Shrek (2001)

1
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<i>Once upon a time there
was a lovely princess.</i>

2
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,680
<i>But she had an enchantment
upon her of a fearful sort...</i>

3
00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:01,640
<i>which could only be broken
by love's first kiss.</i>

4
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,060
<i>She was locked away
in a castle...</i>

5
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:08,360
<i>guarded by a terrible
fire-breathing dragon.</i>

6
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:12,820
<i>Many brave knights had attempted to
free her from this dreadful prison,</i>

7
00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:15,650
<i>but none prevailed.</i>

8
00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:17,910
<i>She waited in the
dragon's keep...</i>

9
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<i>in the highest room of
the tallest tower...</i>

10
00:01:20,990 --> 00:01:25,540
<i>for her true love and
true love's first kiss.</i>

11
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Like that's ever gonna happen.

12
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What a load of...

13
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Somebody once told me the
world is gonna roll me

14
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:41,140
I am not the sharpest
tool in the shed.

15
00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:46,140
She was looking kind of dumb
with her finger and her thumb.

16
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In the shape of an
I on her forehead.

17
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:52,940
The years start coming and
they don't stop coming.

18
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Fed to the rules and I
hit the ground running.

19
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Didn't make sense not
to live for fun.

20
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Your brain gets smart but
your head gets dumb.

21
00:02:00,570 --> 00:02:02,490
So much to do So much to see.

22
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:05,160
So what's wrong with
taking the backstreets.

23
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You'll never know
if you don't go.

24
00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:09,830
You'll never shine
if you don't glow.

25
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Hey, now You're an all-star.

26
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Get your game on, go play.

27
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Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid.

28
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And all that glitters is gold.

29
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Only shooting stars
break the mould.

30
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,940
It's a cool place and
they say it gets colder.

31
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You're bundled up now but
wait till you get older.

32
00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:34,400
But the meteor men
beg to differ.

33
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Judging by the hole in
the satellite picture.

34
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The ice we skate is
getting pretty thin.

35
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The water's getting warm
so you might as well swim.

36
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My world's on fire
How about yours.

37
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That's the way I like it
and I'll never get bored.

38
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<i> Hey, now, you're an all-star.</i>

39
00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:52,380
Get your game on, go play.

40
00:02:52,460 --> 00:02:55,590
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid.

41
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And all that glitters is gold.

42
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Only shooting stars
break the mould.

43
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- Go!
- Go!

44
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Go. Go. Go.

45
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Hey, now You're an all-star.

46
00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:19,240
Get your game on, go play.

47
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:23,570
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid.

48
00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:27,540
And all that glitters is gold.

49
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Only shooting stars
break the mould.

50
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- Think it's in there?
- AI right. Let's get it!

51
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Whoa. Ho ID on. Do you know
what that thing can do to you?

52
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Yeah, it'll grind your
bones for its bread.

53
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Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant.

54
00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:54,940
Now, ogres...
They're much worse.

55
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They'll make a suit from
your freshly peeled skin.

56
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- No!
- They'll shave your liver.

57
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Squeeze the jelly
from your eyes!

58
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:06,070
- Actually, it's quite good on toast.
- Back! Back, beast!

59
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Back! I warn ya!

60
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Right.

61
00:04:29,430 --> 00:04:33,980
This is the part where you run away.

62
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,820
And stay out!

63
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Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.

64
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All right. This one's full.

65
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Take it away!

66
00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:03,340
- Move it along. Come on! Get up!
- Next!

67
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:06,340
Give me that! Your
flying days are over.

68
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:09,050
That's 20 pieces of silver
for the witch. Next!

69
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:11,850
- Get up! Come on!
- Twenty pieces.

70
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Sit down there!

71
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Keep quiet!

72
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This cage is too small.

73
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Please don't turn me in. I'll
never be stubborn again.

74
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I can change. Please!
Give me another chance!

75
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- Oh, shut up. Oh!
- Next!

76
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- What have you got?
- This little wooden puppet.

77
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I'm not a puppet.
I'm a real boy.

78
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Five shillings for
the possessed toy.

79
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- Take it away.
- Father, please! Don't let them do this!

80
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- Help me!
- Next. What have you got?

81
00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:43,880
Well, I've got a talking donkey.

82
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Right. Well, that's good for ten
shillings, if you can prove it.

83
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Oh, go ahead, little fella.

84
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Well?

85
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Oh, oh, he's just... He's
just a little nervous.

86
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He's really quite a chatterbox.
Talk, you bone headed dolt...

87
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,030
- That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
- No, no, he talks!

88
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He does. I can talk.
I love to talk.

89
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:11,240
I'm the talkingest damn
thing you ever saw.

90
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- Get her out of my sight.
- No, no!

91
00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:18,370
I swear! Oh! He can talk!

92
00:06:20,710 --> 00:06:23,090
Hey! I can fly!

93
00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:24,800
- He can fly!
- He can fly!

94
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- He can talk!
- Ha, ha! That's right, fool!

95
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Now I'm a flying,
talking donkey.

96
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You might have seen a house
fly, maybe even a super fly,

97
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but I bet you are not
never seen a donkey fly.

98
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Ha, ha!

99
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Uh-oh.

100
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Seize him!

101
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After him! He's getting away!

102
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Get him! This way! Turn!

103
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,800
You there. Ogre!

104
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,180
Aye?

105
00:07:10,260 --> 00:07:12,293
By the order of
Lord Farquaad, I am

106
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authorised to place you
both under arrest...

107
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and transport you to a designated...
resettlement facility.

108
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Oh, really? You and what army?

109
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Can I say something to you?

110
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Listen, you was really, really
something back there. Incredible!

111
00:07:40,410 --> 00:07:46,170
Are you talking to...
me? Whoa!

112
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Yes, I was talking to you.
Can I tell you

113
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that you was great back there?
Those guards!

114
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They thought they was all of that.
Then you showed up, and bam!

115
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They was tripping over themselves
like babes in the woods.

116
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That really made me
feel good to see that.

117
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- Oh, that's great. Really.
- Man, it's good to be free.

118
00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:05,810
Now, why don't you go celebrate your
freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

119
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:09,190
But, uh, I don't
have any friends.

120
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,950
And I'm not going out
there by myself.

121
00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:14,570
Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea!
I'll stick with you.

122
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,580
You're a mean, green,
fighting machine.

123
00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:19,060
Together we'll scare the spit
out of anybody that crosses us.

124
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:25,920
Oh, wow! That was
really scary.

125
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,843
If you don't mind me saying,
if that don't work,

126
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your breath certainly
will get the job done,

127
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,009
'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs
or something, 'cause your breath stinks!

128
00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:36,220
You almost burned the
hair outta my nose,

129
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:39,140
just like the time...

130
00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:42,940
Then I ate some rotten berries. I had
strong gases eking out of my butt that day.

131
00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:45,730
Why are you following me?

132
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,400
I'll tell you why.

133
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,400
'Cause I'm all alone.

134
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:56,240
There's no one here beside me.

135
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,990
My problems have all gone.

136
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,410
There's no one to deride me.

137
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:05,460
But you gotta have friends...

138
00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:08,590
Stop singing!

139
00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:10,710
It's no wonder you don't
have any friends.

140
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,420
Wow. Only a true friend
would be that truly honest.

141
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:18,600
Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me.
What am I?

142
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,600
Uh...

143
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,730
- Really tall?
- No! I'm an ogre.

144
00:09:26,810 --> 00:09:30,020
You know. Grab your
torch and pitchforks.

145
00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:32,110
Doesn't that bother you?

146
00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:34,320
Nope.

147
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,280
- Really?
- Really, really.

148
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,490
- Oh.
- Man, I like you. What's your name?

149
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:44,250
Uh, Shrek.

150
00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:47,580
Shrek? Well, you know what
I like about you, Shrek?

151
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,678
You got that kind of.

152
00:09:49,691 --> 00:09:51,710
I-don't-care-what-nobody... thinks-of-me
thing.

153
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,590
I like that. I respect that, Shrek.
You all right.

154
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:59,680
Wooh! Look at that. Who'd want
to live in a place like that?

155
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,970
That would be my home.

156
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,930
Oh! And it is lovely!
Just beautiful.

157
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:09,810
You are quite a decorator. It's amazing
what you've done with such a modest budget.

158
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:14,650
I like that Boulder.
That is a nice Boulder.

159
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:21,120
I guess you don't
entertain much, do you?

160
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,990
I like my privacy.

161
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,660
You know, I do too. That's
another thing we have in common.

162
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,000
Like, I hate it when you
got somebody in your face.

163
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,028
You're trying to give them a
hint, and they won't leave.

164
00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:32,000
There's that awkward silence.

165
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:37,840
- Can I stay with you?
- Uh, what?

166
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:40,510
Can I stay with you, please?

167
00:10:40,590 --> 00:10:42,890
- Of course!
- Really?

168
00:10:42,970 --> 00:10:45,350
- No.
- Please! I don't wanna go back there!

169
00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:49,350
You don't know what it's like to be
considered a freak. Well, maybe you do.

170
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,020
But that's why we gotta stick together.
You gotta let me stay!

171
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:55,230
- Please! Please!
- Okay! Okay!

172
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,900
- But one night only.
- Ah! Thank you!

173
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,320
- What are you... No! No!
- This is gonna be fun!

174
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,320
We can stay up late,
swapping manly stories,

175
00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:05,200
and in the morning
I'm making waffles.

176
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,540
- Oh!
- Where do, uh, I sleep?

177
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,370
Outside!

178
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:13,540
Oh, well, I guess that's cool.

179
00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:15,710
I mean, I don't know you,
and you don't know me,

180
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,170
so I guess outside
is best, you know.

181
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:21,260
Here I go.

182
00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:27,520
Good night.

183
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,588
I mean, I do like the outdoors.
I'm a donkey.

184
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,600
I was born outside.

185
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:34,360
I'll just be sitting by myself
outside, I guess, you know.

186
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,730
By myself, outside.

187
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:41,610
I'm all alone There's
no one here beside me.

188
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,510
I thought I told you to stay outside.

189
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,270
I am outside.

190
00:12:57,770 --> 00:13:01,570
Well, gents, it's a far cry from the
farm, but what choice do we have?

191
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:04,150
It's not home, but
it'll do just fine.

192
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,160
What a lovely bed.

193
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,580
- Got ya.
- I found some cheese.

194
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:11,160
- Ow!
- Blah! Awful stuff.

195
00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:15,500
- Is that you, Gorder?
- How did you know?

196
00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:18,500
Enough! What are you
doing in my house?

197
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:20,500
Hey!

198
00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:23,220
Oh, no, no, no.

199
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,083
Dead broad off the table.

200
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,890
Where are we supposed to put her?
The bed's taken.

201
00:13:26,970 --> 00:13:30,140
Huh?

202
00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:32,850
What?

203
00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:37,690
I live in a swamp. I put up signs.
I'm a terrifying ogre!

204
00:13:37,770 --> 00:13:40,400
What do I have to do to
get a little privacy?

205
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,900
- Aah!
- Oh, no.

206
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,700
Oh, no.

207
00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:49,370
No! No!

208
00:13:49,450 --> 00:13:52,370
What?

209
00:13:52,450 --> 00:13:54,370
- Quit it.
- Don't push.

210
00:13:58,790 --> 00:14:01,710
What are you doing
in my swamp?

211
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,210
Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!

212
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:07,510
Oh, dear!

213
00:14:07,590 --> 00:14:09,220
Whoa!

214
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:12,680
All right, get out of here.
All of you, move it!

215
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,180
Come on! Let's go! Hapaya!
Hapaya! Hey!

216
00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:17,230
- Quickly. Come on!
- No, no!

217
00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:19,520
No, no. Not there. Not there.

218
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:23,110
Oh!

219
00:14:23,190 --> 00:14:26,070
Hey, don't look at me.
I didn't invite them.

220
00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:28,240
Oh, gosh, no one invited us.

221
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,910
- What?
- We were forced to come here.

222
00:14:30,990 --> 00:14:33,120
- By who?
- Lord Farquaad.

223
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:37,960
He huffed und he puffed und he...
signed an eviction notice.

224
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,750
All right.

225
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:45,090
Who knows where this
Farquaad guy is?

226
00:14:45,170 --> 00:14:47,970
Oh, I do. I know where he is.

227
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:51,760
Does anyone else know
where to find him?

228
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:55,470
- Any one at all?
- Me! Me!

229
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,480
- Anyone?
- Oh! Oh, pick me!

230
00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,980
Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!

231
00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:03,190
Okay, fine.

232
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:07,820
Attention, all
fairy tale things.

233
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:12,620
Do not get comfortable. Your
welcome is officially worn out.

234
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:16,410
In fact, I'm gonna see this
guy Farquaad right now...

235
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,620
and get you all off my land
and back where you came from!

236
00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:30,130
Oh! You!

237
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,140
You're coming with me.

238
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:34,560
All right, that's what
I like to hear, man.

239
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:38,430
Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends,
off on a whirlwind big-city adventure.

240
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,520
I love it!

