Thread 6: Stories 135-150

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>SA
"AJ2"
'Chrysalis'
-AJ18-
[Cadence]
{42}
~Sombra~
~~~~~

>Sweetie? Honey bunch? Love of my life? We had an agreement, didn't we? We had a mutual agreement on this and you have violated it.

[It's not that bad!]

'OH GOD! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES IT WILL KILL US ALL!'

-What depths of hell have thee came from, foul thing! YE ARE A MOCKERY OF LIFE WITH THINE VERY PRESENCE!-

{Will you all stand back!? I can't hit it if we're all huddled together in a small room!}

'BURN THE HERESY WITH YOUR CLEANSING FIRE!'

[...Okay, next time, I promise I won't cook breakfast without you being there.]

>Glad you understand my point of view. Two, get off that thing, Shiny has to make it dead.

"Teehee! It's like Somby made out of mashed potatoes!"

~GRAAAAAGH!~

"Yay! Mushy thing fight!"

>...Somedays I wonder what would happen if I stayed in bed forever...

'ALL IS LOOOOOST!'

>Then I remember this place would probably burn to the ground.
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>Spike
"42"
'77'
*DT*
~~~~~
"Hey, Spike, I'm here and I brought the chips."

'Hello, 42'

"Oh, 77, you got here before me?"

>Easy since he's not beating up an entire army all day.

'That would be a waste of my time, I let my traps and their own fear do that for me.'

"And how's that working out?"

>They've learned not to pass out at the sight of blood. Come on in and make yourself at home, we'll get the game started once Diamond Tiara arrives.

"Why is she coming over anyway?"

>Her dad felt she needed to make friends. Plus Applejack's not interested in learning the game.

The door knocks a few minutes later

*I'm here, let's get this-*

She sees 77 and all color drains from her face

"Hey, kiddo, what's- whoa, what's up with her?"

>She's probably having a bit of a flashback from Miss Cheerlie's class. That mare is nuts.

Spike easily picks up Diamond Tiara like a wooden plank and sets her on the couch.

>I'm gonna go make us more snacks, any preferences?

"I'll come with you, I'm not sure what you have or what i'm quite in the mood for"

After 42 and Spike leave

*don't leave me...*

'Hello again, poppet'

DT whimpers again, on the verge of tears

'Oh, Spike's not going to like that stain you're leaving on the couch.'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>77
"Applejack"
~~~~~

>Tell whatever soldier is training after hours that I admire the gusto, but they need to stop fucking with my traps. Leave them be if you can't put them back together properly.

"....The hay are ya'll talkin' about?"

>One of the soldiers went through my gauntlet in Everfree, set off EVERY TRAP, and then put them back together! BADLY! Really really badly. Tell them if they spring it to leave it be, I'll put it back together.

"...Sug', mah soldier's are too terrified ta' even get near that place unless Ah' order them to. Ah'm pretty sure one broke his leg just so he wouldn't have ta' go there. Ain't nobody goin' down there."

>Well, someone is! And it's making me mad!

"...So, wait a sec, are ya'll sayin' someone set off EVERY trap?"

>Yeah?

"And there ain't no dead body or somethin'?"

>...Wait a minute.

"So someone went through this long, long trail o' traps, settin' off every one of 'em, but never actually gettin' snared. And then they put them back. Badly, ya' said, but they put them back all the same. Through a place that makes SOLDIERS terrified ta' even be near?"

>Huh... guess you're right. Who's doing this?

"They leave any evidence?"

>Nothing except a lot of scorched earth, could have been any unicorn or magic user.

"Well, search fer' a clue. Ah' mean, it's no biggy either way, seein' as the forest is open to the public, but still. Don't want 'em ta' hurt themselves."

>Yeah... yeah...

He leaves, a thoughtful look on his face.

>Who could have done that?
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>SA
"AJ2"
'Chrysalis'
-AJ18-
[Cadence]
{42}
~Sombra~
~~~~~

'So what's this movie about?'

>SHHHHH!

-That guy looks dumb. Is that supposed to be armor?-

>SHHHHH!

[Oh, wait, I'm lost. Is that a good guy?]

{When are they going to start fighting? This is boring.}

"Hey! Not-Mom! Check this out!"

'Holy crap, you can scoop up popcorn with these!?'

