The Happy Little Oct

FractalFluff, December 24, 2013; 20:17 / FB 15708
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The Happy Little Oct

>Be an octofluff.
>Live in a big... water... place
>Woo! Water is awesome!
>With your mummah and daddeh
>Woo! Parents are awesome!
>And your brother and sister
>Woo! Siblings are awesome!
>There are other octofluffs
>And some sea pony fluffies with their funny curly tails
>Tentacles are awesome! Curly tails are awesome!
>M-preg is awesome!
>Woooo!

>One day a strange new thing enters your world
>It's... long... with a big round thing!
>And on the round thing, there's a bag made from no-see stringies!
>Long things are so awesome! Round things are awesome!
>Being scooped up in a bag-thingy is awesome!
>You don't know where you're going, but it's sure to be awesome!

>Be a parent.
>Be out of work.
>Be broke.
>Be desperate to give your kids a nice gift.
>Hear about the octofluffs in nearby Lake Generica
>Appeared suddenly a few days ago
>Population explosion.
>All kinds of colours, really friendly
>Easy to catch.
>Be early in the morning, armed with a net made from a piece of mesh curtain.
>Be wishing you'd brought more buckets.
>Critters are jumping into your net
>Literally begging you to catch them!
>(As in, they grab the handle and squeal, "Noo fwend! Wan pway net game too! Catch fwuffy!")
>Soon you have two roiling, multicoloured buckets of mostly fluffies.
>This'll show your ex. Soon see who's an "irresponsible douchebag" now.

>Drive home. Open garage where you plan to store your fluffies.
>Hmm.
>Buckets are wayyy too cramped.
>Need an alternative.
>Fishpond is wayyy too fishy.
>Bath is wayyy too bath.
>Idea!
>The kids' old wading pool! That's big enough for whole schools of fluffies!
>Set it up, top off with water from your rain barrel.
>Got to be more or less the same as the lake, right?
>Add two buckets of water fluffies.
>"Yay!" "Woo!" "Noo home?" "Fwend!"
>Fluffies are happy.
>You're happy.
>High-five yourself, then go indoors.
>You love being smart and resourceful.

>Be an octofluff.
>Feel... less awesome.
>Not very swimmy.
>Your friends are feeling not-swimmy too.
>"Fwuffie need hugs?" you ask a passing octo.
>He doesn't respond.
>Just floats on the surface of the new water-place.
>Must be sleeping.
>"Fwuffy... nuu...feew..." says a sea-fluffy, then decides to stop talking and float on top of the water too.
>Time passes.
>Your friends are looking less and less pretty.
>More of them decide to play the Not-Swimmy-Eyes-Open-Sleepies-On-Top-of-Water game
>You don't think it looks like such a great game
>But it must be awesome if so may of your friends like it.
>The not-swimmy feeling is getting worse and worse
>And none of your friends will give you huggies.
>Maybe... if you played their game... they'd give you huggies again?
>You love your friends...

>Be a wading pool.
>Be full of fluffies.
>Stiff little fluffies with sightlessly staring eyes
>Gaping mouths
>Grey flesh under their fur.
>You're pretty sure that's not a good sign.

>Be an eight-year-old girl.
>Be visiting your non-custodial parent for Xmas.
>Non-custodial parent has a big surprise for you and your brother!
>It's in the garage!
>Maybe it's a bunny!
>Or even a puppy!
>You love Xmas.

>Be a mold inhibitor
>Be infused into some types of plastic
>The types used to make tems which get wet a lot, so they don't get stinky and mildewed.
>Like wading pools.
>Be prone to leaching out into the water
>But only in minute quantities.
>Be completely harmless!
>To humans.
>You love being a cyanide compound!

>Be Xmas 2013.
>Be fucked.