La Dame Blanche et le Chevalier Noir

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. We made it though the end of this year and we are starting a another. I got home and told some of my epic stories to the old shady coot that is my grandma (I love her) and celebrated Christmas with her since no one else would. She sometimes said that what I've been doing is epic, crazy, stupid or dangerous. But she also told me to go after Arthur and the Knights of the round table and wanted to know more about Yukari and what she's on about, so of course I told her. However, she told me to avoid rich spiritual places and if I get a headache or my instinct press me to go to that place, I must avoid them at all costs. She's kind of what we call in France; “Madame Irma” and she possess way more esoteric knowledge than I do and she's way, WAY too good with cards. Anyway, back for what you here for.

30 December 2024, new moon. There are something always exceptional about the night skies of winter. Sure it's cold, but you are never bothered by bugs and the night truly at it's deepest during winter, especially during new moons. You just have to see it. Alright, so I was driving though the night towards a river far form towns so I don't get screwed by the damn city lights and quench my nomadic needs. In a nutshell; Going to a place to wild camp.

Well, for those who want to drive at winter night into the country roads of France. You shall be careful, because it get heavy foggy really quick and if you get into the negatives then it can become icy. Driving though the heavy mist is nice and I won't complain about that, because I'm a weirdo. So yeah, I've been driving towards my destination, even if I almost don't see the road but I'm a fairly good driver so that be alright. Plus, driving focus all my attention so I don't think at anything else other than driving so I don't feel the influence of the moon up my head.

I'm still driving though the deep mist and I notice than it become heavier and heavier, almost supernaturally. I quickly look at my hand, thinking it is me who are starting this fog but it is not since it doesn't fully absorb the light. But I know than something's unusual. Damn, not right now. I notice than some of my indoor lightings began to screw up and flash while I'm driving! Bloody hell! I still remain calm and focus on driving, else I'm gonna chew a tree or something. Guess after all my adventures I gained nerves of steel.

I can see a figure, even on all this mist, someone's on the road, it is doing hitchhiking? On that time of the year and the day? On a bloody country road? What the devil? I stop near the figure trying to know more and also I can't let them in that bloody cold without picking em up, I may be asocial but I'm not a complete asshole. And it appear to be really long haired female with a large chest wearing a white dress. OH SEIGNEUR! A DAME BLANCHE! Well, for those who don't know what's a Dame Blanche is, they're bloody bringers of doom. I suggest you look it up on the internet, it's some real stuff.

This etherial figure is coming near me and bloody hell, the light of my car act like a damn Christmas wreath! Supernatural fog, car lights doing the super simon, bloody ghost! But why I still remain calm like those events are usual?! Are my subconscious getting ready for a fight or it know the catch or maybe I'm dreaming? Then I can see the color of her long hair, golden blonde. Oh, mother of mercy! It's Yukari on a bloody Dame Blanche cosplay!

“What in the bloody hell?! Do I really need to take some meds?!” Well, at this point, I really begin to put my sanity into question.

“Would you take them if someone offered you some?”

“... Nah. But real question. Why are you in my world in the form of a Dame Blanche? Is that supposed to tell me a message?”

“Because it is common courtesy to take a Dame Blanche on the road~” Indeed... There's a unspoken rule that said you shall always take a Dame Blanche on your car.

“Right... Well, hop in the car. It's kind of cold out here.”

I open the right door of my car to let her enter, I tried to take a sneak picture of her with my phone but... It didn't worked since it was scrambled, dammit. Well, gotta keep going. So, yeah. Now I'm with a with a really familiar lady dressed as a bringer of doom on my damned car. At least it stopped doing the epileptic killer and work normally.

“So, where you are going this time?” “This time?” Did she peeked on me before? Lady, I would like some intimacy please...

“There's a good river nearby. At this time of a year, there's nobody expect probable hardcore campers, ghost hunters, stargazers or weirdos since we're far form towns. The sky would be at his nicest too.” Damn, I should make a guide to how and where to travel in France.

“Ah, I see. Astronomy is a serious business.”

“Damn wrong you are! Astronomy are the oldest science of humanity and opened the way to other sciences, pseudo-sciences and religions to develop! We made huge monuments of stone to the gods based on the position of the stars! Even today, we spend billions to look further into the universe until the damned cosmological horizon since we're limited by this stupid light-speed! Astronomy is THE business!” I could rent for hours about astronomy.

“I get your point. In my world, we also do astronomy alongside astrology and other occult sciences. Actually, I know a old coot who's into the stars so much than she call herself a god of the stars when she doesn't start to rambling about being a god of something else.” I hope doing astrology in here doesn't make you end up like a Youkai...

“Sound like a old lady on a wheelchair with dementia who doesn't remember who she is...” Well, she suddenly bursted out of laughter. I also think than I said something that shouldn't have been said, because I got a chill up my back. Not the first time than I offended someone tho.