"UH HUH!"

'Being a Changeling is awesome!'

>SHHHHHHH!

[Oh no! Did he just get hurt!]

-I think he's dead.-

[Oh no!]

"But he's a badguy, ain't he?"

[Oh, in that case, yay!]

{THAT killed him!? That was just a little poke! Shiny's hit me harder than that! At least make it a big poke!}

'*Snort* wish Shiny would give ME a big poke.'

-Oooooh, yeah. Wielding his spear like a champ!-

>SHHHHHH!

[I think I missed something. Can we rewind this?]

>It's a theater!

[So... yes?]

'Ehhh, what do you rate that guy, 1 being 29 and 10 being Shiny?'

-Solid six.-

{After that shameful fight scene? Two.}

"Yes?"

{Not you, the number.}

"Oh. Kay, get confused sometimes."

>SHHHHHH!

[I don't know, four? His muscles are smaller than Shiny's.]

{You're welcome.}

[And he's confusing.]

~GRAAAAAAHHH~

>IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, I JUST WANT TO WATCH THE HYPERSPACE WARS MOVIE IN PEACE!

'You don't have to yell!'

-Rude.-

[Right in a good part too.]

"Bad Shiny!"

>......*TWITCHTWICTHTWITCHTIWTCHTWITCH*
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>Luna
"Celestia"
~~~~~~

>Sister! We are saddened.

"If it's not meant to be it's not meant to be, he didn't deserve you anyway, destiny has a funny way of making things work, love finds a way, try Shining Armor since all the cool kids are doing it."

>...W-what? No, I meant I am nostalgic for a time when simply you and I ruled this land.

"You mean pre or post moon time out?"

>Post.

"You're nostalgic for a year of doing absolutely nothing?"

>We regret no longer being untouchable royalty! Now, there are many who stand level with us, and we feel lesser.

"I was shot in the horn by a giant bug monster and glued to the ceiling. You have no idea what 'lesser' is."

>I feel as if you are not taking me seriously.

"Don't you mean not taking 'us' seriously?"

>We only speak as such when addressing our subjects!

"And occasionally me."

>Habits are hard to break!

"Listen, Luna? I understand. But you know what? As much as this has been one long string of ponies pointing out my failures, it's gotten better. Regardless of how I feel everytime Applejack asks me a question, I'm glad my citizens are living better lives. Deep down, that's what I'm supposed to do. So if you can think you can take over and improve this place like Applejack and Twilight and Fluttershy and Spike have done, I'm all for it and I swear I will rip off wings slash horns slash send to his room as necessary. Otherwise, be happy your citizens are living better lives, or hand me your crown, because one of those needs to happen. Alright?"

>...We fear we have just been, as the foals say, 'told'

"Like Twilight reading a story, thoroughly, efficiently and happily."
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>Shining Armor
"Spike"
'Poindexter'
[Chrysalis]
~~~~~~

>Really?

"Hey, she wanted to play, and we could always use more players."

>Really.

'Hey, he's DMing this round, gotta play by his rules.'

[Oh, Shiny's just jealous because I've been on better quests than him and got better loot.]

>Yeah, that's my problem. Not that you're a succubus character. Who keeps inching her piece towards mine.

[Art imitates life!]

'You have no idea of how envious I am of you, she is STACKED.'

[HAH! See? Your friend likes me! Why can't you be more like him, Shiny?]

'You doing anything after-'

[PFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!]

'...Just another saturday for ol' Poindexter.'

"Alright, you find yourselves in a castle-"

[I use my advanced initiative and I roll seduction against Shiny!]

>OH COME ON!

'Why?'

[My character needs the love energy. If I supercharge right at the beginning, I can curbstomp all the lesser things and reach a high level quicker, that way when the real challenge starts I'll have a HUGE headstart, and likely a surplus of loot for when this is all over.]

'...She's got a point.'

>COME ON!

"It's a valid strategy. Roll it."

[...YES! C'mere, buddy!]

>COME! ON!

[Oh yeah, you like it like that, don't you?]

>You don't have to actually make my piece mount yours!

[It's called immersion, you scrub! You should be thanking me!]

"You should, she rolled a critical. That means you both get a big stat boost from her sharing the love with you. You just got a huge headstart."

