Thread 31: Stories 1-15

Thread 31 archive: http://archive.heinessen.com/mlp/thread/18666146
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>Pinkie
~~~~~~

>HEEEEERE WE AAAAAARRRRRE!

The others in her all too large group would have responded. Really, they would. But they were far, far too awestruck by the massive resort hotel shaped quite like a bouncy-castle, though looking just a touch sturdier. They saw fountains, beautiful views, and even to the terror of the three Changelings in the group, a pool. It was a shining, magnificent, absolutely glorious looking hotel, far, far too shocking for any of them to comment on directly.

>You can just say "I didn't want to write that long as hell list of the group."

Ignoring her strange comment, they all decided to pair up into their respective, smaller groups, and go in to get settled into their rooms.

>Subtle.

None of them noticed her strange words, or the pie that was suddenly flung at her head from out of nowhere.

>...Wha-

*SPLAT!*

>Don't switch to action beats when you write out the res-

*SPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLATSPLAT*

>...

*SPLAT!*

>You're despicable.

I know.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
'Morlocks'
-Blueblood-
{???}

32 gallops through the constricted tunnels of the caves, eyes narrowed in concentration, every step is deliberate, there is no time to hesitate, he has to find this 'Blueblood' before his folly summons every horror the accursed mountain had to offer.

BANG!

-GO TO HELL!-

His wild firing and shouting like a ninny is quite helpful, as a matter of fact. Soon he finds himself at the rear of a pack of Morlocks, their attention diverted to the mouth of a cavern.

BANG!

'Tevrush!'

'Selesh makhat!'

32 smirked, slowly slipping forward. Ready...

-DO YOU MONSTERS NOT UNDERSTAND EQUESTRIAN!? GET AWAY FROM ME!-

Steady...

BANG!

32 lashes out at the backmost Morlock, two forelegs smashing its skull against the hard stone of the tunnel walls.

BANG!

His horn stabs into another's neck, he slips to the side as one turns, giving it a moment to see its fellow bleeding before grasping its head with both forelegs.

Sn-BANG!

One remains of the pack, carefully dancing back and forth in the cave mouth, hissing and taunting the pony within to fire.

>Didn't your mother ever teach you?

The Morlock's eyes go wide, 32 bucks it out into the cave, it scrambles back, howling-

BANG!

Its body jerks as its head is reduced to a plume of pink mist. A casual observation of the bodies littering the cavern floor is all 32 needs to know that in addition to being a jerk and a meanie, it's a crack shot he's dealing with as well.

-YOU SEE!? YOU SEE WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH!?-

>Would you please stop shouting, sir? I assure you the monsters in these caves are near infinite, so unless whatever weapon you're using is, you should really quit drawing them to you.

-...who's there?-

>Not precisely a friend, but someone who seeks a similar goal. You are Prince Blueblood, yes?

-Yes?-

>Excellent, may we speak

-...show yourself.-

>I don't believe I will.
With a liquid grace, 32 slinks through the shadows of the cavern. Quiet chitinous hoofs on the rough rock as he climbs up towards the ridge where the Prince has camped out, knowing that a single misstep could spell his doom. The Prince's eyes aren't adjusted to the darkness, only the pale bodies of the Morlocks stopped them from being upon him. 32's, black as night, blends in.

It helps the blowhard is too busy talking to notice the silence on the other end.

-Do you know who I am!? I am a Prince of Equestria! No matter what they say, my rank is not going to be taken from me by some pencil pusher! You WILL show yourself!-

32 reaches the top of the ridge and looks over the alabaster aristocrat. He clings to his long hunk of metal like a security blanket, supplies scattered behind him as he watches the entrance.With practiced ease, 32 places a pebble into one of his leg holes, swinging it so that the pebble flies through the air and clacks against the opposite wall. Blueblood's body jerks, eyes wide, he goes to aim his weapon.

32 is on him in a second, pinning his body to the ground.

>Now see, we could have been civil, but it turns out you're just as arrogant as you are terrified.

-Nngh! Mmff!-

>Don't talk, just listen. I could murder you, you know. I could end you right here, from what my companion tells me you more than deserve it for your treachery. Rebelling against your sovereign, you are the lowest of the low.

{Ohhhh the irony.}

32 blinks, wondering where that voice came from before returning to Blueblood.

>However, you can be of use to me, 'your highness'. I want to get out of here, little Two wants to get out of here-

-That little brat is ali-!?-

>-and YOU want to get out of here, hm? Well then, assist me and you'll return to the surface.

-...and if I refuse?-

>I'll break your toy and leave you to be eaten.

-...yes let's travel together.-

>I knew you were a man of reason.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Actarius
"JJ"
'Arana'
~~~~

