Garble: King of the Internet (stupid/funny)

Jul 23rd, 2013
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  1. >Be the most alpha dragon there is
  2. >Got my crew of other dragons who wish they were me
  3. >Got my cave loaded with swag and gems and shit
  4. >Fucking awesome to be me
  5. >Problem is its raining
  6. >So nobody wants to do shit
  7. >Buncha faggots, I swear
  8. >Perfect weather to play full tackle phoenix egg toss
  9. >Well whatever, guess I'll go hang with someone
  10. >Fizzle has the closest cave so I fly there
  11. >Land right at the mouth of the cave on a ledge
  12. >Entire mountain shakes when I land
  13. >Like a boss
  14. >Go inside
  15. "Yo Fizzle! You home?"
  16. >No answer
  17. >Probably hiding from that sweet landing I did
  18. >Whatever, let myself in
  19. >Let him say something
  20. >Sides its a cave, not like they lock
  21. >Go in
  22. >Pathetic pile of gems
  23. >Fizzle you need to get your shit together
  24. >Desk with weird looking glowing box on it
  25. >Dammit Fizzle, what did I tell you about magic stuff
  26. >For a buncha pansy ass---oh look
  27. >There's stuff on the thing
  28. >Buncha pictures of weird looking dudes flexing
  29. >The fuck?
  30. >They're writing about their muscles
  31. >Keep asking each other if they lift
  32. >I wouldn't say so out loud but I'm confused
  33. >Why does Fizzle have a magic box with men on it?
  34. >I move the thing...and an arrow moves on the box
  35. >Push the button
  36. >Another...thing opens
  37. >OMFG
  38. >I'm laughing really loud
  39. >There's ponies, ponies everywhere
  40. >All stallions, all making out
  41. >"H-hey...Garble...when did you come in?"
  42. >I'm still laughing so hard I'm starting to cry
  43. >No homo, shit happens
  44. >Fizzle is standing by the cave entrance
  45. >He musta been out when I got here
  46. >He's doing his 'I think I fucked up' stance
  47. >So lame
  48. "Fizzle....why the fuck do you have a magic box with ponies kissing each other?"
  49. >Fizzle jumps and runs over
  50. >Tries to push me away
  51. >I give him a shove
  52. >He doesn't relent, keeps trying to pull me away from his pony faggot box
  53. >"Garblewhyareyouinmycave!?"
  54. >Oh shit, when did Fizzle learn how to yell?
  55. >And he's a lot stronger than I remember
  56. >Better remind him who's number one alpha dragon
  57. >Get up and push him to the ground
  58. "Your cave is in MY volcano! I can come and go when I want!"
  59. >He winces and nods
  60. >Damn fucking right
  61. >Sit back down and look at the magic box
  62. >He's next to me in a second
  63. "Besides its raining so all the other bros are being bitches. I'm trying to find something to do"
  64. >"Oh we can...ya know...go...look for...girls and...stuff?"
  65. "Yea Fizzle, girls love the rain."
  66. >Motion to the glowing box
  67. "What's with this thing? Why is it ponies and jacked guys all over it?"
  68. >Fizzle fidgets like he always does and goes for the move-y thing
  69. >Put my claw on it
  70. >He aint getting out of this one
  71. >"Oh....that...that's just...4chan! Haha yea it's a site where a buncha...f-f-faggots make fun of each other!"
  72. >I eye him but am slightly intrigued
  73. >This could pass the time
  74. "Faggots being faggots eh? We should just tell them they're faggots then!"
  75. >Fizzle's turn to look at me funny
  76. >I don't know why, it's a brillant plan
  77. >Surprised nobody thought of it before
  78. >I click the thing and one of the pictures opens
  79. >"Homolove general"
  80. >Best place to start
  81. >More stallions making out and...
  82. >...ew...
  83. >Hearts and blushing and ugh
  84. "How do I tell them they're faggots?"
  85. >Fizzle wipes his brow and points at this box thing with a buncha keys
  86. >Whatever
  87. >He helps me find the text box
  88. >Write my masterpiece
  89. 'Ur all faget'
  90. >I think that's how its spelt
  91. >Click submit
  92. >Shit bitches at me
  93. >Fizzle studders out something about typing some jumbled words first
  94. >Whatever
  95. >Try again
  96. >Successful
  97. "Bet they're gonna all cry, eh Fizzle?"
  98. >"Yea...I...I guess so Garble"
  99. >Wait a few minutes
  100. >The arrow turns into a circle and...
  101. >Hey there's my life changing insult
  102. >And....hey!
  103. >They put up more stallions with their....ugh son of a bitch!
  104. >I don't need to see stallion cock!
  105. >I don't care how thick and impressive it looks
  106. >A few of them wrote back some stuff
  107. >One even said I must be gay!
  108. >Me?
  109. >Gay?
  110. >How could you even make that mistake?!
  111. >Type out another reply, this one a little more to the point
  112. 'Fuk u faget!'
  113. >There
  114. >That should settle that
  115. >Who's the biggest, baddest alpha dragon?
  116. >Bet these faggots won't be able to hand--
  117. >More pictures of cocks and balls and shit!
  118. >One of them asks me if I lift?
  119. >Course I lift, and I tell him I do
  120. >Another calls me a faggot back
  121. >So I tell him he's the biggest faggot
  122. >And this douchebag says I'm a virgin with no girlfriend!
  123. >Ok thats it
  124. >This guy is gonna get it
  125. >Tell him how I have a hot as fuck dragon girlfriend and how I hate him
  126. >And of course, tell him he's a gigantic faggot
  127. >Even bigger than the first biggest faggot
  128. >I wish I had a picture of my girl hanging off my arm
  129. >Would put his ass in his place
  130. >There
  131. "See Fizzle, that's how you....what's so funny?"
  132. >Fizzle looks away and kicks the ground
  133. >Whatever
  134. >Click that circle making button
  135. >Most of them don't know what to do
  136. >Someone said I'm just being a troll
  137. >Whatever the fuck that means
  138. >Think his bitch ass knows better
  139. >Another pointed out I'm a dragon and....
  140. >Umm...
  141. "Fizzle get out"
  142. >"B-but its my cave!"
  143. "Come back in 10 minutes! I gotta....insult this guy. You're too young!"
  144. >Come on get the fuck out
  145. >He does so, but not before taking some gems from his shit pile and flying off
  146. >What a loser
  147. >Once he leaves I look again
  148. >Huge dragon with a huge cock
  149. >Jizzing all over this massive fuckton of gems and treasure and shit
  150. >It's red too
  151. >...the dragon you fucking perv!
  152. >Kinda looks like me
  153. >Fuck man when I get older I'm gonna be the fucking man
  154. >More than I already am
  155. >Slide a claw down below and....
  156. >It's not gay if you rub one off to your future self, is it?
  157. >Course it ain't, you can't be gay for yourself
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