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Tetrikitty

clownmounting messages

Tetrikitty
Apr 11th, 2022
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  1. Message 20
  2. From drama Sun Apr 3 21:39:47 2022 [CEST]
  3. Date: Sun, 3 Apr 2022 22:39 BST
  4. From: drama
  5. To: capita
  6. Subject: Fool Pile: Mounting
  7. Cc: inside
  8.  
  9. Hi!
  10.  
  11. Here are the mounting messages for FOOL1 to FOOL10, plus the placeholder FOOL11 for every fool after that.
  12.  
  13. Please don't hesitate to ask/suggest/critisise/etc :)
  14.  
  15.  
  16.  
  17. Message = '[FOOL1] takes two steps back, then runs towards [MOUNT] and hops onto [MOUNT-possessive] back'
  18. if ([FOOL10]==mounted)
  19. then Message += ', with the teetering pile formed by [FOOL3], [FOOL4], [FOOL6] and [FOOL10] behind [FOOL1-objective]'
  20. else if ([FOOL6]==mounted)
  21. then Message += ', with the unstable pile formed by [FOOL3], [FOOL4] and [FOOL6] behind [FOOL1-objective]'
  22. else if ([FOOL4]==mounted)
  23. then Message += ', with [FOOL3] and [FOOL4] lying on top of each other behind [FOOL1-objective]'
  24. else if ([FOOL3]==mounted)
  25. then Message += ', with [FOOL3] lying on [FOOL3-possessive] belly behind [FOOL1-objective]'
  26. else if ([FOOL2]==mounted)
  27. then Message += ', with [FOOL2] riding [MOUNT] behind [FOOL1-objective]'
  28. Message += '.'
  29.  
  30. Message = '[FOOL2] climbs onto [MOUNT]\'s back'
  31. if ([FOOL3] OR [FOOL1]==mounted)
  32. then {
  33. Message += ', behind '
  34. if ([FOOL10]==mounted)
  35. then Message += ' the teetering pile formed by [FOOL3], [FOOL4], [FOOL6] and [FOOL10].'
  36. else if ([FOOL6]==mounted)
  37. then Message += ' the unstable pile formed by [FOOL3], [FOOL4] and [FOOL6].'
  38. else if ([FOOL4]==mounted)
  39. then Message += ' [FOOL3] and [FOOL4], who are lying on top of each other.'
  40. else if ([FOOL3]==mounted)
  41. then Message += ' [FOOL3], who is lying on [FOOL3-possessive] belly.'
  42. else Message += ' [FOOL1], holding on to [FOOL1]\'s [FOOL1-random_clothing] for support.'
  43. } else Message += '.'
  44.  
  45. Message = 'Wriggling [FOOL3-possessive] way between [FOOL1] and [FOOL2], [FOOL3] manages to get [FOOL3-possessive] belly onto [MOUNT-possessive] back, [FOOL3-possessive] legs flailing comically behind [FOOL3-objective].'
  46.  
  47. Message = '[FOOL4] walks up to [MOUNT] holding a ladder, sets it up against [MOUNT-possessive] flank and lies face-down on top of [FOOL3]\'s back.'
  48.  
  49. Message = '[FOOL5] gives [MOUNT] a big, wet smooch on the lips, then quickly gets under [MOUNT-possessive] belly, clinging on to the saddle straps for dear life.'
  50.  
  51. Message = 'With a fearsome yell that sounds remarkably like "{Pancakes|My buns are on fire|...}!", [FOOL6] rushes towards [MOUNT], then launches into a leap which evolves into a perfect somersault... and lands on [FOOL6-possessive] face at the other side of [MOUNT]. [FOOL6-pronoun] gets back on [FOOL6-possessive] feet and just hops on top of [FOOL4], facing the opposite way.'
  52.  
  53. Message = '[FOOL7] examines the pile before [FOOL7-objective], then walks up to [MOUNT], whispers something in [MOUNT-possessive] ear and [MOUNT]\'s eyes flare in panic. [FOOL7] gets a firm grip on [FOOL1]\'s [FOOL1-random_clothing] and pulls [FOOL7-objective]self up, sitting astride [MOUNT] facing [FOOL1].'
