2021 in a Nutshell

--2021 in a Nutshell--

Hi.

I hope everyone is having the happiest of all holidays! Very lately friends have been tagging each other (and myself) on Twitter dot com in regards to whom made their year. I thought to take the journaling route as 2021 has been an eventful year for me. Fair warning, this is more self-reflective, so be prepared for a lengthy (but hopefully concise) read.

This year started in a very rocky scenario; I began my penultimate semester of college and carried over a broken sleep schedule due to an unhealthy thought that I was not good enough for anyone or for myself. During the day, I would be "focused" on academics and gaming communities while "sad boi hours" activated during the night (won't get too personal here). Not to mention that this was the 2nd year of the pandemic, which rendered in-real-life social interactions nearly nonexistent [for me]. My online life, however, strengthened for the better as I delved into the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe community and grew closer with my speedrunning friends.

For starters, I had taken a hiatus from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate given the social climate being... immaculately cringe and the online being... unfathomably cringe. Around the beginning of the pandemic, I picked up streaming and speedrunning Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz HD, and that was (and is still) an avenue in which I could fight my own mentality as opposed to it being influenced by others--gameplay-wise. Burnout does exist, however, and after my 34:24 run (back a year ago), I did not know what other game to play or speedrun. Thankfully, a very special friend of mine, JustNtendo, introduced me to the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe community where I developed some of the greatest friendships and an opportunity to dust off a game that I only played for fun and was pretty decent in. I won't forget my first war where even though it was a beating, people thought I was a very chill person thereafter.

Most of my free time in the 8DX community was spent in NANA Fam, a 200cc team founded by kisatta (a.k.a. Savanna). While it was meant to be a streaming server, Sav gained a lot of traction from her activity in playing both 150cc and 200cc, so she decided to build a [wholesome] team consisting of her closest friends and new faces from around the community. Many nights where I'd struggle with completing my computer science courses were made for the better when I would play 200cc World Cup with Sav, Sammy, Dudu, and numerous others. It inspired me to practice my weaker mode and have a fresh start. Later on, I would join the 200cc Lounge server where I would meet more amazing people, especially my supportive girlfriend Lunaaa ❤ (you are the best in the entire world). Draining my MMR close to the 100s and climbing back up to the Silver rank helped me understand what it meant to maintain a competitive "grindset" that isn't speedrunning. Granted that no community is perfect and has... interesting individuals, I'm ever so thankful to interact and be super close with such amazing friends. (I won't list them here, as I do not want to leave anyone out; you all have left a special impact on me, be proud of it.) Perhaps my favorite moment of this year (aside from acheiving a 24 in BBHD No Bosses) is staying up all night with Lunaaa so we could play a 3v3 Summit with yuuyu, who literally busted her sleep schedule just to die with us. 😎

In tandem with my 8DX grind, I was streaming Shadow the Hedgehog and speedrunning a fair bit of other games such as Puyo 15th, Puyo Fever 1/2, 8DX (funnily enough), SMB1, and Banana Mania. I found myself submitting and attending marathons for charity and to put myself out there as a pretty good gamer. My biggest break was speedrunning Banana Blitz HD in the Juneteenth GDQ Hotfix, which was the closest I've ever been to running in a GDQ. The run somehow granted me a substantial amount of followers, even though I feel as if I did not do a good job of continuing the grind for the new individuals who found my channel. I'd like to reiterate that I, like many other people, are susceptible to burnout. How we handle it differs; my procrastination habit tends to worsen, and I attempt to focus elsewhere for a little bit. With that being said, I want to apologize for the way I've handled announcing my streams and the times where I over-complain (it's for the content!). I care deeply about the content in which I provide, and want to maintain the status of a cozy stream... when I actually commit to it. So perchance that will be my New Year's Resolution: be a man of my word and commit to things I have committed to. As for shoutouts, I do want to thank nes, Helix, piner, Shasta, AWP, Focus, and so many others for allowing me to be part of uplifting communities and... putting up with the fact that I [still] play Banana Blitz HD. It's super inspiring to watch y'all demonstrate how awesome your respective speedgame is while also being amazing content creators. Finally, I want to give a special shoutout to my old online friends and members of my community. You all also helped me be where I am today.

Throughout this journal, I have not really discussed my in-real-life events other than the fact I will receive my Bachelor's of Science degree in computer science very soon (I graduated) and plan to attend graduate school next fall! Not many of my college friends follow my Twitter dot com, but a few of my high school friends do (and more than likely will not look at this LOL), and I want to mention how much I miss the fun times we've had in certain AP classes and band; I really hope y'all are doing well and getting yourselves out of college (and honestly this state).

2021 is ending soon, and I do think it is important to consider both what went wrong and what went right, and use it to improve future years. As mentioned above, this year challenged my ability to commit to personally important matters but now that I am essentially out of college (for now) and in a relationship, it is imperative that I stop overthinking such negative thoughts regarding how good I am for anyone or anything. People really care for each other, and I am the exact same way... sometimes too overbearing and a little annoying. It's just who I am. Y'all please stay safe and have a happy holidays! If you read this all the way to the end (or even if you took a gander), I appreciate you very much.