241
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,770
<i>- On the road again Sing it with me, Shrek.
- Hey. Oh, oh!</i>

242
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,820
I can't wait to get
on the road again.

243
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,820
What did I say about singing?

244
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,820
- Can I whistle?
- No.

245
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:52,700
- Can I hum it?
- All right, hum it.

246
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,520
That's enough. He's
ready to talk.

247
00:16:38,450 --> 00:16:40,910
Run, run, run, as
fast as you can.

248
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,540
You can't catch me. I'm
the gingerbread man!

249
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:48,210
- You're a monster.
- I'm not the monster here. You are.

250
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:52,550
You and the rest of that fairy tale
trash, poisoning my perfect world.

251
00:16:52,630 --> 00:16:54,550
Now, tell me! Where
are the others?

252
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,180
Eat me!

253
00:16:57,260 --> 00:17:00,180
I've tried to be fair
to you creatures.

254
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:03,770
Now my patience has reached its end!
Tell me or I'll...

255
00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:06,650
No, no, not the buttons.
Not my gumdrop buttons.

256
00:17:06,730 --> 00:17:08,730
All right then.
Who's hiding them?

257
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:14,150
Okay, I'll tell you. Do
you know the muffin man?

258
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,570
- The muffin man?
- The muffin man.

259
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:20,080
Yes, I know the muffin man,
who lives on Drury Lane?

260
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,580
Well, she's married
to the muffin man.

261
00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:25,790
- The muffin man?
- The muffin man!

262
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,880
She's married to the muffin man.

263
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,630
My Lord! We found it.

264
00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:33,920
Then what are you waiting for?
Bring it in.

265
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:47,810
Oh!

266
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:52,230
- Magic mirror...
- Don't tell him anything!

267
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,650
No!

268
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:58,490
Evening.

269
00:17:58,570 --> 00:18:00,450
Mirror, mirror, on the wall.

270
00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:03,910
Is this not the most perfect
kingdom of them all?

271
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,580
Well, technically
you're not a king.

272
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:10,090
Uh, Thelonius.

273
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:13,800
- You were saying?
- What I mean is, you're not a king yet.

274
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,470
But you can become one. All you
have to do is marry a princess.

275
00:18:17,550 --> 00:18:20,550
Go on.

276
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:24,270
So, just sit back
and relax, my Lord,

277
00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:28,650
because it's time for you to meet
today's eligible bachelorettes.

278
00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:32,320
And here they are!

279
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:37,360
Bachelorette number one is a mentally
abused shut-in from a kingdom far, faraway.

280
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,700
She likes Sushi and
hot tubbing anytime.

281
00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:43,240
Her hobbies include cooking and
cleaning for her two evil sisters.

282
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:45,700
Please welcome Cinderella.

283
00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:49,830
Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing
girl from the land of fancy.

284
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,630
Although she lives with seven
other men, she's not easy.

285
00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:56,170
Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and
find out what a live wire she is.

286
00:18:56,260 --> 00:19:00,010
Come on. Give it
up for Snow White!

287
00:19:00,090 --> 00:19:02,720
And last, but
certainly not least,

288
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,890
bachelorette number three
is a fiery redhead...

289
00:19:04,970 --> 00:19:07,520
from a dragon-guarded castle
surrounded by hot boiling lava!

290
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,650
But don't let that cool you off.

291
00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:12,900
She's a loaded pistol who likes pina
coladas and getting caught in the rain.

292
00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:17,030
Yours for the rescuing,
Princess Fiona!

293
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:19,570
So will it be
bachelorette number one,

294
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:23,160
bachelorette number two or
bachelorette number three?

295
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,410
- Two! Two!
- Three! Three!

296
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:26,830
- Two! Two!
- Three!

297
00:19:26,910 --> 00:19:29,040
Three? One? Three?

298
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,170
Three! Pick number
three, my Lord!

299
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:35,000
Okay, okay, uh, number three!

300
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:39,840
Lord Farquaad, you've
chosen Princess Fiona.

301
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:43,720
If you love pina coladas.

302
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,140
<i>- And getting caught in the rain.
- Princess Fiona.</i>

303
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,390
<i>- If you're not into yoga.
- She's perfect.</i>

304
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,230
All I have to do is just
find someone who can go...

305
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:54,570
But I probably should mention the
little thing that happens at night.

306
00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:56,570
- I'll do it.
- Yes, but after sunset...

307
00:19:56,650 --> 00:20:00,740
Silence! I will make this
Princess Fiona my queen,

308
00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:04,990
and DuLoc will finally
have the perfect king!

309
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,290
Captain, assemble
your finest men.

310
00:20:07,370 --> 00:20:11,250
We're going to
have a tournament.

311
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,920
But that's it. That's it right there.
That's DuLoc.

312
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,050
I told ya I'd find it.

313
00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:22,260
So, that must be Lord
Farquaad's castle.

314
00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:24,430
Uh-huh. That's the place.

315
00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:27,930
Do you think maybe he's
compensating for something?

316
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,150
Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.

317
00:20:34,230 --> 00:20:37,110
Hurry, darling. We're late.
Hurry.

318
00:20:38,690 --> 00:20:42,240
Hey, you!

319
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,160
Wait a second. Look,
I'm not gonna eat ya.

320
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:49,160
I just... I just...

321
00:21:19,690 --> 00:21:21,280
It's quiet.

322
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,990
Too quiet.

323
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:32,700
- Where is everybody?
- Hey, look at this!

324
00:21:46,090 --> 00:21:49,510
Welcome to DuLoc
such a perfect town.

325
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,020
Here we have some rules
Let us lay them down.

326
00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:56,980
Don't make waves, stay in line
and we'll get along fine.

327
00:21:57,060 --> 00:22:00,690
DuLoc is a perfect place.

328
00:22:00,770 --> 00:22:05,320
Please keep off of the grass Shine
your shoes, wipe your... face.

329
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,990
DuLoc is, DuLoc is.

330
00:22:09,070 --> 00:22:12,540
DuLoc is a perfect.

331
00:22:12,620 --> 00:22:16,040
...Place.

332
00:22:19,790 --> 00:22:24,010
Wow! Let's do that again!

333
00:22:24,090 --> 00:22:26,760
No. No. No, no, no! No.

334
00:22:29,180 --> 00:22:31,560
Brave knights.

335
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,693
<i>You are the best and
brightest in all the land.</i>

336
00:22:35,850 --> 00:22:38,270
Today one of you shall
prove himself...

337
00:22:38,350 --> 00:22:40,690
All right. You're going the
right way for a smacked bottom.

338
00:22:40,770 --> 00:22:42,690
Sorry about that.

339
00:22:42,770 --> 00:22:48,280
That champion shall have the honour...
no, no... the privilege...

340
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:52,410
to go forth and rescue the
lovely Princess Fiona...

341
00:22:52,490 --> 00:22:55,830
from the fiery keep
oft he dragon.

342
00:22:55,910 --> 00:23:00,130
If for any reason the
winner is unsuccessful,

343
00:23:00,210 --> 00:23:03,380
the first runner-up
will take his place...

344
00:23:03,460 --> 00:23:06,260
and so on and so forth.

345
00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:11,760
Some of you may die, but it's a
sacrifice I am willing to make.

346
00:23:16,890 --> 00:23:19,310
Let the tournament begin!

347
00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:24,940
Oh!

348
00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:28,280
What is that?

349
00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:32,950
- It's hideous!
- Ah, that's not very nice.

350
00:23:33,030 --> 00:23:35,450
- It's just a donkey.
- Huh?

351
00:23:35,540 --> 00:23:38,500
Indeed. Knights, new plan!

352
00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:43,290
The one who kills the ogre will
be named champion! Have at him!

353
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:47,300
- Get him!
- Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.

354
00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:49,680
Go ahead! Get him!

355
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,430
Can't we just settle
this over a pint?

356
00:23:53,510 --> 00:23:54,760
Kill the beast!

357
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:59,310
No? All right then.

358
00:23:59,390 --> 00:24:01,480
Come on!

359
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:13,700
I don't give a damn
about my reputation.

360
00:24:13,780 --> 00:24:17,790
<i>- You're living in the past
It's a new generation. - Damn!</i>

361
00:24:17,870 --> 00:24:20,660
<i>A girl can do what she wants to do.</i>

362
00:24:20,750 --> 00:24:23,000
And that's what I'm gonna do.

363
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,000
And I don't give a damn
about my bad reputation.

364
00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:30,840
Oh, no, no, no, no, no Not me.

365
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:34,300
<i>- Me, me, me.
- Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!</i>

366
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:37,140
And I don't give a damn
about my reputation.

367
00:24:37,220 --> 00:24:39,470
Never said I wanted to
improve my station.

368
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,060
Ah!

369
00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:44,190
<i>- And I'm always feeling good
when I'm having fun. - Yeah!</i>

370
00:24:44,270 --> 00:24:46,360
And I don't have
to please no one.

371
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,360
The chair! Give him the chair!

372
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:51,070
And I don't give a damn
about my bad reputation.

373
00:24:51,150 --> 00:24:54,320
Oh, no, no, no, no, no Not me.

374
00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:55,820
Me, me, me.

375
00:24:55,910 --> 00:24:58,580
Oh, no, no, no, no.

376
00:24:58,660 --> 00:25:02,330
Not me, not me.

377
00:25:02,410 --> 00:25:04,880
<i> Not me.</i>

378
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:13,220
Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah!

379
00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:16,090
Thank you! Thank
you very much!

380
00:25:16,180 --> 00:25:18,560
I'm here till Thursday.
Try the veal! Ha, ha!

381
00:25:25,020 --> 00:25:26,980
Shall I give the order, sir?

382
00:25:27,060 --> 00:25:30,650
No, I have a better idea.

383
00:25:30,730 --> 00:25:35,910
People of DuLoc, I
give you our champion!

384
00:25:35,990 --> 00:25:39,870
- What?
- Congratulations, ogre.

385
00:25:39,950 --> 00:25:44,290
You've won the honour of embarking
on a great and noble quest.

386
00:25:44,370 --> 00:25:48,750
Quest? I'm already on a quest,
a quest to get my swamp back.

387
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:52,050
- Your swamp?
- Yeah, my swamp!

388
00:25:52,130 --> 00:25:54,590
Where you dumped those
fairy tale creatures!

389
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,260
Indeed.

390
00:25:57,340 --> 00:25:59,430
All right, ogre, I'll
make you a deal.

391
00:25:59,510 --> 00:26:03,310
Go on this quest for me, and
I'll give you your swamp back.

392
00:26:03,390 --> 00:26:06,100
Exactly the way it was?

393
00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:08,940
Down to the last
slime-covered toad stool.

394
00:26:09,020 --> 00:26:12,280
- And the squatters?
- As good as gone.

395
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:19,280
What kind of quest?

396
00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:21,950
Let me get this straight.
You're gonna go fight a dragon...

397
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,749
and rescue a princess just so Farquaad
will give you back a swamp...

398
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:27,959
which you only don't have because he filled
it full of freaks in the first place.

399
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,118
Is that about right?

400
00:26:30,131 --> 00:26:32,300
Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.

401
00:26:32,380 --> 00:26:35,920
I don't get it. Why don't you just
pull some of that ogre stuff on him?

402
00:26:36,010 --> 00:26:37,930
Throttle him, lay siege
to his fortress,

403
00:26:38,010 --> 00:26:40,850
grind his bones to make your
bread, the whole ogre trip.

404
00:26:40,930 --> 00:26:42,850
Oh, I know what.

405
00:26:42,930 --> 00:26:45,140
Maybe I could have decapitated
an entire village...

406
00:26:45,230 --> 00:26:47,350
and put their heads on a pike,

407
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:51,060
gotten a knife, cut open their
spleen and drink their fluids.

408
00:26:51,150 --> 00:26:53,280
Does that sound good to you?

409
00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:55,990
Uh, no, not really, no.

410
00:26:56,070 --> 00:26:59,870
For your information, there's a lot
more to ogres than people think.

411
00:26:59,950 --> 00:27:02,700
- Example?
- Example?

412
00:27:02,780 --> 00:27:08,920
- Okay, um, ogres are like onions.
- They stink?

413
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,290
- Yes... No!
- They make you cry? - No!

414
00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:14,800
You leave them out in the sun, they get all
brown, start sprouting little white hairs.

415
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,880
No! Layers!

416
00:27:16,970 --> 00:27:19,300
Onions have layers.

417
00:27:19,380 --> 00:27:22,680
Ogres have layers!
Onions have layers.

418
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,180
You get it? We both have layers.

419
00:27:27,100 --> 00:27:30,690
Oh, you both have layers. Oh.

420
00:27:30,770 --> 00:27:34,150
You know, not everybody likes onions.

421
00:27:34,230 --> 00:27:36,860
Cake! Everybody loves cakes!
Cakes have layers.

422
00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:40,860
I don't care... what
everyone likes.

423
00:27:40,950 --> 00:27:44,660
Ogres are not like cakes.

424
00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:49,870
You know what else everybody likes?
Parfaits.

