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Meet Adam. He's a regular high school graduate at the ripe young age of 96. Not only that, but he's a prime example of why you shouldn't drink and drive.

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As you can see, being Adam is something you do not want to be. Drinking and driving is another, don't be Adam. Legally change your name if you feel it'll help. But in reality, get a designated driver so you don't have a funeral yourself.