Unforeseen Consequences - Remembering the past

>Oh wait… before you do anything… you better go and grab your lunch. You try to open the classroom door but… Oh come on! They locked it up!
>You knock up as hard as you can and call to your class mates
“Heeeey! Open up, please! I just want to get my lunch!”
>You heard Gale Breeze’s voice coming from the other side ”Nuh-Uh! You better go there and win them over! Make us proud, my Prince!”
>You slam your face on the door and groan
“Awww, come ooooon! How am I supposed to do that with an empty stomach? Just give me my lunch please….”
>”Nnnnooope…” Gale Breeze yells back “Can’t do that… because, we… well… we are kinda eating it…”
>What?!
“What?!”
>”Eehehehe…yeeaaah… gotta admit… those sandwiches are really tasty!”
“B-But…”
>”Mr. Anon!” Oh god, that was Sunny Hill’s voice “You are not trying to get away from your responsibilities, are you?”
>You sigh and growl
“No Miss Sunny Hill. I’m just trying to know why you guys decided to eat my food!”
>You hear Sunny Hill’s creep grandma style of laughter coming from the other side of the door ”Well, you might know that after recess is over, for now, you better go out there and so your work as our candidate. And that is an order, Mr. Anon! If you don’t do your job, then not only will you be stripped away from the candidature, but you will also enjoy a whole month in detention!”
>You stomp your hooves on the ground in frustration. That old coot! How dare she! Aaaargh! WHATEVER! FINE! IT’S NOT LIKE YOU WANTED TO EAT, ANYWAYS!
>You take a deep breathe… and exhale… breathe… exhale…BREATHE….ARGH! THAT MARE!
“Alright Miss Sunny Hill… Alright…I will go now”
>”I’m glad that we have to an agreement, Mr. Anon…Oh, and give my congratulations to the pony who made these sandwiches, the pate was simply delicious!” You hear Sunny Hill’s old laughter again… and one of your blood vessels popping out
>With a scowl on your face and emptiness in your stomach, you walk away from your classroom…defeated… and hungry
>As you walk across the hallways, you take notice of something very curious. There were clear, discernable patterns when it came to the different group of foals.
>The younger ones, like the REALLY younger ones, were all dressed in colorful clothing with capes on their backs, colorful masks o and odd symbols on their chests that were sometimes stickers, and others pieces of junk that you supposed they took from their homes.
>There was another group of ponies that were all dressed in robes… well, more like the bathrobes that they surely stole from their parents, but… it was an odd sight indeed. Especially since they walked in a line formation, chanting something…
>These societal patterns kept going and going to the point where when you reached the school yard, well… you stopped feeling like you were less in a school and more in some sort of circus. But what it was clear, is that each little “society” was divided by age.
>So you now have a more clear picture about what you had work to do, to win over these guys… and that is, to learn about each grade’s own “culture” and work your way from there.
>As for the older foals…well… you saw Ruffle Truffle and what you assumed were his friends at the very center of the school yard, giving away posters and other stuff that said to vote for him…
>While you could get lazy and do something similar to them…hmmm… you better not… especially since you saw Ruffle and his compadres threatening younger foals every now and then. So, it would be better if you stick to your original plan about coming with ad-hoc solutions for each group rather than a general one.
>You don’t want to get accused to do a rip-off of the sixth graders campaign, or worse yet, to be labeled as someone who didn’t care about the well-being of anyone except of his friends.
>Thing is, as you could see now, Ruffle Truffle was also using bullying tactics to win votes… would it be a good idea to stop that? You know, start your campaign with a punch, both figurative and literally
>On one hand, if Ruffle Truffle’s magical abilities are any indicative about the general state of the sixth graders in magical skills, then a fight against those jerks is a guaranteed win for you.
>And yes, you would just love to see them try to get past your shield, or even try to catch you when you start to teleport all over the place, that is, if they can even move after you cast a freezing spell on them…
>But as fun as that sounds, that is also a one-way ticket into a week of never ending scolding from your moms besides you getting grounded … and there’s also the fact that casting all of those spells would make you suffer from magical over exhaustion… and that stinks.
>On the other, other hand… man, these idiots are being a bunch of jerks to everyone, and that is something that you cannot tolerate. After all, it is your duty as a Prince to protect ponies from those who want to bring harm to them, then again, you don’t want to spend a week grounded…hmmm…what to do… what to do….
>You walk to a nearby bench and take a sit there, trying to think about what your next move is going to be…hmmmm… but as much as you want to do that, well…. You can’t help but to think about the events that has transpired today…
>The whole situation between the fifth graders was something that bothered you, especially since it was your group the main reason behind the conflict… you have to do your best to make everyone get over their differences, not because a simple school election, but because this was something that simply was wrong.
>But how? Hmmmmm… You MUST ask your mothers for some advice, you wonder if Twilight could help with this too…. Well, Duh! she IS the Princess of Friendship after all, this kind of stuff is what she lives for.
>And speaking of Twilight… you remembered what she told you… that you have come a long way since she met you, well… that was true… in more ways than one
>You have certainly changed a lot compared to how you were before arriving to Equestria, and you don’t want to go back, the pure thought of the possibility that it could happen, even if it was almost impossible scared you. More than anything else that you could possibly think of
>You will never be able to thank Discord enough for this new life that he gave you. But boy, did he scare you the first time that you saw him…
>The first time that you ever met Discord, how much time has passed since that event? It seems so distant now
>And so you start remembering that faithful day, the day when you won the inter-dimensional lottery.
>”This transport system is inbound from Level-1 dormitories to Sector C-Test Labs. If your intended destination is a high-security area beyond Sector C, you will need to return to the central transit hub in Area 9 and board a high-security train. If you have not yet submitted your identity to the retinal clearance system, you must report to security personnel for processing before you will be permitted into the high-security branch of the transit system.”
>It was a day like any other day; you went from the parking lot through the dormitories and into the monorail that would take you to your laboratory…
>You were super late that day and your head was pounding thanks to the hangover that you had. You can’t remember what you drank the night prior, but the point is that you spent the night drinking your worries away…
>Because at that point in your life, you had taken an unhealthy liking to alcohol, every single day of every single week, you drank alcohol until you passed out.
“Awww shit, I’m late again, probably shouldn’t have smoked that weird stuff that Catherine’s “friend” brought, but oh well, what’s in the past is in the past. Though, she should tell that asshole to fuck off. He’s always eating my stuff and has this tendency of blaming others. And I know for a fact that it wasn’t Ted who does that crap because he hates my cooking, so it must have been that idiot”
>Hmmm, now that you remember, you had this… quirk… of speaking to yourself when you were alone… it’s a good thing that you dropped it already, since it surely made you look like a creepy weirdo
“I probably should be more worried about getting late since I’m in probation with the agency. Although, there’s also the argument that by this point it doesn’t really matter, after all, by the time I get to my office and do my chores, I’m gonna be over an hour late. I figure I’m either fired or not.”
>The transport system was built in the most… well… idiotic way. It took a lot of detours and a lot of times it went outside the actual building, letting you see the landscape of the New Mexican desert…
>Which was composed of nothing of just sand, desert and more sand. You don’t remember much of that ride, because it was just an everyday ride, but you must surely have smoked like four cigarettes and drank some booze before arriving to the lab
>What you remember though is the guy who greeted you right after you got off from the monorail. His name was Edward, a rather short guy, thin like a stick and super pale, almost like an Albino but without the cool red eyes. He must have been like 32, but he was balding harder than a guy on his 50’s.
>”D-D-Dr.  A-A-Anon. F-F-Finally! W-What took y-y-y-you s-s-s-so long?!” Ah yes, how could you ever forget Edward’s characteristic speech impediment “W-w-w-we have b-b-b-been looking for you all morning!”
 “That’s none of your concern, Edward. Honestly, get the fuck out of my shadow for once will ya? Maybe this is too hard to grasp for someone who came from a shitty community college in Iowa like yourself, but people in this field who ACTUALLY has the brain to do complicated math are usually busy with other stuff. Get it? I was doing extra work that will give this agency even more recognition. Now, shut up and give me the results for today’s experiment.”
