Pudding Mama

"Kaboom!"

"Aaaah!"

Neptune's wooden sword had come crashing down from above, shattering my weapon and throwing me to my side onto the mat.  We were only supposed to be having a friendly competition between our rivals, the Purple Sisters.  Well, not so much competition since Uni and I are the best at everything...or at least I thought we were...

"How could I have let this happen..."  I foolishly accepted a bet with her where if I won she'd have to become my personal assistant for a day and do whatever I wanted her to.  I thought this was finally going to be my chance to have her all to myself and I let it slip away so easily.  I was such a fool to let my guard down thinking this would be another victory for me, but Neptune didn't hold back at all.  She fought with the ferocity of a demon and didn't even let me land a hit on her!  Now that I've lost...

"You owe me a fancy-shmancy dinner and a sweet dessert!"  She tossed her sword aside and leaned over to help me up.  "It's gonna be fun watchin' you cook for little old me Noire."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

Our sisters got up and started leaving as I brushed myself off.  Neptune was always the one who gave me the most trouble, but this was unexpected, she was out of my league today.

"Hey Nepgear, let's get out of here.  Seeing my sister lose this badly kind of ruined the rest of this training session for me.  Wanna go somewhere else and NOT be bored there?"

"Sure, where to?"

My sister is making more progress than me!  Have I fallen so far in my conquest for perfection and Neptune that Uni is starting to outshine me!?  No, I can't...I refuse to let that happen!  As she and Nepgear discussed what they'd do I decided that I'll make the best of this childish bet and try to turn it around in my favor.  "S-so what do you want for dinner Neptune?  Don't you dare say-"

"Pasta alla carbonara!"

"Pasta alla what?  Isn't that just fancy-"

"Spaghetti!"

"Why!?"  Anytime there's a chance of me cooking for someone, so I don't lose my touch of course, they insist on me making something relating to pasta.  I know everything I make is amazing, but I feel like I'll be losing my touch if I'm stuck making this all the time.  "I bet you want me to make you something sweet like pu-"

"Read me like a book my wardrobe malfunctioning friend!"  She interrupted while staring a little below my neckline.

I look down to see what she means by malfunctioning and saw the buttons on the front of my dress had been knocked loose.  "Ne-Neptune why didn't you say anything earlier!?"  I covered myself in a panic in the nick of time before anything too serious was exposed.  "Did the girls see anything?"

"Nope, your girls didn't sneak a peek!"

"N-not my girls you idiot!"  I could feel my face going bright red at the thought of Neptune oggling my body and while that would be a much welcomed gesture, our sisters being here prevented it from being more than that...wait, what if she was going to make her move then?  Uni should've dragged Nepgear away much earlier had I known there was a chance of this happening!

"Enough dawdling Noire.  Hurry up and secure your dirty pair so I can watch you cook!"

"Quit giving them nicknames!"  I barely got the chance to button up before she flipped me around and started shoving me out of the training room.  When we left I took the initiative to grab her hand and guide us toward the kitchen.  No doubt Neptune is clueless as to where to go and this is a rare chance for me to hold her hand for once.  Not like she'll suspect me of holding it for the sake of holding it though, she's as dense as her little sister.

When we arrived in the kitchen I had Neptune sit down at the table in the center of the room while I searched the cupboards.  Everything should be neatly organized so why am I having trouble finding a simple pot?  "Ugh, I bet Kei or Uni reorganized without mentioning anything..."  I try not to let my annoyance become too obvious as I firmly shut the cupboards, and kneel down to search in the cabinets under the sink.  I've barely started searching when I hear a chair being moved around a little...she just can't sit still, can she?  "Just a second Neptune, I found what I was looking for."

"I see London, I see France~..."

"What!?"  I panicked and dropped my pot to immediately cover myself up, but in the process I ended banging my head on the edge of the cabinet.  "Ow!  Look what you made me-"  I grabbed the pot and got up as soon as I recovered to scold Neptune, but she was sitting in the same exact spot looking...bored actually.

"I was just teasing you Noire.  I wanted to see how fast you'd react but you ended up hurting yourself.  My bad."  She rested her head on hands and stared at me with new found curiosity.  "Since you're up what kinda spaghetti are you gonna whip up for me?"

I try not to nurse what might've become a bump on my had and stick to pouring a nice handful of pasta strands into the pot and wait for it to boil.  "Normal."

"Normal?  That's soooo boring though.  I whupped you pretty hard and you're making normal spaghetti?  I sure hope dessert wows me..."

"Oh...it'll 'wow' you alright."  I ended up crushing a some spaghetti before they made it to the pot, but it was better than letting her see me get upset at her obvious teasing.  I get the feling she's planning something...she's being unusually weird today.  "For dinner, let's make it a candlelight dinner at one of those little tables on the balcony by moonlight.  Oh, and let's get some garlic bead and I'll break out my special champagne while we're at it."  Getting all that stuff will be no problem of course, but I said all that with so much sarcasm even she should pick up on it.

