V13 8-4

8-4
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I hadn’t decided on where I was going, but even so my legs didn’t hesitate and naturally headed towards that place. I thought she must be there.
In the empty hallway of the special building. It’s been almost a year that I’ve passed through here towards the clubroom. I would probably still reach it even if I closed my eyes.
Finally, I could see the door. I stood in front of it, traced it, then placed my fingers on the handle. It should be made of the same materials as every other classroom door, but I felt as if I would never forget this coldness and hardness.
If I pulled with some strength, the door would make a noise and slide open.
What’s in front of me, wasn’t a deviant, but a regular classroom.
However, the reason I felt this classroom was different was likely because a certain girl was there.
In the setting sun and the blowing wind, Yukinoshita Yukino was standing by the window, gazing at the outside.
The window was wide open as if to change the atmosphere in the clubroom not used by anyone in a while and the curtain was swaying in the wind.
Even if the world ended, this girl would be here, like this. This sight was so much like a painting that I was making these illusions.
When I saw that, both my body and mind had stopped.
——I was lost in admiration even when I was defeated.
Yukinoshita noticed the visitor and she held her hair swaying in the wind as she turned around. Her eyes widened as if surprised for a moment, but quickly expressed a smile.
“Hello.”
“...Yeah.”
As I answered her, Yukinoshita closed the window. The swaying curtains also stopped and all sound disappeared inside the clubroom.
The sunset brilliantly filled this tranquil space. While my eyes narrowed due to the brightness, Yukinoshita leaned on the glass window and the glossy black hair on her shoulder shone even further.
“Do you have a reason to be here?”
“No, I was told to contact you about work.”
“I see, I’m sorry I made you go out of your way to come all the way here.”
“You don’t have to worry about it, it doesn’t take much time or effort.”
As I answered, I pulled the chair closest to the door. In this place where I always sat on it, I lightly gestured to Yukinoshita to also sit down. It looked as if Yukinoshita was taken aback, but as I waited for her, she sighed as if giving up and sat on the chair closest to the window.
“About the prom, ultimately your revised plan has safely passed. It looks like the subset of caregivers against the idea will be persuaded and will have to come to terms with it.”
It should have been the first time Yukinoshita had heard of this, but she didn’t look so surprised. She didn’t move a single eyebrow and was just silently listening. While I was thought it was strange, I continued to say the last part.
“That’s why… It’s my loss.”
“Yes… It’s your win.”
Finally, Yukinoshita deeply sighed and muttered.
“...Why?”
“It ended up this way because of your methods again. By essence, it’s your win.”
Remembering the connection between the feeling of self-scorn and laughing at myself, I spat out the doubt that had been living in my chest.
“...Even so, you foresaw this. Didn’t you know of my methods by now? That makes you the winner after all.”
Hayama Hayato and Yukinoshita Haruno both knew of the dummy prom plan and had immediately seen through it. I’d barely managed to play check on the king by getting Yukinoshita’s mother on our side. Then in that case, it wouldn’t be any mystery that Yukinoshita Yukino, who held the same specs, would have seen through Hikigaya Hachiman’s shallow thinking.
In the first place, the way Yukinoshita and Isshiki presented their idea had already been prone to errors. But that itself became the clue to my idea of presenting two choices, in which one choice would be crushed and the other would progress.
As I questioned her, Yukinoshita hid her eyes and her neck shook.
“That’s not certain. As long as the faction opposing the prom itself existed, our reasoning couldn’t even become established… But I figured, if it was you, you’d be able to do something about it.
It was just like Yukinoshita to have foreseen such. Just, the smile she added at the end was connected to what she’d said. I wanted to deny it, but I could only foolishly lift one side of my cheek.
“Trust is a heavy thing… It surprises me.”
“I was also surprised. I naturally just thought in that way.”
Yukinoshita smiled bitterly like she was being shy. I felt breathless seeing that. As I wondered how to reply back, Yukinoshita murmured in a fragile voice.
“I depended on you so much that I thought like that…”
Those eyes gazing at me were blurry with regret and sorrow. I couldn’t bear being seen with those eyes that I averted my own and quickly spoke.
“...Even if that’s the case, it doesn’t change the fact it’s your win. The condition for victory was to make the prom a reality using our own methods, was it not. What made it happen was your plan, your methods.”
“...You’re okay with it as my win?”
