THE CASUAL FLUFFY OWNER’S GUIDE TO BAD BABBEHS

BadMunsta, May 18, 2014; ??:?? / FB ID: 21755
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THE CASUAL FLUFFY OWNER’S GUIDE TO BAD BABBEHS

One of the most troubling and potentially stressful parts of foal raising is the issue of maternal rejection. Before you let your mare breed, it is of upmost importance that you realize that when she wants “babbehs” she means healthy, normal foals only. She does not want runts, disabled foals, malformed foals, or, generally alicorns. She may even be displeased with a brown, gray, or green foal.

Regardless of how sweet and innocent you believe your mare to be, she is quite willing to reject, stomp, or even eat her own children. If you do not accept this fact, you will set yourself up for failure. That being said, there are ways to train a mare into accepting almost all classes of “bad babbehs.”

Deciding to teach your mare to “wuv aww babbehs” may seem obvious. However, you must ask yourself why you want her to accept bad babbehs, and if it is worth your trouble.

Preparing for a potential alicorn may seem obvious. However, if your mare and the stud have no known alicorn ancestry, the odds of an alicorn birth in a given is 2000 to 1. An alicorn with ideal coloration but no pedigree sells for $500 retail for a weaned foal, this translates into $250-300 wholesale, or $100-$150 wholesale for a newborn. A poorly colored weaned alicorn foal may only sell for $50-75 retail, and pet store offers of $10 store credit for a newborn are not unheard off, nor unreasonable.

From a purely fiscal perspective, preparing for a possible alicorn birth is unwise. Even the best foal your mare can produce will profit you less that what you spend on her in a year. Although flushing an all-white alicorn foal may feel foolish, remind yourself that you played the odds correctly.

Additionally, many owners are tempted to save all viable fluffies for “moral issues.” However, unless you are planning on keeping all the foals until their natural deaths, it is quite likely that your mare’s foals will be euthanised. With the exception of alicorns, maternal acceptance and ranking corresponds quite closely to human preferences regarding fluffies. The foal that is “saved” from rejection by his “loving” owner often ends his life in a shelter’s euthanasia room. Many animal welfare organizations suggest the pet grade fluffies should never be allowed to breed at all. Rather, you may want to explore foal adoption for your mare.

FOAL ADOPTION

Foal adoption is the process of purchasing a foal (singular) for your mare, not unlike human adoption of children. This has numerous advantages over breeding. It is much healthier for your mare, helps prevent fluffy overpopulation, and, most importantly, is much less stressful for you, the fluffy owner. By adopting a single foal, you dramatically reduce the risk of maternal rejection, and you completely eliminate the problem of maternal favoritism. If there is one foal, there is no possible way that your mare could possibly show favoritism.

However, before adopting a foal, be sure that your mare wants to be an adoptive mother, and wants to adopt the particular foal that you purchase. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for failure. (In fact, this applies to purchases of second fluffies.) Forcing motherhood on an unwilling mare will only result in stress and domestic discord for all involved. Do not try to “surprise” your mare with a foal. Likewise, do not purchase a runt, crippled foal, or derpfluff for your mare just because you feel bad for it. Your mare will definately not feel the same way, and you will just set yourself up for failure and dissapointment.

Your mare should be excited to adopt a foal. If there is any hesitation, the adoption should be posponed at least a week until your mare is completely ready, willing, and anxious for a new foal. Indifference, or even a lack of enthusiasm is a bad sign. Generally speaking, if your mare is less excited than she is for “skettis” or other treats, something is wrong.

Many young mares will insist that they want their own foals. However, as the mare ages, she will likely warm up to adoption. Some mares, however, will never be willing to adopt a foal. Generally, if a mare with no offspring does not want to adopt at 18 months, she probably never will. If extending your fluffy family is important, perhaps a young adult or sub-adult would be a better choice. Regardless of how much you want a foal, a pair of happy adult fluffies is better than an unwilling mummah and a traumtised foal.