"Ooh, I wanna pop the cork off!"

"...What?"

"Yeah, I'll take a twisty thingie and fire the champagne into the night sky.  Oh man, I can just imagine all the cool sparkles and stuff that'll show up tonight."

"You seriously want all that?  I mean, I was only spouting off nonsense I saw in some movie.  You don't really want any of that romantic stuff..."  Shut up Noire, let the girl have what she wants, this could be your chance!

"Leave the garlic bread out and you've got yourself a deal.  Good thing we did our training a little later than usual, huh?"  I could hear her feet hitting the chair she was sitting as she tilted her head side to side, smiling while she awaited her special evening.

"It's settled then, you get to do the honors of popping the bottle open.  Now simmer down while I try to remember how to make this pudding special for you."  I brainstorm as hard as I can on what kind of pudding I should make since normal spaghetti isn't enough for her.

"Normal pudding is good enough for me."

This adorably obnoxious woman!  "F-fine!  One normal pudding coming up."  I can't believe the circles she's got me running around in, if it's not one thing it's another.  "Geez, you're lucky you're so...cute..."

"Didja say something Noire?"

"N-nothing, just shut up so I can make this pudding for you.  After that I'll mix the sauce with the food and start getting our table ready."  She stays quiet long enough for me to get the pudding mixings together and into the fridge just in time to drain the pasta.  I grabbed the nearest container of sauce and lightly poured it evenly into the pot.  "Hm, garlic and onion..."  I'll stop myself now and hope she doesn't notice...not that I would let a little something like onion or garlic stop me from letting her-

"Hey Noire, can I-"

"Kiss me."  Oh no, I might've been thinking about that a little too hard, I actually said what I was thinking when she called me!  Think of something, anything, this awkward silence might be the death of me!

"...What?"

"Kiss me...the cook!  K-kiss the cook, yeah!  I forgot that I wasn't wearing an apron and I just realized that getting tomato sauce all over my clothes would totally ruin them.  That's it, of course.  I haven't the foggiest idea as to why you'd assume I'd be thinking of you doing sweet things to m-"  Geez Noire, spill it all out before you even make it to dinner why don't you.

"You're acting like, really weird Noire.  Did I rattle your brain a little too hard when I bopped you earlier, or is this from me not sneaking a peek at your whitey tighties and you bumping your noggin?"  She said all that with a smile so sly I had to go back to stirring the food before I melted in front of her.  It's a good thing she isn't...I turned my head to double check on her...it's a good thing she isn't in HDD, I probably would've passed out again like every other time she's gotten this close to me.  "Could you do me a favor and help me get the table set up?  It's almost dusk, so we'll have to have pudding by moonlight."  How can she get more hot and bothered while aggravating me.

"Least I could do, I was getting bored."

---

I can't believe Neptune had me set everything up out here and watched.  She even demanded a little checkerboard cloth draped over the table like that one movie with the dogs.  A pair of scentless candles, a nicely aged bottle of champagne in a small bucket of ice, and a generous serving of spaghetti are neatly arranged on the center of the table, with Neptune sitting opposite of me waiting to dig in.  'Remember, it's because you got creamed!'...she keeps reminding me and honestly...I think she's doing it on purpose.

Neptune takes a fork and slowly swirls it around on her side of the spaghetti before taking a clean bite, beaming an extra bright wide smile at me while giving me a thumbs up.  "Just as good as I thought it would be, mi amore!"  I think it's safe to say I'm getting a little worried about Neptune, she's dominated in our session, demanded something only I could dream of happening...and she isn't making a mess with her meal.

"Hey Neptune, mind if I ask you something a little personal?"

"If you don't mind me answering that personal question, mi amore."

If she's trying to annoy me she's doing a good job of it, especially with this foreign talk of hers.  I bet she's making fun of me or something, but I have to get on with what's on my mind.  "S-so Neptune, is there anyone you l-"

"Ooh ooh, I know this one!"  I nearly dropped my spaghetti in anticipation for what could be answer that'll make or break my night.  "The answer is yes!"

"...Yes?"

"Yes there's someone I like."  That wasn't the answer I was looking for but I suppose it's a start.  Maybe if I take it slowly I can sort of get her to say a little more than that.  "While we're on the subject, mind shooting the breeze with me?"  She asks as I take a couple of scoops of food and finish off my portion.

"Uh...sure."  Oh no, she's probably going to saying like 'I like everyone equally' or 'you're a great friend Noire', I've already failed at taking control of dinner conversation.