  54.  
  55. Message = '[FOOL8] gives a loud whistle, then breaks into a run toward [MOUNT]. When [FOOL8-pronoun] is close enough, [FOOL8-pronoun] jumps as if to hop on the poor creature\'s back--only to stick [FOOL8-possessive] foot in a pail of whitewash that just happened to be there. Fortunately, [FOOL7] and [FOOL2] manage to grab [FOOL8-possessive] arm and leg, respectively, and [FOOL8-pronoun] ends up hanging on [MOUNT]\'s left flank.'
  56.  
  57. if ([FOOL8]==mounted)
  58. then Message = 'With another loud whistle, [FOOL9] runs to the other side of [MOUNT], and just tries to mimic [FOOL8]\'s manoeuvre. [FOOL9-pronoun] botches it, though, and ends up with [FOOL9-possessive] nose under [MOUNT]\'s tail, which seems to cause no end of merriment among the troupe. [FOOL7] and [FOOL2] manage to relocate [FOOL9-objective] into a slightly more dignified position.'
  59. else Message = '[FOOL9] gives a loud whistle, then breaks into a run toward [MOUNT]. When [FOOL9-pronoun] is close enough, [FOOL9-pronoun] jumps as if to hop on the poor creature\'s back--only to stick [FOOL9-possessive] foot in a pail of whitewash that just happened to be there. Fortunately, [FOOL7] and [FOOL2] manage to grab [FOOL8-possessive] arm and leg, respectively, and [FOOL8-pronoun] ends up hanging on [MOUNT]\'s left flank.'
  60.  
  61. Message = '[FOOL10] approaches [MOUNT], uses [FOOL5]\'s left cheek as a stirrup and several parts of [FOOL8]\'s anatomy for balance and purchase. [FOOL10-pronoun] slowly but surely makes [FOOL10-possessive] way to the top of the pile, accompanied by an assortment of grunts, moans and at least one scream from the other Fools. Eventually [FOOL10-pronoun] makes it to the top of the pile where [FOOL10-pronoun] sits, triumphant. [MOUNT] does not look particularly impressed, however.'
  62.  
  63. Message = '[FOOL11] tries to get on top of [MOUNT], and nearly causes the entire troupe to collapse. [FOOL11-pronoun] manages to reach [FOOL-possessive] goal, much to the chagrin of several other fools below [FOOL11-objective].'
  64.  
  65.  
  66. Hugs,
  67.  
  68. Latent Drama/Inside Joke/etc...
  69.  
  70.  
  71.  
  72.  
  73. Message 21
  74. From drama Wed Apr 6 22:14:25 2022 [CEST]
  75. Date: Wed, 6 Apr 2022 23:14 BST
  76. From: drama
  77. To: capita
  78. Subject: Fool Pile: Dismounting
  79. Cc: inside
  80.  
  81.  
  82. Hi!
  83.  
  84. I have the first batch of dismounting messages for you to peruse--and hopefully,
  85. use too :)
  86.  
  87. Stage 2. Dismounting
  88.  
  89. Message = '[FOOL11] deftly climbs [FOOL11-possessive] down from the pile of fools, stepping on everyone\'s toes both figuratively and literally. [FOOL11-pronoun] reaches the ground safely and gives a quick bow, followed by a pained whimper.'
  90.  
  91. if ([FOOL11]==mounted) then dismount(FOOL11)
  92. Message = '[FOOL10] flexes and, with an audible grunt from [FOOL6], [FOOL10-pronoun] does a double-backward flip and lands on [FOOL10-possessive] feet. Remembering [FOOL10-possessive] training at the last second, [FOOL10-pronoun] loses [FOOL10-possessive] balance and falls on [FOOL10-possessive] butt on one of the {cowpies|puddles|pools of unmentionable goo} that add to the area\'s decor.'
