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- from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel General #354
- part 1: https://pastebin.com/R8j8YfHL
- part 2: https://pastebin.com/QfjSgGKV
- part 3: https://pastebin.com/AiRzfCgp
- ----
- >"Now while most of you fellas know him for his pole routines and videos that'd give any church goer a stroke, he's also got some history in other parts of the entertainment industry, such as comedy."
- Did you know this was happening tonight?
- >"No clue"
- >"And so without further adieu, please give a warm welcome to Angel Dust."
- >Clapping and cheering soon mixed in with the smog of cigar smoke and odors as the spider in the kinky boots walked onto the stage.
- >He picks up the microphone with confidence that you wished you had yourself.
- >"Evening guys and guys, gotta love me the smell of steak and sulfur at 8, eh?"
- >His first joke is rewarded by a few laughs.
- That's him
- >"Who?"
- The guy I was just talking about, the spider guy. Also one of my regulars at the station
- >After the reminder, you were silent again.
- >"Now, this place hasn't changed one bit since I fell down here, you even got that same chubster in the back, giving anyone who walks in a death glare."
- >You all turn around and sure enough you see a chunky demon in with a burger that the me he probably named "Artery Annihilator".
- >"Aside from that, place is dim as ever, leak in the corner that hasn't been fixed, and a guy can get a good piece of meat on their plate and in the last stall in the men's room."
- >Another wave of laughter reaches your ears after that line.
- >And for a half an hour, Angel continues making joke after joke with ease, which didn't surprise you, with how witty he already was at the station.
- >"And did I mention I ain't even sober? Had a few of them complimentary drinks backstage before coming on? I ain't fully drunk yet, but tomorrow I'm gonna down a bottle of Tylenol before going to the studio."
- >After some more laughter the spider was given a round of applause as he took a bow.
- >And just like that, the mixed rock came back on, and the slow-laid back atmosphere seeped back in.
- >By then you and Via had finished eating and had the bill sent to your table
- -
- >Only then did it come to your attention that you didn't know what currency was used down here.
- >This was hell, just about anyone could be sent down here regardless of their gender, race, or class. The only requirement was to be a shitty person.
- >So in a place like this, what did you use.
- >Via then answered by opening up her wallet and pulling out a sum Thomas Jeffersons, and some Andrew Jackson's.
- You aren't paying the full bill are you?
- >"I'm the rich one here, it only makes sense."
- >You may have only seen this as a get together, the voice in the back of your head yelled at you to pay.
- >And after a small debate, you and Octavia agreed to split it.
- >You two left the bar and began walking
- >"Where to now?"
- >You weren't sure for a moment, but after checking your pocket and feeling the pepper spray you packed. You decided on just walking around for a bit.
- >"You want us to just walk for a bit?"
- It's not like we have anything better to do, might as well go sight seeing.
- >"Well, I guess we could. It's been nearly a century since I've been in Pentagram."
- >And so you two walked around, despite the chances of either of you getting jumped being higher than a hippie, it was sort of calming.
- >Then came more talk between you two.
- So, how long have you known Charlie?
- >"Since we were kids, so a few centuries."
- >You waited a few seconds for Octavia to continue, but you soon realized she wasn't.
- >So you tried again
- Was she always this bubbly?
- >"Yes, more so when we were younger, I reckon I'd hung myself today if she didn't mellow out a tiny bit."
- So what about that Helsa chick you mentioned?
- >"She and her brother Seviathan were also our friends. Charlie and Sev even dated for a bit. Charlie and Helsa HATE each other today though"
- >You wanted to ask more but you thought it best not to pry, your gut telling you change the subject for the sake of your life.
- >Which didn't require much when the two of you spotted the giant amusement park up ahead.
- Is that Loo Loo land?
- -
- >"Please, don't even try to compare it to this beauty here. You're looking at Luu Luu World, the origami and superior amusement park."
- >The place looks like a kid's sugar high dream come true, a giant roller coaster, lights that would put a disco to shame, and other neat attractions.
- >You two stared in awe at it, like a light house in the middle of a stormy night
- >It was right then that you knew what would obviously make tonight a instant win
- >But from what you could infer, the place was as expensive as Disney.
- >And you definitely didn't have any hidden fortune or wealth to buy either of you tickets.
- >So, for whatever reason, you began contemplating on whether or not breaking into the Devil's Amusement park was worth the risk, when you felt Octavia tap you again.
- >She held two tickets in front of you, and smirked
- >"I got these just a few weeks ago. Dad doesn't know of course."
- Who sent them?
- >"Helsa actually, she may be a bitch now, but she used to be decent."
- >She looked over at the park, then back to you.
- >"So, want to go?"
- >You said yes without hesitating
- >And one taxi ride later, you both stood outside the park entrance holding your tickets.
- >You both were met by two 11 foot gargoyles, wearing shirts with the word "SECURITY" printed in bold text
- >"Tickets?" One of them asked
- >You both held out your tickets, and the gargoyle examined them
- >"Aight, enjoy your night princess, and whoever the fuck you are."
- >The gargoyles stepped aside and you two walked in.
- >You immediately smelled what smelled like every desert and carnival dish altogether in one mouth watering dish
- >Music blared from every corner of the park
- >All in all, it was fantastic
- So, where do we go first?
- >"Rollercoaster, just try not to vomit up dinner please."
- >You both went over the the big one you saw earlier, looking even scarier up close.
- >The line wasn't as long as you expected, probably due to how expensive this place was
- >But it was worth it.
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