425
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,880
Have you ever met a person, you
say, Let's get some parfait,

426
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,880
they say, No, I don't
like no parfait?

427
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,710
- Parfaits are delicious.
- No!

428
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,550
You dense, irritating,
miniature beast of burden!

429
00:27:59,630 --> 00:28:02,550
Ogres are like onions!
End of story.

430
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,600
Bye-bye. See ya later.

431
00:28:08,430 --> 00:28:12,860
Parfaits may be the most delicious
thing on the whole damn planet.

432
00:28:12,940 --> 00:28:15,150
You know, I think I
preferred your humming.

433
00:28:15,230 --> 00:28:17,900
Do you have a tissue or something?
I'm making a mess.

434
00:28:17,990 --> 00:28:20,900
Just the word parfait
make me start slobbering.

435
00:28:25,330 --> 00:28:31,210
I'm on my way from misery
to happiness today.

436
00:28:31,290 --> 00:28:33,790
Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh, uh-huh

437
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:39,340
I'm on my way from misery
to happiness today.

438
00:28:39,420 --> 00:28:41,880
Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh, uh-huh.

439
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:45,890
And everything that you
receive up yonder.

440
00:28:45,970 --> 00:28:49,890
Is what you give to
me the day I wander

441
00:28:49,980 --> 00:28:52,940
I'm on my way

442
00:28:54,020 --> 00:28:56,940
I'm on my way

443
00:28:58,030 --> 00:29:00,110
I'm on my way.

444
00:29:00,190 --> 00:29:02,650
Ooh! Shrek! Did you do that?

445
00:29:02,740 --> 00:29:06,530
You gotta warn somebody before you
just crack one off. My mouth was open.

446
00:29:06,620 --> 00:29:10,330
Believe me, Donkey, if it
was me, you'd be dead.

447
00:29:10,410 --> 00:29:13,170
It's brimstone.

448
00:29:13,250 --> 00:29:16,420
- We must be getting close.
- Yeah, right, brimstone.

449
00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,533
Don't be talking about
it's the brimstone. I

450
00:29:18,546 --> 00:29:20,590
know what I smell. It
wasn't no brimstone.

451
00:29:20,670 --> 00:29:22,630
It didn't come off
no stone neither.

452
00:29:40,650 --> 00:29:43,990
Sure, it's big enough, but
look at the location.

453
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:51,830
Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when
you said ogres have layers?

454
00:29:51,910 --> 00:29:53,830
Oh, aye.

455
00:29:53,910 --> 00:29:57,500
Well, I have a bit of
a confession to make.

456
00:29:57,580 --> 00:30:00,960
Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our
fear right out there on our sleeves.

457
00:30:01,050 --> 00:30:03,078
Wait a second. Donkeys
don't have sleeves.

458
00:30:03,091 --> 00:30:05,130
You know what I mean.

459
00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:07,890
You can't tell me you're
afraid of heights.

460
00:30:07,970 --> 00:30:10,253
I'm just a little
uncomfortable about being on

461
00:30:10,266 --> 00:30:12,560
a rickety bridge over a
boiling lake of lava!

462
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:16,690
Come on, Donkey. I'm right
here beside ya, okay?

463
00:30:16,770 --> 00:30:19,440
For emotional support,

464
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:24,070
we'll just tackle this thing together
one little baby step at a time.

465
00:30:24,150 --> 00:30:26,070
- Really?
- Really, really.

466
00:30:26,150 --> 00:30:29,370
- Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
- Just keep moving.

467
00:30:29,450 --> 00:30:34,040
- And don't look down.
- Okay, don't look down. Don't look down.

468
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,500
Don't look down. Keep on moving.
Don't look down.

469
00:30:37,580 --> 00:30:41,380
Shrek! I'm looking down!

470
00:30:41,460 --> 00:30:44,380
Oh, God, I can't do this!
Just let me off, please!

471
00:30:44,460 --> 00:30:48,010
- But you're already halfway.
- But I know that half is safe!

472
00:30:48,090 --> 00:30:50,890
Okay, fine. I don't have time for this.
You go back.

473
00:30:50,970 --> 00:30:53,390
- Shrek, no! Wait!
- Just, Donkey...

474
00:30:53,470 --> 00:30:56,560
- Let's have a dance then, shall we?
- Don't do that!

475
00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,520
Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?

476
00:31:00,610 --> 00:31:03,690
- Oh, this?
- Yes, that!

477
00:31:03,780 --> 00:31:07,200
Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.

478
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,570
No, Shrek!

479
00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:12,780
- No! Stop it!
- You said do it! I'm doing it.

480
00:31:12,870 --> 00:31:17,120
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.
Shrek, I'm gonna die.

481
00:31:17,210 --> 00:31:19,710
Oh!

482
00:31:19,790 --> 00:31:23,800
That'll do, Donkey.
That'll do.

483
00:31:27,170 --> 00:31:29,430
Cool.

484
00:31:29,510 --> 00:31:32,260
So where is this
fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?

485
00:31:32,350 --> 00:31:36,100
Inside, waiting for
us to rescue her.

486
00:31:36,180 --> 00:31:39,100
I was talking about the dragon, Shrek.

487
00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:56,500
You afraid?

488
00:31:56,580 --> 00:31:59,870
No, but... Shh.

489
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:03,500
Oh, good. Me neither.

490
00:32:03,590 --> 00:32:06,960
'Cause there's nothing
wrong with being afraid.

491
00:32:07,050 --> 00:32:10,300
Fear's a sensible response
to an unfamiliar situation.

492
00:32:10,380 --> 00:32:12,430
Unfamiliar dangerous
situation, I might add.

493
00:32:12,510 --> 00:32:15,219
With a dragon that breathes fire and
eats knights and breathes fire,

494
00:32:15,220 --> 00:32:18,680
it sure doesn't mean you're a
coward if you're a little scared.

495
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:22,770
I sure as heck am not a coward. I know that.

496
00:32:22,860 --> 00:32:26,190
Donkey, two things, okay?

497
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,820
Shut... up.

498
00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:31,660
Now go over there and see
if you can find any stairs.

499
00:32:31,740 --> 00:32:34,370
Stairs? I thought we was
looking for the princess.

500
00:32:34,450 --> 00:32:39,330
The princess will be up the stairs in
the highest room in the tallest tower.

501
00:32:39,410 --> 00:32:43,000
- What makes you think she'll be there?
- I read it in a book once.

502
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:47,000
Cool. You handle the dragon.
I'll handle the stairs.

503
00:32:47,090 --> 00:32:50,130
I'll find those stairs.
I'll whip their butt too.

504
00:32:50,220 --> 00:32:52,180
Those stairs won't know
which way they're going.

505
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,640
I'm gonna take drastic steps.

506
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,520
Kick it to the kerb. Don't mess with me.
I'm the stair master.

507
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:06,190
I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a
step right here. I'd step all over it.

508
00:33:09,150 --> 00:33:12,700
Well, at least we know where the
princess is, but where's the...

509
00:33:12,780 --> 00:33:17,030
Dragon!

510
00:33:30,630 --> 00:33:32,880
Donkey, look out!

511
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,520
Got ya!

512
00:33:49,780 --> 00:33:55,030
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

513
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:13,630
Oh! Aah! Aah!

514
00:34:22,310 --> 00:34:25,730
No. Oh, no. No!

515
00:34:25,810 --> 00:34:29,440
Oh, what large teeth you have.

516
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,428
I mean, white, sparkling teeth.
I know you

517
00:34:31,441 --> 00:34:33,360
probably hear this all
the time from your food,

518
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:37,570
but you must bleach, 'cause that is
one dazzling smile you got there.

519
00:34:37,660 --> 00:34:40,160
Do I detect a hint
of minty freshness?

520
00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:45,000
And you know what else? You're...
You're a girl dragon!

521
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:49,590
Oh, sure! I mean, of course
you're a girl dragon.

522
00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:53,460
You're just reeking
of feminine beauty.

523
00:34:53,550 --> 00:34:55,880
What's the matter with you? You
got something in your eye?

524
00:34:55,970 --> 00:34:58,800
Ooh. Oh. Oh.

525
00:34:58,890 --> 00:35:01,389
Man, I'd really love to stay, but,
you know, I'm, uh...

526
00:35:01,390 --> 00:35:05,350
I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd
work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings.

527
00:35:05,430 --> 00:35:07,350
Shrek!

528
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:11,150
No! Shrek! Shrek!

529
00:35:11,230 --> 00:35:13,150
Shrek!

530
00:35:44,430 --> 00:35:45,850
Oh! Oh!

531
00:35:45,930 --> 00:35:47,850
- Wake up!
- What?

532
00:35:47,940 --> 00:35:49,560
Are you Princess Fiona?

533
00:35:49,650 --> 00:35:54,980
I am, awaiting a knight
so bold as to rescue me.

534
00:35:55,070 --> 00:35:57,070
Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!

535
00:35:57,150 --> 00:35:59,150
But wait, Sir Knight.

536
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:01,530
This be-ith our first meeting.

537
00:36:01,620 --> 00:36:05,330
Should it not be a
wonderful, romantic moment?

538
00:36:05,410 --> 00:36:09,750
- Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.
- Hey, wait. What are you doing?

539
00:36:09,830 --> 00:36:11,920
You should sweep
me off my feet...

540
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,380
out yonder window and down a
rope on to your Valiant steed.

541
00:36:15,460 --> 00:36:18,260
You've had a lot of time
to plan this, haven't you?

542
00:36:18,340 --> 00:36:22,590
Mm-hmm.

543
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,560
But we have to
savour this moment!

544
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,390
You could recite an
epic poem for me.

545
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,940
A ballad? A sonnet!

546
00:36:31,020 --> 00:36:34,270
- A Limerick? Or something!
- I don't think so.

547
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:38,780
Can I at least know the
name of my champion?

548
00:36:38,860 --> 00:36:40,780
Um, Shrek.

549
00:36:40,860 --> 00:36:44,580
Sir Shrek.

550
00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:49,410
I pray that you take this favour
as a token of my gratitude.

551
00:36:50,540 --> 00:36:52,540
Thanks!

552
00:36:56,550 --> 00:36:58,380
You didn't slay the dragon?

553
00:36:58,460 --> 00:37:00,920
It's on my to-do list. Now come on!

554
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:03,590
But this isn't right!

555
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,930
You were meant to charge in,
sword drawn, banner flying.

556
00:37:06,010 --> 00:37:08,100
That's what all the
other knights did.

557
00:37:08,180 --> 00:37:10,480
Yeah, right before
they burst into flame.

558
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:14,100
That's not the point. Oh!

559
00:37:14,190 --> 00:37:16,650
Wait. Where are you going?
The exit's over there.

560
00:37:16,730 --> 00:37:18,780
Well, I have to save my ass.

561
00:37:18,860 --> 00:37:22,070
What kind of knight are you?

562
00:37:22,150 --> 00:37:24,570
One of a kind.

563
00:37:24,660 --> 00:37:27,030
Slowdown. Slowdown, baby, please.

564
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:31,330
I believe it's healthy to get to know
someone over a long period of time.

565
00:37:31,410 --> 00:37:34,000
Just call me old-fashioned.

566
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,590
I don't want to rush into
a physical relationship.

567
00:37:37,670 --> 00:37:41,130
I'm not emotionally ready for
a commitment of, uh, this...

568
00:37:41,220 --> 00:37:43,510
Magnitude really is the
word I'm looking for.

569
00:37:43,590 --> 00:37:47,100
Magnitude... Hey, that is
unwanted physical contact.

570
00:37:47,180 --> 00:37:49,640
Hey, what are you doing?

571
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:52,980
Okay, okay. Let's just backup a little
and take this one step a ta time.

572
00:37:53,060 --> 00:37:57,190
We really should get to know each
other first as friends or pen pals.

573
00:37:57,270 --> 00:38:01,490
I'm on the road a lot, but I
just love receiving cards...

574
00:38:01,570 --> 00:38:03,990
I'd really love
to stay, but...

575
00:38:04,070 --> 00:38:06,660
Don't do that! That's my tail!
That's my personal tail.

576
00:38:06,740 --> 00:38:08,438
You're gonna tear it off. I
don't give permission...

577
00:38:08,451 --> 00:38:10,160
What are you gonna do with that?

578
00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:14,040
Hey, now. No way. No! No!

579
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,880
No, no! No. No, no, no!
No! Oh!

580
00:38:43,740 --> 00:38:45,700
- Hi, Princess!
- It talks!

581
00:38:45,780 --> 00:38:49,530
Yeah, it's getting him to
shut up that's the trick.

582
00:38:54,790 --> 00:38:56,420
Oh!

583
00:39:25,110 --> 00:39:27,030
Okay, you two,
head for the exit!

584
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,700
I'll take care of the dragon.

585
00:39:37,290 --> 00:39:42,710
Run!

586
00:40:24,290 --> 00:40:28,970
You did it!

587
00:40:29,050 --> 00:40:31,930
You rescued me! You're amazing.
You're...

588
00:40:32,010 --> 00:40:35,760
You're wonderful. You're...

589
00:40:35,850 --> 00:40:38,140
a little unorthodox I'll admit.

