(randall's version) what your psr sped run says about you updated 2021 edition

what your psr sped run says about you updated 2021 edition now with side series wowee
idea completely stolen from amoeba and corvimae, title stolen from amoeba (also its pretty inaccurate lol)

amoeba's - https://twitter.com/AmoebaUK/status/1449502289211936769
corvimae's - https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/739225983844089876/899060394763640832/speedgame2.png?width=840&height=630

red - you're only here for the nostalgia and the ability to rage about how stinkin dumb this run is
blue - you just wanna glitch the game. and dunk on bulbasaur.
yellow - you're only here for the nostalgia and the ability to rage about how stinkin slow the menus are - just remember to ignore that theyre still pretty darn fast
stadium - you live for the glory of the hypest of hypemen, and youll go thru hell and back 70 straight times to get it

gold - you would have a good pb if you didnt hit every spinner, or at the very least if red wasnt so darn impossible
crystal - you went thru hell, trading out the impossible red fight in search of a good pb, but you only found spinners. lots and LOTS of spinners
stadium 2 - you live for the glory of the hypest of hypemen, and youll go thru hell and never return to get it

sapphire - nothing turns you on more than smooth movement, and nothing turns you off more than consistency
emerald - nothing turns you on more than smooth movement, but you dont want to lose the 3 hours youve invested into your speedrunning career
frlg - sometimes you just wanna die a lot in a video game to construct an elegant metaphor for your mental state
colo - you live for the glory of SALSA, and youll go thru hell and back just to not get it because of *checks notes* everything
xd - you wanna play colo, but you also wanna get in your 2 hour afternoon nap while youre at it
pinball - your brain is too busy going "bounce go brrr" to realize everything you hate about the main games is still here lol

dp - nothing turns you on more than an extended manip, but hey if you ever need something easier you can just bike yourself out of existence :)
platinum - nothing turns you on more than an extended manip, though youll happily settle for smooth spinner passes
hgss - you wanna spin to win. and show off how much of a genius you are when you outsmart red
ranger - you only wanna spin to win. nothing else

bw1 - you grew up with a smelly pig, but you now enjoy playing with cute puppies. pretty boring, but at least you get a happy ending?
bw2 - you might not admit it, but youd rather play with rng reporter than an actual game with rng

xy - sometimes, you just want more rng
omega ruby - you love resetting, just not enough to run colo
alpha sapphire - you believe listening to better music is worth the suffering of a worse midsection

moon - you like early gen speedruns, but you think theyre too fast
ultra moon - that shit belongs in a museum, but you cant stop chucking it all over the place to care
lets go - random ivs spook you. random encounters spook you. random natures spook you. random bs catchrates spook you. manips spook you. well, BOY DO I HAVE THE GAME FOR YOU! :D

sword - you like early gen speedruns, just not as much as the t e x t
shield - you feel nostalgia for that time it took you 20 balls to catch your favorite pokemon