Suicide anon, Applejack

>Equestria
>Land of friendship and kindness
Yeah right
>You sigh as you stare up at the starry midnight sky
>You know better than that now
>Life isn’t even close to being ok
>Magic really is op
>Your physical strength is lacking compared to earth ponies and even many pegasai
>Dexterous hands are nothing compared to unicorn magic
>All the ways you tried to rip off good old human inventions has been a bust
>Either magic already did it better, or ponies wouldn’t see the need
>That’s if you can even hold an audience with one at all these days
>Ponies casually ignore you at best
>Some will actively avoid you or find excuses to leave your presence
>Those are the nicer ones
>Most just throw things at you
>So it’s no wonder you can’t get a job
>You’ve been living in a cave out in the everfree for a while now
>Your camping days as a boy scout have served you well enough
>Only got sick of plants 5 times
>In 2 years’ time, you’d say that’s not bad
>All this time alone hasn’t been a good thing
>It has let you think
>Think far too much
>Trying to find a point to keep going
>You still haven’t found one
>There’s been the little things of course
>Side projects that never actually amounted to much
>Even once completed
>A rush of accomplishment, quickly dying out with nobody to share it with
>The log cabin-esque front entrance into your cave
>The chairs
>The table
>The bed/hammock
>The paintings of beautiful places you’ve seen
>The woven doormat saying “Welcome”
>Sure you’ve had to go dumpster diving for some of the supplies and tools
>In the dead of night
>When nopony was awake to throw rocks
>Last time you were there, you found a broken acoustic guitar
>It seemed like a waste, so your last project was patching it back together
>It took a lot of time, patience, and a little ingenuity
>But you now have a reasonably decent sounding guitar on your hands
>You think about playing it
>You remember how much the ponies love their music
>Too bad they’d chase you out as soon as you’d sit down to try and play
>…
>You remember when you first arrived
>You spent so much effort even getting here, never mind that it was a one way trip
>Celestia had been kind to let you stay in her kingdom
>Ponyville had been the obvious choice
>They seemed so nice at first
>But the novelty wore off
>Soon you were just a bother
>Then a nuisance
>Then nothing
>Must have up and forgotten you by now
>Haven’t seen a one in about 9 months
>And now here you are
>Leaning against an apple tree right next to the forest
>All dressed up, washed and shaved (Can’t go out looking like a slob after all)
>A guitar in your lap and a knife in your hands
>Tonight was the night, you’d finally decided
>No more pain, no more loneliness
>…
They really are beautiful here
>You mutter to yourself, your head still turned up
>Being out in the countryside in a world with almost no pollution made the sky look so filled with stars
>Nothing familiar, but still far nicer to look at than anything you’d seen back on earth
>You hold your gaze for a time
>After a while, you finally turn you head to the knife in your hand
>And the guitar
>You’re still not sure why you pulled it out here
>Who would even be there to listen?
>The sky?
>The wind?
>…
>You?
>…
Ha. Why not
>You mumble to yourself with a sad smile
>Might as well go out with one last song
>What to play…?
>You think for a moment
>Your smile grows bigger for a moment when the idea comes
>It’s so dumb
>But somehow it feels right to you
>People would call you a faggot, but what do you care now
>You take a moment to get the first notes
>Then you play
>…
>…
>A final glance at the vast expanse of stars is the last thing you grant yourself
>You take the knife and slash at your wrists, sure to cut deep
>Almost immediately you feel light headed
>Sounds dull around you, as does your sight as you gaze lazily at the stars
>The blood loss is getting to you fast
>With a yawn, you close your eyes and lay limp against the tree
>Wonder what the afterlife will be like?
>…
>Guess you’ll see
>…
>…



----A FEW MINUTES EARLIER----
>You are Applejack
>Something has been keeping you up
>Just one of those nights you suppose
>A walk around the orchard ought to do some good
>A clear night like this always does good
>You look up at Luna’s night sky
>Such a pretty sight
>You don’t think Princess Luna gets enough compliments on it
I oughtta write to her tomorrow…
>You absent mindedly declare
>Your thoughts are halted when a sound rang out from the edge of the orchard
>Curious, you walk towards it
>As you get closer, you start to see a shape next to one of the apple trees
>It subtly moves and the sound comes again
>This time as a hauntingly calm melody
What in tarnation..?
>The sounds stop
>But only for a moment
>Then the singing begins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4
>Something about it is hauntingly sad, but somehow beautiful
>You can only stand in awe as the pony keeps playing
>When they do stop, you head over to them
>As you get closer the figure moves and you see more of who it is
>It has long arms with hands at the end of them
>Too small a frame to be a minotaur
>…
>Hey isn’t that the critter that moved in a while ago?
>You haven’t seen him in a long while
>Wonder where he’s be-
>Oh god what’s he doing?!
>He has a knife, and...
>Oh no
Stop! Please stop!
>You shout as you run to close the distance
>But you’re too late
>You see the shadpe of the blade running hard against the arm
>What must be blood dripping down
>You keep shouting, but it has no effect
>As you get closer and closer, you see his eyes start to close
Oh no ya don’t sugarcube!
>But the eyes still close
>You finally reach him where he sits still, leaning against the tree with pools of blood forming where his hands lay in the dirt
Stay with me partner, please
>You whisper as you try to think of what to do
>In an instant a plan arrives
>You rip two strips from the shirt and quickly tie them around the cuts
>Then you throw him over your back
>And turn to the orchard gates
>Not far past them would be the hospital
Thank Celestia they’re open at night
>You murmur to yourself as you run
>You hope you’re fast enough…
>…




