Garble: King of the Internet (stupid/funny)

>Be the most alpha dragon there is
>Got my crew of other dragons who wish they were me
>Got my cave loaded with swag and gems and shit
>Fucking awesome to be me
>Problem is its raining
>So nobody wants to do shit
>Buncha faggots, I swear
>Perfect weather to play full tackle phoenix egg toss
>Well whatever, guess I'll go hang with someone
>Fizzle has the closest cave so I fly there
>Land right at the mouth of the cave on a ledge
>Entire mountain shakes when I land
>Like a boss
>Go inside
"Yo Fizzle!  You home?"
>No answer
>Probably hiding from that sweet landing I did
>Whatever, let myself in
>Let him say something
>Sides its a cave, not like they lock
>Go in
>Pathetic pile of gems
>Fizzle you need to get your shit together
>Desk with weird looking glowing box on it
>Dammit Fizzle, what did I tell you about magic stuff
>For a buncha pansy ass---oh look
>There's stuff on the thing
>Buncha pictures of weird looking dudes flexing
>The fuck?
>They're writing about their muscles
>Keep asking each other if they lift
>I wouldn't say so out loud but I'm confused
>Why does Fizzle have a magic box with men on it?
>I move the thing...and an arrow moves on the box
>Push the button
>Another...thing opens
>OMFG
>I'm laughing really loud
>There's ponies, ponies everywhere
>All stallions, all making out
>"H-hey...Garble...when did you come in?"
>I'm still laughing so hard I'm starting to cry
>No homo, shit happens
>Fizzle is standing by the cave entrance
>He musta been out when I got here
>He's doing his 'I think I fucked up' stance
>So lame
"Fizzle....why the fuck do you have a magic box with ponies kissing each other?"
>Fizzle jumps and runs over
>Tries to push me away
>I give him a shove
>He doesn't relent, keeps trying to pull me away from his pony faggot box
>"Garblewhyareyouinmycave!?"
>Oh shit, when did Fizzle learn how to yell?
>And he's a lot stronger than I remember
>Better remind him who's number one alpha dragon
>Get up and push him to the ground
"Your cave is in MY volcano!  I can come and go when I want!"
>He winces and nods
>Damn fucking right
>Sit back down and look at the magic box
>He's next to me in a second
"Besides its raining so all the other bros are being bitches.  I'm trying to find something to do"
>"Oh we can...ya know...go...look for...girls and...stuff?"
"Yea Fizzle, girls love the rain."
>Motion to the glowing box
"What's with this thing?  Why is it ponies and jacked guys all over it?"
>Fizzle fidgets like he always does and goes for the move-y thing
>Put my claw on it
>He aint getting out of this one
>"Oh....that...that's just...4chan!  Haha yea it's a site where a buncha...f-f-faggots make fun of each other!"
>I eye him but am slightly intrigued
>This could pass the time
"Faggots being faggots eh?  We should just tell them they're faggots then!"
>Fizzle's turn to look at me funny
>I don't know why, it's a brillant plan
>Surprised nobody thought of it before
>I click the thing and one of the pictures opens
>"Homolove general"
>Best place to start
>More stallions making out and...
>...ew...
>Hearts and blushing and ugh
"How do I tell them they're faggots?"
>Fizzle wipes his brow and points at this box thing with a buncha keys
>Whatever
>He helps me find the text box
>Write my masterpiece
'Ur all faget'
>I think that's how its spelt
>Click submit
>Shit bitches at me
>Fizzle studders out something about typing some jumbled words first
>Whatever
>Try again
>Successful
"Bet they're gonna all cry, eh Fizzle?"
>"Yea...I...I guess so Garble"
>Wait a few minutes
>The arrow turns into a circle and...
>Hey there's my life changing insult
>And....hey!
>They put up more stallions with their....ugh son of a bitch!
>I don't need to see stallion cock!
>I don't care how thick and impressive it looks
>A few of them wrote back some stuff
>One even said I must be gay!
>Me?
>Gay?
>How could you even make that mistake?!
>Type out another reply, this one a little more to the point
'Fuk u faget!'
>There
>That should settle that
>Who's the biggest, baddest alpha dragon?
>Bet these faggots won't be able to hand--
>More pictures of cocks and balls and shit!
>One of them asks me if I lift?
>Course I lift, and I tell him I do
>Another calls me a faggot back
>So I tell him he's the biggest faggot
>And this douchebag says I'm a virgin with no girlfriend!
>Ok thats it
>This guy is gonna get it
>Tell him how I have a hot as fuck dragon girlfriend and how I hate him
>And of course, tell him he's a gigantic faggot
>Even bigger than the first biggest faggot
>I wish I had a picture of my girl hanging off my arm
>Would put his ass in his place
>There
"See Fizzle, that's how you....what's so funny?"
>Fizzle looks away and kicks the ground
>Whatever
>Click that circle making button
>Most of them don't know what to do
>Someone said I'm just being a troll
>Whatever the fuck that means
>Think his bitch ass knows better
>Another pointed out I'm a dragon and....
>Umm...
"Fizzle get out"
>"B-but its my cave!"
"Come back in 10 minutes! I gotta....insult this guy. You're too young!"
>Come on get the fuck out
>He does so, but not before taking some gems from his shit pile and flying off
>What a loser
>Once he leaves I look again
>Huge dragon with a huge cock
>Jizzing all over this massive fuckton of gems and treasure and shit
>It's red too
>...the dragon you fucking perv!
>Kinda looks like me
>Fuck man when I get older I'm gonna be the fucking man
>More than I already am
>Slide a claw down below and....
>It's not gay if you rub one off to your future self, is it?
>Course it ain't, you can't be gay for yourself