Once upon a time, Anaximenes was enjoying himself on the playground of the cylinder-shaped world of Anaximander. He had been playing the fire-air game with Heracleitos. This mega giga uber pro game was like a “capture the flag”-game in which the winner is right about his theory. Anaximenes won which meant that everything had come forth from air and NOT from fire, like Heracleitos had been claiming. Heracleitos wanted a rematch, but this time with real swords and sharks and fire and screaming emo's and shit. Heracleitos phoned his soulmate (lolwat) Democritus and added a new special effect to the game: Atomise!!! Because he believed that atoms and emptiness, or the nothingness, were the only things that existed. But, Anaximenes still pwn'd them all and headshot Democritus, he also said “from atoms, thou art, and to atoms, thou shall return!”. Heracleitos screamed, hard.. like the Hertz that a fucken' whale produces, so Anaximenes set him on fire and he died and he thought to himself “L0L, isn't this ironic?? He said everything had begun with fire and now he shall go in fire!! :D ”

Parmenides was a good man at heart and he hated Heracleitos because the first one claimed that the world could not change at all and could not move at all. In fact, he facepalmed so much over Heracleitos' misconceptions that cerebral damage had caused him to say that everything was eternal, like hmgwtfbbq he was, because he was wondering, if that were true, then where has his intergalactically declared most sexiest sixpack gone to..but then he realised “Owait, I have never trained my abdominals because it serves no purpose as muscles can't change, BECAUSE everything is UN, I repeat, UN-changable.. He was such a real headbanger for that, so let's focus on someone else.

Suddenly a wild Plato appeared in Athens, but the city was getting owned by Sparta. “Hmg, run for your life” everyone said and so it happened: Sparta won. When Plato returned he saw a board hanging above the city gates of Athens: “THIS IS SPARTAAAAA!!! Now get off my lawn!!!”. And so Plato got off Sparta's lawn.

Just before midnight when Plato was dreaming about why horny unicorns are not real horses, as he hadn't read Aristotle's classification of 540 existing animal species yet , a sofist saw Socrates planking on an empty box that needed to be filled with empiristic observations and the sofist said “¿Qué tal?”. Socrates shouted that he didn't speak Indo-Chinese and that he didn't care because he knows the boundaries of knowledge which makes him a very wise person. He also added that the sofist must be stupid for not knowing that and then the sofist reacted with “Take a chill pill, bro, I am the cleverest person on earth and I am right because it's all relative, mate.” And he walked away. BUT!!! Socrates, a passionate anti-relativist, got mad and screamed “Duel me if thou hast the guts for it, standst up for thyself, but I know thou art the sof'st of us here!” (got the pun? lol). “Challenge accepted!” said the sofist, but then shooting star hit his head and he went B00M dead.

To celebrate his victory, Socrates decided to throw a tea party with lots of tea, ice and microwavable pizza. He invited Anaximander, Plato, Aristotle, Alexander the Great (wtf a king at your party) and their wives and kids because none of them enjoyed hot, sxc woman with beautiful shapes (well, maybe the emperor did). Why? Because they all believed one should not fall for whatever the eyes desire most and the hearts and souls desire least. O small detail, Socrates had also been sentenced to death so instead of drinking lots of tea, he drank a Niagara Waterfall-sized cup containing lots of poison, deadly poison that kills INSTANTLY. He didn't mind because it would set him free and so he would be able to escape from the awful body he had been trapped in. That thought eased the pain, remember INSTANTLY. 2500 years later, they still have not found a pain killer that eases the pain instantly (rageface.png) and Socrates did it with 1 sip... prone to cause a scientific revolution..

The End.