Feeding a pre-weaned foal may present some difficulty. Most mares are able to mentally induce lactation, with the aid of a fluffy breast pump. Hormones, though expensive, can induce lactation in almost any mare, and in fact, most stallions. Waiting to adopt a foal until your mare can produce milk will ensure that your mare actually wants an adopted foal. Your mare’s lactation will probably be less than that of a post-partum mare, espeically if your mare has been spayed. However, it should be sufficent for a single foal. That being said, some formula backup is always recommended when raising nursing foals. Even if your mare is a diary-grade milk producer, fluffies are infamous for accidental deaths.

It is not recommended to manually nurse on your mare to encourage. While your fluffy may understand your purposes, other people may not. There are few more awkward then your mare insisting on giving you “miwkies” while you have company over. Even the best trained mare will somehow mention it at the worst possible moment.

Bottle feeding is more expensive and difficult. Additionally, some mares will conclude that they are “bad mummahs” if they are unable to nurse their adopted foal. If your mare is unable to lacatate, you should ensure that actually wants a foal, and will not be traumatized by being unable to feed it herself. It is not unheard of for a mare to conclude that because “bestest nummies make bestest miwkies,” her inability to lactate is due to her diet of kibble. In such a case, your mare will likely blame you for not feeding her “bestest sketties.”

However, there are also numerous advantages to bottle feeding. Your mare will not link her foal’s food to her food, and so, will not be as demanding. (Food demands during your mare’s period of lactation is due to a desire to produce high quality milk for her offspring. Despite the lacating mare explicitly stating this, many owners assume that the mare is just being greedy.) Additionally, some people find lactating fluffy udders unattractive or creepy.

Occassionally, fluffy udders are removed for cosmetic or disciplinary reasons. The author advises against all sorts of medically unneccessary surgery of fluffies, besides spaying and neutering. If the mare’s udders must be removed, the procedure should be done before pregnancy, and ideally, before puberty. Any amputation during pregnancy may result in a miscarriage, stillbirth, or runts. Udder removal during lacation is psychologically damaging to the nursing mare, and the swollen mammary glands make the surgery more difficult.

It is possible for stallions, especially neutered ones, to raise a foal. However, it is generally adivised to have a mare around. Both your stallion and the foal will feel as though the family is incomplete without a “fwuffy mummah” present. Sexually reassigning your stallion is also advised againt. Although some stallions have womb-envy and secretly want to be mummahs, most will resent being turned into a mare, and possibly enter a wan-die loop.

CLASSES OF BAD BABBEHS

Most rejected foals fall into the following classes: runts, injured (amputee) foals, alicorns, and “ugly babbehs”. Ugly babbehs include both gray/brown/green foals and apparent unexplained rejections. In fluffy speak, runts will be called “bad babbehs,” amputee foals will be called “dummeh babbehs,” alicorns with be called “munstah babbehs” and foals with undesirable colors will be called “ugwee babbehs.”

In a feral state, alicorn rejection is the strongest, followed by runt rejection, then amputee rejection, then bad coloration rejection. A mare will often believe that an alicorn is a monster, and will literally be afraid of it. In some experiments, feral mares have tried to nurse stillborn foals over an alicorn. The cause of this is unknown, although some have suggested that alicorn rejection has intentionally added by Hasbio, due to the unpopularity of Twilight Sparkle’s alicornification.

The rejection of runts is in part tied to smell. A mare will generally say a runt “no smeww pwetty,” while an otherwise healthy amputee foal will create no such response. Often, a mare will reject an entire litter if it consists of runts. The rejection of unattractive foals, and to a lesser extend, amputee foals seems to be tied to litter size. Feral or formerly feral mares have a greater tendency to thing out the litter.

Training a mare to accept bad babbehs of all classes is similar, except for alicorns. A mare that will accepts runt consistently, for example, will rarely, if ever, reject amputee or unattractive foals.

RUNT ACCEPTANCE

Before you decide to train your mare to accept runts, ask yourself if it is worth the trouble. Runts will range from almost normal fluffies to drolling incoherent derpfluffs. Rarely will a runt be better than the average fluffy, and as often as not, a runt will be much worse. Some people mistaken believe that runts are better behaved than typical fluffies. This is a romantic fantasy. The runt will not reward you for saving it from its “bad mummah.” Rather, a runt is far more likely to pay back its improper training with bad behavior.

You should ask yourself what you are planning on doing with the runt. ? If you plan on selling it or taking it to a shelter, who would adopt it? Although derpfluffs can be cute in small doses, no one actually wants to own one. If you plan on keeping it, how will your other fluffy(s) react to it? In all likelihood, your mare will never like the runt.