>She is making me bend her over a table!

[What, you want it up against the wall? Fine, whatever! Take me how and where you want it, lover boy, I'm here to please! Literally, I get a bigger boost if you tell me the things you like.]

>Are you ever going to make her end her turn?

"Pal, there are not enough bits on this planet to make me end this a second before she's ready. The look on your face alone will bring a smile to me until the end of time."

[Oh yeah, oh yeah! Right there! OH YEAH! Finish it sexy! ALL OVER MY FACE! OH YEAAAH! AHHHHhhhh... was it good for you too, baby?]

>Hate.

'...I might need a bathroom break. Or better yet, can I get a round?'

[Sorry, once a succubus rolls a critical love enchantment, she falls hopelessly in love with her target. Me and Shiny are together foreeeever!]

>I'm considering jumping off the edge of the cliff, if only because I know your character will jump with me.

"No good, the critical enchantment means your character can't cause direct harm to her. On the positive, she can never harm you either."

[Oh, and also, anytime we stop at an Inn, our characters will just be so overcome by lust that we will totally WRECK that room! Isn't that great!?]

"And you get a minor stat boost when that happens too."

'I want to be you. I hope you know this. I want to be you so much.'

>Can we just go and actually start this game? Please?

"...Oh! Right! There were just, a bunch of dire wolves in the room."

>...Watching?

"Yeah."

>...I roll to kill them all.

"...Success! In a berserker fury, the enchantment allows you to sweep the room with one move a piece, you wipe them out."

[HAH! Bet you're loving that booty now, aren't you!]

>Jokes on you, I just boosted up a level!

[Oh no, you're not taking the lead from me! IT'S ON!]

>BRING IT!