Alright, now I than think of it. I'm driving with a long haired blonde with big melons on my side... Totally my type, I aren't gonna lie on that and since I'm only human I gotta have some... Lustful thoughts. I use the driving as a mean to not get too much focused into my dark muses, but damn it's hard!

“Heh, compared to your dream self, you are way less arrogant, hotheaded and bestial~” What the hell she mean by that?! Do she knows?! Well, shit. I suppose she also can see into minds by twisting a border or two.

“We're arrived!” Right on the moment! Well, I gotta take my stuff and my lucky stick and try my new pair of field glasses on this night! I'm always heavy packed because I like being comfy and camping like a king and I have no problem carrying heavy stuff for long periods. In fact, I become quite the strongman by lifting heavy stuff.

Alright, so we gotta walk at little to arrive at the perfect place. I wonder how she isn't cold because she's wearing only a light white dress... Can Youkais get cold now I than think of it? So we're walking on the trail in almost total darkness, but there is a cold wind that rattle the grass which I enjoy because I'm a fan of ambient dark. When I focus, I can hear the birds flying and other creatures moving on the ground and the water flowing nearby. Oddly enough, I can see very well in the dark. Her presence have something to do with that, because all my senses are becoming way more keen than usual.

“Travelling though the woods it is a second nature for you isn't?”

“If you mean by my forest walk then it might be indeed a second nature.”

“You know, Gensokyo have a lot of dark forests where you could walk and we have swords and food. You like swords and food don't you?”

“Beat it, I'm alright in my world. I still have some attachment to this world as rotten it may seem.”

Well, we arrived where I wanted to be, near the river but with close to no trees so I can perfectly see the sky. So I unpack my stuff and make a fire and set camp.

“Say, why don't you take those who absolutely want to go to Gensokyo? There's a ton of weirdos and depressed guys who want to get the hell out of this world.”

“They have nothing to offer to Gensokyo, expect than being free food and not even good at that. Most of them are just not worth the effort to spirit them away or some imagine than they can change everything and transform Gensokyo into their paradise when it is not. The reasons for that are too many.”

“Heh, you really like keeping your secrets hidden aren't you? That's fine. But tell me, in what me and my dream self are so different?”

“You're a man pretending to be a beast while your dream self is a beast pretending to be a man.” Damn... I sometimes prefer when she's shady. “Men and their dream selves are often different, depending of their psychic potential or training they can alter the reality of their dreams to be actors then lucid or can even developing abilities such as divinations or become shamans. Then just like vacuum generate out of nothing particles and anti-particles, self and dream-self are generated and become entangled. One sleep in the Materium while the other is awake in the Immaterium. But sometimes, the border between the two wear down during the phases of the moon, since the moon is a esoteric symbol related to way too many things or near a pond or lakes or strong spiritual places. Some think they can enter Gensokyo on a pond near Nagano in Japan or some think they can reach it by killing themselves. As for yourself, you resonate with one astral body in particular; The Moon. Since I can only reach you depending on the phases of the Moon while the border between the Materium and the Immaterium wear down and you take on your persona of the Black Knight.”

“Hold on, why you reach directly toward me and not the Black Knight himself?” I say while making dinner, because I'm damn hungry and I like hearing her talk.

“Because the Black Knight is it in a location inaccessible for me or no one I know as insane at it's seem. Avalon. While during full-moon, you and your dream-self become superposed and can get out of Avalon where I can reach you.”

“You look so much for me, because you find my quests entertaining or you need a overpowered knight of doom to ward off the daemons and aliens? I don't actually need a answer, you can guess just by the movements of my arm and hand. All the fights I have done have left their mark. My arm and hand moves like it's holding a sword, the way I move the knife to cut or the way I shift gears on my car. Hell, even the mouse of my computer, all lethally precise and quick sword movements. To be fair, I've grown attached to this power fantasy that are my dreams.”

“It's true than I need the Black Knight to protect myself and Gensokyo against the odds. Gensokyo isn't a tranquil land and numerous enemies lurk against it. Some have cartoonish evil reasons and some have way more serious reasons and are more powerful than the shrine maiden can handle, such as the Lunar-born know as the Beast of the sea of storms than you beat.”

“And a moon princess who would try to forcefully mate with me the next time she see me...” Well, just by saying that, she got irritated and muttered curses and insults towards her, which I find kind of funny. “Anyway, let's stop speaking of that shall we? It's ready to eat.” Some good old oak smoked salmon, penne, olive oil, mozzarella with good ale beer. MMMMMMMM! CA, C'EST UN REPAS DE SEIGNEUR! Well, just thinking of it again make me lose my English.

“Oh my Dragon God! That's good! It's been a while since I haven't eaten something European!” Well, of course she picked some.

“Hey! Don't take it all for yourself! Else I'll bloody starve!”

