Dark Drink

The_Mungoman, July 1, 2012; 21:53 / FB 860
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>Sunday morning
>Epic yawn
>Scuffle over into the kitchen
>NEEEED coffee
>Your yellow fluffy pony is already there
>Squeaks "Hi!"
>You grunt in reply
>Heap the instant coffee in a cup and pour hot water on it
>Dat smell
>The fluffy seems to have noticed it as well
>He knows coffee already, or "daddy dawk dwink" as he calls it
>It rather fascinates him, with its intriguing smell
>You sip at the hot black liquid and feel the caffeine coursing through your veins
>FRIGGIN' FINALLY
>The fluffy crunchily eats the grapes and the walnuts you cracked for him, but still gives a keen look at the steaming cup
>After his breakfast he asks: "Why onwy daddy dwink daddy dwink?"
>"Because... because it's the daddy drink" you say redundantly
>"Why?" the yellow puffball asks again
>"It's not tasty at all, not for fluffies, but it makes you awake" you try to explain as simply as possible
>With a little perk he ultimately inquires "Can have?"
>You've been dreading that question
>But your initial "No" makes way for a much more interesting thought
>EXPERIMENT TIME
>"You know what? Why not."
>The fluffy did not expect that
>With an excited squeal he scuttles to the cup, but you hold it away from him
>"It's still hot, you could burn yourself! You need to wait for it cool"
>"Oopsie! Fwuffy wait.”
>You pour a little into his empty water bowl
>"There you go. Now--"
>Too late
>He already starts lapping the brown dink and instantly recoils
>"BLLAABLABLBLBLBLPPFFFRT" is all he manages, shaking his head rapidly with his tongue hanging out
>"I told you it wasn't tasty" you chuckle
>He is actually licking the table top in an attempt to get rid of the bitter taste
>But then he goes back to drinking the stuff
>You can't help but feel a little awed as you watch the fluffy, that is used to either sweet or slightly savoury foods drink some of the most bitter stuff you know
>Give him a little pinch of sugar afterwards as a guerdon for his plight
>After a minute or two he shakes his head again
>Suddenly he freezes
>His pupils are shrunken
>...What?
>You lean closer to the transfixed fluffy
>All of a sudden he shouts "PWAY" and flops off the table, landing semi-niftily
>And by that you mean he hits the floor like a rock
>Doesn't seem to care though
>He starts jumping around on the couch, shouting stuff like "Hoobadareebiedeebiedoopy", "Fwoppy-doppy-goppy-noop", “Fwuffnuffhuffshuff" and more ingenious garble like that
>He's doing somersaults in midair
>Not good
>This might be one of your worse ideas
Two hours later
>Correction
>WORST FRUKKIN' IDEA IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE
>The fluffy has broken three vases, nearly smashed the television and almost set the bookshelf on fire
>Within the last five minutes
>Thank God he didn't get the idea to drink coffee in the evening, he would've kept you up all night
>Right now he is running in small circles in a desperate attempt to catch his own tail
>He comes to a screeching halt
>His eye twitches
>With a yell of "BWOCKS" he zips off to his toybox with you trailing in his wake
>The frenzied fluffy starts rapidly building with his duplos
>After what seems like way too short a time the fluffy is standing on a rickety tower which is as tall as you
>The yellow fluffy stares you square in the eye with a huge grin on his face
>"Fwuffy king of woom! KING OF WOOOOWLD!!"
>Standing on his hind hooves, he giggles, then gives a Grade A maniacal laugh that would make Mark Hamill proud
>Suddenly, he falls over and sends the tower crashing over him
>Epic pandemonium
>Pull him out of the heap of coloured plastic
>He is fast asleep
>He won't remember any of this when he wakes up
>Tuck him in bed
>Mental note: Cut back your coffee intake