>You acting like a complete jerk towards Edward wasn’t because of your hangover or the stress of arriving late or the many, many personal problems that you had, no…. You simply always acted like that… always
>And he never fought back, never reported your poor behavior in the workplace to administration. Edward always shrunk and replied with a meekly “Y-y-y-y-yes Dr. Anon. H-h-h-here are today’s results..”
>Now, you don’t remember very well what the results were, nor did you care that much about them at this point of your life.
>What was important was that the tests came off wrong, the results were useless, and at least three months of work got thrown into the trash.
>And that of course made you mad, and who was the victim that you choose to blame for all of this? It was Edward, of course. He always acted as the scape-goat for everything bad that happened.
“What in the fucking world is this shit, Edward?! What the fuck are these numbers?!”
>”I-I-I-I-I’m sorry Dr. Anon. But you see, some interns c-c-c-came to the l-l-l-lab and-“
“You let those fucking idiots to run MY equipment?! Are you out of your fucking mind?!”
>Edward and the interns were always close. At the time, you always thought that the interns were taking advantage of Edward’s kind nature, but now that you look back at things… you feel like you were very wrong about that assumption
>”N-N-N-No! You don’t understand Dr. Anon! T-T-T-They never t-t-t-touched any of the e-e-e-equipment, I was m-m-m-merely teaching them t-t-the basic theory t-t-t-that supports w-w-w-what we do here”
“And may I know, what was so important that you had to fuck three months of hard up labor?!”
>”I-I-I-It’s on the other p-p-page!”
>You flipped the page from the notepad, glaring furiously at poor Edward…and you won’t ever forget what you saw… in all fairness, even now that memory still manages to make you a little angry.
“Just…just what the fuck is this, Edward?! Newton’s Gravity Law? Are you for real?! Our department works on quantum displacement, you stupid asshole! What is this high school level bullshit!”
>”B-b-b-but Dr. Anon! The interns were having problems with-!”
“Am I hearing things? Am I hallucinating or something? Why are you defending them?! If those monkeys can’t understand simple concepts like these then you have to fire them! We don’t have the time or money to retain imbeciles who do nothing but jerk around in lab coats and… wait a goddamn second… what does that has anything to do with this fucking data?!”
>”I-I-I-I… w-w-w-well… y-y-you see sir….t-t-there might h-h-h-have been some complications with-“
>”What muscle guy here wants to say, it’s that it technically wasn’t his fault…technically of course, he still fucked up, but oh well, we can make him pay that with something good, like I dunno, doing your job for a week, does that sounds good for my dork?”
>Ahhhh, Catherine… well, she now goes by the name of Eris… but not at that time. That day she was wearing, hmmmm… oh yeah! She was wearing her old uniform.
>And the thing here is, she usually joined you when you scolded Edward, usually she came by your side and rested her head on your shoulder. And that time wasn’t the exception to that.
“Oh please, don’t even joke about that. Don’t you remember what happened last time?”
>”Oh c-c-c-c’mon Dr. Anon! There is n-n-n-no need to r-r-r-remember a simple mistake like that!”
>”Mmmmmm… nope! I can’t remember a thing! Are you sure that you really let- OH WAIT! Now I remember!” Catherine usually had a way with telling people that she hated their guts by just looking at them. It was a glare that could inspire fear in even the bravest man’s heart. And she gave one of those to poor Edward. “You stupid son of a bitch! Do you even know the hell that your bald ass put my entire department through?!”
“Yes, this fucking idiot cost our section at least 10,000 dollars worth in burnt equipment. All thanks to his great idea of bringing his retarded chipmunk here. What were you even thinking Edward? Letting that little shit running around the electric generators, were you high or something?!”
>“I-I-I-I’m s-s-sorry Dr. A-A-Anon, I-I-I-I never thought that…that…” Edward always got sentimental when you brought that subject up, not because of his mistake but rather because “That Mr. Nuts w-w-would g-g-get b-b-burned with the electrical s-s-sub-systems…”
>Not like you cared about his feelings about that subject. For you, it was always a simple matter of him messing up everything.
