tpbolon

Long Shot (2019)

Jul 17th, 2019
2,017
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  1. 1
  2. 00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:12,100
  3. Sub By Black Hawk
  4.  
  5. 2
  6. 00:00:56,188 --> 00:00:57,690
  7. <i> I don't know
  8. what the fuck is going on</i>
  9.  
  10. 3
  11. 00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:59,458
  12. <i> in this country, man!</i>
  13.  
  14. 4
  15. 00:00:59,458 --> 00:01:01,794
  16. <i> Every day I turn on the TV,</i>
  17.  
  18. 5
  19. 00:01:01,794 --> 00:01:05,664
  20. <i>and I see these fucking freaks
  21. marching for their rights!</i>
  22.  
  23. 6
  24. 00:01:07,599 --> 00:01:09,367
  25. What about our rights?
  26.  
  27. 7
  28. 00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:13,539
  29. This is our time
  30. to show the world
  31.  
  32. 8
  33. 00:01:13,539 --> 00:01:15,574
  34. that we are not
  35. just an online movement!
  36.  
  37. 9
  38. 00:01:17,476 --> 00:01:18,644
  39. <i> We're growing physically!</i>
  40.  
  41. 10
  42. 00:01:18,644 --> 00:01:21,346
  43. This is our time
  44. to assert ourselves
  45.  
  46. 11
  47. 00:01:21,346 --> 00:01:23,382
  48. as the true voice of America!
  49.  
  50. 12
  51. 00:01:23,382 --> 00:01:25,551
  52. Yeah!
  53.  
  54. 13
  55. 00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:26,819
  56. Yes, let's do that!
  57.  
  58. 14
  59. 00:01:26,819 --> 00:01:29,488
  60. Now, you may have noticed
  61.  
  62. 15
  63. 00:01:29,488 --> 00:01:31,690
  64. that our friend Aryan Grande
  65.  
  66. 16
  67. 00:01:31,690 --> 00:01:33,425
  68. has brought in a new recruit.
  69.  
  70. 17
  71. 00:01:33,425 --> 00:01:36,194
  72. FucktheJews82.
  73. Welcome, brother!
  74.  
  75. 18
  76. 00:01:36,194 --> 00:01:38,165
  77. Yeah!
  78.  
  79. 19
  80. 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:41,233
  81. Hi.<i> Heil. Heil,</i> everybody.
  82.  
  83. 20
  84. 00:01:41,233 --> 00:01:43,169
  85. White power. Obviously.
  86.  
  87. 21
  88. 00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:46,205
  89. Been a big fan of you guys
  90. for a while.
  91.  
  92. 22
  93. 00:01:46,205 --> 00:01:47,373
  94. Since World War II, really.
  95.  
  96. 23
  97. 00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:51,477
  98. That's when you made your
  99. big entrance, on the scene.
  100.  
  101. 24
  102. 00:01:51,477 --> 00:01:54,915
  103. And, uh... Yeah.
  104. Just, um, in closing...
  105.  
  106. 25
  107. 00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:58,915
  108. Fuck the Jews!
  109.  
  110. 26
  111. 00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:58,217
  112. Yeah!
  113.  
  114. 27
  115. 00:01:58,217 --> 00:02:00,217
  116. Welcome!
  117.  
  118. 28
  119. 00:02:02,254 --> 00:02:03,422
  120. Let's fucking party!
  121.  
  122. 29
  123. 00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:15,768
  124. So you guys are, like, pretty
  125. active on social media, right?
  126.  
  127. 30
  128. 00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:16,902
  129. Yeah.
  130.  
  131. 31
  132. 00:02:16,902 --> 00:02:18,937
  133. How many times a day would you
  134. say you tweet on average?
  135.  
  136. 32
  137. 00:02:18,937 --> 00:02:21,937
  138. Hey, FTJ!
  139.  
  140. 33
  141. 00:02:18,937 --> 00:02:21,539
  142. Yo!
  143.  
  144. 34
  145. 00:02:21,539 --> 00:02:23,876
  146. You said you wanted
  147. a swastika tattoo.
  148.  
  149. 35
  150. 00:02:23,876 --> 00:02:25,312
  151. Now's your chance.
  152.  
  153. 36
  154. 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,781
  155. Yeah, you know, I've been
  156. thinking about it. I'm cool.
  157.  
  158. 37
  159. 00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:31,691
  160. Come on, man.
  161. We all got 'em!
  162.  
  163. 38
  164. 00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:40,359
  165. You guys want me to get
  166. a swastika tattoo?
  167.  
  168. 39
  169. 00:02:40,359 --> 00:02:41,759
  170. Yeah!
  171.  
  172. 40
  173. 00:02:41,759 --> 00:02:43,263
  174. I will get a swastika tattoo.
  175.  
  176. 41
  177. 00:02:44,263 --> 00:02:45,663
  178. Um...
  179.  
  180. 42
  181. 00:02:45,663 --> 00:02:46,435
  182. Yeah.
  183.  
  184. 43
  185. 00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,404
  186. Hey, take over, man.
  187. I got to take a piss.
  188.  
  189. 44
  190. 00:02:53,305 --> 00:02:55,241
  191. Super cool, guys.
  192. Thank you for this.
  193.  
  194. 45
  195. 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:56,575
  196. This is really exciting.
  197.  
  198. 46
  199. 00:02:57,575 --> 00:02:59,777
  200. All right, here we go!
  201.  
  202. 47
  203. 00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:03,414
  204. Ooh, right! Yeah!
  205.  
  206. 48
  207. 00:03:03,414 --> 00:03:04,883
  208. That hurt?
  209.  
  210. 49
  211. 00:03:04,883 --> 00:03:06,654
  212. On many levels. Yes.
  213.  
  214. 50
  215. 00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:09,556
  216. Fuck!
  217.  
  218. 51
  219. 00:03:10,556 --> 00:03:12,859
  220. Hey! This you?
  221.  
  222. 52
  223. 00:03:13,859 --> 00:03:15,562
  224. You're a journalist?
  225.  
  226. 53
  227. 00:03:16,562 --> 00:03:17,830
  228. Yeah!
  229.  
  230. 54
  231. 00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:20,466
  232. We all got to be
  233. fucking journalists
  234. in this day and age,
  235.  
  236. 55
  237. 00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:23,401
  238. mainstream media not covering
  239. our side of the story!
  240.  
  241. 56
  242. 00:03:23,401 --> 00:03:25,437
  243. His name is Fred Flarsky.
  244.  
  245. 57
  246. 00:03:25,437 --> 00:03:26,006
  247. He writes for
  248. the<i> Brooklyn Advocate.</i>
  249.  
  250. 58
  251. 00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:29,006
  252. He's a fucking Jew!
  253.  
  254. 59
  255. 00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:29,675
  256. What?
  257.  
  258. 60
  259. 00:03:29,675 --> 00:03:32,646
  260. Look, look, look.
  261. Okay, okay, okay. Hey!
  262.  
  263. 61
  264. 00:03:34,646 --> 00:03:35,514
  265. What are you doing here?
  266.  
  267. 62
  268. 00:03:35,514 --> 00:03:36,982
  269. You're here to fucking
  270. embarrass us, huh?
  271.  
  272. 63
  273. 00:03:36,982 --> 00:03:38,982
  274. Who sent you?
  275.  
  276. 64
  277. 00:03:36,982 --> 00:03:38,950
  278. No one sent me!
  279.  
  280. 65
  281. 00:03:38,950 --> 00:03:40,718
  282. It's okay. I'm... I'm...
  283.  
  284. 66
  285. 00:03:40,718 --> 00:03:43,455
  286. He's been recording us
  287. the whole time!
  288.  
  289. 67
  290. 00:03:43,455 --> 00:03:45,958
  291. Fucking shit, man!
  292. You infiltrated our group!
  293.  
  294. 68
  295. 00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:47,860
  296. You're gonna fucking die!
  297.  
  298. 69
  299. 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:48,761
  300. How do you
  301. turn this thing off?
  302.  
  303. 70
  304. 00:03:48,761 --> 00:03:50,697
  305. The fucking red button,
  306. right there, man!
  307.  
  308. 71
  309. 00:03:57,669 --> 00:03:59,372
  310. Holy shit!
  311.  
  312. 72
  313. 00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:09,315
  314. Yeah!
  315.  
  316. 73
  317. 00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:11,051
  318. Not only did I escape...
  319.  
  320. 74
  321. 00:04:13,051 --> 00:04:15,086
  322. I held onto my phone!
  323.  
  324. 75
  325. 00:04:15,086 --> 00:04:17,755
  326. Yes! Ow!
  327.  
  328. 76
  329. 00:04:19,757 --> 00:04:21,526
  330. I trusted you, man!
  331.  
  332. 77
  333. 00:04:21,526 --> 00:04:23,095
  334. Yeah, well...
  335.  
  336. 78
  337. 00:04:23,095 --> 00:04:25,531
  338. Jews win this round,
  339. motherfucker!
  340.  
  341. 79
  342. 00:04:26,531 --> 00:04:28,800
  343. Peace! Ow.
  344.  
  345. 80
  346. 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,401
  347. <i>Tonight on</i> Wembley News,
  348.  
  349. 81
  350. 00:04:30,401 --> 00:04:32,637
  351. <i> we take an in-depth look
  352. at Charlotte Field,</i>
  353.  
  354. 82
  355. 00:04:32,637 --> 00:04:35,440
  356. <i> a Rhodes Scholar,
  357. a Pulitzer winner,</i>
  358.  
  359. 83
  360. 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,110
  361. <i> and protege
  362. of President Chambers,</i>
  363.  
  364. 84
  365. 00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:39,012
  366. <i>who tapped Field two years ago</i>
  367.  
  368. 85
  369. 00:04:40,012 --> 00:04:42,480
  370. <i> to be the youngest
  371. secretary of state</i>
  372.  
  373. 86
  374. 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:43,882
  375. <i>in the history of this nation.</i>
  376.  
  377. 87
  378. 00:04:43,882 --> 00:04:46,351
  379. <i> And honestly,
  380. looking hotter than usual.</i>
  381.  
  382. 88
  383. 00:04:46,351 --> 00:04:48,120
  384. <i> Now, people are gonna say
  385. that's sexist,</i>
  386.  
  387. 89
  388. 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,122
  389. <i> but, she's just hot!</i>
  390.  
  391. 90
  392. 00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:51,622
  393. <i> You know,
  394. when we talk about women
  395. in this way,</i>
  396.  
  397. 91
  398. 00:04:51,622 --> 00:04:53,358
  399. <i> it is because
  400. we respect them so much,</i>
  401.  
  402. 92
  403. 00:04:53,358 --> 00:04:54,793
  404. <i>and we start with their body.</i>
  405.  
  406. 93
  407. 00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:56,432
  408. <i> You two are terrible.</i>
  409.  
  410. 94
  411. 00:05:00,432 --> 00:05:02,432
  412. Good night, Steven.
  413.  
  414. 95
  415. 00:05:00,432 --> 00:05:02,637
  416. Good night, Madam Secretary.
  417.  
  418. 96
  419. 00:05:06,637 --> 00:05:08,574
  420. Sorry for the late call,
  421. Mr. Foreign Minister.
  422.  
  423. 97
  424. 00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:09,675
  425. Long day.
  426.  
  427. 98
  428. 00:05:09,675 --> 00:05:11,142
  429. Three bilaterals.
  430.  
  431. 99
  432. 00:05:11,142 --> 00:05:13,911
  433. Listen, we're not going to be
  434. able to do it.
  435.  
  436. 100
  437. 00:05:13,911 --> 00:05:16,148
  438. There's just not enough
  439. traction around this thing.
  440.  
  441. 101
  442. 00:05:16,148 --> 00:05:19,151
  443. I believe in it, it's just...
  444. I don't have Congress support.
  445.  
  446. 102
  447. 00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:20,853
  448. I don't have
  449. the American people's support.
  450.  
  451. 103
  452. 00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:22,920
  453. I know you and I
  454. don't like it, Chuck,
  455.  
  456. 104
  457. 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,656
  458. but you know who likes it?
  459.  
  460. 105
  461. 00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:27,892
  462. 88% of college-educated
  463. Americans over 45.
  464.  
  465. 106
  466. 00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,461
  467. Likely voters.
  468.  
  469. 107
  470. 00:05:29,461 --> 00:05:31,105
  471. That's Gallup.
  472. We have to make this happen.
  473.  
  474. 108
  475. 00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:10,134
  476. Well, I wouldn't call
  477. the president inexperienced.
  478.  
  479. 109
  480. 00:06:10,134 --> 00:06:11,702
  481. I mean,
  482. he did play a president
  483.  
  484. 110
  485. 00:06:11,702 --> 00:06:15,541
  486. on a very popular television
  487. show for over a decade.
  488.  
  489. 111
  490. 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,776
  491. You don't get
  492. six Golden Globe nominations
  493.  
  494. 112
  495. 00:06:17,776 --> 00:06:19,877
  496. without being
  497. pretty convincing.
  498.  
  499. 113
  500. 00:06:19,877 --> 00:06:22,447
  501. Um, I do think I'm funny.
  502.  
  503. 114
  504. 00:06:22,447 --> 00:06:24,216
  505. I'm sorry, I thought
  506. this interview was about
  507.  
  508. 115
  509. 00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:26,685
  510. promoting democracy
  511. in Eastern Europe.
  512.  
  513. 116
  514. 00:06:26,685 --> 00:06:28,487
  515. All right, next one's BBC.
  516.  
  517. 117
  518. 00:06:28,487 --> 00:06:29,855
  519. <i> Would you be asking
  520. a male cabinet member</i>
  521.  
  522. 118
  523. 00:06:29,855 --> 00:06:31,124
  524. <i> what products they use
  525. in their hair?</i>
  526.  
  527. 119
  528. 00:06:32,124 --> 00:06:33,791
  529. I'm just kidding.
  530.  
  531. 120
  532. 00:06:33,791 --> 00:06:36,194
  533. No, it's olive oil
  534. and mayonnaise.
  535.  
  536. 121
  537. 00:06:36,194 --> 00:06:38,663
  538. I know. So cheap.
  539. So much shine.
  540.  
  541. 122
  542. 00:06:41,666 --> 00:06:43,601
  543. Good morning, Mr. President.
  544.  
  545. 123
  546. 00:06:43,601 --> 00:06:45,672
  547. Good morning,
  548. Mr. President.
  549.  
  550. 124
  551. 00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:49,040
  552. Good morning, Mr. President.
  553.  
  554. 125
  555. 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,040
  556. Good morning,
  557. Mr. President.
  558.  
  559. 126
  560. 00:06:50,976 --> 00:06:52,577
  561. Oh, hey, Charlotte.
  562.  
  563. 127
  564. 00:06:52,577 --> 00:06:55,646
  565. You caught me
  566. watching my show.
  567.  
  568. 128
  569. 00:06:55,646 --> 00:06:58,584
  570. <i> Mr. President. We still
  571. recommend Option C.</i>
  572.  
  573. 129
  574. 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:01,586
  575. <i> I am not nuking a tsunami!</i>
  576.  
  577. 130
  578. 00:07:01,586 --> 00:07:03,721
  579. Oh, here it is.
  580.  
  581. 131
  582. 00:07:03,721 --> 00:07:05,223
  583. Not now...
  584.  
  585. 132
  586. 00:07:05,223 --> 00:07:06,925
  587. Not today.
  588.  
  589. 133
  590. 00:07:06,925 --> 00:07:08,560
  591. Not in my house.
  592.  
  593. 134
  594. 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,795
  595. Yes! I love that!
  596.  
  597. 135
  598. 00:07:10,795 --> 00:07:12,663
  599. Oh, me too.
  600.  
  601. 136
  602. 00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:14,733
  603. Anyway, that's not why
  604. I called you here.
  605.  
  606. 137
  607. 00:07:16,869 --> 00:07:18,670
  608. Charlotte.
  609.  
  610. 138
  611. 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:19,704
  612. Yes, sir?
  613.  
  614. 139
  615. 00:07:19,704 --> 00:07:22,708
  616. I will not be
  617. seeking reelection.
  618.  
  619. 140
  620. 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:23,009
  621. Really?
  622.  
  623. 141
  624. 00:07:24,009 --> 00:07:25,776
  625. Look, I know it's crazy,
  626.  
  627. 142
  628. 00:07:25,776 --> 00:07:27,812
  629. because I'm only halfway
  630. through my first term.
  631.  
  632. 143
  633. 00:07:27,812 --> 00:07:30,882
  634. And you're incredibly
  635. popular, sir.
  636.  
  637. 144
  638. 00:07:30,882 --> 00:07:32,985
  639. And I want to use
  640. that popularity
  641.  
  642. 145
  643. 00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:36,521
  644. to transition into something
  645.  
  646. 146
  647. 00:07:36,521 --> 00:07:38,091
  648. more prestigious
  649. than the presidency.
  650.  
  651. 147
  652. 00:07:40,091 --> 00:07:42,827
  653. I wanna make it in the movies.
  654.  
  655. 148
  656. 00:07:42,827 --> 00:07:45,997
  657. You're going to leave
  658.  
  659. 149
  660. 00:07:45,997 --> 00:07:48,733
  661. the Presidency
  662. to go be in movies?
  663.  
  664. 150
  665. 00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:50,733
  666. I know. It's gonna be tough.
  667.  
  668. 151
  669. 00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:50,968
  670. Ah...
  671.  
  672. 152
  673. 00:07:50,968 --> 00:07:53,639
  674. Only like, 10 guys
  675. have made that jump
  676.  
  677. 153
  678. 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,574
  679. from TV to film.
  680.  
  681. 154
  682. 00:07:55,574 --> 00:07:58,076
  683. Woody Harrelson,
  684. George Clooney...
  685.  
  686. 155
  687. 00:07:58,076 --> 00:07:59,778
  688. Might be... Might be just two.
  689.  
  690. 156
  691. 00:07:59,778 --> 00:08:03,148
  692. I... Mr. President, have you
  693.  
  694. 157
  695. 00:08:03,148 --> 00:08:06,019
  696. given any consideration
  697. as to whom you might endorse?
  698.  
  699. 158
  700. 00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:09,086
  701. I'm sure you're probably
  702. thinking of McNichol
  703.  
  704. 159
  705. 00:08:09,086 --> 00:08:12,690
  706. or Crowly. Strong choices.
  707.  
  708. 160
  709. 00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:16,295
  710. So strange, because I was
  711. considering a run in 2024.
  712.  
  713. 161
  714. 00:08:17,295 --> 00:08:18,565
  715. And I've been vetted.
  716.  
  717. 162
  718. 00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,300
  719. So that's all done.
  720.  
  721. 163
  722. 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:24,971
  723. And I can't stop thinking
  724. about what...
  725.  
  726. 164
  727. 00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:27,107
  728. What it would do
  729. for your legacy
  730.  
  731. 165
  732. 00:08:29,107 --> 00:08:31,044
  733. to endorse the first
  734. female president.
  735.  
  736. 166
  737. 00:08:33,044 --> 00:08:34,147
  738. I mean... Wow.
  739.  
  740. 167
  741. 00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:36,684
  742. That's a legacy.
  743.  
  744. 168
  745. 00:08:39,684 --> 00:08:40,684
  746. Charlotte?
  747.  
  748. 169
  749. 00:08:39,684 --> 00:08:40,918
  750. Hmm?
  751.  
  752. 170
  753. 00:08:40,918 --> 00:08:43,187
  754. I would like to endorse you
  755.  
  756. 171
  757. 00:08:43,187 --> 00:08:45,826
  758. to be the next president
  759. of the United States.
  760.  
  761. 172
  762. 00:08:47,826 --> 00:08:51,596
  763. I mean, if you think that's
  764. a good idea, sir, I trust you.
  765.  
  766. 173
  767. 00:08:51,596 --> 00:08:54,265
  768. I'd... I'd be honored.
  769.  
  770. 174
  771. 00:08:54,265 --> 00:08:58,202
  772. I'm gonna be pulling
  773. for Team Charlotte. Right?
  774.  
  775. 175
  776. 00:08:58,202 --> 00:09:00,839
  777. Because you've been
  778. a great secretary.
  779.  
  780. 176
  781. 00:09:00,839 --> 00:09:02,039
  782. ...of state.
  783.  
  784. 177
  785. 00:09:02,039 --> 00:09:04,342
  786. Whatever. It's a cool job.
  787.  
  788. 178
  789. 00:09:04,342 --> 00:09:06,711
  790. And, um, you've done it well.
  791.  
  792. 179
  793. 00:09:06,711 --> 00:09:09,711
  794. Thank you, sir.
  795.  
  796. 180
  797. 00:09:06,711 --> 00:09:09,214
  798. So stay focused.
  799.  
  800. 181
  801. 00:09:09,214 --> 00:09:10,749
  802. Don't make
  803. any major screw-ups.
  804.  
  805. 182
  806. 00:09:10,749 --> 00:09:11,017
  807. Don't kill any hookers.
  808.  
  809. 183
  810. 00:09:12,017 --> 00:09:13,317
  811. Probably not a problem for you.
  812.  
  813. 184
  814. 00:09:13,317 --> 00:09:14,919
  815. I don't know what you're into.
  816. Whatever.
  817.  
  818. 185
  819. 00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:16,788
  820. And before you know it...
  821.  
  822. 186
  823. 00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:20,958
  824. I like the sound of that.
  825.  
  826. 187
  827. 00:09:20,958 --> 00:09:23,160
  828. <i>♪ Hey, here she comes</i>
  829.  
  830. 188
  831. 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,096
  832. <i>♪ It's the first lady president</i>
  833.  
  834. 189
  835. 00:09:25,096 --> 00:09:27,832
  836. <i>♪ Who can believe
  837. that she's actually a woman</i>
  838.  
  839. 190
  840. 00:09:27,832 --> 00:09:29,368
  841. Thank you, sir.
  842.  
  843. 191
  844. 00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:34,807
  845. <i> ♪ She's got a big brain
  846. And a couple other assets ♪</i>
  847.  
  848. 192
  849. 00:09:36,807 --> 00:09:37,875
  850. Oh, and here we see
  851.  
  852. 193
  853. 00:09:37,875 --> 00:09:39,678
  854. Secretary of State
  855. Charlotte Field.
  856.  
  857. 194
  858. 00:09:39,678 --> 00:09:40,912
  859. Good morning.
  860.  
  861. 195
  862. 00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,653
  863. Yes!
  864.  
  865. 196
  866. 00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:50,355
  867. So the headline is,
  868. "You're in great shape."
  869.  
  870. 197
  871. 00:09:50,355 --> 00:09:52,355
  872. Ninety-two,
  873. that's good.
  874.  
  875. 198
  876. 00:09:50,355 --> 00:09:52,024
  877. Really good.
  878.  
  879. 199
  880. 00:09:53,024 --> 00:09:54,024
  881. Yeah.
  882.  
  883. 200
  884. 00:09:53,024 --> 00:09:54,726
  885. And now,
  886. keep in mind
  887.  
  888. 201
  889. 00:09:54,726 --> 00:09:57,261
  890. that these are numbers
  891. for a female candidate.
  892.  
  893. 202
  894. 00:09:57,261 --> 00:10:00,666
  895. If you were a man, you'd be
  896. in the 192nd percentile.
  897.  
  898. 203
  899. 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,666
  900. Well, that seems about right.
  901.  
  902. 204
  903. 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,833
  904. Yeah.
  905.  
  906. 205
  907. 00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:04,936
  908. 'Cause the man... Okay.
  909.  
  910. 206
  911. 00:10:04,936 --> 00:10:07,972
  912. Um, your sense of humor is 82,
  913.  
  914. 207
  915. 00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:10,241
  916. which is solid. It's solid.
  917.  
  918. 208
  919. 00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:12,344
  920. But, you know, we wouldn't
  921. mind seeing those numbers
  922.  
  923. 209
  924. 00:10:12,344 --> 00:10:14,712
  925. go up a few points, or more.
  926.  
  927. 210
  928. 00:10:14,712 --> 00:10:16,914
  929. So, I'm going to get
  930. some writing samples from
  931.  
  932. 211
  933. 00:10:16,914 --> 00:10:18,914
  934. some funny speech writers.
  935.  
  936. 212
  937. 00:10:16,914 --> 00:10:18,450
  938. Great.
  939.  
  940. 213
  941. 00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:21,787
  942. I am really interested
  943. in knowing how people feel
  944.  
  945. 214
  946. 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,787
  947. about my accomplishments.
  948.  
  949. 215
  950. 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,721
  951. Yeah.
  952.  
  953. 216
  954. 00:10:23,721 --> 00:10:25,356
  955. Right. You know, so we don't
  956.  
  957. 217
  958. 00:10:25,356 --> 00:10:29,360
  959. drill down
  960. on specific policies.
  961.  
  962. 218
  963. 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:32,464
  964. And that's only because
  965. people don't seem to care.
  966.  
  967. 219
  968. 00:10:32,464 --> 00:10:33,865
  969. That's interesting.
  970.  
  971. 220
  972. 00:10:33,865 --> 00:10:37,235
  973. With that said, if you could
  974. broker some deal
  975.  
  976. 221
  977. 00:10:37,235 --> 00:10:38,769
  978. that gets you
  979. out there talking
  980.  
  981. 222
  982. 00:10:38,769 --> 00:10:40,138
  983. about a thing that you feel
  984.  
  985. 223
  986. 00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:42,274
  987. really strongly about,
  988. that would be great.
  989.  
  990. 224
  991. 00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:43,208
  992. Well, that's perfect.
  993.  
  994. 225
  995. 00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:45,309
  996. I mean, we've been
  997. looking for an opening
  998.  
  999. 226
  1000. 00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:47,046
  1001. to start a conversation
  1002. about the environment.
  1003.  
  1004. 227
  1005. 00:10:48,046 --> 00:10:50,716
  1006. All right.
  1007.  
  1008. 228
  1009. 00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:53,485
  1010. Romantically, if I may...
  1011.  
  1012. 229
  1013. 00:10:53,485 --> 00:10:56,488
  1014. Remember the stir online
  1015.  
  1016. 230
  1017. 00:10:56,488 --> 00:10:59,091
  1018. when the Canadian
  1019. Prime Minister and you
  1020.  
  1021. 231
  1022. 00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:00,991
  1023. were seated next to each other
  1024.  
  1025. 232
  1026. 00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:02,494
  1027. at The Global Business Forum?
  1028.  
  1029. 233
  1030. 00:11:02,494 --> 00:11:03,894
  1031. Mmm-hmm.
  1032.  
  1033. 234
  1034. 00:11:03,894 --> 00:11:05,030
  1035. A relationship like that
  1036.  
  1037. 235
  1038. 00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:08,234
  1039. would push you
  1040. into the high 90s.
  1041.  
  1042. 236
  1043. 00:11:09,234 --> 00:11:11,870
  1044. High 90s? Wow.
  1045.  
  1046. 237
  1047. 00:11:11,870 --> 00:11:13,942
  1048. That brings us to...
  1049.  
  1050. 238
  1051. 00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:18,876
  1052. What's wrong
  1053. with my wave?
  1054.  
  1055. 239
  1056. 00:11:18,876 --> 00:11:20,879
  1057. Um, I think people feel that
  1058.  
  1059. 240
  1060. 00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:23,914
  1061. that level of elbow movement
  1062. is, um...
  1063.  
  1064. 241
  1065. 00:11:23,914 --> 00:11:25,417
  1066. It stresses people out.
  1067.  
  1068. 242
  1069. 00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:28,419
  1070. You know what? It's just
  1071. an area for improvement.
  1072.  
  1073. 243
  1074. 00:11:28,419 --> 00:11:30,187
  1075. Okay, fine,
  1076. I'll work on the wave.
  1077.  
  1078. 244
  1079. 00:11:34,426 --> 00:11:36,426
  1080. Hey.
  1081.  
  1082. 245
  1083. 00:11:34,426 --> 00:11:36,061
  1084. Hey, Fred.
  1085.  
  1086. 246
  1087. 00:11:36,061 --> 00:11:38,197
  1088. You're gonna love this.
  1089. I almost died.
  1090.  
  1091. 247
  1092. 00:11:39,197 --> 00:11:40,798
  1093. You got a second?
  1094.  
  1095. 248
  1096. 00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:43,798
  1097. Yeah.
  1098.  
  1099. 249
  1100. 00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:43,467
  1101. Come on.
  1102.  
  1103. 250
  1104. 00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:45,971
  1105. I actually have
  1106. some really great news.
  1107.  
  1108. 251
  1109. 00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:48,971
  1110. Really? Cool.
  1111.  
  1112. 252
  1113. 00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:48,139
  1114. Yes.
  1115.  
  1116. 253
  1117. 00:11:48,139 --> 00:11:50,475
  1118. We were just bought
  1119. by Wembley Media.
  1120.  
  1121. 254
  1122. 00:11:50,475 --> 00:11:52,475
  1123. What?
  1124.  
  1125. 255
  1126. 00:11:50,475 --> 00:11:52,443
  1127. Yeah.
  1128.  
  1129. 256
  1130. 00:11:52,443 --> 00:11:53,345
  1131. Are you fucking kidding me?
  1132.  
  1133. 257
  1134. 00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:54,812
  1135. I knew you'd have
  1136. a harsh reaction...
  1137.  
  1138. 258
  1139. 00:11:54,812 --> 00:11:55,980
  1140. A harsh reaction?
  1141.  
  1142. 259
  1143. 00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:57,980
  1144. Fred, this is a good thing.
  1145.  
  1146. 260
  1147. 00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:57,414
  1148. How?
  1149.  
  1150. 261
  1151. 00:11:57,414 --> 00:11:58,017
  1152. The fucker
  1153. represents everything
  1154.  
  1155. 262
  1156. 00:11:59,017 --> 00:12:00,485
  1157. that we've been fighting
  1158. against since day one!
  1159.  
  1160. 263
  1161. 00:12:00,485 --> 00:12:03,388
  1162. The whole point of this paper
  1163. is to fight
  1164. giant media conglomerates.
  1165.  
  1166. 264
  1167. 00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:05,190
  1168. Now we've been bought
  1169. by a giant media conglomerate.
  1170.  
  1171. 265
  1172. 00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:07,190
  1173. I do see the irony.
  1174.  
  1175. 266
  1176. 00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:07,458
  1177. Irony?
  1178.  
  1179. 267
  1180. 00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:10,128
  1181. He's gonna turn this place
  1182. into a propaganda machine.
  1183.  
  1184. 268
  1185. 00:12:10,128 --> 00:12:11,996
  1186. Not the good kind,
  1187. that's right!
  1188.  
  1189. 269
  1190. 00:12:11,996 --> 00:12:13,798
  1191. The bad kind, that's wrong!
  1192.  
  1193. 270
  1194. 00:12:13,798 --> 00:12:15,167
  1195. Well, we're out of options.
  1196.  
  1197. 271
  1198. 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:16,902
  1199. We've been running
  1200. as long as we can
  1201.  
  1202. 272
  1203. 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,303
  1204. on ads for weed doctors
  1205. and escorts.
  1206.  
  1207. 273
  1208. 00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:21,405
  1209. Let's get penis enlargement
  1210. ads, too.
  1211.  
  1212. 274
  1213. 00:12:21,405 --> 00:12:22,874
  1214. No one likes their dick.
  1215.  
  1216. 275
  1217. 00:12:22,874 --> 00:12:24,874
  1218. Come on, Fred.
  1219.  
  1220. 276
  1221. 00:12:22,874 --> 00:12:24,842
  1222. This Wembley guy,
  1223.  
  1224. 277
  1225. 00:12:24,842 --> 00:12:27,379
  1226. he ran fake stories
  1227. to help get Chambers elected.
  1228.  
  1229. 278
  1230. 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,346
  1231. No, they couldn't prove that.
  1232.  
  1233. 279
  1234. 00:12:28,346 --> 00:12:30,548
  1235. We proved it! I wrote
  1236. three articles about it!
  1237.  
  1238. 280
  1239. 00:12:30,548 --> 00:12:32,548
  1240. You published them!
  1241.  
  1242. 281
  1243. 00:12:30,548 --> 00:12:32,450
  1244. I did.
  1245.  
  1246. 282
  1247. 00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:35,153
  1248. The shit that comes out
  1249. of this fucking guy's mouth...
  1250.  
  1251. 283
  1252. 00:12:35,153 --> 00:12:37,855
  1253. He said hurricanes were
  1254. caused by gay marriage.
  1255.  
  1256. 284
  1257. 00:12:37,855 --> 00:12:39,456
  1258. I don't even get
  1259. how that fucking works.
  1260.  
  1261. 285
  1262. 00:12:39,456 --> 00:12:41,058
  1263. I don't even get
  1264. the math on that one.
  1265.  
  1266. 286
  1267. 00:12:41,058 --> 00:12:43,058
  1268. Fred, it's done, all right?
  1269.  
  1270. 287
  1271. 00:12:41,058 --> 00:12:43,128
  1272. It's done?
  1273.  
  1274. 288
  1275. 00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:46,597
  1276. They're upstairs finalizing
  1277. the deal right now.
  1278.  
  1279. 289
  1280. 00:12:46,597 --> 00:12:49,366
  1281. Look, we have to cut
  1282. two-thirds of our staff.
  1283.  
  1284. 290
  1285. 00:12:49,366 --> 00:12:51,366
  1286. Two-thirds?
  1287.  
  1288. 291
  1289. 00:12:49,366 --> 00:12:51,403
  1290. Yeah.
  1291.  
  1292. 292
  1293. 00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:53,839
  1294. But we wanna keep you on.
  1295. They wanna keep you on.
  1296.  
  1297. 293
  1298. 00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:55,240
  1299. It's just...
  1300.  
  1301. 294
  1302. 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,142
  1303. You just have to
  1304. tone it down a little bit.
  1305.  
  1306. 295
  1307. 00:12:57,142 --> 00:12:58,610
  1308. I don't know how I can
  1309. tone things down
  1310.  
  1311. 296
  1312. 00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,278
  1313. any more than
  1314. I'm toning them down.
  1315.  
  1316. 297
  1317. 00:13:00,278 --> 00:13:02,279
  1318. Okay, Fred.
  1319. You're a great writer.
  1320.  
  1321. 298
  1322. 00:13:02,279 --> 00:13:03,279
  1323. Thank you.
  1324.  
  1325. 299
  1326. 00:13:02,279 --> 00:13:03,447
  1327. All right, you're funny,
  1328.  
  1329. 300
  1330. 00:13:03,447 --> 00:13:05,149
  1331. you take risks,
  1332. you connect with people.
  1333.  
  1334. 301
  1335. 00:13:05,149 --> 00:13:06,418
  1336. I'm sensing a twist in this.
  1337.  
  1338. 302
  1339. 00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:08,553
  1340. You have a distinct,
  1341. authentic voice, but...
  1342.  
  1343. 303
  1344. 00:13:09,553 --> 00:13:11,423
  1345. Sometimes you're
  1346. a little too much.
  1347.  
  1348. 304
  1349. 00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:12,457
  1350. I don't think I am too much!
  1351.  
  1352. 305
  1353. 00:13:12,457 --> 00:13:14,960
  1354. I actually think I'm
  1355. the perfect right portion.
  1356.  
  1357. 306
  1358. 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,461
  1359. Look, you have your job.
  1360.  
  1361. 307
  1362. 00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:19,297
  1363. Okay, focus on that and just
  1364. toe the line a little bit.
  1365.  
  1366. 308
  1367. 00:13:19,297 --> 00:13:20,899
  1368. You know what? I quit.
  1369.  
  1370. 309
  1371. 00:13:20,899 --> 00:13:22,033
  1372. Oh, come on, Fred.
  1373.  
  1374. 310
  1375. 00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:24,034
  1376. You should quit, too.
  1377. Everyone should fucking quit.
  1378.  
  1379. 311
  1380. 00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:25,971
  1381. No, I'm not gonna quit,
  1382. I need my job.
  1383.  
  1384. 312
  1385. 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,072
  1386. I need my fucking job, too.
  1387. I'm broke, man!
  1388.  
  1389. 313
  1390. 00:13:28,072 --> 00:13:29,474
  1391. But I can't work for that guy.
  1392.  
  1393. 314
  1394. 00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:31,876
  1395. At least let me fire you
  1396. so you can get unemployment.
  1397.  
  1398. 315
  1399. 00:13:31,876 --> 00:13:33,945
  1400. No fucking way!
  1401.  
  1402. 316
  1403. 00:13:33,945 --> 00:13:36,081
  1404. I want him to know
  1405. that I quit.
  1406.  
  1407. 317
  1408. 00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:38,416
  1409. He's never gonna know it,
  1410. he's never heard of you.
  1411.  
  1412. 318
  1413. 00:13:38,416 --> 00:13:40,985
  1414. You're gonna destroy your life
  1415. to spite a guy
  1416. who's never heard of you?
  1417.  
  1418. 319
  1419. 00:13:40,985 --> 00:13:42,553
  1420. Yes! You said it best!
  1421.  
  1422. 320
  1423. 00:13:42,553 --> 00:13:43,721
  1424. That's exactly
  1425. what I'm doing.
  1426.  
  1427. 321
  1428. 00:13:43,721 --> 00:13:46,524
  1429. You're making bad decisions
  1430. and it's bumming me out, man.
  1431.  
  1432. 322
  1433. 00:13:46,524 --> 00:13:47,993
  1434. Well, that makes
  1435. two of us.
  1436.  
  1437. 323
  1438. 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:51,562
  1439. Fuck this.
  1440. Journalism died today, people.
  1441.  
  1442. 324
  1443. 00:13:51,562 --> 00:13:54,532
  1444. Yes, hello, this is, uh,
  1445. Fred Flarsky.
  1446.  
  1447. 325
  1448. 00:13:54,532 --> 00:13:56,467
  1449. Um... I, uh,
  1450.  
  1451. 326
  1452. 00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:58,035
  1453. was just calling to say
  1454. that I was forced
  1455.  
  1456. 327
  1457. 00:13:58,035 --> 00:13:59,303
  1458. <i> to quit my job recently,</i>
  1459.  
  1460. 328
  1461. 00:13:59,303 --> 00:14:00,005
  1462. <i> making me
  1463. something of a free agent.</i>
  1464.  
  1465. 329
  1466. 00:14:01,005 --> 00:14:02,573
  1467. <i> And I know in the past, uh,</i>
  1468.  
  1469. 330
  1470. 00:14:02,573 --> 00:14:05,277
  1471. <i>you said I'm not exactly what</i>
  1472. The Times<i> was looking for,</i>
  1473.  
  1474. 331
  1475. 00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,946
  1476. <i>but I was just calling
  1477. to see if anything's changed.</i>
  1478.  
  1479. 332
  1480. 00:14:07,946 --> 00:14:10,081
  1481. <i> Uh, just give me a ring.
  1482. Thank you so much.</i>
  1483.  
  1484. 333
  1485. 00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:12,019
  1486. Yo, Lance. It's Fred. Um...
  1487.  
  1488. 334
  1489. 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,320
  1490. I lost my job
  1491. and I'm very sad.
  1492.  
  1493. 335
  1494. 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,922
  1495. Can I come by?
  1496.  
  1497. 336
  1498. 00:14:22,259 --> 00:14:23,528
  1499. We need to
  1500. schedule a meeting
  1501.  
  1502. 337
  1503. 00:14:23,528 --> 00:14:25,529
  1504. and see what they have to say.
  1505.  
  1506. 338
  1507. 00:14:25,529 --> 00:14:27,232
  1508. Excuse me.
  1509.  
  1510. 339
  1511. 00:14:28,232 --> 00:14:31,035
  1512. Man, I can't believe
  1513. they did you like that.
  1514.  
  1515. 340
  1516. 00:14:31,035 --> 00:14:32,671
  1517. It's fucked up. I'm pissed.
  1518.  
  1519. 341
  1520. 00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,605
  1521. But you're gonna feel a lot
  1522. better, man, we're leaving.
  1523.  
  1524. 342
  1525. 00:14:34,605 --> 00:14:36,307
  1526. You can leave work right now?
  1527.  
  1528. 343
  1529. 00:14:36,307 --> 00:14:38,375
  1530. Yeah, I can fucking leave.
  1531. You see this corner office?
  1532.  
  1533. 344
  1534. 00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:39,644
  1535. That's a
  1536. "I can leave this bitch
  1537.  
  1538. 345
  1539. 00:14:39,644 --> 00:14:41,613
  1540. "whenever I want"
  1541. corner office.
  1542.  
  1543. 346
  1544. 00:14:41,613 --> 00:14:43,316
  1545. Come on, man. Everybody!
  1546.  
  1547. 347
  1548. 00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:46,051
  1549. This is my best friend,
  1550.  
  1551. 348
  1552. 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:47,585
  1553. and he just
  1554. lost his job today.
  1555.  
  1556. 349
  1557. 00:14:47,585 --> 00:14:49,453
  1558. All right?
  1559. He's at rock bottom.
  1560.  
  1561. 350
  1562. 00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,453
  1563. It's not that bad.
  1564.  
  1565. 351
  1566. 00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,655
  1567. He feels like shit.
  1568.  
  1569. 352
  1570. 00:14:51,655 --> 00:14:53,325
  1571. And I'm gonna
  1572. make him feel better.
  1573.  
  1574. 353
  1575. 00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:54,025
  1576. It's been a tradition
  1577. since we were in college,
  1578.  
  1579. 354
  1580. 00:14:55,025 --> 00:14:56,394
  1581. when one of us feels sad,
  1582.  
  1583. 355
  1584. 00:14:56,394 --> 00:14:58,129
  1585. the other one
  1586. has to get him fucked up.
  1587.  
  1588. 356
  1589. 00:14:58,129 --> 00:15:02,299
  1590. I'm talking Britney Spears,
  1591. mid-2000s bald head,
  1592.  
  1593. 357
  1594. 00:15:02,299 --> 00:15:04,568
  1595. almost dropping the baby
  1596. fucked up.
  1597.  
  1598. 358
  1599. 00:15:04,568 --> 00:15:06,671
  1600. No judgement. No judgement.
  1601.  
  1602. 359
  1603. 00:15:06,671 --> 00:15:09,039
  1604. I need my schedule cleared,
  1605. Zander.
  1606.  
  1607. 360
  1608. 00:15:09,039 --> 00:15:10,140
  1609. I don't want to do shit.
  1610.  
  1611. 361
  1612. 00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:12,376
  1613. I'm going off-grid
  1614. till tomorrow.
  1615.  
  1616. 362
  1617. 00:15:12,376 --> 00:15:13,546
  1618. Matter of fact...
  1619.  
  1620. 363
  1621. 00:15:14,546 --> 00:15:16,546
  1622. Everybody's got the day off.
  1623.  
  1624. 364
  1625. 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,984
  1626. Everybody's got the day off.
  1627. Y'all got the day off.
  1628.  
  1629. 365
  1630. 00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:20,085
  1631. Everybody, go home.
  1632.  
  1633. 366
  1634. 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,754
  1635. I'm so appreciative
  1636. of all of you guys' hard work.
  1637.  
  1638. 367
  1639. 00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:24,489
  1640. I love
  1641. every single one of you.
  1642.  
  1643. 368
  1644. 00:15:24,489 --> 00:15:25,557
  1645. Except you, Ted!
  1646.  
  1647. 369
  1648. 00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:28,659
  1649. Bagel Friday
  1650. is for everybody, Ted!
  1651.  
  1652. 370
  1653. 00:15:28,659 --> 00:15:30,761
  1654. You don't think we know
  1655. you taking the bagels?
  1656.  
  1657. 371
  1658. 00:15:30,761 --> 00:15:32,130
  1659. Yeah, Ted, not cool.
  1660.  
  1661. 372
  1662. 00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:33,130
  1663. Zander.
  1664.  
  1665. 373
  1666. 00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:33,065
  1667. Yeah?
  1668.  
  1669. 374
  1670. 00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,299
  1671. I need two cans
  1672. of the Pamplemousse LaCroix.
  1673.  
  1674. 375
  1675. 00:15:35,299 --> 00:15:36,299
  1676. Uh-huh.
  1677.  
  1678. 376
  1679. 00:15:35,299 --> 00:15:36,533
  1680. I need that filled
  1681.  
  1682. 377
  1683. 00:15:36,533 --> 00:15:39,070
  1684. with Johnnie Walker Blue
  1685. and CBD oil.
  1686.  
  1687. 378
  1688. 00:15:39,070 --> 00:15:40,605
  1689. Do you want one?
  1690.  
  1691. 379
  1692. 00:15:41,605 --> 00:15:43,274
  1693. I got fucked, man.
  1694.  
  1695. 380
  1696. 00:15:43,274 --> 00:15:45,010
  1697. Yeah, you got fucked
  1698. like a stepmom on Pornhub.
  1699.  
  1700. 381
  1701. 00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:47,178
  1702. Well, it happens to everybody.
  1703.  
  1704. 382
  1705. 00:15:47,178 --> 00:15:49,114
  1706. I've been unemployed before,
  1707. it sucks.
  1708.  
  1709. 383
  1710. 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,381
  1711. But I didn't ask
  1712. for any handouts.
  1713.  
  1714. 384
  1715. 00:15:50,381 --> 00:15:53,183
  1716. I picked myself up by
  1717. my bootstraps and got to it.
  1718.  
  1719. 385
  1720. 00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:54,619
  1721. Where are we going right now?
  1722.  
  1723. 386
  1724. 00:15:54,619 --> 00:15:56,421
  1725. Best day ever, Fred.
  1726. Don't worry about it.
  1727.  
  1728. 387
  1729. 00:15:56,421 --> 00:15:58,590
  1730. I've got this dope afternoon
  1731. planned for us.
  1732.  
  1733. 388
  1734. 00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:00,392
  1735. First we're going to finish
  1736. these Pamplemousse's.
  1737.  
  1738. 389
  1739. 00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:01,360
  1740. Play at the park.
  1741.  
  1742. 390
  1743. 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,394
  1744. After that we're going to
  1745. go to Peter Luger's,
  1746.  
  1747. 391
  1748. 00:16:03,394 --> 00:16:04,562
  1749. get you a nice fat steak,
  1750.  
  1751. 392
  1752. 00:16:04,562 --> 00:16:07,264
  1753. and then finish it off with
  1754. a World Wildlife Fund benefit.
  1755.  
  1756. 393
  1757. 00:16:07,264 --> 00:16:08,633
  1758. I don't know
  1759. if I want to
  1760. go to some
  1761.  
  1762. 394
  1763. 00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:10,201
  1764. fancy rich person party.
  1765.  
  1766. 395
  1767. 00:16:10,201 --> 00:16:11,535
  1768. What... Oh, come on, man,
  1769.  
