Old man Anon. (oneshot)

>Day helping spike in equestria.
>Your waiting by your mailbox for the mailmare
>speak of the devil!
>she floats not very gracefully to your mailbox and puts some letters inside it.
>You can tell shes a bit uneasy by you leaning against it till you greet her.
“Hows it going?”
>She doesn't jump but you clearly startled her as she responds still uneasy about you being there.
>”I-I'm okay-”
>Not letting her finish you pull out an envelope from your jacket and hand it to her as you crouch down to her level.
“Hey listen” you whisper “My friend is real nervous but hes got a thing for you and I'm trying to help him out, here’s a letter he wrote”
>She takes it in her mouth questioningly.
>Winking at her you casually walk back into your house
>Looking through the window you watch her open it and begin reading.
>It was a pretty sappy letter Spike wrote but the mail mare seems to enjoy it as a red tint appears in her cheeks.
>Looking past her you see Spike coming to your house.
>Rolling a D20 you don't look at the result as the scene begins to play out.
>Derpy says something to Spike which causes him to blush, afterwords she plants a kiss on his cheek and flies away.
>you think you know the result of your actions as you take a seat in your chair.
>Spike walks in with a rather pissed look.
>”you gave her the letter for Rarity didn't you.”
“Yep!”
>”I said it was for Rarity! White unicorn! Has a horn!”
“Pfft what are you gay? Whats wrong with the mailmare? Shes a looker and knows everyone in town, might be the adventurous type! Plus those wings, for a mailmare she flies everywhere. You know what that means.”
>Spike goes to say something but you interupt him
“Her wings are strong, in bed you can grab them and just pound away! Might even be able to fix that eye... or give her another one.”
>Spike just glares at you
>”I don’t even know what that means!” he cries out slamming the door as he leaves.
>Today was a good day for old man Anon