In a brilliant flash Neptune had gone HDD and propped herself on an arm and continued eating, talking to me in between bites.  "It's actually quite serious what I want to discuss with you, and I believe this is the best way to get the point across.  I hope you don't mind."  She swirled her food around and played around with it so much that I couldn't take my eyes off her fork.  I didn't need to look up to know she was staring at me, I could almost feel her gaze all over me as a shiver ran up my spine.  She slowly lifted her fork full of food and let it hang in the air before cleanly slipping it in her mouth.  "Mmm~"

"Hngh!"  I was so fixated on the her utensil that her sudden...noise caught me off guard and I lost a little control of myself.

"What's the matter Noire?  Why the sudden HDD?"

"I-I was choking!  Chest pains!  The food will taste better!  Um...uh..."  Think of something you idiot!

"As long as you're ok I suppose."  She took another bite, but this was much more straightforward and less...suggestive.  "Back on topic, I think I would like to get a little more serious in regards to...finding the one."

"The one?  You mean, you want to get serious about-"

"Yes, I think it's time I've moved on to find that special someone.  The one I've had my eyes on currently...may not be what I'm looking for in a partner."  She put her fork down and rested her arms on the table, leaning on them a little leaving me to wonder what she was talking about.  There's no more food and I'm sure the pudding isn't ready yet, as much as I don't want to I'm going to have to bide some time.

"Wh-who were you looking at and why aren't they meeting your expectations?"  I hope she's talking about me...wait no, that would mean I'm doing something wrong and driving her away!  Aah!  I have no idea where I want to be right now!  "W-would you mind explaining?"

"Of course."  Her smile had faded away and a disappointed expression took its place.  "Where do I begin?  I don't want to say her name for fear of putting her business out there, so I'll leave that for you to figure out...if you choose to do so."  She let out a sigh and looked towards the rising moon.  "I've known her for quite a while now and I thought we had an amazing connection from the start.  I'd go as far as saying that it was love at first sight...until I realized that this may have been a one sided...thing."

"That's...so sad Neptune.  What are you going to do about her?"  That sounds so much like...me.  It's clear that she wants to be with this...fool but they can't see it apparently.  Wait, what if she really is talking about me and all those times we've spent were her attempts at hinting at it?  "Do they at least notice you?"

She shifted her attention back at me and her expression hadn't changed for the better...she looked bored now.  "Oh, they've noticed me all right, but they haven't said a thing.  No matter how many times I throw myself at her she just freaks out and pushes me away.  One moment I'm welcome, the next minute I'm supposed to leave her alone, it's just that these mixed signals are getting a little stale and my interest is starting to wane..."  She let out another loud sigh.  "What should I do Noire?  Should I keep waiting for her or should I move on an-"

"N-no!"  I squealed in a panic.

"Hmm?"  Neptune raised an eyebrow at me, looking a little more interested in the conversation.  I really wish I didn't feel so strongly about her, the way she's looking at me now is making it difficult to speak.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes to make my feelings...a little more obvious.  "Wait for her!  I mean, she may not be able to express herself properly, so maybe that's why it seems like she pushes you away.  Sh-she could be waiting for the right moment is all..."  I'm sure that was my chance to say something more meaningful but I blew it.

"You sound like you know what you're talking about.  I'll have to take your word for it and wait a little while longer."  Just as quickly as her interest was piqued, she went back to looking unamused.

"N-Neptune, want to hear-"

"Oh, I nearly forgot about the champagne."  Her eyes lit up with new found interest as she reached for the bottle and corkscrew.  She completely ignored me as she got ready to stab the cork but started having second thoughts.  "I'm in HDD so it would be a wasted opportunity.  I've always wanted to try this myself..."  She placed the bottle in her lap, set the corkscrew aside, and dug her thumb into the base of the cork while straining a little.  "It seems as though..hng...movies truly do make things...hnngh...look easier!"

The way her face contorted and turned a little red, while struggling to get the bottle opened, started getting the better of me.  Her cute straining intensified as she continued to fight with the cork...placed firmly in her lap...probably pressing down and being tightly secured in her lap as she shakes trying to free the chamapgne.

-POP!-

"Noire watch out!"

I was snapped out of my lewd thoughts by Neptune's panicked voiced.  "Wha-"  I couldn't react in time as a small cylindrical object came hurtling at my face, hitting me right in the middle of the forehead.  Blinding pain shot throughout my face as a cool foamy liquid shot all over me as well.  "Kh!"  I clutched my face and stomped my feet doing my best to not let her see my tears...
Neptune kicked over her chair as she rushed to my side, moving my hands aside to try and check the damage that was done.  "Are you all right!?"

The pain was so great that I had trouble answering her and the best I could manage was a little head shake.  That even managed to hurt me as my bangs brushed against my sore sport, making it throb and sting even more.  "...I...Idiot..."  It doesn't help that I have champagne all over me and I'll probably feeling sticky before the night is over with.

