1473
01:16:42,583 --> 01:16:43,583
Um...

1474
01:16:44,208 --> 01:16:45,041
Thank you.

1475
01:16:45,125 --> 01:16:46,333
No, thank you.

1476
01:16:48,125 --> 01:16:50,041
- Sorry, that was... I didn't know this...
- No.

1477
01:16:50,125 --> 01:16:51,750
- No, I don't...
- I just, I...

1478
01:16:51,833 --> 01:16:53,125
I... I definitely didn't.

1479
01:16:54,208 --> 01:16:55,375
'Cause it's, uh...

1480
01:16:56,583 --> 01:16:57,833
I'm... Would you mind if...

1481
01:16:57,916 --> 01:16:59,601
- If we did just one more?
- That'd be good.

1482
01:16:59,625 --> 01:17:00,833
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1483
01:17:13,666 --> 01:17:14,666
She's yours.

1484
01:17:20,250 --> 01:17:21,375
- Marc!
- What do you want?

1485
01:17:21,458 --> 01:17:24,166
- I just want to talk to you.
- Well, there's nothing to talk about.

1486
01:17:24,250 --> 01:17:26,208
Marc, please, please, please, please.

1487
01:17:26,291 --> 01:17:28,375
Just... Just... Just listen.

1488
01:17:28,458 --> 01:17:30,833
I know how you feel about Hayley.

1489
01:17:31,750 --> 01:17:34,958
But maybe some things
just aren't meant to be.

1490
01:17:35,041 --> 01:17:36,375
- Not this.
- Just...

1491
01:17:38,333 --> 01:17:40,833
What I do know is that Hayley
deserves to be happy.

1492
01:17:40,916 --> 01:17:41,916
Yeah.

1493
01:17:44,083 --> 01:17:46,041
But she's happy with Roberto.

1494
01:17:48,125 --> 01:17:49,166
If you...

1495
01:17:50,333 --> 01:17:54,541
If you really, truly care about her,
please let her go.

1496
01:18:10,791 --> 01:18:12,541
Okay. Okay.

1497
01:18:25,458 --> 01:18:26,291
Jack.

1498
01:18:26,375 --> 01:18:27,375
Jack.

1499
01:18:27,416 --> 01:18:28,416
Sidney...

1500
01:18:29,208 --> 01:18:32,416
- I'm really not on my best right now.
- You see, Jack, you're good with ladies,

1501
01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:34,666
and I was wondering
if you had any pointers.

1502
01:18:35,333 --> 01:18:41,458
Believe me, I'm not the best person
to ask for advice about anything.

1503
01:18:41,541 --> 01:18:43,125
- Yes, you are, Jack.
- Not right now.

1504
01:18:43,541 --> 01:18:46,250
Now, I know I'm not as sexy as...

1505
01:18:47,125 --> 01:18:48,125
Brad Pitt.

1506
01:18:53,625 --> 01:18:55,833
But now I'm starting to worry
that I might be...

1507
01:18:57,166 --> 01:18:59,041
I'm probably overthinking it, but...

1508
01:19:00,583 --> 01:19:01,666
Well, am I boring?

1509
01:19:03,875 --> 01:19:04,875
Jack?

1510
01:19:10,250 --> 01:19:11,250
Jack?

1511
01:19:21,958 --> 01:19:24,208
- Sidney? Sidney, Sidney.
- Yes? Sorry, Jack.

1512
01:19:24,875 --> 01:19:25,875
Go on.

1513
01:19:26,458 --> 01:19:27,458
Look.

1514
01:19:27,833 --> 01:19:31,208
- Try to listen more...
- Yes. Because you're good at that.

1515
01:19:31,291 --> 01:19:32,333
- No.
- You're...

1516
01:19:32,416 --> 01:19:33,416
Yes.

1517
01:19:33,458 --> 01:19:35,333
- Try to...
- You let people have their say.

1518
01:19:36,166 --> 01:19:37,583
- Sidney...
- You create a vibe.

1519
01:19:37,666 --> 01:19:38,916
You create a vibe.

1520
01:19:41,833 --> 01:19:44,958
Just listen more to people.

1521
01:19:45,375 --> 01:19:47,458
And I know they're your friends,
all right, but...

1522
01:19:49,250 --> 01:19:50,708
stop going on about Jim and Jeff.

1523
01:19:53,250 --> 01:19:54,708
I don't know them that well.

1524
01:19:58,416 --> 01:20:00,083
Then why do you go on about them?