  1770. 396
  1771. 00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,138
  1772. don't be so judgmental,
  1773. all right?
  1774.  
  1775. 397
  1776. 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,539
  1777. It's free booze and
  1778. there'll be pandas and shit.
  1779.  
  1780. 398
  1781. 00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:18,539
  1782. People love pandas and shit.
  1783.  
  1784. 399
  1785. 00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:18,076
  1786. I don't know.
  1787.  
  1788. 400
  1789. 00:16:18,076 --> 00:16:19,309
  1790. All right, fine, Fred.
  1791.  
  1792. 401
  1793. 00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:20,711
  1794. Then just do nothing.
  1795. All right?
  1796.  
  1797. 402
  1798. 00:16:20,711 --> 00:16:22,647
  1799. Go home, do nothing.
  1800.  
  1801. 403
  1802. 00:16:22,647 --> 00:16:25,351
  1803. And don't kick it with your
  1804. best friend and Boyz II Men.
  1805.  
  1806. 404
  1807. 00:16:26,351 --> 00:16:27,585
  1808. Say what?
  1809.  
  1810. 405
  1811. 00:16:27,585 --> 00:16:29,320
  1812. Oh, yeah.
  1813.  
  1814. 406
  1815. 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,788
  1816. Boyz II Men is bringing
  1817. their timeless blend
  1818.  
  1819. 407
  1820. 00:16:30,788 --> 00:16:34,058
  1821. of R&B, hip-hop and
  1822. new jack swing to the party.
  1823.  
  1824. 408
  1825. 00:16:34,058 --> 00:16:36,061
  1826. I thought you would
  1827. like to be there.
  1828.  
  1829. 409
  1830. 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:37,761
  1831. Bo-bo-bo-Boyz II Men?
  1832.  
  1833. 410
  1834. 00:16:37,761 --> 00:16:40,831
  1835. <i>♪ Motownphilly's back again ♪</i>
  1836.  
  1837. 411
  1838. 00:16:41,932 --> 00:16:42,833
  1839. That's what I'm talking about,
  1840. man. Let's do this shit.
  1841.  
  1842. 412
  1843. 00:16:42,833 --> 00:16:44,803
  1844. Okay, let's have fun.
  1845. What a fun day.
  1846.  
  1847. 413
  1848. 00:16:46,770 --> 00:16:50,408
  1849. I am so hungry,
  1850. it's insane.
  1851.  
  1852. 414
  1853. 00:16:50,408 --> 00:16:51,643
  1854. Why didn't you
  1855. PowerBar me?
  1856.  
  1857. 415
  1858. 00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:53,144
  1859. I tried,
  1860. you pushed my hand away.
  1861.  
  1862. 416
  1863. 00:16:53,144 --> 00:16:54,312
  1864. Oh.
  1865.  
  1866. 417
  1867. 00:16:54,312 --> 00:16:57,315
  1868. Skewered foods. I can't eat
  1869. skewered foods gracefully.
  1870.  
  1871. 418
  1872. 00:16:57,315 --> 00:16:58,716
  1873. I look like
  1874. a fucking caveman.
  1875.  
  1876. 419
  1877. 00:16:58,716 --> 00:17:00,485
  1878. Yeah, and there are
  1879. cameras everywhere.
  1880.  
  1881. 420
  1882. 00:17:00,485 --> 00:17:02,320
  1883. That's really gonna hurt
  1884. your elegance score.
  1885.  
  1886. 421
  1887. 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,791
  1888. That's my best score.
  1889.  
  1890. 422
  1891. 00:17:07,791 --> 00:17:09,727
  1892. Fuck! It's all
  1893. skewered foods.
  1894.  
  1895. 423
  1896. 00:17:09,727 --> 00:17:11,395
  1897. I'm gonna take the chicken
  1898. off the skewers.
  1899.  
  1900. 424
  1901. 00:17:11,395 --> 00:17:13,395
  1902. Take it off...
  1903.  
  1904. 425
  1905. 00:17:11,395 --> 00:17:13,330
  1906. Quickly. Quickly.
  1907.  
  1908. 426
  1909. 00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:15,299
  1910. Why do they make this
  1911. so difficult...
  1912.  
  1913. 427
  1914. 00:17:15,299 --> 00:17:17,634
  1915. Oh. I'm sorry, sir.
  1916. I apologize.
  1917.  
  1918. 428
  1919. 00:17:17,634 --> 00:17:20,634
  1920. Jesus fucking Christ.
  1921.  
  1922. 429
  1923. 00:17:17,634 --> 00:17:20,204
  1924. Can't do things...
  1925.  
  1926. 430
  1927. 00:17:20,204 --> 00:17:22,173
  1928. Just make a fucking...
  1929. Make a wall. Make a wall.
  1930.  
  1931. 431
  1932. 00:17:22,173 --> 00:17:24,173
  1933. Yup. Yes.
  1934.  
  1935. 432
  1936. 00:17:22,173 --> 00:17:24,211
  1937. Do you have it?
  1938.  
  1939. 433
  1940. 00:17:27,211 --> 00:17:28,813
  1941. Good. Good, good,
  1942. good, good.
  1943.  
  1944. 434
  1945. 00:17:28,813 --> 00:17:30,250
  1946. Oh, my God,
  1947. it's really good chicken.
  1948.  
  1949. 435
  1950. 00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:33,817
  1951. James Steward is approaching.
  1952. James Steward is approaching.
  1953.  
  1954. 436
  1955. 00:17:33,817 --> 00:17:34,885
  1956. What?
  1957.  
  1958. 437
  1959. 00:17:34,885 --> 00:17:36,654
  1960. Okay, he's about
  1961. nine feet away.
  1962.  
  1963. 438
  1964. 00:17:36,654 --> 00:17:38,690
  1965. His dick is probably
  1966. about seven feet away.
  1967.  
  1968. 439
  1969. 00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:40,690
  1970. Maggie!
  1971.  
  1972. 440
  1973. 00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:40,458
  1974. Six feet away.
  1975.  
  1976. 441
  1977. 00:17:40,458 --> 00:17:42,694
  1978. Five feet away.
  1979. Spit, spit, spit, spit, spit.
  1980.  
  1981. 442
  1982. 00:17:43,694 --> 00:17:45,694
  1983. James!
  1984.  
  1985. 443
  1986. 00:17:43,694 --> 00:17:45,730
  1987. <i> Bonsoir.</i>
  1988.  
  1989. 444
  1990. 00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:47,730
  1991. Hi.
  1992.  
  1993. 445
  1994. 00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:47,565
  1995. Good evening.
  1996.  
  1997. 446
  1998. 00:17:47,565 --> 00:17:49,233
  1999. I am so sorry I missed you
  2000.  
  2001. 447
  2002. 00:17:49,233 --> 00:17:50,902
  2003. when I was at the White House
  2004. a few weeks ago.
  2005.  
  2006. 448
  2007. 00:17:50,902 --> 00:17:53,837
  2008. Oh, are you so "sorry," James?
  2009.  
  2010. 449
  2011. 00:17:53,837 --> 00:17:55,373
  2012. You're never gonna
  2013.  
  2014. 450
  2015. 00:17:55,373 --> 00:17:56,708
  2016. stop making that joke,
  2017. are you?
  2018.  
  2019. 451
  2020. 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,708
  2021. No. I'm not.
  2022.  
  2023. 452
  2024. 00:17:58,843 --> 00:18:00,310
  2025. Well, I... Oh, hello.
  2026.  
  2027. 453
  2028. 00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:01,310
  2029. Hi.
  2030.  
  2031. 454
  2032. 00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:01,613
  2033. Oh, yes.
  2034.  
  2035. 455
  2036. 00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:03,613
  2037. Thank you.
  2038.  
  2039. 456
  2040. 00:18:04,781 --> 00:18:06,781
  2041. One more. One more.
  2042.  
  2043. 457
  2044. 00:18:04,781 --> 00:18:06,919
  2045. One more.
  2046.  
  2047. 458
  2048. 00:18:07,919 --> 00:18:10,288
  2049. <i> Merci.</i> Thank you.
  2050.  
  2051. 459
  2052. 00:18:10,288 --> 00:18:11,824
  2053. What do you say
  2054. we get out of here?
  2055.  
  2056. 460
  2057. 00:18:12,824 --> 00:18:15,593
  2058. Grab a drink somewhere
  2059. a bit more private.
  2060.  
  2061. 461
  2062. 00:18:17,729 --> 00:18:18,729
  2063. Yes...
  2064.  
  2065. 462
  2066. 00:18:17,729 --> 00:18:18,930
  2067. Yeah?
  2068.  
  2069. 463
  2070. 00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:21,199
  2071. Oh, my God!
  2072.  
  2073. 464
  2074. 00:18:21,199 --> 00:18:22,933
  2075. <i>Make some noise out there!
  2076. Make some noise!</i>
  2077.  
  2078. 465
  2079. 00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:25,236
  2080. <i>Yeah! Check it out, y'all!</i>
  2081.  
  2082. 466
  2083. 00:18:25,236 --> 00:18:27,372
  2084. <i> One question,
  2085. what's the name of the group?</i>
  2086.  
  2087. 467
  2088. 00:18:27,372 --> 00:18:28,640
  2089. Boyz II Men!
  2090.  
  2091. 468
  2092. 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,507
  2093. <i> What's the name
  2094. of the group, y'all?</i>
  2095.  
  2096. 469
  2097. 00:18:29,507 --> 00:18:30,842
  2098. Boyz II Men!
  2099.  
  2100. 470
  2101. 00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:53,798
  2102. Yeah...
  2103.  
  2104. 471
  2105. 00:18:53,798 --> 00:18:54,833
  2106. I told you this
  2107. would be dope.
  2108.  
  2109. 472
  2110. 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,902
  2111. Yeah, uh...
  2112. This is really
  2113. cheering me up.
  2114.  
  2115. 473
  2116. 00:18:57,902 --> 00:18:59,336
  2117. Wow.
  2118.  
  2119. 474
  2120. 00:19:08,946 --> 00:19:10,381
  2121. I'm super underdressed.
  2122.  
  2123. 475
  2124. 00:19:10,381 --> 00:19:11,682
  2125. Stop complaining,
  2126. all right?
  2127.  
  2128. 476
  2129. 00:19:11,682 --> 00:19:13,617
  2130. You think
  2131. you feel outta place?
  2132.  
  2133. 477
  2134. 00:19:13,617 --> 00:19:14,786
  2135. This is one of
  2136. the brightest rooms
  2137.  
  2138. 478
  2139. 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:16,820
  2140. I've ever been in,
  2141. in my life.
  2142.  
  2143. 479
  2144. 00:19:16,820 --> 00:19:18,223
  2145. Bright?
  2146. What do you mean, bright?
  2147.  
  2148. 480
  2149. 00:19:19,223 --> 00:19:20,458
  2150. Like white.
  2151.  
  2152. 481
  2153. 00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,458
  2154. Oh, "bright" is white?
  2155.  
  2156. 482
  2157. 00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:22,527
  2158. Yeah, man.
  2159.  
  2160. 483
  2161. 00:19:22,527 --> 00:19:24,596
  2162. It's only me,
  2163. the waiters
  2164. and Boyz II Men.
  2165.  
  2166. 484
  2167. 00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:26,463
  2168. I've already had three people
  2169. tell me they love my music.
  2170.  
  2171. 485
  2172. 00:19:32,403 --> 00:19:33,637
  2173. Duty calls.
  2174.  
  2175. 486
  2176. 00:19:33,637 --> 00:19:35,007
  2177. I'll take a snow check
  2178. on that dance.
  2179.  
  2180. 487
  2181. 00:19:36,007 --> 00:19:38,007
  2182. Canadian for "rain check."
  2183.  
  2184. 488
  2185. 00:19:36,007 --> 00:19:38,609
  2186. Okay.
  2187.  
  2188. 489
  2189. 00:19:38,609 --> 00:19:40,380
  2190. Okay.
  2191.  
  2192. 490
  2193. 00:19:47,618 --> 00:19:49,753
  2194. Man, you're pounding 'em
  2195. kinda hard, don't you think?
  2196.  
  2197. 491
  2198. 00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:51,823
  2199. I got fired today, man.
  2200.  
  2201. 492
  2202. 00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:53,592
  2203. You told me you quit.
  2204.  
  2205. 493
  2206. 00:19:54,592 --> 00:19:56,693
  2207. I was forced to quit
  2208. because of...
  2209.  
  2210. 494
  2211. 00:19:56,693 --> 00:19:57,828
  2212. Yeah, okay, man.
  2213.  
  2214. 495
  2215. 00:19:57,828 --> 00:19:59,031
  2216. Lie to me some more.
  2217.  
  2218. 496
  2219. 00:20:01,031 --> 00:20:02,571
  2220. You good?
  2221.  
  2222. 497
  2223. 00:20:07,571 --> 00:20:09,675
  2224. Shit. Is the secretary
  2225. of state looking at us?
  2226.  
  2227. 498
  2228. 00:20:11,675 --> 00:20:12,878
  2229. Oh, she's looking at you?
  2230.  
  2231. 499
  2232. 00:20:14,878 --> 00:20:16,384
  2233. Fred.
  2234.  
  2235. 500
  2236. 00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:21,553
  2237. Fred. What the hell?
  2238. What was that?
  2239.  
  2240. 501
  2241. 00:20:22,553 --> 00:20:24,690
  2242. Damn. Hey, what was that?
  2243.  
  2244. 502
  2245. 00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:27,291
  2246. I...
  2247.  
  2248. 503
  2249. 00:20:27,291 --> 00:20:28,692
  2250. Kinda... I kinda know her.
  2251. Okay?
  2252.  
  2253. 504
  2254. 00:20:28,692 --> 00:20:30,692
  2255. You kinda know her?
  2256.  
  2257. 505
  2258. 00:20:28,692 --> 00:20:30,627
  2259. Yeah.
  2260.  
  2261. 506
  2262. 00:20:30,627 --> 00:20:32,363
  2263. Nobody kinda knows
  2264. Charlotte Field, all right?
  2265.  
  2266. 507
  2267. 00:20:32,363 --> 00:20:33,765
  2268. It's like kinda knowing
  2269. a mermaid, dude.
  2270.  
  2271. 508
  2272. 00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:34,898
  2273. You tell people that shit.
  2274.  
  2275. 509
  2276. 00:20:34,898 --> 00:20:36,898
  2277. That's exceptional.
  2278.  
  2279. 510
  2280. 00:20:34,898 --> 00:20:36,567
  2281. Okay.
  2282.  
  2283. 511
  2284. 00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:37,868
  2285. I'll tell you a story.
  2286.  
  2287. 512
  2288. 00:20:37,868 --> 00:20:41,605
  2289. So, I'm like 13,
  2290. she's like 16.
  2291.  
  2292. 513
  2293. 00:20:41,605 --> 00:20:42,512
  2294. She's my babysitter.
  2295.  
  2296. 514
  2297. 00:20:48,512 --> 00:20:51,048
  2298. <i> She's like, perfect.
  2299. She's very nice to me,</i>
  2300.  
  2301. 515
  2302. 00:20:51,048 --> 00:20:52,583
  2303. <i>which goes a long way with me.</i>
  2304.  
  2305. 516
  2306. 00:20:52,583 --> 00:20:53,018
  2307. So, we're at her house...
  2308.  
  2309. 517
  2310. 00:20:54,018 --> 00:20:55,952
  2311. She's practicing a speech
  2312. that she's writing.
  2313.  
  2314. 518
  2315. 00:20:55,952 --> 00:20:57,922
  2316. <i> She's running for
  2317. Student Council president.</i>
  2318.  
  2319. 519
  2320. 00:20:57,922 --> 00:20:59,223
  2321. Did you know
  2322. that every year,
  2323.  
  2324. 520
  2325. 00:20:59,223 --> 00:21:02,059
  2326. the school throws away
  2327. over 500 tons
  2328. of recyclable garbage?
  2329.  
  2330. 521
  2331. 00:21:02,059 --> 00:21:04,059
  2332. And no one cares.
  2333.  
  2334. 522
  2335. 00:21:02,059 --> 00:21:04,895
  2336. I know, it's total bullshit.
  2337.  
  2338. 523
  2339. 00:21:04,895 --> 00:21:06,497
  2340. But how do you get idiots
  2341. to care about shit
  2342.  
  2343. 524
  2344. 00:21:06,497 --> 00:21:09,497
  2345. they don't care about?
  2346.  
  2347. 525
  2348. 00:21:06,497 --> 00:21:09,599
  2349. They'll just care
  2350.  
  2351. 526
  2352. 00:21:09,599 --> 00:21:11,635
  2353. because it's the right thing
  2354. to care about.
  2355.  
  2356. 527
  2357. 00:21:11,635 --> 00:21:14,638
  2358. You're more inspiring
  2359. than George Bush
  2360. and Dan Quayle combined.
  2361.  
  2362. 528
  2363. 00:21:14,638 --> 00:21:16,406
  2364. Well, that's not too hard.
  2365.  
  2366. 529
  2367. 00:21:17,842 --> 00:21:19,577
  2368. <i> Well, she was amazing,
  2369. and she was smart,</i>
  2370.  
  2371. 530
  2372. 00:21:19,577 --> 00:21:20,912
  2373. <i> and she seemed to
  2374. kinda like me,</i>
  2375.  
  2376. 531
  2377. 00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:22,680
  2378. <i> and I felt like
  2379. we were having a moment.</i>
  2380.  
  2381. 532
  2382. 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,848
  2383. You know what I mean?
  2384. Like a romantic moment.
  2385.  
  2386. 533
  2387. 00:21:24,848 --> 00:21:25,916
  2388. Oh, shit.
  2389.  
  2390. 534
  2391. 00:21:25,916 --> 00:21:27,518
  2392. <i> So I did something,</i>
  2393.  
  2394. 535
  2395. 00:21:27,518 --> 00:21:29,619
  2396. <i> that in retrospect
  2397. was highly inappropriate.</i>
  2398.  
  2399. 536
  2400. 00:21:29,619 --> 00:21:30,588
  2401. <i> I kissed her.</i>
  2402.  
  2403. 537
  2404. 00:21:31,588 --> 00:21:32,923
  2405. I looked down...
  2406.  
  2407. 538
  2408. 00:21:32,923 --> 00:21:35,093
  2409. <i> I got a fucking
  2410. 13-year-old boner, man!</i>
  2411.  
  2412. 539
  2413. 00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:37,093
  2414. Oh!
  2415.  
  2416. 540
  2417. 00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:37,929
  2418. Hard... But not big.
  2419.  
  2420. 541
  2421. 00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:40,731
  2422. But hard. And pronounced,
  2423. "13-year-old boner."
  2424.  
  2425. 542
  2426. 00:21:40,731 --> 00:21:41,732
  2427. Sorry.
  2428.  
  2429. 543
  2430. 00:21:41,732 --> 00:21:43,469
  2431. And she looks at it.
  2432. She sees it. And she goes...
  2433.  
  2434. 544
  2435. 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:45,536
  2436. It's okay.
  2437.  
  2438. 545
  2439. 00:21:45,536 --> 00:21:47,038
  2440. And then,
  2441.  
  2442. 546
  2443. 00:21:47,038 --> 00:21:48,905
  2444. her boyfriend comes
  2445. into the room,
  2446.  
  2447. 547
  2448. 00:21:48,905 --> 00:21:50,607
  2449. who was in the other room
  2450. watching<i> Blossom!</i>
  2451.  
  2452. 548
  2453. 00:21:50,607 --> 00:21:51,675
  2454. Hey, babe.
  2455.  
  2456. 549
  2457. 00:21:51,675 --> 00:21:53,544
  2458. Points out my fucking
  2459. little boner.
  2460.  
  2461. 550
  2462. 00:21:53,544 --> 00:21:55,544
  2463. <i> He makes a joke!</i>
  2464.  
  2465. 551
  2466. 00:21:53,544 --> 00:21:55,946
  2467. Whoa!
  2468.  
  2469. 552
  2470. 00:21:55,946 --> 00:21:57,115
  2471. <i> And they left.</i>
  2472.  
  2473. 553
  2474. 00:21:58,115 --> 00:21:59,685
  2475. I'm sorry.
  2476.  
  2477. 554
  2478. 00:22:01,685 --> 00:22:04,589
  2479. And I'm left
  2480. standing there alone...
  2481.  
  2482. 555
  2483. 00:22:05,589 --> 00:22:06,557
  2484. ...in the kitchen,
  2485.  
  2486. 556
  2487. 00:22:06,557 --> 00:22:09,559
  2488. with my little, hard
  2489. 13-year-old fucking boner.
  2490.  
  2491. 557
  2492. 00:22:09,559 --> 00:22:11,559
  2493. Hard as a rock.
  2494.  
  2495. 558
  2496. 00:22:09,559 --> 00:22:11,729
  2497. And on top of that,
  2498.  
  2499. 559
  2500. 00:22:11,729 --> 00:22:13,397
  2501. she didn't win
  2502. the fucking election.
  2503.  
  2504. 560
  2505. 00:22:13,397 --> 00:22:16,099
  2506. Bill Sterling won because
  2507. he ran on a two-prom platform.
  2508.  
  2509. 561
  2510. 00:22:16,099 --> 00:22:19,099
  2511. Two-prom!
  2512.  
  2513. 562
  2514. 00:22:16,099 --> 00:22:19,136
  2515. Two-proms! Back-to-back!
  2516.  
  2517. 563
  2518. 00:22:19,136 --> 00:22:21,506
  2519. She didn't stand
  2520. a fucking chance.
  2521.  
  2522. 564
  2523. 00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:22,641
  2524. No, man.
  2525.  
  2526. 565
  2527. 00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,674
  2528. I think you're skimming over
  2529. the best part of that story.
  2530.  
  2531. 566
  2532. 00:22:24,674 --> 00:22:26,411
  2533. What's the best part
  2534. of that story?
  2535.  
  2536. 567
  2537. 00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:28,179
  2538. She says your boner was okay.
  2539.  
  2540. 568
  2541. 00:22:28,179 --> 00:22:29,980
  2542. She said, "It's okay,"
  2543. like she was trying
  2544.  
  2545. 569
  2546. 00:22:29,980 --> 00:22:31,816
  2547. to not make me
  2548. fucking feel bad.
  2549.  
  2550. 570
  2551. 00:22:31,816 --> 00:22:33,817
  2552. Fred, you see
  2553. a fucked-up story,
  2554.  
  2555. 571
  2556. 00:22:33,817 --> 00:22:37,555
  2557. when I see a beautiful story
  2558. about a girl that you liked,
  2559.  
  2560. 572
  2561. 00:22:37,555 --> 00:22:40,691
  2562. liking your boner
  2563. in all of its okay-ness.
  2564.  
  2565. 573
  2566. 00:22:40,691 --> 00:22:42,759
  2567. You need
  2568. to talk to her tonight.
  2569.  
  2570. 574
  2571. 00:22:42,759 --> 00:22:43,028
  2572. She probably doesn't remember
  2573. who I am,
  2574.  
  2575. 575
  2576. 00:22:44,028 --> 00:22:45,730
  2577. and if she does remember
  2578. who I am,
  2579.  
  2580. 576
  2581. 00:22:45,730 --> 00:22:46,897
  2582. the last thing she wants is
  2583.  
  2584. 577
  2585. 00:22:46,897 --> 00:22:48,000
  2586. my 13-year-old-boner-having
  2587. fucking ass walking up to her.
  2588.  
  2589. 578
  2590. 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000
  2591. Look...
  2592.  
  2593. 579
  2594. 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,067
  2595. Excuse me.
  2596.  
  2597. 580
  2598. 00:22:50,067 --> 00:22:51,102
  2599. Whoa.
  2600.  
  2601. 581
  2602. 00:22:51,102 --> 00:22:52,769
  2603. Secretary Field would
  2604. like to speak with you.
  2605.  
  2606. 582
  2607. 00:22:52,769 --> 00:22:53,005
  2608. With me?
  2609.  
  2610. 583
  2611. 00:22:54,005 --> 00:22:55,440
  2612. With him, right?
  2613.  
  2614. 584
  2615. 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,440
  2616. Yeah.
  2617.  
  2618. 585
  2619. 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,208
  2620. Right now?
  2621.  
  2622. 586
  2623. 00:22:57,208 --> 00:22:58,809
  2624. Uh, do you know why?
  2625.  
  2626. 587
  2627. 00:22:58,809 --> 00:22:59,011
  2628. This way.
  2629.  
  2630. 588
  2631. 00:23:01,011 --> 00:23:02,180
  2632. This is good.
  2633.  
  2634. 589
  2635. 00:23:02,180 --> 00:23:03,614
  2636. What are you
  2637. nervous about?
  2638.  
  2639. 590
  2640. 00:23:03,614 --> 00:23:05,883
  2641. What the fuck?
  2642. Everything I just said!
  2643.  
  2644. 591
  2645. 00:23:15,526 --> 00:23:17,494
  2646. Oh, my God, dude,
  2647. there she is.
  2648.  
  2649. 592
  2650. 00:23:26,037 --> 00:23:27,872
  2651. What are you gonna
  2652. say to her?
  2653.  
  2654. 593
  2655. 00:23:27,872 --> 00:23:29,473
  2656. I don't know.
  2657.  
  2658. 594
  2659. 00:23:29,473 --> 00:23:30,842
  2660. Should open with a neg.
  2661.  
  2662. 595
  2663. 00:23:30,842 --> 00:23:32,143
  2664. Tell her she's too tall.
  2665.  
  2666. 596
  2667. 00:23:32,143 --> 00:23:34,045
  2668. I'm not gonna neg
  2669. the secretary of state.
  2670.  
  2671. 597
  2672. 00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:35,045
  2673. It was so nice to see you.
  2674.  
  2675. 598
  2676. 00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:35,115
  2677. You as well.
  2678.  
  2679. 599
  2680. 00:23:38,115 --> 00:23:40,917
  2681. Give me the signal
  2682. when you need me.
  2683.  
  2684. 600
  2685. 00:23:40,917 --> 00:23:43,917
  2686. Hi.
  2687.  
  2688. 601
  2689. 00:23:40,917 --> 00:23:43,054
  2690. Hi.
  2691.  
  2692. 602
  2693. 00:23:43,054 --> 00:23:44,489
  2694. A man brought me here.
  2695.  
  2696. 603
  2697. 00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:45,022
  2698. Yes, sorry about that.
  2699.  
  2700. 604
  2701. 00:23:46,022 --> 00:23:47,022
  2702. Um...
  2703.  
  2704. 605
  2705. 00:23:46,022 --> 00:23:47,057
  2706. No, not at all.
  2707.  
  2708. 606
  2709. 00:23:47,057 --> 00:23:49,926
  2710. I can't shake this feeling
  2711. that we know each other.
  2712.  
  2713. 607
  2714. 00:23:49,926 --> 00:23:51,926
  2715. We do. Yeah.
  2716.  
  2717. 608
  2718. 00:23:49,926 --> 00:23:51,561
  2719. We do?
  2720.  
  2721. 609
  2722. 00:23:51,561 --> 00:23:52,561
  2723. We do know each other.
  2724.  
  2725. 610
  2726. 00:23:51,561 --> 00:23:52,963
  2727. Okay, so I'm not crazy.
  2728.  
  2729. 611
  2730. 00:23:52,963 --> 00:23:55,963
  2731. Uh, I'm Fred.
  2732.  
  2733. 612
  2734. 00:23:52,963 --> 00:23:55,266
  2735. Fred...
  2736.  
  2737. 613
  2738. 00:23:55,266 --> 00:23:56,567
  2739. I was shorter,
  2740.  
  2741. 614
  2742. 00:23:56,567 --> 00:23:57,567
  2743. but other than that...
  2744.  
  2745. 615
  2746. 00:23:56,567 --> 00:23:57,001
  2747. Flarsky?
  2748.  
  2749. 616
  2750. 00:23:58,001 --> 00:23:59,069
  2751. Yeah! Holy fuck!
  2752.  
  2753. 617
  2754. 00:23:59,069 --> 00:24:00,770
  2755. I can't believe it.
  2756. You remember.
  2757.  
  2758. 618
  2759. 00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:03,039
  2760. Oh, my God,
  2761. look at you!
  2762.  
  2763. 619
  2764. 00:24:03,039 --> 00:24:04,241
  2765. Look at me, yes.
  2766.  
  2767. 620
  2768. 00:24:04,241 --> 00:24:05,509
  2769. What are you doing here?
  2770.  
  2771. 621
  2772. 00:24:05,509 --> 00:24:07,011
  2773. My friend, Lance...
  2774. That's Lance.
  2775.  
  2776. 622
  2777. 00:24:08,011 --> 00:24:09,047
  2778. Hey, how you doing?
  2779.  
  2780. 623
  2781. 00:24:09,047 --> 00:24:11,715
  2782. He, uh, he just brought me
  2783. here to see Boyz II Men.
  2784.  
  2785. 624
  2786. 00:24:11,715 --> 00:24:12,849
  2787. I just met them.
  2788.  
  2789. 625
  2790. 00:24:12,849 --> 00:24:14,849
  2791. You met the Men?
  2792.  
  2793. 626
  2794. 00:24:12,849 --> 00:24:14,684
  2795. Yeah.
  2796.  
  2797. 627
  2798. 00:24:14,684 --> 00:24:16,684
  2799. What was it like?
  2800.  
  2801. 628
  2802. 00:24:14,684 --> 00:24:16,287
  2803. Don't tell anybody,
  2804.  
  2805. 629
  2806. 00:24:16,287 --> 00:24:17,788
  2807. but it was
  2808. the highlight of my life.
  2809.  
  2810. 630
  2811. 00:24:17,788 --> 00:24:18,923
  2812. Oh, I totally get that.
  2813.  
  2814. 631
  2815. 00:24:18,923 --> 00:24:19,923
  2816. And I've met
  2817. the Dalai Lama.
  2818.  
  2819. 632
  2820. 00:24:19,923 --> 00:24:22,593
  2821. Fuck him. How many hits
  2822. does he have? None.
  2823.  
  2824. 633
  2825. 00:24:22,593 --> 00:24:24,529
  2826. Don't actually fuck him.
  2827.  
  2828. 634
  2829. 00:24:24,529 --> 00:24:25,529
  2830. He's a wonderful man.
  2831.  
  2832. 635
  2833. 00:24:24,529 --> 00:24:25,663
  2834. Yeah.
  2835.  
  2836. 636
  2837. 00:24:25,663 --> 00:24:27,097
  2838. What are you doing
  2839. these days?
  2840.  
  2841. 637
  2842. 00:24:27,097 --> 00:24:28,701
  2843. I bet it's
  2844. something amazing.
  2845.  
  2846. 638
  2847. 00:24:30,701 --> 00:24:31,701
  2848. It's pretty amazing.
  2849.  
  2850. 639
  2851. 00:24:30,701 --> 00:24:31,969
  2852. Yeah.
  2853.  
  2854. 640
  2855. 00:24:31,969 --> 00:24:33,037
  2856. Uh, yeah,
  2857.  
  2858. 641
  2859. 00:24:33,037 --> 00:24:35,640
  2860. but it's still in its, uh,
  2861. gestation period, I guess.
  2862.  
  2863. 642
  2864. 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:36,807
  2865. I don't need to get into it.
  2866.  
  2867. 643
  2868. 00:24:36,807 --> 00:24:37,875
  2869. What about you,
  2870. what have you been up to?
  2871.  
  2872. 644
  2873. 00:24:38,875 --> 00:24:40,044
  2874. You're the secretary...
  2875. I'm joking.
  2876.  
  2877. 645
  2878. 00:24:40,044 --> 00:24:41,178
  2879. I know what
  2880. you've been up to.
  2881.  
  2882. 646
  2883. 00:24:41,178 --> 00:24:42,178
  2884. Yeah.
  2885.  
  2886. 647
  2887. 00:24:41,178 --> 00:24:42,378
  2888. You're very, um...
  2889.  
  2890. 648
  2891. 00:24:42,378 --> 00:24:44,749
  2892. You know, I just, I... I just
  2893. wanna say it's, like, amazing
  2894.  
  2895. 649
  2896. 00:24:44,749 --> 00:24:45,816
  2897. to see what you've done
  2898. with your life.
  2899.  
  2900. 650
  2901. 00:24:45,816 --> 00:24:46,916
  2902. A lot of people say
  2903. they're gonna do
  2904.  
  2905. 651
  2906. 00:24:46,916 --> 00:24:49,053
  2907. all this incredible stuff
  2908. and they don't do anything,
  2909.  
  2910. 652
  2911. 00:24:49,053 --> 00:24:51,057
  2912. but you actually did it all,
  2913. so, congrats.
  2914.  
  2915. 653
  2916. 00:24:53,057 --> 00:24:54,026
  2917. Well, I'm trying.
  2918.  
  2919. 654
  2920. 00:24:55,026 --> 00:24:56,229
  2921. I think you've done it.
  2922.  
  2923. 655
  2924. 00:24:58,229 --> 00:24:59,698
  2925. Oh!
  2926.  
  2927. 656
  2928. 00:25:00,698 --> 00:25:01,999
  2929. Parker Wembley.
  2930.  
  2931. 657
  2932. 00:25:01,999 --> 00:25:03,267
  2933. I hate this guy.
  2934.  
  2935. 658
  2936. 00:25:03,267 --> 00:25:05,903
  2937. Parker Wembley, the guy
  2938. who buys and sells newspapers
  2939.  
  2940. 659
  2941. 00:25:05,903 --> 00:25:07,005
  2942. and thinks that hurricanes
  2943. are caused by gay marriage?
  2944.  
  2945. 660
  2946. 00:25:08,005 --> 00:25:09,073
  2947. You know him?
  2948.  
  2949. 661
  2950. 00:25:09,073 --> 00:25:10,273
  2951. He's coming over here.
  2952.  
  2953. 662
  2954. 00:25:10,273 --> 00:25:12,273
  2955. Is he behind me?
  2956.  
  2957. 663
  2958. 00:25:10,273 --> 00:25:12,042
  2959. Yeah.
  2960.  
  2961. 664
  2962. 00:25:12,042 --> 00:25:15,042
  2963. Finally. Secretary Field.
  2964.  
  2965. 665
  2966. 00:25:12,042 --> 00:25:15,645
  2967. Parker, how are you?
  2968.  
  2969. 666
  2970. 00:25:15,645 --> 00:25:17,815
  2971. You are looking
  2972. particularly gorgeous tonight.
  2973.  
  2974. 667
  2975. 00:25:17,815 --> 00:25:19,115
  2976. Thank you.
  2977.  
  2978. 668
  2979. 00:25:19,115 --> 00:25:21,285
  2980. I... I've been trying
  2981. to set a meeting with you
  2982.  
  2983. 669
  2984. 00:25:21,285 --> 00:25:23,887
  2985. for some months now,
  2986. and, uh...
  2987.  
  2988. 670
  2989. 00:25:23,887 --> 00:25:25,655
  2990. I mean, have you been
  2991. avoiding me?
  2992.  
  2993. 671
  2994. 00:25:25,655 --> 00:25:28,659
  2995. No! No.
  2996.  
  2997. 672
  2998. 00:25:28,659 --> 00:25:30,659
  2999. Not successfully.
  3000.  
  3001. 673
  3002. 00:25:32,262 --> 00:25:34,832
  3003. Who's your friend?
  3004.  
  3005. 674
  3006. 00:25:34,832 --> 00:25:36,832
  3007. Fred.
  3008.  
  3009. 675
  3010. 00:25:34,832 --> 00:25:36,701
  3011. Hey, Fred!
  3012.  
  3013. 676
  3014. 00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:37,701
  3015. Yes, hi.
  3016.  
  3017. 677
  3018. 00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:37,768
  3019. How are you?
  3020.  
  3021. 678
  3022. 00:25:37,768 --> 00:25:39,737
  3023. And, uh, what is it
  3024. that you do?
  3025.  
  3026. 679
  3027. 00:25:39,737 --> 00:25:41,771
  3028. I'm a journalist,
  3029. actually. Yeah.
  3030.  
  3031. 680
  3032. 00:25:41,771 --> 00:25:43,771
  3033. Ooh, a journalist.
  3034.  
  3035. 681
  3036. 00:25:41,771 --> 00:25:43,607
  3037. Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
  3038.  
  3039. 682
  3040. 00:25:43,607 --> 00:25:45,009
  3041. Will I have read
  3042. anything that you've written?
  3043.  
  3044. 683
  3045. 00:25:46,009 --> 00:25:48,813
  3046. Probably not recently 'cause
  3047. I'm unemployed at the moment.
  3048.  
  3049. 684
  3050. 00:25:48,813 --> 00:25:50,714
  3051. Oh, I am so sorry
  3052. to hear that.
  3053.  
  3054. 685
  3055. 00:25:50,714 --> 00:25:51,982
  3056. Not your fault.
  3057.  
  3058. 686
  3059. 00:25:51,982 --> 00:25:53,917
  3060. Excuse me, Secretary Field,
  3061. we need a word.
  3062.  
  3063. 687
  3064. 00:25:53,917 --> 00:25:55,917
  3065. Oh, okay.
  3066.  
  3067. 688
  3068. 00:25:53,917 --> 00:25:55,987
  3069. So we will have that meeting.
  3070.  
  3071. 689
  3072. 00:25:55,987 --> 00:25:57,987
  3073. Right?
  3074.  
  3075. 690
  3076. 00:25:55,987 --> 00:25:57,054
  3077. Yes.
  3078.  
  3079. 691
  3080. 00:25:57,054 --> 00:25:58,788
  3081. Okay, good. Fred.
  3082.  
  3083. 692
  3084. 00:25:58,788 --> 00:25:59,788
  3085. Yes?
  3086.  
  3087. 693
  3088. 00:25:58,788 --> 00:25:59,957
  3089. Best of luck.
  3090.  
  3091. 694
  3092. 00:25:59,957 --> 00:26:00,025
  3093. Oh, why, thanks.
  3094.  
  3095. 695
  3096. 00:26:01,025 --> 00:26:02,093
  3097. Things will turn around
  3098. for you.
  3099.  
  3100. 696
  3101. 00:26:02,093 --> 00:26:02,093
  3102. So nice of you.
  3103.  
  3104. 697
  3105. 00:26:02,993 --> 00:26:04,329
  3106. Darkest before the dawn
  3107. and all that.
  3108.  
  3109. 698
  3110. 00:26:06,329 --> 00:26:08,329
  3111. I actually... I do have to...
  3112.  
  3113. 699
  3114. 00:26:06,329 --> 00:26:08,798
  3115. Yeah.
  3116.  
  3117. 700
  3118. 00:26:08,798 --> 00:26:10,166
  3119. You probably have a lot
  3120. of things to do.
  3121.  
  3122. 701
  3123. 00:26:10,166 --> 00:26:11,234
  3124. Better than this.
  3125.  
  3126. 702
  3127. 00:26:11,234 --> 00:26:12,369
  3128. It's really nice
  3129. to see you again.
  3130.  
  3131. 703
  3132. 00:26:12,369 --> 00:26:15,369
  3133. Oh. Yeah. Okay. Sure. Great.
  3134.  
  3135. 704
  3136. 00:26:15,905 --> 00:26:18,942
  3137. Oh, you're backless.
  3138. Wasn't expecting that.
  3139.  
  3140. 705
  3141. 00:26:18,942 --> 00:26:20,942
  3142. Have fun at the party.
  3143.  
  3144. 706
  3145. 00:26:18,942 --> 00:26:20,810
  3146. You too.
  3147.  
  3148. 707
  3149. 00:26:20,810 --> 00:26:21,016
  3150. Great to see you.
  3151.  
  3152. 708
  3153. 00:26:25,016 --> 00:26:27,984
  3154. I see you. I see you. Yeah.
  3155.  
  3156. 709
  3157. 00:26:30,421 --> 00:26:32,357
  3158. So I said,
  3159. "You want..."
  3160.  
  3161. 710
  3162. 00:26:34,357 --> 00:26:35,759
  3163. Hey. Hey.
  3164. What's that look
  3165. in your eye?
  3166.  
  3167. 711
  3168. 00:26:35,759 --> 00:26:36,827
  3169. What are you
  3170. about to go do?
  3171.  
  3172. 712
  3173. 00:26:36,827 --> 00:26:38,663
  3174. Tonight is
  3175. about the animals, dude.
  3176.  
  3177. 713
  3178. 00:26:38,663 --> 00:26:40,664
  3179. Fuck the animals!
  3180. They're fucking gone, man.
  3181.  
  3182. 714
  3183. 00:26:40,664 --> 00:26:42,365
  3184. Too late
  3185. for the fucking animals.
  3186.  
  3187. 715
  3188. 00:26:44,201 --> 00:26:45,869
  3189. Hey!
  3190.  
  3191. 716
  3192. 00:26:45,869 --> 00:26:47,869
  3193. Oh, Fred?
  3194.  
  3195. 717
  3196. 00:26:45,869 --> 00:26:47,371
  3197. Yeah, look.
  3198.  
  3199. 718
  3200. 00:26:47,371 --> 00:26:49,371
  3201. What's the problem?
  3202.  
  3203. 719
  3204. 00:26:47,371 --> 00:26:49,707
  3205. I'll tell you the problem.
  3206.  
  3207. 720
  3208. 00:26:49,707 --> 00:26:51,707
  3209. What?
  3210.  
  3211. 721
  3212. 00:26:49,707 --> 00:26:51,241
  3213. You're the problem, man!
  3214.  
  3215. 722
  3216. 00:26:51,241 --> 00:26:53,810
  3217. You're everything that's wrong
  3218. with this fucking country.
  3219.  
  3220. 723
  3221. 00:26:53,810 --> 00:26:57,048
  3222. 'Cause you're an old,
  3223. rich, white piece of shit
  3224.  
  3225. 724
  3226. 00:26:57,048 --> 00:26:59,784
  3227. and your media conglomerate
  3228. is ruining this planet!
  3229.  
  3230. 725
  3231. 00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,784
  3232. Enough.
  3233.  
  3234. 726
  3235. 00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,719
  3236. I'm done anyway.
  3237.  
  3238. 727
  3239. 00:27:01,719 --> 00:27:03,386
  3240. I had more time with you
  3241. than I thought I would,
  3242.  
  3243. 728
  3244. 00:27:03,386 --> 00:27:04,021
  3245. so joke's on you.
  3246. Excuse me, thank you.
  3247.  
  3248. 729
  3249. 00:27:05,021 --> 00:27:06,691
  3250. Whoa, shit!
  3251.  
  3252. 730
  3253. 00:27:09,125 --> 00:27:10,361
  3254. God!
  3255.  
  3256. 731
  3257. 00:27:11,895 --> 00:27:13,064
  3258. <i>Cracker down!</i>
  3259.  
  3260. 732
  3261. 00:27:13,064 --> 00:27:14,464
  3262. Oh, my God.
  3263.  
  3264. 733
  3265. 00:27:14,464 --> 00:27:15,433
  3266. Looks like it hurt.
  3267.  
  3268. 734
  3269. 00:27:16,433 --> 00:27:18,301
  3270. Boyz II Men, back up.
  3271.  
  3272. 735
  3273. 00:27:18,301 --> 00:27:19,769
  3274. You all right? You good?
  3275.  
  3276. 736
  3277. 00:27:19,769 --> 00:27:20,769
  3278. You all right?
  3279.  
  3280. 737
  3281. 00:27:19,769 --> 00:27:20,938
  3282. I'm okay!
  3283.  
  3284. 738
  3285. 00:27:20,938 --> 00:27:21,006
  3286. He's okay!
  3287.  
  3288. 739
  3289. 00:27:22,006 --> 00:27:23,974
  3290. How is he standing?
  3291.  
  3292. 740
  3293. 00:27:29,747 --> 00:27:31,747
  3294. Oh!
  3295.  
  3296. 741
  3297. 00:27:29,747 --> 00:27:31,884
  3298. Ouch!
  3299.  
  3300. 742
  3301. 00:27:33,884 --> 00:27:37,721
  3302. ♪<i> Oh, no
  3303. That's the Ruff Ryder...</i>
  3304.  
  3305. 743
  3306. 00:27:37,721 --> 00:27:38,788
  3307. This is so creative.
  3308.  
  3309. 744
  3310. 00:27:41,125 --> 00:27:42,358
  3311. Ha-ha!
  3312.  
  3313. 745
  3314. 00:27:42,358 --> 00:27:43,358
  3315. What was that?
  3316.  
  3317. 746
  3318. 00:27:42,358 --> 00:27:43,428
  3319. Thank you, Tom.
  3320.  
  3321. 747
  3322. 00:27:44,428 --> 00:27:46,763
  3323. God, that was crazy.
  3324.  
  3325. 748
  3326. 00:27:46,763 --> 00:27:48,132
  3327. I mean,
  3328. now that we know he's okay,
  3329.  
  3330. 749
  3331. 00:27:48,132 --> 00:27:50,800
  3332. it was all so hilarious.
  3333.  
  3334. 750
  3335. 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,404
  3336. And so what is
  3337. the relationship exactly?
  3338.  
  3339. 751
  3340. 00:27:53,404 --> 00:27:55,404
  3341. Was he your super?
  3342.  
  3343. 752
  3344. 00:27:53,404 --> 00:27:55,038
  3345. No,
  3346.  
  3347. 753
  3348. 00:27:55,038 --> 00:27:56,973
  3349. we grew up
  3350. next door to each other.
  3351.  
  3352. 754
  3353. 00:27:56,973 --> 00:27:58,241
  3354. Yeah.
  3355.  
  3356. 755
  3357. 00:27:58,241 --> 00:28:01,112
  3358. Fuck,
  3359. I used to babysit for him.
  3360.  
  3361. 756
  3362. 00:28:01,112 --> 00:28:03,112
  3363. You babysat for him?
  3364.  
  3365. 757
  3366. 00:28:01,112 --> 00:28:03,346
  3367. I did.
  3368.  
  3369. 758
  3370. 00:28:03,346 --> 00:28:05,016
  3371. Wow. Time has not been kind.
  3372.  
  3373. 759
  3374. 00:28:06,016 --> 00:28:06,017
  3375. He was
  3376. such a strange little kid.
  3377.  
  3378. 760
  3379. 00:28:07,017 --> 00:28:10,221
  3380. But he was really funny.
  3381. And he was super smart.
  3382.  
  3383. 761
  3384. 00:28:10,221 --> 00:28:12,288
  3385. He did have this chip
  3386. on his shoulder, though.
  3387.  
  3388. 762
  3389. 00:28:12,288 --> 00:28:14,325
  3390. He's actually
  3391. not a bad writer.
  3392.  
  3393. 763
  3394. 00:28:14,325 --> 00:28:15,759
  3395. Wait, you've read
  3396. his stuff?
  3397.  
  3398. 764
  3399. 00:28:15,759 --> 00:28:16,961
  3400. Yeah,<i> Brooklyn Advocate.</i>
  3401.  
  3402. 765
  3403. 00:28:16,961 --> 00:28:19,262
  3404. Oh, God, of course,
  3405. you read that, Tom.
  3406.  
  3407. 766
  3408. 00:28:19,262 --> 00:28:20,030
  3409. Didn't that paper
  3410. just get sold off?
  3411.  
  3412. 767
  3413. 00:28:21,030 --> 00:28:22,398
  3414. Wembley Media
  3415. just bought them.
  3416.  
  3417. 768
  3418. 00:28:22,398 --> 00:28:24,969
  3419. Oh, that makes total sense.
  3420.  
  3421. 769
  3422. 00:28:24,969 --> 00:28:27,171
  3423. That's why he was
  3424. such a dick to Wembley.
  3425.  
  3426. 770
  3427. 00:28:27,171 --> 00:28:31,179
  3428. So the rest of the schedule
  3429. for the day is pretty packed.
  3430.  
  3431. 771
  3432. 00:28:41,484 --> 00:28:42,484
  3433. Hi.
  3434.  
  3435. 772
  3436. 00:28:41,484 --> 00:28:42,819
  3437. Hey.
  3438.  
  3439. 773
  3440. 00:28:42,819 --> 00:28:45,522
  3441. Did you like
  3442. any of those writing samples?
  3443.  
  3444. 774
  3445. 00:28:45,522 --> 00:28:48,392
  3446. Yeah, McKenzie is good.
  3447. Bess is solid.
  3448.  
  3449. 775
  3450. 00:28:48,392 --> 00:28:52,930
  3451. And, um,
  3452. Fred's stuff isn't too bad.
  3453.  
  3454. 776
  3455. 00:28:52,930 --> 00:28:54,898
  3456. Wait, not the...
  3457.  
  3458. 777
  3459. 00:28:54,898 --> 00:28:57,367
  3460. The homeless person
  3461. that fell down the stairs?
  3462.  
  3463. 778
  3464. 00:28:57,367 --> 00:28:59,970
  3465. Yeah. He has a real voice.
  3466.  
  3467. 779
  3468. 00:28:59,970 --> 00:29:02,573
  3469. And he knows me.
  3470. I mean, he knew me.
  3471.  
  3472. 780
  3473. 00:29:02,573 --> 00:29:04,240
  3474. And that's probably
  3475. a good thing
  3476.  
  3477. 781
  3478. 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,144
  3479. if he's going to be
  3480. writing for me.
  3481.  
  3482. 782
  3483. 00:29:07,144 --> 00:29:09,180
  3484. Bringing someone like that
  3485. onto the team,
  3486.  
  3487. 783
  3488. 00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:11,882
  3489. I have to say,
  3490. feels a little reckless.
  3491.  
  3492. 784
  3493. 00:29:11,882 --> 00:29:15,352
  3494. His writing is really good.
  3495. And it's funny.
  3496.  
  3497. 785
  3498. 00:29:15,352 --> 00:29:17,387
  3499. I think he can
  3500. get that number
  3501. up by a few points.
  3502.  
  3503. 786
  3504. 00:29:17,387 --> 00:29:19,957
  3505. And if he doesn't,
  3506. we fire him.
  3507.  
  3508. 787
  3509. 00:29:19,957 --> 00:29:20,025
  3510. Okay.
  3511.  
  3512. 788
  3513. 00:29:21,025 --> 00:29:22,559
  3514. Okay.
  3515.  
  3516. 789
  3517. 00:29:22,559 --> 00:29:24,461
  3518. Fred Flarsky it is.
  3519.  
  3520. 790
  3521. 00:29:24,461 --> 00:29:25,932
  3522. Thanks.
  3523.  
  3524. 791
  3525. 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,503
  3526. All right, bye.
  3527.  
  3528. 792
  3529. 00:29:38,442 --> 00:29:40,076
  3530. Unknown!
  3531.  
  3532. 793
  3533. 00:29:40,076 --> 00:29:41,878
  3534. I don't give a fuck.
  3535. Answer that shit.
  3536.  
  3537. 794
  3538. 00:29:41,878 --> 00:29:43,878
  3539. What?
  3540.  
  3541. 795
  3542. 00:29:41,878 --> 00:29:43,247
  3543. Answer it!
  3544.  
  3545. 796
  3546. 00:29:43,247 --> 00:29:44,882
  3547. What if it's The Man
  3548. trying to get at me?
  3549.  
  3550. 797
  3551. 00:29:44,882 --> 00:29:46,584
  3552. No, it's the universe
  3553. trying to talk to you.
  3554.  
  3555. 798
  3556. 00:29:46,584 --> 00:29:47,852
  3557. Really?
  3558.  
  3559. 799
  3560. 00:29:47,852 --> 00:29:49,852
  3561. Gang.
  3562.  
  3563. 800
  3564. 00:29:47,852 --> 00:29:49,319
  3565. Gang.
  3566.  
  3567. 801
  3568. 00:29:49,319 --> 00:29:51,087
  3569. Do that shit, man.
  3570. Fred, don't fuck with me.
  3571.  
  3572. 802
  3573. 00:29:51,087 --> 00:29:52,623
  3574. All right. Hello. Gang.
  3575.  
  3576. 803
  3577. 00:29:52,623 --> 00:29:54,623
  3578. Mr. Flarsky?
  3579.  
  3580. 804
  3581. 00:29:52,623 --> 00:29:54,458
  3582. <i> What?</i>
  3583.  
  3584. 805
  3585. 00:29:54,458 --> 00:29:55,992
  3586. Wait, slow down. What?
  3587.  
  3588. 806
  3589. 00:29:55,992 --> 00:29:57,992
  3590. <i> You're unknown. Pardon?</i>
  3591.  
  3592. 807
  3593. 00:29:55,992 --> 00:29:57,894
  3594. Oh, my God. Mr. Flarsky.
  3595.  
  3596. 808
  3597. 00:29:57,894 --> 00:29:59,894
  3598. <i> Hello?</i>
  3599.  
  3600. 809
  3601. 00:29:57,894 --> 00:29:59,997
  3602. Go on.
  3603.  
  3604. 810
  3605. 00:29:59,997 --> 00:30:03,601
  3606. This is Maggie Millikin
  3607. from Secretary Field's office.
  3608.  
  3609. 811
  3610. 00:30:03,601 --> 00:30:05,903
  3611. Hello, Maggie,
  3612. who works for Secretary Field.
  3613.  
  3614. 812
  3615. 00:30:05,903 --> 00:30:07,903
  3616. Whoo!
  3617.  
  3618. 813
  3619. 00:30:05,903 --> 00:30:07,570
  3620. <i> Hello?</i>
  3621.  
  3622. 814
  3623. 00:30:07,570 --> 00:30:08,873
  3624. That's good!
  3625. Talk to her.
  3626.  
  3627. 815
  3628. 00:30:08,873 --> 00:30:11,873
  3629. <i> Hello?</i>
  3630.  
  3631. 816
  3632. 00:30:08,873 --> 00:30:11,541
  3633. How can I help you?
  3634.  
  3635. 817
  3636. 00:30:11,541 --> 00:30:13,509
  3637. The secretary would like
  3638. to meet with you immediately.
  3639.  
  3640. 818
  3641. 00:30:13,509 --> 00:30:14,878
  3642. We will send a car over.
  3643.  
  3644. 819
  3645. 00:30:14,878 --> 00:30:16,579
  3646. Can you give me
  3647. the most convenient address?
  3648.  
  3649. 820
  3650. 00:30:16,579 --> 00:30:18,579
  3651. What is she saying?
  3652.  
  3653. 821
  3654. 00:30:16,579 --> 00:30:18,414
  3655. Secretary would like
  3656.  
  3657. 822
  3658. 00:30:18,414 --> 00:30:19,516
  3659. to meet with me immediately
  3660.  
  3661. 823
  3662. 00:30:19,516 --> 00:30:20,952
  3663. and they're going
  3664. to send a car?
  3665.  
  3666. 824
  3667. 00:30:22,952 --> 00:30:25,623
  3668. Mr. Lou's Deli in Brooklyn.
  3669.  
  3670. 825
  3671. 00:30:25,623 --> 00:30:28,623
  3672. I'm sure you can find it.
  3673.  
  3674. 826
  3675. 00:30:25,623 --> 00:30:28,057
  3676. <i> I will google it.</i>
  3677.  
  3678. 827
  3679. 00:30:28,057 --> 00:30:30,094
  3680. Mr. Lou's in Brooklyn.
  3681. Stay right there.
  3682.  
  3683. 828
  3684. 00:30:30,094 --> 00:30:31,161
  3685. <i> Okay.</i>
  3686.  
  3687. 829
  3688. 00:30:31,161 --> 00:30:33,329
  3689. Uh, I'll see you soon.
  3690.  
  3691. 830
  3692. 00:30:33,329 --> 00:30:35,400
  3693. Oh,
  3694. I feel so scared.
  3695.  
  3696. 831
  3697. 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:37,534
  3698. Do I look okay?
  3699.  
  3700. 832
  3701. 00:30:37,534 --> 00:30:38,002
  3702. Do I look funny?
  3703.  
  3704. 833
  3705. 00:30:39,002 --> 00:30:40,002
  3706. Why are these pockets here?
  3707.  
  3708. 834
  3709. 00:30:39,002 --> 00:30:40,237
  3710. It's okay.
  3711.  
  3712. 835
  3713. 00:30:40,237 --> 00:30:41,505
  3714. God fucking damn it!
  3715.  
  3716. 836
  3717. 00:30:41,505 --> 00:30:43,374
  3718. Why am I wearing
  3719. these fucking stupid pants?
  3720.  
  3721. 837
  3722. 00:30:43,374 --> 00:30:44,608
  3723. They're too tapered!
  3724.  
  3725. 838
  3726. 00:30:44,608 --> 00:30:47,044
  3727. Who wears these silly-looking,
  3728. fucking tapered cargo pants
  3729.  
  3730. 839
  3731. 00:30:47,044 --> 00:30:49,179
  3732. and see the fucking
  3733. secretary of state?
  3734.  
  3735. 840
  3736. 00:30:49,179 --> 00:30:50,681
  3737. You can't think like this.
  3738. You have to be positive.
  3739.  
  3740. 841
  3741. 00:30:50,681 --> 00:30:52,681
  3742. Mr. Flarsky?
  3743.  
  3744. 842
  3745. 00:30:50,681 --> 00:30:52,182
  3746. Oh, shit.
  3747.  
  3748. 843
  3749. 00:30:52,182 --> 00:30:53,920
  3750. Mr. Flarsky.
  3751.  
  3752. 844
  3753. 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:56,020
  3754. Wish me luck, man.
  3755.  
  3756. 845
  3757. 00:30:57,020 --> 00:30:58,555
  3758. Yeah, you don't need luck, man.
  3759. She said it was okay.
  3760.  
  3761. 846
  3762. 00:30:58,555 --> 00:30:59,623
  3763. Luck is for losers.
  3764.  
  3765. 847
  3766. 00:30:59,623 --> 00:31:01,625
  3767. You've got destiny
  3768. on your side.
  3769.  
  3770. 848
  3771. 00:31:01,625 --> 00:31:04,428
  3772. You're good. Fred.
  3773.  
  3774. 849
  3775. 00:31:04,428 --> 00:31:05,596
  3776. You buy the body.
  3777.  
  3778. 850
  3779. 00:31:06,596 --> 00:31:07,499
  3780. That doesn't mean anything.
  3781.  
  3782. 851
  3783. 00:31:10,300 --> 00:31:11,969
  3784. Fred, put your
  3785. seat belt on.
  3786.  
  3787. 852
  3788. 00:31:11,969 --> 00:31:14,506
  3789. Take care of my friend.
  3790. All right?
  3791.  
  3792. 853
  3793. 00:31:15,506 --> 00:31:17,506
  3794. I look normal?
  3795.  
  3796. 854
  3797. 00:31:15,506 --> 00:31:17,708
  3798. You look cool.
  3799.  
  3800. 855
  3801. 00:31:17,708 --> 00:31:19,676
  3802. I love you, Fred!
  3803.  
  3804. 856
  3805. 00:31:19,676 --> 00:31:21,627
  3806. Nut boys for life!
  3807.  
  3808. 857
  3809. 00:31:37,627 --> 00:31:40,596
  3810. Empty your pockets
  3811. and take off your backpack.
  3812.  
  3813. 858
  3814. 00:31:40,596 --> 00:31:41,101
  3815. Empty my pockets?
  3816.  
  3817. 859
  3818. 00:31:44,101 --> 00:31:45,603
  3819. All right. That's...
  3820.  
  3821. 860
  3822. 00:31:46,603 --> 00:31:48,141
  3823. Let's see how this goes.
  3824.  
  3825. 861
  3826. 00:31:51,141 --> 00:31:53,176
  3827. Not a regular cop, I assume.
  3828.  
  3829. 862
  3830. 00:31:53,176 --> 00:31:56,547
  3831. Got bigger fish to fry than
  3832. just normal cop shit, right?
  3833.  
  3834. 863
  3835. 00:31:56,547 --> 00:31:58,182
  3836. So, uh, okay. Let's do it.
  3837.  
  3838. 864
  3839. 00:32:00,351 --> 00:32:04,087
  3840. That's prescription.
  3841. For anxiety. Uh...
  3842.  
  3843. 865
  3844. 00:32:04,087 --> 00:32:07,657
  3845. This is if you can't dance for
  3846. a long time and you want to.
  3847.  
  3848. 866
  3849. 00:32:07,657 --> 00:32:10,327
  3850. That's prescription as well,
  3851. for, uh, lack of energy.
  3852.  
  3853. 867
  3854. 00:32:10,327 --> 00:32:11,595
  3855. That's energy powder.
  3856.  
  3857. 868
  3858. 00:32:11,595 --> 00:32:15,066
  3859. These are to wrap
  3860. the anxiety medication in
  3861.  
  3862. 869
  3863. 00:32:16,066 --> 00:32:19,135
  3864. when inhaling it medicinally.
  3865.  
  3866. 870
  3867. 00:32:19,135 --> 00:32:21,605
  3868. That's if you want to vaporize
  3869. the anxiety medicine,
  3870.  
  3871. 871
  3872. 00:32:21,605 --> 00:32:23,273
  3873. which I have
  3874. a prescription for.
  3875.  
  3876. 872
  3877. 00:32:24,273 --> 00:32:25,045
  3878. And that's a blunt.
  3879.  
  3880. 873
  3881. 00:32:31,647 --> 00:32:32,651
  3882. Ooh.
  3883.  
  3884. 874
  3885. 00:32:34,651 --> 00:32:35,690
  3886. Hi.
  3887.  
  3888. 875
  3889. 00:32:41,392 --> 00:32:42,627
  3890. Wow.
  3891.  
  3892. 876
  3893. 00:32:44,627 --> 00:32:46,096
  3894. Will you sign this, please?
  3895.  
  3896. 877
  3897. 00:32:46,096 --> 00:32:48,096
  3898. What is it?
  3899.  
  3900. 878
  3901. 00:32:46,096 --> 00:32:48,298
  3902. It's an NDA.
  3903.  
  3904. 879
  3905. 00:32:48,298 --> 00:32:49,365
  3906. A non-disclosure agreement?
  3907.  
  3908. 880
  3909. 00:32:49,365 --> 00:32:51,365
  3910. That's right.
  3911.  
  3912. 881
  3913. 00:32:49,365 --> 00:32:51,667
  3914. Okay.
  3915.  
  3916. 882
  3917. 00:32:51,667 --> 00:32:53,667
  3918. Oh, my God.
  3919.  
  3920. 883
  3921. 00:32:51,667 --> 00:32:53,336
  3922. Fred.
  3923.  
  3924. 884
  3925. 00:32:53,336 --> 00:32:55,336
  3926. Yeah.
  3927.  
  3928. 885
  3929. 00:32:53,336 --> 00:32:55,138
  3930. Hey, nice to see you again.
  3931.  
  3932. 886
  3933. 00:32:55,138 --> 00:32:56,138
  3934. Hi, you too.
  3935.  
  3936. 887
  3937. 00:32:55,138 --> 00:32:56,472
  3938. Come on in.
  3939.  
  3940. 888
  3941. 00:32:56,472 --> 00:32:57,473
  3942. Take a seat.
  3943.  
  3944. 889
  3945. 00:32:57,473 --> 00:32:59,675
  3946. Good to see you were
  3947. not injured from that fall.
  3948.  
  3949. 890
  3950. 00:32:59,675 --> 00:33:01,511
  3951. Oh, yeah, you know what?
  3952.  
  3953. 891
  3954. 00:33:01,511 --> 00:33:03,113
  3955. I actually think
  3956. the brim of my hat
  3957.  
  3958. 892
  3959. 00:33:03,113 --> 00:33:04,681
  3960. kind of protected
  3961. my face ultimately.
  3962.  
  3963. 893
  3964. 00:33:04,681 --> 00:33:07,084
  3965. So, thank God
  3966. I was underdressed
  3967. in the end, right?
  3968.  
  3969. 894
  3970. 00:33:07,084 --> 00:33:09,053
  3971. Well, as long as you're good.
  3972.  
  3973. 895
  3974. 00:33:09,053 --> 00:33:10,053
  3975. I'm okay.
  3976.  
  3977. 896
  3978. 00:33:09,053 --> 00:33:10,453
  3979. Yeah. Great.
  3980.  
  3981. 897
  3982. 00:33:10,453 --> 00:33:11,323
  3983. Uh...
  3984.  
  3985. 898
  3986. 00:33:13,323 --> 00:33:14,758
  3987. Why am I here?
  3988.  
  3989. 899
  3990. 00:33:14,758 --> 00:33:16,359
  3991. What I'm about to
  3992. share with you
  3993.  
  3994. 900
  3995. 00:33:16,359 --> 00:33:18,494
  3996. is, obviously,
  3997. highly confidential.
  3998.  
  3999. 901
  4000. 00:33:18,494 --> 00:33:19,596
  4001. Oh, yeah.
  4002.  
  4003. 902
  4004. 00:33:19,596 --> 00:33:21,532
  4005. Keep it
  4006. on the down low.
  4007.  
  4008. 903
  4009. 00:33:22,532 --> 00:33:25,501
  4010. President Chambers will not
  4011. be seeking reelection.
  4012.  
  4013. 904
  4014. 00:33:25,501 --> 00:33:26,569
  4015. Really?
  4016.  
  4017. 905
  4018. 00:33:26,569 --> 00:33:28,238
  4019. Yes.
  4020.  
  4021. 906
  4022. 00:33:28,238 --> 00:33:32,241
  4023. That's fucking sick!
  4024. That's awesome.
  4025.  
  4026. 907
  4027. 00:33:32,241 --> 00:33:35,345
  4028. Are you telling each American
  4029. individually the good news?
  4030.  
  4031. 908
  4032. 00:33:35,345 --> 00:33:36,413
  4033. I mean, but seriously.
  4034.  
  4035. 909
  4036. 00:33:36,413 --> 00:33:37,580
  4037. Did he just realize
  4038. he sucks at it
  4039.  
  4040. 910
  4041. 00:33:37,580 --> 00:33:39,316
  4042. and decide
  4043. not to do it anymore?
  4044.  
  4045. 911
  4046. 00:33:39,316 --> 00:33:43,252
  4047. He just wants to move
  4048. into film and make movies.
  4049.  
  4050. 912
  4051. 00:33:43,252 --> 00:33:44,252
  4052. Really?
  4053.  
  4054. 913
  4055. 00:33:43,252 --> 00:33:44,721
  4056. Yeah.
  4057.  
  4058. 914
  4059. 00:33:44,721 --> 00:33:46,623
  4060. That's cool. That's a tough
  4061. transition to make.
  4062.  
  4063. 915
  4064. 00:33:46,623 --> 00:33:49,460
  4065. Not many actors have made
  4066. the leap from TV to film.
  4067.  
  4068. 916
  4069. 00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:51,194
  4070. You got George Clooney,
  4071. you got Woody Harrelson...
  4072.  
  4073. 917
  4074. 00:33:51,194 --> 00:33:52,261
  4075. Jennifer Aniston.
  4076.  
  4077. 918
  4078. 00:33:52,261 --> 00:33:53,864
  4079. Mmm, did she though?
  4080.  
  4081. 919
  4082. 00:33:53,864 --> 00:33:55,566
  4083. You don't think
  4084. Jennifer Aniston's
  4085. a movie star?
  4086.  
  4087. 920
  4088. 00:33:55,566 --> 00:33:56,633
  4089. Just 'cause
  4090. you star in movies
  4091.  
  4092. 921
  4093. 00:33:56,633 --> 00:33:57,701
  4094. doesn't mean
  4095. you're a movie star.
  4096.  
  4097. 922
  4098. 00:33:57,701 --> 00:33:59,836
  4099. The point is...
  4100.  
  4101. 923
  4102. 00:33:59,836 --> 00:34:02,140
  4103. He's going to endorse me
  4104. for president in 2020.
  4105.  
  4106. 924
  4107. 00:34:03,140 --> 00:34:04,208
  4108. Wow.
  4109.  
  4110. 925
  4111. 00:34:04,208 --> 00:34:05,208
  4112. I know.
  4113.  
  4114. 926
  4115. 00:34:04,208 --> 00:34:05,541
  4116. <i> Mazel tov.</i>
  4117.  
  4118. 927
  4119. 00:34:05,541 --> 00:34:06,676
  4120. So.
  4121.  
  4122. 928
  4123. 00:34:06,676 --> 00:34:08,744
  4124. We're headed to
  4125. an environmental summit
  4126.  
  4127. 929
  4128. 00:34:08,744 --> 00:34:10,179
  4129. hosted by King Gustav
  4130.  
  4131. 930
  4132. 00:34:10,179 --> 00:34:11,815
  4133. and the Swedish Royal Family.
  4134.  
  4135. 931
  4136. 00:34:11,815 --> 00:34:14,117
  4137. At the summit,
  4138. I'll be announcing
  4139.  
  4140. 932
  4141. 00:34:14,117 --> 00:34:16,219
  4142. that the world's
  4143. three largest polluters
  4144.  
  4145. 933
  4146. 00:34:16,219 --> 00:34:17,588
  4147. have signed on
  4148. to the most comprehensive
  4149.  
  4150. 934
  4151. 00:34:17,588 --> 00:34:19,590
  4152. and exciting
  4153. environmental deal ever.
  4154.  
  4155. 935
  4156. 00:34:19,590 --> 00:34:20,858
  4157. You know,
  4158. after I have some dairy,
  4159.  
  4160. 936
  4161. 00:34:20,858 --> 00:34:22,726
  4162. I'm one of the world's
  4163. three largest polluters.
  4164.  
  4165. 937
  4166. 00:34:22,726 --> 00:34:23,893
  4167. Excuse me?
  4168.  
  4169. 938
  4170. 00:34:23,893 --> 00:34:26,295
  4171. We'll address
  4172. rising sea levels,
  4173.  
  4174. 939
  4175. 00:34:26,295 --> 00:34:27,898
  4176. combat deforestation
  4177.  
  4178. 940
  4179. 00:34:27,898 --> 00:34:30,233
  4180. and protect
  4181. the world's pollinators.
  4182.  
  4183. 941
  4184. 00:34:30,233 --> 00:34:33,336
  4185. I'm calling it the Global
  4186. Rehabilitation Initiative.
  4187.  
  4188. 942
  4189. 00:34:33,336 --> 00:34:34,605
  4190. Internally,
  4191. we're referring to it
  4192.  
  4193. 943
  4194. 00:34:34,605 --> 00:34:35,905
  4195. as "Bees, Trees and the Seas."
  4196.  
  4197. 944
  4198. 00:34:35,905 --> 00:34:37,440
  4199. Soon after that,
  4200.  
  4201. 945
  4202. 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,775
  4203. I hope to announce that
  4204. 100 countries have signed on.
  4205.  
  4206. 946
  4207. 00:34:39,775 --> 00:34:42,775
  4208. Wow.
  4209.  
  4210. 947
  4211. 00:34:39,775 --> 00:34:42,279
  4212. At which point...
  4213.  
  4214. 948
  4215. 00:34:42,279 --> 00:34:44,648
  4216. I will resign
  4217. as secretary of state.
  4218.  
  4219. 949
  4220. 00:34:44,648 --> 00:34:47,650
  4221. Using this initiative
  4222. as a springboard,
  4223.  
  4224. 950
  4225. 00:34:47,650 --> 00:34:49,853
  4226. I will announce
  4227. my presidential run in 2020.
  4228.  
  4229. 951
  4230. 00:34:49,853 --> 00:34:51,853
  4231. Cool.
  4232.  
  4233. 952
  4234. 00:34:49,853 --> 00:34:51,356
  4235. So...
  4236.  
  4237. 953
  4238. 00:34:53,356 --> 00:34:55,925
  4239. I need some writers
  4240. to punch up my speeches.
  4241.  
  4242. 954
  4243. 00:34:55,925 --> 00:34:58,262
  4244. I read your work
  4245. and I really like it.
  4246.  
  4247. 955
  4248. 00:34:58,262 --> 00:34:59,463
  4249. That's... Wow.
  4250.  
  4251. 956
  4252. 00:34:59,463 --> 00:35:01,164
  4253. You mentioned
  4254. you were between jobs.
  4255.  
  4256. 957
  4257. 00:35:01,164 --> 00:35:02,132
  4258. So it's a really good fit.
  4259.  
  4260. 958
  4261. 00:35:02,132 --> 00:35:04,701
  4262. It's so nice of you
  4263. to think of me at all,
  4264.  
  4265. 959
  4266. 00:35:04,701 --> 00:35:07,204
  4267. honestly, with everything
  4268. going on in your head.
  4269.  
  4270. 960
  4271. 00:35:07,204 --> 00:35:08,505
  4272. I look forward
  4273. to working with you.
  4274.  
  4275. 961
  4276. 00:35:08,505 --> 00:35:09,641
  4277. Thank you.
  4278.  
  4279. 962
  4280. 00:35:11,641 --> 00:35:14,779
  4281. Um... So, uh,
  4282. when do you need to know by?
  4283.  
  4284. 963
  4285. 00:35:15,779 --> 00:35:17,914
  4286. What?
  4287. I don't understand.
  4288.  
  4289. 964
  4290. 00:35:17,914 --> 00:35:19,949
  4291. When do you need to know if
  4292. I'm going to take your, uh,
  4293.  
  4294. 965
  4295. 00:35:19,949 --> 00:35:21,920
  4296. your punch-up job?
  4297.  
  4298. 966
  4299. 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,387
  4300. Right now.
  4301.  
  4302. 967
  4303. 00:35:24,387 --> 00:35:26,956
  4304. Oh. Uh...
  4305. Then I guess,
  4306.  
  4307. 968
  4308. 00:35:26,956 --> 00:35:29,659
  4309. maybe... Maybe, uh, no?
  4310.  
  4311. 969
  4312. 00:35:29,659 --> 00:35:31,929
  4313. Maybe no, I don't know.
  4314. I don't know!
  4315.  
  4316. 970
  4317. 00:35:31,929 --> 00:35:32,030
  4318. You know what,
  4319. Madam Secretary,
  4320.  
  4321. 971
  4322. 00:35:33,030 --> 00:35:34,965
  4323. he's not interested.
  4324. We tried, it didn't work out.
  4325.  
  4326. 972
  4327. 00:35:34,965 --> 00:35:37,739
  4328. So I can give you
  4329. some writing samples...
  4330.  
  4331. 973
  4332. 00:35:42,739 --> 00:35:44,740
  4333. What don't you know?
  4334.  
  4335. 974
  4336. 00:35:44,740 --> 00:35:47,277
  4337. This whole Seas, Bees
  4338. and Trees thing.
  4339.  
  4340. 975
  4341. 00:35:47,277 --> 00:35:48,911
  4342. Is it actually
  4343. going to do something?
  4344.  
  4345. 976
  4346. 00:35:48,911 --> 00:35:50,581
  4347. Or is it going to be
  4348. one of those things
  4349.  
  4350. 977
  4351. 00:35:50,581 --> 00:35:52,615
  4352. that maybe only sounds like
  4353. it's gonna do something,
  4354.  
  4355. 978
  4356. 00:35:52,615 --> 00:35:54,351
  4357. but doesn't
  4358. actually do something?
  4359.  
  4360. 979
  4361. 00:35:54,351 --> 00:35:56,887
  4362. I only wanna come work for you
  4363.  
  4364. 980
  4365. 00:35:56,887 --> 00:35:58,454
  4366. if it's actually
  4367. gonna do something.
  4368.  
  4369. 981
  4370. 00:35:58,454 --> 00:35:59,755
  4371. It will do something.
  4372.  
  4373. 982
  4374. 00:35:59,755 --> 00:36:01,625
  4375. This is a perfect document.
  4376.  
  4377. 983
  4378. 00:36:01,625 --> 00:36:03,927
  4379. They all start out that way
  4380. and then
  4381. they get watered down.
  4382.  
  4383. 984
  4384. 00:36:03,927 --> 00:36:04,862
  4385. Fred.
  4386.  
  4387. 985
  4388. 00:36:04,862 --> 00:36:07,331
  4389. Not only does
  4390. this initiative
  4391. sound good,
  4392.  
  4393. 986
  4394. 00:36:07,331 --> 00:36:08,199
  4395. it's going to do good.
  4396.  
  4397. 987
  4398. 00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:10,567
  4399. It's gonna save
  4400. the fucking planet.
  4401.  
  4402. 988
  4403. 00:36:10,567 --> 00:36:12,735
  4404. Not to mention,
  4405. pay your rent.
  4406.  
  4407. 989
  4408. 00:36:12,735 --> 00:36:13,003
  4409. So, are you in?
  4410.  
  4411. 990
  4412. 00:36:14,003 --> 00:36:16,641
  4413. Or do you have something
  4414. more important to do?
  4415.  
  4416. 991
  4417. 00:36:17,641 --> 00:36:19,010
  4418. Than save the planet with you?
  4419.  
  4420. 992
  4421. 00:36:21,010 --> 00:36:23,646
  4422. No, I don't.
  4423. I'm in.
  4424.  
  4425. 993
  4426. 00:36:23,646 --> 00:36:25,481
  4427. Phew!
  4428.  
  4429. 994
  4430. 00:36:25,481 --> 00:36:26,416
  4431. Let's save the planet.
  4432.  
  4433. 995
  4434. 00:36:27,416 --> 00:36:28,351
  4435. That was...
  4436.  
  4437. 996
  4438. 00:36:28,351 --> 00:36:30,978
  4439. What just happened?
  4440. She's good.
  4441.  
  4442. 997
  4443. 00:36:56,045 --> 00:36:57,949
  4444. Uh, hey.
  4445.  
  4446. 998
  4447. 00:36:58,949 --> 00:37:00,951
  4448. I had some jokes, uh,
  4449. I was gonna run by you,
  4450.  
  4451. 999
  4452. 00:37:00,951 --> 00:37:02,688
  4453. maybe, if you have a second.
  4454.  
  4455. 1000
  4456. 00:37:05,688 --> 00:37:08,494
  4457. What are you...
  4458. What are you looking at?
  4459.  
  4460. 1001
  4461. 00:37:12,695 --> 00:37:13,695
  4462. Jesus!
  4463.  
  4464. 1002
  4465. 00:37:12,695 --> 00:37:13,764
  4466. Oh, my God!
  4467.  
  4468. 1003
  4469. 00:37:13,764 --> 00:37:15,998
  4470. Why would you just barge
  4471. in here while I'm sleeping?
  4472.  
  4473. 1004
  4474. 00:37:15,998 --> 00:37:17,998
  4475. You were sleeping?
  4476.  
  4477. 1005
  4478. 00:37:15,998 --> 00:37:17,534
  4479. Yes!
  4480.  
  4481. 1006
  4482. 00:37:17,534 --> 00:37:19,302
  4483. I was micro napping.
  4484.  
  4485. 1007
  4486. 00:37:19,302 --> 00:37:21,302
  4487. That's what you call that?
  4488.  
  4489. 1008
  4490. 00:37:19,302 --> 00:37:21,070
  4491. Yes.
  4492.  
  4493. 1009
  4494. 00:37:21,070 --> 00:37:22,739
  4495. Sorry, I didn't realize
  4496. you were sleeping.
  4497.  
  4498. 1010
  4499. 00:37:22,739 --> 00:37:24,307
  4500. You were standing
  4501. and your eyes were open.
  4502.  
  4503. 1011
  4504. 00:37:24,307 --> 00:37:25,375
  4505. Do you need something?
  4506.  
  4507. 1012
  4508. 00:37:25,375 --> 00:37:26,476
  4509. I have some jokes
  4510. that I wrote
  4511.  
  4512. 1013
  4513. 00:37:26,476 --> 00:37:28,478
  4514. that I was gonna run by you
  4515. if you have a second.
  4516.  
  4517. 1014
  4518. 00:37:28,478 --> 00:37:29,945
  4519. Yeah, that was actually
  4520. a really good nap.
  4521.  
  4522. 1015
  4523. 00:37:29,945 --> 00:37:31,981
  4524. Great. Seemed very restful.
  4525.  
  4526. 1016
  4527. 00:37:31,981 --> 00:37:32,885
  4528. Okay.
  4529.  
  4530. 1017
  4531. 00:37:35,885 --> 00:37:36,820
  4532. Whoa.
  4533.  
  4534. 1018
  4535. 00:37:36,820 --> 00:37:40,423
  4536. I feel like these jokes
  4537. are a little angry.
  4538.  
  4539. 1019
  4540. 00:37:40,423 --> 00:37:42,726
  4541. Oh. I thought maybe
  4542. they were, like, emphatic?
  4543.  
  4544. 1020
  4545. 00:37:42,726 --> 00:37:44,628
  4546. "With every
  4547. fracking drill thrust,
  4548.  
  4549. 1021
  4550. 00:37:44,628 --> 00:37:47,463
  4551. "we are literally
  4552. butt-fucking Mother Earth"?
  4553.  
  4554. 1022
  4555. 00:37:47,463 --> 00:37:48,632
  4556. It can be normal fucking.
  4557.  
  4558. 1023
  4559. 00:37:48,632 --> 00:37:49,000
  4560. It doesn't have to be
  4561. in the butt.
  4562.  
  4563. 1024
  4564. 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,068
  4565. I can take that part out.
  4566.  
  4567. 1025
  4568. 00:37:51,068 --> 00:37:52,635
  4569. Yeah, listen, Fred.
  4570.  
  4571. 1026
  4572. 00:37:52,635 --> 00:37:54,036
  4573. If I'm angry,
  4574. I'm hysterical.
  4575.  
  4576. 1027
  4577. 00:37:54,036 --> 00:37:55,639
  4578. If I'm emotional,
  4579. I'm weak.
  4580.  
  4581. 1028
  4582. 00:37:55,639 --> 00:37:57,373
  4583. If I so much as
  4584. raise my voice, I'm a bitch.
  4585.  
  4586. 1029
  4587. 00:37:57,373 --> 00:37:58,641
  4588. My job's hard.
  4589.  
  4590. 1030
  4591. 00:37:58,641 --> 00:38:00,610
  4592. Not as hard as mine.
  4593.  
  4594. 1031
  4595. 00:38:00,610 --> 00:38:02,411
  4596. I think maybe, like,
  4597. part of the problem
  4598.  
  4599. 1032
  4600. 00:38:02,411 --> 00:38:04,681
  4601. is that, like, a lot of humor
  4602. is based on,
  4603.  
  4604. 1033
  4605. 00:38:04,681 --> 00:38:06,817
  4606. like, personal experiences.
  4607.  
  4608. 1034
  4609. 00:38:06,817 --> 00:38:07,717
  4610. I was thinking, you know,
  4611.  
  4612. 1035
  4613. 00:38:07,717 --> 00:38:09,686
  4614. you cared a lot
  4615. about the environment
  4616.  
  4617. 1036
  4618. 00:38:09,686 --> 00:38:10,686
  4619. since high school.
  4620.  
  4621. 1037
  4622. 00:38:09,686 --> 00:38:10,853
  4623. Mmm-hmm.
  4624.  
  4625. 1038
  4626. 00:38:10,853 --> 00:38:14,590
  4627. So maybe include
  4628. some stories about that.
  4629.  
  4630. 1039
  4631. 00:38:14,590 --> 00:38:15,590
  4632. High school?
  4633.  
  4634. 1040
  4635. 00:38:14,590 --> 00:38:15,527
  4636. Yeah.
  4637.  
  4638. 1041
  4639. 00:38:17,527 --> 00:38:18,795
  4640. You think that's funny?
  4641.  
  4642. 1042
  4643. 00:38:18,795 --> 00:38:19,896
  4644. I think it's a good area.
  4645.  
  4646. 1043
  4647. 00:38:19,896 --> 00:38:21,965
  4648. Nostalgia,
  4649. pop culture references.
  4650.  
  4651. 1044
  4652. 00:38:21,965 --> 00:38:23,065
  4653. People love that.
  4654.  
  4655. 1045
  4656. 00:38:23,065 --> 00:38:24,900
  4657. Jimmy Fallon's made
  4658. an entire career off of that.
  4659.  
  4660. 1046
  4661. 00:38:24,900 --> 00:38:27,070
  4662. When I think about school,
  4663. I just think about studying.
  4664.  
  4665. 1047
  4666. 00:38:27,070 --> 00:38:28,672
  4667. No, you did
  4668. so much more than that.
  4669.  
  4670. 1048
  4671. 00:38:28,672 --> 00:38:31,375
  4672. I think your whole 1991
  4673. platform was pretty on-point
  4674.  
  4675. 1049
  4676. 00:38:31,375 --> 00:38:32,708
  4677. when you were running
  4678. for Student Council.
  4679.  
  4680. 1050
  4681. 00:38:32,708 --> 00:38:35,545
  4682. I remember you said,
  4683. "Everyone at this school
  4684.  
  4685. 1051
  4686. 00:38:35,545 --> 00:38:37,748
  4687. "pretends to care
  4688. about the underdog,
  4689.  
  4690. 1052
  4691. 00:38:37,748 --> 00:38:38,914
  4692. "but the planet Earth is
  4693.  
  4694. 1053
  4695. 00:38:38,914 --> 00:38:40,117
  4696. "the biggest underdog
  4697. of them all."
  4698.  
  4699. 1054
  4700. 00:38:40,117 --> 00:38:41,418
  4701. Something like that.
  4702.  
  4703. 1055
  4704. 00:38:41,418 --> 00:38:42,518
  4705. I said that?
  4706.  
  4707. 1056
  4708. 00:38:42,518 --> 00:38:43,920
  4709. Yeah, you did say that.
  4710.  
  4711. 1057
  4712. 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:45,822
  4713. You were in the kitchen,
  4714. making pizza.
  4715.  
  4716. 1058
  4717. 00:38:45,822 --> 00:38:48,625
  4718. We were making signs
  4719. for your election.
  4720.  
  4721. 1059
  4722. 00:38:48,625 --> 00:38:50,860
  4723. And you were
  4724. wearing that shirt.
  4725.  
  4726. 1060
  4727. 00:38:50,860 --> 00:38:52,829
  4728. I don't know if it was
  4729. a strawberry or a flower,
  4730.  
  4731. 1061
  4732. 00:38:52,829 --> 00:38:54,597
  4733. it always confused me.
  4734.  
  4735. 1062
  4736. 00:38:54,597 --> 00:38:55,664
  4737. It was both.
  4738.  
  4739. 1063
  4740. 00:38:55,664 --> 00:38:57,601
  4741. Oh, there you go.
  4742.  
  4743. 1064
  4744. 00:38:57,601 --> 00:38:59,436
  4745. That's all I remember
  4746. about that night, though.
  4747.  
  4748. 1065
  4749. 00:38:59,436 --> 00:39:00,971
  4750. Uh, that's where my memories
  4751.  
  4752. 1066
  4753. 00:39:00,971 --> 00:39:04,474
  4754. concerning that evening
  4755. expire.
  4756.  
  4757. 1067
  4758. 00:39:04,474 --> 00:39:06,943
  4759. I learned a lot
  4760. from that election.
  4761.  
  4762. 1068
  4763. 00:39:06,943 --> 00:39:08,512
  4764. Yeah, that kids are
  4765. probably more likely
  4766.  
  4767. 1069
  4768. 00:39:08,512 --> 00:39:09,913
  4769. to vote for two proms
  4770.  
  4771. 1070
  4772. 00:39:09,913 --> 00:39:12,416
  4773. than a very elaborate
  4774. recycling program.
  4775.  
  4776. 1071
  4777. 00:39:12,416 --> 00:39:13,016
  4778. Not only kids.
  4779.  
  4780. 1072
  4781. 00:39:14,016 --> 00:39:16,952
  4782. Yeah, that's true.
  4783.  
  4784. 1073
  4785. 00:39:16,952 --> 00:39:20,791
  4786. Did you know he asked me out
  4787. to one of those proms?
  4788.  
  4789. 1074
  4790. 00:39:20,791 --> 00:39:21,791
  4791. Bill Sterling?
  4792.  
  4793. 1075
  4794. 00:39:20,791 --> 00:39:21,958
  4795. Yeah.
  4796.  
  4797. 1076
  4798. 00:39:21,958 --> 00:39:23,126
  4799. After he beat you?
  4800.  
  4801. 1077
  4802. 00:39:23,126 --> 00:39:25,126
  4803. Yup.
  4804.  
  4805. 1078
  4806. 00:39:23,126 --> 00:39:25,797
  4807. Prom one or prom two?
  4808.  
  4809. 1079
  4810. 00:39:26,797 --> 00:39:27,797
  4811. Oh!
  4812.  
  4813. 1080
  4814. 00:39:27,797 --> 00:39:30,634
  4815. What a fuckhead!
  4816. You're way better than prom two.
  4817.  
  4818. 1081
  4819. 00:39:31,735 --> 00:39:34,438
  4820. I went to zero proms,
  4821. by the way, for the record.
  4822.  
  4823. 1082
  4824. 00:39:34,438 --> 00:39:36,539
  4825. I think you're the smart one
  4826. in this situation.
  4827.  
  4828. 1083
  4829. 00:39:36,539 --> 00:39:38,641
  4830. Yes, that's why
  4831. I didn't go to prom.
  4832.  
  4833. 1084
  4834. 00:39:38,641 --> 00:39:41,014
  4835. 'Cause I was too smart. Uh...
  4836.  
  4837. 1085
  4838. 00:39:44,014 --> 00:39:46,949
  4839. Cool. I'll get to work on
  4840. that speech stuff.
  4841.  
  4842. 1086
  4843. 00:39:46,949 --> 00:39:47,485
  4844. Great.
  4845.  
  4846. 1087
  4847. 00:39:48,485 --> 00:39:49,552
  4848. Hey, Fred.
  4849.  
  4850. 1088
  4851. 00:39:49,552 --> 00:39:51,521
  4852. Yeah.
  4853.  
  4854. 1089
  4855. 00:39:51,521 --> 00:39:53,824
  4856. You know, if you want to try
  4857. some non-joke stuff,
  4858.  
  4859. 1090
  4860. 00:39:53,824 --> 00:39:54,759
  4861. just go ahead.
  4862.  
  4863. 1091
  4864. 00:39:54,759 --> 00:39:57,760
  4865. Really? Like the main part
  4866. of the speech?
  4867.  
  4868. 1092
  4869. 00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,996
  4870. Yeah. Just write.
  4871.  
  4872. 1093
  4873. 00:40:00,996 --> 00:40:02,233
  4874. Cool. Awesome. Thanks.
  4875.  
  4876. 1094
  4877. 00:40:03,233 --> 00:40:04,400
  4878. If you take another nap,
  4879.  
  4880. 1095
  4881. 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,802
  4882. you should put on, like,
  4883. a bicycle helmet or something.
  4884.  
  4885. 1096
  4886. 00:40:06,802 --> 00:40:08,704
  4887. 'Cause you're gonna tip over,
  4888. there's turbulence.
  4889.  
  4890. 1097
  4891. 00:40:08,704 --> 00:40:10,474
  4892. That's actually
  4893. a really good idea.
  4894.  
  4895. 1098
  4896. 00:40:10,474 --> 00:40:11,608
  4897. It is. I want you
  4898. to be careful.
  4899.  
  4900. 1099
  4901. 00:40:11,608 --> 00:40:12,608
  4902. Yeah.
  4903.  
  4904. 1100
  4905. 00:40:11,608 --> 00:40:12,742
  4906. We need you.
  4907.  
  4908. 1101
  4909. 00:40:29,092 --> 00:40:30,092
  4910. Ambassador.
  4911.  
  4912. 1102
  4913. 00:40:29,092 --> 00:40:30,659
  4914. Welcome to Sweden.
  4915.  
  4916. 1103
  4917. 00:40:30,659 --> 00:40:31,961
  4918. Nice to see you again.
  4919.  
  4920. 1104
  4921. 00:40:31,961 --> 00:40:32,097
  4922. Yeah, you too.
  4923.  
  4924. 1105
  4925. 00:40:35,097 --> 00:40:36,666
  4926. I look forward to seeing you
  4927. tonight at dinner.
  4928.  
  4929. 1106
  4930. 00:40:36,666 --> 00:40:37,766
  4931. Yes.
  4932.  
  4933. 1107
  4934. 00:40:37,766 --> 00:40:39,135
  4935. Uh, Madam Secretary,
  4936.  
  4937. 1108
  4938. 00:40:39,135 --> 00:40:40,503
  4939. I have some ideas
  4940. I wanna throw by you.
  4941.  
  4942. 1109
  4943. 00:40:40,503 --> 00:40:41,704
  4944. Yeah, soon, Fred.
  4945.  
  4946. 1110
  4947. 00:40:41,704 --> 00:40:42,938
  4948. Tom, do you have the schedule?
  4949.  
  4950. 1111
  4951. 00:40:42,938 --> 00:40:44,938
  4952. Yes, of course, ma'am.
  4953.  
  4954. 1112
  4955. 00:40:42,938 --> 00:40:44,710
  4956. All right.
  4957.  
  4958. 1113
  4959. 00:40:47,710 --> 00:40:48,579
  4960. In the back, Flarsky!
  4961.  
  4962. 1114
  4963. 00:40:50,579 --> 00:40:51,981
  4964. Then at 8:15, you have
  4965. a fitting for tonight's gala.
  4966.  
  4967. 1115
  4968. 00:40:51,981 --> 00:40:54,918
  4969. Then at 8:45, a call with
  4970. Iraqi Prime Minister Masum,
  4971.  
  4972. 1116
  4973. 00:40:54,918 --> 00:40:56,987
  4974. 9:15, a call
  4975. to Brazilian President Temer
  4976.  
  4977. 1117
  4978. 00:40:56,987 --> 00:40:58,155
  4979. about deforestation issues.
  4980.  
  4981. 1118
  4982. 00:40:58,155 --> 00:41:01,557
  4983. 2:15, you have a call with
  4984. U.K. Foreign Secretary Green
  4985.  
  4986. 1119
  4987. 00:41:01,557 --> 00:41:03,760
  4988. to discuss your tour
  4989. of Scotland in a few weeks.
  4990.  
  4991. 1120
  4992. 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:05,929
  4993. 2:25, then you have
  4994. a call with<i> New York Times</i>
  4995.  
  4996. 1121
  4997. 00:41:05,929 --> 00:41:08,164
  4998. to comment on POTUS'
  4999. latest Instagram attack
  5000.  
  5001. 1122
  5002. 00:41:08,164 --> 00:41:10,534
  5003. on Prime Minister Bharath
  5004. of Kashtar.
  5005.  
  5006. 1123
  5007. 00:41:10,534 --> 00:41:11,601
  5008. At 5:45,
  5009. we're meeting with the head
  5010.  
  5011. 1124
  5012. 00:41:11,601 --> 00:41:12,668
  5013. of Sweden's
  5014. Diplomatic Protocol,
  5015.  
  5016. 1125
  5017. 00:41:12,668 --> 00:41:15,605
  5018. Ingrid Minervudottir,
  5019. to discuss tonight's schedule.
  5020.  
  5021. 1126
  5022. 00:41:15,605 --> 00:41:16,907
  5023. Okay. And then after that?
  5024.  
  5025. 1127
  5026. 00:41:16,907 --> 00:41:18,208
  5027. Also, Parker Wembley
  5028. keeps trying to get
  5029.  
  5030. 1128
  5031. 00:41:18,208 --> 00:41:19,208
  5032. some face time with you.
  5033.  
  5034. 1129
  5035. 00:41:18,208 --> 00:41:19,708
  5036. Oh, God.
  5037.  
  5038. 1130
  5039. 00:41:19,708 --> 00:41:21,945
  5040. Parker can wait.
  5041. Okay, Fred. Go.
  5042.  
  5043. 1131
  5044. 00:41:21,945 --> 00:41:23,914
  5045. Yeah, sure. Um...
  5046.  
  5047. 1132
  5048. 00:41:23,914 --> 00:41:26,048
  5049. So, uh, you know,
  5050.  
  5051. 1133
  5052. 00:41:26,048 --> 00:41:27,884
  5053. based on what we were
  5054. talking about last night,
  5055.  
  5056. 1134
  5057. 00:41:27,884 --> 00:41:30,753
  5058. I just took a stab at
  5059. the whole speech, basically.
  5060.  
  5061. 1135
  5062. 00:41:30,753 --> 00:41:32,688
  5063. That's good.
  5064.  
  5065. 1136
  5066. 00:41:32,688 --> 00:41:35,688
  5067. Thank you.
  5068.  
  5069. 1137
  5070. 00:41:32,688 --> 00:41:35,257
  5071. This part isn't.
  5072.  
  5073. 1138
  5074. 00:41:35,257 --> 00:41:37,827
  5075. Okay, well, you said
  5076. you didn't want to sound
  5077. too angry.
  5078.  
  5079. 1139
  5080. 00:41:37,827 --> 00:41:40,262
  5081. I also don't want to sound
  5082. like I have a head injury.
  5083.  
  5084. 1140
  5085. 00:41:40,262 --> 00:41:41,965
  5086. Okay. Uh,
  5087. I'll go change it.
  5088.  
  5089. 1141
  5090. 00:41:41,965 --> 00:41:43,333
  5091. Great. Thanks.
  5092.  
  5093. 1142
  5094. 00:41:43,333 --> 00:41:45,568
  5095. Okay, here we go.
  5096.  
  5097. 1143
  5098. 00:41:45,568 --> 00:41:46,969
  5099. So...
  5100.  
  5101. 1144
  5102. 00:41:46,969 --> 00:41:48,639
  5103. All right.
  5104.  
  5105. 1145
  5106. 00:41:49,639 --> 00:41:50,739
  5107. Fred.
  5108.  
  5109. 1146
  5110. 00:41:50,739 --> 00:41:52,175
  5111. Yeah?
  5112.  
  5113. 1147
  5114. 00:41:52,175 --> 00:41:54,815
  5115. Do you have any grown-up
  5116. clothes to wear tonight?
  5117.  
  5118. 1148
  5119. 00:41:58,815 --> 00:41:59,815
  5120. I was gonna...
  5121. I was thinking
  5122.  
  5123. 1149
  5124. 00:41:59,815 --> 00:42:02,085
  5125. of zipping this up
  5126. all the way, like to here.
  5127.  
  5128. 1150
  5129. 00:42:02,085 --> 00:42:02,085
  5130. That's kind of
  5131. a little more...
  5132.  
  5133. 1151
  5134. 00:42:02,985 --> 00:42:04,654
  5135. It's, like,
  5136. slightly more buttoned up.
  5137.  
  5138. 1152
  5139. 00:42:04,654 --> 00:42:05,688
  5140. You know what,
  5141. Madam Secretary,
  5142.  
  5143. 1153
  5144. 00:42:05,688 --> 00:42:09,726
  5145. I would be delighted
  5146. to dress Fred for tonight.
  5147.  
  5148. 1154
  5149. 00:42:09,726 --> 00:42:10,994
  5150. Thank you, Maggie.
  5151. I'd be thrilled
  5152.  
  5153. 1155
  5154. 00:42:10,994 --> 00:42:13,228
  5155. to have you dress me
  5156. for tonight's event.
  5157.  
  5158. 1156
  5159. 00:42:13,228 --> 00:42:14,329
  5160. What a fun adventure.
  5161.  
  5162. 1157
  5163. 00:42:14,329 --> 00:42:16,666
  5164. Get a little makeover.
  5165. All right, have a good one.
  5166.  
  5167. 1158
  5168. 00:42:16,666 --> 00:42:17,867
  5169. Thank you, Fred.
  5170.  
  5171. 1159
  5172. 00:42:17,867 --> 00:42:18,768
  5173. Why, thank you.
  5174.  
  5175. 1160
  5176. 00:42:18,768 --> 00:42:20,070
  5177. ...and then
  5178. it's saying hello,
  5179.  
  5180. 1161
  5181. 00:42:20,070 --> 00:42:21,204
  5182. you'll sit down,
  5183. we'll have dinner,
  5184.  
  5185. 1162
  5186. 00:42:21,204 --> 00:42:22,204
  5187. I'll pull you up...
  5188.  
  5189. 1163
  5190. 00:42:21,204 --> 00:42:22,606
  5191. Where's Flarsky?
  5192.  
  5193. 1164
  5194. 00:42:22,606 --> 00:42:23,706
  5195. Why are we waiting?
  5196.  
  5197. 1165
  5198. 00:42:23,706 --> 00:42:25,307
  5199. What, is he doing his hair?
  5200.  
  5201. 1166
  5202. 00:42:25,307 --> 00:42:26,309
  5203. Um...
  5204.  
  5205. 1167
  5206. 00:42:27,309 --> 00:42:29,079
  5207. Oh.
  5208.  
  5209. 1168
  5210. 00:42:29,079 --> 00:42:31,079
  5211. What the...
  5212.  
  5213. 1169
  5214. 00:42:35,885 --> 00:42:37,186
  5215. What the fuck
  5216. are you wearing?
  5217.  
  5218. 1170
  5219. 00:42:37,186 --> 00:42:39,222
  5220. She bought me
  5221. this shit. Okay?
  5222.  
  5223. 1171
  5224. 00:42:39,222 --> 00:42:40,023
  5225. It's a traditional
  5226. Swedish suit.
  5227.  
  5228. 1172
  5229. 00:42:41,023 --> 00:42:43,827
  5230. I don't see another
  5231. fucking Swede up in here
  5232.  
  5233. 1173
  5234. 00:42:43,827 --> 00:42:45,128
  5235. dressed like this.
  5236.  
  5237. 1174
  5238. 00:42:45,128 --> 00:42:47,329
  5239. It's all I could do
  5240. on such short notice.
  5241.  
  5242. 1175
  5243. 00:42:47,329 --> 00:42:49,000
  5244. You just take the jacket off,
  5245. it's going to make it better.
  5246.  
  5247. 1176
  5248. 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,172
  5249. It's just...
  5250. Make it look...
  5251. Oh, my God.
  5252.  
  5253. 1177
  5254. 00:42:56,172 --> 00:42:57,007
  5255. Better with
  5256. the jacket on? Great.
  5257.  
  5258. 1178
  5259. 00:42:58,007 --> 00:42:59,010
  5260. Razzing the new guy, I get it.
  5261. Fuck you, Maggie.
  5262.  
  5263. 1179
  5264. 00:43:00,010 --> 00:43:01,143
  5265. Calm the Smurf down.
  5266.  
  5267. 1180
  5268. 00:43:01,143 --> 00:43:02,983
  5269. Bring a fucking suit
  5270. next time.
  5271.  
  5272. 1181
  5273. 00:43:08,217 --> 00:43:09,284
  5274. Do you like the speech?
  5275.  
  5276. 1182
  5277. 00:43:09,284 --> 00:43:10,452
  5278. Yes, the speech is good.
  5279.  
  5280. 1183
  5281. 00:43:10,452 --> 00:43:12,956
  5282. Oh, you're going to have to
  5283. stay way back there, Fred.
  5284.  
  5285. 1184
  5286. 00:43:12,956 --> 00:43:14,724
  5287. Just stay back, Flarsky.
  5288. Okay? She's got to focus.
  5289.  
  5290. 1185
  5291. 00:43:14,724 --> 00:43:15,791
  5292. On what?
  5293.  
  5294. 1186
  5295. 00:43:15,791 --> 00:43:16,992
  5296. Getting India and China
  5297. to agree
  5298.  
  5299. 1187
  5300. 00:43:16,992 --> 00:43:18,061
  5301. to be a part
  5302. of this initiative.
  5303.  
  5304. 1188
  5305. 00:43:18,061 --> 00:43:20,396
  5306. They haven't even agreed
  5307. to be a part of it yet?
  5308.  
  5309. 1189
  5310. 00:43:20,396 --> 00:43:22,831
  5311. They will, we just have to
  5312. sort out a few details.
  5313.  
  5314. 1190
  5315. 00:43:22,831 --> 00:43:23,932
  5316. We just wrote
  5317. a whole speech
  5318.  
  5319. 1191
  5320. 00:43:23,932 --> 00:43:25,101
  5321. about how
  5322. they're on-board already.
  5323.  
  5324. 1192
  5325. 00:43:25,101 --> 00:43:26,302
  5326. Don't worry, Fred.
  5327.  
  5328. 1193
  5329. 00:43:27,302 --> 00:43:29,072
  5330. You just stay here
  5331. and make sure
  5332.  
  5333. 1194
  5334. 00:43:29,072 --> 00:43:32,275
  5335. nobody from<i> Candy Land</i>
  5336. needs their car parked, okay?
  5337.  
  5338. 1195
  5339. 00:43:32,275 --> 00:43:33,677
  5340. I don't know
  5341. why you needed a writer.
  5342.  
  5343. 1196
  5344. 00:43:33,677 --> 00:43:34,844
  5345. Those are sick burns.
  5346.  
  5347. 1197
  5348. 00:43:36,246 --> 00:43:38,748
  5349. Secretary of State
  5350. Charlotte Field
  5351.  
  5352. 1198
  5353. 00:43:38,748 --> 00:43:40,152
  5354. of the United States
  5355. of America.
  5356.  
  5357. 1199
  5358. 00:43:43,152 --> 00:43:44,021
  5359. Your Majesty.
  5360. Your Highness.
  5361.  
  5362. 1200
  5363. 00:43:45,021 --> 00:43:46,021
  5364. Your Highness.
  5365.  
  5366. 1201
  5367. 00:43:45,021 --> 00:43:46,327
  5368. Pleasure.
  5369.  
  5370. 1202
  5371. 00:43:52,327 --> 00:43:53,032
  5372. Oh.
  5373.  
  5374. 1203
  5375. 00:43:56,032 --> 00:43:58,400
  5376. No, thank you.
  5377. I'm working right now.
  5378.  
  5379. 1204
  5380. 00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,438
  5381. And you know you are, too.
  5382.  
  5383. 1205
  5384. 00:44:01,438 --> 00:44:02,572
  5385. I do know that.
  5386.  
  5387. 1206
  5388. 00:44:02,572 --> 00:44:04,974
  5389. But you dressed me like
  5390. Cap'n Crunch's Grindr date,
  5391.  
  5392. 1207
  5393. 00:44:04,974 --> 00:44:07,277
  5394. so I'm going to drink
  5395. to make you uncomfortable.
  5396.  
  5397. 1208
  5398. 00:44:07,277 --> 00:44:09,313
  5399. Honestly, Fred, your entire
  5400. life makes me uncomfortable.
  5401.  
  5402. 1209
  5403. 00:44:12,882 --> 00:44:14,317
  5404. Oh no, fuck me.
  5405.  
  5406. 1210
  5407. 00:44:16,820 --> 00:44:18,820
  5408. Yes.
  5409.  
  5410. 1211
  5411. 00:44:18,454 --> 00:44:22,057
  5412. We both shop in the same
  5413. mystical village, I see.
  5414.  
  5415. 1212
  5416. 00:44:22,057 --> 00:44:24,460
  5417. Yes, you look great.
  5418.  
  5419. 1213
  5420. 00:44:24,460 --> 00:44:25,460
  5421. Congratulations.
  5422.  
  5423. 1214
  5424. 00:44:24,460 --> 00:44:25,829
  5425. <i> Skal.</i>
  5426.  
  5427. 1215
  5428. 00:44:25,829 --> 00:44:27,396
  5429. <i> Skal. Skal</i> to you, too.
  5430.  
  5431. 1216
  5432. 00:44:27,396 --> 00:44:30,402
  5433. Yes.
  5434.  
  5435. 1217
  5436. 00:44:32,402 --> 00:44:33,005
  5437. Jesus.
  5438.  
  5439. 1218
  5440. 00:44:36,005 --> 00:44:38,007
  5441. Hey, we're making
  5442. a few revisions to the speech.
  5443.  
  5444. 1219
  5445. 00:44:39,007 --> 00:44:39,009
  5446. What?
  5447.  
  5448. 1220
  5449. 00:44:40,009 --> 00:44:42,177
  5450. So we're losing the "Seas" part,
  5451. so go cut that,
  5452.  
  5453. 1221
  5454. 00:44:42,177 --> 00:44:44,146
  5455. and then brainstorm
  5456. a couple of other funny lines
  5457.  
  5458. 1222
  5459. 00:44:44,146 --> 00:44:45,248
  5460. for the "Trees" section, okay?
  5461.  
  5462. 1223
  5463. 00:44:45,248 --> 00:44:46,483
  5464. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
  5465.  
  5466. 1224
  5467. 00:44:46,483 --> 00:44:49,152
  5468. Losing the Seas part, why?
  5469.  
  5470. 1225
  5471. 00:44:49,152 --> 00:44:50,519
  5472. Because India wouldn't go
  5473. for it. So we had to pivot.
  5474.  
  5475. 1226
  5476. 00:44:50,519 --> 00:44:53,322
  5477. That's not a pivot,
  5478. that's a third of
  5479. the whole fucking shit.
  5480.  
  5481. 1227
  5482. 00:44:53,322 --> 00:44:55,791
  5483. Are you kidding me?
  5484. That's it, it's just gone?
  5485.  
  5486. 1228
  5487. 00:44:55,791 --> 00:44:56,893
  5488. Yeah, it's gone.
  5489.  
  5490. 1229
  5491. 00:44:56,893 --> 00:44:57,860
  5492. And there's nothing
  5493. we can do?
  5494.  
  5495. 1230
  5496. 00:44:57,860 --> 00:44:58,961
  5497. No. And you don't
  5498. have to worry about it.
  5499.  
  5500. 1231
  5501. 00:44:58,961 --> 00:45:02,998
  5502. Just go over to the computer.
  5503. Start typey-typing.
  5504.  
  5505. 1232
  5506. 00:45:02,998 --> 00:45:04,001
  5507. Well, no.
  5508.  
  5509. 1233
  5510. 00:45:05,001 --> 00:45:06,503
  5511. I'm not gonna do that.
  5512.  
  5513. 1234
  5514. 00:45:06,503 --> 00:45:08,404
  5515. So you quit,
  5516. resignation accepted.
  5517.  
  5518. 1235
  5519. 00:45:08,404 --> 00:45:09,972
  5520. I will rewrite the speech.
  5521.  
  5522. 1236
  5523. 00:45:09,972 --> 00:45:11,074
  5524. Oh, the fuck you will!
  5525.  
  5526. 1237
  5527. 00:45:11,074 --> 00:45:12,275
  5528. What the fuck?
  5529.  
  5530. 1238
  5531. 00:45:21,985 --> 00:45:23,985
  5532. You don't...
  5533.  
  5534. 1239
  5535. 00:45:21,985 --> 00:45:23,157
  5536. Let go!
  5537.  
  5538. 1240
  5539. 00:45:31,494 --> 00:45:32,594
  5540. Look out. Excuse me!
  5541.  
  5542. 1241
  5543. 00:45:32,594 --> 00:45:34,297
  5544. Stop running!
  5545. Stop running! Stop running!
  5546.  
  5547. 1242
  5548. 00:45:34,297 --> 00:45:35,398
  5549. Fred, stop running!
  5550.  
  5551. 1243
  5552. 00:45:38,067 --> 00:45:39,902
  5553. Fred...
  5554.  
  5555. 1244
  5556. 00:45:44,139 --> 00:45:45,208
  5557. Why did you do that?
  5558.  
  5559. 1245
  5560. 00:45:45,208 --> 00:45:47,143
  5561. Because I will not
  5562. have you damage
  5563.  
  5564. 1246
  5565. 00:45:47,143 --> 00:45:48,478
  5566. the integrity of my writing!
  5567.  
  5568. 1247
  5569. 00:45:48,478 --> 00:45:50,480
  5570. The integrity of your writing?
  5571.  
  5572. 1248
  5573. 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,016
  5574. You're a punch-up writer,
  5575. you're not Maya Angelou!
  5576.  
  5577. 1249
  5578. 00:45:53,016 --> 00:45:54,516
  5579. What is going on?
  5580.  
  5581. 1250
  5582. 00:45:54,516 --> 00:45:56,219
  5583. What's going on
  5584. with you, bruh?
  5585.  
  5586. 1251
  5587. 00:45:56,219 --> 00:45:57,253
  5588. Did you just
  5589. call me "bruh"?
  5590.  
  5591. 1252
  5592. 00:45:57,253 --> 00:45:59,253
  5593. She's the secretary
  5594. of state.
  5595.  
  5596. 1253
  5597. 00:45:57,253 --> 00:45:59,023
  5598. Is he high?
  5599.  
  5600. 1254
  5601. 00:46:00,023 --> 00:46:02,224
  5602. He is wasted,
  5603. but he's also just stupid.
  5604.  
  5605. 1255
  5606. 00:46:02,224 --> 00:46:03,596
  5607. Meet me in the conference
  5608. room, I'll handle this.
  5609.  
  5610. 1256
  5611. 00:46:06,596 --> 00:46:08,130
  5612. What's the deal, Fred?
  5613.  
  5614. 1257
  5615. 00:46:08,130 --> 00:46:10,934
  5616. What's the deal?
  5617. What's the deal?
  5618. What are...
  5619.  
  5620. 1258
  5621. 00:46:10,934 --> 00:46:12,902
  5622. The only reason I'm here
  5623. is 'cause you told me
  5624.  
  5625. 1259
  5626. 00:46:12,902 --> 00:46:14,204
  5627. you cared about this shit,
  5628.  
  5629. 1260
  5630. 00:46:14,204 --> 00:46:16,472
  5631. and in the time I come
  5632. out here to have a smoke,
  5633.  
  5634. 1261
  5635. 00:46:16,472 --> 00:46:19,309
  5636. you fucking got rid of
  5637. a massive element
  5638. of the whole thing.
  5639.  
  5640. 1262
  5641. 00:46:19,309 --> 00:46:22,612
  5642. I got two out of three.
  5643. I only lost one.
  5644.  
  5645. 1263
  5646. 00:46:22,612 --> 00:46:25,849
  5647. That one was the seas.
  5648.  
  5649. 1264
  5650. 00:46:25,849 --> 00:46:28,284
  5651. It covers 75% of the planet!
  5652.  
  5653. 1265
  5654. 00:46:28,284 --> 00:46:30,284
  5655. It's a pretty big one!
  5656.  
  5657. 1266
  5658. 00:46:28,284 --> 00:46:30,219
  5659. Bring down your voice.
  5660.  
  5661. 1267
  5662. 00:46:30,219 --> 00:46:31,320
  5663. You know why I'm upset?
  5664.  
  5665. 1268
  5666. 00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:33,422
  5667. This is exactly what I thought
  5668. was going to happen.
  5669.  
  5670. 1269
  5671. 00:46:33,422 --> 00:46:35,557
  5672. And I even said it.
  5673. I said it in your office.
  5674.  
  5675. 1270
  5676. 00:46:35,557 --> 00:46:38,327
  5677. I don't want to write
  5678. for some bullshit politician.
  5679.  
  5680. 1271
  5681. 00:46:38,327 --> 00:46:39,596
  5682. I wanted to write for you.
  5683.  
  5684. 1272
  5685. 00:46:39,596 --> 00:46:41,331
  5686. Because I thought you cared
  5687. about this shit.
  5688.  
  5689. 1273
  5690. 00:46:41,331 --> 00:46:44,132
  5691. Until you're running the game,
  5692. you have to play the game.
  5693.  
  5694. 1274
  5695. 00:46:44,132 --> 00:46:46,068
  5696. Well, then, by the time
  5697. you win the game,
  5698.  
  5699. 1275
  5700. 00:46:46,068 --> 00:46:49,204
  5701. you don't know who's scoring
  5702. touchdowns on whose nets,
  5703.  
  5704. 1276
  5705. 00:46:49,204 --> 00:46:51,074
  5706. and you don't know
  5707. who's hitting home runs
  5708.  
  5709. 1277
  5710. 00:46:51,074 --> 00:46:52,541
  5711. in whose fucking end zones!
  5712.  
  5713. 1278
  5714. 00:46:52,541 --> 00:46:54,541
  5715. What are you talking about?
  5716.  
  5717. 1279
  5718. 00:46:52,541 --> 00:46:54,110
  5719. I don't know sports.
  5720.  
  5721. 1280
  5722. 00:46:54,110 --> 00:46:55,344
  5723. Let me try it with food.
  5724.  
  5725. 1281
  5726. 00:46:55,344 --> 00:46:57,614
  5727. You wanna open a restaurant.
  5728. But all you got is chopsticks.
  5729.  
  5730. 1282
  5731. 00:46:57,614 --> 00:47:00,315
  5732. No! I don't have time
  5733. for this, okay?
  5734.  
  5735. 1283
  5736. 00:47:00,315 --> 00:47:02,018
  5737. If you want to quit,
  5738. then just fucking quit.
  5739.  
  5740. 1284
  5741. 00:47:03,018 --> 00:47:04,018
  5742. I don't give a shit.
  5743.  
  5744. 1285
  5745. 00:47:03,018 --> 00:47:04,887
  5746. Yeah, you don't give a shit.
  5747.  
  5748. 1286
  5749. 00:47:04,887 --> 00:47:05,887
  5750. No, I don't.
  5751.  
  5752. 1287
  5753. 00:47:04,887 --> 00:47:05,922
  5754. You used to fucking
  5755. give a shit,
  5756.  
  5757. 1288
  5758. 00:47:05,922 --> 00:47:08,157
  5759. but now you don't
  5760. give a shit about anything.
  5761.  
  5762. 1289
  5763. 00:47:08,157 --> 00:47:09,893
  5764. You cared more
  5765. about recycling
  5766. in high school
  5767.  
  5768. 1290
  5769. 00:47:09,893 --> 00:47:11,195
  5770. than you do this shit and it's
  5771. very disappointing to me.
  5772.  
  5773. 1291
  5774. 00:47:13,195 --> 00:47:15,498
  5775. Fuck this.
  5776. I've got a speech to give.
  5777.  
  5778. 1292
  5779. 00:47:15,498 --> 00:47:16,666
  5780. Oh, yeah, good luck
  5781. giving it,
  5782.  
  5783. 1293
  5784. 00:47:16,666 --> 00:47:17,001
  5785. it's on my computer
  5786. in the snow.
  5787.  
  5788. 1294
  5789. 00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:19,501
  5790. I have copies, you idiot.
  5791.  
  5792. 1295
  5793. 00:47:19,501 --> 00:47:21,972
  5794. You just threw your computer
  5795. in the snow, that's it.
  5796.  
  5797. 1296
  5798. 00:47:22,972 --> 00:47:25,409
  5799. Oh, no! Shit!
  5800.  
  5801. 1297
  5802. 00:47:26,409 --> 00:47:28,478
  5803. Oh, God damn it!
  5804.  
  5805. 1298
  5806. 00:47:28,478 --> 00:47:31,213
  5807. It's soaked!
  5808. I need a bowl of rice!
  5809.  
  5810. 1299
  5811. 00:47:31,213 --> 00:47:32,284
  5812. I need a big bowl of rice!
  5813.  
  5814. 1300
  5815. 00:47:34,284 --> 00:47:37,519
  5816. God damn it! Why didn't I
  5817. back this thing up?
  5818.  
  5819. 1301
  5820. 00:47:37,519 --> 00:47:39,431
  5821. All my shit's on here.
  5822.  
  5823. 1302
  5824. 00:47:49,431 --> 00:47:50,637
  5825. Fred. Look.
  5826.  
  5827. 1303
  5828. 00:47:54,637 --> 00:47:55,708
  5829. Wow.
  5830.  
  5831. 1304
  5832. 00:47:59,708 --> 00:48:01,246
  5833. I've never seen
  5834. anything like that.
  5835.  
  5836. 1305
  5837. 00:48:04,246 --> 00:48:05,182
  5838. No, I...
  5839.  
  5840. 1306
  5841. 00:48:06,182 --> 00:48:08,418
  5842. I've seen pictures of it,
  5843. but I never...
  5844.  
  5845. 1307
  5846. 00:48:09,418 --> 00:48:10,355
  5847. ...actually...
  5848.  
  5849. 1308
  5850. 00:48:12,355 --> 00:48:14,425
  5851. I never saw it.
  5852.  
  5853. 1309
  5854. 00:48:15,425 --> 00:48:17,994
  5855. Are you crying right now?
  5856.  
  5857. 1310
  5858. 00:48:17,994 --> 00:48:18,498
  5859. It's pretty.
  5860.  
  5861. 1311
  5862. 00:48:23,498 --> 00:48:24,070
  5863. Yeah.
  5864.  
  5865. 1312
  5866. 00:48:27,070 --> 00:48:28,503
  5867. Fred?
  5868.  
  5869. 1313
  5870. 00:48:28,503 --> 00:48:29,007
  5871. Yeah?
  5872.  
  5873. 1314
  5874. 00:48:31,007 --> 00:48:33,242
  5875. If you ever pull
  5876. some shit like that again,
  5877.  
  5878. 1315
  5879. 00:48:33,242 --> 00:48:34,079
  5880. I'll have you thrown in Gitmo.
  5881.  
  5882. 1316
  5883. 00:48:37,079 --> 00:48:38,682
  5884. Yes, Madam Secretary.
  5885. I'm sorry.
  5886.  
  5887. 1317
  5888. 00:48:40,682 --> 00:48:43,989
  5889. You better hope this fucking
  5890. speech goes over well.
  5891.  
  5892. 1318
  5893. 00:48:45,989 --> 00:48:50,193
  5894. I've often gravitated
  5895. toward the underdog.
  5896.  
  5897. 1319
  5898. 00:48:50,193 --> 00:48:54,630
  5899. The band of misfits who fight
  5900. back against the bullies.
  5901.  
  5902. 1320
  5903. 00:48:54,630 --> 00:48:57,235
  5904. In high school, I would talk
  5905. about the underdog a lot.
  5906.  
  5907. 1321
  5908. 00:48:59,235 --> 00:49:02,038
  5909. And I would often find myself
  5910. on a soapbox,
  5911.  
  5912. 1322
  5913. 00:49:02,038 --> 00:49:05,510
  5914. rambling on and on about
  5915. the injustices of the world.
  5916.  
  5917. 1323
  5918. 00:49:08,510 --> 00:49:11,079
  5919. Which makes you
  5920. extremely popular,
  5921.  
  5922. 1324
  5923. 00:49:11,079 --> 00:49:13,583
  5924. especially when everybody
  5925. would rather be watching
  5926.  
  5927. 1325
  5928. 00:49:13,583 --> 00:49:15,650
  5929. <i>Beverly Hills, 90210.</i>
  5930.  
  5931. 1326
  5932. 00:49:19,688 --> 00:49:22,358
  5933. But that is why I am happy
  5934. to announce
  5935.  
  5936. 1327
  5937. 00:49:22,358 --> 00:49:25,628
  5938. an initiative that would make
  5939. my 16-year-old self proud.
  5940.  
  5941. 1328
  5942. 00:49:25,628 --> 00:49:28,130
  5943. <i> In what is now being dubbed
  5944. "The Underdog Speech,"</i>
  5945.  
  5946. 1329
  5947. 00:49:28,130 --> 00:49:30,400
  5948. <i> the secretary of state
  5949. opened up about her childhood</i>
  5950.  
  5951. 1330
  5952. 00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:31,701
  5953. <i> and passion
  5954. for the environment</i>
  5955.  
  5956. 1331
  5957. 00:49:31,701 --> 00:49:34,302
  5958. <i> by announcing
  5959. a bold new initiative...</i>
  5960.  
  5961. 1332
  5962. 00:49:34,302 --> 00:49:37,407
  5963. <i> ...turns out she has always
  5964. been an Andrea Zuckerman</i>
  5965.  
  5966. 1333
  5967. 00:49:37,407 --> 00:49:39,443
  5968. <i> in the body of a Kelly Taylor.</i>
  5969.  
  5970. 1334
  5971. 00:49:41,443 --> 00:49:43,443
  5972. Hey.
  5973.  
  5974. 1335
  5975. 00:49:41,443 --> 00:49:43,414
  5976. Hi.
  5977.  
  5978. 1336
  5979. 00:49:44,414 --> 00:49:46,114
  5980. Oh, wow, you shaved your neck.
  5981.  
  5982. 1337
  5983. 00:49:46,114 --> 00:49:47,382
  5984. I did. I cleaned it up.
  5985.  
  5986. 1338
  5987. 00:49:47,382 --> 00:49:49,585
  5988. Got my whole back.
  5989. Went all the way down.
  5990.  
  5991. 1339
  5992. 00:49:49,585 --> 00:49:50,719
  5993. Looks good.
  5994.  
  5995. 1340
  5996. 00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:52,588
  5997. Trying to make a good
  5998. impression, I guess, anyway...
  5999.  
  6000. 1341
  6001. 00:49:52,588 --> 00:49:54,657
  6002. I, uh...
  6003.  
  6004. 1342
  6005. 00:49:54,657 --> 00:49:58,161
  6006. I just wanted to apologize
  6007. to you, again,
  6008.  
  6009. 1343
  6010. 00:49:58,161 --> 00:50:01,496
  6011. for acting a little crazy,
  6012. you know.
  6013.  
  6014. 1344
  6015. 00:50:01,496 --> 00:50:03,166
  6016. I'm gonna...
  6017.  
  6018. 1345
  6019. 00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:04,400
  6020. I'm going to really try
  6021. to tone it down
  6022.  
  6023. 1346
  6024. 00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:08,438
  6025. and not, you know, make you
  6026. risk global, uh, humiliation.
  6027.  
  6028. 1347
  6029. 00:50:08,438 --> 00:50:09,172
  6030. Good. Great.
  6031.  
  6032. 1348
  6033. 00:50:10,172 --> 00:50:11,306
  6034. Also.
  6035.  
  6036. 1349
  6037. 00:50:11,306 --> 00:50:12,842
  6038. I googled speech writing
  6039.  
  6040. 1350
  6041. 00:50:12,842 --> 00:50:14,643
  6042. and it was
  6043. actually very informative.
  6044.  
  6045. 1351
  6046. 00:50:14,643 --> 00:50:15,612
  6047. What I learned
  6048.  
  6049. 1352
  6050. 00:50:15,612 --> 00:50:16,913
  6051. was that in order to write
  6052. better for you,
  6053.  
  6054. 1353
  6055. 00:50:16,913 --> 00:50:20,349
  6056. I should kinda
  6057. get to know you better
  6058. and get in your head,
  6059.  
  6060. 1354
  6061. 00:50:20,349 --> 00:50:21,483
  6062. and everything
  6063. I already know about you,
  6064.  
  6065. 1355
  6066. 00:50:21,483 --> 00:50:22,684
  6067. I kinda used
  6068. on the first speech.
  6069.  
  6070. 1356
  6071. 00:50:22,684 --> 00:50:24,152
  6072. So, what I did
  6073.  
  6074. 1357
  6075. 00:50:24,152 --> 00:50:25,554
  6076. was I wrote a ton of questions
  6077.  
  6078. 1358
  6079. 00:50:25,554 --> 00:50:27,322
  6080. that will maybe help me
  6081. capture your voice,
  6082.  
  6083. 1359
  6084. 00:50:27,322 --> 00:50:28,623
  6085. if you have a minute.
  6086.  
  6087. 1360
  6088. 00:50:28,623 --> 00:50:30,492
  6089. I actually have seven.
  6090.  
  6091. 1361
  6092. 00:50:30,492 --> 00:50:32,661
  6093. Seven. Okay, great.
  6094. Yeah. I'll take it.
  6095.  
  6096. 1362
  6097. 00:50:32,661 --> 00:50:34,661
  6098. All right.
  6099.  
  6100. 1363
  6101. 00:50:32,661 --> 00:50:34,163
  6102. Seven minutes in heaven.
  6103.  
  6104. 1364
  6105. 00:50:34,163 --> 00:50:35,498
  6106. Um...
  6107.  
  6108. 1365
  6109. 00:50:35,498 --> 00:50:37,498
  6110. Okay.
  6111.  
  6112. 1366
  6113. 00:50:35,498 --> 00:50:37,467
  6114. So. Ah... I guess...
  6115.  
  6116. 1367
  6117. 00:50:37,467 --> 00:50:38,634
  6118. Just like...
  6119. What are you into?
  6120.  
  6121. 1368
  6122. 00:50:38,634 --> 00:50:39,835
  6123. What kind of shit you into?
  6124.  
  6125. 1369
  6126. 00:50:39,835 --> 00:50:41,704
  6127. Well, this is
  6128. pretty much it.
  6129.  
  6130. 1370
  6131. 00:50:41,704 --> 00:50:43,505
  6132. I mean,
  6133. secretary of state stuff.
  6134.  
  6135. 1371
  6136. 00:50:43,505 --> 00:50:45,807
  6137. Do you have any hobbies?
  6138. Anything? Do you watch TV?
  6139.  
  6140. 1372
  6141. 00:50:45,807 --> 00:50:47,443
  6142. Do you watch<i> Game of Thrones</i>
  6143. or anything like that?
  6144.  
  6145. 1373
  6146. 00:50:47,443 --> 00:50:49,144
  6147. Oh, I'm fully aware
  6148. of what happened
  6149.  
  6150. 1374
  6151. 00:50:49,144 --> 00:50:50,646
  6152. in every season
  6153. of<i> Game of Thrones.</i>
  6154.  
  6155. 1375
  6156. 00:50:50,646 --> 00:50:52,481
  6157. Because you watch it?
  6158.  
  6159. 1376
  6160. 00:50:52,481 --> 00:50:54,617
  6161. Because I read synopses
  6162. on every episode.
  6163.  
  6164. 1377
  6165. 00:50:54,617 --> 00:50:56,284
  6166. That can't actually work.
  6167.  
  6168. 1378
  6169. 00:50:56,284 --> 00:50:58,186
  6170. I couldn't believe
  6171. when Khaleesi's dragon
  6172.  
  6173. 1379
  6174. 00:50:58,186 --> 00:50:59,222
  6175. came back as a White Walker.
  6176.  
  6177. 1380
  6178. 00:51:00,222 --> 00:51:01,523
  6179. Whoa!
  6180.  
  6181. 1381
  6182. 00:51:01,523 --> 00:51:02,523
  6183. See?
  6184.  
  6185. 1382
  6186. 00:51:01,523 --> 00:51:02,625
  6187. What about movies?
  6188.  
  6189. 1383
  6190. 00:51:02,625 --> 00:51:03,893
  6191. Do you watch movies?
  6192.  
  6193. 1384
  6194. 00:51:03,893 --> 00:51:06,161
  6195. Synopses of all
  6196. the award contenders.
  6197.  
  6198. 1385
  6199. 00:51:06,161 --> 00:51:07,496
  6200. You used to love movies!
  6201.  
  6202. 1386
  6203. 00:51:07,496 --> 00:51:09,599
  6204. You made me watch<i>
  6205. Encino Man</i> 30 times.
  6206.  
  6207. 1387
  6208. 00:51:09,599 --> 00:51:12,235
  6209. "Wheeze a little juice!"
  6210.  
  6211. 1388
  6212. 00:51:12,235 --> 00:51:14,302
  6213. You still do
  6214. the worst Pauly Shore
  6215. impression
  6216.  
  6217. 1389
  6218. 00:51:14,302 --> 00:51:16,139
  6219. in the history of mankind.
  6220.  
  6221. 1390
  6222. 00:51:16,139 --> 00:51:18,574
  6223. I can't believe you're
  6224. still doing "The Weasel"
  6225.  
  6226. 1391
  6227. 00:51:18,574 --> 00:51:20,208
  6228. and you haven't seen
  6229. any of the Marvel Universe.
  6230.  
  6231. 1392
  6232. 00:51:20,208 --> 00:51:23,746
  6233. Those movies are sick.
  6234. You're like frozen in time.
  6235.  
  6236. 1393
  6237. 00:51:23,746 --> 00:51:25,414
  6238. I am Encino Man.
  6239.  
  6240. 1394
  6241. 00:51:26,414 --> 00:51:29,251
  6242. All right, what is your
  6243. favorite book as a kid?
  6244.  
  6245. 1395
  6246. 00:51:29,251 --> 00:51:31,286
  6247. <i> The Velveteen Rabbit.</i> You?
  6248.  
  6249. 1396
  6250. 00:51:31,286 --> 00:51:32,621
  6251. <i>Fear and Loathing
  6252. in Las Vegas.</i>
  6253.  
  6254. 1397
  6255. 00:51:32,621 --> 00:51:34,621
  6256. Oh, that explains a lot.
  6257.  
  6258. 1398
  6259. 00:51:32,621 --> 00:51:34,789
  6260. Yeah.
  6261.  
  6262. 1399
  6263. 00:51:36,692 --> 00:51:39,195
  6264. I'm so sorry
  6265. for what we've done to you.
  6266.  
  6267. 1400
  6268. 00:51:39,195 --> 00:51:40,762
  6269. Best drug experience?
  6270.  
  6271. 1401
  6272. 00:51:40,762 --> 00:51:42,697
  6273. I could get summoned
  6274. at any moment
  6275.  
  6276. 1402
  6277. 00:51:42,697 --> 00:51:44,199
  6278. to deal with
  6279. an international crisis,
  6280.  
  6281. 1403
  6282. 00:51:44,199 --> 00:51:45,534
  6283. I can't do that on acid.
  6284.  
  6285. 1404
  6286. 00:51:45,534 --> 00:51:46,802
  6287. What about Molly?
  6288.  
  6289. 1405
  6290. 00:51:46,802 --> 00:51:47,936
  6291. Who's Molly?
  6292.  
  6293. 1406
  6294. 00:51:49,539 --> 00:51:51,239
  6295. <i> Secretary of State
  6296. Charlotte Field</i>
  6297.  
  6298. 1407
  6299. 00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:54,342
  6300. <i> continues on her impressive
  6301. 20-country world tour</i>
  6302.  
  6303. 1408
  6304. 00:51:54,342 --> 00:51:55,744
  6305. <i> to garner more support</i>
  6306.  
  6307. 1409
  6308. 00:51:55,744 --> 00:51:57,480
  6309. <i> for her ambitious
  6310. environmental initiative.</i>
  6311.  
  6312. 1410
  6313. 00:51:57,480 --> 00:51:59,315
  6314. <i> And all in a private jet,
  6315. no less.</i>
  6316.  
  6317. 1411
  6318. 00:51:59,315 --> 00:52:00,815
  6319. <i> You know what would
  6320. save the environment?</i>
  6321.  
  6322. 1412
  6323. 00:52:00,815 --> 00:52:02,617
  6324. <i> Charlotte Field
  6325. grounding her ass.</i>
  6326.  
  6327. 1413
  6328. 00:52:02,617 --> 00:52:04,219
  6329. <i> I know where I'd like
  6330. to ground her ass.</i>
  6331.  
  6332. 1414
  6333. 00:52:04,219 --> 00:52:06,556
  6334. <i> Oh, I walked
  6335. right into that one.</i>
  6336.  
  6337. 1415
  6338. 00:52:06,556 --> 00:52:08,757
  6339. <i> Must Have Been Love</i>
  6340. by Roxette.
  6341.  
  6342. 1416
  6343. 00:52:08,757 --> 00:52:11,757
  6344. Oh! That's just fucking hot.
  6345.  
  6346. 1417
  6347. 00:52:08,757 --> 00:52:11,293
  6348. Right?
  6349.  
  6350. 1418
  6351. 00:52:11,293 --> 00:52:12,293
  6352. I got a new one.
  6353.  
  6354. 1419
  6355. 00:52:11,293 --> 00:52:12,762
  6356. What?
  6357.  
  6358. 1420
  6359. 00:52:12,762 --> 00:52:14,197
  6360. I got to change
  6361. my favorite song.
  6362.  
  6363. 1421
  6364. 00:52:14,197 --> 00:52:15,197
  6365. You have too many.
  6366.  
  6367. 1422
  6368. 00:52:14,197 --> 00:52:15,831
  6369. I've done it a few times.
  6370.  
  6371. 1423
  6372. 00:52:15,831 --> 00:52:18,867
  6373. <i> Broccoli</i> by DRAM,
  6374. featuring Lil Yachty.
  6375.  
  6376. 1424
  6377. 00:52:18,867 --> 00:52:20,436
  6378. All those words
  6379.  
  6380. 1425
  6381. 00:52:20,436 --> 00:52:22,436
  6382. are the name of a song?
  6383.  
  6384. 1426
  6385. 00:52:20,436 --> 00:52:22,338
  6386. Yeah.
  6387.  
  6388. 1427
  6389. 00:52:22,338 --> 00:52:23,338
  6390. I don't
  6391. really think I have one.
  6392.  
  6393. 1428
  6394. 00:52:23,338 --> 00:52:25,608
  6395. You gotta have one.
  6396. Everyone has one.
  6397.  
  6398. 1429
  6399. 00:52:25,608 --> 00:52:27,577
  6400. Well, I don't embarrass
  6401. that easily.
  6402.  
  6403. 1430
  6404. 00:52:27,577 --> 00:52:29,478
  6405. Yeah, I hear that.
  6406. I don't either, really.
  6407.  
  6408. 1431
  6409. 00:52:29,478 --> 00:52:31,478
  6410. Yes, you do.
  6411.  
  6412. 1432
  6413. 00:52:29,478 --> 00:52:31,581
  6414. No, I don't!
  6415.  
  6416. 1433
  6417. 00:52:31,581 --> 00:52:34,516
  6418. Oh, my God. Okay.
  6419.  
  6420. 1434
  6421. 00:52:34,516 --> 00:52:36,420
  6422. What's your favorite
  6423. sexual position?
  6424.  
  6425. 1435
  6426. 00:52:38,420 --> 00:52:40,590
  6427. I mean, you know, front.
  6428.  
  6429. 1436
  6430. 00:52:40,590 --> 00:52:42,590
  6431. Normal. Front facing normal.
  6432.  
  6433. 1437
  6434. 00:52:40,590 --> 00:52:42,291
  6435. Oh, my God.
  6436.  
  6437. 1438
  6438. 00:52:42,291 --> 00:52:43,291
  6439. What kinda question is that?
  6440.  
  6441. 1439
  6442. 00:52:42,291 --> 00:52:43,858
  6443. That's all it took.
  6444.  
  6445. 1440
  6446. 00:52:43,858 --> 00:52:44,827
  6447. Look at you.
  6448.  
  6449. 1441
  6450. 00:52:44,827 --> 00:52:46,929
  6451. Well, what's your favorite
  6452. sexual position?
  6453.  
  6454. 1442
  6455. 00:52:46,929 --> 00:52:48,929
  6456. Don't be gross, Fred. Hi.
  6457.  
  6458. 1443
  6459. 00:52:46,929 --> 00:52:48,965
  6460. Yeah, see?
  6461.  
  6462. 1444
  6463. 00:52:48,965 --> 00:52:51,867
  6464. What's your favorite
  6465. sexual position?
  6466.  
  6467. 1445
  6468. 00:52:51,867 --> 00:52:53,836
  6469. It's too complicated
  6470. to explain.
  6471.  
  6472. 1446
  6473. 00:52:54,836 --> 00:52:56,836
  6474. Really?
  6475.  
  6476. 1447
  6477. 00:52:54,836 --> 00:52:56,306
  6478. I told you mine.
  6479.  
  6480. 1448
  6481. 00:52:57,306 --> 00:52:59,307
  6482. Oh, God, okay.
  6483.  
  6484. 1449
  6485. 00:52:59,307 --> 00:53:01,777
  6486. I just got back
  6487. from a trip to New Delhi.
  6488.  
  6489. 1450
  6490. 00:53:01,777 --> 00:53:03,777
  6491. Yeah?
  6492.  
  6493. 1451
  6494. 00:53:01,777 --> 00:53:03,746
  6495. I got called into a meeting
  6496.  
  6497. 1452
  6498. 00:53:03,746 --> 00:53:06,349
  6499. with the Joint Chiefs,
  6500. and I was a little nervous.
