Thread 59: Stories 61-75

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CD
>Vekir
"Celestia"

"Oh cake, sweet sweet cake, how I have missed thee. How long have we been apart, fifteen minutes? Twenty? Gasp, thirty? Let us never part so long again.

With a giggle to herself, the sun princess floated the plate upon which her slice sat, artfully swiping a delectable bite with her fork and slowly bringing it to her lips. The heavenly taste of baked confection danced across her tongue as she slid it off her fork with her lips, savoring the flavor before she swallowed.

"Ahhh..."

She took another, larger bite, and went to place the plate back onto the table...

Except it didn't.

Because someone had put their head in the way.

>...

"..."

>Hallo Sillessia Princess.

"Hello Vekir. To what do I owe the pleasure of you replacing my table with your head?"

>I have this.

The large white alicorn blinked as notebook was held up to her face, the page it had been turned to holding several crude drawings depicting ponies, Canterlot, changelings, and manner of other things the city held.

"Uhm...may I ask what this is about, Vekir?"

>Oh! Allow me to explainate, the head of metal has reached a decision about Vekir's ambassadoring!

"Really now?"

>Yes, Vekir must journey out to strange lands, gain knowledge of their ways, and receive the names of their leaders!

"...you're talking about a signature, right?"

>...yes, Vekir meant-yes. Equestrian is hard sometimes.

Celestia's eye lingered on a large spot placed between a depiction of two changelings engaged in 'Facepunch' and a trio of trotting guards.

"Hmm..."

>Will the Silessia Princess sign?

"Vekir, may I be frank?"

>Vekir would prefer you were Silessia, but Vekir will not judge.

"I'm not certain I can sign this, not right now."

>...Vekir can wait!

"No no no, that's not what I mean, it would be irresponsible of me to confirm you're a good ambassador...when I have no idea that you could be one."

>But Vekir has been ambassadoring for weeks!

"You've been having fun for weeks, and by that I mostly mean the petty theft."

>Vekir hasn't been thieving...much.

"...you are literally trying to sneak my fork into your armor."

>...I am ashamed.

"Vekir, if you truly wish to become a great ambassador, to represent your people, to see the world and all its wonder...might I suggest actually doing it?"

>Eh?

Vekir found an alabaster hoof clad in a golden slipper alight gently on her shoulder.

"Go out into the world, Vekir. Fill your book front to back with all the wonders you find, and if you can, the signatures of the leaders you meet. When you've done that, come back, and I will gladly sign this page."

Vekir blinked, then nodded.

>I shall do this, Silessia Princess!

"Excellent."

>...

"...you're...you're supposed to go now."

>Vekir doesn't really know...where she's supposed to start.

Celestia sighed.

"Well for one, find Twilight, make sure your armor is up to the task of travelling, then I would suggest finding passage to the Gryphon Kingdoms, I believe your species have unfinished dealings with them. Oh, and perhaps hire a bodyguard to keep you safe, while I admire your spirit, you are still a small creature in a very big world, you would do well to have someone who knows their way around accompanying you."

>Of course, Silessia Princess, it is so simple! Thank you many times, Vekir will make you proud!

With that, the little blue creature sped off...then came back to carefully place the cake plate back on the table, then sped off again.

"Mother have mercy, I hope I haven't unleashed something horrible on the world."

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>Spitfire
"Barkeep"
~~~

>ZZZzzzzz...zzz..

"HEY!"

>SNK!WHOWHATWHER-...Oowww... head...

"Lady, you can't sleep here."

>...How long was I out?

"Ten hours, five minutes and sixteen seconds. It's two o' six in the afternoon."

>...Barkeep, I need you to tell me something.

"Is it 'which way is the door because I am out of money'? Not to put a point on it, but it better be 'which way is the door because I am out of money'."

>...Did... did I really spend the last few days talking to a robot dog?

"Please repeat?"

>A robot dog. I was actually, like, talking to that, right? He was real? I didn't just dream up I was having a heart to heart with a robot dog who had dreams of being a movie star, right?

"No. You did not talk to a machine with dreams of film stardom."

>Oh dear Celestia I hallucinated that, didn't I? I hallucinated the robot dog.

"There have been no robot dogs in this establishment."

>...Am I really out of money?

"Yes."

>Fuck... fucckk...

"..."

>... Bye.

"Goodbye."

*She leaves*

"..."

'I'm back! Woo, guess that plumbing still works, hey! Where'd she go?'

"Who?"

'The pegasus!'

"Which one?"

'Uh... orange one?'

"There have been no orange pegasi in this establishment."

'...Aw crap, I hallucinated that didn't I? I CAN get drunk!'

"I guess so, mister Cyborg Dog. I hope this does not affect your book deal."

'M'kay. You know any good places to get lunch?'

"South after exiting, fourteen degrees to the left, approximately fifteen hundred hoofsteps in that direction with compensation for elevation."

'...You seem very technical.'

"I've been told this a lot."

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This is WILDLY out of order chronologically.
CD
>Pommel
"Daw"
'???'
[???]
~~~~

