Last Christmas, I gave you my glasses
But the very next day, you stomped all over it
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to Robert Pattinson

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the chimneys glisten and elves listen
To hear Santa's footsteps in the snow

You were charming
You were down to earth
Monarch of England
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
The crowd were swinging
All the elves they were singing
You asked me to love
And then we did leap

But then last Christmas, I gave you my glasses
And the very next day, you stomped all over it
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to Robert Pattinson instead

You're immoral
You're stupid
Happy Christmas to you
I pray God it's your last day on earth

Rockin' around the Christmas garden tree
At the Christmas party Ihop,
Rockin' around the Christmas garden tree,
Let the Christmas spirit ring,
Later I'll have some sprouts
And me and Robert Pattinson will leap

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about expensive cars
I just want Robert Pattinson for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true oh
All I want for Christmas is Robert Pattinson

Oh, Robert Pattinson yeah, oh Robert Pattinson yeah
Robert Pattinson the road sweeper is a beautiful, optimistic soul
Robert Pattinson the road sweeper is a fairy tale they say

Robert Pattinson baby, I want you and really that is all
I'll wait up for you, dear
Robert Pattinson baby, won't you leap with me tonight?

So here it is, white Christmas
Everybody's here to love
Look to the future now
It's only just begun

Simply having a white Christmastime
Simply having a white Christmastime