The easiest way to prevent the runt from suffering is to simply not allow your mare to have foals. Your mare is your responsibility and property. If she eats her own offspring, you are to blame for allowing the situation to happen.

The most important part of runt acceptance is starting early and taking a pro-active approach. Although training can never start too early, your should start no later than when you verify that your mare is pregnant.

If you wait until your mare gives birth and actually rejects a runt, you will most likely confuse her. Fluffy mares are hard wired to reject malformed, sick, or injured foals. Alicorns will actually frighten her. Your mare will not understand that she is supposed to love every foal. In fact, she thinks that part of being a “gud mummah” is rejecting bad babbehs. Even if she complies, she will be torn between her to desire to be a good mother (which see interprets as smashing a runt so that it does not steal her milk) and her desire to be a good fluffy by obeying you.

She may conclude that you are punishing her for some reason. Or worse, she may conclude that you are being mean to her for no reason, and act accordingly. This risk is espeically common and mares that have suffered abuse or trauma. The mare may try to run away, with potentially fatal results to herself or her offspring. Additionally, she may kill her own offspring because she thinks you are using the runt to steal all her milk, and would rather her foals die a quick death than a lingering one from starvation.

Likewise, she may over-think problems and reject her instincts in an attempt to please you. Often, this takes the form of being so afraid to favor one foal that she totally neglects all of them.

The first step is to train your mare not to think in terms of “gud babbehs” and “bad babbehs.” Both phrases should be entirely avoided. Unlike the human mind, the fluffy brain is hard wired for language. A fluffy can never learn a foreign language, and, in fact, can’t even advance beyond baby-talk. By changing terminology, you change your fluffy’s thought process, at least to some extend.

Your fluffy should never say “bad babbeh” or “gud babbeh” for that matter. The proper term for a misbehaving foal is a “bad fwuffy babbeh,” which your mare will interpret as “a foal who is ill-behaved.” “Bad fwuffy” and “bad babbeh” seem to be single concepts in the fluffy mind, rather than a concept plus a modifier.

Or, rather, there seems to be two “bad babbeh” defintions in the fluffy mind. One is the single concept, the badBabbeh, which steals milk from “gud babbehs”. The other is the “babbeh who is bad” concept, which could be applied to any foal. Calling a misbehaving foal a “bad fwuffy babbeh” eliminates the possibility of confusing a misbehaving foal with a defective foal.

Runts, amputee foals, and other unhealthy foals should be called “sickie babbehs.” Terms such as “nu weggie babbehs” for amputee foals are also acceptable. Your mare should learn the phrase “mummah wuv aww babbehs.” However, in her mind, “aww babbehs” means “aww gud babbehs.” Merely repeating that mantra and nothing else will not stop “bad babbeh rejection.”

Your mare also needs a reason to want to keep as many foals as possible. The phrase “bestest mummahs have mostest babbehs” may be helpful. However, this may be cause undo stress if she has a small litter. The phrase “bestest mummahs have wots of babbehs” is defective, as your mare may consider “wots” to mean “4 or more.” She may conclude that she already has “wots” of “gud babbehs” and doesn’t need any bad babbehs to increase the number further.

Milk insecurity may also be an issue for a mare. A healthy mare can support at least 6 foals, most can support 8. However, you should always have a supply of formula on hand in case of emergencies. A nursing foal should aways be allowed to drink until it is full. Rationing milk in an overly large litter will result, in theroy, in all the foals being malnurished, and unsellabe. In practice, even the best trained mare will not tolerate her “bestest babbeh” having “tummeh owies” and will thin her litter, often overzealously reducing it to only one or two foals.

Your mare should know that you are willing and able to provide milk if she can not produce enough. In the case of a milk shortage, she should be allowed to feed her favored offsprings first, while the less favored ones are bottle fed. Formula is just as good as fluffy milk for foals. Milkbags can be used instead of bottle feeding. However, purchasing a fluffy that was intentionally blinded and mutilated may raise some ethical issues for many readers.

