(808) Double Feature (FR) (Part 1 Finale)

>Day in line at the movies in Equestria.
>It was a good night.
>"YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH-"
>Until Fluttershy threatened you.
>"YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH-"
>Employee 404, the Derpmeister, is pretty cool.
>"YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH-"
>Sadly she's bouncing up and down as you wait in line.
>And she's very happy.
>Time Turner is standing next to you.
>Derpy is behind him.
>He's twitching.
>"YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH-"
>He shudders.
>"Derpy! Please, I'm trying to stand here and not off myself."
>"I"M JUST SO EXCITED TO FINALLY SEE THIS MOVIE!"
>"I"VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG! SO HAS MOOSE!"
"...i-I just found out about it the other day."
>"Well that's great Derpy, but could you maybe keep it down?"
>"BUT WE HAVE TO GO SEE THE MOST LOVELIEST BRIDE!"
>You, Time Turner, Derpy, Dinky, The Cutie Mark Crusaders Mailroom Action Squad, Mayor Mare, Mineutte.
>In line at the movies.
>Time Turner looks at you and just shakes his head a little.
>He keeps his voice just quiet enough for you.
>"She wonders why she's single."
"Well...s-some ponies are just..."
>You look back at Derpy and she's rubbing herself up against a movie poster.
>She's mumbling "She's so lovely" under her breath.
>Dinky looks embarrassed.
>The interns look hung over and overtired.
"...enthusiastic?"
>"Whatever you've got to tell yourself to wake up in the morning."
"Wh-what?"
>"You reek of 404, Moose."
>He grins.
>"I mean hey; kudos to you. She's a fun pegasus. But uh...she gets like this."
>Derpy looks up at the poster, starry-eyed.
>"So. Damn. Often. And trust me when I say if she doesn't like it, you'll be dealing with that for a bit."
"...I didn't sl-slee--I didn't stick it to her."
>"Well good for you."
"...have you?"
>Time Turner bursts out into laughter.
>"No...oh Moose, buddy. Absolutely not. She is friend material. And after we tried to do a little office bowling league thing--well, she's staying in that zone forever."

>The line barely inches forward.
>Minuette is trying to kiss up to Mayor Mare.
>Mayor Mare is trying to get the Cutie Mark Crusaders to let cut in line.
>They are unmoved.
>Derpy is still vibrating like a washing machine.
>Dinky is standing next to her.
>Just smiling up at you.
>Time Turner sputters with his lips and looks around.
>"We've been in line for thirteen minutes."
"What?"
>"I hate lines."
"I'm...okay with lines."
>"Save my spot?"
"W-what?"
>"Save my spot, I'm going to go get a pretzel."
>You look back at the line behind you.
>And then towards a pretzel vendor just across the way.
"Uhm...b-but."
>Time Turner looks blankly at you.
>"Seriously?"
"...sorry."
>"It's fine. How about I save your spot and you get it for me, Moose?"
"Yeah that...that'd be better."
>"No cheese."
"What?"
>"That guy puts cheese on the pretzel, I don't like that. Messes with the salt."
"So, tell him no cheese?"
>He nods at you.
>"Yeah, tell him no cheese. Because--Yeah Moose."
>It's like he's aware you're not good at this kind of thing.
>But you're getting better.
>You step out of line before he hands you any bits.
>It's just a pretzel.
>You cross the street.
>The vendor smiles at your approach.
"One pretzel, no cheese."
>You get the cheese in a little cup for dipping.
>Maybe cheese was his special talent.
>You turn around.