  6501.  
  6502. 1453
  6503. 00:53:06,349 --> 00:53:08,349
  6504. Yeah.
  6505.  
  6506. 1454
  6507. 00:53:06,349 --> 00:53:08,483
  6508. Yeah.
  6509.  
  6510. 1455
  6511. 00:53:08,483 --> 00:53:12,521
  6512. And my stomach was a little
  6513. weird from all the curry.
  6514.  
  6515. 1456
  6516. 00:53:12,521 --> 00:53:13,289
  6517. Oh, no.
  6518.  
  6519. 1457
  6520. 00:53:14,289 --> 00:53:15,525
  6521. Delhi belly.
  6522.  
  6523. 1458
  6524. 00:53:17,525 --> 00:53:21,496
  6525. Well, we were in a motorcade
  6526. and we couldn't stop.
  6527.  
  6528. 1459
  6529. 00:53:21,496 --> 00:53:22,496
  6530. Oh, no.
  6531.  
  6532. 1460
  6533. 00:53:21,496 --> 00:53:22,632
  6534. Mmm-hmm.
  6535.  
  6536. 1461
  6537. 00:53:23,632 --> 00:53:24,900
  6538. God...
  6539.  
  6540. 1462
  6541. 00:53:24,900 --> 00:53:28,904
  6542. I ruined a really nice
  6543. Dolce & Gabbana bag.
  6544.  
  6545. 1463
  6546. 00:53:28,904 --> 00:53:31,904
  6547. You puked in it?
  6548.  
  6549. 1464
  6550. 00:53:28,904 --> 00:53:31,340
  6551. Nope.
  6552.  
  6553. 1465
  6554. 00:53:31,340 --> 00:53:34,543
  6555. Oh, no!
  6556. In a moving vehicle?
  6557.  
  6558. 1466
  6559. 00:53:37,380 --> 00:53:39,614
  6560. Do you actually understand
  6561. what's happening right now?
  6562.  
  6563. 1467
  6564. 00:53:39,614 --> 00:53:41,018
  6565. Yes, I speak Russian.
  6566.  
  6567. 1468
  6568. 00:53:42,018 --> 00:53:44,487
  6569. The Russian
  6570. Samuel L. Jackson guy is dope.
  6571.  
  6572. 1469
  6573. 00:53:44,487 --> 00:53:46,690
  6574. <i> Do svidanya,</i>
  6575. motherfuckers!
  6576.  
  6577. 1470
  6578. 00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,695
  6579. Oh, my God, they just
  6580. shot the pirate guy!
  6581.  
  6582. 1471
  6583. 00:53:53,695 --> 00:53:54,929
  6584. But he's keeping
  6585. the team together.
  6586.  
  6587. 1472
  6588. 00:53:54,929 --> 00:53:55,998
  6589. I know.
  6590.  
  6591. 1473
  6592. 00:53:55,998 --> 00:53:57,400
  6593. I don't think
  6594. I can handle that.
  6595.  
  6596. 1474
  6597. 00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:58,400
  6598. Oh, it's okay.
  6599.  
  6600. 1475
  6601. 00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:58,467
  6602. No,
  6603.  
  6604. 1476
  6605. 00:53:58,467 --> 00:54:00,603
  6606. I really liked him
  6607. in the movie.
  6608.  
  6609. 1477
  6610. 00:54:00,603 --> 00:54:01,871
  6611. Don't worry,
  6612. just keep watching.
  6613.  
  6614. 1478
  6615. 00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:04,606
  6616. You know,
  6617. the Philippines gets a bad rap.
  6618.  
  6619. 1479
  6620. 00:54:04,606 --> 00:54:06,442
  6621. Because it's pretty nice here.
  6622.  
  6623. 1480
  6624. 00:54:06,442 --> 00:54:08,844
  6625. You'd never know civil war
  6626. was about to break out.
  6627.  
  6628. 1481
  6629. 00:54:08,844 --> 00:54:10,313
  6630. This is good.
  6631.  
  6632. 1482
  6633. 00:54:10,313 --> 00:54:11,313
  6634. Oh, yeah?
  6635.  
  6636. 1483
  6637. 00:54:10,313 --> 00:54:11,480
  6638. Yeah.
  6639.  
  6640. 1484
  6641. 00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:16,518
  6642. Hey. What if we use
  6643. this line to start with?
  6644.  
  6645. 1485
  6646. 00:54:16,518 --> 00:54:17,786
  6647. Yeah, "I'm going to
  6648. start this speech
  6649.  
  6650. 1486
  6651. 00:54:17,786 --> 00:54:19,387
  6652. "by saying the same thing
  6653. I said to my boss
  6654.  
  6655. 1487
  6656. 00:54:19,387 --> 00:54:21,856
  6657. "at Blockbuster Video
  6658. when I was 16.
  6659.  
  6660. 1488
  6661. 00:54:21,856 --> 00:54:23,856
  6662. "I quit."
  6663.  
  6664. 1489
  6665. 00:54:23,059 --> 00:54:25,059
  6666. That's not bad.
  6667.  
  6668. 1490
  6669. 00:54:23,059 --> 00:54:25,494
  6670. I love that.
  6671.  
  6672. 1491
  6673. 00:54:25,494 --> 00:54:27,463
  6674. This is really fucking good.
  6675.  
  6676. 1492
  6677. 00:54:27,463 --> 00:54:29,632
  6678. Look at you, you get me, Fred.
  6679.  
  6680. 1493
  6681. 00:54:29,632 --> 00:54:31,833
  6682. I totally get you.
  6683.  
  6684. 1494
  6685. 00:54:31,833 --> 00:54:33,668
  6686. <i>♪ All I want for my birthday</i>
  6687.  
  6688. 1495
  6689. 00:54:33,668 --> 00:54:35,503
  6690. <i> ♪ Is a big booty ho</i>
  6691.  
  6692. 1496
  6693. 00:54:35,503 --> 00:54:36,972
  6694. <i> ♪ All I want
  6695. for my birthday... ♪</i>
  6696.  
  6697. 1497
  6698. 00:54:36,972 --> 00:54:38,708
  6699. I couldn't be happier
  6700. that out of all the shit
  6701.  
  6702. 1498
  6703. 00:54:38,708 --> 00:54:40,509
  6704. I played you
  6705. from the last decade,
  6706.  
  6707. 1499
  6708. 00:54:40,509 --> 00:54:42,077
  6709. that what you've liked
  6710. the most is 2 Chainz.
  6711.  
  6712. 1500
  6713. 00:54:42,077 --> 00:54:44,077
  6714. It's catchy.
  6715.  
  6716. 1501
  6717. 00:54:42,077 --> 00:54:44,480
  6718. It's awesome.
  6719.  
  6720. 1502
  6721. 00:54:49,085 --> 00:54:51,456
  6722. So, are you, like, dating
  6723. the prime minister of Canada?
  6724.  
  6725. 1503
  6726. 00:54:54,456 --> 00:54:55,456
  6727. No. No.
  6728.  
  6729. 1504
  6730. 00:54:54,456 --> 00:54:55,990
  6731. No.
  6732.  
  6733. 1505
  6734. 00:54:55,990 --> 00:54:57,793
  6735. I feel like I read...
  6736. Did I read that
  6737.  
  6738. 1506
  6739. 00:54:57,793 --> 00:54:59,762
  6740. in some shitty tabloid
  6741. that you guys were dating?
  6742.  
  6743. 1507
  6744. 00:54:59,762 --> 00:55:02,762
  6745. Maybe it's not true.
  6746.  
  6747. 1508
  6748. 00:54:59,762 --> 00:55:02,597
  6749. No, I'm sure you did. It's...
  6750.  
  6751. 1509
  6752. 00:55:02,597 --> 00:55:05,434
  6753. They like to write about it,
  6754. but no. I...
  6755.  
  6756. 1510
  6757. 00:55:05,434 --> 00:55:08,436
  6758. We're not, we... We flirt.
  6759.  
  6760. 1511
  6761. 00:55:08,436 --> 00:55:09,436
  6762. Yeah. Okay.
  6763.  
  6764. 1512
  6765. 00:55:08,436 --> 00:55:09,838
  6766. Kind of.
  6767.  
  6768. 1513
  6769. 00:55:09,838 --> 00:55:12,409
  6770. It's weird.
  6771. We made out once.
  6772.  
  6773. 1514
  6774. 00:55:13,409 --> 00:55:14,809
  6775. Dope.
  6776.  
  6777. 1515
  6778. 00:55:14,809 --> 00:55:15,010
  6779. You asked.
  6780.  
  6781. 1516
  6782. 00:55:16,010 --> 00:55:18,079
  6783. No, hey! I've hooked up with
  6784.  
  6785. 1517
  6786. 00:55:18,079 --> 00:55:20,516
  6787. my fair share
  6788. of world leaders, too.
  6789.  
  6790. 1518
  6791. 00:55:20,516 --> 00:55:22,518
  6792. I 69'd Fidel Castro once.
  6793.  
  6794. 1519
  6795. 00:55:23,518 --> 00:55:24,521
  6796. You thought
  6797. his beard was big.
  6798.  
  6799. 1520
  6800. 00:55:25,521 --> 00:55:26,588
  6801. Um...
  6802.  
  6803. 1521
  6804. 00:55:26,588 --> 00:55:29,625
  6805. But how does that work
  6806. with you? Do you, like...
  6807.  
  6808. 1522
  6809. 00:55:29,625 --> 00:55:31,559
  6810. Do you, like, date?
  6811.  
  6812. 1523
  6813. 00:55:31,559 --> 00:55:35,065
  6814. Uh... Yeah. I date.
  6815.  
  6816. 1524
  6817. 00:55:36,065 --> 00:55:37,000
  6818. Generally, you know,
  6819.  
  6820. 1525
  6821. 00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,536
  6822. with people who have
  6823. similar lifestyles to me.
  6824.  
  6825. 1526
  6826. 00:55:40,536 --> 00:55:42,972
  6827. People who travel a lot.
  6828.  
  6829. 1527
  6830. 00:55:43,972 --> 00:55:47,978
  6831. It's hard to keep
  6832. those things alive. I...
  6833.  
  6834. 1528
  6835. 00:55:48,978 --> 00:55:51,414
  6836. I mean, who wants to
  6837. follow me around the world
  6838.  
  6839. 1529
  6840. 00:55:51,414 --> 00:55:53,650
  6841. and hope I have five minutes
  6842. to be affectionate?
  6843.  
  6844. 1530
  6845. 00:55:54,650 --> 00:55:55,650
  6846. Yeah.
  6847.  
  6848. 1531
  6849. 00:55:54,650 --> 00:55:55,018
  6850. And honestly,
  6851.  
  6852. 1532
  6853. 00:55:56,018 --> 00:55:57,786
  6854. guys don't really
  6855. want to date women
  6856.  
  6857. 1533
  6858. 00:55:57,786 --> 00:55:59,088
  6859. who are more powerful
  6860. than them.
  6861.  
  6862. 1534
  6863. 00:55:59,088 --> 00:56:00,956
  6864. They think they do, but...
  6865.  
  6866. 1535
  6867. 00:56:01,956 --> 00:56:03,793
  6868. It's a dick shriveller.
  6869.  
  6870. 1536
  6871. 00:56:03,793 --> 00:56:05,793
  6872. Uff.
  6873.  
  6874. 1537
  6875. 00:56:03,793 --> 00:56:05,894
  6876. Mmm-hmm.
  6877.  
  6878. 1538
  6879. 00:56:05,894 --> 00:56:08,130
  6880. Dick Shriveller is my favorite
  6881. Batman villain though.
  6882.  
  6883. 1539
  6884. 00:56:08,130 --> 00:56:09,130
  6885. So...
  6886.  
  6887. 1540
  6888. 00:56:11,534 --> 00:56:13,469
  6889. You gonna ask
  6890. why I'm still single?
  6891.  
  6892. 1541
  6893. 00:56:13,469 --> 00:56:15,469
  6894. No, I get it.
  6895.  
  6896. 1542
  6897. 00:56:15,971 --> 00:56:18,971
  6898. It makes sense.
  6899.  
  6900. 1543
  6901. 00:56:15,971 --> 00:56:18,945
  6902. Yeah. It adds up.
  6903.  
  6904. 1544
  6905. 00:56:27,817 --> 00:56:28,951
  6906. We're right in front
  6907. of the window.
  6908.  
  6909. 1545
  6910. 00:56:30,952 --> 00:56:32,554
  6911. What the fuck is happening?
  6912.  
  6913. 1546
  6914. 00:56:32,554 --> 00:56:34,190
  6915. Insurgents are fighting
  6916. the army.
  6917.  
  6918. 1547
  6919. 00:56:34,190 --> 00:56:36,190
  6920. Are we in danger?
  6921.  
  6922. 1548
  6923. 00:56:34,190 --> 00:56:36,090
  6924. Yes! Yes!
  6925.  
  6926. 1549
  6927. 00:56:36,090 --> 00:56:37,760
  6928. Madam Secretary,
  6929. we need to leave now!
  6930.  
  6931. 1550
  6932. 00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:39,094
  6933. Fuck!
  6934.  
  6935. 1551
  6936. 00:56:39,094 --> 00:56:40,831
  6937. This way!
  6938.  
  6939. 1552
  6940. 00:56:41,831 --> 00:56:43,833
  6941. All right, guys, come with me.
  6942.  
  6943. 1553
  6944. 00:56:43,833 --> 00:56:45,833
  6945. Come on.
  6946.  
  6947. 1554
  6948. 00:57:09,791 --> 00:57:10,925
  6949. Secretary Field, this way!
  6950.  
  6951. 1555
  6952. 00:57:10,925 --> 00:57:12,925
  6953. I got her, secure them!
  6954.  
  6955. 1556
  6956. 00:57:13,896 --> 00:57:14,501
  6957. This way.
  6958.  
  6959. 1557
  6960. 00:57:18,501 --> 00:57:19,969
  6961. You'll be safe in here.
  6962.  
  6963. 1558
  6964. 00:57:20,969 --> 00:57:22,005
  6965. Oh, fuck! Are you okay?
  6966.  
  6967. 1559
  6968. 00:57:23,005 --> 00:57:23,005
  6969. Yeah, I'm okay. Are you okay?
  6970.  
  6971. 1560
  6972. 00:57:24,005 --> 00:57:25,007
  6973. I'm okay. Yeah.
  6974. We're okay. Okay.
  6975.  
  6976. 1561
  6977. 00:57:26,007 --> 00:57:29,007
  6978. Okay.
  6979.  
  6980. 1562
  6981. 00:57:26,007 --> 00:57:29,012
  6982. Okay. Okay. Holy shit!
  6983.  
  6984. 1563
  6985. 00:57:30,012 --> 00:57:33,248
  6986. Oh,
  6987. we could have just died.
  6988.  
  6989. 1564
  6990. 00:57:33,248 --> 00:57:36,050
  6991. Oh, my God, I'm freaking out
  6992. a bit right now.
  6993.  
  6994. 1565
  6995. 00:57:36,050 --> 00:57:37,119
  6996. I'm having a hard time
  6997.  
  6998. 1566
  6999. 00:57:37,119 --> 00:57:38,219
  7000. catching my breath
  7001. a little bit.
  7002.  
  7003. 1567
  7004. 00:57:38,219 --> 00:57:39,288
  7005. You don't seem like you're
  7006. freaking out very much.
  7007.  
  7008. 1568
  7009. 00:57:39,288 --> 00:57:42,657
  7010. I am! I'm employing
  7011. a Navy SEAL breathing technique,
  7012.  
  7013. 1569
  7014. 00:57:42,657 --> 00:57:43,925
  7015. for dealing with panicking.
  7016.  
  7017. 1570
  7018. 00:57:43,925 --> 00:57:46,161
  7019. It's just gonna take about
  7020. 90 seconds to work.
  7021.  
  7022. 1571
  7023. 00:57:46,161 --> 00:57:49,130
  7024. 90 seconds? I need more than
  7025. fucking 90 seconds!
  7026.  
  7027. 1572
  7028. 00:57:49,130 --> 00:57:50,865
  7029. I need 90 fucking years!
  7030.  
  7031. 1573
  7032. 00:57:50,865 --> 00:57:53,568
  7033. I'm fucked up for life
  7034. from this shit, yo!
  7035.  
  7036. 1574
  7037. 00:57:53,568 --> 00:57:56,304
  7038. I have so many regrets,
  7039. did so many terrible things!
  7040.  
  7041. 1575
  7042. 00:57:56,304 --> 00:57:59,742
  7043. When I was 12, I peed on a dog
  7044. to impress an older kid.
  7045.  
  7046. 1576
  7047. 00:57:59,742 --> 00:58:02,911
  7048. The dog didn't like it.
  7049. The older kid didn't either!
  7050.  
  7051. 1577
  7052. 00:58:02,911 --> 00:58:03,978
  7053. It was just pointless.
  7054.  
  7055. 1578
  7056. 00:58:03,978 --> 00:58:05,748
  7057. What the fuck?
  7058.  
  7059. 1579
  7060. 00:58:05,748 --> 00:58:07,918
  7061. Holy shit! Fuck!
  7062.  
  7063. 1580
  7064. 00:58:08,918 --> 00:58:11,119
  7065. Is there more? Is there
  7066. gonna be more?
  7067.  
  7068. 1581
  7069. 00:58:11,119 --> 00:58:12,119
  7070. Fred.
  7071.  
  7072. 1582
  7073. 00:58:11,119 --> 00:58:12,320
  7074. Is there more?
  7075.  
  7076. 1583
  7077. 00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:13,722
  7078. You're gonna
  7079. have to calm down.
  7080.  
  7081. 1584
  7082. 00:58:13,722 --> 00:58:14,956
  7083. I don't think I can.
  7084.  
  7085. 1585
  7086. 00:58:14,956 --> 00:58:16,759
  7087. Sit down with me.
  7088.  
  7089. 1586
  7090. 00:58:16,759 --> 00:58:17,893
  7091. And breathe.
  7092.  
  7093. 1587
  7094. 00:58:17,893 --> 00:58:20,893
  7095. Four seconds in.
  7096.  
  7097. 1588
  7098. 00:58:20,262 --> 00:58:21,329
  7099. Four seconds out.
  7100.  
  7101. 1589
  7102. 00:58:21,329 --> 00:58:23,164
  7103. Four seconds in.
  7104.  
  7105. 1590
  7106. 00:58:23,164 --> 00:58:24,833
  7107. One, two, three, four...
  7108.  
  7109. 1591
  7110. 00:58:24,833 --> 00:58:27,833
  7111. Four seconds out.
  7112.  
  7113. 1592
  7114. 00:58:24,833 --> 00:58:27,702
  7115. One, two...
  7116.  
  7117. 1593
  7118. 00:58:27,702 --> 00:58:30,702
  7119. Four seconds in.
  7120.  
  7121. 1594
  7122. 00:58:27,702 --> 00:58:30,572
  7123. One, two, three, four...
  7124.  
  7125. 1595
  7126. 00:58:30,572 --> 00:58:32,074
  7127. You don't have to count
  7128. while you're doing this.
  7129.  
  7130. 1596
  7131. 00:58:32,074 --> 00:58:33,208
  7132. ...four. It helps me.
  7133.  
  7134. 1597
  7135. 00:58:33,208 --> 00:58:36,208
  7136. One, two,
  7137. three, four...
  7138.  
  7139. 1598
  7140. 00:58:33,208 --> 00:58:36,911
  7141. There you go.
  7142.  
  7143. 1599
  7144. 00:58:36,911 --> 00:58:39,248
  7145. One, two, three, four.
  7146.  
  7147. 1600
  7148. 00:58:39,248 --> 00:58:41,248
  7149. One, two, three, four.
  7150.  
  7151. 1601
  7152. 00:58:42,016 --> 00:58:43,019
  7153. One, two, three, four.
  7154.  
  7155. 1602
  7156. 00:58:45,019 --> 00:58:47,019
  7157. You got it.
  7158.  
  7159. 1603
  7160. 00:58:45,019 --> 00:58:47,090
  7161. That actually works.
  7162.  
  7163. 1604
  7164. 00:58:48,090 --> 00:58:49,327
  7165. Those guys are good.
  7166.  
  7167. 1605
  7168. 00:58:54,195 --> 00:58:55,898
  7169. We did almost just die,
  7170. though.
  7171.  
  7172. 1606
  7173. 00:58:55,898 --> 00:58:56,965
  7174. We actually did almost die.
  7175.  
  7176. 1607
  7177. 00:58:56,965 --> 00:58:58,965
  7178. Yeah.
  7179.  
  7180. 1608
  7181. 00:58:56,965 --> 00:58:58,634
  7182. Oh, thank God.
  7183.  
  7184. 1609
  7185. 00:58:58,634 --> 00:58:59,768
  7186. That actually
  7187. makes me feel better.
  7188.  
  7189. 1610
  7190. 00:58:59,768 --> 00:59:00,902
  7191. Means I didn't overreact.
  7192.  
  7193. 1611
  7194. 00:59:00,902 --> 00:59:03,706
  7195. Oh, God, no, you completely
  7196. overreacted.
  7197.  
  7198. 1612
  7199. 00:59:04,706 --> 00:59:05,376
  7200. Yeah, maybe.
  7201.  
  7202. 1613
  7203. 00:59:08,376 --> 00:59:10,246
  7204. I can think of worse ways
  7205. to go
  7206.  
  7207. 1614
  7208. 00:59:11,246 --> 00:59:12,248
  7209. than here with you.
  7210.  
  7211. 1615
  7212. 00:59:14,248 --> 00:59:16,150
  7213. Honestly, this has been like,
  7214.  
  7215. 1616
  7216. 00:59:16,150 --> 00:59:18,324
  7217. the best few weeks
  7218. of my entire life.
  7219.  
  7220. 1617
  7221. 00:59:22,324 --> 00:59:23,659
  7222. You don't have to say it
  7223. back to me.
  7224.  
  7225. 1618
  7226. 00:59:23,659 --> 00:59:24,927
  7227. I know it's not true for you.
  7228.  
  7229. 1619
  7230. 00:59:24,927 --> 00:59:26,961
  7231. I saw you sing with
  7232. Bruce Springsteen last year,
  7233.  
  7234. 1620
  7235. 00:59:26,961 --> 00:59:28,329
  7236. at that benefit concert.
  7237. That was probably
  7238.  
  7239. 1621
  7240. 00:59:28,329 --> 00:59:29,797
  7241. a way better week.
  7242.  
  7243. 1622
  7244. 00:59:29,797 --> 00:59:32,635
  7245. Just as an example.
  7246.  
  7247. 1623
  7248. 00:59:32,635 --> 00:59:35,070
  7249. Well, this is
  7250. a pretty close second.
  7251.  
  7252. 1624
  7253. 00:59:35,070 --> 00:59:37,172
  7254. Really? To The Boss?
  7255.  
  7256. 1625
  7257. 00:59:37,172 --> 00:59:38,239
  7258. Yeah.
  7259.  
  7260. 1626
  7261. 00:59:38,239 --> 00:59:40,215
  7262. Wow. That's nice.
  7263.  
  7264. 1627
  7265. 00:59:47,215 --> 00:59:48,255
  7266. Uh...
  7267.  
  7268. 1628
  7269. 00:59:54,255 --> 00:59:57,326
  7270. I feel like maybe you want me
  7271. to kiss you right now,
  7272.  
  7273. 1629
  7274. 00:59:57,326 --> 00:59:59,293
  7275. but I don't want to make
  7276. the same stupid mistake
  7277.  
  7278. 1630
  7279. 00:59:59,293 --> 00:00:00,728
  7280. I made 25 years ago.
  7281.  
  7282. 1631
  7283. 01:00:00,728 --> 01:00:02,297
  7284. Wouldn't be a stupid mistake.
  7285.  
  7286. 1632
  7287. 01:00:03,297 --> 01:00:04,440
  7288. Wait... Really?
  7289.  
  7290. 1633
  7291. 01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,041
  7292. We've secured the location.
  7293.  
  7294. 1634
  7295. 01:00:13,041 --> 01:00:15,012
  7296. But we need to move you.
  7297. The helicopter is standing by.
  7298.  
  7299. 1635
  7300. 01:00:17,012 --> 01:00:18,284
  7301. Thank you, Agent M.
  7302.  
  7303. 1636
  7304. 01:00:23,284 --> 01:00:24,686
  7305. Holy shit.
  7306.  
  7307. 1637
  7308. 01:00:24,686 --> 01:00:25,753
  7309. That helicopter was way louder
  7310.  
  7311. 1638
  7312. 01:00:25,753 --> 01:00:27,155
  7313. than I thought
  7314. it was gonna be.
  7315.  
  7316. 1639
  7317. 01:00:27,155 --> 01:00:29,155
  7318. Fred, enough. Enough.
  7319.  
  7320. 1640
  7321. 01:00:27,155 --> 01:00:29,992
  7322. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
  7323.  
  7324. 1641
  7325. 01:00:29,992 --> 01:00:31,092
  7326. We're safe here though?
  7327.  
  7328. 1642
  7329. 01:00:31,092 --> 01:00:32,092
  7330. Yes!
  7331.  
  7332. 1643
  7333. 01:00:31,092 --> 01:00:32,760
  7334. Oh, my God, Fred!
  7335.  
  7336. 1644
  7337. 01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:33,829
  7338. This way.
  7339.  
  7340. 1645
  7341. 01:00:33,829 --> 01:00:35,001
  7342. This place
  7343. looks really nice.
  7344.  
  7345. 1646
  7346. 01:00:39,001 --> 01:00:40,469
  7347. Fred, I need you
  7348. to come work
  7349.  
  7350. 1647
  7351. 01:00:40,469 --> 01:00:42,304
  7352. on that speech with me,
  7353. right now.
  7354.  
  7355. 1648
  7356. 01:00:42,304 --> 01:00:44,304
  7357. Right now?
  7358.  
  7359. 1649
  7360. 01:00:42,304 --> 01:00:44,239
  7361. Yeah. Right now.
  7362.  
  7363. 1650
  7364. 01:00:45,239 --> 01:00:46,445
  7365. Okay.
  7366.  
  7367. 1651
  7368. 01:00:52,715 --> 01:00:53,882
  7369. Hang on, get my pants off.
  7370.  
  7371. 1652
  7372. 01:00:53,882 --> 01:00:55,719
  7373. Okay, I gotta, too. Shit.
  7374.  
  7375. 1653
  7376. 01:00:56,719 --> 01:00:58,719
  7377. We're doing it?
  7378.  
  7379. 1654
  7380. 01:00:56,719 --> 01:00:58,119
  7381. Yeah!
  7382.  
  7383. 1655
  7384. 01:00:58,119 --> 01:00:59,119
  7385. Do it faster.
  7386.  
  7387. 1656
  7388. 01:00:58,119 --> 01:00:59,188
  7389. Let's do it.
  7390.  
  7391. 1657
  7392. 01:00:59,188 --> 01:01:00,157
  7393. They're coming off!
  7394.  
  7395. 1658
  7396. 01:01:02,157 --> 01:01:04,494
  7397. Fucking tapered pants. Shit!
  7398.  
  7399. 1659
  7400. 01:01:05,494 --> 01:01:06,197
  7401. Fuck!
  7402.  
  7403. 1660
  7404. 01:01:08,197 --> 01:01:09,864
  7405. Okay, just leave
  7406. it! Just leave it! Leave it!
  7407.  
  7408. 1661
  7409. 01:01:09,864 --> 01:01:11,864
  7410. Okay.
  7411.  
  7412. 1662
  7413. 01:01:09,864 --> 01:01:11,333
  7414. Okay. Yeah.
  7415.  
  7416. 1663
  7417. 01:01:11,333 --> 01:01:12,400
  7418. Should I go in, then?
  7419.  
  7420. 1664
  7421. 01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,068
  7422. Yeah, enter.
  7423.  
  7424. 1665
  7425. 01:01:14,068 --> 01:01:17,338
  7426. Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, no!
  7427.  
  7428. 1666
  7429. 01:01:17,338 --> 01:01:19,338
  7430. I'm gonna come really soon.
  7431.  
  7432. 1667
  7433. 01:01:17,338 --> 01:01:19,474
  7434. Me too.
  7435.  
  7436. 1668
  7437. 01:01:19,474 --> 01:01:20,474
  7438. Really?
  7439.  
  7440. 1669
  7441. 01:01:19,474 --> 01:01:20,943
  7442. Yeah!
  7443.  
  7444. 1670
  7445. 01:01:20,943 --> 01:01:21,943
  7446. Oh, God!
  7447.  
  7448. 1671
  7449. 01:01:20,943 --> 01:01:21,010
  7450. Oh!
  7451.  
  7452. 1672
  7453. 01:01:22,010 --> 01:01:23,411
  7454. Oh, boy!
  7455.  
  7456. 1673
  7457. 01:01:26,248 --> 01:01:29,248
  7458. Oh, God! Okay.
  7459.  
  7460. 1674
  7461. 01:01:26,248 --> 01:01:29,184
  7462. Oh, my God!
  7463.  
  7464. 1675
  7465. 01:01:29,184 --> 01:01:31,184
  7466. I'm coming out.
  7467.  
  7468. 1676
  7469. 01:01:29,184 --> 01:01:31,085
  7470. Okay, come on.
  7471.  
  7472. 1677
  7473. 01:01:31,085 --> 01:01:36,891
  7474. Oh, God. Oh! Oh! Oh, fuck!
  7475.  
  7476. 1678
  7477. 01:01:36,891 --> 01:01:40,028
  7478. Wow. Oh, my God,
  7479. I'm sorry.
  7480.  
  7481. 1679
  7482. 01:01:41,028 --> 01:01:42,231
  7483. I don't know
  7484. what happened.
  7485.  
  7486. 1680
  7487. 01:01:42,231 --> 01:01:44,432
  7488. I usually last
  7489. way longer than that.
  7490.  
  7491. 1681
  7492. 01:01:44,432 --> 01:01:45,432
  7493. You know?
  7494.  
  7495. 1682
  7496. 01:01:44,432 --> 01:01:45,869
  7497. Not me.
  7498.  
  7499. 1683
  7500. 01:01:46,869 --> 01:01:47,804
  7501. That was weird.
  7502.  
  7503. 1684
  7504. 01:01:47,804 --> 01:01:48,005
  7505. We both said, "Oh, boy"
  7506. when we came...
  7507.  
  7508. 1685
  7509. 01:01:49,005 --> 01:01:50,005
  7510. Yeah, that's what
  7511. I was thinking.
  7512.  
  7513. 1686
  7514. 01:01:49,005 --> 01:01:50,972
  7515. ...at the same time.
  7516.  
  7517. 1687
  7518. 01:01:50,972 --> 01:01:52,972
  7519. That's never happened before.
  7520.  
  7521. 1688
  7522. 01:01:50,972 --> 01:01:52,507
  7523. I've never said that.
  7524.  
  7525. 1689
  7526. 01:01:52,507 --> 01:01:55,507
  7527. Yeah.
  7528.  
  7529. 1690
  7530. 01:01:52,507 --> 01:01:55,777
  7531. Super strange.
  7532.  
  7533. 1691
  7534. 01:01:55,777 --> 01:01:57,777
  7535. Oh!
  7536.  
  7537. 1692
  7538. 01:01:55,777 --> 01:01:57,478
  7539. Should we do that again?
  7540.  
  7541. 1693
  7542. 01:01:57,478 --> 01:01:59,148
  7543. Yeah, my hands are shaking,
  7544. I need a minute.
  7545.  
  7546. 1694
  7547. 01:02:03,851 --> 01:02:05,487
  7548. Hmm.
  7549.  
  7550. 1695
  7551. 01:02:05,487 --> 01:02:08,487
  7552. Who's this little guy?
  7553.  
  7554. 1696
  7555. 01:02:08,422 --> 01:02:10,324
  7556. I was a writing an article
  7557. about neo-Nazis
  7558.  
  7559. 1697
  7560. 01:02:10,324 --> 01:02:12,059
  7561. and I had to get a bottom half
  7562.  
  7563. 1698
  7564. 01:02:12,059 --> 01:02:13,494
  7565. of a swastika
  7566. tattooed on me...
  7567.  
  7568. 1699
  7569. 01:02:13,494 --> 01:02:15,494
  7570. Oh, my God.
  7571.  
  7572. 1700
  7573. 01:02:13,494 --> 01:02:15,329
  7574. ...so they wouldn't kill me
  7575.  
  7576. 1701
  7577. 01:02:15,329 --> 01:02:17,331
  7578. and I didn't want that,
  7579.  
  7580. 1702
  7581. 01:02:17,331 --> 01:02:20,469
  7582. so I added little shoes and
  7583. I made him a little stick man
  7584.  
  7585. 1703
  7586. 01:02:20,469 --> 01:02:23,938
  7587. and I named him
  7588. Adolf Stickler.
  7589.  
  7590. 1704
  7591. 01:02:23,938 --> 01:02:25,007
  7592. You'd never know
  7593. he had little swastika legs.
  7594.  
  7595. 1705
  7596. 01:02:26,007 --> 01:02:27,007
  7597. No.
  7598.  
  7599. 1706
  7600. 01:02:26,007 --> 01:02:27,476
  7601. He's so happy about it.
  7602.  
  7603. 1707
  7604. 01:02:27,476 --> 01:02:28,543
  7605. I know, they just
  7606. look like pants.
  7607.  
  7608. 1708
  7609. 01:02:28,543 --> 01:02:31,179
  7610. You'd never know he was born
  7611. in the fires of hatred.
  7612.  
  7613. 1709
  7614. 01:02:34,583 --> 01:02:36,021
  7615. Man, I am hungry.
  7616.  
  7617. 1710
  7618. 01:02:39,021 --> 01:02:40,521
  7619. What time is it?
  7620.  
  7621. 1711
  7622. 01:02:40,521 --> 01:02:43,326
  7623. I couldn't tell you
  7624. what fucking day it is.
  7625.  
  7626. 1712
  7627. 01:02:44,326 --> 01:02:47,295
  7628. And where...
  7629. Where are we right now?
  7630.  
  7631. 1713
  7632. 01:02:47,295 --> 01:02:48,597
  7633. I don't have a clue.
  7634.  
  7635. 1714
  7636. 01:02:48,597 --> 01:02:49,864
  7637. You don't know?
  7638.  
  7639. 1715
  7640. 01:02:49,864 --> 01:02:51,065
  7641. No. They just
  7642. dropped us here.
  7643.  
  7644. 1716
  7645. 01:02:51,065 --> 01:02:53,423
  7646. They just took us here
  7647. on the helicopter.
  7648.  
  7649. 1717
  7650. 01:03:15,423 --> 01:03:16,490
  7651. Good morning,
  7652. Mr. Flarsky.
  7653.  
  7654. 1718
  7655. 01:03:16,490 --> 01:03:17,927
  7656. Jesus!
  7657.  
  7658. 1719
  7659. 01:03:19,927 --> 01:03:21,001
  7660. You scared me, man.
  7661.  
  7662. 1720
  7663. 01:03:27,001 --> 01:03:29,605
  7664. Could you maybe not tell
  7665. anybody about this?
  7666.  
  7667. 1721
  7668. 01:03:29,605 --> 01:03:31,041
  7669. They wouldn't
  7670. believe me anyway.
  7671.  
  7672. 1722
  7673. 01:03:33,041 --> 01:03:34,177
  7674. Fair enough.
  7675.  
  7676. 1723
  7677. 01:03:35,177 --> 01:03:36,480
  7678. Good luck, man.
  7679.  
  7680. 1724
  7681. 01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:39,556
  7682. Thank you.
  7683.  
  7684. 1725
  7685. 01:03:48,556 --> 01:03:50,958
  7686. <i>These helicopters are scary.</i>
  7687.  
  7688. 1726
  7689. 01:03:50,958 --> 01:03:54,963
  7690. <i>It's gonna be fine, Fred.
  7691. Just breathe.</i>
  7692.  
  7693. 1727
  7694. 01:03:57,099 --> 01:03:59,568
  7695. <i> One, two, three, four.</i>
  7696.  
  7697. 1728
  7698. 01:03:59,568 --> 01:04:01,681
  7699. <i> One, two, three, four.</i>
  7700.  
  7701. 1729
  7702. 01:04:13,681 --> 01:04:15,583
  7703. I feel so happy right now!
  7704.  
  7705. 1730
  7706. 01:04:15,583 --> 01:04:17,318
  7707. Like,
  7708. I'm beginning to realize,
  7709.  
  7710. 1731
  7711. 01:04:17,318 --> 01:04:19,054
  7712. I may have never been happy.
  7713.  
  7714. 1732
  7715. 01:04:19,054 --> 01:04:21,556
  7716. This might be the first time
  7717. I ever felt happy.
  7718.  
  7719. 1733
  7720. 01:04:21,556 --> 01:04:22,025
  7721. And it feels good.
  7722.  
  7723. 1734
  7724. 01:04:23,025 --> 01:04:25,027
  7725. This is like, the best shit
  7726. that's ever happened.
  7727.  
  7728. 1735
  7729. 01:04:26,027 --> 01:04:27,963
  7730. There's like this crazy big
  7731. banquet thing tonight,
  7732.  
  7733. 1736
  7734. 01:04:27,963 --> 01:04:29,563
  7735. and she gave me
  7736. like a tuxedo to wear.
  7737.  
  7738. 1737
  7739. 01:04:29,563 --> 01:04:30,632
  7740. And it's not like a date,
  7741.  
  7742. 1738
  7743. 01:04:30,632 --> 01:04:32,233
  7744. but it kinda
  7745. feels like a date.
  7746.  
  7747. 1739
  7748. 01:04:32,233 --> 01:04:34,936
  7749. <i> How do I not fuck this up?
  7750. Seems impossible.</i>
  7751.  
  7752. 1740
  7753. 01:04:34,936 --> 01:04:37,172
  7754. Dude, you just need to give
  7755. yourself affirmation, man.
  7756.  
  7757. 1741
  7758. 01:04:37,172 --> 01:04:38,974
  7759. You need to...
  7760.  
  7761. 1742
  7762. 01:04:38,974 --> 01:04:41,010
  7763. You need to say that
  7764. you're worthy of love, man.
  7765.  
  7766. 1743
  7767. 01:04:42,010 --> 01:04:43,311
  7768. I am worthy of love.
  7769.  
  7770. 1744
  7771. 01:04:43,311 --> 01:04:44,980
  7772. <i> All right, now you gotta
  7773. say it 10,000</i>
  7774.  
  7775. 1745
  7776. 01:04:44,980 --> 01:04:46,481
  7777. more times,
  7778. until you believe it.
  7779.  
  7780. 1746
  7781. 01:04:46,481 --> 01:04:47,949
  7782. <i>Okay, look, I gotta go.</i>
  7783.  
  7784. 1747
  7785. 01:04:47,949 --> 01:04:50,284
  7786. <i>I have no fucking clue
  7787. how to tie a bow tie.</i>
  7788.  
  7789. 1748
  7790. 01:04:50,284 --> 01:04:51,954
  7791. All right, man. Hey!
  7792.  
  7793. 1749
  7794. 01:04:51,954 --> 01:04:52,161
  7795. <i> Be bold!</i>
  7796.  
  7797. 1750
  7798. 01:05:09,371 --> 01:05:10,706
  7799. Hi.
  7800.  
  7801. 1751
  7802. 01:05:10,706 --> 01:05:13,375
  7803. You look really pretty.
  7804.  
  7805. 1752
  7806. 01:05:13,375 --> 01:05:14,510
  7807. Thank you.
  7808.  
  7809. 1753
  7810. 01:05:15,510 --> 01:05:18,579
  7811. You look really pretty, too.
  7812.  
  7813. 1754
  7814. 01:05:18,579 --> 01:05:19,648
  7815. Thank you.
  7816.  
  7817. 1755
  7818. 01:05:19,648 --> 01:05:21,083
  7819. Thanks for the suit.
  7820.  
  7821. 1756
  7822. 01:05:21,083 --> 01:05:22,217
  7823. We should probably head in.
  7824.  
  7825. 1757
  7826. 01:05:22,217 --> 01:05:23,217
  7827. Shall we?
  7828.  
  7829. 1758
  7830. 01:05:22,217 --> 01:05:23,755
  7831. Yeah.
  7832.  
  7833. 1759
  7834. 01:05:26,755 --> 01:05:29,523
  7835. Wow. This is awesome.
  7836.  
  7837. 1760
  7838. 01:05:29,523 --> 01:05:31,193
  7839. It's cool being
  7840. in Argentina.
  7841.  
  7842. 1761
  7843. 01:05:31,193 --> 01:05:32,594
  7844. I think the guys
  7845. who killed my grandparents
  7846.  
  7847. 1762
  7848. 01:05:32,594 --> 01:05:34,130
  7849. are hiding here somewhere.
  7850.  
  7851. 1763
  7852. 01:05:35,130 --> 01:05:36,233
  7853. Shit, they got a band.
  7854.  
  7855. 1764
  7856. 01:05:38,233 --> 01:05:41,670
  7857. Do you wanna,
  7858. uh, dance maybe?
  7859. Or grab a drink?
  7860.  
  7861. 1765
  7862. 01:05:41,670 --> 01:05:43,204
  7863. So there are representatives
  7864.  
  7865. 1766
  7866. 01:05:43,204 --> 01:05:45,072
  7867. from over 75 countries
  7868. here tonight.
  7869.  
  7870. 1767
  7871. 01:05:45,072 --> 01:05:46,608
  7872. She has three hours
  7873. to get out there,
  7874.  
  7875. 1768
  7876. 01:05:46,608 --> 01:05:47,608
  7877. shake her money maker...
  7878.  
  7879. 1769
  7880. 01:05:46,608 --> 01:05:47,643
  7881. Yeah.
  7882.  
  7883. 1770
  7884. 01:05:47,643 --> 01:05:49,378
  7885. ...and get
  7886. as many commitments
  7887. as possible.
  7888.  
  7889. 1771
  7890. 01:05:49,378 --> 01:05:51,378
  7891. This is a work event.
  7892.  
  7893. 1772
  7894. 01:05:49,378 --> 01:05:51,045
  7895. Of course, yeah. I get it.
  7896.  
  7897. 1773
  7898. 01:05:51,045 --> 01:05:54,315
  7899. We could, uh, maybe at the end
  7900. of the night, have a drink.
  7901.  
  7902. 1774
  7903. 01:05:54,315 --> 01:05:56,451
  7904. Yeah, if you have time.
  7905. Cool.
  7906.  
  7907. 1775
  7908. 01:05:56,451 --> 01:05:58,451
  7909. We'll see.
  7910.  
  7911. 1776
  7912. 01:05:56,451 --> 01:05:58,519
  7913. Yeah.
  7914.  
  7915. 1777
  7916. 01:05:58,519 --> 01:06:00,326
  7917. All right. Okay.
  7918.  
  7919. 1778
  7920. 01:06:04,326 --> 01:06:05,030
  7921. I know what's going on.
  7922.  
  7923. 1779
  7924. 01:06:09,030 --> 01:06:11,030
  7925. What do you mean?
  7926.  
  7927. 1780
  7928. 01:06:09,030 --> 01:06:11,465
  7929. You know what I mean.
  7930.  
  7931. 1781
  7932. 01:06:11,465 --> 01:06:12,534
  7933. There's nothing going on.
  7934.  
  7935. 1782
  7936. 01:06:12,534 --> 01:06:14,702
  7937. Don't fucking bullshit me,
  7938. Fred.
  7939.  
  7940. 1783
  7941. 01:06:14,702 --> 01:06:17,405
  7942. 'Cause my EQ is through
  7943. the goddamn roof.
  7944.  
  7945. 1784
  7946. 01:06:17,405 --> 01:06:20,474
  7947. And I understand and intuit
  7948. the nuances of social dynamics
  7949.  
  7950. 1785
  7951. 01:06:20,474 --> 01:06:21,443
  7952. like you wouldn't believe.
  7953.  
  7954. 1786
  7955. 01:06:21,443 --> 01:06:24,378
  7956. The two of you are having sex
  7957. with each other.
  7958.  
  7959. 1787
  7960. 01:06:24,378 --> 01:06:26,213
  7961. There's no way you could
  7962. discern something like that.
  7963.  
  7964. 1788
  7965. 01:06:26,213 --> 01:06:27,215
  7966. Charlotte told me.
  7967.  
  7968. 1789
  7969. 01:06:28,215 --> 01:06:29,150
  7970. Really?
  7971.  
  7972. 1790
  7973. 01:06:29,150 --> 01:06:31,219
  7974. No, but you just did,
  7975. you fucking idiot.
  7976.  
  7977. 1791
  7978. 01:06:31,219 --> 01:06:34,222
  7979. Fuck! Shit!
  7980. That was fucking
  7981. very clever.
  7982.  
  7983. 1792
  7984. 01:06:34,222 --> 01:06:35,389
  7985. Jesus, well,
  7986. you know what, yes.
  7987.  
  7988. 1793
  7989. 01:06:35,389 --> 01:06:37,425
  7990. Okay. We're sexing
  7991. one another down.
  7992.  
  7993. 1794
  7994. 01:06:37,425 --> 01:06:38,425
  7995. So?
  7996.  
  7997. 1795
  7998. 01:06:37,425 --> 01:06:38,327
  7999. Ew.
  8000.  
  8001. 1796
  8002. 01:06:38,327 --> 01:06:39,693
  8003. Honestly, it's probably
  8004. weirder to me
  8005.  
  8006. 1797
  8007. 01:06:39,693 --> 01:06:40,693
  8008. than it is to you.
  8009.  
  8010. 1798
  8011. 01:06:39,693 --> 01:06:40,829
  8012. Look,
  8013.  
  8014. 1799
  8015. 01:06:40,829 --> 01:06:41,996
  8016. I can't believe
  8017. I have to say this,
  8018.  
  8019. 1800
  8020. 01:06:41,996 --> 01:06:45,434
  8021. but just so you know, there's
  8022. no way the two of you work.
  8023.  
  8024. 1801
  8025. 01:06:46,434 --> 01:06:48,170
  8026. Why would you say that?
  8027. You don't know that.
  8028.  
  8029. 1802
  8030. 01:06:48,170 --> 01:06:50,237
  8031. The public will never accept
  8032. the two of you together,
  8033.  
  8034. 1803
  8035. 01:06:50,237 --> 01:06:51,606
  8036. so neither will she.
  8037.  
  8038. 1804
  8039. 01:06:51,606 --> 01:06:53,208
  8040. Honestly, Fred,
  8041. it doesn't matter
  8042.  
  8043. 1805
  8044. 01:06:53,208 --> 01:06:54,175
  8045. if you get it or you don't,
  8046.  