1525
01:20:01,416 --> 01:20:03,791
I suppose to make myself
sound more popular.

1526
01:20:04,708 --> 01:20:05,708
It's not working.

1527
01:20:07,750 --> 01:20:08,750
No.

1528
01:20:11,875 --> 01:20:13,500
- No?
- No.

1529
01:20:14,291 --> 01:20:16,000
- Definitely not?
- It's...

1530
01:20:16,083 --> 01:20:17,583
Stop talking about Jim and Jeff.

1531
01:20:18,083 --> 01:20:19,083
And for heaven's sake...

1532
01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:21,166
listen.

1533
01:20:22,333 --> 01:20:23,333
Good luck.

1534
01:20:24,416 --> 01:20:25,541
- Onwards.
- Yeah.

1535
01:20:43,916 --> 01:20:45,875
<i>Signore e signori,</i>
ladies and gentlemen,

1536
01:20:45,958 --> 01:20:49,041
now we'll have the speech
of the maid of honor, Bryan.

1537
01:20:50,333 --> 01:20:52,041
- Where are you going?
- Shit, that's me.

1538
01:20:52,125 --> 01:20:53,166
That's you. That's you.

1539
01:20:53,583 --> 01:20:54,583
Hey!

1540
01:21:13,916 --> 01:21:14,916
Hello, everyone.

1541
01:21:15,500 --> 01:21:16,500
Uh...

1542
01:21:16,958 --> 01:21:19,125
Apologies for my lack of Italian.

1543
01:21:19,250 --> 01:21:20,250
Um...

1544
01:21:27,375 --> 01:21:28,375
Um...

1545
01:21:31,333 --> 01:21:33,000
Love is a weird thing, isn't it?

1546
01:21:34,333 --> 01:21:36,291
It's unpredictable sometimes...

1547
01:21:37,625 --> 01:21:38,625
confusing.

1548
01:21:40,583 --> 01:21:41,625
But I think...

1549
01:21:42,416 --> 01:21:43,958
the most important thing...

1550
01:21:46,166 --> 01:21:47,708
is that the person you're with...

1551
01:21:48,750 --> 01:21:50,500
loves you for being you.

1552
01:21:51,541 --> 01:21:52,583
You are enough.

1553
01:21:53,541 --> 01:21:55,458
And you love them just for being them.

1554
01:21:55,875 --> 01:21:57,958
And that's what Hayley and Roberto have.

1555
01:22:01,958 --> 01:22:03,583
And that's what I have with Rebecca.

1556
01:22:05,458 --> 01:22:06,291
Animal!

1557
01:22:06,375 --> 01:22:08,125
I am... I am so sorry. My God.

1558
01:22:12,291 --> 01:22:14,708
I love you to bits, Hayles, and...

1559
01:22:15,041 --> 01:22:18,416
I'm so glad you're happy.

1560
01:22:19,500 --> 01:22:22,125
And I hope it lasts forever.

1561
01:22:24,750 --> 01:22:25,916
Hayley and Roberto.

1562
01:22:26,875 --> 01:22:28,875
Hayley and Roberto!

1563
01:22:30,375 --> 01:22:31,375
Thank you.

1564
01:22:42,375 --> 01:22:43,625
Was that okay?

1565
01:22:43,708 --> 01:22:44,708
Mm.

1566
01:22:44,958 --> 01:22:46,958
I thought it was brilliant.
You were very good.

1567
01:22:48,166 --> 01:22:50,916
- Um, I'll just get another drink.
- Yeah, yeah.

1568
01:23:19,750 --> 01:23:20,791
Hayley and I...

1569
01:23:27,500 --> 01:23:28,541
Hayley and...

1570
01:23:32,041 --> 01:23:33,041
Hayley...

1571
01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:35,500
Hayley... uh...

1572
01:23:38,708 --> 01:23:40,541
Hay... Hayley...

1573
01:23:56,041 --> 01:23:57,041
Hayley...

1574
01:23:57,750 --> 01:23:58,750
and...

1575
01:24:00,208 --> 01:24:01,208
Roberto...

1576
01:24:09,166 --> 01:24:10,166
I hope you'll...

1577
01:24:11,583 --> 01:24:13,583
both be very happy together.

1578
01:24:23,833 --> 01:24:24,833
Thank you.

1579
01:24:27,791 --> 01:24:28,791
Chin-chin.

1580
01:24:31,875 --> 01:24:33,333
I'll be... I'll be right back, okay?

