The Adventures of Bucket Butt

>If you found this diary, it means I’m no longer here, where I went is not important, what I did in here is though.
>I’ll start at the beginning, all the way back at basic. My friend at the time we’ll call him Acorn, a younger earth stallion from a farm who I met during enlisting, sat on the mud caked floor together after completing a hoof march.
>He reached into his bag and pulled out his canteen, trying to open it, he struggled with the top a bit. I helped him open it using my magic before I went to go and get my own canteen.
>”Thanks Buck.” He told me before knocking back the water.
>I was bucking parched, and looking forward to swallowing that cool, refreshing water, but had apparently I lost my canteen on the march over. My dry and cracked throat pulsed painfully as I tried to swallow any kind of moister from my mouth.
>I didn’t think anyp0ny had noticed, but Acorn locked eyes with me when he saw I came out of the bag empty hoofed. “What’s wrong?”
“I lost my canteen.” I said as you could practically hear the dryness in my throat.
>”Haha, here, have the rest of mine.” He said crawling over and offering me it
“Are you sure?”
>”Look stallion just take it, we still got a long way to go.”
“Thanks, I owe you one.”
>I took his drink and greedily poured it all down my throat, not even taking the time to enjoy it.
>”What in Tartarus are you two doing splitting your canteen?!” The drill sergeant yelled as I just finished it off “I do not run a squad for stallion suckers!”
“I..ugh.”
>”Sir, he lost his canteen sir!” Acorn salutes “I did not want my squad mate to pass out during field exercise, sir!”
>The sergeant looked at the two of us, and could tell neither of us were lying, why would we?

>”That’s mighty commendable of you solider! I am proud that you share your rations with a squad mate in need! Carry on! But as for YOU Bucket, you had best unbuck yourself before you cost me the lives of my GOOD candidates! Cloud Chaser!” He shouted to the side, as another recruit saluted
>”Sir yes sir!”
>”Bring Private Bucket here another canteen, and shove it up his ass so that he may not lose his canteen again!”
>”Sir yes sir!” the stallion shouted before running off, the sergeant walked away after that, guess he had other recruits to humiliate.
>”He’s not really gonna shove the canteen up your ass is he?” Acorn asked looking at the soldier running around the supple cache.
“I’ll kick his ass if he tries, I may take that shit from the higher ups, but I won’t take it from some stick in the ass recruit.”
>Boy, did I eat my words later on. Cloud later showed up and tossed the canteen at me, it wasn’t even filled with water, and I had to spend the rest of the day carrying it in my bag.
>It took a few good hours, but we finally finished the drills for the day, and had to wash up. All the stallions lined up in formation while the sergeant barked his orders as usual.
>”Listen up maggots! Shower up, towel off, and rest, we start drills again at 0500 hours. Dismissed!”
>”SIR YES SIR!” Everyp0ny shouted before breaking off, I TRIED to slink past him, but it was rumored that he had the strength of a dragon, and the eyes of a hawk. I thought it was bullshit until he called me out not even looking in my direction. “BUCKET!”
“Sir yes sir!”
>”Since you cost her royal highness bits in having lost that canteen, you clean up the mess from the other stallions, they were good soldiers and earned their break, I’ve yet to see you do the same.”

>I just stood there mouth agape as he walked off towards the base, turning back, I saw an endless field of equipment and litter as far as the eye could see. I tried my best not to cry, but a few tears escaped me. Mom was right, I wasn’t royal guard material.
>The only good thing about being sent to do that horrible chore was that I got to have the showers exclusively to myself when I got back.
>My tired bones and muscles cried out in agony as I did my best to just stand under the stream of water.
>When I first go here, I was upset that I didn’t get the top bunk, but with my gummy like legs, I was thanking Celestia I got the bottom bunk that night.
>The next morning, we all were rudely awakened to the trumpets blare, like every morning, the sergeant took it upon himself to break through the door, yelling and screaming at everyp0ny to get up.
>I fought with everything I had to move my dead body up and at attention; to this day I swear he was looking right at me. Just wishing I had shown some weakness, some fault he could yell at me for. But I wasn’t gonna let him have it, he wasn’t gonna break me.
>I could feel my legs wobble under my weight, and I was straining to remain standing up, he came marching towards me, and I thought for sure he was gonna let me have it. But instead, he yelled at the recruit a bed away.
>In the chow hall, Acorn and I sat at a table with a few other recruits. We all more or less joined met at the start, so we hung around one another in some form of security.
>”How are you feeling?” Acorn asked me as he could tell I was in pain
“I’m just really tired.”
>”I bet.” One of the stallions whose name I don’t care to recall said “You got yourself a death wish getting on his bad side.”

>”He rides all of us.” Another stallion says biting into his food, “In a couple of hours, he’ll find some other idiot to get after.”
>I was offended that he basically called me an idiot, but was to tired…heck, I was too meek to say anything. Acorn as usual had my back,
“Well, lets ALL avoid bucking up if we can, he can’t yell at us for doing the right things right?”
>”All right maggots! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!” The sergeant yells as all the stallions immediately get up and start running past him to form outside.
>I honestly thought he was gonna call out my name again, but I ran past him without incident. Outside, we all took our place in line and stood at attention as the sergeant walks up and down the ranks.
>”Today! You will be conducting a live exercise, in which, you split up into 3 teams of 12! Earth, Pegasus, and Unicorn, are the team names, I have divided you all by name, come up when I call you.”
>It was a bothersome process, but I was thankfully teamed up with Acorn in my squad. He learned that Bucket wasn’t my real name, and thought it odd that everyone called me by my nickname. Luckily we didn’t have the time to really discuss that, because we were the first to take on the obstacle course.
>We all stood in line side by side as the whistle was blown, and ran off into a line of trees. As soon as we reached them, we began a cautious a walk forward. For the next 4 hours, I had to avoid making a mess of things.
>Our designated squad leader, was some chocolate Pegasus, the guy was the most qualified of us all to lead, but keep in mind we were a ragtag bunch of fumbling newbie’s. So it was not such a prestigious honor and more of a blind leading the blind kind of thing.
>”All right.” The lead stallion said taking out his map, “We’re here, and we need to get here.”