"...This is going to be fun."
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>Twilight
"Applejack"
'Spike'
~~~~~
"Hey, Twi! Ya in here? Ah know ya'll been wantin' me ta talk to ya on somethin' an' seems it's finally time..."

Applejack is nearly bowled over by a purple blur

>DOYAREALLYMEANITAPPLEJACKBOYTHISMEANSALOTTOMESOWHATDIDIDOWRONG?

"...Well, guess that explains where they went, anyway... Twiligh', Ah understand ya'll 're dedicated to yer work, but why did'ja order nearly a million cans o' energy drinks an' half a million o' cappuccino in glass bottles?"

>AREYAMADATMEDOYOUFEALYOURANGERRISINGANDBLOODBOILINGISTHATALITTLEBITOFREDINYOUREYEOFABLOODVESSELPOPPING?!

"... Twi, sugarcube, slow the hay down, Ah can even figure out half o' what yer sayin'."

Twilight's, literally, vibrating with excitement (and caffeine) to the point where her body is producing an audible 'buzz'.

>OKAY,LETMETRYTOSAYTHISASSLOWLYASICAN. PRINCESSCELESTIAWANTEDMETOCOMEUPWITHNEWIDEASTOIMPROVETHEROYALGUARD,SOIDECIDED,'HEY!WHATDOWEEVENNEEDAROYALGUARDFOR?LET'SBUILDROBOTS!"

"Okay... Ah heard tha robots part... An' ya'll 're plannin' to use 'em to replace the guard. Still doesn't answer what ya'll 're doin' wit' these energy drinks an' such."

>IMBUILDINGTHEMOUTOFONEHUNDREDPERCENTRECYCLEDMATERIALS!!!

"... Okay... Twiligh', Ah'm jus' gonna let'cha git back to it since all this still ain' got two shakes on tha cake budget. Jus'... Please, try ta slow down an' take it easy?"

>WILLDO,APPLEJACK!ITWASGREATTALKINGTOYOUWEREALLYNEEDTODOITAGAINBUTFRRGHTNWGTTAGTBKTWRK!

One moment Twilight's there, the next she's not. Leaving in her wake a trail of schematics and forms.

When Applejack noticed they were properly filled out, she 'hmm's to herself.

"Well... Maybe Twi could use some help wit' those energy drinks"

Later...

'Hey, Applejack, I got those forms you-'

Spike's bnearly bowled over in an orange blur and by the time he recovers, he's confronted by a vibrating Applejack who then hands him back the forms and points a shaking hoof at them

"YALREADYFILLED!"
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Applejack 15 adances upon a resting horse with a sticky note stappled to his ass
Aj15"So, you are just laying here."

Aj17: "yep, nothing to do now."

Aj15"Not getting into trouble I see"

Aj17:" obviously, I just have to wait for someone to screw up majorly and blame 42 for this dumbass idea."

15 "so she could kill you?"

Seventeen snorts before chuckling a bit
17 "no, so I can tell the queen how much of a bad idea this is, nothing, I mean nothing, can beat 42."

15"obviously"

17 "but say, the only thing that has power over her says this is a bad idea? Example, the queen. Boom, we can take the number tags off and this entire nightmare can be put behind us."

15 "sounds like a great idea, so how are you going to do this? No one wants to get caught by 42 either you know."

17 "true, and the few better than me at this cloak and dagger stuff are either busy, out of canterlot or don't care enough to do so."

15 "you mean, 17 29 and the supprise that 2 is shaping out to be?"

17" that and all of the other changlings that haven't reveled their powerlevel or care enough."

More laughter from the two bugs
15 "true true"

A long and strained silence before seventeen speaks again
17 "ok, I'm going to ask for your help, only this once."
He looks around evading eye contact with fifteen
17 "I have no idea of what to do, and I don't want to die... yet I want to do somthing. I want to help."

15 "...annnd..."

17 "do you have any idea... Please?"

The bug rises to look the other in the eye.
A moment of exchange, between then and now.
15 "just go talk to the queen. I doubt she ordered it so it should work in your favor. Be careful and good luck."

A subtle nod betwen the two and he leaves.
17 "thanks!"


Cat22: "think he will be ok?"

Aj15 "possibly figment of my imagination, possibly."

He slips through the crowded ballroom, with purpose this time, heading for a certain location.
The queen.

17: "I request an audience with the queen."

AJwho fucking knows knows standing outside the movie theatre: "Sorry, she is busy talking to 42, somthing about the recent events."

17: "perfect, I have buisness with her as well."

Seventeen storms on into the back cornner of the ballroom, ignoring the strange layout of burnt marble tables, nawed glass statues, and fake guide lines of no entry.

A few of the bug ponys eyeball the nut storming the queen's scantuary which was a couch, a film projecter, and a tv with a VCR built in, all magicly powered."

Ever alert she noticed even before she crossed the threshold that some one was coming in.
42: "Whatbusinessmight you have with me and our queen?"

17: "I come with a formal complaint, and to object to the recent istallment of changling idenity tags."

42: "under what grounds? This is a solid idea that is convenet for the queen to identify changlings quickly and rapidly, as well as with a glossery made eventually it would tell her what changling does what. Not only that but it will help us intergrate into the population if we do so with some trouble makers being finaly held responcible and liable for injustice and misdeads."

A sharp intake of breath and she continues.
42: "All in all, this was a great idea that will provide some much needed order to our hectic lifestyle."

(Shitfuckshitfuck, she didn't just do this in the heat of the moment?)
(did she think up some bullshit to spew afterwards?")
(still, I'm here so I gotta try)

17: "thats fine and dandy after all but there is a problem with this."

17: "We are spies and infiltrators that is what it means to be changlings."

17: "If we can't hide amongst ourselfs and our friends when the stakes are low, if we can't even fool our allys what chance do we have against our enemys? To beg for mercy and hope someother race that we have done wrong in the past to come save us?"

17: "we are strong, we adapt, and we survive, but we do so without an idenity. The only one of any signifigance is the queen."

--"But even if we are so strong, do you expect us to take on the whole world alone? We need powerful allys, and manipulatable friends. Not to mention, do you speak for the entire hive? Remember your place for a moment."

(fuckfuckfuck it begins.)