590
00:40:38,230 --> 00:40:43,150
But thy deed is great,
and thine heart is pure.

591
00:40:43,230 --> 00:40:47,030
I am eternally in your debt.

592
00:40:47,110 --> 00:40:51,450
And where would a brave knight
be without his noble steed?

593
00:40:51,530 --> 00:40:53,853
I hope you heard that. She
called me a noble steed.

594
00:40:53,866 --> 00:40:56,200
She think I'm a steed.

595
00:40:56,290 --> 00:40:59,450
The battle is won.

596
00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:02,040
You may remove your
helmet, good Sir Knight.

597
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,710
- Uh, no.
- Why not?

598
00:41:04,790 --> 00:41:07,000
I have helmet hair.

599
00:41:07,090 --> 00:41:10,300
Please. I would'st look upon
the face of my rescuer.

600
00:41:10,380 --> 00:41:12,970
No, no, you wouldn't... 'St.

601
00:41:13,050 --> 00:41:15,510
But how will you kiss me?

602
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:19,350
What? That wasn't in
the job description.

603
00:41:19,430 --> 00:41:21,810
Maybe it's a perk.

604
00:41:21,890 --> 00:41:26,320
No, it's destiny. Oh, you
must know how it goes.

605
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:30,190
A princess locked in a tower
and beset by a dragon...

606
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,200
is rescued by a brave knight,

607
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,580
and then they share
true love's first kiss.

608
00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:38,740
Hmm? With Shrek? You think...
Wait.

609
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:42,000
Wait. You think that
Shrek is your true love?

610
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:44,080
Well, yes.

611
00:41:48,130 --> 00:41:50,590
You think Shrek is
your true love!

612
00:41:50,670 --> 00:41:52,590
What is so funny?

613
00:41:52,670 --> 00:41:55,760
Let's just say I'm
not your type, okay?

614
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:59,350
Of course, you are.
You're my rescuer.

615
00:41:59,430 --> 00:42:01,890
Now... Now remove your helmet.

616
00:42:01,980 --> 00:42:04,190
Look. I really don't think
this is a good idea.

617
00:42:04,270 --> 00:42:06,270
- Just take off the helmet.
- I'm not going to.

618
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:07,520
- Take it off.
- No!

619
00:42:07,610 --> 00:42:09,690
- Now!
- Okay!

620
00:42:09,780 --> 00:42:14,280
Easy. As you command,
Your Highness.

621
00:42:24,330 --> 00:42:27,750
You... You're a... an ogre.

622
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:31,760
Oh, you were expecting
Prince Charming.

623
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:34,340
Well, yes, actually.

624
00:42:36,260 --> 00:42:39,510
Oh, no. This is all wrong.

625
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,890
You're not supposed
to be an ogre.

626
00:42:41,970 --> 00:42:47,230
Princess, I was sent to
rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay?

627
00:42:47,310 --> 00:42:49,230
He's the one who
wants to marry you.

628
00:42:49,310 --> 00:42:51,230
Then why didn't he
come rescue me?

629
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:55,650
Good question. You should ask
him that when we get there.

630
00:42:55,740 --> 00:42:58,780
But I have to be rescued
by my true love,

631
00:42:58,870 --> 00:43:01,620
not by some ogre and his...
his pet.

632
00:43:01,700 --> 00:43:03,750
So much for noble steed.

633
00:43:03,830 --> 00:43:06,460
You're not making
my job any easier.

634
00:43:06,540 --> 00:43:09,920
I'm sorry, but your job
is not my problem.

635
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:15,260
You can tell Lord Farquaad that if
he wants to rescue me properly,

636
00:43:15,340 --> 00:43:17,680
I'll be waiting for
him right here.

637
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:22,810
Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right?
I'm a delivery boy.

638
00:43:22,890 --> 00:43:25,140
You wouldn't dare.

639
00:43:25,230 --> 00:43:27,230
- Put me down!
- Ya coming, Donkey?

640
00:43:27,310 --> 00:43:29,270
I'm right behind ya.

641
00:43:29,350 --> 00:43:32,940
Put me down, or you will
suffer the consequences!

642
00:43:33,030 --> 00:43:37,530
This is not dignified! Put me down!

643
00:43:37,610 --> 00:43:40,490
Okay, so here's
another question.

644
00:43:40,570 --> 00:43:43,620
Say there's a woman that digs you, right,
but you don't really like her that way.

645
00:43:43,700 --> 00:43:46,159
How do you let her down real easy
so her feelings aren't hurt,

646
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,670
but you don't get burned
to a crisp and eaten?

647
00:43:48,750 --> 00:43:51,500
You just tell her she's
not your true love.

648
00:43:51,590 --> 00:43:54,300
Everyone knowest what happens
when you find your...

649
00:43:54,380 --> 00:43:56,970
Hey!

650
00:43:57,050 --> 00:43:59,340
The sooner we get to
DuLoc the better.

651
00:43:59,430 --> 00:44:02,350
You're gonna love it there, Princess.
It's beautiful!

652
00:44:02,430 --> 00:44:06,180
And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad?
What's he like?

653
00:44:06,270 --> 00:44:08,390
Let me put it this
way, Princess.

654
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:12,480
Men of Farquaad's stature
are in short supply.

655
00:44:14,570 --> 00:44:18,650
I don't know. There are those
who think little of him.

656
00:44:20,780 --> 00:44:23,660
Stop it. Stop it, both of you.

657
00:44:23,740 --> 00:44:28,710
You're just jealous you can never measure
up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.

658
00:44:28,790 --> 00:44:31,710
Yeah, well, maybe
you're right, Princess.

659
00:44:31,790 --> 00:44:35,090
But I'll let you do the measuring
when you see him tomorrow.

660
00:44:35,170 --> 00:44:39,380
Tomorrow? It'll take that long?

661
00:44:39,470 --> 00:44:44,180
- Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
- No, that'll take longer.

662
00:44:44,260 --> 00:44:48,680
- We can keep going.
- But there's robbers in the woods.

663
00:44:48,770 --> 00:44:52,100
Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping
is starting to sound good.

664
00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:56,280
Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything
we're going to see in this forest.

665
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,740
I need to find
somewhere to camp now!

666
00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:09,710
- Hey! Over here.
- Shrek, we can do better than that.

667
00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:12,370
I don't think this is
fit for a princess.

668
00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:15,250
No, no, it's perfect. It just
needs a few homey touches.

669
00:45:15,340 --> 00:45:20,260
Homey touches? Like what?

670
00:45:20,340 --> 00:45:24,600
A door? Well, gentlemen,
I bid thee good night.

671
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,060
You want me to read you a
bedtime story? I will.

672
00:45:27,140 --> 00:45:29,470
I said good night!

673
00:45:31,940 --> 00:45:33,900
Shrek, what are you doing?

674
00:45:33,980 --> 00:45:37,020
I just... You know... Oh, come on.

675
00:45:37,110 --> 00:45:39,740
I was just kidding.

676
00:45:45,030 --> 00:45:48,620
And, uh, that one,
that's Throwback,

677
00:45:48,700 --> 00:45:52,120
the only ogre to ever spit
over three wheat fields.

678
00:45:52,210 --> 00:45:55,290
Right. Yeah.

679
00:45:55,380 --> 00:45:58,300
Hey, can you tell my
future from these stars?

680
00:45:58,380 --> 00:46:01,970
The stars don't tell the future, Donkey.
They tell stories.

681
00:46:02,050 --> 00:46:05,640
Look there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent.

682
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:09,350
- You can guess what he's famous for.
- I know you're making this up.

683
00:46:09,430 --> 00:46:12,140
No, look. There he is,

684
00:46:12,230 --> 00:46:15,310
and there's the group of hunters
running away from his stench.

685
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,980
That is nothing but a
bunch of little dots.

686
00:46:18,070 --> 00:46:21,990
Sometimes things are
more than they appear.

687
00:46:22,070 --> 00:46:24,240
Hmm?

688
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:26,370
Forget it.

689
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:32,960
Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do
when we get our swamp anyway?

690
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:34,830
Our swamp?

691
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,000
You know, when we're through
rescuing the princess.

692
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:41,840
We? Donkey, there's no we.
There's no our.

693
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,170
There's just me and my swamp.

694
00:46:44,260 --> 00:46:48,510
The first thing I'm gonna do is build
a ten-foot wall around my land.

695
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,100
You cut me deep, Shrek.

696
00:46:51,180 --> 00:46:54,520
You cut me real deep just now.

697
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,520
You know what I think?

698
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,730
I think this whole wall thing is
just a way to keep somebody out.

699
00:46:59,820 --> 00:47:03,990
- No, do ya think?
- Are you hiding something?

700
00:47:04,070 --> 00:47:06,030
Never mind, Donkey.

701
00:47:06,110 --> 00:47:09,530
Oh, this is another one of
those onion things, isn't it?

702
00:47:09,620 --> 00:47:13,200
No, this is one of those drop-it
and leave-it-alone things.

703
00:47:13,290 --> 00:47:17,040
- Why don't you want to talk about it?
- Why do you want to?

704
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:18,920
- Why are you blocking?
- I'm not blocking.

705
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,250
- Oh, yes, you are.
- Donkey, I'm warning you.

706
00:47:21,340 --> 00:47:24,840
- Who you trying to keep out?
- Everyone! Okay?

707
00:47:26,090 --> 00:47:28,550
Oh, now we're getting somewhere.

708
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:31,930
Oh! For the love of Pete!

709
00:47:32,010 --> 00:47:34,430
What's your problem? What you
got against the whole world?

710
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,730
I'm not the one with
the problem, okay?

711
00:47:36,810 --> 00:47:39,770
It's the world that seems
to have a problem with me.

712
00:47:39,860 --> 00:47:43,730
People take one look at me and go, Aah!
Help! Run!

713
00:47:43,820 --> 00:47:47,570
A big, stupid, ugly ogre!

714
00:47:47,650 --> 00:47:51,870
They judge me
before they even know me.

715
00:47:51,950 --> 00:47:53,870
That's why I'm
better off alone.

716
00:48:01,790 --> 00:48:04,000
You know what?

717
00:48:04,090 --> 00:48:09,760
When we met, I didn't think you was
just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.

718
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,760
Yeah, I know.

719
00:48:12,850 --> 00:48:16,270
So, uh, are there any
donkeys up there?

720
00:48:16,350 --> 00:48:19,730
Well, there's, um, Gabby,

721
00:48:19,810 --> 00:48:22,110
the Small and Annoying.

722
00:48:22,190 --> 00:48:27,110
Okay, I see it now. The big shiny
one, right there. That one there?

723
00:48:27,190 --> 00:48:30,360
- That's the moon.
- Oh, okay.

724
00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:54,140
Again. Show me again.

725
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:02,690
Mirror, mirror, show her to me.
Show me the princess.

726
00:49:02,770 --> 00:49:06,820
Hmph.

727
00:49:06,900 --> 00:49:11,700
Ah. Perfect.

728
00:50:15,010 --> 00:50:17,890
Mmm, yeah, you know I
like it like that.

729
00:50:17,970 --> 00:50:22,230
- Come on, baby. I said I like it.
- Donkey, wake up.

730
00:50:22,310 --> 00:50:24,850
- Huh? What?
- Wake up.

731
00:50:24,940 --> 00:50:26,900
- What?
- Good morning.

732
00:50:26,980 --> 00:50:30,230
How do you like your eggs?

733
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:34,280
- Good morning, Princess!
- What's all this about?

734
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:38,330
We kind of got off to a
bad start yesterday.

735
00:50:38,410 --> 00:50:40,410
I wanted to make it up to you.

736
00:50:40,490 --> 00:50:45,040
After all, you did rescue me.

737
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,130
Uh, thanks.

738
00:50:48,210 --> 00:50:52,010
Well, eat up. We've got
a big day ahead of us.

739
00:50:56,470 --> 00:50:58,430
Shrek!

740
00:50:58,510 --> 00:51:00,390
What? It's a compliment.

741
00:51:00,470 --> 00:51:03,430
Better out than in, I always say.

742
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:07,270
Well, it's no way to behave in
front of a princess.

743
00:51:07,350 --> 00:51:09,980
- Thanks.
- She's as nasty as you are.

744
00:51:10,070 --> 00:51:14,900
You know, you're not
exactly what I expected.

745
00:51:14,990 --> 00:51:20,080
Maybe you shouldn't judge people
before you get to know them.

746
00:51:22,870 --> 00:51:25,160
La Liberte! Hey!

747
00:51:25,250 --> 00:51:27,170
Princess!

748
00:51:27,250 --> 00:51:29,920
What are you doing?

749
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,920
Be still, Mon Cherie,
for I am your saviour!

750
00:51:33,010 --> 00:51:37,470
And I am rescuing you from this green...

751
00:51:37,550 --> 00:51:40,100
- Beast.
- Hey!

752
00:51:40,180 --> 00:51:42,510
That's my princess!
Go find your own!

753
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:47,640
Please, monster! Can't you
see I'm a little busy here?

