NOShot 5

>Today is the day
>The power of NOS fills your blood with an indescribable restlessness, a desire to range far beyond the scope of your usual pastures
>The ancient memories of your race flood through your subconscious, the voices of your ancestors screaming for you to understand
>The echoes of a mankind long lost and forgotten rises up through your bones, urging you forwards
>Yes, today you would ride a p0ny
>With a saddle
>This all started when your latest shipment of the most delectable NOS arrived replete with a copy of "Saddles Quarterly" a cheap looking publication filled with imagery of p0nies wearing saddles
>After you had investigated this suspect arrival it appeared to be little more than a series of photographs of the same p0ny bound together with brown tape, with poorly hand written notes in place of the articles
>You did not stoop to reading such ill conceived matter however, gentlemen of NOS-like caliber do not read such materials for the articles in principle
>Had you the inclination you could have asked Twilight about this subject but you didn't want her to burst into tears at her species poorly thought out printing technologies

>No, this would be a hunt
>A true test of the Alpha hunter, the very zenith of physical prowess given form against these lowly herd animals
>Sure they had magic, but you had NOS
>This wouldn't be a fair battle; it would be a chaotic slaughter as you tame the savage beasts and ride them heroically into the sunset, toasting your victory with a warm beverage
>Stepping out into the cold and unforgiving reality that tried in vain to hold your awesome powers in check, you bask in the light that would soon carry you to greatness
>With consideration, you had drank many NOS before you had become enlightened, and with this enlightenment you had concocted a plan so elaborate that even should your schemes be uncovered these poor simplistic beings would still not conceive its grandeur
>You would lie in wait until you saw a p0ny in a saddle and when the moment came that such a p0ny would happen by, you would leap and take your prize as a man above all men
>In the ancient rituals of your species, you wrap your flame motif shirt around your face to form as mask that is in no way a hindrance to your aims
>Quietly you congratulate yourself on what is most assuredly going to be a most devastating sneak attack, pouring the last of your NOS over your masked face

>Basking in the veritable torrent of warm yellow sugary liquids as they cascade over your masked brow, filling your senses with its empirically proven superiority
>Rituals complete, you stalk as quickly as your chubby legs will allow towards the best location for your efforts; the roof of the mayor’s office
>Naturally a man of your irrefutable prowess would never be seen no matter how diligent the efforts of these p0nies, regardless of the terrain
>And besides, p0nies can't look up
>A perfect scheme, without flaws to exploit nor imperfections in its planning, you cannot help but laugh at your own ingenuity at this cognitive marvel as you walk
>You ignore all the p0nies you see on your trek; after all they cannot see you for you are one with shadows this day
>A few even look as though they might have tried to speak with you as you climbed the stairs of the mayor’s office before recoiling, their snouts scrunched as their hooves flail at their nostrils
>You pay their pained and disgusted expressions no heed, if they cannot comprehend the glorious NOS filled future that will soon grace their destinies then they will be unprepared for the true wonders that await you this day.
>As you step out onto the balcony you once again reflect on the brilliance of this plan, brought forth by vast consumption of NOS
>A vague thought about where it comes from flickers across your mind as you grasp onto the posts, securing yourself into a crouch on the railings

>You brush such idle thoughts aside, this day was not for such trivialities, it was one for men of action such as yourself
>With preparations set, you lie in wait as immobile as a gargoyle and just as natural
>The warm summer heat baking down on your shirtless form, its heat increasing the pungent aroma of the NOS coating body as you gaze impassively though the heat haze
>Hours pass; as the sun rises to its zenith you see it, the goal of your outing in the form of a grey pegasus wearing a saddle
>You had never stooped to try and understand the social implication or reasons behind why these p0nies wore saddles, such concerns were beneath one as Alpha
>Your muscles tense as you watch her circle low to the ground, her head turning this way and that as if she were searching for some hidden prize
>It mattered not in the end, as her circling brought her ever closer to your vantage point
>Soon it would be time and no force on this world would deny you your prize
>One of her eyes fixates on your hidden location for a moment, her crooked vision granting her abilities in looking up far beyond her kin
>Your palms sweat as ancient meals rise from their eternal slumber that stare seems familiar from somewhere but your broken mind cannot place it as the moment presses on
>Her ears twitch as she returns to her flight pattern with renewed speeds, drawing inexorably towards her fate

>Your breath quickens as she closes, knuckles whitening as you grasp your perch with ever greater pressure
>You wait now, with baited breath for the perfect moment to leap
>Her circling has slowed considerably as she drew closer to the mayors' office, which is a dangerous thing for you as she has also increased her altitude now floating slowly perhaps less than few feet below yourself
>As you gaze at that slowly rotating saddle, its highly polished surface reflecting the light of the midday sun through the humid haze scattering faint rainbows in its passing the moment strikes you
>The time is now
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
>You let loose an undulating war cry as time slows, your fat legs pushing you forwards, propelling you forwards towards the victorious seat you have desired since you drank too much NOS and looked at suspect literature
>As the wind whips around you, pushing your sticky hair into strange new shapes your prey shows no sign of fear, no cries of shock nor even turning to face your dynamic form
>You slam ass first onto her back, her crooked face giving out what almost seems to be a ghost of a smile before your flailing hands tell you to grasp victory
>Pressed by your lack of a solid perch, you place her wings into a vice like grip as you seize control of not only your destiny but your own as well

>You can feel the mare go rigid under your form as she lets out labored gurgling that give way into a low moan, with her face hidden from view you can only guess at the surprise she is feeling as you enter a slow spiraling decent
>While the force of the impact was jarring it alone was not enough to throw you from your new found steed, her fevered breathing, the loud moans and sweaty writhing test your will as surely as your grip
>Her cries quickly bring forth a large crowd of onlookers who will surely attempt to free this mare from the destiny you have woven for her, their faces each a mixture of awe and shock, the deep red that covers each no doubt born from their deep seated jealousy at their lack of Alpha prowess
>Granting no respire, you redouble your efforts to stay astride your mount gripping firmly at her sides with your thighs while turning your main focus to wrestling with her sweat coated wings for solid purchase
>As you do so, a new aroma reaches your keep NOS powered senses which smells similar indeed to that of your most beloved beverage wafting tantalizingly over the heavy musk of sweat

>Your epic conquest is brought to an abrupt halt as you are blasted by icy cold waters, a welcome change under other circumstances however all it does now is bring your struggles to a close
>The pressure of the jet intensifies clouding your senses as it strikes your face forcing you to back away from the source of this unwarranted action
>Spent from your herculean struggles in the sky and short of breath you have no choice but to retreat as quickly as your rotund form will allow, cursing with each step that you could be stopped when you were so close
>Unknowingly for you, your enigmatic prey was thinking the same thing