Seventeen take a moment to compose herself, noting the few changlings rushing outside of the ballroom only to come back in droves.
All watching, from a safe distance.
Pilled upon eachother like a wall of buzzing green and black glass.
Meanwhile the queen watches, as she would be if this were a soap opera, occasionaly eyeballing her dictionary and or thesarus.

17: "I undertand my place perfectly, I listen to whatever the queen requests when she asks for anything. However, what we need is a back up plan, somthing that dosen't just end with us losing our birth right."

42: "birth right?"
She questions, an eyebrow raised.

17: "pegesai man the sky, unicorns study what the mind can do, and earth ponys tend to the land."
17: "Yet with this system a changling loses the purpose of changing, we would have to wear clothes full time just to cover it up and I might not be the best infiltrator but that would defently be a sudden change for any pony that we are impersonating."

A sudden girlish chuckle hits the air.

42: "seventeen thats a heart warming speach and all no logic but lots of emotion, but the question remains, what right would you have to question a new changling law. You as of late are the only one to step forwards and question this, the hive seems to be in accaptence of it. Do you not remember your place?"
42 steps forwards, standing taller than before, doning her helm suddenly.

Seventeen stares into her eyes, grim at first but then a troublemaking grin slids onto his face.
17: "Again, I understand my place perfectly, the question is, do you understand yours? You forced this upon the hive in a sudden burst of violence and force, my last question is wether or not was this ordered by the queen. Was it 42?!"
17 raises his voice and sternly states the last question.

A gasp from the crowd, voices in a canopy of noise.
"oh snap." "thanks for having us, try again next time.""shots fired, shots fired." "and you are dead" "panic." "hype." "don't let him through, 42 might kill us in the chase."

(what am I doing)
(oh clelestia what the fuck am I doing)
(It can't end like this right?")

42: "what."

He bows suddenly, facing away from 42, to look in the direction of the queen.
17: "your highness, I must ask this of you, did you order this new law?"

Everyone faces and bows to the queen, who we find stuffing her mouth with popcorn.
Queen Chrysalis: "what new law?"

The color drained from 42's face, a moment of intense silence.

17: "the one mandating that they wear number tags to tell you which one is which?"

Queen Chrysalis: "I asked this? When did I ask this?"
She was stumped and yet someone lost her tall stance.

42: "you, well, you were on your couch complaining about how there were 'so many that you had trouble telling them appart' so I took the liberty of doing it for you."

Queen Chrysalis: "My movies are not aranged in any order though."

42: "ahh...."

"I see..."
"And Luna says politics are boring."
A whistful sigh excapes the queen's lips.

A certain pony is resting near a potted plant, possibly a palm tree sapling.

"well then, your alive. I think."

"yep"

"you ok?"

"those were the scaryest moments of thus far."

"oh?"

"but I'm still alive."

Laughter fills the air.
"you trouble maker."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ12
"77"

>So...uh...the river, yeah?

77's head perks up from where he was observing the patrol patterns of the guards in the castle gardens.

"Hm? Oh, 12. What no small talk today?"

>Sorry, I think Applejerk finally ran out of jobs for me...or she's scrounging for an especially shitty one.

"Ah, I see. I think her placement of me as special aide to the Royal Guard was well thought out, their progress is slow but its steady. I'll be tutoring them on camouflage within a fortnight."

>...lemme know how camouflaging the neon bright ponies goes.

"Duly noted. But you wish for me to continue my little tale?"

>To break the boredom of the day, yes.

"Very well, our new nautical route came with the advantage of throwing the Morlocks off our trail, I know that because I'm still alive. An ambush in the water would have been the end of us, we all knew it, but what could we do? Swim quieter? Changelings are not an aquatic species, 12, I have lived and learned."

>I wish you'd told me that BEFORE I applied at Aqualand.

"We weren't that far in the story. Now, we floated, pretty much clinging to each other like scared broodmates for...I don't know how long, when we made our happy little way into-get ready for variety here-a cavern! Ah but you see it wasn't any cavern, there was a light at the top of it...a beautiful, shiny...ethereal light. For a few moments I wondered if that nonsense ponies talk about there being a bright pretty light you walk into when you die was right, then 44 squealed out loudly, like a damn grub getting its first taste of love."

>Why?

"He thought we'd found a way out, that the light was coming from outside. Damn fool, I guess our experiences had finally just...broken him. We told him to stop but he just started flying up fixated on the damned light, cooing about freedom and liberation..."

>...

"What, no 'and then'?"

>No no, go on.

"You're losing your narrative flair. Well then he reached the light...and stuck to it. He squirmed and thrashed and begged for help but before we could do anything, the light just went out. There was a pop, then a scream, and a sound like...teeth gnashing together on a morsel of meat...then the light came back on and 44 was gone."

>The light was a-

"A bait, yes, 32 theorized later that whatever creature was up there probably used it to fish for prey in the water below, we must have caught it between meals and 44 presented a meal of opportunity. Needless to say we got the hell out of there as fast as possible. 88 tried to bring a little levity, said it felt like half of her was gone when 44 died-"

>Wait, her?

"..."

>88 was female?

"...no...him. Him! HIM! I meant to say him!"

77 starts to back away.

>77, it's ok, it's no big de-

"I shouldn't have said anything, I promised...I promised her!"

77 looks down at his knife in horror, he grits his teeth and snatches it in his teeth, galloping away.

>77 wait!

12 blinks and grimaces.

>...shit...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Applejack"
'Twi'
~~~~~~~