  8047. 1806
  8048. 01:06:54,175 --> 01:06:55,844
  8049. 'cause the truth is,
  8050. she is going to realize it
  8051.  
  8052. 1807
  8053. 01:06:55,844 --> 01:06:57,112
  8054. for the both of you,
  8055.  
  8056. 1808
  8057. 01:06:57,112 --> 01:06:59,213
  8058. then you'll have
  8059. your heart broken.
  8060.  
  8061. 1809
  8062. 01:06:59,213 --> 01:07:00,548
  8063. And that could be
  8064. kinda fun to watch.
  8065.  
  8066. 1810
  8067. 01:07:00,548 --> 01:07:02,400
  8068. Ambassador Plenipotentiary...
  8069.  
  8070. 1811
  8071. 01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:20,735
  8072. Madam Secretary!
  8073.  
  8074. 1812
  8075. 01:07:21,735 --> 01:07:23,271
  8076. Excuse me.
  8077.  
  8078. 1813
  8079. 01:07:23,271 --> 01:07:24,271
  8080. Ah!
  8081.  
  8082. 1814
  8083. 01:07:23,271 --> 01:07:24,405
  8084. Parker.
  8085.  
  8086. 1815
  8087. 01:07:24,405 --> 01:07:26,405
  8088. Nope. Nope. Uh...
  8089.  
  8090. 1816
  8091. 01:07:28,342 --> 01:07:31,713
  8092. You know, we still have not
  8093. found time to sit down.
  8094.  
  8095. 1817
  8096. 01:07:31,713 --> 01:07:32,880
  8097. You know,
  8098. it's not gonna happen.
  8099.  
  8100. 1818
  8101. 01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:34,516
  8102. I'm not gonna find time.
  8103.  
  8104. 1819
  8105. 01:07:34,516 --> 01:07:37,119
  8106. I will get my way on this.
  8107.  
  8108. 1820
  8109. 01:07:37,119 --> 01:07:38,452
  8110. I don't even know
  8111. what you mean by "this,"
  8112.  
  8113. 1821
  8114. 01:07:38,452 --> 01:07:40,889
  8115. but please have at it.
  8116. It's all yours.
  8117.  
  8118. 1822
  8119. 01:07:40,889 --> 01:07:42,889
  8120. May I have a word?
  8121.  
  8122. 1823
  8123. 01:07:40,889 --> 01:07:42,324
  8124. Can you excuse me?
  8125.  
  8126. 1824
  8127. 01:07:42,324 --> 01:07:43,557
  8128. We're in the middle
  8129. of a conversation here.
  8130.  
  8131. 1825
  8132. 01:07:43,557 --> 01:07:46,557
  8133. Of course. Yes.
  8134.  
  8135. 1826
  8136. 01:07:43,557 --> 01:07:46,228
  8137. Oh, my God. You are a...
  8138.  
  8139. 1827
  8140. 01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:48,730
  8141. You look
  8142. absolutely wonderful.
  8143.  
  8144. 1828
  8145. 01:07:48,730 --> 01:07:50,730
  8146. Oh.
  8147.  
  8148. 1829
  8149. 01:07:51,867 --> 01:07:53,367
  8150. I have to say,
  8151. I have been
  8152.  
  8153. 1830
  8154. 01:07:53,367 --> 01:07:55,603
  8155. so impressed
  8156. by your initiative.
  8157.  
  8158. 1831
  8159. 01:07:55,603 --> 01:07:57,371
  8160. Does this mean
  8161. I can add Canada
  8162.  
  8163. 1832
  8164. 01:07:57,371 --> 01:07:59,373
  8165. to the list of countries
  8166. taking part?
  8167.  
  8168. 1833
  8169. 01:07:59,373 --> 01:08:01,543
  8170. On one condition.
  8171.  
  8172. 1834
  8173. 01:08:01,543 --> 01:08:02,443
  8174. Let me guess.
  8175.  
  8176. 1835
  8177. 01:08:02,443 --> 01:08:05,179
  8178. You want fewer restrictions
  8179. on lumber.
  8180.  
  8181. 1836
  8182. 01:08:05,179 --> 01:08:06,815
  8183. I don't care about lumber.
  8184.  
  8185. 1837
  8186. 01:08:07,815 --> 01:08:09,619
  8187. I just want to dance.
  8188.  
  8189. 1838
  8190. 01:08:12,786 --> 01:08:13,855
  8191. Sure.
  8192.  
  8193. 1839
  8194. 01:08:37,511 --> 01:08:38,780
  8195. Whoa!
  8196.  
  8197. 1840
  8198. 01:08:39,780 --> 01:08:41,650
  8199. Wow.
  8200.  
  8201. 1841
  8202. 01:08:42,650 --> 01:08:43,885
  8203. You know
  8204. when you see something,
  8205.  
  8206. 1842
  8207. 01:08:43,885 --> 01:08:47,221
  8208. and it just looks right.
  8209.  
  8210. 1843
  8211. 01:08:47,221 --> 01:08:49,291
  8212. Like a Kangol hat
  8213. on Samuel L. Jackson.
  8214.  
  8215. 1844
  8216. 01:08:49,291 --> 01:08:50,659
  8217. Mmm-hmm.
  8218.  
  8219. 1845
  8220. 01:08:59,935 --> 01:09:01,337
  8221. I'm worthy of love.
  8222.  
  8223. 1846
  8224. 01:09:03,337 --> 01:09:04,309
  8225. I'm worthy of love.
  8226.  
  8227. 1847
  8228. 01:09:07,309 --> 01:09:08,511
  8229. What the fuck
  8230. are you saying?
  8231.  
  8232. 1848
  8233. 01:09:09,511 --> 01:09:10,819
  8234. Nothing.
  8235.  
  8236. 1849
  8237. 01:09:43,712 --> 01:09:44,532
  8238. <i> Bonjour,</i> ma'am.
  8239.  
  8240. 1850
  8241. 01:10:17,746 --> 01:10:18,814
  8242. Excuse me.
  8243.  
  8244. 1851
  8245. 01:10:20,814 --> 01:10:22,931
  8246. Agent E, look alive.
  8247.  
  8248. 1852
  8249. 01:10:37,931 --> 01:10:39,931
  8250. Hi.
  8251.  
  8252. 1853
  8253. 01:10:37,931 --> 01:10:39,068
  8254. Hey.
  8255.  
  8256. 1854
  8257. 01:10:40,068 --> 01:10:41,070
  8258. I hear you have
  8259. a crush on me.
  8260.  
  8261. 1855
  8262. 01:10:43,070 --> 01:10:44,006
  8263. I do.
  8264.  
  8265. 1856
  8266. 01:10:46,006 --> 01:10:47,511
  8267. Kinda have
  8268. a crush on you, too.
  8269.  
  8270. 1857
  8271. 01:10:49,511 --> 01:10:50,948
  8272. Well, that's cool.
  8273.  
  8274. 1858
  8275. 01:10:53,948 --> 01:10:56,051
  8276. Hey, I know I asked earlier.
  8277.  
  8278. 1859
  8279. 01:10:56,051 --> 01:10:57,618
  8280. But, uh...
  8281.  
  8282. 1860
  8283. 01:11:01,323 --> 01:11:02,493
  8284. Do you want to dance with me?
  8285.  
  8286. 1861
  8287. 01:11:05,493 --> 01:11:06,662
  8288. It's a dope song.
  8289.  
  8290. 1862
  8291. 01:11:07,662 --> 01:11:08,896
  8292. Really fucking good song.
  8293.  
  8294. 1863
  8295. 01:11:08,896 --> 01:11:09,030
  8296. Maybe the best song
  8297. ever written.
  8298.  
  8299. 1864
  8300. 01:11:10,030 --> 01:11:11,541
  8301. Yeah.
  8302.  
  8303. 1865
  8304. 01:12:59,173 --> 01:13:00,809
  8305. I want you to
  8306. fuck me from behind
  8307.  
  8308. 1866
  8309. 01:13:00,809 --> 01:13:01,645
  8310. and slap my ass really hard.
  8311.  
  8312. 1867
  8313. 01:13:04,645 --> 01:13:05,846
  8314. What?
  8315.  
  8316. 1868
  8317. 01:13:05,846 --> 01:13:07,181
  8318. What?
  8319.  
  8320. 1869
  8321. 01:13:07,181 --> 01:13:09,451
  8322. Nothing. What,
  8323. did I say "what"?
  8324.  
  8325. 1870
  8326. 01:13:09,451 --> 01:13:10,752
  8327. Am I being too bossy?
  8328.  
  8329. 1871
  8330. 01:13:10,752 --> 01:13:13,520
  8331. No. No. No. No. Not at all.
  8332. No. No.
  8333.  
  8334. 1872
  8335. 01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:15,055
  8336. I am. I am.
  8337. I'm your boss all day,
  8338.  
  8339. 1873
  8340. 01:13:15,055 --> 01:13:15,055
  8341. and now I'm bossing you
  8342. in bed.
  8343.  
  8344. 1874
  8345. 01:13:15,923 --> 01:13:17,458
  8346. I'm sorry.
  8347. I didn't mean it that way.
  8348.  
  8349. 1875
  8350. 01:13:17,458 --> 01:13:18,659
  8351. No. Not at all.
  8352.  
  8353. 1876
  8354. 01:13:18,659 --> 01:13:20,528
  8355. My brain, honestly, just went
  8356. into shock a little bit...
  8357.  
  8358. 1877
  8359. 01:13:20,528 --> 01:13:21,662
  8360. Yeah, but you hesitated.
  8361.  
  8362. 1878
  8363. 01:13:21,662 --> 01:13:24,698
  8364. No, it's just not how
  8365. I imagined you liking things.
  8366.  
  8367. 1879
  8368. 01:13:24,698 --> 01:13:27,801
  8369. You know what?
  8370. We'll do exactly
  8371. what you were imagining.
  8372.  
  8373. 1880
  8374. 01:13:27,801 --> 01:13:29,804
  8375. And then you turn me around
  8376. and slap me on my ass
  8377.  
  8378. 1881
  8379. 01:13:29,804 --> 01:13:31,805
  8380. and then choke me
  8381. a little bit.
  8382.  
  8383. 1882
  8384. 01:13:31,805 --> 01:13:32,479
  8385. Oh, my God.
  8386.  
  8387. 1883
  8388. 01:13:40,547 --> 01:13:41,626
  8389. Whoa.
  8390.  
  8391. 1884
  8392. 01:13:51,626 --> 01:13:52,228
  8393. Frederick.
  8394.  
  8395. 1885
  8396. 01:13:53,228 --> 01:13:54,234
  8397. Margaret.
  8398.  
  8399. 1886
  8400. 01:13:59,234 --> 01:14:01,034
  8401. Hey, you forgot this...
  8402. Oh, fuck!
  8403.  
  8404. 1887
  8405. 01:14:01,034 --> 01:14:02,034
  8406. Gross!
  8407.  
  8408. 1888
  8409. 01:14:01,034 --> 01:14:02,804
  8410. Um...
  8411.  
  8412. 1889
  8413. 01:14:02,804 --> 01:14:04,137
  8414. I thought you guys
  8415. hated each other.
  8416.  
  8417. 1890
  8418. 01:14:04,137 --> 01:14:06,137
  8419. We do hate each other.
  8420.  
  8421. 1891
  8422. 01:14:04,137 --> 01:14:06,240
  8423. We do. Big time.
  8424.  
  8425. 1892
  8426. 01:14:06,240 --> 01:14:08,240
  8427. We are also fucking.
  8428.  
  8429. 1893
  8430. 01:14:06,240 --> 01:14:08,176
  8431. Ugh.
  8432.  
  8433. 1894
  8434. 01:14:08,176 --> 01:14:09,277
  8435. How long
  8436. have you been fucking?
  8437.  
  8438. 1895
  8439. 01:14:09,277 --> 01:14:10,612
  8440. That was probably 20 minutes.
  8441.  
  8442. 1896
  8443. 01:14:10,612 --> 01:14:11,679
  8444. Not right now!
  8445.  
  8446. 1897
  8447. 01:14:11,679 --> 01:14:13,679
  8448. Oh.
  8449.  
  8450. 1898
  8451. 01:14:11,679 --> 01:14:13,881
  8452. A lot of questions. Um, I...
  8453.  
  8454. 1899
  8455. 01:14:13,881 --> 01:14:15,048
  8456. I would say
  8457. anywhere between
  8458.  
  8459. 1900
  8460. 01:14:15,048 --> 01:14:16,917
  8461. two and five...
  8462. Three and a half times.
  8463.  
  8464. 1901
  8465. 01:14:16,917 --> 01:14:18,752
  8466. I would say on my end, five.
  8467.  
  8468. 1902
  8469. 01:14:18,752 --> 01:14:20,220
  8470. Three and a half sounds right.
  8471.  
  8472. 1903
  8473. 01:14:20,220 --> 01:14:22,590
  8474. I don't know how
  8475. you're tallying that shit.
  8476. That's sick.
  8477.  
  8478. 1904
  8479. 01:14:22,590 --> 01:14:24,025
  8480. Okay, first of all,
  8481. there's a woman present.
  8482.  
  8483. 1905
  8484. 01:14:25,025 --> 01:14:26,661
  8485. There's a woman
  8486. in there, too?
  8487.  
  8488. 1906
  8489. 01:14:26,661 --> 01:14:28,661
  8490. Excuse me.
  8491.  
  8492. 1907
  8493. 01:14:26,661 --> 01:14:28,563
  8494. Easy.
  8495.  
  8496. 1908
  8497. 01:14:28,563 --> 01:14:29,563
  8498. And I got it.
  8499.  
  8500. 1909
  8501. 01:14:28,563 --> 01:14:29,764
  8502. Sorry.
  8503.  
  8504. 1910
  8505. 01:14:29,764 --> 01:14:31,764
  8506. Again.
  8507.  
  8508. 1911
  8509. 01:14:29,764 --> 01:14:31,131
  8510. Sorry, I'm...
  8511.  
  8512. 1912
  8513. 01:14:31,131 --> 01:14:32,001
  8514. A woman is present
  8515. and that woman is me.
  8516.  
  8517. 1913
  8518. 01:14:33,001 --> 01:14:34,001
  8519. You?
  8520.  
  8521. 1914
  8522. 01:14:33,001 --> 01:14:34,601
  8523. We're talking about her.
  8524.  
  8525. 1915
  8526. 01:14:34,601 --> 01:14:36,537
  8527. Trust me, I know, Fred.
  8528.  
  8529. 1916
  8530. 01:14:36,537 --> 01:14:37,604
  8531. Tom, I got this.
  8532.  
  8533. 1917
  8534. 01:14:37,604 --> 01:14:39,604
  8535. Ugh!
  8536.  
  8537. 1918
  8538. 01:14:37,604 --> 01:14:39,039
  8539. I'm gonna say goodnight.
  8540.  
  8541. 1919
  8542. 01:14:39,039 --> 01:14:40,240
  8543. You tuck that in.
  8544. Goodnight to you.
  8545.  
  8546. 1920
  8547. 01:14:40,240 --> 01:14:41,109
  8548. And I will take my leave.
  8549.  
  8550. 1921
  8551. 01:14:41,109 --> 01:14:44,145
  8552. No. No way.
  8553. I'm not touching that shit.
  8554.  
  8555. 1922
  8556. 01:14:44,145 --> 01:14:46,145
  8557. It's not the worst instinct.
  8558.  
  8559. 1923
  8560. 01:14:44,145 --> 01:14:46,613
  8561. Guys, just...
  8562.  
  8563. 1924
  8564. 01:14:46,613 --> 01:14:47,681
  8565. Those hands
  8566. have been places.
  8567.  
  8568. 1925
  8569. 01:14:47,681 --> 01:14:49,182
  8570. Goodnight.
  8571.  
  8572. 1926
  8573. 01:14:49,182 --> 01:14:51,685
  8574. <i> With France's commitment,
  8575. U.S. Secretary of State</i>
  8576.  
  8577. 1927
  8578. 01:14:51,685 --> 01:14:55,055
  8579. <i> Charlotte Field's noble
  8580. Rehabilitation Initiative</i>
  8581.  
  8582. 1928
  8583. 01:14:55,055 --> 01:14:57,091
  8584. <i> has secured the support
  8585. of 100 countries.</i>
  8586.  
  8587. 1929
  8588. 01:14:59,193 --> 01:15:00,461
  8589. The president
  8590. wants to talk to you.
  8591.  
  8592. 1930
  8593. 01:15:00,461 --> 01:15:03,597
  8594. We've set up the tent
  8595. in the next room,
  8596. Madam Secretary.
  8597.  
  8598. 1931
  8599. 01:15:03,597 --> 01:15:04,304
  8600. Tell him hi.
  8601.  
  8602. 1932
  8603. 01:15:09,304 --> 01:15:11,939
  8604. Mr. President.<i> Bonjour.</i>
  8605.  
  8606. 1933
  8607. 01:15:11,939 --> 01:15:13,140
  8608. <i>Charlie,</i> bonjour.
  8609.  
  8610. 1934
  8611. 01:15:13,140 --> 01:15:16,778
  8612. <i>Hey, what's this I hear about
  8613. an environmental treaty thing?</i>
  8614.  
  8615. 1935
  8616. 01:15:16,778 --> 01:15:18,579
  8617. Oh, it's the Global
  8618.  
  8619. 1936
  8620. 01:15:18,579 --> 01:15:20,681
  8621. Rehabilitation Initiative,
  8622. sir.
  8623.  
  8624. 1937
  8625. 01:15:20,681 --> 01:15:23,184
  8626. It's been on your desk
  8627. for the last three weeks.
  8628.  
  8629. 1938
  8630. 01:15:23,184 --> 01:15:25,286
  8631. Yeah, well,
  8632. we ran it up the flagpole
  8633.  
  8634. 1939
  8635. 01:15:25,286 --> 01:15:27,721
  8636. and it's ruffling
  8637. some feathers.
  8638.  
  8639. 1940
  8640. 01:15:27,721 --> 01:15:29,856
  8641. Sir, you are the flagpole.
  8642.  
  8643. 1941
  8644. 01:15:29,856 --> 01:15:33,293
  8645. There are actually quite a few
  8646. flagpoles in this joint.
  8647.  
  8648. 1942
  8649. 01:15:33,293 --> 01:15:35,063
  8650. <i> We need you to revise it.</i>
  8651.  
  8652. 1943
  8653. 01:15:35,063 --> 01:15:36,965
  8654. Sir?
  8655.  
  8656. 1944
  8657. 01:15:36,965 --> 01:15:39,070
  8658. <i>We need you to kill the trees.</i>
  8659.  
  8660. 1945
  8661. 01:15:43,070 --> 01:15:44,305
  8662. Why would he do that?
  8663.  
  8664. 1946
  8665. 01:15:44,305 --> 01:15:47,341
  8666. Because he's funded
  8667. by a bunch
  8668. of fucking rich assholes
  8669.  
  8670. 1947
  8671. 01:15:47,341 --> 01:15:48,976
  8672. and I probably pissed
  8673. one of them off.
  8674.  
  8675. 1948
  8676. 01:15:48,976 --> 01:15:50,677
  8677. Can I just say
  8678. the optics of this
  8679.  
  8680. 1949
  8681. 01:15:50,677 --> 01:15:52,380
  8682. are actually
  8683. not that different?
  8684.  
  8685. 1950
  8686. 01:15:52,380 --> 01:15:54,181
  8687. The initiative still has
  8688. the same name.
  8689.  
  8690. 1951
  8691. 01:15:54,181 --> 01:15:55,949
  8692. It sounds
  8693. very impressive,
  8694.  
  8695. 1952
  8696. 01:15:55,949 --> 01:15:58,086
  8697. which is ultimately
  8698. all that matters.
  8699.  
  8700. 1953
  8701. 01:15:58,086 --> 01:16:00,787
  8702. I actually cared about this.
  8703.  
  8704. 1954
  8705. 01:16:00,787 --> 01:16:02,356
  8706. Now what am I
  8707. fucking left with? Bees?
  8708.  
  8709. 1955
  8710. 01:16:02,356 --> 01:16:03,690
  8711. I don't even like bees.
  8712.  
  8713. 1956
  8714. 01:16:03,690 --> 01:16:04,958
  8715. Do you have to
  8716. listen to him?
  8717.  
  8718. 1957
  8719. 01:16:04,958 --> 01:16:08,128
  8720. Yes. I have to listen to him.
  8721.  
  8722. 1958
  8723. 01:16:08,128 --> 01:16:10,965
  8724. Because unless he endorses me,
  8725. I won't win.
  8726.  
  8727. 1959
  8728. 01:16:10,965 --> 01:16:13,900
  8729. And this whole fucking show
  8730. would have been for nothing.
  8731.  
  8732. 1960
  8733. 01:16:13,900 --> 01:16:15,970
  8734. Well, maybe you don't need
  8735. his endorsement to win.
  8736.  
  8737. 1961
  8738. 01:16:15,970 --> 01:16:17,337
  8739. You know?
  8740. People are digging your shit.
  8741.  
  8742. 1962
  8743. 01:16:17,337 --> 01:16:18,006
  8744. And your numbers are good.
  8745.  
  8746. 1963
  8747. 01:16:19,006 --> 01:16:21,208
  8748. You know what, Fred?
  8749. She needs a little alone time.
  8750.  
  8751. 1964
  8752. 01:16:21,208 --> 01:16:22,743
  8753. Right, she probably just needs
  8754. a friend right now.
  8755.  
  8756. 1965
  8757. 01:16:22,743 --> 01:16:23,810
  8758. Time to go, buddy.
  8759.  
  8760. 1966
  8761. 01:16:23,810 --> 01:16:25,680
  8762. Oh, my God.
  8763.  
  8764. 1967
  8765. 01:16:25,680 --> 01:16:28,055
  8766. Maggie, just give me a second
  8767. alone with Fred, please.
  8768.  
  8769. 1968
  8770. 01:16:43,765 --> 01:16:46,167
  8771. I don't wanna
  8772. do this job anymore.
  8773.  
  8774. 1969
  8775. 01:16:46,167 --> 01:16:47,136
  8776. I fuckin' hate it.
  8777.  
  8778. 1970
  8779. 01:16:48,136 --> 01:16:50,304
  8780. I mean, what's the point?
  8781.  
  8782. 1971
  8783. 01:16:50,304 --> 01:16:53,175
  8784. Every time I do something,
  8785. it just gets undone.
  8786.  
  8787. 1972
  8788. 01:16:54,175 --> 01:16:55,409
  8789. I'm sorry.
  8790.  
  8791. 1973
  8792. 01:16:55,409 --> 01:16:57,211
  8793. I just wanna be
  8794. a normal person
  8795.  
  8796. 1974
  8797. 01:16:57,211 --> 01:16:58,979
  8798. and not give a fuck
  8799. about anything
  8800.  
  8801. 1975
  8802. 01:16:58,979 --> 01:17:00,015
  8803. just like
  8804. the rest of the world.
  8805.  
  8806. 1976
  8807. 01:17:01,015 --> 01:17:03,083
  8808. Yeah, most people don't
  8809. give a shit about anything.
  8810.  
  8811. 1977
  8812. 01:17:03,083 --> 01:17:04,953
  8813. I bet it's really nice.
  8814.  
  8815. 1978
  8816. 01:17:05,953 --> 01:17:07,788
  8817. That's what I want.
  8818.  
  8819. 1979
  8820. 01:17:07,788 --> 01:17:09,327
  8821. I don't know
  8822. how to give that to you.
  8823.  
  8824. 1980
  8825. 01:17:13,327 --> 01:17:14,296
  8826. Let's get fucked up.
  8827.  
  8828. 1981
  8829. 01:17:15,296 --> 01:17:16,363
  8830. Fucked up?
  8831.  
  8832. 1982
  8833. 01:17:16,363 --> 01:17:18,363
  8834. Yeah.
  8835.  
  8836. 1983
  8837. 01:17:16,363 --> 01:17:18,832
  8838. Like a few beers fucked up
  8839.  
  8840. 1984
  8841. 01:17:18,832 --> 01:17:21,101
  8842. or more than that fucked up?
  8843.  
  8844. 1985
  8845. 01:17:21,101 --> 01:17:23,909
  8846. Like super fucked up.
  8847.  
  8848. 1986
  8849. 01:17:28,909 --> 01:17:31,378
  8850. I want to smoke
  8851. a Molly with you.
  8852.  
  8853. 1987
  8854. 01:17:32,814 --> 01:17:33,748
  8855. What?
  8856.  
  8857. 1988
  8858. 01:17:34,748 --> 01:17:36,484
  8859. That's not, um...
  8860.  
  8861. 1989
  8862. 01:17:36,484 --> 01:17:38,152
  8863. That's not
  8864. how you take it, but...
  8865.  
  8866. 1990
  8867. 01:17:38,152 --> 01:17:39,052
  8868. How do you take it?
  8869.  
  8870. 1991
  8871. 01:17:39,052 --> 01:17:40,921
  8872. It's a pill.
  8873. You take it in your mouth.
  8874.  
  8875. 1992
  8876. 01:17:40,921 --> 01:17:42,457
  8877. But I don't know
  8878. if you wanna do it.
  8879.  
  8880. 1993
  8881. 01:17:42,457 --> 01:17:43,791
  8882. Why not?
  8883.  
  8884. 1994
  8885. 01:17:43,791 --> 01:17:45,726
  8886. I just don't know
  8887. if it's a good idea.
  8888.  
  8889. 1995
  8890. 01:17:45,726 --> 01:17:49,030
  8891. As your boss, I'm ordering you
  8892. to get me a Molly.
  8893.  
  8894. 1996
  8895. 01:17:50,030 --> 01:17:51,229
  8896. Oh, man.
  8897.  
  8898. 1997
  8899. 01:18:21,229 --> 01:18:22,395
  8900. You good?
  8901.  
  8902. 1998
  8903. 01:18:22,395 --> 01:18:24,364
  8904. I don't feel anything.
  8905.  
  8906. 1999
  8907. 01:18:24,364 --> 01:18:26,367
  8908. You don't feel it?
  8909.  
  8910. 2000
  8911. 01:18:26,367 --> 01:18:28,168
  8912. No, I don't feel
  8913. a fucking thing.
  8914.  
  8915. 2001
  8916. 01:18:28,168 --> 01:18:30,439
  8917. Ooh! Wow.
  8918.  
  8919. 2002
  8920. 01:18:31,439 --> 01:18:33,975
  8921. ... Was right.
  8922.  
  8923. 2003
  8924. 01:18:33,975 --> 01:18:37,878
  8925. Holy fuck...
  8926.  
  8927. 2004
  8928. 01:18:37,878 --> 01:18:39,212
  8929. No!
  8930.  
  8931. 2005
  8932. 01:18:39,212 --> 01:18:41,548
  8933. My jaw feels
  8934. really weird.
  8935.  
  8936. 2006
  8937. 01:18:41,548 --> 01:18:42,884
  8938. Yeah, that's the drugs.
  8939.  
  8940. 2007
  8941. 01:18:42,884 --> 01:18:44,484
  8942. Drugs love a jaw.
  8943.  
  8944. 2008
  8945. 01:18:44,484 --> 01:18:46,484
  8946. I want more.
  8947.  
  8948. 2009
  8949. 01:18:44,484 --> 01:18:46,921
  8950. No, no, no, no.
  8951.  
  8952. 2010
  8953. 01:18:46,921 --> 01:18:48,322
  8954. Maybe in like an hour.
  8955.  
  8956. 2011
  8957. 01:18:48,322 --> 01:18:50,961
  8958. We should do it now.
  8959.  
  8960. 2012
  8961. 01:19:18,886 --> 01:19:21,087
  8962. Yes, motherfuckers!
  8963.  
  8964. 2013
  8965. 01:19:21,087 --> 01:19:22,024
  8966. I could do this forever!
  8967.  
  8968. 2014
  8969. 01:19:23,024 --> 01:19:24,425
  8970. We're gonna.
  8971.  
  8972. 2015
  8973. 01:19:24,425 --> 01:19:26,927
  8974. I know I've been like...
  8975.  
  8976. 2016
  8977. 01:19:26,927 --> 01:19:29,162
  8978. I've been, like, playing it
  8979. pretty cool.
  8980.  
  8981. 2017
  8982. 01:19:29,162 --> 01:19:31,164
  8983. Like I've probably been
  8984. a little hard to read,
  8985.  
  8986. 2018
  8987. 01:19:31,164 --> 01:19:32,833
  8988. and I've been acting
  8989. kinda, like, aloof,
  8990.  
  8991. 2019
  8992. 01:19:32,833 --> 01:19:34,502
  8993. maybe like I don't
  8994. care that much.
  8995.  
  8996. 2020
  8997. 01:19:34,502 --> 01:19:37,939
  8998. But I don't wanna do that
  8999. anymore. I really like you.
  9000.  
  9001. 2021
  9002. 01:19:37,939 --> 01:19:40,240
  9003. You haven't been
  9004. playing it cool at all.
  9005.  
  9006. 2022
  9007. 01:19:40,240 --> 01:19:42,909
  9008. You just followed me
  9009. into the bathroom.
  9010.  
  9011. 2023
  9012. 01:19:42,909 --> 01:19:44,145
  9013. Yeah, to talk.
  9014.  
  9015. 2024
  9016. 01:19:44,145 --> 01:19:46,145
  9017. I really like you, too!
  9018.  
  9019. 2025
  9020. 01:19:44,145 --> 01:19:46,279
  9021. Really?
  9022.  
  9023. 2026
  9024. 01:19:46,279 --> 01:19:47,279
  9025. Yeah!
  9026.  
  9027. 2027
  9028. 01:19:46,279 --> 01:19:47,914
  9029. Yeah!
  9030.  
  9031. 2028
  9032. 01:19:49,884 --> 01:19:52,884
  9033. Madam Secretary!
  9034.  
  9035. 2029
  9036. 01:19:49,884 --> 01:19:52,552
  9037. Yeah! Whoa!
  9038.  
  9039. 2030
  9040. 01:19:52,552 --> 01:19:54,387
  9041. Madam Secretary!
  9042. Listen to me!
  9043.  
  9044. 2031
  9045. 01:19:54,387 --> 01:19:56,524
  9046. Dance with me,
  9047. Steven! Dance!
  9048.  
  9049. 2032
  9050. 01:19:56,524 --> 01:19:57,625
  9051. We have a situation.
  9052.  
  9053. 2033
  9054. 01:19:57,625 --> 01:19:58,625
  9055. Huh?
  9056.  
  9057. 2034
  9058. 01:20:07,335 --> 01:20:09,203
  9059. Yo.
  9060.  
  9061. 2035
  9062. 01:20:09,203 --> 01:20:12,239
  9063. How much longer is this
  9064. Molly stuff gonna last?
  9065.  
  9066. 2036
  9067. 01:20:12,239 --> 01:20:13,007
  9068. We just re-upped.
  9069.  
  9070. 2037
  9071. 01:20:14,007 --> 01:20:16,210
  9072. You kept saying you wanted
  9073. to take more, so we did.
  9074.  
  9075. 2038
  9076. 01:20:16,210 --> 01:20:19,448
  9077. So we have another
  9078. maybe four or five hours.
  9079.  
  9080. 2039
  9081. 01:20:20,448 --> 01:20:22,582
  9082. Yeah. Why?
  9083.  
  9084. 2040
  9085. 01:20:22,582 --> 01:20:24,417
  9086. I'm in so much trouble.
  9087.  
  9088. 2041
  9089. 01:20:24,417 --> 01:20:25,485
  9090. What's happening?
  9091.  
  9092. 2042
  9093. 01:20:25,485 --> 01:20:27,087
  9094. I'm gonna be
  9095. in so much trouble.
  9096.  
  9097. 2043
  9098. 01:20:27,087 --> 01:20:29,157
  9099. What's happening?
  9100. Are they outta water?
  9101.  
  9102. 2044
  9103. 01:20:30,157 --> 01:20:31,324
  9104. One of our U2s went down
  9105.  
  9106. 2045
  9107. 01:20:31,324 --> 01:20:34,228
  9108. while performing a standard
  9109. fly-over in Kashtari airspace.
  9110.  
  9111. 2046
  9112. 01:20:34,228 --> 01:20:35,328
  9113. The pilot was able to eject,
  9114.  
  9115. 2047
  9116. 01:20:35,328 --> 01:20:38,332
  9117. but it appears he was taken
  9118. by the Kashtari military.
  9119.  
  9120. 2048
  9121. 01:20:38,332 --> 01:20:40,033
  9122. Thank you, General.
  9123.  
  9124. 2049
  9125. 01:20:40,033 --> 01:20:41,534
  9126. Prime Minister Bharath
  9127. is refusing
  9128.  
  9129. 2050
  9130. 01:20:41,534 --> 01:20:44,037
  9131. to return the pilot
  9132. to United States custody.
  9133.  
  9134. 2051
  9135. 01:20:44,037 --> 01:20:45,006
  9136. He's personally hurt
  9137. by the many insults
  9138.  
  9139. 2052
  9140. 01:20:46,006 --> 01:20:47,507
  9141. hurled at him by POTUS.
  9142.  
  9143. 2053
  9144. 01:20:47,507 --> 01:20:49,409
  9145. Good job. All right.
  9146.  
  9147. 2054
  9148. 01:20:52,179 --> 01:20:53,448
  9149. It's gonna be okay
  9150. in there, right?
  9151.  
  9152. 2055
  9153. 01:20:54,448 --> 01:20:55,118
  9154. That's up to you, ma'am.
  9155.  
  9156. 2056
  9157. 01:20:57,118 --> 01:20:59,667
  9158. Oh, God.
  9159. You got this.
  9160.  
  9161. 2057
  9162. 01:21:16,604 --> 01:21:19,140
  9163. I can hold onto
  9164. your sunglasses for you,
  9165. if you'd like.
  9166.  
  9167. 2058
  9168. 01:21:19,140 --> 01:21:24,279
  9169. Oh, no. I have alopecia.
  9170. In both eyes.
  9171.  
  9172. 2059
  9173. 01:21:30,551 --> 01:21:31,019
  9174. Hello.
  9175.  
  9176. 2060
  9177. 01:21:32,019 --> 01:21:32,019
  9178. <i>Secretary Field!</i>
  9179.  
  9180. 2061
  9181. 01:21:32,987 --> 01:21:34,087
  9182. Oh, my God!
  9183.  
  9184. 2062
  9185. 01:21:34,087 --> 01:21:36,957
  9186. Hello, Bharath? Hey.
  9187.  
  9188. 2063
  9189. 01:21:36,957 --> 01:21:40,328
  9190. I hear we have
  9191. a situation here?
  9192.  
  9193. 2064
  9194. 01:21:40,328 --> 01:21:43,265
  9195. One that we both
  9196. probably want resolved.
  9197.  
  9198. 2065
  9199. 01:21:45,265 --> 01:21:47,702
  9200. Very quickly...
  9201.  
  9202. 2066
  9203. 01:21:47,702 --> 01:21:50,304
  9204. You're not going to bully me
  9205. this time, Madam Secretary.
  9206.  
  9207. 2067
  9208. 01:21:50,304 --> 01:21:51,006
  9209. Your man will stay here
  9210.  
  9211. 2068
  9212. 01:21:52,006 --> 01:21:54,975
  9213. until your president
  9214. personally apologizes to me.
  9215.  
  9216. 2069
  9217. 01:21:54,975 --> 01:21:55,177
  9218. Over Instagram.
  9219.  
  9220. 2070
  9221. 01:21:57,177 --> 01:22:00,177
  9222. He won't do that.
  9223.  
  9224. 2071
  9225. 01:21:57,177 --> 01:22:00,247
  9226. Yeah, no. Yes...
  9227.  
  9228. 2072
  9229. 01:22:01,247 --> 01:22:03,247
  9230. Yo.
  9231.  
  9232. 2073
  9233. 01:22:01,247 --> 01:22:03,451
  9234. Yes?
  9235.  
  9236. 2074
  9237. 01:22:03,451 --> 01:22:04,019
  9238. Can I level with you?
  9239.  
  9240. 2075
  9241. 01:22:05,019 --> 01:22:06,554
  9242. Can I fill you in
  9243. on something?
  9244.  
  9245. 2076
  9246. 01:22:06,554 --> 01:22:07,555
  9247. Go ahead.
  9248.  
  9249. 2077
  9250. 01:22:07,555 --> 01:22:09,256
  9251. Me and Charlotte,
  9252. we're fucked up right now.
  9253.  
  9254. 2078
  9255. 01:22:09,256 --> 01:22:10,190
  9256. We're on drugs.
  9257.  
  9258. 2079
  9259. 01:22:10,190 --> 01:22:11,725
  9260. First of all, I don't
  9261. wanna talk about that.
  9262.  
  9263. 2080
  9264. 01:22:11,725 --> 01:22:13,426
  9265. Why? We can't talk
  9266. about the drugs.
  9267.  
  9268. 2081
  9269. 01:22:13,426 --> 01:22:14,761
  9270. Do you know
  9271. we're on drugs?
  9272.  
  9273. 2082
  9274. 01:22:14,761 --> 01:22:17,498
  9275. I don't wanna talk
  9276. about that in this room.
  9277.  
  9278. 2083
  9279. 01:22:18,498 --> 01:22:19,498
  9280. What's happening?
  9281.  
  9282. 2084
  9283. 01:22:21,135 --> 01:22:22,203
  9284. We're on drugs
  9285. right now.
  9286.  
  9287. 2085
  9288. 01:22:24,270 --> 01:22:26,039
  9289. That's funny.
  9290. That's a funny joke!
  9291.  
  9292. 2086
  9293. 01:22:26,039 --> 01:22:27,009
  9294. What's a joke?
  9295. We're on fucking drugs...
  9296.  
  9297. 2087
  9298. 01:22:29,243 --> 01:22:30,377
  9299. Are we going somewhere?
  9300.  
  9301. 2088
  9302. 01:22:32,212 --> 01:22:34,114
  9303. What is that?
  9304.  
  9305. 2089
  9306. 01:22:34,114 --> 01:22:36,384
  9307. What is happening?
  9308. We're on drugs right now.
  9309.  
  9310. 2090
  9311. 01:22:36,384 --> 01:22:39,086
  9312. So you're admitting that
  9313. the United States government
  9314.  
  9315. 2091
  9316. 01:22:39,086 --> 01:22:41,322
  9317. ordered these planes
  9318. to spy on my country?
  9319.  
  9320. 2092
  9321. 01:22:41,322 --> 01:22:42,390
  9322. No.
  9323.  
  9324. 2093
  9325. 01:22:43,556 --> 01:22:46,659
  9326. No! No! Of course not!
  9327.  
  9328. 2094
  9329. 01:22:46,659 --> 01:22:48,762
  9330. <i> That's what it sounded like.
  9331. Face it.</i>
  9332.  
  9333. 2095
  9334. 01:22:48,762 --> 01:22:49,997
  9335. You have no leverage here.
  9336.  
  9337. 2096
  9338. 01:22:49,997 --> 01:22:53,266
  9339. Match his aggression, Madam.
  9340. It's the only way out of this.
  9341.  
  9342. 2097
  9343. 01:22:53,266 --> 01:22:55,735
  9344. I don't know, he seems
  9345. really fucking pissed off.
  9346.  
  9347. 2098
  9348. 01:22:55,735 --> 01:22:57,238
  9349. Get more fucking pissed.
  9350.  
  9351. 2099
  9352. 01:22:57,238 --> 01:22:58,440
  9353. Let him know
  9354. who's really in charge.
  9355.  
  9356. 2100
  9357. 01:23:03,543 --> 01:23:05,479
  9358. Oh, my God,
  9359. that really hurt.
  9360.  
  9361. 2101
  9362. 01:23:06,479 --> 01:23:08,248
  9363. I gotta be honest,
  9364. I'm not...
  9365.  
  9366. 2102
  9367. 01:23:08,248 --> 01:23:11,452
  9368. I'm not feeling
  9369. all this aggression stuff.
  9370.  
  9371. 2103
  9372. 01:23:11,452 --> 01:23:15,122
  9373. I'm into more of,
  9374. like, a chilled vibe.
  9375.  
  9376. 2104
  9377. 01:23:15,122 --> 01:23:17,692
  9378. You know, just feeling...
  9379.  
  9380. 2105
  9381. 01:23:18,692 --> 01:23:20,628
  9382. God, are those Gauloises?
  9383.  
  9384. 2106
  9385. 01:23:21,628 --> 01:23:23,532
  9386. Just, I'm so...
  9387.  
  9388. 2107
  9389. 01:23:24,532 --> 01:23:27,103
  9390. I'm just gonna bum one.
  9391.  
  9392. 2108
  9393. 01:23:29,103 --> 01:23:30,404
  9394. Just give me one sec.
  9395.  
  9396. 2109
  9397. 01:23:30,404 --> 01:23:31,646
  9398. Don't worry.
  9399.  
  9400. 2110
  9401. 01:23:39,646 --> 01:23:40,713
  9402. Bharath.
  9403.  
  9404. 2111
  9405. 01:23:40,713 --> 01:23:42,713
  9406. Hello?
  9407.  
  9408. 2112
  9409. 01:23:40,713 --> 01:23:42,716
  9410. <i> Listen.</i>
  9411.  
  9412. 2113
  9413. 01:23:43,716 --> 01:23:45,354
  9414. Mmm. Mmm.
  9415.  
  9416. 2114
  9417. 01:23:47,354 --> 01:23:52,725
  9418. You and I are in
  9419. the same boat, my friend.
  9420.  
  9421. 2115
  9422. 01:23:52,725 --> 01:23:54,395
  9423. How is that the case?
  9424.  
  9425. 2116
  9426. 01:23:54,395 --> 01:23:55,796
  9427. <i> We both have to
  9428. deal with my boss</i>
  9429.  
  9430. 2117
  9431. 01:23:55,796 --> 01:23:59,199
  9432. and we both think
  9433. he is an asshole.
  9434.  
  9435. 2118
  9436. 01:23:59,199 --> 01:24:01,268
  9437. You also think
  9438. he's an asshole?
  9439.  
  9440. 2119
  9441. 01:24:01,268 --> 01:24:02,770
  9442. Oh, my God,
  9443. he's such an asshole.
  9444.  
  9445. 2120
  9446. 01:24:02,770 --> 01:24:04,637
  9447. His stupid fucking TV show
  9448.  
  9449. 2121
  9450. 01:24:04,637 --> 01:24:06,573
  9451. was like,
  9452. good for three episodes
  9453.  
  9454. 2122
  9455. 01:24:06,573 --> 01:24:08,442
  9456. <i> and then it just didn't make
  9457. any sense.</i>
  9458.  
  9459. 2123
  9460. 01:24:08,442 --> 01:24:10,613
  9461. Fuck,
  9462. it feels good to say that.
  9463.  
  9464. 2124
  9465. 01:24:13,613 --> 01:24:14,783
  9466. Listen.
  9467.  
  9468. 2125
  9469. 01:24:16,783 --> 01:24:20,854
  9470. You need to keep this
  9471. on the real DL.
  9472.  
  9473. 2126
  9474. 01:24:20,854 --> 01:24:24,291
  9475. We both know
  9476. that the U.S. does not
  9477.  
  9478. 2127
  9479. 01:24:24,291 --> 01:24:27,427
  9480. negotiate with terrorists.
  9481.  
  9482. 2128
  9483. 01:24:27,427 --> 01:24:32,832
  9484. But, we do negotiate
  9485. with homies.
  9486.  
  9487. 2129
  9488. 01:24:32,832 --> 01:24:35,469
  9489. So if you give us
  9490. our guy back,
  9491.  
  9492. 2130
  9493. 01:24:35,469 --> 01:24:39,606
  9494. I'm gonna hook you up
  9495. with a sweet aid package.
  9496.  
  9497. 2131
  9498. 01:24:39,606 --> 01:24:42,643
  9499. <i>So not only do you not have to
  9500. keep a guy hostage,</i>
  9501.  
  9502. 2132
  9503. 01:24:42,643 --> 01:24:46,412
  9504. which is a pretty
  9505. shitty thing to do.
  9506.  
  9507. 2133
  9508. 01:24:46,412 --> 01:24:48,215
  9509. I mean, I've done it myself.
  9510.  
  9511. 2134
  9512. 01:24:48,215 --> 01:24:50,284
  9513. Don't tell anybody,
  9514. super classified.
  9515.  
  9516. 2135
  9517. 01:24:51,284 --> 01:24:52,886
  9518. It sucks, I hate it.
  9519.  
  9520. 2136
  9521. 01:24:52,886 --> 01:24:58,192
  9522. Yeah. So,
  9523. why don't we instead
  9524.  
  9525. 2137
  9526. 01:24:58,192 --> 01:25:01,862
  9527. save a ton of lives?
  9528.  
  9529. 2138
  9530. 01:25:01,862 --> 01:25:05,265
  9531. I mean, that's pretty
  9532. fucking awesome, right?
  9533.  
  9534. 2139
  9535. 01:25:05,265 --> 01:25:06,337
  9536. I think this is
  9537. a really good idea.
  9538.  
  9539. 2140
  9540. 01:25:10,337 --> 01:25:11,240
  9541. What do you say?
  9542.  
  9543. 2141
  9544. 01:25:14,240 --> 01:25:15,547
  9545. Ma'am.
  9546.  
  9547. 2142
  9548. 01:25:20,547 --> 01:25:22,750
  9549. Hostage saved, motherfuckers!
  9550.  
  9551. 2143
  9552. 01:25:22,750 --> 01:25:25,750
  9553. Yeah, yeah!
  9554.  
  9555. 2144
  9556. 01:25:25,485 --> 01:25:28,485
  9557. She did it! She did it!
  9558.  
  9559. 2145
  9560. 01:25:25,485 --> 01:25:28,454
  9561. She did it!
  9562.  
  9563. 2146
  9564. 01:25:28,454 --> 01:25:31,192
  9565. I'm here with Secretary
  9566. of State Charlotte Field.
  9567.  
  9568. 2147
  9569. 01:25:31,192 --> 01:25:33,627
  9570. Who, after a tense and
  9571. complicated negotiation
  9572.  
  9573. 2148
  9574. 01:25:33,627 --> 01:25:35,563
  9575. with Kashtar,
  9576. has secured the release
  9577.  
  9578. 2149
  9579. 01:25:35,563 --> 01:25:38,599
  9580. of the pilot of the U.S.
  9581. spy plane that went down
  9582.  
  9583. 2150
  9584. 01:25:38,599 --> 01:25:40,734
  9585. over Kashtari airspace.
  9586.  