>Whelp, we're boned.

"It is night time."

'...What?'

"I'm just saying, lots of weird stuff happens at night time. Weird, sometimes uncomfortable or painful, stuff. I mean, that happens in the day too, but that's rarer."

'Oh, yeah, that makes sense.'

>We haven't even seen a trace!

"Did we even ride something?"

'Uh... no.'

"We did not."

>Sorry, JJ. I promised you we'd get to see the juggler in the carnival, but it's probably closed by now.

"It's okay. You have to protect those under Applejack Prime's command."

>Thanks for being understanding, but I don't feel any less terrible.

"...Hey, I know what'll make you feel better!"

>Oh man, right here?

"What, you want to duck in-between the tents? That won't give us as much room."

>Still...

"Awww, come on! Nobody is around, this part of partyland is completely empty!"

>Well...

"You know you love it."

>...Oh, okay. You want Arana to turn around and cover her ears?

"No... I want her to watch."

>Really?

"Hey, just want to try something new."

>Well, whip it out already!

'...I am so lost-'

"Dadadadada dadadada dada~!"

'EEEEEE!'

>I know! I love his juggling!

'He's doin' so well!'

>His skill is really, really good!

'I can't look away!'

>I know, right? Mesmerizing-

"FUCKING HOLES!"

'Awwww...'

>S'okay buddy, everyone has performance issues sometimes.

"It's so embarrassing!"

>No, it's okay, I got enough for tonight, really!

"No you didn't, you don't have to make me feel better."

>Well, how's about you try to get back in the groove by the time we get to the hotel, okay? We'll share a room so you can try all night if you have to!

"...You know what, sure! I'm game!"

'Can I watch too!?'

>Well, we'll have to bring you with us if we can't locate the princess, but if we do we'll see if you can stop in and watch a round or two.

'YAAAYYY! Come on, let's go!'

>Right behind you... see, she doesn't think we're weird.

"It has to be a problem with everyone else."

'Definitely.'
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>JS
"AJ007"
_____

THUMP.

>That... was a rather piss-poor attempt at doing away with me.

"What, are dated methods of execution beneath you? Do you find them insulting?"

>No. I just feel it lazy, merely dropping a rock from a string. ...IS that a string?

"Piece of taffy actually."

>And now I'm insulted.

"Well, I suppose this is still my win. If I can't do away with you, pissing you off works equally well."

>Take solace in your petty win, that's about as much as I'll ever let you have.

CLI-CLUNK.

"..."

>...

"..."

>...Damn.

"Did that piece of ground right there really just fall in?"

>Damn, damn.

"You... you somehow set up a trap door, didn't you?"

>Damn, damn, damn.

"And that's why you were walking this way, you were leading me, weren't you?"

>So we both failed. I assume you're heading to the hotel because your beetle leader thing is residing there as well?

"Yes. For some reason that continues to baffle me up down and sideways, she seems to relish her time spent with that fat-assed cake-hoarder you call a 'Queen'."

>I believe we all do.

"...Huh, I sort've expected you to fly at me after that remark."

>Why? My Queen has a much sought after prodigious posterior and she is known, even publicly, to enjoy her vast collection of cakes. Just because you stated it with all the finesse of a foal doesn't take away from its factual roots.