754
00:51:47,730 --> 00:51:51,320
Look, pal, I don't know
who you think you are!

755
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,980
Oh! Of course! Oh, how rude.

756
00:51:54,070 --> 00:51:56,150
Please let me
introduce myself.

757
00:51:56,240 --> 00:51:59,110
Oh, Merry Men!

758
00:52:03,240 --> 00:52:05,200
Ta, dah, dah, dah, wooh

759
00:52:05,290 --> 00:52:07,370
I steal from the rich
and give to the needy.

760
00:52:07,460 --> 00:52:09,580
<i>- He takes a wee percentage.
- But I'm not greedy</i>

761
00:52:09,670 --> 00:52:11,670
I rescue pretty damsels
Man, I'm good.

762
00:52:11,750 --> 00:52:14,710
<i>- What a guy, Monsieur Hood.
- Break it down.</i>

763
00:52:18,430 --> 00:52:20,680
I like an honest fight
and a saucy little maid.

764
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:23,041
<i>- What he's basically saying
is he likes to get... - Paid.</i>

765
00:52:23,100 --> 00:52:25,680
<i>- So. - When an ogre in the
bush grabs a lady by the tush.</i>

766
00:52:25,770 --> 00:52:28,060
<i>- That's bad.
- That's bad.</i>

767
00:52:28,140 --> 00:52:30,400
When a beauty's with a beast
it makes me awfully mad.

768
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,400
He's mad He's
really, really mad

769
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,439
I'll take my blade and ram
it through your heart.

770
00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:39,030
Keep your eyes on me, boys
'cause I'm about to start.

771
00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:47,250
Man, that was annoying!

772
00:52:47,330 --> 00:52:49,080
Oh, you little...

773
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:19,400
Um, shall we?

774
00:53:20,740 --> 00:53:23,620
Ho ID the phone.

775
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:27,160
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on now.

776
00:53:27,240 --> 00:53:29,250
- Where did that come from?
- What?

777
00:53:29,330 --> 00:53:32,210
That! Back there.
That was amazing!

778
00:53:32,290 --> 00:53:34,210
Where did you learn that?

779
00:53:34,290 --> 00:53:37,420
Well... When one lives alone,

780
00:53:37,500 --> 00:53:40,260
uh, one has to learn these
things in case there's a...

781
00:53:40,340 --> 00:53:42,970
- There's an arrow in your butt!
- What?

782
00:53:43,050 --> 00:53:46,850
- Oh, would you look at that?
- Oh, no. This is all my fault.

783
00:53:46,930 --> 00:53:48,850
- I'm so sorry.
- Why? What's wrong?

784
00:53:48,930 --> 00:53:50,588
Shrek's hurt.

785
00:53:50,601 --> 00:53:52,270
Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt?
Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.

786
00:53:52,350 --> 00:53:54,238
Donkey, I'm okay.

787
00:53:54,251 --> 00:53:56,150
You can't do this to me. I'm
too young for you to die.

788
00:53:56,230 --> 00:53:58,360
Keep your legs elevated.
Turn your head and cough.

789
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:01,450
- Does anyone know the Heimlich?
- Donkey! Calm down.

790
00:54:01,530 --> 00:54:03,833
If you want to help
Shrek, run into the woods

791
00:54:03,846 --> 00:54:06,160
and find me a blue
flower with red thorns.

792
00:54:06,240 --> 00:54:09,830
Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it.
Blue flower, red thorns.

793
00:54:09,910 --> 00:54:13,370
Don't die, Shrek. If you see a long
tunnel, stay away from the light!

794
00:54:13,460 --> 00:54:16,630
- Donkey!
- Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.

795
00:54:16,710 --> 00:54:19,000
- Blue flower, red thorns.
- What are the flowers for?

796
00:54:19,090 --> 00:54:21,300
- For getting rid of Donkey.
- Ah.

797
00:54:21,380 --> 00:54:23,760
Now you hold still, and
I'll yank this thing out.

798
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:26,050
Ow! Hey! Easy
with the yanking.

799
00:54:26,140 --> 00:54:28,760
- I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
- No, it's tender.

800
00:54:28,850 --> 00:54:30,600
Now, hold on.

801
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:31,713
What you're doing is
the opposite of help.

802
00:54:31,726 --> 00:54:32,770
Don't move.

803
00:54:32,850 --> 00:54:35,520
- Look, time out.
- Would you...

804
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:40,070
Okay. What do you propose we do?

805
00:54:40,150 --> 00:54:41,493
Blue flower, red thorns.
Blue flower, red thorns.

806
00:54:41,506 --> 00:54:42,860
Blue flower, red thorns.

807
00:54:42,950 --> 00:54:45,320
This would be so much easier
if I wasn't colour-blind!

808
00:54:45,410 --> 00:54:47,490
- Blue flower, red thorns.
- Ow!

809
00:54:47,570 --> 00:54:49,990
Ho ID on, Shrek! I'm coming!

810
00:54:51,500 --> 00:54:53,620
Ow! Not good.

811
00:54:53,710 --> 00:54:56,250
Okay. Okay, I can nearly see the head.

812
00:54:56,330 --> 00:54:58,960
- It's just about...
- Ow! Ohh!

813
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:03,420
Ahem.

814
00:55:03,510 --> 00:55:06,890
Nothing happened.
We were just, uh...

815
00:55:06,970 --> 00:55:09,680
Look, if you wanted to be alone,
all you had to do was ask.

816
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:13,020
Oh, come on! That's the
last thing on my mind.

817
00:55:13,100 --> 00:55:16,770
The princess here was just...
Ugh!

818
00:55:19,940 --> 00:55:22,650
- Ow!
- Hey, what's that?

819
00:55:22,730 --> 00:55:25,570
That's... Is that blood?

820
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:45,550
My beloved monster and me.

821
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:51,310
We go everywhere together.

822
00:55:51,390 --> 00:55:56,100
Wearing a raincoat
that has four sleeves.

823
00:55:56,190 --> 00:56:00,810
<i>- Gets us through all kinds of weather.
- Aah!</i>

824
00:56:00,900 --> 00:56:06,150
She will always be
the only thing.

825
00:56:06,240 --> 00:56:10,740
That comes between me
and the awful sting.

826
00:56:10,820 --> 00:56:15,910
That comes from living in a
world that's so damn mean.

827
00:56:25,170 --> 00:56:29,300
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh.

828
00:56:43,770 --> 00:56:45,730
Hey!

829
00:56:45,820 --> 00:56:49,990
<i>La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la.</i>

830
00:56:50,070 --> 00:56:54,120
La-la, la-la, la-la.

831
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:58,040
There it is, Princess.

832
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:00,460
Your future awaits you.

833
00:57:00,540 --> 00:57:02,790
- That's DuLoc?
- Yeah, I know.

834
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,550
You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's
compensating for something,

835
00:57:05,630 --> 00:57:08,130
which I think means he
has a really... Ow!

836
00:57:08,220 --> 00:57:10,130
Um, I, uh...

837
00:57:10,220 --> 00:57:12,640
- I guess we better move on.
- Sure.

838
00:57:12,720 --> 00:57:14,810
But, Shrek?

839
00:57:14,890 --> 00:57:17,680
I'm... I'm worried about Donkey.

840
00:57:17,770 --> 00:57:20,140
- What?
- I mean, look at him.

841
00:57:20,230 --> 00:57:23,230
- He doesn't look so good.
- What are you talking about? I'm fine.

842
00:57:23,310 --> 00:57:28,320
That's what they always say, and then
next thing you know, you're on your back.

843
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,860
- Dead.
- You know, she's right.

844
00:57:30,950 --> 00:57:33,820
You look awful. Do you
want to sit down?

845
00:57:33,910 --> 00:57:36,620
- I'll make you some tea.
- I didn't want to say nothing,

846
00:57:36,700 --> 00:57:39,450
but I got this twinge in my neck, and
when I turn my head like this, look.

847
00:57:39,540 --> 00:57:41,460
Ow! See?

848
00:57:41,540 --> 00:57:44,140
- Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.
- I'll get the firewood.

849
00:57:44,210 --> 00:57:48,710
Hey, where you going? Oh,
man, I can't feel my toes!

850
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,300
I don't have any toes!

851
00:57:51,380 --> 00:57:53,720
I think I need a hug.

852
00:57:57,260 --> 00:57:59,520
Mmm.

853
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:03,560
Mmm. This is good.
This is really good.

854
00:58:05,770 --> 00:58:08,030
- What is this?
- Uh, Weedrat.

855
00:58:08,110 --> 00:58:10,240
Rotisserie style.

856
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,820
No kidding.

857
00:58:12,910 --> 00:58:14,820
Well, this is delicious.

858
00:58:14,910 --> 00:58:16,990
Well, they're also
great in stews.

859
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:21,330
Now, I don't mean to brag, but
I make a mean Weedrat stew.

860
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:29,170
I guess I'll be dining a
little differently tomorrow night.

861
00:58:29,250 --> 00:58:34,340
Maybe you can come visit
me in the swamp sometime.

862
00:58:34,430 --> 00:58:36,600
I'll cook all kinds
of stuff for you.

863
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:40,560
Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartar...
you name it.

864
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:43,770
I'd like that.

865
00:58:50,690 --> 00:58:53,900
See the pyramids
along the Nile.

866
00:58:53,990 --> 00:58:56,620
Um, Princess?

867
00:58:56,700 --> 00:59:00,950
<i>- Watch the sun rise from a tropic isle.
- Yes, Shrek?</i>

868
00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:04,870
<i>- I, um, I was wondering.
- Just remember, darling all the while.</i>

869
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:07,210
Are you...

870
00:59:07,290 --> 00:59:09,880
You belong to me.

871
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,760
Are you gonna eat that?

872
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:23,640
- Man, isn't this romantic? Just
look at that sunset. - Sunset?

873
00:59:23,730 --> 00:59:26,270
Oh, no! I mean, it's late.

874
00:59:26,350 --> 00:59:28,230
- I-It's very late.
- What?

875
00:59:28,310 --> 00:59:31,230
Wait a minute. I see
what's going on here.

876
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:34,280
- You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?
- Yes!

877
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:38,370
Yes, that's it. I'm terrified.
You know, I'd better go inside.

878
00:59:38,450 --> 00:59:41,790
Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to
be afraid of the dark, too, until...

879
00:59:41,870 --> 00:59:44,620
Hey, no, wait. I'm still
afraid of the dark.

880
00:59:44,710 --> 00:59:47,880
Good night.

881
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:51,000
Good night.

882
00:59:51,090 --> 00:59:54,130
Ohh!

883
00:59:54,210 --> 00:59:56,970
Now I really see
what's going on here.

884
00:59:57,050 --> 00:59:58,970
Oh, what are you
talking about?

885
00:59:59,050 --> 01:00:01,810
I don't even wanna hear it. Look,
I'm an animal, and I got instincts.

886
01:00:01,890 --> 01:00:04,310
I know you two were digging on each other.
I could feel it.

887
01:00:04,390 --> 01:00:07,230
You're crazy. I'm just
bringing her back to Farquaad.

888
01:00:07,310 --> 01:00:10,650
Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up
and smell the pheromones.

889
01:00:10,730 --> 01:00:13,400
- Just go on in and tell her how you feel.
- I...

890
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:17,490
There's nothing to tell. Besides,
even if I did tell her that,

891
01:00:17,570 --> 01:00:19,490
well, you know...

892
01:00:19,570 --> 01:00:23,080
and I'm not saying I
do 'cause I don't...

893
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,580
she's a princess, and I'm...

894
01:00:25,660 --> 01:00:28,330
An ogre?

895
01:00:28,420 --> 01:00:31,080
Yeah. An ogre.

896
01:00:31,170 --> 01:00:35,210
- Hey, where you going?
- To get... more firewood.

897
01:00:54,820 --> 01:00:56,150
Princess?

898
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:58,950
Princess Fiona?

899
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:06,040
Princess, where are you?

900
01:01:11,290 --> 01:01:13,790
Princess?

901
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:19,630
It's very spooky in here. I
am not playing no games.

902
01:01:29,850 --> 01:01:32,270
- Aah! Oh, no!
- No, help!

903
01:01:32,350 --> 01:01:35,440
- Shh! - Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
- No, it's okay. It's okay.

904
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:38,400
- What did you do with the princess?
- Donkey, I'm the princess.

905
01:01:38,490 --> 01:01:41,240
- Aah!
- It's me, in this body.

906
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:43,870
Oh, my God! You
ate the princess!

907
01:01:43,950 --> 01:01:45,870
- Can you hear me?
- Donkey!

908
01:01:45,950 --> 01:01:48,290
- Listen, keep breathing! I'll
get you out of there! - No!

909
01:01:48,370 --> 01:01:50,830
- Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
- Shh.

910
01:01:50,910 --> 01:01:52,750
- Shrek!
- This is me.

911
01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:00,760
Princess?

912
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:04,340
What happened to you?
You're, uh, uh,

913
01:02:04,430 --> 01:02:06,350
uh, different.

914
01:02:06,430 --> 01:02:08,680
- I'm ugly, okay?
- Well, yeah!