"Did you HAVE ta' piss of the bitch that's clearly givin' it ta' him somethin' special?"

The headache the ex-pirate was giving him could only be described as 'like he had swallowed a giant bomb', and she wasn't letting up anytime soon.

It wouldn't be so bad if the Crystal Ponies weren't staring...

>Jackie, seriously. Not now.

"No, see, ya' don't get ta' say that cause now we've got to use the damn train, AGAIN, and why? Because the giant damn alien told the guards not to let us use the portal, and they agreed!"

>...I didn't think she'd be THAT petty about this.

"Did ya' not? Really?"

>...Fine, point.

"So now you know what, I'm gonna rant. You can't stop me!"

>...Fine.

"Good, cause- BLEEDIN' HELL!"

Years of battles and need for split second decisions had honed her instincts, giving her an edge of speed that most ponies could only dream of.

They were not enough.

"ACK!"

A black blur positively ran her over, a shape that didn't even quite reach up past her chest still somehow able to knock her on her side and crawl over her before zooming right past and disappearing down the street.

"...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?"

>Uh... I... I actually don't know. That thing was FAST.

"Was that a pony!? Those felt like hooves! What pony can friggen move like that!?"

>Maybe it's a spell or-

"OHFUCKIT'SCOMINGBACK!"

She was once again bowled over, still unable to outspeed the shadowy blur.

However, instead of crawling over her as it did before, the shape made itself quite settled on her chest, leaving her goggling upwards from her position on her back at a wide eyed creature in her face.

'Sorrysorrysorrysorry!'

A wide eyed face, and for some reason a bag of chocolate bars.

'Iwasjus'runnin'causeIpromisedI'dmakesmoresfer'theclasstomorrowbutEighteenateallthecandyandAh'waslikeOHNOandthenCaddywaslikethestoresopenandthenAh'waslikeZOOOOMandya'kindagotinthewaybutit'smahfaultIshould'agonearoundbutIwasgoin'toofastsoSORRYIboughtyouthis.'

A bag of... some odd and soft treat was placed on her nose, and the ex-pirate stared.

And stared.

And stared.

>...Hi, Two.

"...WHAT THE FU-UMF!"

The speed with which Pommel made his way over and pressed the bag against her mouth would have made Spitfire herself declare he had beaten some kind of record.

>...Don't.

"MRPMMPMH!"

>Trust me, don't.

Wide, curious eyes blinked as the smaller changelings head swiveled back and forth, unsure what the problem was.

>...Could you, uh, could you get off her?

'Sure!'

The air left her as, with one single bounce, she was in the air, floating like a deranged pixie.

After dusting herself off and trying to force the air back into the places it had so quickly left, Daw found herself openly staring at the changeling, who in turn did not seem to mind if her vacant smile was any indication.

"...Yer' short."

'Nu-uh! I'm Two!'

"Yer' too what? Too jumpy?"

>Ah, no. She means she's Two. As in, the number Two.

"...Dang aliens and yer' numbers."

She turned questioning eyes to the bag the little one had forced on her, eyebrow shooting up.

"The he-... heck is this?"

'Marchmalleys! Cause I didn't mean ta' knock ya' over, so that's so ya' can know Ah'm sorry!'

"...Says marshmallow on the bag."

'A duuuuuh! They ain't Marchmalleys till ya' put love in 'em!''

"...Sure. Who the f-... FRICK are you? And Pom if you twitch one more time I'll pop yer' head clean off!"

>Trust me, DON'T.

'I told ya'! I'm Applejack Two!'

"Ain't ya' supposed ta' be in Canterlot? Thought you said they all live there?"

>Ah, well, she's a special case. Mostly due to the-

[THERE YOU ARE!]

A white blur skidded to a halt just before collision, coming to a stop right in front of the still floating changeling.