>A glove of needly-sharp blades is a mere inch away from your face.
>It's on a hoof.
>Fluttershy is wearing a hat and a ratty sweater.
>"Su-surprise b-boyfriend!"
>You're clutching your heart.
>You've dropped the pretzel.
>Still have the cheese.
>Time Turner will appreciate the failure in this.
"Wh...wh...why are you d-dress like that?"
>"You said you were going to the movies mister...so I thought you must be seeing--uhm..."
>She points to a movie poster across the street.
>You squint.
"Experience the Terror and the Trauma of the Nightmare Moon on Elk Street?"
>Fluttershy smiles and nods.
>"...th-those movies s-sort of scare me, mister...but I'll c-cosplay for you.."
>You look at the pretzel on the ground.
>Time Turner is watching you.
>"OH COME ON!"
>The white unicorn filly intern gives Time Turner a dirty look.
>Turner almost steps out of line but he sighs and just glares a hole in the ground.
"Fluttershy...leave me alone."
>She tips her hat to you.
>Showing you her stitches.
>"N-no mister... y-you're in trouble. Th-this is your last chance t-to be my b-boyfriend."
>You adjust your tie.
>You're not wearing a tie.
>You're just rubbing that area of your shirt.
"...p-please leave me alone, Fluttershy."
>You take a deep breath.
"I'm sorry you got hurt, and I'm sorry...I am really so so sorry you think that I'm..."
>You lower your voice.
"That getting me to like you well let you show your friends you aren't weak."
>She glares at you.
>It makes your shoulders weak.
"...b-b-but, this is all your own f-fault."
>You turn your back to her.
"O-one more pretzel please...n-n-no cheese. Not even in a c-cup."
>He does not dispute you.
>YEAH!
>You can feel how contorted in awkwardness your face is right now.
>STILL!
>"A-anon, I'm going to t-tell on you if you don't. This is your..."
>You start  to walk away.
>"L-l-l-last..."
>KEEP.
"L-last..."
>WALKING.
>"LAST LAST CHANCE!"
>She's being quite loud.
>You get back in line.
>Time Turner just looks at you.
>"Wow...she's absolutely bonkers, isn't she?"
>You hand off the pretzel and nod.

>The line moves forward.
>Derpy puts her hooves on your shoulder.
>She's doing a little mambo thing as the line moves forward.
>"It makes waiting fun!"
>You let out a single laugh and look back towards the vendor.
>Fluttershy's ratty cosplay hat is on the ground.
>She's walking around with her scars on display.
>B-e-a-utiful.
>Stay strong.
>If she says anything you're prepared for this.
>You're part of the machine.
>And she's a rapist sociopony.
>You can beat this.
>Derpy slams her hips into your butt and you stumble forward.
>And down.
>Your face hits the pavement.
>It hurts.
>So much.
>Do not cry.
>You can hardly breath.
>Derpy is crushing you.
>You can hear Mayor Mare and Minuette having a laugh.
>Tim Turner is mumbling to himself.
>"Moose! Oh no!"
>Derpy is screaming into your ear.
>"OH NO! I CRUSHED HIM!"
>She starts flapping her legs around, having forgotten how to stand up.
>Time Turner grunts.
>"Four-oh-four, just fly off of him."
>"Oh yeah...sorry. SORRY EVERYONE!"
>She flies up in the air.
>You get up.
>Gasp for air.
>Wipe your face.
>"Now imagine that with a bowling ball in your mouth."
>Time Turner gives you a grin.
>Derpy lands behind you and just stares at the ground.
>"So-so-so super-dooper sorry Moose. I was just.."
>You cough.
"It's...cool."
>Time Turner nudges you.
>"Line's moving Moose, let's get some tickets."

>You get tickets.
>To the Loveliest Bride.
>Derpy has gone from sad to overjoyed again.
>But whenever she looks at you she tries to reign it in.
>Time Turner gets told he has to finish that pretzel or he can't come in.
>He finishes eating it with the most displeased look one can muster.
>The whole office crowd follow's the Mayor's lead into the theater proper.
>"We're going to need to sit within the first three rows."
>"Seriously, Mare?" Turner is none-to-pleased.
>"I have glasses, Three-Sixty-Five."
>Minuette bitches at you. "Eight-oh-eight if your neck hurts you can always-"
>Time Turner cuts her off with a sharp look.
>You end up sitting in the third row.
>You take up the whole row.
>You, Time, Derpy, Dinky, Yellow Intern, White Intern, Orange Intern, Mayor Mare, Minuette.
>Mayor Mare is happy with the arrangement.
>"Y'all want some popcorn?" Yellow Intern says with a big grin.
>There are some nods and agreements.
>Yellow Intern looks down both sides of the row.
>She's very much in the middle.
"I'll go...is that, what nine popcorns?"
>Derpy gets out of her chair.
>"I'll help you carry them Moose."
"Oh-uhm, thanks Derpy."
>You get up out of your seat and enter the aisle.
>Derpy follows behind you with a big smile.
>You smile back at her.
>She reigns it in a little.
>You smile less.
>She smiles more.
>You decide to watch where you're going and open the door.
>Some ponies try to enter.
>Derpy doesn't.
>She bumps into a pair of moviegoers.
>"Come on. AGAIN!?"
>Twilight Sparkle sounds exasperated.
>"...w-w-watch where you're g-going, g-girl."
>Is Fluttershy's chiding response to Derpy.
>Derpy backs up and scrunches up her face.
>"Sorry! Sorry!"
>Then she smiles.
>"Hey! You're the ones in the movie!"
>Twilight sighs.
>"Well it's based on us, but those are actresses."
>Fluttershy wants to say something cruel.
>You motion to Derpy.
"Let's get some popcorn."
>As you awkwardly pass the pair you can hear Fluttershy say something.
>"...he th-thinks that the dumb mail pegasus is prettier and smarter than you."
>"And that's why he didn't want to help me write a letter?"
>Before you close the door, you see some of that purple mane get frazzled.