>This can only end in tears.

"Ya'll say that about everythin' Ah' do!"

>How often am I right?

"...Shut up."

>Point is, we both know why I'm here.

"Cause you're a respected friend whom Ah' would like ta' have with me?"

>...

"...Fine. Throw yer' dang shield up."

>Why mine, specifically?

"You kiddin'? Puttin' you in danger is the one way ta' snap Twi' out of doin' anythin' particularly dangerous. Anyone else and she's like 'Don't care, TWIENCE!' but the minute Shiny's in trouble she's all 'SHUT IT DOWN!'"

>Awww, I love her so much.

"...Did ya'll just hear a giggle?"

>Luna does that sometimes, it's no big-

'OKAY! I MIGHT HAVE MADE A SMALL MISCALCULATION!'

>...Giant mutant oranges?

"Well, there goes mah plan ta' possibly help starvin' nations."

'IF SOMEONE COULD HELP ME START THE KILLING, THAT WOULD BE DANDY!'

>Not it.

"Not it."

'SCREW YOU GUYS!'

>Why not apples?

"...I should burn ya' for that heresy."

>Point taken.

'SPIKE! THE CHAINSAW!'

"Ya'll gonna help her?"

>You kidding? Look at her face. She might have done this on purpose.

'GET SOME!'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"Applejack"

Spike hums to himself as he cleans his revolver. After he sets the gun down on the table he turns around only for his tail to knock the gun on the floor.
>No! Charity!
He rushes to pick up the gun.
>Awww, I scratched yoooou. I'm so sorry Charity!

"You named your gun Charity?"

>Yeah. I gave her a name since we've been through a lot together.

"Like what?"

>Well...

[Cue montage. Here's the music for it. Skip to 0:15 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPYT9Vyu62A ]

Spike walks in the forest when timber wolves appear. Startled, he pulls out Charity and shoots them dead one by one. He wipes his forehead, smiles at Charity and walks away.

Spike tries to jump up to reach an apple in a tree, but it's out of reach. He kicks the tree but nothing happens. Frustrated he takes out Charity and shoots the apple down. He bites the apple in triumph and winks at Charity.

A pony in a burning house screams for help from a 3rd story window. Spike notices and runs off. He comes back with a rope and grappling hook. After he attaches the rope to the hook, he puts
the hook into Charity's barrel. He shoots the hook on to the window sill. Later the pony hugs him, but he waves no and points to Charity as the real lifesaver.

Ponies line up at the starting line of a racetrack. Spike shoots into the air and the ponies run off in a panic. He laughs and pets Charity.

Spike is undercover wearing a moustache in a rock candy sting operation. At some point his moustache falls off and the other ponies angerly surround Spike against a wall. Spike points to Charity, that's wearing a little doll's costume complete with a bonnet, pointed at them. The ponies raise their hooves and surrender. Spike gives a thumbs up to Charity.

Spike happily cuts up a Daisy sandwich using a knife. Camera pans out revealing it's a bayonet attached to Charity.

An evil pony with an eye patch sits on his chair, laughing as he pets his cat. He yells at his henchponies and points to Spike. Three henchponies charge at Spike. Spike quickly draws Charity
and shoots them in the leg. He walks up to the evil pony while smiling and points Charity at his face.

Charity is surrounded by 3 mirrors. She gets "accesserized" with various attachments like flashlights and scopes as if they were clothing. Cut to Spike making different reactionary faces to each one.

In the next scene the Camera cuts to Spike's face against a black background. Spike grits his teeth and fires Charity in slow motion.