[What did I tell you about running off on your own?! You know better than that!]

Why she suddenly felt like screaming "Don't tell me what to do!" to someone who was clearly not talking to her, Daw would never know.

'S-sorry, Shiny. It was jus' down the street.'



'Sorry...'

[Good, you should be. This isn't...]

At long, long last, the white stallion noticed the... other white stallion.

[Pommel!]

>Hey, Captain.

His issues with Two seemingly forgotten, the other pony forcefully slapped him on the shoulder. Too forcefully, Pommel noticed. Guy had been working out.

[Ha! Not a captain anymore! Good to see you, man! I heard that you were alive and well from Celly, sorry I didn't get a chance to say hi yet!]

>It's fine, you're obviously pretty busy.

[Never too busy for the guy who just came back from the dead! So... this must be the friend you brought with you, Jacqueline Daw is it? Sorry, looks like Two gave you quite a hit, she's kind of hard to keep down.]

"And you must be prince fu-MFM."

[...]

Nervous eyes flickered, and Pommel just pressed in his hoof a little deeper into her mouth. Nonetheless, it did not take a genius to figure out what prince 'fus hehershing' translated into.

>She uh... she's got social problems? Sailor talk, you know. Used to being around a more... rowdy bunch. Still adjusting!

[...Yeah, I get that a lot.]

Forcefully, Daw ripped the hoof free.

"SURE SOUNDS LIKE IT FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD!"

The hoof came back, but now all it managed to do was stifle some laughter. Silently, Shining Armor's eye began to twitch.

>...I am so sorry.

'Uh, Shiny?

Thankful for the distraction, he turned back to the still remorseful looking changeling.

'Are... are ya' still mad?'

He sighed, gently brushing her mane.

[No, Two, I'm not mad, I was just worried because you ran off. Did you say you were sorry to the nice mare for knocking her over.]

'Y-yeah! I did! I even gave her my extra marchmalleys to show I'm super-super sorry!'

[Good, then that's fine. Promise not to do it again.]

'I won't!'

[Alright then. Come on, we're going home.]

'Okay!'

All traces of sadness gone, she hopped upon his back and laid her chin atop his mane.

[Sorry I can't stay and talk more.]

>No no, it's fine. Totally fine. But uh... by the way, we kind of made Chrysalis mad after we teleported over here, and-

[Say no more, I'll tell the guards to let you use the portal.]

>...Don't you want to know why?

[Pfft, knowing her? It's probably something small. Don't even worry about it, she doesn't hold a grudge that long.]

>S-sure... good to see you again.

[You too.]

'Come on! We gotta run back to the castle!'

[Oh... alright.]

He reared back, forelegs kicking in the air, Two giggling like crazy upon his back.

'HI HO DADDY, AWAY!'

They tore off, her laughter reaching further and further, but strangely not growing any quieter.

>...You want me to get killed, don't you?

She smirked, pulling his hoof free again.

"HAH! Told ya'!"

>Told me what?

"Ya' were all 'oh, it ain't like that!' But lookit that!"

>...Look at what?

"She totally called 'em daddy! What, ya' think I ain't puttin' it ta'gether here? Come on, who's is she?"

>They don't know who her biological mom is.

"HAH! OH WOW! That many, 'eh? No wonder they're all over there!"

>They don't know because she's adopted.

"PFFT!"

But despite her scoff of disbelief, he remained perfectly stoic.

"...Nu uh."

>Yep.

"Yer' lyin'."

>Nope. He's not biologically related to her in the least.

"Bullshit."

>Totally just adopted her.

"BULLSHIT!"

>...

"...why?"

>Well, as he describes it... she needed a dad. That's apparently all it took for him.

Something... odd passed over her right there. An odd feeling that chilled her and made her feel oddly... cold.

"...Ah... ah damn it."

>Daw?

There was some odd emotion on her face. One he couldn't quite remember seeing before.

>Daw? You okay?

"...Damn damn damn... fuck it all..."

>You're doing the swearing thing again.

"...Fuckin'... fuckin' gets her a school and everything... fuckin' lets her ride on his back... prolly fuckin' tucks her in and everything..."

>Uh... yeah, he does. He also makes her breakfast and... are you okay?

She tried to nod, but the odd way she rubbed her own left shoulder seemed to say otherwise.

>...Oh... oh...

"Didn't even have ta', did he?"

