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- >”Ma'am, I don't want to harm you, but I will do what I must to survive. Please put the money in the bag, and I'll be on my horse and out of Tuscon in...”You pull out your pocket watch and check” 3 minutes, 52 seconds.”
- >Tipping your hat low enough to cover your eyes, you puff your cigar and let out a small smile.
- >She looks at you, at your golden watch, at your revolver, then back at you.
- >”Ma'am, please.” You gently nudge the bag towards her.
- >You see her expression.
- >You know what she is about to do.
- >Why are these things never easy?
- >”HELP, ROBBERY! HEEELP!”
- >God damnit.
- >You hop over the counter, cocking the hammer of your Colt 45.
- >Grabbing her by the front of her dress, you pull her down under the counter as a flurry of bullets fly above your head..
- >Jesus, these guys wasted no time.
- >Then again, this lovely little town was never known for its hospitality towards bank robbers.
- >Seriously. Robbing Tuscon was a terrible decision.
- >Why are you doing this again?
- >You pull what is left of the old register to the ground, the drawer popping open as a ton of cash spills out
- >Ah, that's why.
- >Staring into the bank-teller’s eyes, your voice is barely a whisper.
- >”You just couldn’t put the money in the bag, could you, you hussy.”
- >She is terrified, her sobs barely audible above the volley of gunfire.
- >You continue stuffing the money into the bag.
- >If you were gonna die, you're gonna die guns blazing, and with a bag cash in your hand.
- >You look up, and see the safe.
- >Big metal door. Completely bulletproof.
- >And you'd have no exit, Anon.
- >You're right brain. Now I know why I keep you around.
- >And if you were to get rid of me, you'd cease to exist.
- >That too.
- >That thick metal door will help you with this part of your plan
- >You grab a stick of dynamite from your inside coat pocket, and light it on the end of your cigar.
- >Probably not safe, but dynamite hardly ever is.
- >As soon as the fuse starts sparking, you throw it full force into the safe, and dive to the side, grabbing the teller before your roll.
- >Using your body to shield the innocent from any potential shrapnel, you wait for the explosion.
- >And you wait
- >And wait.
- >Seriously, where was the-
- KA-BOOM!
- >Ah, there it is.
- >There appears to be a ceasefire.
- >You peek your eyes above the counter, holding your other hand over the girl's mouth.
- >Everyone is either KO'd, stunned from the explosion, or reloading.
- >Good enough for you.
- >You leap over the counter, shooting towards the attackers.
- >Most take cover, others are too stunned to realize they're getting shot at.
- >Bursting out of the saloon style doors, you look side to side looking for your horse.
- >Ah, there's M.
- >You run towards him, vaulting over the hitching post, and hopping in the saddle.
- >”HYAH!” You dig your heels into the horse's sides, and take off like a bolt of lighting down the main road.
- >As you leave the edge of this trainstop town, you hear “Anon” “Wanted” and “Kill”
- >You have been a part of many robberies in your day. You can tell by the bullets flying above your head and the angry shouting behind you that this isn't going to end peacefully.
- >While still running, you open the bag of cash.
- >After grabbing a fistful of dollars and shoving them into your tan duster, you grab a small flask you have latched to the side of M.
- >The first time you tried this, you lit yourself and your horse on fire.
- >You and M still have the scars from it.
- >But after a few dozen tries, you have gotten good.
- >You dump the contents of the flask into the bag, and hastily shove the flask back into its holster.
- >You didn't notice that some of the liquid had managed to splash onto you and your coat.
- >You pull a match from your coat pocket, and strike it against your hat.
- >Dropping the match into satchel, you wait for it to igni-
- >SHIT TOO MUCH LANTERN FLUID.
- >The fire trails up the bag and onto your coat sleeve.
- >”SHITSHITSHITHOTHOTAUUUGH!”
- >You frantically wave your arm around, dropping the bag.
- >Must be quite a sight, really.
- >Half the town is chasing after you, bullets are flying above your head, and you just dropped a bag of burning money because your right half is now on fire.
- >A realization hits you like a slug from a 45.
- >Wait...
- >Your right half is on fire...
- >That's where you keep your dynamite.
- >In an effort to prevent a grisly demise, you try to grab the stick of dynamite and throw it away from you.
- >As it leaves your fingers, your vision burns orange for a second and your ears ring.
- >Then, darkness.
- >Pain shoots through your body as you jolt upright
- >Of course you're in pain. A death stick just went boom not a foot from your face.
- >Thanks for the analysis, brain.
- >Opening your eyes, you see trees everywhere.
- >This isn't where you parked your horse.
- >You slowly rise, and pat your body down.
- >Your jacket has some burn marks on it, but everything else about it is fine.
- >Well, everything except for the fact you are feeling nothing but pain.
- >Not a sharp pain. It's more like the pain you feel after working the fields all day.
- >Good honest work for good honest folk.
- >And an honest to goodness pain on your fit form.
- >You hobble towards a tree, using it for support
- >”Damn, this hurts.”
- >”You feeling okay, Anon?”
- >”Not really. I'm really achi-” Wait...
- >Drawing your revolver, you point it at the bush that seems to be talking to you
- >”Who's there?! Show yourself!” You quietly check the drum.
- >Good,it's still loaded.
- >”Wait, you can understand me?” The voice says again.
- >”Of course I can understand you, you're speaking perfectly good English. Now tell me who you are before I start shooting!”
- >Silence falls.
- >After an eternity of a moment, the voice speaks again.
- >”Anon, you really wouldn't shoot your only friend in the world, would you?”
- >You pause for a moment before responding.
- >”Momma?”
- >”2 things wrong with that guess. Firstly, I'm a male, you damn fool. Second, your momma died when you were born.”
- >Well this person clearly knows about your past.
- >”Why dontcha come outta those bushes and reveal yourself, friend.” you say, revolver still aimed at the foliage.
- >”Put the revolver away, and I’ll come out..”
- >Holstering your revolver, you see a still saddled M walk through the bushes.
- >He looks different though. His face is more...face-y. And he seems more vividly colored.
- >”Get out from behind my horse, you yellow bellied son of a bitch” you draw your revolver and point it towards M.
- >You like your horse. You'll be damned if some boot licking snake is gonna use him as cover.
- >M turns around to look behind him, effectively turning around in place.
- >Always a smart horse.
- >”There's no one there, Anon. I think that dynamite hit yer head harder than you thought.” M looks back to you, clearly speaking.
- >”Yeah... I think so too.” you put your revolver back into the holster, and lightly grab your head.
- >”Are you feelin ok Anon?” M cocks his head, staring at you with his comically large eyes.
- >You simply stare at his moving lips.
- >His lips move because he is speaking, Anon
- >THANKS FOR THAT OBVIOUS BIT, BRAIN.
- >He doesn't have a bit in his mouth. He probably couldn't speak if he had a bit in.
- >SHUT. UP. BRAIN.
- >”Nope. Not ok in the slightest.”
- >Your legs fail you, and you crumple to the floor.
- >You're unconscious before you hit the ground
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