As the music slowly ends, Spike goes to bed with Charity next to him. He pulls the blanket over Charity and kisses her goodnight.

"....maybe it's time we took back the gun."

>What? No! Charity belongs to me now! You can't have her!
Spike runs out the door.

"...I'm getting worried about that dragon."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Shining Armor
"Spike"
'Poindexter'
[Chrysalis]
-18-
~~~~~~

>Okay, why. Why are you doing this?

"She asked to play, how could I say no to that face?"

-My face is adorable, you have to admit.-

>IT'S MY WIFE'S FACE!

'Wait, that's not Cadence? So... you doing anything later-'

-PFFFTHAHAHHAHA-

'Point taken.'

>She's Applejack 18. One of the far too many Changelings who are currently attempting to sleep with me.

'...Why can't I be you?'

[Pffffft! An enchantress? Really?]

-It's a legitimate class!-

[It's a non-sexy version of a succubus. Look at these stats, you're pitiful! You couldn't kill a damn sewer rat with this!]

-I'm new!-

[If you want to roll with me and my lover Shiny, you've gotta do better than that]

-Wait, what?-

>She rolled a critical love enchantment two games ago, and she's been having her way with my poor character ever since.

[The lost gold for wrecking those rooms was TOTALLY worth the stat boost. I'm pure sexy tank at this point.]

>She makes us listen as she describes it, in detail.

[Is that right...]

"Alright, let's get started. On the edge of the town of Allseer, you find yourselves camping out under the moonlight-"

[Use advanced initiative to have a quicky with Shiny!]

>OH COME ON!

[Hey, who knows what may be out there, we need to be prepared. Also, successful, so I'll just-]

-Roll counter to steal enchantment!-

[...What?]

"She's an enchantress, stealing or breaking enchantments is one of her specialties. Roll it."

-...That means it worked, right?-

"That it did."

[....no.]

-Which means I steal your critical love enchantment on Shiny, and turn all it's lovey power towards me!-

[No.]

'Huh, it also means she steals all the boosts and buffs you've gathered.'

[NO.]

"Ooooh, bad luck for you. Breaking a succubus heart like that also causes them to take a HUGE hit to their stats and morale. There's no way you could wield half the stuff you got in the tower."

[NONONONONONO]

-Oh, and since you were successful, you know what that means?-

[NOOOOOOO]

-Ohhh Shiny! C'mere and... give me some of that white sugar.-

>This is not better. Put down my piece. No, don't make him- Agggghhhhh, not like that...

-No no, take me slow, let her watch, let her SAVOR it. Oh yeah, like that! Yeah, tell me how much better I am than her!-

[NOOOOOOOOO! I command you to quit playing!]

"No pulling rank at the table, that was the agreement."

[I just- you can't- how can- MY STATS! ALL OF MY STAAAATS! SO MUCH WORK! WASTED!]

>Oh come on, that position looks SO uncomfortable!

-I like it!-

'Fair warning, flashes of taking your skin like a coat and being you are in my brain. Not saying I'll ever act on it, just saying'

[MY STAAAATS! WHYYYY!]

-Don't worry, maybe you'll get some new ones... while you're watching him make me scream! LIKE THIIIS! YES!-

>...I might actually have to remember that move.

[NOOOOOO!]

"This was the greatest idea ever."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cadence
"Shiny"
'AJ2'
*Chrysalis*
-18-
~~~~~
The whole group is eating Cadence's latest dessert attempt

-Hey, this is actually pretty good!-

*Yeah, can we get some more?!*

>Shiny, how come you're not enjoying it

"Well... I'm still conflicted on it since you're wearing those cultist robes... And it tastes kind of like blood, brimstone... And then look at Two!"

AJ2's head is spinning 360 rapidly in her seat

'Et animas vestras, ut glutiam! Et animas vestras, ut glutiam! Et animas vestras, ut glutiam!'

*I like it myself. Reminds me of my mother!*

18 suddenly turns into a succubus

-AHHHHHH! I'M HIDEOUS!-

"Honey... When you made these Devil cakes, you didn't use real devil in them, did you?"