>...No, I guess he didn't. Cadence didn't like her at first, but he kept letting her stay. Eventually, well... she became a permanent fixture. It's why I stopped you, he gets ticked when you swear around her. Really overprotective.

"...Damn it..."

He put a foreleg around her shoulders, bringing her in a bit closer.

>You okay?

"..."

>...Come on, you didn't think he was the only one in the world, did you?

She shrugged against him, before forcibly separating herself.

"C'mon, let's go see iffin' ya can talk to that tall princess and try ta' force the issue. See if you can call in a favor fer' yer' alien friend."

>Daw?

She didn't answer him, already walking away.

>Daw, the castle's that way.

"Yeah... feel like takin' the train is all."

>...Okay.

He knew not to question her. He knew, if she didn't want to go the castle where the prince was no doubt headed, she had her reasons. He couldn't tear her away. All he could do is follow, and ride along with her.

Hopefully, the trip would give her all the time she needed.

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>29
"MM"
*Q*
~Reggie~
~~~

"So... uh... these are your new friends?"

>...

"They uh... they seem nice."

>...

"...Hey! At least I can see these ones!"

>...

"...Okay, Niney? Honey? I'm going to voice my concern. You have brought home a rock and a roach and called them your friends. I am concerned. I am deeply, deeply concerned right now."

>...

"...Can you at least-"

*TINK!*

"GAH!... DID THAT ROCK JUST MOVE!?"

~Chitter!~

"WHAT THE FUCK!? ROACHES DON'T CHITTER! THAT IS NOT WHAT A ROACH DOES!"

*TINK!*

"AND YOU ARE NOT HELPING MATTERS!"

~Chitter!~

"...HOW DID YOU KNOW I-... I mean, dye my hair? Whaaaa? Oh no, you see, when a mare gets as old as I do-"

*TINK!*

"MY ROOTS ARE NOT-... I mean, my roots are perfectly normalWAITAMINUTEWHYAMITALKINGTOAROCK!?"

*TINK!*
~CHITTER!~

"...You guys want some tea?"

*...Tink.*

"I just thought I'd offer."

>...Are you alright?

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW!"

~CHITTER!~

"LANGUAGE!"

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>DT
"Harry the bear"
'SS'
~~~~
>...Can you repeat that?

Harry sits on a couch wearing a guard helmet regaling his traumatic story.
"Grrrrooooar"

>...I see...Can you Tell me why you're wearing a guard helmet?
Harry produces a letter stating he's the volunteer guard of Ponyville And animal caretaker until an appropriate replacement is found. Signed Fluttershy.

>...I should have known.

"Rrrrrmmmuuugh"

>You got to learn to stand firm and not let them walk all over you. You're not Fluttershy, and you don't have to be kind. You're a fucking bear! They got to respect your authority. The citizens are your cubs now and you have to do what's best for them.
Harry nods, pays DT, and leaves.

'Wow, I didn't know you speak bear.'

>Of course...I don't. I had know idea what he was saying, but I felt like humoring him...NEXT!

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Babs Seed"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and I do what I want! Now for our main guest...BABS SEED!!!
Applause as Babs sits down.

"Your audience smell burnt."

>Yeah, somepony was a show off. Anyway how's the Manehatten Cutie Mark Crusaders branch?

"Oh it's-"

>a great neighborhood watch!

"What? No it's-"

>I like my idea of what it is better. That's our show. Thanks for watching. See you next thread!

"Wait-"
Applause drowns her out.

>Your hash browns are about to burn!
Babs wakes up and the sounds of applause turn to sizzling.

"My hash browns!"

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 >32
"77"
'88'
~~~~

>Has she seriously been doing this the whole time?

"She literally has not stopped. She's obsessed with the idea of her senses becoming super strong."

'YOUR WHISPERS ARE USELESS! I CAN HEAR YOU!'

>We're talking normally.

'....HA! I have it! You... you smell a lot like smoke, actually.'

"Huh... she's right, you know."

>Uh...

"By the way, did you want us to send someone down to get your stuff?"

>...............

"What?"

'I don't need eyes to see that.'

>I think I have a problem with acting rashly.

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>Chitania
"???"
'???'
~~~

Mornings.

She fucking hated mornings.

Mornings meant she would have to slam on the alarm in her hotel room, get up, do nothing until the library opened, go over, and continue on in her quest.

She hated mornings.

...Especially when her alarm shuts off seemingly on it's own.

And she suddenly smells coffee.