----Later----
*Beep*
>What is that noise?
*Beep*
>You try to think back
*Beep*
>You were...
*Beep*
>Oh yeah
*Beep*
>You had slit your wrists at the base of a tree in the far corner of the orchard
*Beep*
>Why the beeping?
*Beep*
>Did…
*Beep*
>Did someone save you?
>…
>You drown out the beeping and try to focus on your senses
>You are laying down on something
>Likely a bed
>You try to move your legs
>Then your arms
>Then your fingers
>All systems respond
>Everything is sore
>You listen past the beeps
>There’s some ambient noise of birds from outside
>Faint sounds of footsteps can be heard a ways away from you
>Are you in a hospital?
>You take a deep breath
>…
>Yep
>That’s the smell of a hospital room alright
>You slowly open your eyes, wincing first at the light
>You are met with a plain grey ceiling
>You try to think of how you got here
>Did you wake back up on earth?
>Was it all a coma dream?
>…
>That might be nice…
>You feel a twitch at the side of the bed
>“ ’s gonna… …. right…”
>A voice mumbles incoherently
>With more effort than you’d like, you roll your head over
>To your great surprise, you see none other than Applejack
>Sleeping at the side of the hospital bed, looking a little worse for wear
>You can’t fathom what she’s doing here
>Did she…
>Drag you here?
>…
>Your thoughts falter as the orange pony stirs again
>This time opening her eyes
>They lock with yours
>…
>For a moment, silence reigns
>You just with a blank stare in your eyes
>Her with a hopefulness in hers
>Finally you break the silence with a raspy whisper
Why?
>With only a second’s pause, she replies
>“I heard yer song… It was so… sad”
>She pauses for a moment
>You wonder how much of it she had heard
>And why she bothered to listen
>“I guess… I never thought to see how you were doin…”
>She starts
>You look at the pony questioningly
>You had the rather distinct impression that nopony cared
But…
>You start to rasp
>“Oh! Here sugarcube”
>Applejack hooves over a glass of water from a bedside table
>You feebly reach up to take it
>As you do, you get a glance at your arms
>Both are covered in bandage wrap from tour elbow to your hand
>You guzzle the sweet fluids down, lessening the dryness
Thanks
>You almost whisper
>Applejack nods, then continues
>“I can’t help but feel so wrong for not even noticing. Looking back, you had been avoiding everypony before you… disappeared.”
>She softly stated
More like they avoided me…
>You mumbled
>She didn’t seem to hear it though
>She was staring right into your eyes
>She looked almost... ashamed
>“I’m so sorry”
>Sorry
>Hmm
>Your snort a little at that
>She couldn’t know what it was like
>Living the way you did
>You are about to make a retort when the door at the end of the room opens up and a white pony with a pink mane walks in
>“Oh! I see you’re awake. Applejack, could you leave us for a moment? I need to ask our patient some questions”
>Applejack looks at the nurse, then back to you
>She hesitates
>Then replies
>“Sure thing Nurse Redheart.”
>She gets on all fours as she slides off the bed
>She starts to go, but stops
>She looks like she wants to say something, but stops
>“I’ll be outside”
>She tells Redheart
>She throws a last glance at you
>“You should sing more.”
>She half whispers at you, then turning and walking out
>…
>The door closes
>“Well now Mr.… I’m going to have to ask you a few questions…”





>It’s been a week and a half
>You had spent 3 days in a coma-like sleep
>You stayed in the hospital for a few more days
>Applejack visited you a few times
>She even brought your guitar
>It had some bloodstains on it where you held the neck
>After being let out, she insisted on walking you home
>She was surprised as you lead her into the everfree, but she didn’t say anything
>Until you made it to the door
>“Home sweet home”
>You bitterly remarked
>Applejack seemed stunned into silence
>She followed you in, eyes wandering over all your creations
>“You… built all this yourself?”
>You simply nodded in response
>You haven’t said much since waking up at the hospital
>But Applejack had kept near when she could
>You feel like it might mean something
>Maybe at least this pony would keep you company
>You see that the water jugs had filled while you were gone, so you make some tea
>Aj stayed silent for a time, marveling at your paintings
>“All this time… and I never knew….”
>She muttered to herself
>She finished her tea then got up
>“I have to go back to the farm”
>She stated softly
>You didn’t respond
>Though your shoulders slumped a bit
>“Can I come by tomorrow?”
>She asked, a spark of hope in her inquiry
>You smile at this
Could you bring a pie? It’s been… a long time
>You reply
>A soft smile emerges on her face as well
>“Sure thing, sugarcube”
>She declares
>You show her out the door, guitar in hand
>Something changed
>You felt… optimistic again
>As she walks away, you grab a chair and sit outside with the guitar
>And you begin to play
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHVBzLGAIbU