guide to girls for the boys

I see a lot of boys here who ask about how to talk to their crush, how to build up their confidence etc (I've done this too) and I wanted to provide a good foundation for all my bois here. In this guide I will tell you how to build your personality up and improve yourself so you can get a girlfriend.

1. Social Anxiety and Awkwardness

You fellas need to fix up on this a lot. A subreddit that helps with this is /r/SocialSkills . No one thinks about you more than yourself and we tend to overthink ourselves in situations. You ever stay up at night thinking of all the cringy shit OTHER PEOPLE did? No. You only think about yourself. Hopefully this shows you how you overthink shit and no one cares about what shit you did in 3rd grade in 4th period math class.

So, build up your social skills, do something outside of your comfort zone even if it's for a second. For example, just ask a girl a random question or a favour - this has 2 benefits, you actually talk to a girl and practice it, and it activates a psychological effect called "the foot in the door" phenomenon, where they subconciously approve of you because they did a favour for you, therefore they must think of you as a great person.

2. Confidence

Confidence is when you're happy with yourself, and KNOW that others are happy with you. It's when you know you can command respect from other people without being insecure.

Sometimes you need to derive confidence from an activity, and something I found that helps is going to the gym and being physically fit. You don't need to go to the gym, just do something physically active every week. Personally I weightlift in the gym 4 days a week and it's really helped my confidence. If you think it's because I'm big, think again, because I'm 5'3 and shorter than most of the boys in my grade. That doesn't stop me from being confident.

A good quote I like to live by is "Do not harm, take no shit" Don't bully people, but take no shit from them either.

A subreddit which helps me with this is /r/Confidence.

3. Have hobbies other than Netflix/Reddit/Spotify to make you interesting

It's always good to have a hobby to make you more interesting to new people. I realised when I found out this girl who sits next to me enjoys to go hiking. It gives her a conversation topic + an outlet that she enjoys doing. You should find something that makes you different from most people, for me this is hitting the gym. Gaming doesn't count, lads.

Some examples for you:

Hiking
Sports
Volunteering/Charity work
A club at your school
Programming
4. Attractiveness

What do you notice that all the bad boys who get good girls have? They have confidence, social skills, something that makes them feel above everyone else. They also LOOK GOOD, which you can do to.

I consider myself a 6/10 on a good day, but some hobbies can make you seem more attractive - sports. Girls like someone who is physically fit, so lose those pounds and start doing some sports. /r/Fitness plug

I would also recommend changing your wardrobe and your hair - they matter. Here's a good subreddit: /r/MaleFashionAdvice

5. Goals

You need to love yourself before you start lovin' girls. This can be derived from acheiving goals. You can aim to get really good grades or aim to lose some pounds.

In order to acheive your goals, surprise, you gotta actually do shit you whacko - /r/GetDisciplined and /r/GetStudying should help, and if you want some motivation - /r/GetMotivated .

Here are some goals you can try to acheive:

I will lose 20 lbs by February.
I will get at least 5 As in my report card.
I will study for an hour per day.
I will talk to 1-2 girls a day.
I will make eye contact with 5 people.
6. Faliure

Faliure is not a person, it's an event. It doesn't define you in 6 months. It's okay to fail. Got rejected by a girl? That's fine, move on. Only got a B in Geography when you studied for hours? That's fine, try some other study technique. There is always room to improve.

An example of personal faliure for me is that I failed to go the gym for 2 weeks because of laziness. I overcame this by working myself more than normal in the gym and not being lazy again.

If you fail, it's a sign that you tried. JK Rowling or whatever had to go to 12 different publishers to publish Harry Potter. Did that stop her from becoming a bestselling author? No.

Every great person failed before they became great. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team and he locked himself in his room and cried. Einstein couldn't speak until he was 4 and his teachers said he would never succeed. I went from being put in special classes in the 4th grade to becoming #1 in maths and chemistry in my high school exams. (I'm pretty great)