"And so now you've also won."

>How?

"Because that angered me for some reason."
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>Applejack
“Celestia”
_____

>So Celly, gotta question for-

“NOT HERE DAMN IT! NOT! HERE! BAD APPLE HORSE!”

WHAP.

>Where did y’all get that newspaper fr-… nevermind. Not important. What is important is… well, look 'round this place.

“Okay. I’m looking, I’m looking… still looking….”

>Whatta y’all see?

“That this place is a damn sight nicer than our castle back in Canterlot for one. Am I irked because of this bleeding fact? Yes. Am I perplexed that a mare who I’m pretty sure has cocaine for blood has built such a wondrous abode, one that’s larger than our own, in seemingly the blink of an eye? Very. Do I want to proposition her to see about making this castle our new home and just find a way to swap them out? Wholeheartedly.”

>Hm. Thaaaaat’s not exactly what Ah was referrin’ to… even if ya are spot on.

“Then what?”

>Doesn’t even mattah, just some hazardous safety violations from the water slide staircase there to the jelly lightbulbs in the marshmallow chandelier. Ah’m too depressed t' be picky right now. Thanks fer' that.

“Huh, it’s been awhile since we’ve done that, hasn’t it?”

>Suuuure has.

“Want to finish it off for old times sake?”

>What, by sayin’ it’s all yer’ fault? Well, it is.

“My smile shall last forever.”
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>SA
"Cadence"
'2'
~~~~

>So... are we in the laughy suite, or the taffy suite?

"I think we're in the sugar spot?"

>No, that can't be right, that's bottom floor, I ordered a top floor.

"Didn't you also order the sweetest spot?"

>Yeah, but not sweet as in sweet tasting.

"Do they know that?"

>I don't know. I said high, though.

"This is confusing."

'We're in the bubblegum bubble!'

>...how do you know that?

'Because it's up high, and really sugary!'

>...

"She's thinking like Pinkie."

>We're doomed.

>Doomed.

'GASP! THE ROLLY CARTS COME WITH A COOKIE DISPENSER! JUST LIKE IN MY DRAWIN'S! IT WAS FORETOLD!'

>...Doomed.
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>DT
"SS"
'Spike'
{Frontdesk pony}
~~~~~

>What do you mean we can't get separate rooms!?

{I'm sorry miss, but we had a large influx of VIPs so we had to give them your rooms. We'll make sure you receive full reimbursement for this.}

>I will pay you triple!

{These VIPs are prince and princesses. I simply can't. I'm sorry.}

"I guess we'll be sharing a room after all."

'Prince and Princesses? So Princess Applejack and Princess Rarity are staying here also?'

{That is correct, sir.}

DT rolls her eyes
>Wait until we get the keys to our room.

{Your keys, miss.}
Gives out the keys to them.

>Thank you. Spike, keep an eye out for 77 and 42. I was hoping we could-
Turns around to see nothing but air.

"Yeeeah...he's gone."

