Hitler Cartoon Script Rough DRAFT

Hitler cartoon Episode one draft
notes:name undecided for robot. Panzy is a good name. so far.



Hitler: I'm finally home. (arrives at his house and opens door)
(Hitler then walks up to his miniature robot wearing a stahlhelm and turns him on.)
(the robot is limp but boots up to steadfast position. His cannon goes "boioingoing" (penis joke))
Robot: Hi Hitler!
Hitler: IT'S HEILL HITLER!
Robot: Sorry
Hitler: How have things since I've been gone?
Robot: I've identified a new possible threat. We have a new neighbor, and he apears to look Jewish.
Hitler: Shizer! This has to be a Zionist spy! I'm going under cover.

(Hitler then suits up in a kaki trench coat, sunglasses and fedora.)
(Walks up to the neighbors house and passes by a ferrari parked in his driveway.)
(Hitler rings the doorbell and a man answers. He has a big nose with dark hair and wearing half a suit.)
(Note that he is supposed to be italian but this won't be revealed until later)
Hitler: Hallo. I am a detective from the police department here to investigate a crime which you may have a possible suspect in.
Neighbor: I can assure you I did nothing wrong. You can search my entire house and you wont find anything. I swear I didn't do it!
Hitler: What is "it"?
Neighbor: Whatever you're accusing me of.
Hitler: Hmm, I noticed you have a ferari in your driveway. What kind of work do you do for a living?
Neighbor: Nothing.
Hitler: What is your last name?
Neighbor: Uhhhhh Smith, yeah!
Hitler: You don't look like many Smiths.
Neighbor: Well... that's just what my last name is.
Hitler: Sure it is. Did you celebrate Christmas last year?
Neighbor: Not really. Christmas was great when I used to get stuff. Now as an adult, I have everything I want. Giving sucks when everyone you know is an ungrateful peace of...
Hitler: Those are all the questions I have for today. Thank you for your time, jew.
Neighbor: What did you just call me?
Hitler: Nothing. Carry on.

(Hitler leaves and walks toward his house.)
(The neighbor is still watching from his door as Hitler enters his house.)
Neighbor: He is no real detective. He didn't even show me his badge. I tried to quit the mafia as gracefully as I could, but apparently there are still men out to get me.

Hitler (in his house): I've determined our new neighbor is infact Jewish. He is most likely a banker since he literally does nothing for a living. It also explians why he has a Ferari. He also doesn't celebrate Christmas either.
Robot: He definitely sounds like a jew. Did you get his name.
Hitler: His name is "Smith" (does finger quotes with hands).
Robot: More like Sheckleberg!
Hitler: Ha ha ha! Oh nein! I forgot, Germans are only supposed to laugh once a year. DON'T EVER MAKE ME LAUGH AGAIN UNLESS I TELL YOU TO! Is that clear?
Robot: Jawohl!
Hitler: Alright, Our next course of action is to have Shecklebeg eliminated in the least suspicious way possible.

(Next day later in Hitler's house.)
(Hitler is in garage dipping pennies with gold paint. He puts them in a van that has "free sheckels" painted on the side.)
Hitler: This will surely lure him in!
(Hitler then wheels in a poison gas tank with an antena and blinking LED)

(Cue to scene where neighbor dives to his house)
Neighbor: It look's like someone left their van open. Too bad I've given up stealing. I could've made a few thousand easy off of that thing.

(Hitler stares out of his window with binoculars. holding a remote with a big red button.)
Hitler: Shizer! He didn't fall for it. What if this guy really isn't a jew?
(Hitler goes under cover again and dons the same outfit. He walks up to the neighbor's house and rings the doorbell.)
(No one answers. Hitler gets agitated and then rings it repeatedly in an annoying fashion.)
Neighbor: F***head, I have a loaded AK-47 right behind this door!
(Hitler runs away and shrieks like a little girl)
(The neighbor opens his door pointing his AK at Hitler)
Neighbor: Turn around and put your hands on your head! Now walk towards me.
Hitler (in his head): I should've brought a cyanide capsule with me.
Neighbor: Now into my house.
Hitler: No need to point that commie gun in my face! I will sit down and surrender.
Neighbor: You thought this was a tommy gun?
Hitler: I said commie gun! Wait a second, are you... an Italian?
Neighbor: Yes actually.
Hitler: I AM SO SORRY! I didn't mean to offend my ally!
Neighbor: Now, who exactly are you? What gang are you working for?
Hitler: I am Adolf Hitler! Fuhrer of Deutschland!
(Hitler takes off his hat and sun glasses.)
(Neighbor is speechless)
Hitler: Are you happy you know who I am now?
Neighbor: Is this some kind of joke?
Hitler: No! I am the real Adolf Hitler!
Neighbor: I thought Hitler died in 1945.
Hitler: What happened was...
(Roundabout by Yes starts playing)

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