915
01:02:08,770 --> 01:02:11,890
Was it something you ate? 'Cause I
told Shrek those rats was a bad idea.

916
01:02:11,980 --> 01:02:14,520
- You are what you eat, I said. Now...
- No.

917
01:02:14,610 --> 01:02:17,940
I... I've been this way
as long as I can remember.

918
01:02:18,030 --> 01:02:20,490
What do you mean? Look, I am not
never seen you like this before.

919
01:02:20,570 --> 01:02:23,740
It only happens when
the sun goes down.

920
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:28,790
By night one way,
by day another.

921
01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:30,910
This shall be the norm...

922
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:34,120
until you find true
love's first kiss...

923
01:02:34,210 --> 01:02:38,630
and then take
love's true form.

924
01:02:38,710 --> 01:02:42,260
Ah, that's beautiful. I
didn't know you wrote poetry.

925
01:02:42,340 --> 01:02:44,260
It's a spell.

926
01:02:44,340 --> 01:02:46,930
When I was a little girl,

927
01:02:47,010 --> 01:02:49,680
a witch cast a spell on me.

928
01:02:49,770 --> 01:02:52,310
Every night I become this.

929
01:02:52,390 --> 01:02:56,060
This horrible, ugly beast!

930
01:02:58,570 --> 01:03:03,610
I was placed in a tower to await the
day my true love would rescue me.

931
01:03:03,700 --> 01:03:06,280
That's why I have to marry
Lord Farquaad tomorrow...

932
01:03:06,370 --> 01:03:09,790
before the sun sets
and he sees me...

933
01:03:11,040 --> 01:03:14,000
like this.

934
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:17,330
All right, all right. Calm down.
Look, it's not that bad.

935
01:03:17,420 --> 01:03:21,590
You're not that ugly. Well, I
am not gonna lie. You are ugly.

936
01:03:21,670 --> 01:03:24,680
But you only look like this at night.
Shrek's ugly 24-7.

937
01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:28,140
But, Donkey, I'm a princess,

938
01:03:28,220 --> 01:03:31,810
and this is not how a
princess is meant to look.

939
01:03:31,890 --> 01:03:35,640
Princess, how about if you
don't marry Farquaad?

940
01:03:35,730 --> 01:03:37,650
I have to.

941
01:03:37,730 --> 01:03:40,570
Only my true love's kiss
can break the spell.

942
01:03:40,650 --> 01:03:44,190
But, you know, um,
you're kind of an ogre,

943
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:47,700
and Shrek... well, you
got a lot in common.

944
01:03:47,780 --> 01:03:49,280
Shrek?

945
01:03:49,370 --> 01:03:53,200
Princess, I... Uh, how's
it going, first of all?

946
01:03:53,290 --> 01:03:56,080
Good? Um, good for me too.

947
01:03:56,170 --> 01:03:58,080
I'm okay.

948
01:03:58,170 --> 01:04:03,050
I saw this flower and thought of
you because it's pretty and...

949
01:04:03,130 --> 01:04:07,380
well, I don't really like it, but I thought
you might like it 'cause you're pretty.

950
01:04:07,470 --> 01:04:10,680
But I like you anyway.
I'd... uh, uh...

951
01:04:12,850 --> 01:04:16,390
I'm in trouble.
Okay, here we go.

952
01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:18,980
<i>I can't just marry whoever I want.</i>

953
01:04:19,060 --> 01:04:21,360
Take a good look
at me, Donkey.

954
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,360
I mean, really,

955
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:26,110
who could ever love a beast
so hideous and ugly?

956
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,610
Princess and ugly
don't go together.

957
01:04:28,700 --> 01:04:31,120
That's why I can't stay here with Shrek.

958
01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:35,620
My only chance to live happily ever
after is to marry my truelove.

959
01:04:35,700 --> 01:04:39,120
Don't you see, Donkey?

960
01:04:39,210 --> 01:04:42,500
That's just how it has to be.

961
01:04:42,590 --> 01:04:45,630
It's the only way
to break the spell.

962
01:04:45,710 --> 01:04:48,470
- You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.
- No!

963
01:04:48,550 --> 01:04:51,470
You can't breathe a word.
No one must ever know.

964
01:04:51,550 --> 01:04:53,680
What's the point of being able to
talk if you gotta keep secrets?

965
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:56,890
Promise you won't tell.
Promise!

966
01:04:56,980 --> 01:05:00,060
All right, all right. I won't tell him.
But you should.

967
01:05:00,150 --> 01:05:03,150
I just know before this is over, I'm gonna
need a whole lot of serious therapy.

968
01:05:03,230 --> 01:05:06,780
Look at my eye twitching.

969
01:05:29,470 --> 01:05:33,220
I tell him, I tell him not.

970
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:37,680
I tell him, I tell him not.

971
01:05:37,770 --> 01:05:39,690
I tell him.

972
01:05:39,770 --> 01:05:41,850
Shrek!

973
01:05:41,940 --> 01:05:44,480
Shrek, there's
something I want...

974
01:06:05,290 --> 01:06:07,500
Shrek.

975
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:10,970
- Are you all right?
- Perfect!

976
01:06:11,050 --> 01:06:13,010
Never been better.

977
01:06:13,090 --> 01:06:16,390
I... I don't... There's
something I have to tell you.

978
01:06:16,470 --> 01:06:19,020
You don't have to tell
me anything, Princess.

979
01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:21,190
- I heard enough last night.
- You heard what I said?

980
01:06:21,270 --> 01:06:23,190
Every word.

981
01:06:23,270 --> 01:06:25,440
I thought you'd understand.

982
01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:27,440
Oh, I understand.

983
01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:31,110
Like you said, Who could
love a hideous, ugly beast?

984
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:33,860
But I thought that
wouldn't matter to you.

985
01:06:33,950 --> 01:06:35,700
Yeah? Well, it does.

986
01:06:38,290 --> 01:06:40,500
Ah, right on time.

987
01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:43,460
Princess, I've brought
you a little something.

988
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:51,550
What'd I miss? What'd I miss?

989
01:06:51,630 --> 01:06:54,260
Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey.

990
01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:58,100
Princess Fiona.

991
01:06:58,180 --> 01:07:00,890
As promised. Now hand it over.

992
01:07:00,970 --> 01:07:05,230
Very well, ogre. The deed to your
swamp, cleared out, as agreed.

993
01:07:05,310 --> 01:07:09,860
Take it and go before
I change my mind.

994
01:07:09,940 --> 01:07:12,780
Forgive me, Princess,
for startling you,

995
01:07:12,860 --> 01:07:14,780
but you startled me,

996
01:07:14,860 --> 01:07:18,530
for I have never seen such
a radiant beauty before.

997
01:07:18,620 --> 01:07:21,620
I am Lord Farquaad.

998
01:07:21,700 --> 01:07:25,580
Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no.

999
01:07:27,151 --> 01:07:28,630
Forgive me, my Lord, for
I was just saying...

1000
01:07:28,710 --> 01:07:34,170
a short... farewell.

1001
01:07:34,260 --> 01:07:38,890
That is so sweet. You don't have
to waste good manners on the ogre.

1002
01:07:38,970 --> 01:07:40,890
It's not like it has feelings.

1003
01:07:40,970 --> 01:07:44,940
No, you're right. It doesn't.

1004
01:07:45,020 --> 01:07:49,020
Princess Fiona, beautiful,
fair, flawless Fiona.

1005
01:07:49,110 --> 01:07:52,110
I ask your hand in marriage.

1006
01:07:52,190 --> 01:07:57,240
Will you be the perfect bride
for the perfect groom?

1007
01:08:00,530 --> 01:08:05,710
Lord Farquaad, I accept.
Nothing would make...

1008
01:08:05,790 --> 01:08:08,960
Excellent! I'll start the
plans, for tomorrow we wed!

1009
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:10,960
No! I mean, uh,

1010
01:08:11,040 --> 01:08:13,420
why wait?

1011
01:08:13,510 --> 01:08:17,340
Let's get married today
before the sun sets.

1012
01:08:17,430 --> 01:08:20,140
Oh, anxious, are we?
You're right.

1013
01:08:20,220 --> 01:08:24,140
The sooner, the better.
There's so much to do!

1014
01:08:24,220 --> 01:08:26,560
There's the caterer, the cake,
the band, the guest list.

1015
01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:29,650
Captain, round up some guests!

1016
01:08:29,730 --> 01:08:32,440
Fare-thee-well, ogre.

1017
01:08:32,520 --> 01:08:35,110
Shrek, what are you doing?
You're letting her get away.

1018
01:08:35,190 --> 01:08:36,539
Yeah? So what?

1019
01:08:36,552 --> 01:08:37,911
Shrek, there's something
about her you don't know.

1020
01:08:37,990 --> 01:08:40,410
Look, I talked to her last night.
She's...

1021
01:08:40,490 --> 01:08:44,540
I know you talked to her last night.
You're great pals, aren't ya?

1022
01:08:44,620 --> 01:08:48,370
Now, if you two are such good friends,
why don't you follow her home?

1023
01:08:48,460 --> 01:08:50,420
Shrek, I... I wanna
go with you.

1024
01:08:50,500 --> 01:08:53,460
I told you, didn't I? You're
not coming home with me.

1025
01:08:53,550 --> 01:08:57,510
I live alone! My swamp!
Me! Nobody else!

1026
01:08:57,590 --> 01:08:59,680
Understand? Nobody!

1027
01:08:59,760 --> 01:09:04,600
Especially useless, pathetic,
annoying, talking donkeys!

1028
01:09:04,680 --> 01:09:07,850
- But I thought...
- Yeah. You know what?

1029
01:09:07,940 --> 01:09:10,150
You thought wrong!

1030
01:09:11,900 --> 01:09:13,820
Shrek.

1031
01:09:19,610 --> 01:09:23,620
I heard there was
a secret chord.

1032
01:09:23,700 --> 01:09:26,750
That David played and
it pleased the Lord.

1033
01:09:26,830 --> 01:09:31,670
But you don't really
care for music, do ya.

1034
01:09:33,420 --> 01:09:36,760
It goes like this the
fourth, the fifth.

1035
01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:39,380
The minor fall the major lift.

1036
01:09:39,470 --> 01:09:46,100
The baffled king
composing hallelujah.

1037
01:09:46,180 --> 01:09:49,430
Hallelujah.

1038
01:09:49,520 --> 01:09:52,940
Hallelujah.

1039
01:09:53,020 --> 01:09:56,940
Hallelujah.

1040
01:09:57,030 --> 01:10:01,780
Hallelujah.

1041
01:10:03,700 --> 01:10:07,200
Baby, I've been here before

1042
01:10:07,290 --> 01:10:10,410
I know this room I've
walked this floor

1043
01:10:10,500 --> 01:10:15,590
I used to live alone
before I knew you

1044
01:10:17,300 --> 01:10:20,380
I've seen your flag
on the marble arch.

1045
01:10:20,470 --> 01:10:23,800
But love is not a
victory march.

1046
01:10:23,890 --> 01:10:28,310
It's a cold and it's
a broken hallelujah.

1047
01:10:29,930 --> 01:10:33,060
Hallelujah.

1048
01:10:33,150 --> 01:10:36,270
Hallelujah.

1049
01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:39,400
Hallelujah.

1050
01:10:39,480 --> 01:10:40,160
Hallelujah.

1051
01:10:46,740 --> 01:10:50,580
And all I ever
learned from love

1052
01:10:50,660 --> 01:10:53,040
I show to shoot at someone.

1053
01:10:53,120 --> 01:10:55,710
<i>Who outdrew you.</i>

1054
01:10:55,790 --> 01:10:59,510
And it's not a cry you
can hear at night.

1055
01:10:59,590 --> 01:11:02,630
It's not somebody
who's seen the light.

1056
01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:09,770
<i>It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.</i>

1057
01:11:09,850 --> 01:11:12,640
Hallelujah.

1058
01:11:12,730 --> 01:11:15,980
Hallelujah.

1059
01:11:16,060 --> 01:11:19,320
Hallelujah.

1060
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:20,080
Hallelujah.

1061
01:11:34,290 --> 01:11:36,290
Donkey?

1062
01:11:36,380 --> 01:11:38,590
What are you doing?

1063
01:11:38,670 --> 01:11:41,630
I would think, of all people, you would
recognise a wall when you see one.

1064
01:11:41,710 --> 01:11:43,630
Well, yeah.

1065
01:11:43,720 --> 01:11:47,090
But the wall's supposed to go
around my swamp, not through it.

1066
01:11:47,180 --> 01:11:49,970
It is around your half. See, that's
your half, and this is my half.

1067
01:11:50,060 --> 01:11:52,640
Oh! Your half. Hmm.

1068
01:11:52,720 --> 01:11:55,270
Yes, my half. I helped
rescue the princess.

1069
01:11:55,350 --> 01:11:57,600
I did half the work, I
get half the Booty.

1070
01:11:57,690 --> 01:12:01,020
Now hand me that big old rock, the
one that looks like your head.