>...
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>Chrysalis
"42"
'18'
~~~

>...Are you grumbling?

"Ah... no! Of course not, your majesty!"

>You seemed like you were grumbling.

'Awww, was someone hoping to 'guard' Shining Armor tonight?'

"NO! My duty is to my Queen first and foremost!"

>Damn straight, but I don't see the problem. You can just join me later.

'...Oh, damn it Chrysalis, you're not.'

>I absolutely am.

'Come on, really!?'

>Yep.

"Lost, here. Could someone clue me in?"

>The fuck do you think I mean? I'm sneaking into Shining Armor's room later.

"Ah... then why did we spend so much on this room?"

>Presentation. I have to make it look like I can flaunt around bits, which I can.

'Because I freaking pay for it...'

>Hey, let's not pretend you aren't loaded and doing a vital service to your royalty. If you want, you can have the room alllll to yourself.

'...YAY!'

>Wait, what?

"YOU don't want to try and sneak into Shining Armor's room!? WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BEST FRIEND!?... 29, I swear to the Wall-Breaker if that's you under there!"

'I am so offended you think he could mimic me. But point is, I don't need to get some Shiny Snuggles tonight, I'm getting full blow romantic time with him tomorrow, don't want any overexposure. Juuuust enough for that wiggling worm to get into his head 'hey, you know who DOESN'T hate that one thing Cadence hates?' ME BABY!'

>I'm happy for you.

"...Seriously?"

>Oh hell yeah, getting Shiny in bed is a hell of a rush. Hope you get to experience it someday, 18... eventually.

'...hate...'

>HAH! C'mon, 42, let's go get some grub... I mean food not... not the... not the word for our newborns.

"...Why is that a phrase..."

>Ponies are FUCKED, that's why.
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>MM
"Counter Pony"
'Trixie'
~~~~

>...How many beds am I getting, again?

"One."

>...This isn't what I paid for.

"We know, and we apologize madam and will reimburse you, but there was a sudden, very unexpected influx of VIP guest. A very large influx. Very... very large."

>But.. But I'm a VIP too! I'm the mayor of the town that held all six of the Elements of Harmony!

"..."

>...I mean, they moved, but-

"Well, it's funny you should mention them. They're all here."

>Oh?

"And the other princesses, and the Queen of the Changelings, and the royal Gryphons... looota celebrities popping up. You're kind of low on the totem pole, no offense."

>Lots taken!

'THIS IS SOME GREAT AND POWERFUL BULLSHIT! You can't even spare a room with TWO beds!?'

"Not in the upper tier you wanted. If we bump you down to mid-teir, we might be able to swing three beds, but-"

'THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE WILL SETTLE FOR NOTHING LESS THAN TOP CLASS!'

"Then you're going to have to deal with the one bed."

>...Well, this vacation is off to an amazing start. Where are we going to sleep?

'Feh, you can take the couch, Zecora can take the tub, and 29 can have the floor.'

>...

'...The Sore and Often Standing Trixie needs her lumbar support and rest!'

>...I have regrets.

'Too bad! I have the horn in the relationship!'

"I'll say."

>YOU SHUT UP!
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>Rekulk
"Vekir"
'Grehm'
-Spike-

-Okay, they said Rarity and AJ were staying in room- -

>PSST!

-...-

Spike looks around the hallway, eyebrow arched, insure where said psst originated from. All he can see is a potted plant, an ice chest, and...a pile of stuffed animals, each adorned with a small plastic helmet.

-Someone should clean that up.-

>Spike of scales! Over here!

-Uh...why is a potted plant talking to m-wait, I know that voice, Rekulk?-

>Yes, it is I! Hello gracious adventure friend, we are-how do you say? In hiding.

-...do I even want to know?-

A voice issues from the ice chest, deep and rumbling, with the sound of a great many teeth chattering.

'W-w-w-we are f-f-f-f-fleeing f-f-f-from an army off m-m-m-mercenaries.'

And another from the pile of stuffed animals, young and feminine, with a bit of a squeak.

"Horrible savages! Hungry for something called 'tickets'!"

>We tell them we have no such organs, but they chase us anyway! So we have hidden in weird tall house! We would say hello to the Twience Princess and other sundry friends...

'B-b-b-but we f-f-f-fear the s-s-s-savages descending on th-them!'

>So inform them all of our hellos and wishes of wellness, yes?

-Heh, can do, pal, I was just looking for two of them now. You three just have fun doing...this weird thing.-

Spike moves to leave, but a pale hoof from the stuffed animal plie tugs on his tail.

"Spike of scales, a favor?"

-Uh, I'm kinda busy...-

"..."

-Uh...-

"You cannot see, but I am replicating the small sister of Zhetri Tuuhl's thing known as 'The Wibble'."

-Oh, it doesn't really work if I can't see it.-

"Understood, but look!"

