p is lying in bed awake. she looks at the clock, 2:00am.
gets up, leaves room. hotel suite. there's a tv and a couch. she goes to the frige, gets a fruit beer, walks over to the couch. stares at e who is sleeping on the couch like an insane person.
she thinks about a cat picture sleeping in an identical postion, hauls his leg out of the way and sits on the couch. she turns on the tv. it's an infomercial.
she examines the bottle as it plays. the room fades to a stage/crowd.
some time passes.
e turns his head and faces the tv.
p: (without looking at him) why do these things look like such a good idea in the middle of the night?
e: aren't these things $120? i already have a blender I don't use.
p: but, like tempting right?
e: i mean, yeah, i definitely want to buy one. good thing i don't sleep with my wallet.
e looks at the coffee table.
e: wait-
p: jetta has it. you have like $90 worth of lemondrop shots on your amex now. just an fyi.
e: that's a lot better than i was expecting.
p: also a pair of Louboutin.
e: yeah, fine.
(magic bullet commercial)

p: can you imagine waking up, hung over at your friend's house and they immediate launch into this creepy tupperware party blender thing?
e: i would run. just run away, on foot. Mark and Mary are obviously trying to get these people into a cult.
p: yeah, you can't trust couples whose name start with the same letter.
p: we should do that at the next hotel.
e: host a blender party or start a cult?
p: cult. I don't know where we'd even get enough blenders.
e: uh, hello, Zazz, we would just order these and mark them up. (p: aaahh) Clash would probably buy three if you put your name on them.
p: But ... We pay Clash, so ... we're .. not making any money.
e: yes we are.
p: we aren't. we're losing money buying the blender.
e: we just have to charge more.
p: i feel like you're not understanding me. or you forgot how money works.
e: math is for the daytime eric.
p: yeah, you get dumber when the sun is down.
e: i'm always dumb, it's just harder to tell when i have a suit on.
p: not that much harder.

(magic bullet commercial)

e: So why are you awake?
p: infomercial time.
e: no, see, that's why I'M awake. Why are you awake and drinking ... wow, a raspalicious vodka cooler. yikes.
p: i just couldn't sleep.
e: just spit it out.
p; you hate hearing about feelings.
e: i hate it less than i hate not being asleep.
p: ........i think stormer likes kimber benton.
e: uh oh.
p: yeah, uh oh! if she -... stormer can't be trusted anymore.
e: how'd you make that jump?
p: she'll ... tell her all our secrets, eric! our weaknesses!
e: what - are they DATING? Or just ... you THINK she likes her?
p: It's just the beginning.
e: ok just
p: she's going to tell them everything!
e: what everything? what the fuck don't they know? the five of us talk constantly, loudly, about everything we do.
p: well i don't know.
e: god forbid, kimber benton knows jetta's lactose intolerant and ... poisons her a string cheese and we have to deal with her shitting for an hour and a half.
p: you don't know that won't happen.
e: she already does that on her own! we've had to have meetings in the ladies room.
p: what, you don't have anything you'd rather the stupid holograms don't know?
e: well i mean, i don't want to tell them about that fistfight with ben folds...
p: they'll know all our business.
e: You're getting ahead of yourself. You can... be attracted to somebody without every getting together with them. It's probably just a crush, if it's anything.
p: Yeah, but IF they start dating, then ... what?
e: then we just get a little more subtle. Not our strong suit, I know.