Oddballs - Part I

"The end of another day."
>You give a tired sigh and collapse into your easy chair.
>At once your legs pop up into the air, landing with a weighty thud on the stool in front of you.
>Squirming down into your chair, you smile and cross your hands over your middle, staring at the far wall.
>Photographs and pictures line the wall, memories of times past, both happy and sad, with all the residents of Ponyville represented.
>Looking at them, you can't help but feel a rush of familiar delight at how wonderfully kind the ponies have been.
>But a nagging soon pulls those thoughts away, as it always seems to do.
>Because you are Anonymous.
>The only human in Equestria.
>And you do not belong here.
>After staring at the photographs for a while longer, you close your eyes and try to push the loneliness from your mind.
>Of course, the ponies are wonderful, caring creatures and have gone to great lengths to make you feel comfortable.
>But this is not your life.
>This is not your home.
>And, if Twilight Sparkle is correct, returning you to the familiar world you left behind is an impossibility.
>You sigh and try, again, to ignore your situation.
>It's not like you can do anything about it anyway, you're human.
>You don't have magic.
>Equestria doesn't devote many resources to the advancement of science, and even if they did, construction of a trans-dimensional portal is a few hundred pay grades above yours.
>So all you can do is sit.
>And wait.
>And enjoy the company of the ponies.
>...
>You need a drink.
>Getting to your feet, you make your way to the kitchen, but as you're rounding the corner you hear a small rap, rap, rapping against your door.
"Must be a guest. Or Foal Scouts..."
>Ugh. Foal scouts. No way are you answering that door.
>You grumble to yourself, grabbing your cider and turning back to the living room.
>As you pass by the entry again, you pause and stare at the door.
>The seconds tick by and you finally sigh, calling out.

"Who's there? It's late and I'm not taking visitors."
>Another pause, and a small voice at last calls out.
>"A-Anon? It's me, Spike."
>The dragon? What does he want?
>It's not like the two of you spend much time together, in fact he seems keen on avoiding you since you accidentally stepped on his tail during your first visit to Twilight's.
>You raise an eyebrow and weigh your options.
>At last, you roll your eyes and decide to shoo the kid on his way.
>Plodding over to the door, you pull it open and put on your best mean face.
"Look squirt, I'm not interested in whatever it is you've got. Unless it's a way home. Otherwise, skedaddle."
>Unfortunately, you don't get past the word 'look' as the words catch in your throat when Spike stares up at you.
>His eyes are wet with tears as he shuffles his weight from one foot to the other.
>The seconds tick by and he finally clears his throat.
>"H-hey Anon."
>Damnit. He sounds miserable.
>You sigh and step aside.
"All right little guy, come on in."
>The baby dragon doesn't need to be told twice, hurrying into your home before you can change your mind.
>You shut the door behind him and take a pull from your cider.
>If the first few seconds are any indication, you're going to need a lot more to get through this.
>Making your way back to the living room, you spot Spike already perched on your sofa, staring down at his claws as he awkwardly taps them together.
>You give your chair a longing look before sighing and sitting down beside the dragon.
>An uncomfortable silence settles in between the two of you, Spike clearly wrestling with what to say, and you not giving a shake as you take another drink.
>Unfortunately, the purple pony's partner eventually works up the courage to speak.
>"Um, Anon?"
"Yup."
>Your curt response curtails his own, if only for a few seconds.
>Taking a breath, he fixes you with as serious an expression as he can muster and asks
>"How do you deal with being different?"