Another pale hoof erupts from the pile, holding a plush changeling with a tiny helmet on its head.

"This is for the helmeted one, in thanks for her guidance and wisdom! The tagging of lazers yielded no true helmet, so I instead made her in effigy so that she may ward off evil spirits...or cuddle it. It is good for the cuddles."

-That's...pretty sweet of you. You want me to give it to her if I find it?-

"Mhm!"

-Fine I'll...you're not letting go.-

"Nngh!"

-What're you?-

"Remembering joy of test cuddles...fighting self to give toy away...but so sooooft~!"

-Uhh...-

CHOMP!

"EEK!"

-Whoa!-

Spike falls on his rear as Vekir's hooves retreat into the pile.

-Did...she bite herself to let me have that?-

>Yes! Oh I am so proud of you, sister! Such generosity!

"Generosity stings..."

'M-m-m-milestone.'

Spike rolls his eyes and walks off, plushie in hand.

-Morlocks are weird...-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

MEANWHILE, AT THE LEAGUE OF DOO- Somewhere in the Hall of the Future

>Flash
"Fizzle"

>They've locked up, looks like we scared them off

"No, dumbass, they're closing cos it's closing time"

>Well, I think we did well for our first day, the whole park is gonna be having some fitful sleep tonight

"If you think slightly rocking mannequins, sporadically exploding consoles, and some "spooooooky" rattling sounds during the slideshow is gonna scare these people shitless, then what's the use us being here? They'll probably get a heart attack if a skeleton pops out somewhere"

>Hrrmm, skeletons, not a bad idea, kid.

"Guuh! I'm cold, did Penny not even bother to install any AC in here? Or did she just use it to stockpile nervegas or something..."

>Your a dragon, you shouldn't feel cold

"Now that's racist, dragons can feel cold as well y'know"

>But they...-{LOGIC SYSTEM ERRO}-Shut up!

"At least I can put some of this power to use. Hey, you think I should come up with a catchphrase when I use it? Like uhhhh, FLAME ON!" [Fwoosh] "Haha, yeah!"

>Put that out! We'll be spotted!

"Ah shut up, I need the heat"

>....{ATMOSPHERIC TEMPERATURE INCR}-Oh quit schooling me, I know already

"Says mister No-Nerve-Endings"

>That's company rumour and you know it

"..What's that dripping sound?"

>That'll be one of the mannequins, that you set on fire, like you always would

"It needed a makeover, no-one even remembers who it was inna first place"

>Well, the plaque saaaaays "The intrepid Dragon, He who braved the confines of the Natural world to Infuse and Amplify his very bei-"

"AWWW SHIT! FLAME OFF! FLAME OFF!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>29
"Ghost kid"
~~~~

>WHERE THE FUNK AM I!?

"You don't have to censor yourself, if you think I haven't heard every curse in the book and a half dozen you haven't even thought of, you're fucking nuts."

>LANGUAGE!

"Yes. Language. The language of frustration and emphasis. Thine language so foul used to denote mine feelings so strong and forceful. Like the rushing of the river against the mightiest of stones, they flow from mine mouth to give unto you a sense of power, be it from the rage in my heart of the pressure upon the situation. It is for your own benefit, not mine... motherfucker."

>...Okay, fine, anyone who can quote Mareteo Albéniz probably is allowed to speak as they please.

"That's what I thought, you fucking cricker."

>Now that's just uncalled for! And here I was finally seeing thine mind unto that of maturity, as an adult!

"...Really?"

>Of course!

"Oh... SHIELD YOUR-"

*FLASH!*

>GAAHHHHH! MOTHERFUCKER DANCING ON THE HEAD OF A BROKEN COCKEYED WOMP RAT SUNK DEEP IN THE SWAMP OF A MOSSY CUN-...

'...Go on.'

>...Poopy.
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>Twilight
"Pinkie"
'Dash'
[???]
{???}
~???~
~~~~

>What do you mean, we're getting our own rooms!?