While it may be tempting to rotate bottle feeding, or make the mare nurse the runt, doing so is often counter productive. It will cause the mare to view the least favored foals as “milk thieves” and almost guarantee that your mare will reject or even kill them. Alternatively, a mare may occassionally swallow her favored foals whole in an attempt to put them back in her “babbeh pwace.”

The use of “good babbeh” spray, or “bad babbeh smell” neutralizers are recommended for runts. Generally, otherwise healthy injured foals or ugly foals will smell correctly. The runt smell not only induce foal rejection, but is actually unpleasant for the mother. At high enough levels, it may even induce nausea, and cause the mare to under eat. The bad babbeh smell will generally go away in a few days for an undeveloped by otherwise healthy runt, but may last longer in unhealthy foals.

Runts should be sprayed at least twice a day, and after every bath. Additionally, if your mare complains that foal “nu smeww pwetty,” it probably needs another spraying. Even if you miss a spraying, once the mare accepts the foal, she is unlikely to reject it, with proper training.

The mare should not be allowed to eat any stillborn foals. Although this may seem obvious, some owners mistakenly believe that eating foals restores nutrients to the post-partum mare. Although the mare will need increased protein, nursing mother kibble, or even some dog food along with regular kibble or grass, will prove more than sufficent.

Additionally, any unsavable runts should be quickly and discreetly euthanised. They may be shown to the mare, but only after death. Forcing the mare to accept these foals will serve little purpose, other than generating grief when they die. Additionally, if you force her to accept non-viable foals, she may conclude that her other “bad babbehs” are also unsavable.

ALICORN ACCEPTANCE

Because fluffies view alicorns as “munstahs” a mare that will gladly take the sickliest of runts or even attempt to nurse a stillborn foal will panic at the sight of an alicorn.

Fortunatley, fluffies that are exposed to alicorns generally stop viewing them as a threat, even though they may still call alicorns “munstah fwuffies.” Although viewing images of friendly alicorns may help, it is generally recommended to introduce your mare to a real alicorn. Many mid-high end fluffy vets and petting sitting services offer alicorn aclimation services for a reasonable rate.

This must be done before the alicorn is born. In fact, ideally, it should be done before the mare is pregnant. The initial meeting with the alicorn may stress fluffies, and has been known to induce miscarriages.

BACKUP PLANS

Even the best training does not guarantee that a mare will accept all foals. However, it is important to know what runt acceptance looks like. Many people assume that since a human would focus on the weakest foal, a fluffy should do the same. Rather, the fluffy will focus most of its attention on the “bestest babbeh,” and the accepted runt will almost always be the “weast favowite babbeh.”

Although foal favoritism can be annoying to the owner, it is not harmful to the foals. In fact, many breeders assert that the favoritism shown to the bestest babbeh causes the other foals to be well behaved. Training a mare to not show favoritism is unneccessary, and has the capacity to backfire. For example, she may conclude that all foals must nurse at the same time, and decide that since all can’t have “fiwstest miwkies” none can. So long as the mare is not neglecting the runt, it will be fine. If you feel bad because it is not getting enough attention, the easiest solution is interact with it yourself. After all, you are keeping this runt because you want it, not to have a reason to find fault with your mare.

Once you are sure that the mare has actually rejected a foal, it should be placed in an incubator with a milk supply and “mummah puppet”. Preforming quadruple ampuation on the mare is not recommended. Blood loss from the surgery may stop lactation. Even paralysis or preemptive amputation before pregnancy is advised against. If the mare can’t move, she will be unable to train her offspring. Instead of hand-raising 1 foal, you will be hand-raising a litter. The mare will be unable to stop sibling on sibling violence, and the runt surely is not going to win a fight. The mare may even urge her “gud babbehs” to kill the runt once they learn to talk to avenge the amputation.

Healthy runts may be re-introduced after a few days. However, even if the “bad babbeh” smell is gone, the mare might not accept the foal. An alicorn, amputee foal, or unattractive foal will likely never be accepted once it is rejected.

Once the litter is grown, the mare will view no longer the rejected foal as a “bad babbeh” but as just another fluffy. Generally, this happens when the mare starts refering to her young as “big fwuffies” or says they “no be babbehs no moah.” However, this does not mean that the mare will act friendly toward the foal. A healthy runt will generally be accepted, while an alicorn just gets scarier as it grows larger.