>Unicorn magic is interesting.
>Mostly because the guy filling up your nine bags of popcorn still looks bothered.
>Even though he's not moving anything.
>Derpy is looking at the posters for other coming attractions.
>Some of them look watchable.
>"Sorry I'm klutzy, Moose."
>Derpy tries to laugh it off.
>It's awkward.
>"I'm just so-so-so excited to see this movie!"
"It's...it's fine. What's it about anyway?"
>"I thought I told you already!"
>She probably did.
>But things have been rough lately.
>She gives you the brief re-cap.
>Something about a Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.
>A captain of the royal guard.
>Evil queen.
>Evil army.
>Based off that apparent invasion that happened before you arrived.
>And it's a musical.
>And Derpy knows all the songs already.
>She sings something off-key but all you can make out is "This Day".
>You smile.
"Sounds...neat. Why'd y-you say Twilight and...the other one were in it?"
>"Oh. They just saved the day and everything!"
"What."
>"Yeah. They're the ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!"
>Derpy strikes a pose.
>"They're magic and saviors and powered and stuff and really really nice."
"Well that's a crock of crap."
>Awkward silence.
>What.
>Did.
>You.
>Just.
>SAY?
>Ah crap. She's only been looking forward to this movie.
>You saw her outside!
>And YOU HAD TO SAY SOMETHING.
>Yeah, you had to say something now.
>Not when you're busy getting raped and feeling all down.
>Recover from this, you jagweasel.
"I mean...I'm s-sorry Derpy, I'm sure it'll be a good movie."
>She turns her nose up at you.
"D-derpy...it's just, I've had my issues with--"
>Derpy blows a big farting noise with her tongue and looks at you with a grin.
>"Moose, it's just a movie! Besides..."
>She beckons you closer.
>You get closer.
>Beckons you even closer.
>Your faces are pretty much touching.
>"I think they can be kinda goofy..."
>She licks your lip.
>"And -naughty-."
>And giggles.
"O-o-oh my."
>Popcorn is done.

>Get back into your seats.
>Pass the popcorn down the rows with Derpy's help.
>Receive thanks.
>Even from Minuette.
>Though she makes a 'jacking it' motion.
>She still hates you.
>Swell.
>Previews start up.
>"IN A WORLD..."
>You feel an itch.
>"WHERE EELS..."
>You rub the back of your head.
>"LIVE IN GULCHES..."
>"Well this sure is a swell place to camp--OOOH NO~"
>Something pegs you in the back of the head.
>"THIS SUMMER."
>You look over your shoulder.
>It's dark.
>"THIS ARBOR DAY."
>You can barely make out--
>"THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!"
>A piece of popcorn hits you in the eye.
>"THERE IS ONLY FEAR!"
>"We've got to blow up this gulch!--You'll need a bigger canyon."
>Another piece of popcorn is sent your way.
>By magic.
>Twilight Sparkles is giggling like a schoolgirl in the back row.
>Fluttershy is holding a bucket of popcorn.
>And grinning wickedly.
>"EEL GULCH. THE EELS THAT EAT PONIES."
>Time Turner is groaning.
>"That's what Equestria needs, more terrible sequels."
>Derpy tilts her head.
>"Isn't that the prequel?"
>Dinky shakes her head.
>"No, this is the third one."
>Time grins. Derpy frowns.
>"How do you know that Dinky-Doo?"
>"Uhm...uhm...I dunno."
>Derpy smiles.
>"Okay-dokay!"
>Something hard hits the back of your head.
>You actually bend down.
>Minuette starts laughing.
>Time does that arm-motion that means "go screw yourself".
>You peer back up.
>Another cup pegs you, this time in the neck.
>Time Turner looks up towards the direction they're being sent.
>"Hey, ladies!"
>A piece of pop-corn hits him the face.
>"I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND I'VE SEEN WHERE YOU SLEEP!"
>An empty cup pegs him.
>"AND I SWEAR YOUR MOTHERS WILL CRY WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU!"
>A full cup hits him in the head and splashes on to you.
>You get back up.
>He gives you a look.
>"I really hate the common cinema crowd."

