I write various complex facts and question on the white board as I drink from my coffee mu-
"Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Oh yeah~!"
Overly loud music begins playing from somewhere, which startles me and makes me spill my hotter than lava coffee all over my lucky t-shirt! Now I'm angry!
I quickly pivot around towards the class with the grace and finesse of a Jazz instructor then begin looking for the source of this ear rapingly loud tune. Most of the class is covering their ears in response to this sonic assault, except for one: Kate the Wurm. I pull open a drawer and grab hold of a gun I kept hidden in there, before walking towards the Wurm. Once I'm close enough that I can almost FEEL the music bounce around in my chest and heart, I notice that her earbuds aren't plugged into her MP3 player at all. Where did she even get a music player that can play something this loud?
I'm getting distracted here... I practically slam my hand on her MP3 player to pause it, but end up breaking it, before ripping out her ear buds violently. She yelps out in pain while the class breaths a sigh of relief in unison.
"OW! Why did you do that?!" Kate cries out while rubbing her ears. I just stare at her before slamming my gun on the table in front of her broken music player. Fear washes over her as she looks upon the dangerous weapon.
"So, you like listening to Persona 3 music while making us deaf?" I speak with utter clarity and politeness as I pick the gun back up and cock the hammer. The class stares on in dead silence.
"Y-You know what the song is from? Wait, what?!" She starts freaking out.
I bring the gun up to my head and point the barrel towards my temple. "You know, making me spill my favorite blend of coffee all over my favorite shirt makes me REALLY want to EVOKE my emotions right about now!"
"W-Wait! What are you doi-" Kate freaks out even more before passing out. It's really easy to do this to her. Last week I heard a group of kids almost scared her into a coma while wearing little KKK outfits.
I remove the gun from my head as the class looks at me like I'm a crazy person.
"Why do you have a gun?!" Karen the Holstaur mutters out while shaking wildly.
"Oh, this? It's not a real gun so much as a Pez dispenser." I put my hand in front of the barrel and pull the trigger, causing a cherry flavored candy treat to land in my hand. "The barrel's also made of chocolate too. Who wants a bite?"
A few students actually raise their hands in response before slowly lowering them after realizing what they're doing. I take a bite out of the chocolate gun barrel of my novelty Pez dispenser and make my way back to the white board for an anouncement.
"I'm sure most of you know this, but soon it will be the end of the school year and you lot will be graduating."
Sarah, the Australian-American Harpy raises her wing, "Everyone?"
"Yes, everyone. Even Kate, who has been held back for 4 years will now actually graduate this year." A tear runs down my cheek. "I'm so happy she finally got her act together and stopped using 4 as an answer for everything." I quickly wipe it away. "Anyway, with graduation you guys will need to get your life sorted out ASAP since now you'll have to worry about College or getting a job."
"I want to be a doctor!" An Oni in the back smugly smiles while blurting out what she wants to be.
"....A doctor?" I flatly say while scratching my head.
"Yeah! I want to help people out! I'm already skilled at treating colds with warm towels!"
"Well good for you." I lightly clap in sarcasm, but by the smile she still has on I think she didn't know what I said wasn't a compliment.
The rest of the class starts saying what they want to be, even though they should probably be saying this to the counceler or their parents.
"I have an interest in being a lawyer." Marion readjusts her glasses and sweater vest.
"I want to be a racecar driver!" Sarah hyperactively hops in her seat.
"I-I want to be a Veterinarian..." Rosa timidly speaks up. It's still hard to believe a girl like her can be timid at all.
"Can't I just sit around the house all day and be a sexy bitch?" Shannon licks her lips and does various lewd hand gestures in my line of sight.
"I want to be a kindergarten teacher!" some nameless Echidna in the back speaks up. I almost feel sorry for her not knowing about how evil kids are at that age.
"I want to be-"Karen speaks up, but is interrupted by the bell signalling the end of the period. I didn't think that much time passed by....
All of the kids gather their things and leave. The only one who remains is Kate, but she'll wake up eventually. I take a seat in my comfy chair and heave a light sigh while looking at my stained shirt.
"I really liked this shirt...."