  93.  
  94. Message = 'Realising that [FOOL9] is picking [FOOL9-possessive] nose and wiping [FOOL9-possessive] finger on [FOOL7]\'s [FOOL7-random_clothing], [FOOL/-pronoun] lets go of [FOOL9] without a care for [FOOL9-possessive] safety. A sickening crunch and much groaning and whimpering ensues.'
  95.  
  96. Message = 'Suddenly, [FOOL8] starts struggling, until the best efforts of [FOOL7] and [FOOL2] are not enough to hold on to [FOOL8-objective]. [FOOL8-pronoun] falls to the floor, on [FOOL8-possessive] back, and throws a tantrum worthy of an Ankhian toddler, then gets up and leaves, all the rage seemingly gone.'
  97.  
  98. Message = 'With a quick wink to the other fools, [FOOL7] slides to one side and, just when [FOOL7-pronoun] is about to drop off the [MOUNT], [FOOL7-pronoun] quickly curls up into a ball, spins just the right amount and lands in a handstand. With a slow-motion cartwheel, [FOOL7-pronoun] returns to an upright position, pleased with [FOOL7-objective]self.'
  99.  
  100. if ([FOOL10]==mounted) then dismount([FOOL10])
  101. Message = 'In an unfortunate fit of inspiration, [FOOL6] starts to tickle [FOOL4], which causes [FOOL4-objective] to shake hard enough to throw [FOOL6] to the ground. It might have been a graceful landing. It is not.'
  102.  
  103. Message = '[FOOL5] releases one of [MOUNT]\'s saddle straps, and swings backwards in a perfect arc that gives [FOOL5-objective] the right momentum to land on [FOOL5-possessive] feet, light as a feather.'
  104.  
  105. Message = '[FOOL4] manages to shift [FOOL4-possessive] position with only a bit of effort, ending up on all fours on top of [FOOL3], who doesn\'t sound too thrilled about the improvement. Then [FOOL4] gently climbs down from [MOUNT]\'s back and lands on [FOOL4-possessive] feet with just the slightest wobble.'
  106.  
  107. if ([FOOL4]==mounted) then dismount([FOOL4])
  108. Message = 'Battered and bruised, [FOOL3] descends from [MOUNT] and stretches [FOOL3-possessive] limbs with a long sigh of relief.'
  109.  
  110. Message = 'Holding on to [FOOL1]\'s shoulder for balance, [FOOL2] descends from the back of [MOUNT].'
  111.  
  112. Message = '[FOOL1] gets down from the saddle with a quick hop.'
  113.  
  114.  
  115. Hugs,
  116.  
  117. Latent Joke/Inside Drama--no, wait...
  118.  
  119.  
  120.  
  121. Message 22
  122. From drama Mon Apr 11 19:17:16 2022 [CEST]
  123. Date: Mon, 11 Apr 2022 20:17 BST
  124. From: drama
  125. To: capita
  126. Subject: Foolish falls
  127. Cc: inside
  128.  
  129.  
  130. Hi!
  131.  
  132. Here are the three messages for fools falling off their mount:
  133.  
  134. Regular (20%-80% success)
  135. Message = '[FOOL] turns [FOOL-possessive] fall into a somersault, landing safely on [FOOL-possessive] feet.'
  136.  
  137. Critical failure (0%-19%)
  138. Message = '[FOOL] tries to keep [FOOL-possessive] balance, but doesn\'t quite make it and lands painfully on [FOOL-possessive] buttocks. Ouch.'
  139.  
  140. Critical success (81%-100%)
  141. Message = '[FOOL] effortlessly turns [FOOL-possessive] fall into a triple, backwards somersault, landing in a perfect handstand. [FOOL-pronoun] moves back a bit and then pushes [FOOL-objective]self into an upright position, from which [FOOL-pronoun] skips back to [MOUNT], whistling a cheerful tune.'
  142.  
  143.  
  144.  
  145. Thank you for including me in this :)
  146.  
  147. Latent Drama
  148.  
  149.  
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