“And I have told you many times that I don’t give a shit about that. It was a simple job, Edward! You just had to monitor the computers and see if there were some undulations, but nooooooo! You decided to break every code in the book by bringing your fucking pet to work, Jesus, you couldn’t be more stupid even if you tried!”
>You and Catherine always got teased around the workplace because you looked more like a couple rather than just friends. Well, they were idiots, that girl and you were like brothers and that is something that hasn’t changed to this day.
 “Tell me Catherine. What happened? If it wasn’t Edward’s fault then please tell me who I’m supposed to kill for shitting up my work?”
>”Ah Ah Ah! You didn’t say the magic word!”
“Fuck you.”
>”What a grumpy dork you are, but that’s why I like you so much, tee-hee!” Those little teases of her… Catherine was never attractive. She had a pair of astounding eyes and her curly hair kinda helped, but other than that, she was pretty meh, which is of course a far cry from Eris’ beauty “Anyways, our little idiot here didn’t have the fault this time. Nope, this time you can blame the anomalous materials guys for this…”
“Goddamn! Fuck them and their fucking reactor! Always shitting everything for the rest of us!”
>”Tell me about it, we had to evacuate the entire lower floors. They fucked it up so hard that they almost caused a “lemonade cascade” or some shit like that.”
>If Edward had a speech impediment was already bad on his own, It probably didn’t help that the guy had a gigantic crush on Catherine.  It always got worse when she was near him ”A-A-A-Actually is c-c-called-“
>But you, you were so angry, so annoyed and frustrated at the news, that you weren’t thinking clearly, you didn’t care about anything except yourself
“Shut up Edward. You know damn fucking well, that you are not without a fault, this bullshit could’ve been avoided if you followed protocols and shut down everything before the no-breaks ran out of power. Instead you were too busy jerking off and teaching those monkeys how to do the most basic shit. Do you realize that covering critical flaws of the interns and willingly letting equipment go to waste are grounds for you to get fired, don’t you? Or am I wrong, Catherine?”
>”Mmmhmm! In fact, this is like the fifth or sixth infraction that your little bald ass has committed since you got transferred from Crazy Frisk’s lab. So why don’t you and your bald ass get lost, huh? We’re being kind enough as to not report you with administration”
 “Fuck that, listen you dipshit. You better start using that turd that you have for a brain and get me a coffee and pronto! Or you know what? Tell one of you idiotic interns that I want a cup of coffee, and I like it strong!”
>”Meh, I’ll take a coffee too.”
>”B-B-B-But Dr. Anon, that isn’t the interns’ job-”
“Are you serious mate? After they clearly failed to grasp even the most basic precept of physics, you dare to defend them? Think Edward, think! If administration knew about that, what would they do, huh?”
>”G-G-Give them a p-p-p-pat on the back?”
>Catherine laughed at Edward’s remark, you can remember that mostly because she had this nasal laugh that no one could forget ”Man, you really aren’t the brightest guy here, huh?”
 “Fuck off Edward, those mates fired Frisk even when he was a goddamn genius. Those shitty interns would get axed. But then again, administration wouldn’t be wrong in doing that, we are doing them a favor. So go away Edward, I need to go to my office and think how we are going to savage the project after you fucked it up”
>You were a little calmer at that point, it was in these kind of situations where your mind started to race with different scenarios and solutions so you wouldn’t get fired or got your funding cut off. And that helped you to realize a little hole in this whole narrative
>”O-O-O-Okay Dr. A-A-A-Anon. I-I-I-I will be o-o-o-on my way”
“Edward, wait…”
>”Y-Y-Y-Yes Dr. A-A-A-Anon?”
>That incident with the reactor that morning. It was oddly suspicious, like yeah, they needed a lot of electrical energy to power up that thing, but to cause a small black out in the AOSR? Nah, there was something else going on.
“Forget about the coffees, in fact, I won’t tell anyone about the lack of preparation from those monkeys. But in exchange, I need you to do something for me.”
>You remember the spark in Edward’s eyes. Man, he really cared about those interns, even if they did lack basic knowledge ”O-O-O-Of c-c-c-course, Dr. A-A-A-Anon!”
“You still have that friend of yours at the anomalous materials department, right?”