And eggs.

And toast.

And...

"Mornin'!"

Her eye could not have shot open faster if it had been pried open by two rockets taking off in opposite directions. She gave not a single care to the blinding pain, and blinding... blindingness of the light that entered it as her iris shot over, to the little mini-kitchen that was so happily provided with her room, which she obviously never used, but it seemed someone else had decided to make use of it!

>...N-noooooo...

"I made breakfast, ya' hungry?... Or, wait, do ya' giant monster things eat food? I probably should'a checked, but who doesn't like peppered eggs? Right!? Oh! Made coffee too!"

Horror.

Chitania had never felt it before. Not like this. This particular brand of horror was brand new.

Horror...

Horror at the sight of her 'friend' from the other day.

Still very much here...

>Why.

"Shoot, you don't drink coffee? Can I sign up ta' be a changle thing like you? If I don't get it in the mornin' I don't never feel right!"

>Why... are you... still here...

She chittered. The prostitute honestly, actually, chittered.

"Cause you, silly!"

She had never prayed before, except to warn those above that she would be coming for them and would tear them from their heavenly kingdom, but just this once, Chitania the Titan honestly considered begging.

>Please tell me we didn't...

Another loud, annoying chitter, drawing her attention away from the, thankfully, dry sheets.

"No silly! I offered but ya' said no! But don't ya' remember? I told ya' ya' needed ta' get me a train ticket back, but you jus' ran inta' a bar and got so sloshed you bout turned green! I had ta' drag you here!"

>...And just why couldn't you afford a train ticket!? I paid you a frankly exorbitant amount!

"Well, yeah... but ya' kinda' didn't give me a chance ta' grab the bag after that guard busted us. I ain't got no money!"

She would control her rage.

She would contain, console, and focus her blinding, hateful rage.

She was not going to get arrested for beating a prostitute.

She was NOT going to get arrested for beating a prostitute.

No matter how much she just kept CHITTERING.

>We are leaving, NOW.

"Awww, do we gotta? Ya' sure ya' don't want a snack before we go?"

>...

"I meant the love eatin' thing. That funny lookin' mare said that was legal!"

She actually did consider it, since she was here already...

>...No, I think I have enough of a charge to last me a while.

But then she realized that the longer the prostitute was here, the more the risk she would snap and have to bury a body.

>We are leaving, now.

"Awww... okay sug! Thanks for bringin' me ta' Canterlot, the other gals ain't never gonna believe I got ta' hob nob with all these prissy fellas!"

>WE ARE LEAVING!

She, thankfully, did not have to touch her, the other mare happily sashayed behind her every step and kept up with her long legs and fast pace.

And, of course, everyone just watched...

Almost there, almost there, train's right ahead she's almost there she just needs to buy a train ticket and-

>TAKE MY MONEY!

The poor soul at the ticket office just stared at the surprising sum being forced at her, trying to choke down the fear of being stared down by the monster that had, months ago, literally stomped her apartment flat.

'...Uh.... w-w-why?'

>WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK!?

'...I-I-I don't see why you h-have to yell...'

"It's cause she's just like that, it's cool!"

Again, the desire to murder became almost overwhelming as the mare literally, LITERALLY, slunk up underneath her and popped up from between her massive forelegs like some kind of oblivious child.

"Hiya sugar bean! Listen, I need me a ticket back ta' the west side of Coltsburg, can ya' get that for me please honey?"

A blink.

A second blink.

And a final third, slow blink.

'...No.'

>WHAT!?

The prostitute felt herself being shoved forward, not an unfamiliar sensation, as the Titan pressed her face harshly against the glass.

>DID I FUCKING HEAR A NO!? YOU BETTER NOT HAVE FUCKING SAID NO! I WILL COME IN THERE AND TEAR YOUR SOUL APART!

Oh dear, thought the ticket master, her seat felt far more warm than it should.

'I-I-I-I-I-I-I-'

"What's the problem sweetie pie? Somethin' wrong with the train?"

'N-N-n-no-n-n-'

>THEN WHAT!?

'Q-Q-QUARANTINE!'

>..
"..."

'T-the whoooole city is... is under Quarantine... b-because a mutant strain of featherflu is spreading fast... nobody is allowed in or out of the city.'

"Oh no!"

>....

'...Miss?'

"Well, shoot! If I can't go in I best stay up here for a bit, any idea how long this is gonna take?"

'Miss I would get away from that changeling.'