Well, for now it is just arguments about quantity of food and diverse things... I can't believe than I am having arguments with a etherial figure about food, booze and random things. But yeah, here I am doing so. After eating, I pulled up my new field glasses and give it a shoot at looking astral bodies. It's actually pretty nice then she tug on my sleeve, she probably want some attention so I give her the field glasses and she begin to speak about a fantastic version of Venus, just like the fantastic version of the Moon with the aliens and rabbits on it. Expect than it's all Venusian so it is probably a tropical environment with huge dragons and hot babes... That is actually interesting even she said than she can't travel on fantastic Venus like she can on the fantastic Moon. Naturally, I ask if there is a fantastic version of Mars with little greens and stuff? Well, she have yet to confirm. Most interesting would be Nibiru to be fair.

Time goes by and the celestial wheel turn on the road of time. Me and Yukari still talking about stars and stuff around the campfire and damn, I didn't notice than we were that close, she's basically leaning on me. I get the same feeling than when I generate those white flames of doom, my internal temperature and heartbeat rises like my very soul get on fire! A chill wind come out of nowhere and the fog get denser and even blacker like a wall of pure darkness. Then hear otherworldly screams like souls being tortured form the deepest abysses form hell in that darkness that bloody startle me! I moved a little away from her and the wall of darkness faded and the screams shutted. What the devil? She smiles mischievously at me, she's for something!

“Like a tiger that move away form the mirror~”

“What the hell was that?”

“Darkness. Outside. Void. Unknown. Boundless. Nothing.” Well, shit, she's scary now. My heart beat like a racing horse and I'm on full bloody alert. And again this bloody wall of darkness and the screams, I start losing control of my usual calmness and as I do so, the darkness amplifies itself.

“Calm yourself down, you are just getting startled by yourself.”

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself and the wall of darkness vanishes again.

“So, you're not the one responsible for this?”

“Maybe~ Maybe not~”

Alright, that was damn scary. As the Black Knight this would be nothing, since I'm not sure than I can feel fear on my persona but in reality, darkness is damn scary, especially when you already had your daily dose of paranormal with a girl form a video game, probably born to the imagination of a drunk Japanese guy, cosplayed as a harbinger of doom, know as the Dame Blanche. I think it's time for me to go to sleep.

Well, of course she followed me into my tent and good heavens, she's hot! Her long thin white dress, really spouse her forms such as her hips and chest and that damned long golden hair! Really give her something akin of a Goddess of Beauty! Aphrodite would have a run for her money! I almost forgot the bloody tantrum. Bloody hell, this is a emotional rollercoaster and I hate those. That's almost like she casted a spell on me! Well, my heart beat like a wrathful war god! Those events are happening too damn fast! We're together nuzzling on a damn bed, her golden hair smell way too nice and then she place my head between her DIVINE melons... Yup, I think I passed out of bliss on them.

I woke up on the emerald forests of Avalon as usual, covered in a white fiery aura and not in a mood to be messed with. Probably, due to the excessive stimulation in a short time than I have been put into. I use the black mist to trigger forest walk then end up on Yukari's house. I face up with who's seem to be a nine tailed fox lady... Ran.

“Are you the human that beat two Lunarians?” She's really on guard, the white aura really seem to make her uneasy or maybe because I popped out of nowhere, but her master often do that. Or because she's a beast Youkai, she have advanced wild instincts that must hell her; “Don't mess with him.”

“Damn right! I now have business with your boss.” I'm totally not freaked out by a woman with fox ears and nine tails, maybe it is because I'm not really myself.

“T-This way, but please... Take your shoes off, I just cleaned the floor...”

“Many thanks.” Well, I'm still polite and took off my shoes. Then I go walking on the corridor towards her room. I open her door and see her in her evening dress, lazing around as usual.

“H-Huh?! Where do you come form?!” She's startled and certainly didn't expect my visit.

“It's doesn't matter. I've come to make you mine.” I reach towards her, grab her wrist and pull her closer to me.

“H-Hold on! M-M-Make me yours?!” She's flushed as hell, but doesn't resist and place her soft hands on my board shoulders.

“Yes.” I lift her up like a princess and French kiss her. After the kiss her face become red form various emotions with some water on her eyes, I gently putted her on her bed and left without saying a single word.

I've come back form the corridors like a damned winner to retrieve my shoes.

“So what did you do to her?” She's seem pretty concerned about her master.

“Just a little payback...” I grinned satisfied.

“OH MY! MISS YUKARIIIIIIIIII!” Ran dashed towards the room of Yukari, thinking of the worst. Meanwhile, I used forest walk to get out and get back on Avalon then back to sleep.

I woke up in my tent, still bewildered by all this bloody turn of events. I think than me and my dream self are becoming like the moon; Same body but different at the same time. Like a damned identity disorder. Of course I packed up my stuff and all. Remember this golden rule; Leave nothing behind you. Then back to my grandma house, because it is new year eve... Well, happy new year and that's all folks.