>Of course not! I used demon.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ 42
"Various Changelings"
~~~~~~

>How is everyone!

"Oh hey, you're back!"

"Who is?"

"Helmet one."

"Yay! I love helmet one!"

"Yeah, she hits things."

"Multidimensional, that one."

>Just wanted to see how you all are doing. I know the Queen stops by sometimes-

"To take her movies, say "Yep, you aren't all dead." and then leave."

>-But I feel like you still deserve some attention. So how is everybody?

"Did you get laid yet?"

>....What!?

"Did yo get laid yet?"

>That's 18 and or our Queen.

"We're not asking about them, we're asking if YOU got laid yet."

"Yeah, spill! Helmet left an indent on the headboard yet?"

"Ride Shining Armor into the night?"

"Shined his armor yet?"

"Got some spear training in?"

"Showed him some new battle positions?"

"Commanded his troops down the hallway?"

"Hit those showers? With your back?"

"Proved you have perfect fang control?"

"Let him ride into the danger zone?"

>I HAVE NOT SLEPT WITH ANYONE!

"Bummer. Alright, guys, reset the betting pool! Nobody won!"

"Maaan!"

>...I suddenly remember something I have to ask my Queen.

"But she's still in the empire."

>What a shame... what a shame.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Chrysalis"
'AJ18'
[Cadence]
{42}
~~~~~

"The hell is this?"

>It's called brunch, Chrysalis. Brunch. Not lunch or breakfast, brunch.

"...This sounds stupid."

>It is.

"More to the point, we're out of ice cream!"

[It's eleven in the morning.]

"I need my ice cream!"

{My Queen, please, sit. We're having a nice talk.}

"Oh?"

'Yeah, we're discussing how weird it is to be Shiny.'

"Oh, this I've got to hear."

'I was just saying, we've got Changeling, Changeling, Changeling, QUEEN Changeling, Alicorn, aaaaand, unicorn. Weird, right?'

>Trust me, I'm miffed every day Celestia won't just make me an Alicorn, but I'm at peace with it.

{Someday, she'll recognize you.}

"Why don't you just eat Twilight's heart?"

The table went dead silent.

>...W-what!?

"...What?"

[What did you just say!?]

"Oh, sorry, talk quietly sometimes-"

'No you don't.'

"-just saying if he wants to be an Alicorn so much, stop being a pussy about it and eat her heart already. She loves you! Really loves you! It'll work."

>...I... you can't be serious.

{M-my Queen, now may not be the best time to-}

"Well, I mean, it's not like a PARENTAL love or anything, but it should work! I think it's more about the quality of love, rather than the specific type."

[...Chrysalis?]

"Yep."

[How do you think I became an Alicorn?]

"Same way everyone does? Alicorn loves you as a child, or sibling or whatever, then NOM! Ha haaa! But you're all bitter about it, so I guess they fought back a little bit?"

[I...I...]

"Pfft, you suck. My mom didn't!"

{Majesty, really-}

"Nah, it's fine. I love talking about my mom! Oh, she was so proud of me that day! Still makes me smile just thinking about it."

>And you... ate her heart.

"Uhhhh doy! Do you not see this big, beautiful sexy body? How else do you think I got this?"

'Wow. Okay, wow. This is new information. Information I DID NOT WANT.'

"Awww, I know 18, but I'm sorry, I'll never love you as a daughter. Just how it rolled. I'll love you as a friend, though! I mean, that's pretty nice of me. Won't work for a little heart tasting contest, but hey! Still pretty good."

'How generous.'

{Highness, please...}

>So you have to do this?

"Jeeze, you and 42, always asking the dumb questions. Yes, I have to do this, otherwise she would be disappointed that I didn't want to be queen, she wouldn't love me, then BLAM! No more Chrissy! But she did, cause she was awesome. I mean, not BEFORE that obviously, or I would have ascended sooner, but I won her over!"

[I... T-that's just so...]

"...HOLY CRAP!"

>WHAT!?

"I HEAT THE ICE CREAM TRUCK! Gimme some bits, now! GIMME GIMME!"

Wordlessly, he pours the money into her outstretched hoof, and she ran off without another word. Well, except for non-direction cries of "ICE CREAM!"

>...Wow.

'I don't want brunch anymore.'

[Or Lunch. Or dinner. Or ever.]

{S-so, hey! At least you know what she's talking about now, right? That's good. Good good good.}

>...

'...'

[...]

{...I'll shut up now.}
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________