Her tone of voice as she asked was feeble, and I wanted to cut her off from talking that way that I nodded three times while looking away.
“Then… The match is hereby over. Will you listen to what I have to say?”
I couldn’t pretend to not hear what she’d said. As I looked at Yukinoshita, it seemed as if she’d abandoned her weakness as she clenched her fists and tightened her lips. One of her eyes was shaking with determination as she waited for my impending reply.
“...No, it won’t be that way. It’s true it’s your win this time. But that doesn’t mean you’ve won the entire competition.”
“In regards to the conditions for victory, winning this match means winning the competition, and the other person must listen to what the winner says… I’m sure I said that.”
I became aware of my lips drying up as I watched her explain it indifferently and declare it. I remembered hearing those words in the depths of my memories. While in both impatience and desperation, I somehow opened my mouth.
“...That was just a figure of speech; a difference in opinion.”
As Yukinoshita let out a trembling sigh, she murmured with a sweet tone of voice as if she was whispering sweet nothings.
“Then… You decide.”
As I see that fleeting transparent smile, I come to terms with my own defeat. She knows I wouldn’t be able to answer if she said that.
While securing Yukinoshita Yukino’s autonomy, as long as I’ve decided to respect her own decisions, I can’t allow her to entrust her decisions to anyone else. Even if that someone was myself.
That’s exactly why she accepted this match. For this one moment, all the disagreements, all the disorders, all the misunderstandings; she had brushed it all aside. To properly end this match, and this relationship.
“I can’t make the decision… This is the same as me deciding the winner arbitrarily. Yuigahama is also in this match. And it’s judged at Hiratsuka-sensei’s own discretion and bias. And, and it’s sort of…”
I couldn’t accept that ending. I quickly spoke as I couldn’t allow things to end like this. I didn’t know how to make her wait for just a moment, nor how I could stop her. Forgetting how to even breathe, I was reaching out toward nothingness.
“...I’ll be honest.”
As she interrupted my voice, Yukinoshita smiled sadly and faced me with wet eyes.
“It was fun. It was my first time. I was happy thinking the time we spent together was comfortable…”
Being told she was truly happy with a face that looked as if she would cry, I could no longer deny it nor stop her. As I lost strength in my arms and lowered them, Yukinoshita nodded as if she was thanking me and continued to speak.
“I’d never argued and fought like we did… nor cried in front of others. I was so nervous even when we went out together, and it was the first time I was so unsure of what to do… I didn’t even know it was okay to rely on someone. That’s why it went wrong somewhere…”
I looked up at the ceiling as I listened to her speaking so quickly about unsolicited things in a trembling voice. The distant sunset hurt my eyes, but even so I couldn’t close them and just let out a damp sigh.
“This kind of imitation-like relationship is wrong. It’s definitely different to what you desired.”
Her monologue tied things together like that, and when I realised the end was coming, I finally looked at her face.
“I’m okay. I’m… okay now. I was saved by you.”
Wiping her glistening tears with her fingertips, Yukinoshita Yukino smiled beautifully.
“That’s why, this match, and this relationship, let’s end it with this.”
If that was her answer, I had no reason to make an objection. The objective to help her was achieved, the co-dependency was resolved to end the relationship, and the boy’s stubbornness stood firm.
I didn’t happen to have the mind of fulfilling wishes. The club activities and work ended here.
That’s why I had nothing left. Every reason I had to get involved with her were all gone.
“Alright… It’s my loss.”
I sighed deeply as I spoke as if I was spitting everything out. To fulfil the last responsibility left to me, I questioned her.
“I’ll listen to what you say. What should I do? ...If it’s something I can do, I’ll grant you whatever you want.”
In truth, I’d vowed to at least grant that much, no matter what.
Yukinoshita let out a sigh as if in relief, then she told me something she must have been holding close to her dearly.
“Please grant Yuigahama-san’s wish.”
“Are you fine with that as your request?”
“Yes, this is my request.”
To Yukinoshita who closed her eyes and nodded as if caring for someone, I answered her with the most gentlest smile I could make.
“...Alright.”
Following our last exchange, I stood up from my chair. Yukinoshita didn’t move from that place and the distance between us began to widen just by the sounds of my footsteps as I finally reached the corridor.
And then, softly and gently, I closed the door as if stopping myself from doing so.