"...I... I uh... you lost me, Twi. Is that bad? I thought that was the opposite of bad."

>No! I just, you know... wanted to have a sleepover with you girls.

'Awww, egghead misses hanging out with us!'

>Do you not?

'No, I do, but it felt like I should be the one to say it. I miss you guys just... so much.'

[Oh darling, you should have said so! We would have been more than happy to drag you kicking and screaming from your office.]

{Ya' do realize the only kickin' and screamin' would have been her cheer o' joy, right?}

>There you guys are! Why did you run off like that?

[Oh, blame me, Twilight. I just so wished to spend a little personal time with Applejack. I am ever so sorry.]

>Well... okay. I kind of wish we had spent more time together, you know?

{We got all o' tomorrow and the next day.}

"Yeah! And you guys haven't even seen the best rides yet!"

'I thought you said the ones we went on were the best rides.'

"Well, yeah, they were the best at the time, but the second time you go on a ride is never as fun as the first time, so your level of happyjoules would be weaker with each-"

>No.

"What?"

>No. Absolutely not. No. NO. You are not further befuddling science with something crazy like "Happyjoules"! I AM NOT GOING CRAZY AGAIN!

"It... it was just a funny word, Twilight, it's not a science."

>...Oh. Uh..

"..SLEEPOVERRRR!"

>YAY!

'H-heh... yay...'

~Well, that wasn't awkward.~

>"'[{GAH!... FLUTTERSHY!?}]'"

~Oh, I'm sorry, did I interrupt the happy moment? I was trying to be polite, but it slipped out.~

'How long have you been there!?'

~Since before Applejack and Rarity arrived.~

"...Like a freaking yellow ninja..."

~Can we go back to the cheering? That looked like more fun.~

>Oh uh... YAY!

"'[{Yay!}]'"

>This is going to be the best... night... ever!

'...Okay, who else just heard the demonic laughter?'

>"[{...}]"

'Thought so.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Rarity"

"Gosh, Pinkie really outdid herself on these beds, I never knew you could force taffy of all things into a....bed shape. Applejack! Are you alright!?"

>Hmmmf Meerrrrf!

"Hold on, Darling! I've got this!"

>MmmmmMMMMM-BLEH! [cough] Ugghhh, thanks Rares, don't know what got into me

"Not reeeally a problem dear, but of all the things to do, why was your head jammed right into your bed, isn't that a tad unhygienic?"

>Well it's soft! Real darn soft! Possibly the softest thing I ever slept on

"..."

>Whut's with that look? What'd I do?

"And the pink mess around your mouth is there because?"

>Uhh, accident...?

"Were you...eating the bed?"

>Nope, ah wasn't, I don't even like Taffy

"...I'm going to call room service"

>Whadjih? What for?

"In the HIGHLY likely event you eat me out- I mean eat us out...of a room"

>Now how in the hay could ah possibly do that?

"Ahem "Ah hayd the appetahte of a full grown stalli-hun, since ah was a little foal" no?"

>That was....conjecture, swear it!

"Hello, room service? Can I have a fresh bed?...on standby.....no not right now..... Yes...oh there's more than one.... what flavour? Hold on a moment. Applejack, what's your second favourite flavour?"

>Uhhh.... ah guess....carrot?

"....We'll take the Butterscotch one. Ahaha yes, I know darling, she is a tad bit...well..piggish y'see. Thank you very much. Goodbye!"

"....Dear? Is something the matter?"

>Piggish? Ah'm the piggy one?!

"I didn't mean it like that! I..are you...crying? Please don't! I can't bear you crying"

>S'not fair! No-pony called you piggish when you were a *sniff* big fat mountain

"Applejack I'm sorry, please leave the corner....please?"