"I'm so sorry!  Let me make it better..."

"Ne-Neptune!?"  She took a seat right in my lap and scooted closer onto me, pressing her body up against mine and getting the champagne all over her as well.  "Wh-wh-wha-!"  I couldn't get words out in time before she brushed my bangs aside and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead.

Her expression has taken a completely turn once again...the way she was smiling down at me sent my heart aflutter.  I'm sure she could feel my heart pounding through my chest and into her sides as she smiled a little wider and pecked me on the forehead again.  "Do you know what 'mi amore' means, Noire?"

I shook my head in response...she's gotten so...bold!  I have to be the girl she was referencing too, but I still can't bring myself to say anything outright.  I-I'm not ready to tell her, I'm burning up just having her sit on my lap like this.

Her smile faded a little, and she went on with her next question.  "Do you have anything to say right now?"
Say it you idiot!  This is probably the best to chance to say those words, so say them already.  A wave of nausea overcomes me as I shake my head again, despite how badly I want to express my feelings!  What's wrong with me!?

Neptune's face had gone from a faint smile to a very stern look of disappointment and frustration.  Her eyebrows furrowed as she got up in a huff, her long braided ponytails nearly hitting me in the face.  She sent a glare at me so fierce and cold I could feel my heart freeze in place, and the only thing keeping it together was her silence.  "I see...I was right in assuming you didn't share my feelings..."  She reached the door and took one last look at me.  "I'll be sure to treat you as I do everyone else and not waste either of our time anymore.  Goodbye...mi amore..."  She said that as she took her final steps through the door, vanishing in the darkness of the basilicom dining room...

I can't let it end like this!  "N-Neptune!  Ow!  W-wait!"  I winced as a sharp pain shot throughout my head again, throwing me off my balance as I got up and causing me to slip a little on the spilled champagne.  "Neptune!"  I stumbled into the doorway, fumbling with the light switch and giving up after a few seconds of trying.  "Neptuuuune!"  I shout into the darkness in hopes she can hear me...she couldn't have gotten far...  "F-fine!  You want me to say it, I'll say it!"

I took a breath, calmed myself down a little, and shouted at the top of my lungs.  "I love you, you purple idiot!"  That nauseous feeling from before still lingered about but I kept shouting my confession.  "From the moment I laid my eyes on you I've wanted to be with you!"  I slumped down to my knees and continued...knowing full well she was probably long gone.  "I can't help but get a little awkward around you dammit..."  Tears begin welling up in my eyes as I stare at the floor but I can't stop myself.  "I love you and if only I had a fraction of what you or my own sister had I'd be able to say it."  As I sit in the moonlit doorway sobbing away, light footsteps approach me from the side.  "Not now Uni, your sister is...having a moment..."  I try to wave her away but I can't pull my hands away from my face...

The footsteps stop behind me, followed by a gentle thud and a pair of arms wrapping around my body.  Her body was wet, her arms were long and slender and...her...this isn't Uni!  "Now was that so hard, Noire?"
I turned my head to see Purple Heart looking at me with tears in her eyes.  "I thought you-"

"Left?  Silly girl, don't you remember what I said when we tried to cosplay?"
It took me a few moments to remember what she was talking about, and I'm mad at myself for not noticing it at the time.  "'I'll be waiting...'"

She giggled as I recalled she said and held me tighter, pressing herself on my back.  "I'm glad you remembered.  To think all I had to do was push you to your limits."

"Push me?  Y-you mean..."

"Today?  I'll admit I didn't know where I was going when I went the extra distance to defeat you and I'm sorry for getting out of hand.  I made the bet beforehand hoping that you would do something new and exciting...but you went with the predictable 'be my lackey' option.  It was at that moment I had to make sure you'd do something different.  I also had a hunch you would tempt fate when I teased your choice of spaghetti, and sure enough you did."

"S-so you did that on purpose with main course...what were your plans regarding the pudding?"

"I like normal pudding."  She smirked.

I'm too relieved to get annoyed at that statement.  I've finally said my piece and can finally sleep peacefully knowing that she knows how I truly feel.  But what do we from now on?  I for one can't act normal around her, and I'm sure she'll be even more touchy feely with me at inappropriate times...but I don't think I'll be nearly as panicky about that anymore.  "So what are we going to do now?"
She places a hand on my chest and stomach and whispers into my ear seductively.  "To be honest, I hadn't planned this far ahead.  We have dessert waiting for us...or we can clean ourselves up a bit, I'm sure your body is..."  She lowered the hand resting on my stomach just above my waist while keeping her other hand on my chest, lightly grasping me and monitoring my accelerating heartbeat.  "...getting cold and sticky from the little mess I made.  What will we do?~"