1581
01:24:37,333 --> 01:24:38,166
Just...

1582
01:24:38,250 --> 01:24:40,041
- I'm gonna go and talk to him.
- Okay, okay.

1583
01:24:41,625 --> 01:24:42,875
- Here you go.
- Oh, thank you.

1584
01:24:50,375 --> 01:24:51,375
Marc.

1585
01:25:25,166 --> 01:25:26,166
All right?

1586
01:25:26,958 --> 01:25:27,791
Hey.

1587
01:25:27,875 --> 01:25:28,750
Um...

1588
01:25:28,875 --> 01:25:29,875
I've been thinking.

1589
01:25:31,416 --> 01:25:32,416
We...

1590
01:25:33,208 --> 01:25:34,541
Maybe we shouldn't get married.

1591
01:25:36,500 --> 01:25:38,291
'Cause, I mean...

1592
01:25:38,375 --> 01:25:40,458
you're clearly not in love with me, and...

1593
01:25:41,875 --> 01:25:44,000
that wouldn't really work, would it?

1594
01:25:47,875 --> 01:25:48,875
Would it?

1595
01:25:50,916 --> 01:25:54,375
Someone somewhere is going to be
so lucky to have you.

1596
01:25:55,750 --> 01:25:56,750
Yeah.

1597
01:25:57,833 --> 01:26:00,125
Especially with those awesome genitals.

1598
01:26:00,625 --> 01:26:01,625
Ah...

1599
01:26:02,041 --> 01:26:03,041
I knew it.

1600
01:26:03,666 --> 01:26:06,708
It's... But it's nice of you
to confirm it 'cause...

1601
01:26:06,791 --> 01:26:09,583
...it's been
playing on my mind.

1602
01:26:09,708 --> 01:26:11,833
So, yeah.

1603
01:26:29,500 --> 01:26:32,000
No, here your watermelons
have way too many seeds.

1604
01:26:32,083 --> 01:26:33,458
That's where you're wrong.

1605
01:26:33,541 --> 01:26:34,458
You're wrong.

1606
01:26:34,541 --> 01:26:36,250
Okay, in America, we don't do seeds.

1607
01:26:36,333 --> 01:26:38,093
You know, we just make 'em
without the seeds.

1608
01:26:38,166 --> 01:26:39,166
I don't even know how...

1609
01:26:45,625 --> 01:26:46,625
- Hi.
- Hello.

1610
01:26:47,333 --> 01:26:49,250
- My name is Cristina.
- Cristina?

1611
01:26:49,333 --> 01:26:51,333
- Cristina, yeah.
- My name's Sidney.

1612
01:26:51,541 --> 01:26:53,041
- Oh, Sidney.
- Hello.

1613
01:26:53,666 --> 01:26:56,666
- Ah, so what do you do, Sidney?
- I'm in car insurance.

1614
01:26:56,750 --> 01:26:57,750
Oh.

1615
01:26:58,416 --> 01:26:59,916
Not as dry as it sounds.

1616
01:27:00,625 --> 01:27:02,000
I work with a couple of, um...

1617
01:27:04,750 --> 01:27:06,541
Tell me about yourself.
What do you do?

1618
01:27:06,958 --> 01:27:08,458
- Myself?
- What do you do? Yeah.

1619
01:27:09,500 --> 01:27:12,291
- I work in a post office.
- In the post office?

1620
01:27:12,375 --> 01:27:14,583
- Yeah, in Rome.
- You're joking me. Wow. In Rome?

1621
01:27:15,208 --> 01:27:17,041
- And I have one friend.
- Very exotic. Go on.

1622
01:27:17,125 --> 01:27:19,458
- She works with me. Julia.
- Julia?

1623
01:27:19,541 --> 01:27:20,625
- Julia.
- Keep talking.

1624
01:27:20,708 --> 01:27:23,166
- Yeah, she's a very crazy woman.
- Mad lady.

1625
01:27:23,250 --> 01:27:25,125
- Funny.
- Yeah, fantastic.

1626
01:27:25,208 --> 01:27:27,125
- Yeah.
- She sounds incredible.

1627
01:27:28,541 --> 01:27:29,541
Oh.

1628
01:27:30,041 --> 01:27:32,208
- I love your kilt.
- Ooh, careful!

1629
01:27:32,833 --> 01:27:34,750
Buy me dinner first.

1630
01:27:35,333 --> 01:27:36,916
Are you here alone?

1631
01:27:37,000 --> 01:27:38,958
I am here alone, yes.