>Huh?
"Huh?"
>You laugh a little, shaking your head and trying to wipe the incredulous look off your face.
>Wouldn't want to offend the little guy.
>Too late.
>"I'm serious!"
>Spike hops up and walks over to you, balancing himself in spite of the awkward yielding of the cushions under his feet.
>"You're the most unusual pony, person, living in Ponyville! Twilight even said so!"
>A twitch rolls up your back and you feel your shoulders tense.
>Spike backs down almost immediately, focusing his attention on the cushions beneath his feet.
>"S-sorry, I wasn't supposed to say that."
>You take another sip.
"S'alright."
>It's really not.
>Spike is clear on that much.
>Before the uncomfortable silence can return, you clear your throat.
"Why you so interested in how I deal with being different anyway?"
>With a heavy sigh, Spike plops back down onto the couch and begins kicking his legs.
>"Well, ever since Twilight became a Princess... no, if I'm really honest, before she became a Princess too, I've just felt strange and out of place. I mean, I'm not a pony."
>You grunt and nod.
"That's obvious."
>Ignoring your snide commentary, the dragon continues.
>"But, I'm not really a dragon either. So I'm caught somewhere in between and I don't know what to do with myself. I thought, maybe, you might have an idea?"
>Spike's voice trails off as you looks up at you, his eyes sparkling with expectation.
>Great.
>You grumble a few choice words under your breath and scratch at the back of your head.
"Listen lizard-bro, I'm probably not the best guy to be asking about this kind of stuff. After all, I'm even more lost than you are. Why don't you ask Big Mac, or Mr. Cake?"
>"Because they're ponies!"
>Spike slams his paws down on his knees with a resounding smack, the action nearly causing you to spill your beverage.

>The dragon's scales seem to take on a red tint around his cheeks as he pulls back and sighs.
>"Sorry, but I don't think that they really understand. I mean, no matter what, they're always going to be ponies, right?"
"Mm."
>"But you, and me, we're..."
>He shudders a little and shakes his head.
>"We're never going to be like them. We're never going to really fit in, no matter how hard we try."
>The kid pauses for a moment, then looks up at you, his eyes telling of a deep ache in his heart that's just begging to escape.
>"Are we...?"
>That look.
>You know that look.
>The boy's hurting something fierce, and the things he's dealing with, well, they're rough for anyone to confront, but especially for a kid his age.
>Deciding to sidestep the difficult question for the moment, you smirk and tap your bottle against the back of the couch.
"You got burned, huh?"
>Spike's eyes widen as he gulps.
>"Wh- no, no way! I'm a dragon! Dragon's don't get burned!"
>Oh yeah.
>He got burned.
>You chuckle and lean in a little closer, a conspiratorial tone slipping into your voice.
"It was Rarity, wasn't it?"