  9587. 2151
  9588. 01:25:40,734 --> 01:25:42,802
  9589. - I know, right.
  9590. - Crazy.
  9591.  
  9592. 2152
  9593. 01:25:42,802 --> 01:25:43,871
  9594. And this is all
  9595. in the midst
  9596.  
  9597. 2153
  9598. 01:25:43,871 --> 01:25:46,472
  9599. of the success of
  9600. your environmental initiative,
  9601.  
  9602. 2154
  9603. 01:25:46,472 --> 01:25:49,909
  9604. which I understand
  9605. has secured the support
  9606. of 100 countries.
  9607.  
  9608. 2155
  9609. 01:25:49,909 --> 01:25:51,909
  9610. Yes, um...
  9611.  
  9612. 2156
  9613. 01:25:49,909 --> 01:25:51,478
  9614. Ooh, sore subject.
  9615.  
  9616. 2157
  9617. 01:25:51,478 --> 01:25:53,213
  9618. I'm very happy
  9619. to announce that
  9620.  
  9621. 2158
  9622. 01:25:53,213 --> 01:25:55,949
  9623. not only do I have the support
  9624. of those 100 countries,
  9625.  
  9626. 2159
  9627. 01:25:55,949 --> 01:25:58,652
  9628. but the president himself
  9629. called me personally
  9630.  
  9631. 2160
  9632. 01:25:58,652 --> 01:26:00,753
  9633. just to tell me how psyched
  9634. he is about this initiative...
  9635.  
  9636. 2161
  9637. 01:26:00,753 --> 01:26:03,753
  9638. Did he call? Did he call?
  9639.  
  9640. 2162
  9641. 01:26:00,753 --> 01:26:03,724
  9642. That didn't happen.
  9643.  
  9644. 2163
  9645. 01:26:03,724 --> 01:26:04,958
  9646. ...don't change a word,
  9647.  
  9648. 2164
  9649. 01:26:04,958 --> 01:26:07,895
  9650. especially the part, uh,
  9651. with the trees.
  9652.  
  9653. 2165
  9654. 01:26:07,895 --> 01:26:09,895
  9655. That's a lie.
  9656.  
  9657. 2166
  9658. 01:26:07,895 --> 01:26:09,529
  9659. So, all in all,
  9660.  
  9661. 2167
  9662. 01:26:09,529 --> 01:26:10,631
  9663. I'm just... Well,
  9664.  
  9665. 2168
  9666. 01:26:10,631 --> 01:26:13,567
  9667. I kinda feel like I'm just
  9668. kinda crushing it right now.
  9669.  
  9670. 2169
  9671. 01:26:13,567 --> 01:26:15,567
  9672. Thank you so much. So...
  9673.  
  9674. 2170
  9675. 01:26:13,567 --> 01:26:15,569
  9676. Thank you.
  9677.  
  9678. 2171
  9679. 01:26:16,569 --> 01:26:17,637
  9680. Thank you.
  9681.  
  9682. 2172
  9683. 01:26:17,637 --> 01:26:19,974
  9684. The incredible
  9685. Charlotte Field.
  9686.  
  9687. 2173
  9688. 01:26:19,974 --> 01:26:22,309
  9689. Who clearly still feels
  9690. the effects
  9691.  
  9692. 2174
  9693. 01:26:22,309 --> 01:26:25,613
  9694. of the intense all-night
  9695. hostage situation.
  9696.  
  9697. 2175
  9698. 01:26:37,925 --> 01:26:40,793
  9699. <i>After negotiating the release
  9700. of Lieutenant Gary Smith...</i>
  9701.  
  9702. 2176
  9703. 01:26:40,793 --> 01:26:42,729
  9704. <i> Charlotte Field's popularity
  9705. continues to skyrocket...</i>
  9706.  
  9707. 2177
  9708. 01:26:42,729 --> 01:26:44,465
  9709. <i> In the newest Gallup poll,
  9710. 68%...</i>
  9711.  
  9712. 2178
  9713. 01:26:44,465 --> 01:26:47,768
  9714. <i> ...are women mentally unfit
  9715. to hold the presidency?</i>
  9716.  
  9717. 2179
  9718. 01:26:47,768 --> 01:26:49,603
  9719. <i> Here to chat about it
  9720. is Chris Brown,</i>
  9721.  
  9722. 2180
  9723. 01:26:49,603 --> 01:26:51,971
  9724. <i> Jeremy Piven,
  9725. and Brett Ratner.</i>
  9726.  
  9727. 2181
  9728. 01:26:51,971 --> 01:26:54,774
  9729. <i>In the wake of her successful
  9730. hostage negotiation,</i>
  9731.  
  9732. 2182
  9733. 01:26:54,774 --> 01:26:56,976
  9734. <i>Charlotte Field's poll numbers
  9735. keep going up.</i>
  9736.  
  9737. 2183
  9738. 01:26:56,976 --> 01:26:58,345
  9739. <i>I'd like to apologize</i>
  9740.  
  9741. 2184
  9742. 01:26:58,345 --> 01:26:59,512
  9743. <i> to Charlotte,
  9744. and anyone out there</i>
  9745.  
  9746. 2185
  9747. 01:26:59,512 --> 01:27:02,618
  9748. <i>who was upset yesterday when
  9749. I called her Booby-McBoobson.</i>
  9750.  
  9751. 2186
  9752. 01:27:04,618 --> 01:27:05,686
  9753. Give me
  9754. the president's office.
  9755.  
  9756. 2187
  9757. 01:27:06,686 --> 01:27:08,756
  9758. Yep?
  9759.  
  9760. 2188
  9761. 01:27:08,756 --> 01:27:10,390
  9762. Can I talk to you
  9763. for a second?
  9764.  
  9765. 2189
  9766. 01:27:10,390 --> 01:27:11,891
  9767. Of course.
  9768.  
  9769. 2190
  9770. 01:27:11,891 --> 01:27:13,860
  9771. We got some new polling that
  9772. I thought I'd share with you.
  9773.  
  9774. 2191
  9775. 01:27:13,860 --> 01:27:14,994
  9776. All right.
  9777.  
  9778. 2192
  9779. 01:27:14,994 --> 01:27:16,563
  9780. It feels like
  9781. everything
  9782.  
  9783. 2193
  9784. 01:27:16,563 --> 01:27:17,797
  9785. is kinda falling into place
  9786. for us.
  9787.  
  9788. 2194
  9789. 01:27:17,797 --> 01:27:19,432
  9790. So we thought
  9791. we'd dig a little deeper
  9792.  
  9793. 2195
  9794. 01:27:19,432 --> 01:27:20,833
  9795. and make sure
  9796. there are no surprises.
  9797.  
  9798. 2196
  9799. 01:27:20,833 --> 01:27:22,833
  9800. Why are you acting so weird?
  9801.  
  9802. 2197
  9803. 01:27:20,833 --> 01:27:22,569
  9804. It's good.
  9805.  
  9806. 2198
  9807. 01:27:22,569 --> 01:27:24,706
  9808. We got some really
  9809. helpful feedback.
  9810.  
  9811. 2199
  9812. 01:27:25,706 --> 01:27:27,440
  9813. From the public.
  9814.  
  9815. 2200
  9816. 01:27:27,440 --> 01:27:30,711
  9817. So we asked
  9818. a thousand constituents
  9819.  
  9820. 2201
  9821. 01:27:30,711 --> 01:27:32,445
  9822. how they would feel
  9823.  
  9824. 2202
  9825. 01:27:32,445 --> 01:27:35,445
  9826. if, say, Princess Di...
  9827.  
  9828. 2203
  9829. 01:27:32,445 --> 01:27:35,515
  9830. Hmm.
  9831.  
  9832. 2204
  9833. 01:27:35,515 --> 01:27:36,784
  9834. ...if she were to
  9835. start dating
  9836.  
  9837. 2205
  9838. 01:27:37,784 --> 01:27:38,487
  9839. Guy Fieri.
  9840.  
  9841. 2206
  9842. 01:27:40,487 --> 01:27:42,389
  9843. I don't even know
  9844. who that is.
  9845.  
  9846. 2207
  9847. 01:27:42,389 --> 01:27:43,890
  9848. They
  9849. don't like that.
  9850.  
  9851. 2208
  9852. 01:27:43,890 --> 01:27:46,890
  9853. Yeah.
  9854.  
  9855. 2209
  9856. 01:27:43,890 --> 01:27:46,493
  9857. Or Kate Middleton
  9858.  
  9859. 2210
  9860. 01:27:46,493 --> 01:27:48,695
  9861. were to start dating
  9862. Danny DeVito.
  9863.  
  9864. 2211
  9865. 01:27:48,695 --> 01:27:49,796
  9866. I see where you're
  9867. going with this.
  9868.  
  9869. 2212
  9870. 01:27:49,796 --> 01:27:51,097
  9871. Pretty negative reaction.
  9872.  
  9873. 2213
  9874. 01:27:51,097 --> 01:27:53,766
  9875. Or if Jennifer Lawrence
  9876.  
  9877. 2214
  9878. 01:27:53,766 --> 01:27:56,005
  9879. were to start dating this
  9880. potato in a teal windbreaker.
  9881.  
  9882. 2215
  9883. 01:27:58,005 --> 01:27:59,907
  9884. They would be very upset.
  9885.  
  9886. 2216
  9887. 01:27:59,907 --> 01:28:01,408
  9888. You did a lot of work,
  9889.  
  9890. 2217
  9891. 01:28:01,408 --> 01:28:03,408
  9892. and I...
  9893.  
  9894. 2218
  9895. 01:28:01,408 --> 01:28:03,377
  9896. Well, but, can I just finish?
  9897.  
  9898. 2219
  9899. 01:28:03,377 --> 01:28:05,612
  9900. No, that's, like, a lot of...
  9901. I get it.
  9902.  
  9903. 2220
  9904. 01:28:05,612 --> 01:28:07,514
  9905. Madam Secretary.
  9906. I have no desire
  9907.  
  9908. 2221
  9909. 01:28:07,514 --> 01:28:09,514
  9910. to limit your romantic life.
  9911.  
  9912. 2222
  9913. 01:28:07,514 --> 01:28:09,550
  9914. Good.
  9915.  
  9916. 2223
  9917. 01:28:09,550 --> 01:28:12,386
  9918. But the optics of you and Fred
  9919.  
  9920. 2224
  9921. 01:28:12,386 --> 01:28:14,854
  9922. will make a presidential run
  9923. very challenging.
  9924.  
  9925. 2225
  9926. 01:28:14,854 --> 01:28:16,090
  9927. Fred is a journalist.
  9928.  
  9929. 2226
  9930. 01:28:16,090 --> 01:28:18,425
  9931. Who's written some
  9932. extremely fucked-up stuff.
  9933.  
  9934. 2227
  9935. 01:28:18,425 --> 01:28:21,563
  9936. No. That's exposed some
  9937. really fucked-up stuff.
  9938.  
  9939. 2228
  9940. 01:28:22,563 --> 01:28:24,797
  9941. And I just want to know
  9942. for myself,
  9943.  
  9944. 2229
  9945. 01:28:24,797 --> 01:28:27,801
  9946. you're comfortable with
  9947. putting everything on the line
  9948. for a hookup?
  9949.  
  9950. 2230
  9951. 01:28:27,801 --> 01:28:29,536
  9952. Oh, my God.
  9953.  
  9954. 2231
  9955. 01:28:29,536 --> 01:28:30,703
  9956. Why are we having
  9957. this conversation?
  9958.  
  9959. 2232
  9960. 01:28:30,703 --> 01:28:32,038
  9961. This is insane.
  9962.  
  9963. 2233
  9964. 01:28:32,038 --> 01:28:34,942
  9965. I don't have to explain myself
  9966. to you.
  9967.  
  9968. 2234
  9969. 01:28:34,942 --> 01:28:36,676
  9970. I'm sorry. I really don't
  9971. understand this.
  9972.  
  9973. 2235
  9974. 01:28:36,676 --> 01:28:38,078
  9975. And I fucking love you,
  9976. Charlotte.
  9977.  
  9978. 2236
  9979. 01:28:38,078 --> 01:28:39,078
  9980. I want you to be happy.
  9981.  
  9982. 2237
  9983. 01:28:39,078 --> 01:28:40,680
  9984. But more than that,
  9985. I want you
  9986. to be in charge.
  9987.  
  9988. 2238
  9989. 01:28:40,680 --> 01:28:42,615
  9990. And I want you
  9991. to be president.
  9992.  
  9993. 2239
  9994. 01:28:42,615 --> 01:28:44,756
  9995. For the sake of the future
  9996. of our country.
  9997.  
  9998. 2240
  9999. 01:28:48,756 --> 01:28:50,792
  10000. Look, there's another option.
  10001.  
  10002. 2241
  10003. 01:28:51,792 --> 01:28:53,092
  10004. There's a guy who works
  10005. for the Secret Service
  10006.  
  10007. 2242
  10008. 01:28:53,092 --> 01:28:57,163
  10009. whose job it is to handle
  10010. the mistresses...
  10011.  
  10012. 2243
  10013. 01:28:57,163 --> 01:28:58,731
  10014. Maggie. You're gonna
  10015. have to stop.
  10016.  
  10017. 2244
  10018. 01:28:58,731 --> 01:29:00,967
  10019. And there are a series
  10020. of tunnels in the White House
  10021.  
  10022. 2245
  10023. 01:29:00,967 --> 01:29:02,967
  10024. that Woodrow Wilson...
  10025.  
  10026. 2246
  10027. 01:29:00,967 --> 01:29:02,837
  10028. That's enough.
  10029.  
  10030. 2247
  10031. 01:29:04,837 --> 01:29:06,573
  10032. Fred is not an idea
  10033.  
  10034. 2248
  10035. 01:29:06,573 --> 01:29:08,009
  10036. that I'm floating by you
  10037. for your approval.
  10038.  
  10039. 2249
  10040. 01:29:09,009 --> 01:29:11,783
  10041. And you're getting very close
  10042. to crossing a line.
  10043.  
  10044. 2250
  10045. 01:29:16,783 --> 01:29:18,085
  10046. Okay. Got it.
  10047.  
  10048. 2251
  10049. 01:29:18,085 --> 01:29:19,988
  10050. Goodnight, Madam Secretary.
  10051.  
  10052. 2252
  10053. 01:29:25,458 --> 01:29:27,560
  10054. <i> When I grow up,
  10055. I want to be Charlotte Field.</i>
  10056.  
  10057. 2253
  10058. 01:29:27,560 --> 01:29:28,929
  10059. <i> Because she's smart and pretty</i>
  10060.  
  10061. 2254
  10062. 01:29:28,929 --> 01:29:30,564
  10063. <i> and she's going to be
  10064. president.</i>
  10065.  
  10066. 2255
  10067. 01:29:38,805 --> 01:29:41,641
  10068. I will be that
  10069. little girl's president.
  10070.  
  10071. 2256
  10072. 01:29:41,641 --> 01:29:44,877
  10073. Thank you,
  10074. and God bless America.
  10075.  
  10076. 2257
  10077. 01:29:44,877 --> 01:29:48,047
  10078. Massive applause.
  10079. Massive cheering.
  10080.  
  10081. 2258
  10082. 01:29:48,047 --> 01:29:50,184
  10083. At that point, I think
  10084. the stage would descend,
  10085.  
  10086. 2259
  10087. 01:29:50,184 --> 01:29:53,987
  10088. right, and then Lil Uzi Vert
  10089. or Charli XCX
  10090.  
  10091. 2260
  10092. 01:29:53,987 --> 01:29:56,457
  10093. would join hands
  10094. with the Harlem Boys Choir...
  10095.  
  10096. 2261
  10097. 01:29:56,457 --> 01:29:58,125
  10098. Well, I said we'll figure
  10099. that out later.
  10100.  
  10101. 2262
  10102. 01:30:00,027 --> 01:30:01,561
  10103. Uh, Madam Secretary,
  10104.  
  10105. 2263
  10106. 01:30:01,561 --> 01:30:02,663
  10107. the president would like to
  10108. see you right now.
  10109.  
  10110. 2264
  10111. 01:30:03,663 --> 01:30:04,832
  10112. Shit.
  10113.  
  10114. 2265
  10115. 01:30:05,832 --> 01:30:06,899
  10116. Damn it!
  10117.  
  10118. 2266
  10119. 01:30:06,899 --> 01:30:08,069
  10120. The nation is at war!
  10121.  
  10122. 2267
  10123. 01:30:09,069 --> 01:30:10,270
  10124. I find myself torn.
  10125.  
  10126. 2268
  10127. 01:30:10,270 --> 01:30:14,875
  10128. Torn between my personal love
  10129. and my love of country...
  10130.  
  10131. 2269
  10132. 01:30:14,875 --> 01:30:16,542
  10133. Sir, is this a good time?
  10134.  
  10135. 2270
  10136. 01:30:16,542 --> 01:30:19,579
  10137. Oh, hi, Charlotte.
  10138. No, I'm just running lines.
  10139.  
  10140. 2271
  10141. 01:30:19,579 --> 01:30:20,579
  10142. Oh.
  10143.  
  10144. 2272
  10145. 01:30:19,579 --> 01:30:20,614
  10146. All right.
  10147.  
  10148. 2273
  10149. 01:30:20,614 --> 01:30:22,817
  10150. Clear the room. Everybody,
  10151. just Charlotte, please.
  10152.  
  10153. 2274
  10154. 01:30:25,853 --> 01:30:26,720
  10155. Thanks.
  10156.  
  10157. 2275
  10158. 01:30:30,157 --> 01:30:31,859
  10159. Is everything okay, sir?
  10160.  
  10161. 2276
  10162. 01:30:32,859 --> 01:30:35,796
  10163. Oh, look who it is.
  10164.  
  10165. 2277
  10166. 01:30:35,796 --> 01:30:38,599
  10167. She's here at last.
  10168.  
  10169. 2278
  10170. 01:30:38,599 --> 01:30:41,033
  10171. You gotta love that
  10172. secret door. Sit down.
  10173.  
  10174. 2279
  10175. 01:30:45,506 --> 01:30:46,006
  10176. This feels like an ambush.
  10177.  
  10178. 2280
  10179. 01:30:47,006 --> 01:30:49,042
  10180. Well, in the
  10181. entertainment world,
  10182.  
  10183. 2281
  10184. 01:30:49,042 --> 01:30:51,211
  10185. we call this a surprise
  10186. walk-on.
  10187.  
  10188. 2282
  10189. 01:30:51,211 --> 01:30:52,645
  10190. You see, Charlotte,
  10191.  
  10192. 2283
  10193. 01:30:52,645 --> 01:30:55,215
  10194. we have a number of
  10195. business interests
  10196.  
  10197. 2284
  10198. 01:30:55,215 --> 01:30:58,085
  10199. and that, you know,
  10200. may be gravely affected
  10201.  
  10202. 2285
  10203. 01:30:58,085 --> 01:31:00,052
  10204. by this agreement of yours.
  10205.  
  10206. 2286
  10207. 01:31:00,052 --> 01:31:02,555
  10208. Yeah. Uh, aside from
  10209. getting into film,
  10210.  
  10211. 2287
  10212. 01:31:02,555 --> 01:31:05,192
  10213. I'm looking to use
  10214. my connections as president
  10215.  
  10216. 2288
  10217. 01:31:05,192 --> 01:31:07,226
  10218. to expand
  10219. my investment portfolio.
  10220.  
  10221. 2289
  10222. 01:31:07,226 --> 01:31:09,896
  10223. Sort of like an Ashton Kutcher
  10224. type thing, you know.
  10225.  
  10226. 2290
  10227. 01:31:09,896 --> 01:31:12,832
  10228. I mean, that guy is killing
  10229. with acting and investing...
  10230.  
  10231. 2291
  10232. 01:31:12,832 --> 01:31:15,668
  10233. I think what the president
  10234. is trying to say,
  10235.  
  10236. 2292
  10237. 01:31:15,668 --> 01:31:18,572
  10238. is that the server farm
  10239. we want to build in Alaska
  10240.  
  10241. 2293
  10242. 01:31:18,572 --> 01:31:21,009
  10243. is sitting on 10 miles of land
  10244. which will now be
  10245.  
  10246. 2294
  10247. 01:31:22,009 --> 01:31:23,711
  10248. protected by your initiative.
  10249.  
  10250. 2295
  10251. 01:31:24,711 --> 01:31:25,979
  10252. Move your server farm.
  10253.  
  10254. 2296
  10255. 01:31:25,979 --> 01:31:27,847
  10256. We want to
  10257. build it in Alaska.
  10258.  
  10259. 2297
  10260. 01:31:27,847 --> 01:31:29,615
  10261. There's plenty of room
  10262. for expansion.
  10263.  
  10264. 2298
  10265. 01:31:29,615 --> 01:31:32,586
  10266. Charlotte. I'm surprised
  10267. that it's come to this.
  10268.  
  10269. 2299
  10270. 01:31:32,586 --> 01:31:34,287
  10271. You're usually so agreeable.
  10272.  
  10273. 2300
  10274. 01:31:34,287 --> 01:31:36,722
  10275. But I watched you
  10276. undermine me
  10277.  
  10278. 2301
  10279. 01:31:36,722 --> 01:31:38,759
  10280. on TV the other day.
  10281.  
  10282. 2302
  10283. 01:31:38,759 --> 01:31:40,827
  10284. TV of all places.
  10285.  
  10286. 2303
  10287. 01:31:40,827 --> 01:31:42,863
  10288. That's my medium. All right?
  10289.  
  10290. 2304
  10291. 01:31:42,863 --> 01:31:46,567
  10292. You used TV against me!
  10293.  
  10294. 2305
  10295. 01:31:46,567 --> 01:31:49,036
  10296. That was your first mistake.
  10297.  
  10298. 2306
  10299. 01:31:49,036 --> 01:31:51,971
  10300. Look, I'm about to give you
  10301. the easiest ultimatum
  10302.  
  10303. 2307
  10304. 01:31:51,971 --> 01:31:54,841
  10305. that you're ever,
  10306. ever gonna receive.
  10307.  
  10308. 2308
  10309. 01:31:55,841 --> 01:31:57,578
  10310. Drop the tree thing.
  10311.  
  10312. 2309
  10313. 01:31:57,578 --> 01:31:59,578
  10314. Or?
  10315.  
  10316. 2310
  10317. 01:31:57,578 --> 01:31:59,012
  10318. Or...
  10319.  
  10320. 2311
  10321. 01:32:00,012 --> 01:32:05,019
  10322. We will release the content
  10323. of your friend's hard drive.
  10324.  
  10325. 2312
  10326. 01:32:06,019 --> 01:32:08,755
  10327. We found
  10328. a lot of interesting stuff
  10329.  
  10330. 2313
  10331. 01:32:08,755 --> 01:32:10,356
  10332. when we hacked
  10333. into his webcam.
  10334.  
  10335. 2314
  10336. 01:32:10,356 --> 01:32:12,828
  10337. Now here is a little taster.
  10338.  
  10339. 2315
  10340. 01:32:15,828 --> 01:32:18,931
  10341. <i>Yo, Charlotte, it's Fred.</i>
  10342.  
  10343. 2316
  10344. 01:32:18,931 --> 01:32:20,766
  10345. <i> Uh, you want
  10346. to come to my room</i>
  10347.  
  10348. 2317
  10349. 01:32:20,766 --> 01:32:22,935
  10350. <i> and have sex with me
  10351. really fast?</i>
  10352.  
  10353. 2318
  10354. 01:32:22,935 --> 01:32:26,038
  10355. <i>Oh no, don't worry. I'll find
  10356. ways to kill time today.</i>
  10357.  
  10358. 2319
  10359. 01:32:26,038 --> 01:32:27,841
  10360. <i> It's cool. Just let me know
  10361. when you're back.</i>
  10362.  
  10363. 2320
  10364. 01:32:27,841 --> 01:32:28,042
  10365. <i> Great.</i>
  10366.  
  10367. 2321
  10368. 01:32:33,313 --> 01:32:35,082
  10369. <i>...important to me.</i>
  10370.  
  10371. 2322
  10372. 01:32:35,082 --> 01:32:37,717
  10373. <i> That's a good speech.</i>
  10374.  
  10375. 2323
  10376. 01:32:37,717 --> 01:32:39,720
  10377. <i> The band of misfits
  10378. fight back...</i>
  10379.  
  10380. 2324
  10381. 01:32:39,720 --> 01:32:41,720
  10382. <i> Nice dress.</i>
  10383.  
  10384. 2325
  10385. 01:32:39,720 --> 01:32:41,956
  10386. <i> ...against the bullies.</i>
  10387.  
  10388. 2326
  10389. 01:32:42,956 --> 01:32:44,157
  10390. <i> Never giving up.</i>
  10391.  
  10392. 2327
  10393. 01:32:44,157 --> 01:32:45,292
  10394. <i> Never laying down.</i>
  10395.  
  10396. 2328
  10397. 01:32:48,362 --> 01:32:49,863
  10398. <i> In high school,</i>
  10399.  
  10400. 2329
  10401. 01:32:49,863 --> 01:32:51,399
  10402. <i> I would talk about
  10403. the underdog a lot.</i>
  10404.  
  10405. 2330
  10406. 01:32:53,399 --> 01:32:56,136
  10407. <i>And I would often find myself
  10408. on a soapbox</i>
  10409.  
  10410. 2331
  10411. 01:32:56,136 --> 01:32:58,872
  10412. <i> rambling on and on
  10413. about the injustices</i>
  10414.  
  10415. 2332
  10416. 01:32:58,872 --> 01:33:00,208
  10417. <i> of the world.</i>
  10418.  
  10419. 2333
  10420. 01:33:02,208 --> 01:33:03,944
  10421. <i> Which makes you
  10422. extremely popular...</i>
  10423.  
  10424. 2334
  10425. 01:33:05,679 --> 01:33:07,247
  10426. <i> ...especially when everybody
  10427. would rather be watching</i>
  10428.  
  10429. 2335
  10430. 01:33:07,247 --> 01:33:08,015
  10431. Beverly Hills, 90210.
  10432.  
  10433. 2336
  10434. 01:33:16,856 --> 01:33:18,859
  10435. Oh, wow.
  10436.  
  10437. 2337
  10438. 01:33:23,863 --> 01:33:25,702
  10439. <i> Oh, boy!</i>
  10440.  
  10441. 2338
  10442. 01:33:28,702 --> 01:33:31,304
  10443. <i> Oh, no...</i>
  10444.  
  10445. 2339
  10446. 01:33:31,304 --> 01:33:32,773
  10447. <i> Yucky.</i>
  10448.  
  10449. 2340
  10450. 01:33:35,074 --> 01:33:36,143
  10451. <i> Oh, boy!</i>
  10452.  
  10453. 2341
  10454. 01:33:36,143 --> 01:33:37,179
  10455. What the fuck?
  10456.  
  10457. 2342
  10458. 01:33:39,179 --> 01:33:44,150
  10459. Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
  10460. I'm so sorry this happened.
  10461.  
  10462. 2343
  10463. 01:33:44,150 --> 01:33:45,150
  10464. You don't have to be sorry.
  10465.  
  10466. 2344
  10467. 01:33:44,150 --> 01:33:45,886
  10468. What do we do?
  10469.  
  10470. 2345
  10471. 01:33:45,886 --> 01:33:47,887
  10472. This is what everyone
  10473. was afraid was gonna happen,
  10474.  
  10475. 2346
  10476. 01:33:47,887 --> 01:33:48,954
  10477. because of me.
  10478.  
  10479. 2347
  10480. 01:33:48,954 --> 01:33:50,390
  10481. And now it's happening
  10482. because of me.
  10483.  
  10484. 2348
  10485. 01:33:50,390 --> 01:33:51,390
  10486. Do I get a publicist?
  10487.  
  10488. 2349
  10489. 01:33:50,390 --> 01:33:51,692
  10490. No.
  10491.  
  10492. 2350
  10493. 01:33:51,692 --> 01:33:52,692
  10494. Do I do a publicity tour?
  10495.  
  10496. 2351
  10497. 01:33:51,692 --> 01:33:52,926
  10498. Stop.
  10499.  
  10500. 2352
  10501. 01:33:52,926 --> 01:33:54,094
  10502. Do we have
  10503. a press conference?
  10504.  
  10505. 2353
  10506. 01:33:54,094 --> 01:33:57,698
  10507. Fred, listen to me.
  10508. I took the deal.
  10509.  
  10510. 2354
  10511. 01:33:58,698 --> 01:33:59,765
  10512. What?
  10513.  
  10514. 2355
  10515. 01:33:59,765 --> 01:34:01,100
  10516. We scratched the tree thing
  10517.  
  10518. 2356
  10519. 01:34:01,100 --> 01:34:03,703
  10520. and I have a real shot
  10521. at becoming president.
  10522.  
  10523. 2357
  10524. 01:34:03,703 --> 01:34:08,809
  10525. And some billionaire
  10526. motherfucker
  10527.  
  10528. 2358
  10529. 01:34:08,809 --> 01:34:12,746
  10530. gets to blackmail you?
  10531. Using me?
  10532.  
  10533. 2359
  10534. 01:34:12,746 --> 01:34:14,015
  10535. Doing something
  10536. that everybody does?
  10537.  
  10538. 2360
  10539. 01:34:15,015 --> 01:34:16,016
  10540. Out of a policy
  10541. that you cared about,
  10542.  
  10543. 2361
  10544. 01:34:17,016 --> 01:34:18,484
  10545. since you were
  10546. in middle school.
  10547.  
  10548. 2362
  10549. 01:34:18,484 --> 01:34:20,220
  10550. Since I've known you,
  10551. you've cared about this.
  10552.  
  10553. 2363
  10554. 01:34:20,220 --> 01:34:21,822
  10555. And now you're just gonna
  10556. get rid of it?
  10557.  
  10558. 2364
  10559. 01:34:21,822 --> 01:34:25,025
  10560. I'm trying to compromise here
  10561. for a bigger goal.
  10562.  
  10563. 2365
  10564. 01:34:26,025 --> 01:34:27,159
  10565. Well, I don't think
  10566. you should right now.
  10567.  
  10568. 2366
  10569. 01:34:27,159 --> 01:34:28,261
  10570. Oh, my God!
  10571.  
  10572. 2367
  10573. 01:34:28,261 --> 01:34:29,863
  10574. Of course
  10575. you don't think I should.
  10576.  
  10577. 2368
  10578. 01:34:29,863 --> 01:34:31,864
  10579. You never compromise
  10580. for anything in your life,
  10581.  
  10582. 2369
  10583. 01:34:31,864 --> 01:34:33,500
  10584. which gives you
  10585. the perfect excuse to fail.
  10586.  
  10587. 2370
  10588. 01:34:33,500 --> 01:34:36,403
  10589. Well, it's better than
  10590. maybe bending over backwards
  10591.  
  10592. 2371
  10593. 01:34:36,403 --> 01:34:37,871
  10594. for anyone who asked,
  10595.  
  10596. 2372
  10597. 01:34:37,871 --> 01:34:39,305
  10598. to the point that
  10599. you don't even know
  10600.  
  10601. 2373
  10602. 01:34:39,305 --> 01:34:40,907
  10603. why the fuck you're doing
  10604. this shit anymore!
  10605.  
  10606. 2374
  10607. 01:34:40,907 --> 01:34:42,509
  10608. In my world,
  10609. in order to achieve
  10610.  
  10611. 2375
  10612. 01:34:42,509 --> 01:34:44,444
  10613. what I'm trying to achieve,
  10614. I have to compromise.
  10615.  
  10616. 2376
  10617. 01:34:44,444 --> 01:34:45,511
  10618. Oh, why,
  10619. because you're a woman?
  10620.  
  10621. 2377
  10622. 01:34:45,511 --> 01:34:46,912
  10623. Yeah, motherfucker.
  10624.  
  10625. 2378
  10626. 01:34:46,912 --> 01:34:48,148
  10627. Okay, that makes sense.
  10628.  
  10629. 2379
  10630. 01:34:48,148 --> 01:34:50,751
  10631. And because I'm not giving up
  10632. everything I've ever wanted
  10633.  
  10634. 2380
  10635. 01:34:50,751 --> 01:34:53,052
  10636. just because it doesn't
  10637. live up to your moral code.
  10638.  
  10639. 2381
  10640. 01:34:53,052 --> 01:34:55,322
  10641. I don't care if this tape
  10642. comes out. I really don't.
  10643.  
  10644. 2382
  10645. 01:34:55,322 --> 01:34:57,322
  10646. Oh, my God, Fred.
  10647.  
  10648. 2383
  10649. 01:34:55,322 --> 01:34:57,356
  10650. I'll be okay.
  10651.  
  10652. 2384
  10653. 01:34:57,356 --> 01:34:59,261
  10654. You don't have to
  10655. do this for me.
  10656.  
  10657. 2385
  10658. 01:35:01,261 --> 01:35:03,331
  10659. You're not doing this for me.
  10660.  
  10661. 2386
  10662. 01:35:04,331 --> 01:35:05,865
  10663. Obviously.
  10664.  
  10665. 2387
  10666. 01:35:05,865 --> 01:35:09,802
  10667. Look, you and I both know
  10668.  
  10669. 2388
  10670. 01:35:09,802 --> 01:35:11,771
  10671. the woman who stands
  10672. beside the guy
  10673.  
  10674. 2389
  10675. 01:35:11,771 --> 01:35:14,106
  10676. that's coming on his face
  10677. gets way more scrutiny
  10678.  
  10679. 2390
  10680. 01:35:14,106 --> 01:35:17,109
  10681. than the guy who's actually
  10682. coming on his face.
  10683.  
  10684. 2391
  10685. 01:35:17,109 --> 01:35:18,878
  10686. Don't know if that's
  10687. happened enough
  10688.  
  10689. 2392
  10690. 01:35:18,878 --> 01:35:20,447
  10691. for there to be, like,
  10692. a precedent for it.
  10693.  
  10694. 2393
  10695. 01:35:20,447 --> 01:35:23,149
  10696. So, who knows? Maybe that
  10697. won't be the case this time.
  10698.  
  10699. 2394
  10700. 01:35:23,149 --> 01:35:24,951
  10701. Who knows? Maybe people
  10702. will think it's romantic.
  10703.  
  10704. 2395
  10705. 01:35:24,951 --> 01:35:26,485
  10706. I'm jerking...
  10707. I'm jerking off to you.
  10708.  
  10709. 2396
  10710. 01:35:26,485 --> 01:35:28,121
  10711. You don't know how people
  10712. are gonna react.
  10713.  
  10714. 2397
  10715. 01:35:28,121 --> 01:35:30,291
  10716. I'm not taking that risk.
  10717.  
  10718. 2398
  10719. 01:35:34,094 --> 01:35:35,563
  10720. I can't do it.
  10721.  
  10722. 2399
  10723. 01:35:36,563 --> 01:35:38,104
  10724. Okay.
  10725.  
  10726. 2400
  10727. 01:35:44,104 --> 01:35:47,313
  10728. So the video doesn't come out,
  10729. what happens to us?
  10730.  
  10731. 2401
  10732. 01:35:53,313 --> 01:35:57,484
  10733. I was talking to Maggie,
  10734. and she knows
  10735.  
  10736. 2402
  10737. 01:35:57,484 --> 01:35:59,953
  10738. this consultant who could
  10739. scrub your history.
  10740.  
  10741. 2403
  10742. 01:35:59,953 --> 01:36:01,488
  10743. We could make sure
  10744. nothing else like this
  10745.  
  10746. 2404
  10747. 01:36:01,488 --> 01:36:03,390
  10748. pops up and surprises us.
  10749.  
  10750. 2405
  10751. 01:36:04,390 --> 01:36:05,559
  10752. And then we just...
  10753.  
  10754. 2406
  10755. 01:36:05,559 --> 01:36:06,993
  10756. We work on your image,
  10757.  
  10758. 2407
  10759. 01:36:06,993 --> 01:36:08,929
  10760. and we figure out
  10761. how we want to
  10762.  
  10763. 2408
  10764. 01:36:08,929 --> 01:36:11,398
  10765. present ourselves
  10766. as a couple to the public.
  10767.  
  10768. 2409
  10769. 01:36:11,398 --> 01:36:12,837
  10770. That's all.
  10771.  
  10772. 2410
  10773. 01:36:17,837 --> 01:36:19,837
  10774. Okay.
  10775.  
  10776. 2411
  10777. 01:36:17,837 --> 01:36:19,972
  10778. Okay.
  10779.  
  10780. 2412
  10781. 01:36:19,972 --> 01:36:21,140
  10782. How long...
  10783. How long will it take,
  10784.  
  10785. 2413
  10786. 01:36:21,140 --> 01:36:24,109
  10787. do you think, to create
  10788.  
  10789. 2414
  10790. 01:36:24,109 --> 01:36:26,012
  10791. an image of me that we can
  10792. present to the public?
  10793.  
  10794. 2415
  10795. 01:36:27,012 --> 01:36:30,583
  10796. Just through the first couple
  10797. months of the campaign.
  10798.  
  10799. 2416
  10800. 01:36:30,583 --> 01:36:33,153
  10801. You think? But you don't
  10802. know that, right?
  10803.  
  10804. 2417
  10805. 01:36:33,153 --> 01:36:34,454
  10806. It could take longer
  10807. than that.
  10808.  
  10809. 2418
  10810. 01:36:34,454 --> 01:36:36,856
  10811. In a couple of months,
  10812. you could find
  10813. that it's not a good moment
  10814.  
  10815. 2419
  10816. 01:36:36,856 --> 01:36:39,391
  10817. to introduce
  10818. a new boyfriend, right?
  10819.  
  10820. 2420
  10821. 01:36:39,391 --> 01:36:41,595
  10822. And then we'd have to wait
  10823. a couple more months.
  10824.  
  10825. 2421
  10826. 01:36:41,595 --> 01:36:44,064
  10827. I don't know how long
  10828. it's gonna take, Fred.
  10829.  
  10830. 2422
  10831. 01:36:45,064 --> 01:36:47,333
  10832. And then meanwhile,
  10833.  
  10834. 2423
  10835. 01:36:47,333 --> 01:36:49,403
  10836. you're pretending
  10837. not to date me.
  10838.  
  10839. 2424
  10840. 01:36:50,403 --> 01:36:53,273
  10841. And you're scrubbing
  10842. my Internet history?
  10843.  
  10844. 2425
  10845. 01:36:53,273 --> 01:36:55,041
  10846. So my articles are gone.
  10847.  
  10848. 2426
  10849. 01:36:55,041 --> 01:36:56,976
  10850. And you, like, sneak me around
  10851.  
  10852. 2427
  10853. 01:36:56,976 --> 01:36:58,944
  10854. like I'm Marilyn Monroe
  10855. and you're JFK?
  10856.  
  10857. 2428
  10858. 01:36:58,944 --> 01:37:00,113
  10859. Is that what
  10860. we're talking about?
  10861.  
  10862. 2429
  10863. 01:37:00,113 --> 01:37:03,250
  10864. I just want to be clear,
  10865. that's what
  10866. we're talking about.
  10867.  
  10868. 2430
  10869. 01:37:03,250 --> 01:37:05,119
  10870. And we have to do that
  10871. because I'm...
  10872.  
  10873. 2431
  10874. 01:37:07,119 --> 01:37:08,122
  10875. ...not right.
  10876.  
  10877. 2432
  10878. 01:37:10,122 --> 01:37:12,893
  10879. And then once we present us
  10880. to the world,
  10881.  
  10882. 2433
  10883. 01:37:12,893 --> 01:37:17,134
  10884. we present a version of me
  10885. that isn't...actually me?
  10886.  
  10887. 2434
  10888. 01:37:21,134 --> 01:37:22,537
  10889. Yeah.
  10890.  
  10891. 2435
  10892. 01:37:31,578 --> 01:37:33,148
  10893. I can't do it.
  10894.  
  10895. 2436
  10896. 01:37:35,148 --> 01:37:37,250
  10897. I wish
  10898.  
  10899. 2437
  10900. 01:37:37,250 --> 01:37:40,529
  10901. that I was the type of person
  10902. that could, but I can't.
  10903.  
  10904. 2438
  10905. 01:37:49,529 --> 01:37:51,252
  10906. You don't have to do it.
  10907.  
  10908. 2439
  10909. 01:38:12,252 --> 01:38:14,253
  10910. Don't know what the fuck
  10911. I was thinking.
  10912.  
  10913. 2440
  10914. 01:38:14,253 --> 01:38:18,190
  10915. Why the fuck
  10916. I thought someone like her
  10917.  
  10918. 2441
  10919. 01:38:18,190 --> 01:38:19,025
  10920. and someone like me
  10921. could work?
  10922.  
  10923. 2442
  10924. 01:38:20,025 --> 01:38:23,162
  10925. She's a fucking politician.
  10926. Like, I don't even know her.
  10927.  
  10928. 2443
  10929. 01:38:23,162 --> 01:38:25,731
  10930. Like, I don't know who she is.
  10931.  
  10932. 2444
  10933. 01:38:25,731 --> 01:38:28,702
  10934. She has no moral compass.
  10935.  
  10936. 2445
  10937. 01:38:28,702 --> 01:38:31,371
  10938. She's working with fucking
  10939. Democrats one day,
  10940.  
  10941. 2446
  10942. 01:38:31,371 --> 01:38:32,006
  10943. Republicans the next
  10944. fucking day.
  10945.  
  10946. 2447
  10947. 01:38:33,006 --> 01:38:34,073
  10948. I mean, what's wrong
  10949. with working
  10950.  
  10951. 2448
  10952. 01:38:34,073 --> 01:38:35,442
  10953. with Democrats
  10954. and Republicans?
  10955.  
  10956. 2449
  10957. 01:38:35,442 --> 01:38:37,176
  10958. That's...
  10959. That's the whole country.
  10960.  
  10961. 2450
  10962. 01:38:37,176 --> 01:38:40,380
  10963. Uh, yeah,
  10964. except fuck Republicans,
  10965.  
  10966. 2451
  10967. 01:38:40,380 --> 01:38:42,047
  10968. I guess is the problem
  10969. with that.
  10970.  
  10971. 2452
  10972. 01:38:42,047 --> 01:38:45,452
  10973. Speaking as an American,
  10974. shouldn't you see both sides?
  10975.  
  10976. 2453
  10977. 01:38:45,452 --> 01:38:48,253
  10978. Yeah. I see
  10979. one side's fucking wrong.
  10980.  
  10981. 2454
  10982. 01:38:48,253 --> 01:38:50,756
  10983. What's the problem here?
  10984.  
  10985. 2455
  10986. 01:38:50,756 --> 01:38:52,425
  10987. I'm a Republican.
  10988.  
  10989. 2456
  10990. 01:38:52,425 --> 01:38:54,194
  10991. You're fucking joking
  10992. right now.
  10993.  
  10994. 2457
  10995. 01:38:54,194 --> 01:38:57,396
  10996. Member of the GOP!
  10997. Yeah, you know me.
  10998.  
  10999. 2458
  11000. 01:38:57,396 --> 01:38:58,731
  11001. You're a Republican.
  11002.  
  11003. 2459
  11004. 01:38:58,731 --> 01:38:59,632
  11005. Yeah, I'm a Republican!
  11006.  
  11007. 2460
  11008. 01:38:59,632 --> 01:39:02,101
  11009. The shit has worked out
  11010. so far for me.
  11011.  
  11012. 2461
  11013. 01:39:02,101 --> 01:39:03,670
  11014. What the fuck, man?
  11015.  
  11016. 2462
  11017. 01:39:03,670 --> 01:39:05,204
  11018. All that shit
  11019. you're always saying to me!
  11020.  
  11021. 2463
  11022. 01:39:05,204 --> 01:39:06,204
  11023. Yeah.
  11024.  
  11025. 2464
  11026. 01:39:05,204 --> 01:39:06,405
  11027. Pull yourself up
  11028.  
  11029. 2465
  11030. 01:39:06,405 --> 01:39:09,074
  11031. by your bootstraps. And being
  11032. in charge of your own destiny.
  11033.  
  11034. 2466
  11035. 01:39:09,074 --> 01:39:11,074
  11036. Republican shit.
  11037.  
  11038. 2467
  11039. 01:39:09,074 --> 01:39:11,310
  11040. Oh, and it worked on me.
  11041.  
  11042. 2468
  11043. 01:39:11,310 --> 01:39:13,046
  11044. And it works
  11045. on a lot of people.
  11046.  
  11047. 2469
  11048. 01:39:13,046 --> 01:39:14,213
  11049. Oh, that's fucking sick.
  11050.  
  11051. 2470
  11052. 01:39:14,213 --> 01:39:15,314
  11053. That's right.
  11054.  
  11055. 2471
  11056. 01:39:15,314 --> 01:39:16,682
  11057. Ugh! That's gross!
  11058.  
  11059. 2472
  11060. 01:39:16,682 --> 01:39:18,618
  11061. That Republican shit,
  11062. you put it in my brain
  11063.  
  11064. 2473
  11065. 01:39:18,618 --> 01:39:20,720
  11066. and it made me feel good.
  11067. That's fucked up, man!
  11068.  
  11069. 2474
  11070. 01:39:20,720 --> 01:39:22,188
  11071. Come on. See, this is what
  11072. I'm talking about,
  11073.  
  11074. 2475
  11075. 01:39:22,188 --> 01:39:23,288
  11076. your negative way of thinking.
  11077.  
  11078. 2476
  11079. 01:39:23,288 --> 01:39:24,556
  11080. I don't even know you!
  11081.  
  11082. 2477
  11083. 01:39:24,556 --> 01:39:25,556
  11084. What do you mean?
  11085.  
  11086. 2478
  11087. 01:39:24,556 --> 01:39:25,425
  11088. Ugh!
  11089.  
  11090. 2479
  11091. 01:39:25,425 --> 01:39:26,027
  11092. I'm the same dude
  11093. from two minutes ago.
  11094.  
  11095. 2480
  11096. 01:39:27,027 --> 01:39:28,094
  11097. Your best friend.
  11098.  
  11099. 2481
  11100. 01:39:28,094 --> 01:39:29,328
  11101. Why'd you never tell me this?
  11102.  
  11103. 2482
  11104. 01:39:29,328 --> 01:39:31,463
  11105. 'Cause I knew you'd act
  11106. exactly how you're acting
  11107. right now.
  11108.  
  11109. 2483
  11110. 01:39:31,463 --> 01:39:33,132
  11111. Wait a minute.
  11112.  
  11113. 2484
  11114. 01:39:33,132 --> 01:39:35,635
  11115. You're always talking
  11116. about how, like, the universe
  11117. has a plan for all of us...
  11118.  
  11119. 2485
  11120. 01:39:35,635 --> 01:39:36,603
  11121. Take it easy.
  11122.  
