Imp editing

>Defeat Imp, Imp Lord, Imp Overlord, other generic single imp-type enemy
I think you'd have to make a new flag for this, and it seems pretty redundant given that most people will have killed an imp by level 10. Unless you meant you have to have killed all of those, in which case why?
>and consider
"Consider" is transitive and thus needs an object.
>Before he can get his guard up you've
comma after "up"
>the mouth of the bottle
Mildly pedantic, but the repetition of "bottle" is bothering me just a bit.
>hits his tongue the imp's
comma after "tongue"
>the familiar taste
Why would this imp know what succubi milk tastes like? Moreover, why would you know he knows that?
>choices. Either
Change this period to a colon and make the "e" lowercase.
>unoconventional
If you're following Uno conventions, why didn't he just play a reverse? What an idiot.
>His hard angular face
comma after "hard"
>under the influenced
influence
>just deserts
desserts
>Wasting no time you strip
comma after "time"
>the better of you and
comma after "you"
>before she can react you
comma after "react"
>The imp howls
Make the "t" lowercase (unless that dialogue isn't meant to be what she howled).
>Despite her protests it
comma after "protests"
>of the Succubi Milk if she was
Insert an "or" after milk.
>"You are now."
Are you talking to yourself? This would already be a bit weird ignoring the fact that you shouldn't do direct dialogue in CoC.
>Then without further ado you
comma after "ado"
>demoness'
Add an "s" after the apostrophe.
>to be fucked - to be bred
My autism demands that you turn this hyphen into a proper em dash.
>into your cocksleeve's brain you
comma after "brain"
>[insert current eye description]
For future reference, you can just say [eyes].
>spurting  hot
There's an extra space here.
>She wasn't even a woman for an hour and she'd already been forced down and made to take your seed.
You should make this present perfect, like so: "She hasn't even been a woman for an hour, and she's already been forced...". CoC is generally written in present tense, so it's a bit weird to be framing these qualities as something she "was"/"had been".
>Briefly you
I'd strongly recommend a comma after "briefly", but it's a bit less necessary than the others.
>Maraeth
Mareth
>broken bitch beneath you there
comma after "you"
>Your balls continue to blast rope after rope of creamy semen
It's a little bit weird that you're having this calm moment of introspection while you're still geysering cum.
>and the pressure inside the imp builds and she watches
I'd recommend inserting a sentence break instead of one of these "and"s, as using two in the same list is generally not done. If you decide to keep both (or if the second one changes into a different conjunction), you should add a comma after "builds".