>”Yeah no shit.” A mouthy stallion in our ranks chimed in, “We just gotta keep moving forward.” He said before walking away
>”Hey!” The leader spoke “You..you cant just leave! We have a system, and move as one.”
>”Well where are we going then?” This guy was a real dick despite only knowing him for a few minutes
>The leader looks over the map and stutters as he tries to make heads or tails of it, reluctantly he points in the same direction of the mouthy stallion. “Over there.”
>”Tsk, that’s what I thought.” He said before continuing, suddenly, a blast of magic flies out and hits him on the side of the head, he falls to the side and groans in pain.
>Our sergeant comes blasting out of a thicket of bushes, “Congratulations retard! You just got picked off by a magic sniper, you are now dead!”
>”What?!” The stallion yells “You never said anything about snipers!” The sergeant gets up in his face and snarls
>”This is WAR! You really think the enemy will tell you where they’re hiding?!” Everyp0ny takes cover thinking that they might be the next target as the sergeant stands out in plain sight. “The sniper is gone you dumb colts! Any good sniper worth their salts moves to a tactical location before continuing their assault. From here on out, Private Dead Weight here will be carried by the team, you MUST bring his body back to the evacuation site. You can use magic, tools, or any other means, but if I see a zombie Dead Weight walking on his own power, I will delay your graduations the whole lot of ya! Is that clear!?”
>”YES SIR!”
>In a flash he disappears into the bush, and we could hear him running away deeper into the brush. I was looking around at all the tall trees and hearing the birds chirping. It formed a surreal vision to the danger that surrounded us all. We were no longer in boot camp; we were now flank high in shit, and we still had a long way to go.


Chapter 2 (Green Trial)

>Despite it being noon, the trees were packed together so tightly it casted shade almost everywhere, it made for an enjoyable march, and good cover from the waiting enemy soldiers.
>Dead Weight had to be carried by me, and 3 other unicorns for the better part of an hour. We took turns carrying him with our magic, but it was tiresome as our magical stamina easily drained out. Reaching a tall grassy clearing, we looked around uneasily from one side of it to the other.
>”We’ll save time walking through it.” The leader said putting down his map
>”Yeah, we’ll also get blasted to the moon by the ambush waiting for us.” Another stallion spoke out,
>”I don’t think so.” Another one said, “We just got shot at by a sniper, they’ll know we’ll be on alert.”
>Acorn looks over the grass and lowers his body to the floor, moving forward he plays with the grass a little. “If we hug the floor, we can clear it undetected.”
“Are you sure?” I asked moving Dead Weight over to the next stallion
>”Yeah, I’ll go first.”
>Its silly now, but I really felt concerned for his safety when he went into the tall grass, like we really in war, and I would see my friend get picked off.
>We waited for what seemed like an eternity before he came back, “It’s good, let’s go.”
>One by one, we all laid on our stomachs and crawled inward, keeping a tight proximity to one another, I followed directly behind Acorn while he lead the way.
>This grass was lush, and each blade had a small warm moisture in it thanks to it being midday. I had a stallion directly behind me, and was afraid that I would kick him, so I inched myself forward like a worm. Dragging my stomach across the grass, something you should know about me, I’m very sensitive especially in already sensitive areas.

>I was rock hard from the sensation of dragging my dick across the firm but plush soil. I was thinking about every unattractive thing I could to take my mind off the pleasurable feeling. I gritted my teeth looking forward, trying to keep the mission in mind.
>But what I saw was Acorn’s butt and his balls pressed tightly against them, I didn’t want to be attracted to them, but I was and with every rub I kept getting more and more aroused.
>I focused hard at his bottom and couldn’t help myself as I pushed myself harder into the soil; I was masturbating, in the middle of a field, looking my friends butt for visual stimulation. Part of me pretended he was a mare, but the other kept reminding me who he really was.
>It became a sort of game in which I would tell myself he was a she, only to acknowledge that he wasn’t and I would get myself even more excited at the thought. I couldn’t stop, if I got up, I was done for, if I told the truth, I’d be humiliated, the only hope I had was to take my mind off it.
>But that option went out the window when I let out a whimper and stopped crawling as I ejaculated all over the ground.  My hips trembled as I tried to rub more cum out, but I knew any harder, and I would give myself away.
>”Hey! Move!” The stallion behind me said frustrated,
“I’m sorry, *pant* I can’t.”
>”What’s the hold up?”
>”Move already!”
>Several stallions were losing their patience waiting for me to move.
“Just go around, I’m..I’m not feeling well.”
>The ones behind me, groaned in anger as they navigated their way around. I rested my head on the ground in shame at having done something so stupid. Looking forward, Acorn is just inches away from me.
>”Hey, what’s up?”
"Nothing, its nothing. I just needed a little break."
>"Well c'mon then." He says facing away and crawling forward.
>I reluctantly follow behind, leaving a large splotch of white goo behind.