June 2019 Pastebin

Welp, it's June and I haven't done one of these in a while... and I feel like maybe I should.

My health has been kind of poor lately... There's some things I don't want to get in to because I don't know the extent of the issues yet, but I've been essentially in limbo because of health insurance. I cannot afford to get in to the specialists I need to see for a few different issues out of my own pocket, but I was finally approved for MediCal at no cost, so HOPEFULLY in the next week or so I can start chipping away at these issues, get a proper diagnoses, stop speculating about what my issues are and get some actual treatment.

What I do know is that I've been in a very very bad autoimmune flare up that has caused a ton of pain, gastrointestinal issues and general fatigue... when pain in one joint clears up, it fires up in another so it's just been an endless cycle of pain/discomfort. I also had a really bad tooth infection that spread and was causing me some other issues. The tooth infection is cleared up thanks to some antibiotics, but I do have to get a root canal at some point to keep that from coming back, but I can't get the root canal done until I get my blood pressure down. An anti-inflammatory would help a ton with the autoimmune issues I'm having but, my already elevated blood pressure is made worse by the anti-inflammatory.

My plan of action as soon as I get the OK to go and be seen is to get to a clinic, get back on my blood pressure meds and get another issue "checked out"... that approval should come anyyyyyyyyy day now. Again, I don't want to speculate anymore about what it is, because all that does is stress me out, which flares everything else up, but it's been a big source of anxiety and quite honestly fear for me lately.

I've completely cut energy drinks, soda and pretty much everything sugary out of my life... I feel much better in the mornings but I'm still getting fatigued later in the day which, on top of arthritis pain in my back/wrists/hands being completely uncontrolled because of not being able to take an anti-inflammatory it has made streaming fairly difficult. I've been trying to eat a lot better and go outside on daily walks which has been helping a bit with the pain as well.

Every day  I am feeling a little bit better and able to stream a little bit longer. I'd like to get back to the point where I can at least dedicate 5 hours a day to streaming and a few hours a day to hanging out with other streamers and being that pillar of support that I once was to a lot of communities.

I stream first and foremost because I enjoy sharing my life long passion for video games with each and every person who swings by my channel, even if only in passing. For a while it was looking like a pretty viable option for me to continue being a full-time streamer, but with my inconsistencies I've lately been doubting whether or not I can continue to do this... but, I am going to do my best to quash those thoughts and continue the grind... not only because I know in my heart that it's the only thing that's going to make me happy but because I know that a lot of you depend on me for a little brightness in your day. The support I've had through the past 2 months both on and off twitch have blown me away and I am endlessly grateful for it.

My plans for the stream as of the immediate future are:

1) Stream a little bit more - even if that means breaking up the stream in to a 3-4 hour morning session and a 3-4 hour evening session.

2) Speedrun more Puggsy - I've been having a ton of fun with Quickie World, but I know everyone wants to see me reclaim the Puggsy Any% WR... even the WR holder. Additionally, I really wanna submit 100% to AGDQ... so I need to get a run that is fairly optimized and not just what I did for the free WR.

3) Expand my horizons - I had a ton of fun with SMRPG this past Saturday so, RPG Saturday is going to be a thing... I'd like to have a good balance though of retro speedrun content and retro casual content... this means I will probably NOT be doing Apex Legends on stream very often anymore outside of Friday Evenings if my squad is available to play.

4) More birds on stream - I know everyone enjoys getting to see them and since I'm not streaming super late night anymore, expect to see them more often.

I appreciate everyone's support... I hope that my channel can continue to be a chill place for people of all walks of life to come and hang out without the fear of being themselves.

Hope to see you soon and thank you so much for taking the time to read this!