>Time Turner and you take a trip to the bathroom.
>"So what was up with that?"
>You're dabbing paper towels on the back of his neck.
>He told you already not to make this weird.
"F-fucking Fl-fluttershy. And Twilight."
>He laughs.
>"And he's swearing now. I'm a terrible influence."
>He gets a big grin.
>"My family would be so proud. But what did I tell you? They're the worst."
>You grab a wad of paper towels and go into a stall.
>"Yeah, be weird and take a dump while I'm in here. That's -cool-."
"I'm NOT!"
>You close the door and he laughs.
"I wear shirts...it soaked down the back of my neck. I don't wa-want it to get sticky."
>"Ugh, you're telling me. Sticky is the worst."
>You take off your shirt and hang it over the door.
>"It's up there with glitter. And sequence. I ever tell you about this gaudy-freaking-tie Rarity made me?"
>You begin drying yourself off.
>He keeps talking.
>"Never even wore the thing. We only dated for that little bit. I think she gave it to that...dragon-thing. What's his name?"
"Spike?"
>"Spike! You know, he destroyed the town once."
>Time Turner whistles.
>"Someone should really consider running them out of Ponyville."
>You try to get some of the beverage out of your shirt.
>You hate stains.
>"I'm grabbing a drink, you want one?"
"S-sure."
>"Diet or...I'm going to get you regular."
>You hear the bathroom door open.
>You sit on the toilet and are bothered by the sticky feeling.
>You shake your head.
>Some popcorn falls on to the ground.
>"Anonymous! How come you're mean?"
>Look up.
>Twilight looking over one wall of the stall.
>"Y-yeah m-mister!"
>Fluttershy looking over the other.
>Keep your calm.
"This is the stallion's room."
>They both blush.
>"But still! You should've helped me write a letter!"
"Uh...sh-short notice...y-you get why s-schedules are important...and this isn't the mare's room!"
>Twilight rolls her eyes.
>"But it was too Princess Celestia!"
>You look at Fluttershy.
>You're not good at it.
>But this is your look of ultimate hatred.
>"...m-mister d-did...is p-pooping y-yourself y-your f-f-f-fetish?"
>You're apparently terrible at it.
"No. Now leave!"
>Fluttershy stammers and her voice picks up.
>"No, because---because you hit me!"

>Twilight looks at you darkly.
>"You -hit- her?"
"I did not hit her I did no--"
>You take a breath. Collect yourself.
>Reach for your shirt.
>Twilight magics it away.
"I didn't -hit- F-fucking Fluttershy!"
>They both gasp.
>Stunned.
>"Y-y-you sw-swore mister!"
>Fluttershy gets a dark grin.
>"...is b-being naughty your fetish?"
"I don't have a fetish."
>Twilight laughs.
>Her eyes are weirdly spaced.
>"Everypony has something they like that's weird, Anonymous!"
"Well...I don't deny that at -all-. But I'm a human."
>Twilight gets a ponderous look on her face.
"And that's different."
>She continues to stare at you.
>Trying to puzzle something out.
"P-please give me my shirt back."
>"But did you hit her?"
"I...I JUST SAID I DIDN'T!"
>"He d-did hit me! I mean..o-ow...th-the trauma of r-r-remembering he hit me...my o-own boyfriend."
"I'm not your boyfriend. I hit no one."
>You flex your noodly arms.
"Give me my shirt back. I'm missing a movie."
>Twilight magics the shirt to Fluttershy.
>"Fluttershy wouldn't lie to me."
"I--I can GUARANTEE YOU she WOULD."
>Stand up.
>Push Twilight off her side of the stall.
>Grab for your shirt from Fluttershy.
>"NO! It's m-mine now! Y-you c-can have it back w-when you're mine too!"
"This is not have good relationships work! I've never had one--"
>Twilight interjects. "So how can you know?"
"Because I'm not insane!"
>"B-but l-love's s-supposed to d-defy e-everything."
>You want to be every bit like every person who ever beat the shit out of you right now.
>You want to be your ex-roommate and threaten to murder them and then throw bottles at someone.
>You twitch.
>Cool it.
>Spazzing out is one thing.
>This is different.
>You open the stall door.
>They watch you exit the bathroom.
>You quickly push a lobby chair in from of the door.
>Walk over to the unicorn teen working the popcorn.
"H-hey...ex-excuse me, sir. S-s-someone pooped all over the f-floor."
>The unicorn groans.