1071
01:12:01,110 --> 01:12:03,440
- Back off!
- No, you back off.

1072
01:12:03,530 --> 01:12:05,530
- This is my swamp!
- Our swamp.

1073
01:12:05,610 --> 01:12:07,530
- Let go, Donkey!
- You let go.

1074
01:12:07,610 --> 01:12:09,580
- Stubborn jackass!
- Smelly ogre.

1075
01:12:09,660 --> 01:12:11,870
Fine!

1076
01:12:11,950 --> 01:12:13,608
Hey, come back here. I'm
not through with you yet.

1077
01:12:13,621 --> 01:12:15,290
Well, I'm through with you.

1078
01:12:15,370 --> 01:12:18,630
Uh-uh. You know, with you
it's always, Me, me, me!

1079
01:12:18,710 --> 01:12:21,300
Well, guess what!
Now it's my turn!

1080
01:12:21,380 --> 01:12:23,510
So you just shut up
and pay attention!

1081
01:12:23,590 --> 01:12:25,550
You are mean to me.

1082
01:12:25,630 --> 01:12:28,140
You insult me and you don't
appreciate anything that I do!

1083
01:12:28,220 --> 01:12:31,310
You're always pushing me
around or pushing me away.

1084
01:12:31,390 --> 01:12:35,230
Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you
so bad, how come you came back?

1085
01:12:35,310 --> 01:12:38,520
Because that's what friends do!
They forgive each other!

1086
01:12:38,600 --> 01:12:41,820
Oh, yeah. You're
right, Donkey.

1087
01:12:41,900 --> 01:12:46,110
I forgive you... for
stabbing me in the back!

1088
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:51,620
Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion
boy, you're afraid of your own feelings.

1089
01:12:51,700 --> 01:12:55,160
- Go away! - There you are, doing it
again just like you did to Fiona.

1090
01:12:55,250 --> 01:12:57,830
All she ever do was like
you, maybe even love you.

1091
01:12:57,920 --> 01:13:02,040
Love me? She said I was
ugly, a hideous creature.

1092
01:13:02,130 --> 01:13:04,050
I heard the two
of you talking.

1093
01:13:04,130 --> 01:13:06,050
She wasn't talking about you.

1094
01:13:06,130 --> 01:13:08,470
She was talking about,
uh, somebody else.

1095
01:13:11,010 --> 01:13:13,430
She wasn't talking about me?

1096
01:13:13,510 --> 01:13:15,810
Well, then who was
she talking about?

1097
01:13:15,890 --> 01:13:18,689
Uh-uh, no way. I am not saying anything.
You don't wanna listen to me.

1098
01:13:18,690 --> 01:13:20,980
- Right? Right?
- Donkey!

1099
01:13:21,060 --> 01:13:23,610
- No!
- Okay, look.

1100
01:13:23,690 --> 01:13:25,610
I'm sorry, all right?

1101
01:13:27,240 --> 01:13:29,150
Hmph.

1102
01:13:30,490 --> 01:13:34,120
I'm sorry.

1103
01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:38,460
I guess I am just a
big, stupid, ugly ogre.

1104
01:13:39,670 --> 01:13:41,630
Can you forgive me?

1105
01:13:43,840 --> 01:13:45,750
Hey, that's what friends
are for, right?

1106
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:48,510
Right. Friends?

1107
01:13:48,590 --> 01:13:50,510
Friends.

1108
01:13:50,590 --> 01:13:53,550
So, um,

1109
01:13:53,640 --> 01:13:55,890
what did Fiona say about me?

1110
01:13:55,970 --> 01:13:59,100
What are you asking me for? Why
don't you just go ask her?

1111
01:13:59,180 --> 01:14:02,190
The wedding! We'll
never make it in time.

1112
01:14:02,270 --> 01:14:05,480
Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where
there's a will, there's a way,

1113
01:14:05,570 --> 01:14:07,690
and I have a way.

1114
01:14:12,070 --> 01:14:14,530
Donkey?

1115
01:14:14,620 --> 01:14:16,990
I guess it's just my
animal magnetism.

1116
01:14:17,080 --> 01:14:20,250
Aw, come here, you.

1117
01:14:20,330 --> 01:14:21,718
All right, all right.
Don't get all slobbery.

1118
01:14:21,731 --> 01:14:23,130
No one likes a kiss ass.

1119
01:14:23,210 --> 01:14:25,750
All right, hop on
and hold on tight.

1120
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:29,340
I haven't had a chance to
install the seat belts yet.

1121
01:14:35,760 --> 01:14:38,270
Wooh!

1122
01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:03,540
People of DuLoc,

1123
01:15:03,620 --> 01:15:06,290
we gather here today...

1124
01:15:06,380 --> 01:15:08,420
to bear witness...

1125
01:15:08,500 --> 01:15:10,420
- to the union...
- Um...

1126
01:15:10,510 --> 01:15:12,970
- of our new king...
- Excuse me.

1127
01:15:13,050 --> 01:15:15,720
Could we just skip ahead to the I do's?

1128
01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:17,720
Go on.

1129
01:15:22,770 --> 01:15:26,400
Go ahead, have some fun. If we need
you, I'll whistle. How about that?

1130
01:15:29,020 --> 01:15:30,940
Shrek, wait, wait!
Wait a minute!

1131
01:15:31,030 --> 01:15:33,700
- You wanna do this right, don't you?
- What are you talking about?

1132
01:15:33,780 --> 01:15:35,700
There's a line you
gotta wait for.

1133
01:15:35,780 --> 01:15:38,280
The preacher's gonna say, Speak
now or forever hold your peace.

1134
01:15:38,370 --> 01:15:42,120
- That's when you say, I object!
- I don't have time for this!

1135
01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:43,910
Wait. What are you doing?
Listen to me!

1136
01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:45,920
- Look, you love this woman, don't you?
- Yes.

1137
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:47,290
- You wanna hold her?
- Yes.

1138
01:15:47,380 --> 01:15:49,590
- Please her?
- Yes!

1139
01:15:49,670 --> 01:15:52,300
Then you got to, got to
try a little tenderness.

1140
01:15:52,380 --> 01:15:55,130
- The chicks love that romantic crap!
- All right! Cut it out.

1141
01:15:55,220 --> 01:15:58,850
- When does this guy say the line?
- We gotta check it out.

1142
01:15:58,930 --> 01:16:02,100
And so, by the power vested in me,

1143
01:16:02,180 --> 01:16:05,440
- What do you see?
- The whole town's in there.

1144
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:08,650
- I now pronounce you husband and wife,
- They're at the altar.

1145
01:16:08,730 --> 01:16:11,280
- King and queen.
- Mother Fletcher! He already said it.

1146
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:13,990
Oh, for the love of Pete!

1147
01:16:15,240 --> 01:16:17,280
I object!

1148
01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:19,450
Shrek?

1149
01:16:19,530 --> 01:16:21,450
Oh, now what does he want?

1150
01:16:25,040 --> 01:16:28,080
Hi, everyone. Having
a good time, are ya?

1151
01:16:28,170 --> 01:16:30,380
I love DuLoc, first of all.

1152
01:16:30,460 --> 01:16:32,960
- Very clean.
- What are you doing here?

1153
01:16:33,050 --> 01:16:35,970
Really, it's rude enough being
alive when no one wants you,

1154
01:16:36,050 --> 01:16:39,390
- but showing up uninvited to a wedding...
- Fiona!

1155
01:16:39,470 --> 01:16:42,470
- I need to talk to you.
- Oh, now you wanna talk?

1156
01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:45,520
It's a little late for that,
so if you'll excuse me...

1157
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:47,980
- But you can't marry him.
- And why not?

1158
01:16:48,060 --> 01:16:51,940
Because... Because he's just
marrying you so he can be king.

1159
01:16:52,020 --> 01:16:54,400
Outrageous! Fiona,
don't listen to him.

1160
01:16:54,480 --> 01:16:58,110
- He's not your true love.
- And what do you know about true love?

1161
01:16:58,200 --> 01:17:00,570
Well, I... Uh...

1162
01:17:00,660 --> 01:17:04,040
- I mean...
- Oh, this is precious.

1163
01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:08,790
The ogre has fallen
in love with the princess!

1164
01:17:08,870 --> 01:17:11,130
Oh, good Lord.

1165
01:17:11,210 --> 01:17:13,130
An ogre and a princess!

1166
01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:21,260
Shrek, is this true?

1167
01:17:22,680 --> 01:17:25,220
Who cares? It's preposterous!

1168
01:17:25,310 --> 01:17:28,940
Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss
away from our happily ever after.

1169
01:17:29,020 --> 01:17:31,610
Now kiss me! Mmmm!

1170
01:17:35,690 --> 01:17:39,030
By night one way,
by day another.

1171
01:17:40,950 --> 01:17:43,700
I wanted to show you before.

1172
01:18:06,270 --> 01:18:08,810
Well, uh,

1173
01:18:08,890 --> 01:18:10,890
that explains a lot.

1174
01:18:10,980 --> 01:18:14,650
Ugh! It's disgusting!

1175
01:18:14,730 --> 01:18:16,780
Guards! Guards!

1176
01:18:16,860 --> 01:18:20,030
I order you to get that out
of my sight now! Get them!

1177
01:18:20,110 --> 01:18:22,910
- Get them both!
- No, no!

1178
01:18:22,990 --> 01:18:24,853
This hocus-pocus alters nothing.

1179
01:18:24,866 --> 01:18:26,740
Marriage is binding, and
that makes me king!

1180
01:18:26,830 --> 01:18:29,120
- See? See?
- No, let go of me! Shrek!

1181
01:18:29,200 --> 01:18:30,910
- No!
- Don't just stand there, you morons.

1182
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:33,540
Get out of my way! Fiona!

1183
01:18:36,210 --> 01:18:38,710
Arrgh!

1184
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:41,800
I'll make you regret the day we met.
I'll see you drawn and quartered!

1185
01:18:41,880 --> 01:18:44,800
- You'll beg for death to save you!
- No! Shrek!

1186
01:18:44,890 --> 01:18:48,390
- And as for you, my wife,
- Fiona!

1187
01:18:48,470 --> 01:18:51,140
I'll have you locked back in that
tower for the rest of your days!

1188
01:18:51,230 --> 01:18:53,060
I am king!

1189
01:18:53,150 --> 01:18:56,940
I will have order! I will have perfection!
I will have...

1190
01:18:58,230 --> 01:19:01,280
Aaah!

1191
01:19:01,360 --> 01:19:04,110
- Aah!
- All right. Nobody move.

1192
01:19:04,200 --> 01:19:06,280
I got a dragon here, and
I'm not afraid to use it.

1193
01:19:06,370 --> 01:19:08,990
I'm a donkey on the edge!

1194
01:19:13,670 --> 01:19:16,080
Celebrity marriages. They
never last, do they?

1195
01:19:18,250 --> 01:19:20,090
Go ahead, Shrek.

1196
01:19:21,470 --> 01:19:23,760
Uh, Fiona?

1197
01:19:24,890 --> 01:19:27,100
Yes, Shrek?

1198
01:19:27,180 --> 01:19:31,230
I... I love you.

1199
01:19:31,310 --> 01:19:33,560
Really?

1200
01:19:34,650 --> 01:19:37,650
Really, really.

1201
01:19:37,730 --> 01:19:39,650
I love you too.

1202
01:19:45,110 --> 01:19:46,780
Aawww!

1203
01:19:48,700 --> 01:19:51,950
Until you find truelove's first kiss...

1204
01:19:52,040 --> 01:19:55,330
and then take love's true form.

1205
01:20:18,900 --> 01:20:21,820
Take love's true form.
Take love's true form.

1206
01:20:27,990 --> 01:20:30,490
Fiona?

1207
01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:35,580
Fiona.

1208
01:20:35,660 --> 01:20:38,210
Are you all right?

1209
01:20:38,290 --> 01:20:40,210
Well, yes.

1210
01:20:40,290 --> 01:20:43,550
But I don't understand.

1211
01:20:43,630 --> 01:20:45,760
I'm supposed to be beautiful.

1212
01:20:48,470 --> 01:20:50,720
But you are beautiful.

1213
01:20:53,270 --> 01:20:55,730
I was hoping this would
be a happy ending.

1214
01:20:59,520 --> 01:21:03,940
<i>I thought love was only
true in fairy tales</i>

1215
01:21:04,030 --> 01:21:05,490
Oy!

1216
01:21:05,570 --> 01:21:09,280
<i>Meant for someone
else but not for me.</i>

1217
01:21:11,700 --> 01:21:14,660
<i>Love was out to get me.</i>

1218
01:21:14,750 --> 01:21:17,540
<i>That's the way it seemed.</i>

1219
01:21:17,620 --> 01:21:22,090
<i>Disappointment haunted
all my dreams.</i>

1220
01:21:22,170 --> 01:21:25,460
<i>And then I saw her face.</i>

1221
01:21:25,550 --> 01:21:28,340
<i>Now I'm a believer.</i>

1222
01:21:28,430 --> 01:21:30,970
<i>And not a trace.</i>

1223
01:21:31,050 --> 01:21:33,810
<i>Of doubt in my mind.</i>

1224
01:21:33,890 --> 01:21:37,940
<i>- I'm in love.
- Ooh-ahh.</i>

1225
01:21:38,020 --> 01:21:40,480
<i>I'm a believer I
couldn't leave her.</i>

1226
01:21:40,560 --> 01:21:42,770
<i>If I tried</i>

1227
01:21:42,860 --> 01:21:46,900
God bless us, every one.

