[Hanako] I'd Rather Have You

I'd Rather Have You


"H-Hisao?"

A cute stutter brings me out of my nap, my eyes slowly peeling open. Dim light streaks in through our blinds, a new set that we picked out the other week at the local department store. I notice flake after flake of snow falling from the light grey sky, collecting into a hefty amount on the ground outside. I pull myself away from my sleepy thoughts, turning my attention to the girl sitting on the other side of the sofa. I tease her a bit, groaning in response.

"Hanako, why must you wake me from such a wonderful nap?"

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't realize that y-you-" I cut her off with a laugh while propping myself up, wrapping my arm around her shoulder.

"I'm just kidding with you, darling." She smiles in her typical shy fashion as I plant a light kiss on her forehead, drawing a blush to her cheeks. "What's up?"

"Oh, w-well I was just thinking a bit while you were sleeping..." She trails off, breaking her eye contact and looking down towards the ground. She seems a bit embarrassed about something, which is a bit unusual. She has made a lot of progress with getting embarrassed or hiding things around me in comparison to the day that we met, which was a little over seven years ago.

When we both graduated from university, Hanako attending to become an interior designer - something that I had honestly thought should wouldn't be interested in the slightest - and myself attending to become a medical physicist. We were attending the same school, but didn't move in together until our final year of studies, and that was because I had proposed to her. A year later, shortly after graduating, we got married.

About three years after that, we're at this point. I've managed to reel in a beautiful wife, and on top of that, we're now expecting our first child. My non-occupied hand moves down to her stomach, feeling around the product of 35 weeks. My thoughts are drawn away for a moment, my hand gently stroking the bump. She brings her eyes up from the ground to meet mine once again, a large smile arising on her lips.

"Hisao..." She breaks our loud silence, everything being done by motions and actions rather than words. I can see tears welling up in the corner of her eyes, which sends me nearly into a panic.

"Hana, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Nothing is wrong at all, it's just..." She smiles for a moment and places her right hand over top of mine, her other hand taking it's spot underneath of her belly. "It's j-just everything is right." I raise an eyebrow at her, slightly confused. She catches my expression, which draws yet another blush to her face. I figure I'll ask anyways.

"What do you mean?" She looks me in the eyes, a little trail of moisture sliding down her cheek. I raise my hand out from underneath hers and lift it to her face, cleaing the tear from her cheek with my finger. This earns me a kiss of gratitude, her soft lips melting together with mine. We hold it like that for what feels like an eternity, a tender moment that I wish would never have to end. She's the one to break it, her forehead resting against mine as she begins talking.

"I n-never thought that I'd ever be a w-wife, let alone be having a child w-with the boy who practically saved my l-life." Her adorable stutter has returned in full in her emotional moment, something that has never completely faded from what might as well be considered her past life. She became a new person, trying her best to become at least slightly social with her design team and a few college friends. Her past has always been with her, but rather than seeing it as something tying her down, it has become something that has pushed her forward. I sigh a bit at her statement, regardless of where my thought process has gone. She has done this before, and it always makes me feel terrible. Hopefully she takes it somewhere else this time.

"I've told you already, I didn't save anyone's-" She cuts me off abruptly, standing up and giving me 'the look', hands on her hips as she sets forth on her tangent.

"Stop s-saying that!" She sounds frustrated more than angry, which I'm certainly glad about. We don't argue often, mainly because she's still a very soft spoken girl. "You know that I would have b-been left alone forever if it wasn't for you, you... you're basically the r-reason I've had any success!" She stumbles over her words, and I'm not sure if it's because of the way she's speaking or if it's due to her trying to gain a train of thought.

I rise up from my seat and wrap her in a gentle embrace, her tense muscles relaxing as arms wrap around her waist. Careful to not push on her stomach, I lean in and whisper in her ear.

"I didn't do anything to make you successful, my love. I've just always been your biggest fan." I can feel a warm moisture stain and seep through my shirt, meeting my skin. I pull back to see her crying again. "You never needed any help. You just needed someone to cheer you on." She wraps around me tightly, sobbing what are hopefully tears of joy. My hopes are confirmed when she pushes up on her tiptoes, elevating her high enough so that she can give me a kiss on the forehead. When she comes back down, she snuggles her head into my chest, my erratic heartbeat seemingly always being an outlet of comfort for her.

"Hisao?" She breaks our silence, looking up into my eyes like a child who had just gotten what they wanted at Christmas time. Quite convenient that it's snowing outside, no?

"Yes, Hana?"

"Do you... do you t-think I'll be a good mother?" I laugh a bit and ruffle her hair about. She literally looks like a lifetime of stress and pain has been lifted from her shoulders.

Maybe that's what happened. Maybe she's been reborn a little inside.

"The best in the entire universe." Sealed with a kiss on the lips, I crouch down and lift up her shirt a little bit. This draws a surprised yelp, which is quickly subdued as I place a gentle kiss on her belly. I listen for a minute, hearing the gentle kicks against the the inside of Hanako's womb. She reaches down and flicks me on the forehead to bring me back from my dazed state. I extend my legs from their previous crouched position and stand back up to meet her.

"You feel a bit cold. Can I interest m'lady in a cup of tea?" She giggles a bit at my formalness as I treat her like a princess. But, that's what she is to me. She's my princess, a girl who never needed a knight in shining armor to come and save her; she just needed someone to give her a little nudge in the right direction.

"That would be great." She shoots me a light smile and clutches to my arm as we walk out of the living room and move into the kitchen. I pull out a chair for her and place the kettle on the stove before taking my seat beside her. She reaches and links her hand with mine on top of the table as I stare out the far window. My life feels refreshed, but refreshed doesn't feel like the right word to describe it.

Maybe we've both been reborn.

Together.



'I'd Rather Have You' is a song produced by Submerse.