1632
01:27:40,333 --> 01:27:41,625
Are you here alone?

1633
01:27:41,875 --> 01:27:43,500
Yes, I'm alone.

1634
01:27:43,958 --> 01:27:44,958
Oh.

1635
01:27:58,541 --> 01:27:59,625
What time is it?

1636
01:28:00,666 --> 01:28:02,458
Um, I don't know. I don't know.

1637
01:28:02,541 --> 01:28:04,166
I don't know, no.

1638
01:28:05,708 --> 01:28:06,750
I don't know.

1639
01:28:06,833 --> 01:28:08,993
- What, do you live in a box?
- Yeah.

1640
01:28:09,333 --> 01:28:11,791
'Cause it's, like, seedless,
kind of thing.

1641
01:28:13,166 --> 01:28:14,166
Shit.

1642
01:28:14,500 --> 01:28:15,833
Oh, God, I have to go.

1643
01:28:17,500 --> 01:28:19,166
<i>Ciao.</i> All right.

1644
01:28:20,958 --> 01:28:21,791
Hayley!

1645
01:28:21,958 --> 01:28:23,333
- Hi. Sorry.
- Hey, Dina.

1646
01:28:24,000 --> 01:28:26,000
You look so beautiful.
I'm so happy for you.

1647
01:28:26,291 --> 01:28:28,875
I'll call you 'cause I've just got to go
to some work thing.

1648
01:28:28,958 --> 01:28:30,309
- Right now?
- Yeah, sorry.

1649
01:28:30,333 --> 01:28:32,708
I love you, babe. Bye! Bye!

1650
01:28:38,583 --> 01:28:39,583
Dina?

1651
01:28:41,041 --> 01:28:42,666
Oh, look who's woken up.

1652
01:28:45,583 --> 01:28:46,958
Uh, hi.

1653
01:28:47,708 --> 01:28:50,791
Yeah, I am so sorry
about what happened earlier. I...

1654
01:28:52,041 --> 01:28:55,416
Tonight didn't quite turn out
as I'd planned.

1655
01:28:55,500 --> 01:28:56,625
Yeah? Well...

1656
01:28:57,041 --> 01:28:58,708
what in life really turns out as planned?

1657
01:28:59,583 --> 01:29:01,250
Yeah, I suppose.

1658
01:29:01,791 --> 01:29:02,911
Um...

1659
01:29:04,583 --> 01:29:06,000
- Shit.
- So you're going?

1660
01:29:06,083 --> 01:29:07,166
Oh, yeah, I have to.

1661
01:29:07,250 --> 01:29:10,791
I've had, like, 16 missed calls from work,
and I was just too drunk to notice.

1662
01:29:13,416 --> 01:29:14,291
I, uh...

1663
01:29:14,375 --> 01:29:15,375
Huh?

1664
01:29:15,416 --> 01:29:16,833
I was, um...

1665
01:29:17,125 --> 01:29:18,166
I was about to kiss you...

1666
01:29:19,333 --> 01:29:20,333
that night.

1667
01:29:20,625 --> 01:29:21,625
I...

1668
01:29:22,375 --> 01:29:25,083
I just felt that there was something
special between us.

1669
01:29:25,958 --> 01:29:28,125
And, um, I know this seems nuts

1670
01:29:28,208 --> 01:29:31,500
'cause we'd only known each other
a couple of days, but I...

1671
01:29:33,208 --> 01:29:36,041
I've never felt a connection
like that before.

1672
01:29:38,166 --> 01:29:39,166
Or since.

1673
01:29:41,250 --> 01:29:43,750
And I had a feeling you felt the same.

1674
01:29:48,125 --> 01:29:49,125
So I just want to...

1675
01:29:49,166 --> 01:29:51,000
I just need to know, uh...

1676
01:29:51,916 --> 01:29:53,041
if I was imagining it.

1677
01:29:59,375 --> 01:30:00,666
You weren't imagining it.

1678
01:30:02,083 --> 01:30:03,875
I guess we just missed our moment.

1679
01:30:05,375 --> 01:30:06,666
- God.
- Right.

1680
01:30:08,250 --> 01:30:09,250
Right. Uh...

1681
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:11,000
I...

1682
01:30:11,625 --> 01:30:12,625
Yeah.

1683
01:30:28,333 --> 01:30:29,333
Right.

1684
01:30:49,833 --> 01:30:51,000
Yeah. Thank you.