>The sudden rush of color to the dragon's cheeks is the only answer you need.
>With a brief chuckle, you knock back the rest of your drink and get to your feet.
"Ah well, that's how it goes sometimes."
>Stretching your arms over your head, you turn your back to the kid and pop your back and shoulders as you continue talking.
"Broads have trouble seeing what's right in front of their faces sometimes. Not that knuckleheads like you an' me are much different, but gals don't know that they can hurt some guys like they do."
>Dropping your arms, you glance over your shoulder and smile at the lizard.
"No reason to get all doom and gloom about it. Just dust yourself off and give it another go later."
>As you make your way back to the icebox, Spike bounces off the sofa and tromps after you.
>"But I've been DOING that."
"So give up if you're tired of fighting."
>Digging in the fridge, you finally find your amber prize, chuckling to yourself as you pop the cap off on the edge of the counter.
"Nobody's forcing you to keep at it."
>The baby dragon gives a groan of protest, placing his hands on either side of his head and giving it a shake.
>"But I love her so much!"
>Leaning back against the edge of the counter, you nod and attempt to look thoughtful.
>It's difficult with a long neck stuck to your lips, but Spike's too wrapped up in his own little drama to notice.
"Then keep at it like I said before."
>Huffing, the dragon nods and scowls at the ground.
>"I guess so. But I'm pretty sick of being looked over all the time."
>You suppress a smile as the rather indignant lizard kicks at the floor.
>He's still such a kid.
"All right."
>Grunting, you push yourself to your feet and hold your hand out to the surprised reptile.
"Then, we'll agree to get you out of Ponyville for a couple of days. You and me, we'll have ourselves a little adventure, just us oddballs."
>A momentary flash of panic bursts across Spike's face as he looks at your hand.
>"A-Anon, I can't do that, Twilight needs me! What if she needs to send a letter to Princess Celestia? What if she needs help finding a book?"
>His claws rush to his mouth as terror enters his eyes.
>"What if the library needs to be dusted!?"
>...
>Seriously?"
>You sigh and rub at the back of your neck.
"Hey, buddy."
>Still uncertain and mildly unhinged, Spike looks back up at you.
"I'm pretty sure nothing's going to go wrong over three or four days."
>Huffing a little, Spike crosses his arms over his chest and grumbles.
>"You don't know Twilight. Trouble follows that mare closer than the flies on her rump."
>A small chuckle escapes your lips, which quickly grows into a hearty laugh.
>After several seconds, Spike joins in, grinning from ear to ear.
>When you both finally settle down, you flash Spike a smile and shake your head.
"Well, your important 'royal duties' aside, the whole point of my suggestion is to benefit you."
>The dragon cocks his head to the side.
>"What do you mean?"
"I mean..."
>You sigh and put a hand on your hip, trying to come up with a delicate way to frame this.
>It doesn't come, so you decide to go full speed ahead.
"I mean you're always going around acting like Twilight's pet. Waiting on her hoof and, uh, hoof."
>As you struggle to come up with a better analogy, you catch sight of the stunned scaly child, his mouth half open as he tries to process what you just said.
>"P-pet?"
>You shrug and give a wry grin.
"Yeah. I mean, you never seem to do anything for yourself, it's always on Twilight's time."
>Spike's face is coloring again as he begins to work himself up into a tizzy.
>You brace yourself for what will undoubtedly be the largest explosion of the young dragon's life.
>"D-DO NOT!"
>...
>How disappointing.
>Suppressing a sigh, you take another lengthy drink and roll your eyes.
"Sure, Spike. I mean, you've already proven me wrong by coming here tonight, right?"
>After mulling that over for a moment, Spike grins and puffs himself up.
>"Th-that's right! I came over here all on my own."
"Right, right. So, there's life outside the library."
>As you watch the dragon, he nods enthusiastically.
>"Yeah."
"So, why do you spend most of your time going on adventures when Twilight or one of her friends says it's time to go?"
>That takes a bit of the wind out of his sails.
>You press on.
"Or stay behind to hold down the fort?"
>Spike's shoulders sag as he stares at the ground.
"I mean, have you done anything for you lately?"
>The seconds tick by, and then Spike's head jerks up.
>"Well, there was this one time, during the dragon migration..."
>Reaching down, you grab him by the shoulders and put yourself at eye level with the baby lizard.
"Spike. That was three years ago. If that's the last time you went out without permission, you're well overdue for an adventure."
>Despite seeming somewhat put off by your statement, there's a flash of understanding behind those big green eyes.
>"D-do you really think so?"
"Positive."
>Getting to your feet, you finish off your cider and drop the bottle in the sink.
"Anyway, I could use a chance to get out of town myself, stretch my legs a bit. So, clear your schedule, we'll take ourselves a little camping trip three days from now."
>Spike's eyes threaten to bulge of his head as he stares at you.
>"Three days? From today?"
>You grunt and nod.
"Yeah, for sure. I'd say we go sooner, but I've got to clean some of this perishable stuff out of my fridge. Can't have it going bad after all."
>"B-but..."
>Placing a hand on the back of the boy's head, you guide him towards the front door and onto the porch.
"Three days. Make sure Twilight knows tonight, because I'm going to tell her tomorrow."
>Spike turns, and shakes his head.
>"But, that's not nearly enough time! I mean, all the things I have to d-"
"Three days."
>You declare again, holding up three fingers and giving Spike a firm nod before shutting the door in his face.
>Well.
>This should be interesting.
>Grinning to yourself, you hustle back to the kitchen and start on dinner.
>No use in letting that slab of beef go bad after all.