>You get back into the theater proper and take your seat.
>Time has apparently switched seats with Derpy.
>There's a white stallion with weird hypnotized eyes on the screen.
>Some song is going.
>Derpy keeps staring at your lack of a chest.
>"...Moose t-this is uhm...s-shirt?"
>She tries to whisper.
>Time Turner leans forward and looks at you.
>He seems confused.
"..let's just enjoy the movie."
>Things get intense on the screen.
>Some wedding planning goes awry.
>There are bridesmares screaming.
>And the actresses playing Fluttershy and Twilight and the town tailor all act..
>Very snooty.
>It makes you laugh.
>During some of the song bits you can see Derpy mouthing the words.
>And during one of the villain songs you catch Time Turner doing the same.
>He blushes when you catch him.
>During a wedding dress scene, Derpy tears up and keeps saying.
>"She's so lovely. She's -so- lovely."
>She she nibbles on her lip.
>Things get a little boring when Actress Twilight ends up in a cave.
>The Royal Guard captain is a more interesting character.
>You hope he shows up more.
>Derpy yawns and stretches her wings.
>They knock your head forward a little.
>When you bring your head back up her hoof is over your shoulder.
>You look at her.
>"Moose...you're blushing."
>Uhm.
>You look at the screen through the corner of your eyes.
>Derpy's way too fun.
>How come the only fun chick who likes you is a flying mail carrier with weird eyes.
>Not that you're one to talk.
"S-s-so l-lovely."
>Moose grins brightly.
>You notice she does a hoof pump with her other hoof.
>"I d-did the move. That's my move, Moose."
>She pecks you on the lips.
>"I thought of it all by myself."
>You just stare at her.
>"You're smiling Moose. D-did I do it right?"

>The evil queen has just made her evil speech.
>And you're staring into Derpy's eye.
>And she's got her hoof over your shoulder.
>And she's tickling the back of your neck with her wing.
>And Minuette is making a 'jacking it' motion down the row.
>Which leads you to notice the Mayor is giving you a small grin.
>The interns are awwing.
>Time Turner groans.
>"Sssh...come on, it's the villain song reprisal."
>You decide that even though Civil Employee 404 has a kid.
>And she's probably older than you are by more than five years.
>She's really fun.
>And...
>You need a little fun in your life.
>You kiss her back.
>"NO! NO NO NO!"
>You hear someone shriek in front of you.
>Suddenly the screen begins to tear.
>Fluttershy rips the screen and cackles madly.
>Wearing your shirt.
>Like a...dress.
>Eugh.
>Derpy laughs.
>"Audience participation!"
>She claps.
>"It's not AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION YOU D-d-d-DUMB HEAD!"
>Fluttershy is screaming with all the rage and fury you're used to.
>Everypony seems shocked.
>"ANONYMOUS THE HUMAN IS A BAD MAN!"
>She's got so much rage in her.
>"HE BASHED ME IN THE HEAD. And...and..."
>She mumbles something. Then she sneers and screams.
>"AND HE RAPED ME! AND HE DESERVES TO BE PUNISHED!"
>You pale.
>Derpy looks at you all confused.
>The Cutie Mark Crusaders don't know what that word means.
>Minuette starts laughing.
>Quite loudly.
>The Mayor joins in.
>They're laughing their asses off.