1685
01:30:53,083 --> 01:30:54,083
<i>Grazie.</i>

1686
01:30:54,875 --> 01:30:55,875
Hey.

1687
01:30:55,958 --> 01:30:56,958
Hey.

1688
01:30:57,541 --> 01:30:59,666
Oh, so you and Rebecca, eh?

1689
01:30:59,750 --> 01:31:00,791
I mean, I don't...

1690
01:31:01,458 --> 01:31:03,791
I just... I don't know.
I don't know how that happened.

1691
01:31:06,208 --> 01:31:07,541
Where's the American?

1692
01:31:07,625 --> 01:31:08,750
Ah, she's gone.

1693
01:31:10,791 --> 01:31:11,791
I'm sorry, man.

1694
01:31:13,541 --> 01:31:15,500
Some things just aren't meant to work out.

1695
01:31:15,583 --> 01:31:16,583
True.

1696
01:31:16,791 --> 01:31:18,125
Like me and acting.

1697
01:31:19,666 --> 01:31:20,666
- Really?
- Yeah.

1698
01:31:21,583 --> 01:31:25,083
I've realized that I don't need to act.
I'm fine just being me.

1699
01:31:27,291 --> 01:31:28,625
So that's it. Just...

1700
01:31:28,708 --> 01:31:29,708
That's it.

1701
01:31:30,625 --> 01:31:32,208
Done. No more.

1702
01:31:32,875 --> 01:31:35,041
You've got to change
at some point, don't you?

1703
01:31:35,458 --> 01:31:37,338
- You can't keep...
- Oh, you're here.

1704
01:31:38,041 --> 01:31:39,125
- Hi.
- Hey.

1705
01:31:40,208 --> 01:31:41,568
I was really moved by your speech.

1706
01:31:42,000 --> 01:31:43,250
- Really?
- Yeah, really.

1707
01:31:43,333 --> 01:31:44,583
Thank you very much.

1708
01:31:45,000 --> 01:31:47,000
- You're Hayley's actor friend?
- Yes, I am.

1709
01:31:47,458 --> 01:31:49,083
I'm doing my new film.

1710
01:31:49,166 --> 01:31:50,416
Why don't you take my card

1711
01:31:50,500 --> 01:31:52,916
and give my assistant a call tomorrow?

1712
01:31:53,000 --> 01:31:54,208
- Yeah.
- We'll have a coffee.

1713
01:31:54,291 --> 01:31:55,875
- Yeah, brilliant. I will.
- Okay.

1714
01:31:55,958 --> 01:31:58,041
- I love coffee.
- See you. Bye. Yeah.

1715
01:31:58,375 --> 01:32:00,041
Oh, my God!

1716
01:32:00,125 --> 01:32:03,583
- That was incredible. What just happened?
- I don't know.

1717
01:32:04,125 --> 01:32:06,666
I thought you were quitting acting.

1718
01:32:06,750 --> 01:32:08,916
No, that's bullshit. I'm all about acting.

1719
01:32:11,625 --> 01:32:13,333
At least one of us has had some luck.

1720
01:32:13,958 --> 01:32:15,678
What are you talking about?
We're all lucky.

1721
01:32:16,083 --> 01:32:17,166
Are we really?

1722
01:32:20,041 --> 01:32:23,916
Have you ever thought
about how small the chances are

1723
01:32:24,000 --> 01:32:25,166
that you would be born?

1724
01:32:26,541 --> 01:32:28,708
If just one thing in history had changed,

1725
01:32:29,458 --> 01:32:31,750
just one of your millions of ancestors

1726
01:32:31,833 --> 01:32:34,583
hadn't crossed paths
at the exact moment they did,

1727
01:32:35,416 --> 01:32:36,666
then you wouldn't exist.

1728
01:32:39,250 --> 01:32:41,291
You'd never have even lived a single day.

1729
01:32:43,333 --> 01:32:44,653
- Did you just make that up?
- No.

1730
01:32:44,708 --> 01:32:47,625
It's a quote from one of Vitelli's films.
But it's true, though, right?

1731
01:32:47,708 --> 01:32:48,708
Yeah.

1732
01:32:49,291 --> 01:32:51,375
I mean, it's pretty scary,

1733
01:32:52,041 --> 01:32:53,666
but if we're honest with ourselves,

1734
01:32:53,750 --> 01:32:55,416
then it all comes down to chance.

1735
01:32:56,041 --> 01:33:00,000
And I guess life is about grabbing
those chances when they come 'round.