1228
01:21:46,990 --> 01:21:50,530
Come on, y'all! Then I
saw her face Ha-ha!

1229
01:21:50,610 --> 01:21:53,740
Now I'm a believer Listen!

1230
01:21:53,830 --> 01:21:56,620
Not a trace.

1231
01:21:56,700 --> 01:21:59,500
Of doubt in my mind

1232
01:21:59,580 --> 01:22:02,840
I'm in love Ooh-ahh

1233
01:22:02,920 --> 01:22:07,170
I'm a believer I couldn't
leave her if I tried.

1234
01:22:07,260 --> 01:22:10,130
- Ooh!
- Uh!

1235
01:22:10,220 --> 01:22:12,800
Then I saw her face.

1236
01:22:12,890 --> 01:22:15,850
Now I'm a believer Hey!

1237
01:22:15,930 --> 01:22:18,730
Not a trace Uhh! Yeah.

1238
01:22:18,810 --> 01:22:22,060
Of doubt in my mind
One more time!

1239
01:22:22,150 --> 01:22:26,690
I'm in love I'm a believer.

1240
01:22:26,780 --> 01:22:28,610
Come on!

1241
01:22:28,690 --> 01:22:30,610
I believe, I believe
I believe, I believe

1242
01:22:30,700 --> 01:22:33,370
I believe, I believe I believe,
I believe, I believe, hey.

1243
01:22:33,450 --> 01:22:36,030
Y'all sing it with me! I.

1244
01:22:36,120 --> 01:22:37,790
Believe

1245
01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:40,830
I believe People in the back!

1246
01:22:40,910 --> 01:22:43,830
- I believe.
- I'm a believer

1247
01:22:43,920 --> 01:22:46,880
I believe

1248
01:22:46,960 --> 01:22:49,840
I believe

1249
01:22:49,920 --> 01:22:54,340
I believe.

1250
01:22:56,760 --> 01:22:59,020
Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh.

1251
01:22:59,100 --> 01:23:01,730
<i>I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.</i>

1252
01:23:02,640 --> 01:23:04,940
<i>I believe in self-assertion.</i>

1253
01:23:05,020 --> 01:23:07,190
<i>Destiny or as light diversion.</i>

1254
01:23:07,270 --> 01:23:11,570
<i>Now it seems I've got
my head on straight.</i>

1255
01:23:11,650 --> 01:23:13,780
<i>I'm a freak an apparition.</i>

1256
01:23:13,860 --> 01:23:15,990
<i>Seems I've made the
right decision.</i>

1257
01:23:16,070 --> 01:23:19,700
<i>To try to turn back now
it might be too late.</i>

1258
01:23:19,790 --> 01:23:24,120
<i>- I want to stay home today.
- Don't wanna go out.</i>

1259
01:23:24,210 --> 01:23:28,550
<i>- If anyone comes to play.
- Gonna get thrown out.</i>

1260
01:23:28,630 --> 01:23:32,970
<i>- I wanna stay home today.
- Don't want no company.</i>

1261
01:23:33,050 --> 01:23:35,510
<i>No way.</i>

1262
01:23:35,590 --> 01:23:38,260
<i>Yeah, yeah, yeah.</i>

1263
01:23:38,350 --> 01:23:40,560
<i>I wanna be a
millionaire some day.</i>

1264
01:23:40,640 --> 01:23:42,810
<i>But know what it feels
like to give it away.</i>

1265
01:23:42,890 --> 01:23:46,310
<i>Watch me march to the
beat of my own drum.</i>

1266
01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:48,980
<i>And it's off to the moon
and then back again.</i>

1267
01:23:49,070 --> 01:23:51,150
<i>Same old day Same situation.</i>

1268
01:23:51,240 --> 01:23:55,410
<i>My happiness rears
back as if to say.</i>

1269
01:23:55,490 --> 01:23:59,790
<i>- I wanna stay home today.
- Don't wanna go out.</i>

1270
01:23:59,870 --> 01:24:04,250
<i>- If anyone comes my way.
- Gonna get thrown out.</i>

1271
01:24:04,330 --> 01:24:08,750
<i>- I wanna stay home today.
- Don't want no company.</i>

1272
01:24:08,840 --> 01:24:11,300
<i>No way.</i>

1273
01:24:11,380 --> 01:24:14,010
<i>Yeah, yeah, yeah.</i>

1274
01:24:17,850 --> 01:24:22,680
<i>I wanna stay home
stay home, stay home.</i>

1275
01:24:22,770 --> 01:24:27,810
<i>- I wanna stay home today.
- Don't wanna go out.</i>

1276
01:24:27,900 --> 01:24:32,190
<i>- If anyone comes to play.
- Gonna get thrown out.</i>

1277
01:24:32,280 --> 01:24:35,110
<i>I wanna stay home today.</i>

1278
01:24:35,200 --> 01:24:39,200
<i>Don't want no company No way.</i>

1279
01:24:39,280 --> 01:24:42,120
<i>Yeah, yeah, yeah.</i>

1280
01:24:55,920 --> 01:24:59,890
<i>I get such a thrill when
you looking my eyes.</i>

1281
01:24:59,970 --> 01:25:04,140
<i>My heart skips a beat
Girl, I feel so alive.</i>

1282
01:25:04,220 --> 01:25:07,980
<i>Please tell me, baby
if all this is true.</i>

1283
01:25:08,060 --> 01:25:12,150
<i>'Cause deep down inside
all I wanted was you.</i>

1284
01:25:12,230 --> 01:25:16,150
<i>Oh-oh-oh Makes me wanna dance.</i>

1285
01:25:16,240 --> 01:25:20,120
<i>Oh-oh-oh It's a new romance.</i>

1286
01:25:20,200 --> 01:25:24,160
<i>Oh-oh-oh I look
into your eyes.</i>

1287
01:25:24,240 --> 01:25:28,120
<i>Oh-oh-oh The best
years of our lives.</i>

1288
01:25:28,210 --> 01:25:32,000
<i>When we first met I
could hardly believe.</i>

1289
01:25:32,090 --> 01:25:36,050
<i>The things that would happen
and we could achieve.</i>

1290
01:25:36,130 --> 01:25:39,840
<i>So let's be together
for all of our time.</i>

1291
01:25:39,930 --> 01:25:43,810
<i>Oh, girl, I'm so thankful
that you are still mine.</i>

1292
01:25:43,890 --> 01:25:45,970
<i>You always consider me
like an ugly duckling.</i>

1293
01:25:46,060 --> 01:25:48,599
<i>And treat me like a Nostradamus
was why I had to get my shine on.</i>

1294
01:25:48,600 --> 01:25:50,650
<i>I break a little something
to keep my mind on.</i>

1295
01:25:50,730 --> 01:25:53,150
<i>'Cause you had my mind
gone Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh.</i>

1296
01:25:53,230 --> 01:25:56,070
<i>Turn the lights on, Come on,
baby Let's just rewind the song.</i>

1297
01:25:56,150 --> 01:25:58,280
<i>'Cause all I want to do is make
the rest years the best years.</i>

1298
01:25:58,360 --> 01:26:00,360
<i>All night long.</i>

1299
01:26:00,450 --> 01:26:04,160
<i>- Oh-oh-oh, makes me wanna dance.
- Makes me wanna dance.</i>

1300
01:26:04,240 --> 01:26:08,160
<i>- Oh-oh-oh, it's a new romance.
- It's a new romance.</i>

1301
01:26:08,250 --> 01:26:11,420
<i>- Oh-oh-oh, I look into your eyes.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.</i>

1302
01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:14,170
<i>- Look into your eyes.
- Oh-oh-oh.</i>

1303
01:26:14,250 --> 01:26:16,459
<i>- The best years of our lives.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.</i>

1304
01:26:16,460 --> 01:26:20,180
<i>- Oh-oh-oh, makes me wanna dance.
- Whoa-oh-oh, dance, yeah.</i>

1305
01:26:20,260 --> 01:26:24,180
<i>Oh-oh-oh It's a new romance.</i>

1306
01:26:24,260 --> 01:26:28,230
<i>- Oh-oh-oh, I look into your eyes.
- Look into your eyes, yeah.</i>

1307
01:26:28,310 --> 01:26:32,940
<i>Oh-oh-oh The best
years of our lives.</i>

1308
01:26:33,020 --> 01:26:35,860
<i>Everything looks bright.</i>

1309
01:26:35,940 --> 01:26:38,190
<i>Standing in your light.</i>

1310
01:26:38,280 --> 01:26:40,610
<i>Everything feels right.</i>

1311
01:26:40,700 --> 01:26:43,780
<i>What's left is out of sight.</i>

1312
01:26:43,870 --> 01:26:48,450
<i>What's a girl to do I'm telling
you, you're on my mind.</i>

1313
01:26:48,540 --> 01:26:51,120
<i>I wanna be with you.</i>

1314
01:26:51,210 --> 01:26:53,500
<i>'Cause when you're
standing next to me.</i>

1315
01:26:53,580 --> 01:26:55,500
<i>It's like wow.</i>

1316
01:26:55,590 --> 01:26:58,710
<i>And all your kisses
seem to set me free.</i>

1317
01:26:58,800 --> 01:27:00,630
<i>It's like wow.</i>

1318
01:27:00,720 --> 01:27:04,050
<i>And when we touch it's such
a rush, I can't get enough.</i>

1319
01:27:04,140 --> 01:27:06,810
<i>It's like... It's
like Ooh-ooh.</i>

1320
01:27:06,890 --> 01:27:09,430
<i>Hey, what.</i>

1321
01:27:09,520 --> 01:27:12,810
<i>It's like wow Ooh-ooh, hey.</i>

1322
01:27:12,900 --> 01:27:16,150
<i>Hey, yeah It's like wow.</i>

1323
01:27:16,230 --> 01:27:19,860
<i>Everything is looking
right now, right now.</i>

1324
01:27:19,940 --> 01:27:23,160
<i>- It's like wow.
- And I got this feeling.</i>

1325
01:27:23,240 --> 01:27:26,120
<i>This feeling it's
just like wow.</i>

1326
01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:28,450
<i>It's just like wow.</i>

1327
01:27:28,540 --> 01:27:30,500
<i>- You are all I'm thinking of.
- Like wow.</i>

1328
01:27:30,580 --> 01:27:34,960
<i>Everything feels right
Everything feels right.</i>

1329
01:27:35,040 --> 01:27:37,460
<i>- Like wow.
- Everything looks bright.</i>

1330
01:27:37,540 --> 01:27:40,130
<i>All my senses are right.</i>

1331
01:27:40,210 --> 01:27:42,590
<i>- Like wow.
- Everything feels right.</i>

1332
01:27:42,670 --> 01:27:46,010
<i>Baby, baby, baby the
way I'm feeling you.</i>

1333
01:27:46,090 --> 01:27:48,010
<i>Is like wow</i>

1334
01:28:08,620 --> 01:28:12,160
<i>There is something that I see.</i>

1335
01:28:12,250 --> 01:28:15,670
<i>In the way you look at me.</i>

1336
01:28:15,750 --> 01:28:19,170
<i>There's a smile
There's a truth.</i>

1337
01:28:19,250 --> 01:28:22,670
<i>In your eyes.</i>

1338
01:28:22,760 --> 01:28:26,090
<i>What an unexpected way.</i>

1339
01:28:26,180 --> 01:28:29,560
<i>On this unexpected day.</i>

1340
01:28:29,640 --> 01:28:31,560
<i>Could it be.</i>

1341
01:28:31,640 --> 01:28:36,560
<i>This is where I belong.</i>

1342
01:28:36,650 --> 01:28:40,020
<i>It is you I have loved.</i>

1343
01:28:40,110 --> 01:28:43,110
<i>All along.</i>

1344
01:28:43,190 --> 01:28:46,910
<i>There's no more mystery.</i>

1345
01:28:46,990 --> 01:28:50,450
<i>It is finally clear to me.</i>

1346
01:28:50,530 --> 01:28:54,200
<i>You're the home my
heart's searched for.</i>

1347
01:28:54,290 --> 01:28:57,290
<i>So long.</i>

1348
01:28:57,370 --> 01:29:00,960
<i>It is you I have loved.</i>

1349
01:29:01,040 --> 01:29:04,970
<i>All along.</i>

1350
01:29:32,160 --> 01:29:36,000
<i>Whoa, over and over.</i>

1351
01:29:36,080 --> 01:29:41,170
<i>I'm filled with emotion.</i>

1352
01:29:41,250 --> 01:29:44,210
<i>As I look.</i>

1353
01:29:44,300 --> 01:29:48,930
<i>Into your perfect face</i>