"So, they givin' us compensation? I once heard ya' got a lotta money ta' live offa somethin' like this with the parasprites, that a thing? Does it count I don't pay taxes?"

'Miss please I am seeing scorch marks on my glass.'

"...You know any good places for lunch that accept food stamps? I'm starvin'!"

'Miss! You need to-'

>FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

'...'

"Oh shoot, she's gonna be like that for a while... so! What's your name?"

'...'

"Jus' tryin' ta' be sociable."

>UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

"She ain't that bad when ya' get ta' know her."

'...I doubt that.'

>UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

"Yeah, I can see why."

>UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Twilight
"Applejack"
'Spike'
~~~~

>...Just... just to double check, that quarantine is real, right? You're not just having everyone say that so the press gets more pictures?

"..."

>I'm... I'm noticing you aren't answering.

"Element o' honesty, Twilight."

>Oh... oh...

'...mmm... vengeance...'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


>WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THERE'S NO ROOM!?

>WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU RAN OUT OF COAL!?

>WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE TRACKS ARE ON FIRE!?

"...Is she ever gonna catch on?"

'You know, I wouldn't hold my breath.'

>GAAHHHHHH

'Not that I can breath right now.'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Dadling
"Bat-mom"
~~~

>....I can explain.

"You know, I should be mad, but I'm honestly just impressed with the ingenuity of making a working turret out of some old pipes, some flammable kitchen supplies and a whole lot of duct tape."

>...So, you're not mad?

"Little mad I lost my security deposit. Other than that, no."

>...can I keep-

"No."

>IT'S FOR THE BABY!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon Maxwell's Silver hammer parody
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpCV2wgoxC8

Spike was physical and scribbling the usual
Smithing in the home
Late nights all alone with a hammer ohh oh oh oh
Diamond Tiara snacking on some flora
Calls him on the phone
Want to go out to the shooting range, Spi,i,i,ike?
But as he's arming himself to go
A knock comes on the door

Bang, bang, DT's rocket launcher
Blew up at his head
Bang, bang, DT's rocket launcher
Made sure that he was dead

Back in school again DT plays the fool again
Cheerilee gets annoyed
Wishing to avoid a demonic sce,e,e,ene
She tells DT to stay when the class has gone away
So she waits behind
Writing 50 times "I must not be so" oh oh oh

But when she turns her back on the girl
She creeps up from behind

Bang, bang, DT's rocket launcher
Blew up at her head
Do do do do do
Bang, bang, DT's Rocket Launcher
Made sure that she was dead

G.C. Thirty-One said "We got a troubled one"
DT stands alone
Yelling testimonial pictures ohh oh oh oh
Silver Spoon and 42 screaming from the gallery
Say she must go free (DT must go free)
Applejack does not agree and she tells them so oh oh oh
But as the words are leaving her lips
A noise comes from behind

Bang, bang, DT's rocket launcher
Blew up at her head
Do do do do do
Bang, Bang, DT's rocket launcher
Made sure that he was dead
Wow wow wow oh!
Do do do do do

Rocket Launcher DT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC2NC
~~~~

"...Spike, why is there a fruit basket on mah desk?"

'Fawntain industries sent it over.'

"...Why?"

'Thank you note, I think?'

>Huh. Weird.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NCOMAKE!
>32
"77"
'88'
~~~

>I can't believe I actually made it out... alive! And I'm not even on the run or anything!

"It truly is joyous, brother. So, what are you planning to do now?"

>Get laid.

"HAH!"

>...

"..."

>...

"... Huh."

'He better not be looking at me.'

>I'm not!... now...

"...You looking at me is not better."

>...Where do you suppose Pommel is at right now, and on a scale of one to ten how freaky do you think that mare is-

"NOPE!"

'I don't even know who the fuck you're talking about! Who's Pommel!?'

>...But seriously, chances?

"STOP TALKING!"

>Don't make me ask Twenty Nine!... Or Reggie! Because I WILL ask-

"NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE-"

'Who the fuck is Reggie?'

"NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE"

'Stop ignoring me!'

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NCOmake

>Siegfried
"Idris"
'???'

>And that's the long and short of it, father.

"The situation is far more complex than I thought, tell me son, did you learn anything else?"

>Er...well...I may have picked up a travelling companion on the way...

"Really? Who?"

'HALLO CATBIRD KING!'

"..."

>...can I keep it?

"Urge...to disown...rising..."

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