>"Wow...Fluttershy, you can't be serious."
>Minuette's voice is stilted with laughter.
>"Eight-oh-eight's so Beta you can watch classic episodes of terrible shows on him."
>...You think you get that crack at you.
>Mayor Mare nudges Minuette.
>"Not to mention, Fluttershy; he can hardly even look at me without realizing he's calling me -sir-. And trembling."
>Minuette snickers.
>"Plus he's a coltcuddler!"
>Mayor Mare stops laughing.
>"Too far, Employee 247."
>"I call'em as I see'em."
>Fluttershy is shaking with rage.
>Time Turner gives you a grin.
>"What'd I tell you man? Crazy. Terrible. Ponies."
>Derpy frowns.
>"...So this isn't audience participation?"
"N-no Derpy."
>"Aww...I got to do the time warp once!"
"..that's nice Derpy."
>"HELLO!"
>Fluttershy screams.
>"I SAID ANONYMOUS BEAT ME AND HAD HIS WAY WITH ME!"
>Mayor Mare wipes something off her glasses.
>"Eight-zero-eight, did you beat her and have your way with her?"
"NO!"
>That came out very panicked and awkward and terrible.
>You sounded so guilty. Even though you didn't do anything.
>Mayor Mare gives you a look.
>"Fluttershy, go home. You've ruined this movie for everyone."
>Fluttershy screams. But all that comes out is an
>"eep...s-s-sorry."
>Mayor Mare rolls her eyes.
>"I expected so much more out of you. You know you'll have to pay to have this screen repaired."
>Fluttershy blushes.
>"Oh..oh...oh no...that's probably expensive."
>Time Turner snaps.
>"Well you should've thought about that before RUINING THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE!...And insulting my buddy!"
>He gives you a nod.
>"I got your back, bud."
>Twilight runs up to Fluttershy and she looks at everyone.
>Everyone but you and Derpy are laughing at these wild accusations.
>Even the interns, though they probably have no idea what's going on.
>They flee the scene.
>Derpy looks at you and raises her eyebrows.
>"That was weird."
"Y-yeah."
>"...Who wants pizza?"

>Night At The Pizza Place. In Equestria.
>You get a nice booth to sit at.
>And you all pack in tight.
>After the initial twenty minutes of "Those ponies are crazy" the topic changes.
>Mostly because two of the interns, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom realize their sisters are being talked about.
>Time Turner still seems disappointed.
>"It had to be in the villain song...I mean, I was even there for the invasion."
>He nurses a root beer float.
>"I wanted to hear the villain song, they're the best songs."
>You laugh a little.
>Derpy clears her voice.
>"Okay...OKAY. Uhm...it goes...Moose go doot-da-da-doot-da-da-doot-doooo."
"Uhm.."
>"Just do it real slow-like okay?"
>You do.
>And Derpy begins singing, horrifically off-key, the This Day Reprise.
>Time Turner gets a goofy grin and laughs.
>Minuette snickers at it.
>The Mayor sips some coffee and just smiles.
>Dinky joins in the singing.
>The Cutie Mark Crusaders help with the evil laugh at the end.
>Time Turner sighs happily.
>"That was absolutely terrible. Thank you."
>Derpy grins.
>The pizza is served and everyone helps themselves.
"Uhm...sir, 247--Minuette. Thanks...F-for back there."
>"Anonymous, these things happen when you're around Fluttershy...I just hoped you'd be the one to balance her out."
>Time Turner snarks. "Try a straight jacket next time."
>"Eight-zero-eight, you're a kiss-up loser."
>Minuette tips her glass to you.
>"But even you don't deserve to be part of psychoshy's conquest. And that's coming from me."
"Uh...thank you?"
>"Yes thank me, because I really dislike you."
"I gathered that."
>She sticks her tongue out at you and some cheese falls off her slice.
>Glorious justice.
>Derpy leans her head against you.
>"Uhm...Moose."
>She strokes your chest.
>Because you don't have your shirt. Still.
>"You uhm...Moose, I like you."
"Y-yeah... y-you're c-cool too, Derpy."
>"Do you want to...uhm...go to a movie next week?"
"As a d-date?'
>Minuette looks disgusted by the whole thing.
>Time Turner gives you a look that says "Give her the dick".
>You smile.
"Yeah. I'd like that a lot."
>She licks your cheek.
>Collective "awws", and one "boo, you suck".
>The battle is far from over.
>But you've got good friends.
>Within the system.
>And though you're just a cog in the machine.
>The other ones turn with you.
>And that's why you're here.
>And not getting raped.
>Again.
>By Fucking Fluttershy