>*sniff* ponies kept sending letters.....dumb recipes and invites.... expected me to keep em

"There there dear, I'm sorry it hurt like that... I can make it up to you"

>I dunno, Rares... that desk never gets cleared..*sniff*

"...Did anyone tell you... your hair smelt like a summers day? There there.."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"??"
~~~~~

Bad enough this hallway was already crazy, what with it's slip and slide nature and bouncy walls, but apparently nothing in this damn hotel was normal.

>Okay, this here vendin' machine is buckin' nuts.

"You have to hit the symbol of what you want, and then you sing out about the food you want."

She didn't know what was worse. That 18 was apparently more comprehending of a place that would make Discord call for a time out, or that she was genuinely, honestly happy looking. Been a bit since she seen that.

>What's got you lookin' like the pony that caught the fallin' apple?

"Oh, you hadn't heard? I won a bit of a bet earlier."

>Hm? Good ta' hear, Ah' guess. Who'd ya' win it against?

"Cadence."

>Heh, alright, what did she bet?

"A ride with Shiny."

There was a long, uncomfortable pause after that.

"Not like that, you silly mare... though, UNF, what I wouldn't give for a ride like that."

>Well aware, thanks.

"No, really, I would chop off my forelegs and break my horn for a night like that. Filling out paperwork with my hind legs from then on out would be totally worth it. I repeat, UNF."

>Please stop, this is puttin' uncomfertable images in mah head.

"Your problem, not mine."

>Well, Ah'm happy yer' gettin' yer'... 'ride', anyway.

"Oh, to be honest, I'm more stoked about how I won it."

>Hm?

"I beat Cadence in a bet about Sparklejoules. HAH! Ohhh, it was amazing to watch her crumble when I won."

>...Yer' studyin' those sparky whatsists too?

"Mm? Oh, yeah, of course."

>Why?

"Cadence is currently the leading authority on them, so of course I have to figure out as much as I can. I have to sell the body double thing, after all."

>...

"Is something wrong?

>Yer' pretty convincin' as Cadence now, ain't ya?

"Pfft, right? I keep joking I just need to rename myself Cadence 2 already."

>Did yer' Queen order ya' ta' learn about those sparky whatsers?

"What, Chrysalis? HAH! She hasn't ordered me to do jack shit in months... though I guess she did bring it up as a joke, does 'Oh yeah, you're totally Cadence 2, except, you know, in the LOVE areas! HAH!' count as ordering me to do something? If so, I am far more obedient than expected."

>Ah guess not...

"Aww, why the face? You worried I'm going to try replacing her? Oh, come on Applejack, you should know me better than that. She's annoying with her requests, but it's Cadence! I like her, really. Wouldn't trade her for the world."

>Would ya' trade her fer' Shining Armor?

Once again, that uncomfortable silence resumed.

"...Pfffft! HAH! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If she went down, what, you think Shiny would just move on? Plllleeeeeeaaase. Guy loves her, no if ands or buts, she's not interchangeable with anyone... least of all me."

>Sure, now ya' sell yerself short.

"Just saying, if something ever happened to Cadence, I don't think Shiny would be in a remarrying mood. You know?"

>Right...

"And seriously? Don't talk about stuff like that. I don't want Cadence gone, for anything. Not even S-sh... not even Shiny. I'm going to keep the Empire running smoothly, and with prosperity, for as long as I am alive. That's my reward, not Shinybits. M'kay?"

>Course, didn't mean ta' offend.

"Good, then let's speak no more of it... a-hem, ~bubbly bobber!~"

Responding to her quite well pitched voice, the machine dispensed her candy.

"Have fun, Applejack, I know I'm going to."

>Right, course Ah' will. Take care, ya' hear?

"You too... especially you too, if Celestia started farming out your paperwork to me, I think I'd go crazy."

>No more so than usual.

"HAH!"

But as the disguised Changeling disappeared down the hall, Applejack felt no less... uneasy. Memories of a certain other changeling in a library flooded her mind. She really is looking like Cadence 2.0...

>Ah'm being stupid.

Strange.

Even her own voice sounded unconvincing.
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