>”Y-Y-Yes! Howard and I a-a-a-are v-v-very good f-f-friends ind-d-deed!”
“Very well then, I want you to get your ass down there and get me the data of the experiment that they did today.”
>That of course, caused some problems with Edward, since he was super honest about everything, and getting that kind of reports was everything BUT honest
>”B-b-b-but!”
>Thankfully, it wasn’t like Catherine was oblivious to Edward’s feelings for her, far from it, she usually took advantage of that in a number of ways ”Awwww come on, Eddy-boy! Do it for me…just get what my dork friend wants. I MIGHT let you open the doors for me if you do that…”
>And it worked like a charm, Edward ran away faster than an Olympic athlete. Everything after that was kind of a blur. You remember that you arrived at your office and furiously trashed it. You started smoking and opened up a bottle of booze for you and Catherine…
“I swear to god Catherine! Between Edward’s fuck ups and whatever those dickheads of anomalous materials are doing, I’m never going to be able to publish anything ever again!”
>”Oh please, you are always exaggerating…now, don’t get cheap on me, and give me one of your cigs, will ya?” Catherine drank her glass of booze… what was it? Bourbon or cognac? Hmmmm, well, that doesn’t really matter either…
>Catherine was actually looking concerned for you, heh, she has always been great at telling your feelings, no matter how well you want to hide them “Whatever, one of your shitty experiments got screwed, so what? You will get more funding, you are the little star of the whole division, remember? You will get over this”
“I’m not in good terms with the administration guys, not anymore. I haven’t published anything in over a year! It’s not my fault of course, everyone keeps fucking everything for me. I’m not in good position with any agency either, remember Catherine, if you don’t publish shit, then you get thrown into the slaughter house, science is like that. If I get fired for some stupid shit like this, you can bet your ass that I won’t get hired anywhere else… maybe I should blow my brains out before any of those assholes can laugh at my demise”
>That made Catherine mad, like really, really mad. To the point where you saw some tears forming in the corner of her eyes “Don’t you fucking dare to even joke about that, you hear me! This is just a bad stroke of luck, there’s no need for you to be such a pussy…”
>And yes, she was worried about you, but you did your best to shun her off anyways. You wanted to be alone so you could bathe in your misery and self-pettiness alone. You didn’t want Catherine to see you like that, because you had too much pride for that.
“What’s the deal, anyways? I shoot myself, there’s a cheap funeral for my miserable ass and life moves on, that’s it. For fuck’s sake Catherine, grow a goddamn pair, is not like somebody will miss me or I will miss anyone…”
>After you said those words…she slapped you…and it hurt more now than when it happened. You remember Catherine’s eyes filled with tears and her words before she left your office “You’re a real fucking asshole, you knew that? Go fuck yourself!”
>And it hurt, that memory hurt a lot. You had the horrible tendency of making everyone to want to stay away from you as far as humanly possible, even your closest friends. And that day you knew that you had managed to do the same with Catherine.
>Some time passed in-between Catherine leaving your office and Edward bringing you the documents that you asked him to get…. You don’t know how much, but you spent the entirety of it alone in the darkness
>”D-D-D-Dr. A-A-Anon…here….I-I-I-I brought w-w-w-what y-y-y-you asked for”
“Lemme see that shit…”
>And as you started reading the reports, your heart sank… these results, this data… everything suggested that the anomalous materials guys where using their reactor to research quantum displacement.
>Not only that, but if this report is accurate, they were using a methodology that you never got authorized to use since it was “too expensive”. And yet… they were doing it…they were actually doing the research that you always wanted to do since you were a student in the MIT
>The work of your life, your magnum opus, and the ONE thing that could’ve secured you tons of money and fame… was robbed from you…. And you realized it when it was already too late…
>Now that you think about it… at that point Edward became very worried about you too. Despite how you treated him, he actually tried to take care of your miserable self when he saw the state that you were in…
>Of course, you told him to go away with a simple “Fuck off, Edward…”
>It was in that moment when you stopped caring. You didn’t care that when you turned on your PC and checked you e-mails, you saw that you were at least two months late with the payment of the penthouse that you were so stupid to buy during a recession year.
