[F4A] Reading Room Roil [RAPE]--mentions, not acted, [humor]

Umm, hi.  I wanted to know if I could borrow one of your reading rooms, for like 30 minutes.  Or, you better make it 45, I should be done by then.

Am I a student here?  Well, no, but …. Ummm, I’m an almuni?!

Where’s my Alumni ID?  (stammering)  Well, uhh, what I meant was that a… a friend of mine is an alumni here.  She’s just ...not here right now, but..

(pleading)  I mean, come on.  I can see 3 reading rooms, and one has a light on and two don’t.  That means that you could give one reading room to me, and there’s still one open for someone else.  Come on, please?  What’s your name?  (recognizing this is the wrong type of person to try to fool, but trying to persist)  Ehh…  Meredith?  C...Come on, Meredith.

(pause)  Yes, I know the rest of the library is open to everyone, but I need something… (whispered) umm, more... private.  Are the reading rooms soundproof?

(pause)  There’s no book in my hand?  (thinking quickly)  Ummm…I can pick up a book if you want, that’s easy.  (more confident, for just a second)  Here’s one right on this table next to us.  (reading the title with horror)  “Animal Hide Soap and Oil Tanning Catalog.”  Ew.

(resigned)  Ok.  Listen.  I’m gonna be honest with you, Meredith, please don’t judge me.  I’m a voice actress for this website, and they want me to produce some content this weekend.  I would do it at home, but my housemate would FREAK OUT if she heard what I was recording.  And my room is, like, adjacent to an apartment that... has a really loud dog.  (pleading)  I really need to find a place that’s quiet so I can record the piece, and I swear to you, it won’t take longer than 45 minutes.  What do you say?  Please????

(pause, then ecstatic)  Oh, great, you’re a lifesaver, Meredith!  Thank you so much.

(matter of fact, slightly nervous sales pitch)  Ok.  Now, I’ll need to bring some things in with me.  It’s no big deal, don’t freak out, I just wanted to let you know ahead of time.  I need a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of wine, but don’t worry--(nervous reassurance) there’s no wine in the wine bottle, so it’s….not like I have 2 kinds of alcohol with me, right?  Umm, just the one.  And then I’ll need a knife--but (immediately trying to reassure)... buuut... in fairness to me, it’s rusty, so it probably can’t hurt anyone.  (sheepish)  Besides, I’ll be in there alone, right?  So… nothing to worry about.

And then (spelling it out slowly, to prepare the next surprise) I want to put, like, cardboard over the glass part of the door, because... I’m... probably going to be getting naked.  (immediately trying to reassure)  Now wait, wait, wait, wait…  First of all, (rationalizing)  I have a very good body, and so if anyone sees me, it’ll just be…, like, an aesthetic benefit to your library!  Y’ know, just think of me as, like, one of those Greek statues that are always showing their….you know.  Right?  And...uh secondly, I’ll have a cushion to sit on, so…  (hesitation for a sec) your chairs will...umm, not be compromised by me.

(big hopeful smile)  So are we still good?  You…  want to hear what I’ll be doing in there?  (a couple of nervous pants)  Umm, ok.  It’s….kind of an improv.  It’s about a woman….  (trying to reassure)  A nice woman, so it’s ok!  But she has to...ummm….(nervous) sit on this wine bottle, where the neck is all cracked, and so if she clenches too much, the whole top of the bottle breaks.  And…  there’s a knife inside that’s pointing upward at her.  (immediate pullback, trying to reassure)  N...Now wait---wait---remember, it’s just a fantasy, right?  It’s okay, cause there’s no real person!  (back to stammering)  But, I mean,...like...she gets tickled.  And then she gets...well…. ummm…  r...repeatedly sodomized... against her will.

(realizing she is losing the sale, trying to reassure)  Appppp--Meredith, you’re freaking out--Don’t freak out--it’s just a game that they’re playing.  You’ve played games, right?  Like, I bet you’re a whiz at Scrabble or…  y’know, something similar to that.  This just happens to be a different kind of game, one where everyone is super happy to play it,...ex…except Emily.  That’s the woman’s name.

(sheepish, still persisting)  Now listen.  (a new conniving strategy)  I trusted you with this story, Meredith, because you asked me, and I wanted to tell you the truth.  I didn’t have to be so forthcoming, I could’ve just gone in and...and put up the cardboard, and who knows?  Maybe you wouldn’t even have checked.  I don’t know how often you walk around and check on things, right?  (thinking of a new point)  And, like, for all I know, you could take out one of the reading rooms yourself and go record this audio and send it in before I do.   I mean, do you know what would happen to me if you did that?  I’d lose like half of my golden moons!!

What are golden moons?  Meredith, paisana, they give you golden moons as a reward for the audio.  You don’t want me to lose my moons, do you?  (playing the victim)  They take them away if you break the rules, and one of the rules is that you can’t transfer an audio fantasy to another woman!!  (more adamant)  So if you uploaded a version of this before I did...---  I could lose moons, Meredith.  If you really think about it, it’s me taking the risk and not you, you can just sit here behind this desk and pretend that none of this ever happened, okay?

(nervous one more time)  Th.. The whiskey?  (sheepish, rationalizing)  I mean, I kinda wanna drink whiskey while I record--Is that so wrong?  (“amirite” voice)  It’s a bit of a heavy subject matter, amirite?

(sigh, then pleading)  Oh come on, Meredith.  Look at the two of us, we already know so much about each other.  I mean, it’s like we’re bonding.  Two best friends, even.  I pour my soul out to you, and as a token of our friendship, you just have to do this one favor for me.

(big breath, then fast, in one breath if possible)  Just lemme go and masturbate in your reading room while I improv drunkenly about a lady being anally raped while she struggles not to clench so that her pussy doesn’t get all cut up by the rusty knife inside the wine bottle she’s impaled on.  (cutesy)  Please?

(Another sigh, defeated)  All right, forget it.  Thanks anyway.  (aside)  People wonder why no one uses libraries anymore.  Maybe the Lutheran church is still open.  That place usually has good acoustics.




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[F4A] Reading Room Roil [RAPE]--[mentions of rape, not acted out], [humor], [mentions of violence, tickling]

A triumphant story about a librarian doing her job.  Shush, you perverts.