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May 26th, 2018
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  1. <?PHP
  2.  
  3. $postTxt = "
  4. <h1>Raging Bender</h1>
  5. There's no part of that sentence I didn't like! I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy! Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?
  6. <h2>Bender</h2>
  7. Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried? That's the ONLY thing about being a slave. Alright, let's mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew. Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! Is the Space Pope reptilian!? I'll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger.
  8. <ul>
  9.     <li>I saw you with those two ladies of the evening at Elzars. Explain that.</li>
  10.     <li>You mean while I'm sleeping in it?</li>
  11.     <li>We're also Santa Claus!</li>
  12.     <li>It's a T. It goes tuh.</li>
  13. </ul>
  14. <h3>The Series Has Landed</h3>
  15. Tell them I hate them. You are the last hope of the universe. Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
  16. <h4>In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela</h4>
  17. No, just a regular mistake. I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. You know, I was God once. Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket. I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
  18. <ol>
  19.     <li>Say it in Russian!</li>
  20.     <li>Alright, let's mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.</li>
  21.     <li>Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused.</li>
  22. </ol>
  23. <h5>Fry and the Slurm Factory</h5>
  24. It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you? I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography.
  25. ";
  26.  
  27. $bold = true;
  28. $italics =  true;
  29. $underline = true;
  30.  
  31. $keyword = 'Space';
  32. $replacer = $keyword;
  33. if($bold) $replacer = '<strong>'.$replacer.'</strong>';
  34. if($italics) $replacer = '<em>'.$replacer.'</em>';
  35. if($underline) $replacer = '<span style="text-decoration:underline;">'.$replacer.'</span>';
  36. echo preg_replace('/\s'.$keyword.'\s/', $replacer, $postTxt);
  37.        
  38.  
  39. ?>
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