>You didn’t care that you had crashed your expensive car last week after you went drinking like you did every night and the insurance just confirmed that they weren’t going to put a penny.
>You didn’t care that the agency denied you that raise or that another one of your articles got rejected by a magazine filled with people that knew nothing of what you were researching.
>You had lost the things that you cared about the most and it was your fault. Your alcoholism and laziness made you a slob in your work and now the people at anomalous materials were working on YOUR theories with what was supposed to be YOUR funding.
>Your arrogance and pride had driven everyone that you cared about away from you, including your best friend since high school.
>What you told Catherine about nobody missing you if you were gone was a logical conclusion. After all, nobody liked you and you gave them plenty reasons for that.
>You had an old revolver on your office, courtesy from some rich gun whack that was pouring massive funds into the AOSR. He gifted these things to every top scientist…
>But, you had decided to at least make this interesting. You loaded a single bullet into the revolver and spin the barrel.
>You placed the gun on your temples and pulled the trigger
>*Click*
“Damn…”
>You served more booze into your glass and drank it in one sip, pulling the trigger afterwards
>*Click*
“Damn”
>The third time, you didn’t bother with the glass, you started chugging that expensive bottle of booze and pulled the trigger
>*Click*
“If you are out there god, fuck you! I’m killing myself, and you can’t do anything about that!”
>You pull the trigger again
>*Click*
“Son of a bitch…”
>You drank from the bottle until there was no booze left and pulled the trigger once more
>*Click*
“Heh, I should have saved some for the last try, but oh well, this shit has six shots or whatever they are called. Five were duds, so this must be the good winner…”
>You prepared yourself to pull the trigger one last time, laughing to yourself.
“Well, here it goes… the best scientist on this shitty field is going down with a game of Russian roulette… heh, I suppose that this kind of shit is fitting for someone who studied something as useless as chaos theory. An useless ending for an useless guy…”
>Of course, you never actually pulled the trigger. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here, because you see, something stopped you that day from taking the coward’s route… well, something isn’t accurate and is actually outright disrespectful to the being who saved you
>”Excuse me? Did you say that chaos is useless? Goodness, I knew that the folks of this dimension were dumb, but I actually never expected them to be THAT dumb.”
“GAH! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?! W-What…the hell are you?!”
>You will never forget that first impression. Well, how could you? A weird creature appeared in your office from what it seemed out of nowhere. A creature that is almost impossible to describe, since his anatomy is…well, “unique”
>You remember that you hit yourself pretty hard on the face to see if you were hallucinating, which of course you weren’t. That Frankenstein-like creature was real, was floating in front of you and he could talk
>”You don’t know who I am? Now that’s what I call a disappointment. And here I thought that you were quite knowledgeable about the wonders of chaos. But oh well, what can you expect from creatures that think they can put chaos behind petty theories and mathematics?”
“Answer my questions, creature?! Who are you?! WHAT ARE YOU?!”
>”Now, now, no need to get so flustered about such a simple truth, after all it’s not my fault that your knowledge about chaos is so…lacking. But since I’m such an amazing fellow, I will do you a favor in the form of a lesson in REAL chaos…”
>And that was the first time when he snapped his talons, the first time that you saw chaos magic in action. With such a simple movement, that creature warped your small office into an impossible landscape for a brief moment before it returned to normal.
>You were left speechless; it was a miracle that you didn’t wet your pants in the process. This of course just made the strange creature to laugh at you
>”Aaaah! That expression of awe, that look of pure confusion and the taste of utter disbelief is why I love chaos so much! But enough chit-chatting, now that you’ve seen a taste of what REAL chaos is I believe it that would be rude to not introduce myself….but then again is not like I care about being rude, HAH-HAH!”
>The creature’s second demonstration of chaos magic wasn’t that impressive… he just made a pie to appear out of nowhere so it could hit you straight in the face
“ARGH! E-Enough with this! A-Answer my questions, now!”
>And of course, he laughed again complimenting his mockery with an arrogant smirk. One that would become very characteristic of this creature as you got to know him more.
