historical person in hell part 2

from /hhg/ - Helluva Hotel General #814
part 1: h ttps://pastebin.com/89R98haS
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Genghis Khan and Cain are done. Gonna start on Mother Teresa then L. Ron Hubbard then Ted Kaczynski and finally Alexander the Great.
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>Mother Teresa after decades of service to God has finally been rewarded. After her unfortunate passing on September 5th of 1997. She was finally getting into Heaven. Her hard work had finally been rewarded.
>Teresa appeared outside the pearly gates of Heaven and oh, so amazing they looked. It’s as if God himself crafted it with the finest and purest gold imaginable. Not a single bit of rust. No imperfections either.
>Teresa approached the gates and Saint Peter welcomed her.

>”Ave Saint Mother Mary Teresa Bojaxhiu. It’s a pleasure to welcome you to Heaven. But we need to talk a little. It’s over some of the less… favorable things you did.”

>”Yes I’m aware of my sin. But no one besides the Lord is sinless.”

>”No Mary. It’s over your very unethical decisions while aiding others. While you saved hundreds, possibly thousands, and maybe even tens of thousands and made hundreds of thousands suffer less you still did some rather terrible deeds.

>Saint Peter went through his book of names and continued speaking with a semi-harsh tone.

>”Mary, you forced people to convert even when they weren’t able to consent and even during and after death you baptized them even when they were of Islamic and Hindu origins. While it did save them, none of them were too pleased when they got told they were Christain.”

>”But Peter I still saved the-”

>”Let me finish. We had to throw many of them into Hell as many of them admitted to not being Christain and some of them weren’t really good people. This also isn’t bringing up the topic that your hospices are terrible. You forced nuns and volunteers to become makeshift doctors. Many people died due to your lack of professional staff.”
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>”I did not have the ability to hir-”

“LIAR!”

>Peter roared but quickly regained his composure.

>”You had prestige, money, and connections. You even met the Pope. One of the holiest mortals. You could’ve saved a lot more people if you used some of that money. You also focused more on Christianity than saving people. GOOD CHRISTIANS died due to your incompetence. GOOD PEOPLE died due to your incompetence. A lot of folks up here did not appreciate some of your shortcomings.”

>Peter breathes in and out and sighs slightly.

>”But you did good. A lot of good. You helped a lot more than you harmed. You were branded a saint. You helped people at their worst. You manage to get people to see the truth. You’re welcomed into Heaven. And if I had to be honest.. You’re one of the better saints. The church down there ain’t exactly competent anymore.”

>Peter writes something down and the pearly gates open and Mary says one last thing to Peter before entering.

>”Thank you.”
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The Saint, The Khan, and The tortured man are finished. Up next is the Cult leader. ( L. Ron Hubbard )
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>The Occult and Sorts

>Hubbard is a man with a lot of strange beliefs, knowledge, and accomplishments. He started a major cult, researched the occult, published 600 books, was the captain of two ships, was a veteran, and was very mentally ill.
>But he was determined, intelligent, charismatic, and generally understood how to manipulate and control people. Someone like that being sent to Hell is very dangerous.

>When Hubbard passed into the human world he was sent to Hell. At first, he was falling and thought this must’ve been the next dimension. But then he saw the pentagrams and realized that he was wrong. So very wrong.
>A large thud was heard when he hit the ground and after eventually waking up from his fall he realized that he was fucked. He had no power, no connections, and plenty of enemies if he proclaimed that he was the man who created Scientology.
>So he just kept hidden and just tried to survive through whatever means were needed. At first, he was just a bum who ate from the trash and fought other bums but after barely surviving the first extermination.
>Turns out exterminators look through dumpsters because people always hide in them. Thankfully the thing got distracted by some poor guy screaming.

>Hubbard decided to get a job.
>What was the great and powerful L. Ron Hubbard job!?! The man who created a religion with hundreds of thousands of followers, a religion with churches across the planet, a religion that eventually became a business empire!?! Garbage collection. Ron collected garbage.
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>The job paid surprisingly well as it went through... The cannibal colonies. Ron’s entire job was collecting the corpses of poor people who got captured and chopped up by cannibals.
>Hubbard wasn’t bothered by the corpses but the smell... The smell of death and decay was god awful and he thought about chopping his nose off with an exterminator spear just to not smell it.
>It was a good gig all things considered. He collected garbage, went through terrible smells, but was liked by the cannibals due to his charisma and well collecting their garbage. Some of them even offered drinks and human flesh whenever Hubbard came by.
>Sometimes he got eaten but such is life as a garbage collector in the cannibal colonies. But at least they were kind enough to give some payment.
>With the job he managed to secure himself a place and had a rather stable life for quite a few years.

>After securing himself a good position he quit his job and started writing. Writing about what exactly? Scientology. Using the funds he secured himself and his writing abilities he started publishing book after book about his religion and life in the mortal world.
>This gained him a large amount of infamy as many were aware of Scientology tricks but a few became believers. The few eventually became many as thousands flocked to Hubbard. The thousands slowly became tens of thousands.
>Hubbard proclaimed that Hell was the next dimension. Overnight a new cult was born and Hubbard became a major player in Hell’s politics as he had the funds, influence, and connections to once again start his previous lifestyle on Earth.
>Ron used the funds his followers gave him and bought tanks, armored cars, and even a helicopter and would use them to move around Hell.

>By 2019 Hubbard was still alive and well. His cult continued to gain members and now had hundreds of thousands of followers. The Land org was massive with many vehicles being under Hubbard’s command.
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Made a shtty JoJo meme as well. So here ya go.

>But disaster struck! Lucifer appeared in front of Hubbard when he was looking at his tanks.

>”Hey Hubby! Just need to tell you something.. You need to pay taxes!”

>Hubbard awoke from his nightmare in a cold sweat and thanked Xenu for letting him not pay taxes. He whispered to himself.

>”Imagine paying taxes.. I’d fistfight Lucifer if he told me to pay up…”

>Suddenly Hubbard heard a scratch and he saw Lucifer in the corner of his room. Lucifer put his hands up.

>”Pay your fking taxes, Ron!”

>Ron got off his bed and put his hands up as well.

>”Fk you. This is a religious organization. Taxes are null and void here!”

>Ron starts walking towards Lucifer and Lucifer just laughs and comments.

>”Oh, you’re approaching me Ronny boy? I didn’t think you would try to attack ME.”

>”Can’t kick your ass unless I get closer.”

>(Queue JoJo music here)

h ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MtOpB5LlUA

>Ron list and paid his taxes but it was still pretty fking funny for Lucifer and he still tells the story of when he beat up L. Ron Hubbard for not paying his taxes.