1736
01:33:51,958 --> 01:33:53,416
Can I call you right back?

1737
01:33:53,500 --> 01:33:54,500
Thanks.

1738
01:34:05,583 --> 01:34:06,583
Hi.

1739
01:34:08,416 --> 01:34:09,416
Hi.

1740
01:34:13,875 --> 01:34:15,250
Just going for run?

1741
01:34:22,291 --> 01:34:23,291
Dina?

1742
01:34:24,416 --> 01:34:25,583
- Hi.
- Oh, my God!

1743
01:34:25,666 --> 01:34:27,601
- Do I know you?
- Do you remember we met at that...

1744
01:34:27,625 --> 01:34:28,625
Fuck off.

1745
01:34:30,958 --> 01:34:32,291
Seriously, fuck off.

1746
01:34:36,375 --> 01:34:37,375
Yeah.

1747
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:39,000
Okay.

1748
01:34:39,625 --> 01:34:40,666
Okay.

1749
01:34:59,625 --> 01:35:00,750
Hey, everyone.

1750
01:35:00,875 --> 01:35:03,208
Hang on. You're not supposed
to be sat there, are you?

1751
01:35:03,333 --> 01:35:04,625
I think I am.

1752
01:35:08,375 --> 01:35:11,416
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck was that about?

1753
01:35:13,833 --> 01:35:15,434
He's the most amazing actor
you've ever seen.

1754
01:35:15,458 --> 01:35:17,708
- I don't know about that.
- No, he is. He's brilliant.

1755
01:35:18,250 --> 01:35:19,375
- Yeah.
- Thank you.

1756
01:35:19,458 --> 01:35:20,666
And you'd be, uh...

1757
01:35:20,750 --> 01:35:24,791
You'd be "amoron"
not to put him into one of your movies.

1758
01:35:24,875 --> 01:35:26,755
- Like, an actual fucking moron.
- Calm it down.

1759
01:35:26,791 --> 01:35:28,892
If he was any more obsessed with you,
he'd be a stalker.

1760
01:35:28,916 --> 01:35:30,556
- I'm not a stalker.
- He's not a stalker.

1761
01:35:30,625 --> 01:35:32,625
- I'm a watcher.
- But he's a bit like a crazy fan.

1762
01:35:32,958 --> 01:35:35,517
Expect him in your shower
being like, "I wanna watch your films."

1763
01:35:35,541 --> 01:35:36,791
- No!
- Thank you.

1764
01:35:38,083 --> 01:35:40,041
I'm sorry, sir. Oh, my goodness!

1765
01:35:40,125 --> 01:35:42,666
- It was an accident!
- There you go! Whoa!

1766
01:35:42,750 --> 01:35:45,166
I thought it'd be cold on top of hot!

1767
01:35:48,083 --> 01:35:50,125
I hope he didn't burn his penis.

1768
01:35:58,666 --> 01:35:59,791
- Hello.
- Hi.

1769
01:36:09,291 --> 01:36:10,291
Thanks!

1770
01:36:13,875 --> 01:36:15,458
Nothing's coming up. It's just air.

1771
01:36:15,541 --> 01:36:17,458
Bryan!

1772
01:36:18,500 --> 01:36:19,500
Oh.

1773
01:36:19,833 --> 01:36:21,875
There's a wolf licking a baby's arsehole!

1774
01:36:22,916 --> 01:36:24,083
I don't like that.

1775
01:36:27,458 --> 01:36:29,833
It's formed...
A rash is forming because of the kilt.

1776
01:36:30,041 --> 01:36:31,750
Ah, here he is!

1777
01:36:32,458 --> 01:36:33,541
You cock!

1778
01:36:33,625 --> 01:36:35,166
- Get it out, then.
- Excuse me?

1779
01:36:35,250 --> 01:36:37,666
Look, everyone!
Jack's about to get his dick out!

1780
01:36:37,750 --> 01:36:38,791
Take off your...

1781
01:36:42,791 --> 01:36:44,625
What are you doing?!

1782
01:36:50,250 --> 01:36:52,541
These British folk are mad!

1783
01:36:52,625 --> 01:36:55,083
♪ <i>But in Rome do as the Romans do ♪</i>

1784
01:36:55,416 --> 01:36:57,208
<i>♪ With you ♪</i>

1785
01:36:57,916 --> 01:37:00,500
<i>♪ On an evening in Roma ♪</i>

1786
01:37:04,541 --> 01:37:07,708
♪ <i>On an evening in Roma ♪</i>