 >”I’m but a simple watcher who decided to spent some time enjoying the wonders that this boring place offers, what is the word that simple creatures like yourself use for that? Ah, yes! A tourist! An inter-dimensional tourist to be precise. As for my name, well… why don’t you give me yours first?”
“A-And why w-would I d-do that?!”
>”Because I said so, and you better tell me your name or you will personally feel what chaos magic can do…. Hmmm, tell me, would you like to be a bar of butter? Because trust me when I say this, little creature: Whatever I want, I can make it true…”
“Egh! I-I mean… whatever… my name is Anon, now tell me what’s yours”
>”Anon! What a… dull and pedantic name. Hmmm… wait a moment, dull and pedantic… I think that this could actually work for what I’m looking… say, Anon. What were you going to do with that little toy of yours?”
“I-I… That’s none of your goddamn business!”
>”Oh please! Don’t lie to me; I know perfectly well how despair looks like. After all, there’s no one better than myself when it comes to creating chaos and despair in the hearts of little creatures like you. You were going to throw your life away, weren’t you?”
“As I said…that’s none of your fucking business…”
>”Maybe it isn’t, maybe it is. That’s the thing with chaos, you never know what will end up happening! Now, don’t move, that is, unless you want to become a delicious pastry for everyone to enjoy…I have to see something…”
“H-Hey! W-What are you doing?! Don’t touch me you son of a bitch! AGH!”
>To this day, you still don’t know why Discord forcefully placed his paw on your head. You just remember a tingling sensation and feeling sick after he removed that paw…and that sinister grin of his
>”Hmmm, yes, yessss…this one can actually work. Oh, how wonderful! For a brief moment I actually thought that I would need to do actual work for those two! But alas, chaos has triumphed once again! To think that I got a perfect candidate in my very first try! Hah, sometimes I surprise myself with how great I am!”
“What… are you… talking about…”
>”Hmmm? Oh, silly me, I almost forgot to notify the poor fool! Listen Anon, I’m going to be blunt with you. I have no interest in convincing you to throw away your life. That’s your decision, but I have to say, why end everything like this when there are other options?”
“Options? What the fuck are you talking about mate? What other option is there to blow my brains out?”
 >”Oh, Anon, how disappointing, for someone who supposedly studied about chaos, you turned out to be rather unimaginative. Have you forgotten that I can do anything that I please? Now, don’t get any funny ideas, I have no intentions whatsoever in fixing the mess that you call your life, no, what I have in mind is something quite different”
“… I’m listening, creature…”
 >”That’s the attitude! I don’t like this, but let’s get serious for a moment, shall we? You see Anon, after a lot of internal debate, I have made up my mind and decided to make a proposition to you, call it…. a deal of sorts.  And the best thing is that you keep your plans of forgetting about your dull and pointless life… you just have to come with me…and just so you can feel more confident about this agreement, let me introduce myself: I’m Discord, spirit of chaos… it’s your pleasure to meet me…”
>And the rest, well… you made that deal and ended up in Equestria…thing is, now that you look back…
>Funny how things work out, huh? Your original plan was to scam Discord and go back to Earth so you could sell whatever it was worth a dime in Equestria… yes, you were THAT awful in your past life… but as Discord and Eris have told you multiple times, it’s just that… your past life.
>For what is worth, at least for you, Anon, the alcoholic jerk who worked at the AOSR was no more. He died that day, you are not him, you will never be him, not anymore…
>You are a different Anon now, you’re the son of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, one of the members of the royal family, your special talent, what makes you special is harmony…
>Yes, maybe you don’t have the grandiose adventures that Discord promised you…but in your opinion, you have more important things to worry about now… even if they are small.
>Just by looking at this school yard it’s easy to tell that there are a lot of problems with this school. And it is your work to fix said problems, yes, maybe this doesn’t look THAT important at first glance but…
>But, everyone is important, right? Maybe this isn’t something on the scale that your mothers or Cadence or Twilight does.
>Maybe those adventures will come later, but right now you have the responsibility to help these ponies, and you won’t fail them, you won’t fail these foals… because you are Prince Anon and because it is your work to spread harmony to everyone in need of it…