  11123. 2486
  11124. 01:39:36,603 --> 01:39:38,537
  11125. There's someone watching
  11126. over us at all times.
  11127.  
  11128. 2487
  11129. 01:39:38,537 --> 01:39:40,537
  11130. Yeah.
  11131.  
  11132. 2488
  11133. 01:39:38,537 --> 01:39:40,506
  11134. Does that mean...
  11135.  
  11136. 2489
  11137. 01:39:40,506 --> 01:39:41,242
  11138. I'm a man of Christian faith.
  11139.  
  11140. 2490
  11141. 01:39:42,242 --> 01:39:44,277
  11142. What the fuck!
  11143.  
  11144. 2491
  11145. 01:39:44,277 --> 01:39:45,779
  11146. Now, come on now!
  11147. We pray for you!
  11148.  
  11149. 2492
  11150. 01:39:45,779 --> 01:39:47,279
  11151. Don't pray for me! Keep it!
  11152.  
  11153. 2493
  11154. 01:39:47,279 --> 01:39:49,279
  11155. Lord.
  11156.  
  11157. 2494
  11158. 01:39:47,279 --> 01:39:49,349
  11159. Oh, stop it.
  11160. Ignore him, God!
  11161.  
  11162. 2495
  11163. 01:39:49,349 --> 01:39:51,349
  11164. He doesn't mean that.
  11165.  
  11166. 2496
  11167. 01:39:49,349 --> 01:39:51,317
  11168. Don't pray for me!
  11169.  
  11170. 2497
  11171. 01:39:51,317 --> 01:39:52,484
  11172. You are trippin' right now.
  11173.  
  11174. 2498
  11175. 01:39:52,484 --> 01:39:53,552
  11176. I'm not fucking trippin'!
  11177. How could you be Christian?
  11178.  
  11179. 2499
  11180. 01:39:53,552 --> 01:39:58,257
  11181. I wear this cross, every day,
  11182. since you've known me!
  11183.  
  11184. 2500
  11185. 01:39:58,257 --> 01:39:59,426
  11186. What did you think it was for?
  11187.  
  11188. 2501
  11189. 01:39:59,426 --> 01:40:01,828
  11190. I thought it was...
  11191.  
  11192. 2502
  11193. 01:40:01,828 --> 01:40:03,395
  11194. ...a cultural thing.
  11195.  
  11196. 2503
  11197. 01:40:03,395 --> 01:40:05,466
  11198. You mean like,
  11199. 'cause I'm black?
  11200.  
  11201. 2504
  11202. 01:40:06,466 --> 01:40:07,268
  11203. That's what
  11204. I thought, yeah.
  11205.  
  11206. 2505
  11207. 01:40:08,268 --> 01:40:09,336
  11208. That might be.
  11209.  
  11210. 2506
  11211. 01:40:09,336 --> 01:40:11,570
  11212. But that don't mean
  11213. what you said ain't racist.
  11214.  
  11215. 2507
  11216. 01:40:11,570 --> 01:40:13,570
  11217. You're right.
  11218.  
  11219. 2508
  11220. 01:40:11,570 --> 01:40:13,640
  11221. Yeah, I know I'm right!
  11222.  
  11223. 2509
  11224. 01:40:13,640 --> 01:40:15,640
  11225. Fuck.
  11226.  
  11227. 2510
  11228. 01:40:13,640 --> 01:40:15,307
  11229. That's racist as shit!
  11230.  
  11231. 2511
  11232. 01:40:15,307 --> 01:40:16,542
  11233. All right, dude...
  11234.  
  11235. 2512
  11236. 01:40:16,542 --> 01:40:18,411
  11237. I love you, man.
  11238.  
  11239. 2513
  11240. 01:40:18,411 --> 01:40:21,413
  11241. But you're very judgmental.
  11242. They don't want politics
  11243.  
  11244. 2514
  11245. 01:40:21,413 --> 01:40:23,550
  11246. to get into this,
  11247. because you've never really
  11248.  
  11249. 2515
  11250. 01:40:23,550 --> 01:40:25,350
  11251. been good at looking at shit
  11252.  
  11253. 2516
  11254. 01:40:25,350 --> 01:40:27,220
  11255. from other people's
  11256. perspective, Fred.
  11257.  
  11258. 2517
  11259. 01:40:27,220 --> 01:40:28,220
  11260. I know.
  11261.  
  11262. 2518
  11263. 01:40:27,220 --> 01:40:28,654
  11264. It might explain
  11265.  
  11266. 2519
  11267. 01:40:28,654 --> 01:40:31,390
  11268. why you haven't been able to
  11269. look at this
  11270. through Charlotte's eyes.
  11271.  
  11272. 2520
  11273. 01:40:31,390 --> 01:40:32,458
  11274. I'm sorry.
  11275.  
  11276. 2521
  11277. 01:40:32,458 --> 01:40:34,394
  11278. I'm sorry you couldn't be
  11279. who you are around me,
  11280.  
  11281. 2522
  11282. 01:40:34,394 --> 01:40:36,796
  11283. and you had to
  11284. hide your true self.
  11285.  
  11286. 2523
  11287. 01:40:36,796 --> 01:40:38,131
  11288. That's really fucked up.
  11289.  
  11290. 2524
  11291. 01:40:38,131 --> 01:40:39,198
  11292. That's all right, man.
  11293.  
  11294. 2525
  11295. 01:40:39,198 --> 01:40:43,136
  11296. But my love for the GOP
  11297. and the G-O-D
  11298.  
  11299. 2526
  11300. 01:40:43,136 --> 01:40:44,871
  11301. has nothing to do with us.
  11302.  
  11303. 2527
  11304. 01:40:44,871 --> 01:40:46,805
  11305. I'm racist.
  11306. You're a Republican.
  11307.  
  11308. 2528
  11309. 01:40:46,805 --> 01:40:49,242
  11310. I don't know
  11311. what the fuck's going on.
  11312.  
  11313. 2529
  11314. 01:40:50,609 --> 01:40:52,779
  11315. Polls suggested
  11316. I should get into yoga,
  11317.  
  11318. 2530
  11319. 01:40:52,779 --> 01:40:54,480
  11320. which I did and it turns out,
  11321.  
  11322. 2531
  11323. 01:40:54,480 --> 01:40:55,782
  11324. I don't really like yoga.
  11325.  
  11326. 2532
  11327. 01:40:55,782 --> 01:40:59,252
  11328. Don't you sometimes just wish
  11329. you could say,
  11330.  
  11331. 2533
  11332. 01:40:59,252 --> 01:41:00,453
  11333. "Fuck the polls"?
  11334.  
  11335. 2534
  11336. 01:41:00,453 --> 01:41:05,757
  11337. Well, polls say that people
  11338. find my laugh unattractive.
  11339.  
  11340. 2535
  11341. 01:41:05,757 --> 01:41:07,560
  11342. So I shouldn't laugh
  11343. in public.
  11344.  
  11345. 2536
  11346. 01:41:07,560 --> 01:41:08,694
  11347. That was a bit of a bummer,
  11348.  
  11349. 2537
  11350. 01:41:08,694 --> 01:41:11,197
  11351. because I really,
  11352. I like to laugh.
  11353.  
  11354. 2538
  11355. 01:41:11,197 --> 01:41:12,197
  11356. A lot.
  11357.  
  11358. 2539
  11359. 01:41:11,197 --> 01:41:12,631
  11360. Hmm.
  11361.  
  11362. 2540
  11363. 01:41:12,631 --> 01:41:14,766
  11364. Um, but we came up
  11365. with another laugh
  11366.  
  11367. 2541
  11368. 01:41:14,766 --> 01:41:16,502
  11369. that was better.
  11370. That's more, uh...
  11371.  
  11372. 2542
  11373. 01:41:16,502 --> 01:41:18,502
  11374. Presidential, I guess.
  11375.  
  11376. 2543
  11377. 01:41:16,502 --> 01:41:18,337
  11378. Hmm.
  11379.  
  11380. 2544
  11381. 01:41:19,872 --> 01:41:20,873
  11382. That's good.
  11383.  
  11384. 2545
  11385. 01:41:20,873 --> 01:41:22,509
  11386. It's a lot of teeth
  11387. and not too much sound.
  11388.  
  11389. 2546
  11390. 01:41:22,509 --> 01:41:25,509
  11391. Yeah.
  11392.  
  11393. 2547
  11394. 01:41:22,509 --> 01:41:25,177
  11395. Mmm.
  11396.  
  11397. 2548
  11398. 01:41:25,177 --> 01:41:27,346
  11399. So, um, after dinner,
  11400.  
  11401. 2549
  11402. 01:41:27,346 --> 01:41:28,914
  11403. how about we go
  11404. for a drink somewhere?
  11405.  
  11406. 2550
  11407. 01:41:28,914 --> 01:41:30,182
  11408. Ooh.
  11409.  
  11410. 2551
  11411. 01:41:30,182 --> 01:41:33,353
  11412. I know this great little place
  11413. that's not too far from here.
  11414.  
  11415. 2552
  11416. 01:41:33,353 --> 01:41:35,688
  11417. It's called Mini Bar.
  11418.  
  11419. 2553
  11420. 01:41:35,688 --> 01:41:39,893
  11421. It's quite exclusive, you need
  11422. a little key to access it.
  11423.  
  11424. 2554
  11425. 01:41:39,893 --> 01:41:44,197
  11426. And you get charged
  11427. as you remove the bottle.
  11428.  
  11429. 2555
  11430. 01:41:44,197 --> 01:41:45,197
  11431. Hmm.
  11432.  
  11433. 2556
  11434. 01:41:44,197 --> 01:41:45,797
  11435. It's actually more of
  11436.  
  11437. 2557
  11438. 01:41:45,797 --> 01:41:47,533
  11439. a small fridge than a bar.
  11440.  
  11441. 2558
  11442. 01:41:47,533 --> 01:41:49,533
  11443. And it's in my room...
  11444.  
  11445. 2559
  11446. 01:41:47,533 --> 01:41:49,402
  11447. No, I get it.
  11448.  
  11449. 2560
  11450. 01:41:49,402 --> 01:41:50,837
  11451. I'm inviting you
  11452. back to my room.
  11453.  
  11454. 2561
  11455. 01:41:50,837 --> 01:41:53,837
  11456. I...
  11457.  
  11458. 2562
  11459. 01:41:55,507 --> 01:41:57,507
  11460. That was my real laugh.
  11461.  
  11462. 2563
  11463. 01:41:55,507 --> 01:41:57,577
  11464. Mmm!
  11465.  
  11466. 2564
  11467. 01:41:57,577 --> 01:41:58,711
  11468. I don't know why
  11469.  
  11470. 2565
  11471. 01:41:58,711 --> 01:42:01,515
  11472. they told you
  11473. not to use that laugh.
  11474.  
  11475. 2566
  11476. 01:42:02,515 --> 01:42:03,515
  11477. It's...
  11478.  
  11479. 2567
  11480. 01:42:10,456 --> 01:42:12,358
  11481. Big day tomorrow,
  11482. Madam Secretary.
  11483.  
  11484. 2568
  11485. 01:42:14,726 --> 01:42:16,381
  11486. Yeah. Big day.
  11487.  
  11488. 2569
  11489. 01:42:36,615 --> 01:42:38,926
  11490. Okay. "Hey, it's Fred."
  11491.  
  11492. 2570
  11493. 01:43:02,341 --> 01:43:03,011
  11494. Hello?
  11495.  
  11496. 2571
  11497. 01:43:05,011 --> 01:43:06,613
  11498. Beep.
  11499.  
  11500. 2572
  11501. 01:43:06,613 --> 01:43:08,782
  11502. <i> Oh, uh, guess I got
  11503. your voicemail. Um, hi.</i>
  11504.  
  11505. 2573
  11506. 01:43:09,782 --> 01:43:11,018
  11507. It's Fred.
  11508.  
  11509. 2574
  11510. 01:43:12,018 --> 01:43:15,488
  11511. I guess I wanna start
  11512. by saying I'm really sorry.
  11513.  
  11514. 2575
  11515. 01:43:15,488 --> 01:43:17,590
  11516. You were right
  11517. about everything
  11518.  
  11519. 2576
  11520. 01:43:17,590 --> 01:43:19,394
  11521. and I was wrong
  11522. about everything.
  11523.  
  11524. 2577
  11525. 01:43:21,394 --> 01:43:25,765
  11526. And we should go along
  11527. with the plan.
  11528.  
  11529. 2578
  11530. 01:43:25,765 --> 01:43:29,369
  11531. <i> I can be Marilyn.
  11532. I can be your Marilyn.</i>
  11533.  
  11534. 2579
  11535. 01:43:30,369 --> 01:43:31,871
  11536. I'd rather be
  11537. your Lady Bird,
  11538.  
  11539. 2580
  11540. 01:43:31,871 --> 01:43:35,975
  11541. because, you know,
  11542. LBJ put a ring on that finger.
  11543.  
  11544. 2581
  11545. 01:43:37,409 --> 01:43:40,813
  11546. But I would do anything
  11547. to continue,
  11548.  
  11549. 2582
  11550. 01:43:40,813 --> 01:43:42,351
  11551. to be able to be with you.
  11552.  
  11553. 2583
  11554. 01:43:46,351 --> 01:43:47,399
  11555. Okay, bye.
  11556.  
  11557. 2584
  11558. 01:44:01,868 --> 01:44:03,603
  11559. So, we're losing
  11560. the trees, huh?
  11561.  
  11562. 2585
  11563. 01:44:03,603 --> 01:44:06,538
  11564. Yeah. POTUS talked me
  11565. out of it.
  11566.  
  11567. 2586
  11568. 01:44:06,538 --> 01:44:08,807
  11569. I know that meant
  11570. a lot to you. I'm so sorry.
  11571.  
  11572. 2587
  11573. 01:44:08,807 --> 01:44:10,676
  11574. Hmm, nothing we can do
  11575. about it.
  11576.  
  11577. 2588
  11578. 01:44:10,676 --> 01:44:12,078
  11579. We need his endorsement.
  11580.  
  11581. 2589
  11582. 01:44:12,078 --> 01:44:14,078
  11583. Yep.
  11584.  
  11585. 2590
  11586. 01:44:12,078 --> 01:44:14,082
  11587. Yep.
  11588.  
  11589. 2591
  11590. 01:44:17,082 --> 01:44:19,654
  11591. And I am sorry
  11592. about you and Fred.
  11593.  
  11594. 2592
  11595. 01:44:22,654 --> 01:44:25,824
  11596. You know,
  11597. he called last night.
  11598.  
  11599. 2593
  11600. 01:44:25,824 --> 01:44:27,960
  11601. He said he'd do it,
  11602. he'd go along with the plan.
  11603.  
  11604. 2594
  11605. 01:44:27,960 --> 01:44:31,363
  11606. Really? Wow.
  11607.  
  11608. 2595
  11609. 01:44:31,363 --> 01:44:33,900
  11610. That's a shock.
  11611.  
  11612. 2596
  11613. 01:44:34,900 --> 01:44:38,637
  11614. Um... Okay.
  11615.  
  11616. 2597
  11617. 01:44:38,637 --> 01:44:40,038
  11618. I'll... I'll start
  11619. to make arrangements.
  11620.  
  11621. 2598
  11622. 01:44:40,038 --> 01:44:41,908
  11623. No, Maggie.
  11624.  
  11625. 2599
  11626. 01:44:41,908 --> 01:44:43,509
  11627. There's nothing to do.
  11628.  
  11629. 2600
  11630. 01:44:43,509 --> 01:44:45,381
  11631. At the end of the day,
  11632. it was never gonna work.
  11633.  
  11634. 2601
  11635. 01:44:48,381 --> 01:44:51,551
  11636. Well, today is
  11637. such a good day,
  11638.  
  11639. 2602
  11640. 01:44:51,551 --> 01:44:53,519
  11641. and I am so excited.
  11642.  
  11643. 2603
  11644. 01:44:53,519 --> 01:44:54,987
  11645. We should be psyched.
  11646.  
  11647. 2604
  11648. 01:44:54,987 --> 01:44:57,590
  11649. So psyched.
  11650.  
  11651. 2605
  11652. 01:44:57,590 --> 01:44:59,725
  11653. All right,
  11654. I will see you out there.
  11655.  
  11656. 2606
  11657. 01:44:59,725 --> 01:45:00,979
  11658. All right.
  11659.  
  11660. 2607
  11661. 01:45:19,979 --> 01:45:21,014
  11662. Hey, man.
  11663.  
  11664. 2608
  11665. 01:45:22,014 --> 01:45:23,684
  11666. Can I get a beer?
  11667.  
  11668. 2609
  11669. 01:45:24,684 --> 01:45:27,684
  11670. Thanks for coming.
  11671.  
  11672. 2610
  11673. 01:45:24,684 --> 01:45:27,854
  11674. No problem, bro.
  11675.  
  11676. 2611
  11677. 01:45:27,854 --> 01:45:30,489
  11678. How you feelin' though?
  11679.  
  11680. 2612
  11681. 01:45:30,489 --> 01:45:32,524
  11682. Okay, you know,
  11683. you were right.
  11684.  
  11685. 2613
  11686. 01:45:32,524 --> 01:45:33,725
  11687. I called her.
  11688.  
  11689. 2614
  11690. 01:45:33,725 --> 01:45:35,560
  11691. I left a message.
  11692. She didn't call me back.
  11693.  
  11694. 2615
  11695. 01:45:35,560 --> 01:45:37,596
  11696. So... Whatever.
  11697.  
  11698. 2616
  11699. 01:45:37,596 --> 01:45:38,899
  11700. Sure you wanna watch this?
  11701.  
  11702. 2617
  11703. 01:45:39,899 --> 01:45:41,603
  11704. Yeah, I have to.
  11705.  
  11706. 2618
  11707. 01:45:43,603 --> 01:45:46,171
  11708. Madam Secretary,
  11709. I'd like to introduce you
  11710.  
  11711. 2619
  11712. 01:45:46,171 --> 01:45:47,106
  11713. to Lil Yachty.
  11714.  
  11715. 2620
  11716. 01:45:47,106 --> 01:45:48,007
  11717. He's going to be
  11718. performing after the speech.
  11719.  
  11720. 2621
  11721. 01:45:49,007 --> 01:45:50,542
  11722. Pleasure to meet you,
  11723. Mr. Yachty.
  11724.  
  11725. 2622
  11726. 01:45:50,542 --> 01:45:52,878
  11727. I'm a big-ass fan. I'm so
  11728. excited to vote for you.
  11729.  
  11730. 2623
  11731. 01:45:52,878 --> 01:45:54,878
  11732. I'm sorry, it's game time.
  11733.  
  11734. 2624
  11735. 01:45:52,878 --> 01:45:54,417
  11736. Okay.
  11737.  
  11738. 2625
  11739. 01:46:12,998 --> 01:46:14,699
  11740. <i> Good morning!</i>
  11741.  
  11742. 2626
  11743. 01:46:14,699 --> 01:46:17,938
  11744. <i> Thank you, everyone,
  11745. for being here with me today.</i>
  11746.  
  11747. 2627
  11748. 01:46:18,938 --> 01:46:20,539
  11749. <i> Let me start
  11750. by saying something</i>
  11751.  
  11752. 2628
  11753. 01:46:20,539 --> 01:46:22,908
  11754. <i>I haven't said since I was 16</i>
  11755.  
  11756. 2629
  11757. 01:46:22,908 --> 01:46:24,976
  11758. <i> and worked
  11759. at Blockbuster Video.</i>
  11760.  
  11761. 2630
  11762. 01:46:27,212 --> 01:46:28,514
  11763. <i> I quit...</i>
  11764.  
  11765. 2631
  11766. 01:46:28,514 --> 01:46:30,649
  11767. I helped write that joke.
  11768.  
  11769. 2632
  11770. 01:46:30,649 --> 01:46:31,850
  11771. Oh, yeah?
  11772. That's a good joke.
  11773.  
  11774. 2633
  11775. 01:46:31,850 --> 01:46:33,953
  11776. <i> ...as secretary of state,</i>
  11777.  
  11778. 2634
  11779. 01:46:33,953 --> 01:46:35,587
  11780. <i> in order to run</i>
  11781.  
  11782. 2635
  11783. 01:46:35,587 --> 01:46:38,757
  11784. <i> for president of
  11785. the United States of America.</i>
  11786.  
  11787. 2636
  11788. 01:46:41,961 --> 01:46:43,731
  11789. God bless.
  11790.  
  11791. 2637
  11792. 01:46:46,731 --> 01:46:49,234
  11793. <i> And I'm honored</i>
  11794.  
  11795. 2638
  11796. 01:46:49,234 --> 01:46:52,971
  11797. <i> to have the full support
  11798. of President Chambers,</i>
  11799.  
  11800. 2639
  11801. 01:46:52,971 --> 01:46:55,675
  11802. <i> a man I greatly admire.</i>
  11803.  
  11804. 2640
  11805. 01:46:55,675 --> 01:46:59,045
  11806. <i> A man who is
  11807. an extraordinary leader.</i>
  11808.  
  11809. 2641
  11810. 01:46:59,045 --> 01:47:00,113
  11811. Man, you know
  11812. who you should date?
  11813.  
  11814. 2642
  11815. 01:47:02,113 --> 01:47:03,817
  11816. Taylor Swift.
  11817.  
  11818. 2643
  11819. 01:47:04,817 --> 01:47:06,819
  11820. Hell, yeah.
  11821. I could see that.
  11822.  
  11823. 2644
  11824. 01:47:06,819 --> 01:47:10,756
  11825. Why... Why do you think
  11826. I could date Taylor Swift?
  11827.  
  11828. 2645
  11829. 01:47:10,756 --> 01:47:12,557
  11830. Fred, you were dating
  11831. Charlotte Field.
  11832.  
  11833. 2646
  11834. 01:47:12,557 --> 01:47:14,060
  11835. That's the most powerful woman
  11836. on Earth!
  11837.  
  11838. 2647
  11839. 01:47:14,060 --> 01:47:15,595
  11840. Oh, I get it.
  11841.  
  11842. 2648
  11843. 01:47:15,595 --> 01:47:17,930
  11844. I don't know what me and
  11845. Taylor Swift have in common.
  11846.  
  11847. 2649
  11848. 01:47:18,930 --> 01:47:22,868
  11849. Y'all white. Ya ain't got
  11850. a care in the world.
  11851.  
  11852. 2650
  11853. 01:47:22,868 --> 01:47:24,103
  11854. That's true.
  11855.  
  11856. 2651
  11857. 01:47:24,103 --> 01:47:26,771
  11858. <i> But this campaign
  11859. is not about me.</i>
  11860.  
  11861. 2652
  11862. 01:47:26,771 --> 01:47:28,608
  11863. <i> It's about you.</i>
  11864.  
  11865. 2653
  11866. 01:47:28,608 --> 01:47:29,841
  11867. <i> It's about us.</i>
  11868.  
  11869. 2654
  11870. 01:47:31,042 --> 01:47:32,645
  11871. <i>It's about how together,</i>
  11872.  
  11873. 2655
  11874. 01:47:32,645 --> 01:47:36,716
  11875. <i>we can build the future
  11876. our fellow Americans deserve.</i>
  11877.  
  11878. 2656
  11879. 01:47:39,819 --> 01:47:42,787
  11880. <i> I have dreamt
  11881. about this moment</i>
  11882.  
  11883. 2657
  11884. 01:47:42,787 --> 01:47:44,024
  11885. <i> ever since
  11886. I was a little girl</i>
  11887.  
  11888. 2658
  11889. 01:47:45,024 --> 01:47:47,761
  11890. <i> growing up
  11891. in the nation's capital.</i>
  11892.  
  11893. 2659
  11894. 01:47:49,761 --> 01:47:53,298
  11895. <i> And I know
  11896. that if that young girl</i>
  11897.  
  11898. 2660
  11899. 01:47:53,298 --> 01:47:56,604
  11900. <i>could see me
  11901. standing up here right now...</i>
  11902.  
  11903. 2661
  11904. 01:48:02,073 --> 01:48:04,845
  11905. <i> She would be so...</i>
  11906.  
  11907. 2662
  11908. 01:48:07,979 --> 01:48:09,122
  11909. <i> She would be...</i>
  11910.  
  11911. 2663
  11912. 01:48:16,122 --> 01:48:17,858
  11913. What's happening?
  11914.  
  11915. 2664
  11916. 01:48:18,858 --> 01:48:22,195
  11917. <i>She... She would be so
  11918. disappointed in me, actually.</i>
  11919.  
  11920. 2665
  11921. 01:48:24,195 --> 01:48:27,733
  11922. <i>Yeah, the truth is, that girl</i>
  11923.  
  11924. 2666
  11925. 01:48:27,733 --> 01:48:28,935
  11926. <i> would want me to be honest</i>
  11927.  
  11928. 2667
  11929. 01:48:28,935 --> 01:48:31,604
  11930. <i> and have integrity and not be</i>
  11931.  
  11932. 2668
  11933. 01:48:31,604 --> 01:48:35,243
  11934. <i> blackmailed by evil people
  11935. with evil agendas.</i>
  11936.  
  11937. 2669
  11938. 01:48:37,243 --> 01:48:39,078
  11939. <i>So instead, I'm just gonna...</i>
  11940.  
  11941. 2670
  11942. 01:48:39,078 --> 01:48:42,213
  11943. <i>I'm just gonna tell the truth,
  11944. and whatever happens, happens.</i>
  11945.  
  11946. 2671
  11947. 01:48:42,213 --> 01:48:44,213
  11948. <i> So here we go.</i>
  11949.  
  11950. 2672
  11951. 01:48:44,182 --> 01:48:47,853
  11952. <i>Parker Wembley
  11953. and our dumb-fuck president...</i>
  11954.  
  11955. 2673
  11956. 01:48:47,853 --> 01:48:49,154
  11957. Whoo!
  11958.  
  11959. 2674
  11960. 01:48:49,154 --> 01:48:50,355
  11961. <i> ...are doing some
  11962. evil shit together.</i>
  11963.  
  11964. 2675
  11965. 01:48:50,355 --> 01:48:52,091
  11966. <i> And because
  11967. I just told you now,</i>
  11968.  
  11969. 2676
  11970. 01:48:52,091 --> 01:48:55,694
  11971. <i> they're going to release
  11972. a video of a guy I dated</i>
  11973.  
  11974. 2677
  11975. 01:48:55,694 --> 01:48:57,029
  11976. <i> jerking off all over himself.</i>
  11977.  
  11978. 2678
  11979. 01:48:58,029 --> 01:48:58,030
  11980. Release the video.
  11981.  
  11982. 2679
  11983. 01:48:59,030 --> 01:49:01,100
  11984. Get the fucking thing online.
  11985. Get it online!
  11986.  
  11987. 2680
  11988. 01:49:01,100 --> 01:49:03,904
  11989. <i>But don't slut shame me. I...</i>
  11990.  
  11991. 2681
  11992. 01:49:04,904 --> 01:49:05,706
  11993. <i> I like him.</i>
  11994.  
  11995. 2682
  11996. 01:49:06,706 --> 01:49:08,274
  11997. <i> I like him a lot.</i>
  11998.  
  11999. 2683
  12000. 01:49:08,274 --> 01:49:10,377
  12001. Fred, you gotta go to her.
  12002.  
  12003. 2684
  12004. 01:49:12,377 --> 01:49:14,646
  12005. Go get her ass, man.
  12006.  
  12007. 2685
  12008. 01:49:14,646 --> 01:49:15,317
  12009. <i> And he jerks off.</i>
  12010.  
  12011. 2686
  12012. 01:49:18,317 --> 01:49:20,386
  12013. <i> And so do all of you.</i>
  12014.  
  12015. 2687
  12016. 01:49:20,386 --> 01:49:21,654
  12017. Hell, yeah!
  12018.  
  12019. 2688
  12020. 01:49:21,654 --> 01:49:23,855
  12021. <i> So deal with it.</i>
  12022.  
  12023. 2689
  12024. 01:49:23,855 --> 01:49:25,029
  12025. <i> Deal with it, America.</i>
  12026.  
  12027. 2690
  12028. 01:49:34,265 --> 01:49:36,301
  12029. Hey! I'm Fred!
  12030.  
  12031. 2691
  12032. 01:49:36,301 --> 01:49:37,970
  12033. Is that an XL?
  12034.  
  12035. 2692
  12036. 01:49:37,970 --> 01:49:39,238
  12037. I've got five stars in it,
  12038.  
  12039. 2693
  12040. 01:49:39,238 --> 01:49:40,739
  12041. if you could speed
  12042. this shit up, man!
  12043.  
  12044. 2694
  12045. 01:49:40,739 --> 01:49:42,073
  12046. We'll give you extra tip,
  12047. real tip.
  12048.  
  12049. 2695
  12050. 01:49:42,073 --> 01:49:43,408
  12051. Not Uber tip! Cash tip!
  12052.  
  12053. 2696
  12054. 01:49:43,408 --> 01:49:45,847
  12055. Get back! Get back!
  12056.  
  12057. 2697
  12058. 01:49:48,847 --> 01:49:50,847
  12059. Where are we going?
  12060.  
  12061. 2698
  12062. 01:49:48,847 --> 01:49:50,150
  12063. I don't know.
  12064.  
  12065. 2699
  12066. 01:49:54,886 --> 01:49:56,154
  12067. She's leaving?
  12068. Where is she going?
  12069.  
  12070. 2700
  12071. 01:49:56,154 --> 01:49:57,957
  12072. Shit, I don't know.
  12073. This isn't on the itinerary.
  12074.  
  12075. 2701
  12076. 01:49:57,957 --> 01:50:00,126
  12077. Tom, you have to think past
  12078. the itinerary!
  12079.  
  12080. 2702
  12081. 01:50:00,126 --> 01:50:01,060
  12082. I can't.
  12083.  
  12084. 2703
  12085. 01:50:01,060 --> 01:50:02,895
  12086. Fred, I just got
  12087. a Wembley news alert
  12088.  
  12089. 2704
  12090. 01:50:02,895 --> 01:50:05,895
  12091. with your name on it.
  12092.  
  12093. 2705
  12094. 01:50:02,895 --> 01:50:05,096
  12095. Don't open it!
  12096.  
  12097. 2706
  12098. 01:50:05,096 --> 01:50:07,800
  12099. <i>Oh, yeah! Oh, boy!</i>
  12100.  
  12101. 2707
  12102. 01:50:07,800 --> 01:50:09,201
  12103. Oh, Fred!
  12104.  
  12105. 2708
  12106. 01:50:09,201 --> 01:50:12,203
  12107. Oh, no. Oh, no.
  12108.  
  12109. 2709
  12110. 01:50:12,203 --> 01:50:13,405
  12111. Hey, it's all right, man.
  12112.  
  12113. 2710
  12114. 01:50:13,405 --> 01:50:15,073
  12115. You know,
  12116. we all got our things.
  12117.  
  12118. 2711
  12119. 01:50:15,073 --> 01:50:16,775
  12120. I don't bust a nut
  12121. on my face.
  12122.  
  12123. 2712
  12124. 01:50:16,775 --> 01:50:18,775
  12125. But, like...
  12126.  
  12127. 2713
  12128. 01:50:16,775 --> 01:50:18,978
  12129. It's not like
  12130. a thing I do!
  12131.  
  12132. 2714
  12133. 01:50:20,145 --> 01:50:21,980
  12134. Do you think that'll,
  12135. like, go viral?
  12136.  
  12137. 2715
  12138. 01:50:21,980 --> 01:50:24,417
  12139. This is the news!
  12140.  
  12141. 2716
  12142. 01:50:25,417 --> 01:50:27,027
  12143. Oh, shit.
  12144.  
  12145. 2717
  12146. 01:50:35,027 --> 01:50:38,264
  12147. Excuse me. Move, damn it!
  12148. This man is in love.
  12149.  
  12150. 2718
  12151. 01:50:38,264 --> 01:50:40,131
  12152. <i> Secretary Field
  12153. just drove away,</i>
  12154.  
  12155. 2719
  12156. 01:50:40,131 --> 01:50:42,201
  12157. <i> no comment
  12158. as to her destination.</i>
  12159.  
  12160. 2720
  12161. 01:50:42,201 --> 01:50:44,336
  12162. <i> We're gonna keep tracking
  12163. this story for you...</i>
  12164.  
  12165. 2721
  12166. 01:50:44,336 --> 01:50:46,171
  12167. <i> Yo, check it out.
  12168. It's the come-guy!</i>
  12169.  
  12170. 2722
  12171. 01:50:46,171 --> 01:50:47,171
  12172. <i> Yeah, that's him!</i>
  12173.  
  12174. 2723
  12175. 01:50:46,171 --> 01:50:47,872
  12176. <i> Oh, sir,</i>
  12177.  
  12178. 2724
  12179. 01:50:47,872 --> 01:50:49,074
  12180. <i> just a couple of questions.
  12181. We're live right now.</i>
  12182.  
  12183. 2725
  12184. 01:50:49,074 --> 01:50:52,211
  12185. <i> No! I'm come-guy?</i>
  12186.  
  12187. 2726
  12188. 01:50:52,211 --> 01:50:53,912
  12189. No comments at this time,
  12190. thank you! Thank you!
  12191.  
  12192. 2727
  12193. 01:50:53,912 --> 01:50:55,046
  12194. Thank you!
  12195.  
  12196. 2728
  12197. 01:50:55,046 --> 01:50:57,896
  12198. Do not touch him!
  12199. Do not touch him!
  12200.  
  12201. 2729
  12202. 01:51:11,896 --> 01:51:12,966
  12203. Hi.
  12204.  
  12205. 2730
  12206. 01:51:13,966 --> 01:51:15,235
  12207. Holy shit.
  12208.  
  12209. 2731
  12210. 01:51:17,235 --> 01:51:18,005
  12211. Did you see my speech?
  12212.  
  12213. 2732
  12214. 01:51:20,005 --> 01:51:22,208
  12215. Yeah. I think
  12216. everyone saw it.
  12217.  
  12218. 2733
  12219. 01:51:23,208 --> 01:51:24,011
  12220. Yeah.
  12221.  
  12222. 2734
  12223. 01:51:27,011 --> 01:51:28,849
  12224. You know,
  12225. your video's out there.
  12226.  
  12227. 2735
  12228. 01:51:29,849 --> 01:51:31,356
  12229. Yeah, I caught that.
  12230.  
  12231. 2736
  12232. 01:51:38,356 --> 01:51:40,094
  12233. Here's the deal.
  12234. I love you.
  12235.  
  12236. 2737
  12237. 01:51:42,094 --> 01:51:44,195
  12238. I know I do.
  12239.  
  12240. 2738
  12241. 01:51:44,195 --> 01:51:47,136
  12242. Because I've never been
  12243. so scared in my entire life.
  12244.  
  12245. 2739
  12246. 01:51:50,136 --> 01:51:54,175
  12247. And I once shared an elevator
  12248. with Saddam Hussein.
  12249.  
  12250. 2740
  12251. 01:51:56,175 --> 01:51:58,412
  12252. Just me and Saddam.
  12253.  
  12254. 2741
  12255. 01:52:01,412 --> 01:52:03,217
  12256. And this is way scarier.
  12257.  
  12258. 2742
  12259. 01:52:06,217 --> 01:52:07,890
  12260. I love you.
  12261.  
  12262. 2743
  12263. 01:52:10,890 --> 01:52:13,359
  12264. Okay, you're really gonna have
  12265. to say something right now.
  12266.  
  12267. 2744
  12268. 01:52:13,359 --> 01:52:14,829
  12269. 'Cause I'm freaking out.
  12270.  
  12271. 2745
  12272. 01:52:17,829 --> 01:52:20,568
  12273. I've been in love with you
  12274. since I was 12 years old.
  12275.  
  12276. 2746
  12277. 01:52:41,220 --> 01:52:42,922
  12278. Oh.
  12279.  
  12280. 2747
  12281. 01:52:43,922 --> 01:52:44,990
  12282. Hello?
  12283.  
  12284. 2748
  12285. 01:52:44,990 --> 01:52:48,060
  12286. Hey, Fred, uh, there's
  12287. a million people out here
  12288.  
  12289. 2749
  12290. 01:52:48,060 --> 01:52:50,462
  12291. and they want to talk
  12292. to the candidate
  12293. and the come-guy.
  12294.  
  12295. 2750
  12296. 01:52:50,462 --> 01:52:52,009
  12297. So, I figured they'd hit you.
  12298.  
  12299. 2751
  12300. 01:53:13,185 --> 01:53:14,487
  12301. Fred!
  12302.  
  12303. 2752
  12304. 01:53:15,487 --> 01:53:17,328
  12305. Fred!
  12306.  
  12307. 2753
  12308. 01:53:22,328 --> 01:53:25,264
  12309. A crazy day.
  12310.  
  12311. 2754
  12312. 01:53:25,264 --> 01:53:27,498
  12313. But I'm really glad
  12314. you're all here.
  12315.  
  12316. 2755
  12317. 01:53:27,498 --> 01:53:29,935
  12318. I'd like to introduce you
  12319. to someone.
  12320.  
  12321. 2756
  12322. 01:53:30,935 --> 01:53:32,637
  12323. This is Fred.
  12324.  
  12325. 2757
  12326. 01:53:32,637 --> 01:53:33,506
  12327. Hi, there.
  12328.  
  12329. 2758
  12330. 01:53:35,506 --> 01:53:37,506
  12331. My boyfriend.
  12332.  
  12333. 2759
  12334. 01:53:37,509 --> 01:53:38,180
  12335. Whoo!
  12336.  
  12337. 2760
  12338. 01:53:42,180 --> 01:53:44,115
  12339. You kind of
  12340. know him already,
  12341.  
  12342. 2761
  12343. 01:53:44,115 --> 01:53:46,217
  12344. but you'll get
  12345. to know him
  12346. a lot more
  12347.  
  12348. 2762
  12349. 01:53:46,217 --> 01:53:47,720
  12350. in the next few months...
  12351.  
  12352. 2763
  12353. 01:53:48,720 --> 01:53:51,356
  12354. 'Cause he's gonna be
  12355. right by my side
  12356. on my campaign trail.
  12357.  
  12358. 2764
  12359. 01:54:02,001 --> 01:54:03,077
  12360. Wakanda Forever!
  12361.  
  12362. 2765
  12363. 01:54:12,077 --> 01:54:14,345
  12364. Charlotte! Charlotte!
  12365.  
  12366. 2766
  12367. 01:54:14,345 --> 01:54:16,117
  12368. Charlotte! Charlotte!
  12369.  
  12370. 2767
  12371. 01:54:18,117 --> 01:54:19,585
  12372. I started the chant!
  12373.  
  12374. 2768
  12375. 01:54:19,585 --> 01:54:21,256
  12376. I started that chant!
  12377.  
  12378. 2769
  12379. 01:54:25,256 --> 01:54:26,958
  12380. <i> ...that I will
  12381. faithfully execute</i>
  12382.  
  12383. 2770
  12384. 01:54:26,958 --> 01:54:30,194
  12385. <i> the office of the president
  12386. of the United States.</i>
  12387.  
  12388. 2771
  12389. 01:54:30,194 --> 01:54:31,563
  12390. <i>What a momentous day,</i>
  12391.  
  12392. 2772
  12393. 01:54:31,563 --> 01:54:33,064
  12394. <i> our first female president.</i>
  12395.  
  12396. 2773
  12397. 01:54:33,064 --> 01:54:34,000
  12398. <i> I never thought I'd see it.</i>
  12399.  
  12400. 2774
  12401. 01:54:35,000 --> 01:54:36,702
  12402. <i>Well, I mean, a lot of people
  12403. are gonna say</i>
  12404.  
  12405. 2775
  12406. 01:54:36,702 --> 01:54:38,703
  12407. <i> this is a historic moment
  12408. for women everywhere,</i>
  12409.  
  12410. 2776
  12411. 01:54:38,703 --> 01:54:40,972
  12412. <i> but do we really want
  12413. her finger on the button</i>
  12414.  
  12415. 2777
  12416. 01:54:40,972 --> 01:54:42,307
  12417. <i> when it's that time
  12418. of the month?</i>
  12419.  
  12420. 2778
  12421. 01:54:42,307 --> 01:54:44,176
  12422. <i> I wouldn't want
  12423. my wife making any decision</i>
  12424.  
  12425. 2779
  12426. 01:54:44,176 --> 01:54:45,511
  12427. <i> during that time
  12428. of the month.</i>
  12429.  
  12430. 2780
  12431. 01:54:45,511 --> 01:54:47,345
  12432. <i> You know what?
  12433. Fuck you guys. I quit.</i>
  12434.  
  12435. 2781
  12436. 01:54:47,345 --> 01:54:48,948
  12437. <i> Looks like it's someone's
  12438. time of the month.</i>
  12439.  
  12440. 2782
  12441. 01:54:48,948 --> 01:54:50,481
  12442. <i> Oh!
  12443. Looks like Aunt Flow</i>
  12444.  
  12445. 2783
  12446. 01:54:50,481 --> 01:54:52,350
  12447. <i> is going to work down at
  12448. the Red River Casino... Oh!</i>
  12449.  
  12450. 2784
  12451. 01:54:52,350 --> 01:54:53,586
  12452. Jesus Christ!
  12453. Quick, quick, cut!
  12454.  
  12455. 2785
  12456. 01:54:53,586 --> 01:54:57,957
  12457. Hi! I'm the First Mister of
  12458. the United States of America.
  12459.  
  12460. 2786
  12461. 01:54:57,957 --> 01:54:59,425
  12462. My name is Fred Field.
  12463.  
  12464. 2787
  12465. 01:54:59,425 --> 01:55:00,592
  12466. I took my wife's last name.
  12467.  
  12468. 2788
  12469. 01:55:00,592 --> 01:55:04,662
  12470. And, uh, I'm gonna give you
  12471. a tour of the White House.
  12472.  
  12473. 2789
  12474. 01:55:04,662 --> 01:55:07,632
  12475. We're starting
  12476. with the portraits
  12477. of the first spouses.
  12478.  
  12479. 2790
  12480. 01:55:07,632 --> 01:55:09,501
  12481. Here we have
  12482. Mamie Eisenhower.
  12483.  
  12484. 2791
  12485. 01:55:09,501 --> 01:55:10,569
  12486. Jackie Kennedy.
  12487.  
  12488. 2792
  12489. 01:55:10,569 --> 01:55:13,404
  12490. We have the beautiful
  12491. Lady Bird Johnson's portrait.
  12492.  
  12493. 2793
  12494. 01:55:13,404 --> 01:55:16,140
  12495. And that leads us
  12496. into my portrait.
  12497.  
  12498. 2794
  12499. 01:55:16,140 --> 01:55:18,409
  12500. It was painted by
  12501. Todd McFarlane,
  12502.  
  12503. 2795
  12504. 01:55:18,409 --> 01:55:20,979
  12505. who created the Spawn comics,
  12506. of course.
  12507.  
  12508. 2796
  12509. 01:55:20,979 --> 01:55:22,382
  12510. <i> The first versions
  12511. were a little over the top.</i>
  12512.  
  12513. 2797
  12514. 01:55:24,382 --> 01:55:26,452
  12515. Hi, guys.
  12516.  
  12517. 2798
  12518. 01:55:26,452 --> 01:55:28,319
  12519. <i> I used to think
  12520. the best way
  12521. for me to change the world,</i>
  12522.  
  12523. 2799
  12524. 01:55:28,319 --> 01:55:30,221
  12525. to make it a better place
  12526. was through journalism.
  12527.  
  12528. 2800
  12529. 01:55:30,221 --> 01:55:31,689
  12530. Then I realized
  12531. that's not at all the case.
  12532.  
  12533. 2801
  12534. 01:55:31,689 --> 01:55:35,293
  12535. Really, the best thing I could
  12536. be doing for the world
  12537.  
  12538. 2802
  12539. 01:55:35,293 --> 01:55:38,296
  12540. is just supporting
  12541. this amazing person
  12542.  
  12543. 2803
  12544. 01:55:38,296 --> 01:55:40,099
  12545. and just trying to
  12546. learn from her
  12547.  
  12548. 2804
  12549. 01:55:40,099 --> 01:55:41,632
  12550. and kinda just trying to be
  12551.  
  12552. 2805
  12553. 01:55:41,632 --> 01:55:44,168
  12554. the best first mister
  12555. I can be.
  12556.  
  12557. 2806
  12558. 01:55:44,168 --> 01:55:46,738
  12559. I actually got a tattoo
  12560. of the first mister insignia.
  12561.  
  12562. 2807
  12563. 01:55:46,738 --> 01:55:49,738
  12564. He did.
  12565.  
  12566. 2808
  12567. 01:55:46,738 --> 01:55:49,541
  12568. There we are.
  12569.  
  12570. 2809
  12571. 01:55:49,541 --> 01:55:50,708
  12572. You're wearing mittens.
  12573.  
  12574. 2810
  12575. 01:55:50,708 --> 01:55:52,110
  12576. Got little mittens on.
  12577.  
  12578. 2811
  12579. 01:55:52,110 --> 01:55:54,613
  12580. If you think of where this tattoo
  12581. started to where it ended up.
  12582.  
  12583. 2812
  12584. 01:55:54,613 --> 01:55:56,547
  12585. It really has
  12586. an amazing arc to it.
  12587.  
  12588. 2813
  12589. 01:55:56,547 --> 01:55:59,484
  12590. What are some of
  12591. the perks of your new roles?
  12592.  
  12593. 2814
  12594. 01:55:59,484 --> 01:56:02,787
  12595. Well, I finally get to enact
  12596. my vision for America.
  12597.  
  12598. 2815
  12599. 01:56:02,787 --> 01:56:04,024
  12600. I finally got to find out
  12601. who killed Kennedy.
  12602.  
  12603. 2816
  12604. 01:56:05,024 --> 01:56:06,024
  12605. Oh, my God. Don't you dare.
  12606.  
  12607. 2817
  12608. 01:56:05,024 --> 01:56:06,257
  12609. I won't say.
  12610.  
  12611. 2818
  12612. 01:56:06,257 --> 01:56:07,257
  12613. Don't.
  12614.  
  12615. 2819
  12616. 01:56:06,257 --> 01:56:07,426
  12617. I won't say.
  12618.  
  12619. 2820
  12620. 01:56:07,426 --> 01:56:08,527
  12621. Fred, I'm not
  12622. kidding around.
  12623.  
  12624. 2821
  12625. 01:56:08,527 --> 01:56:09,595
  12626. It's not who you think!
  12627.  
  12628. 2822
  12629. 01:56:09,595 --> 01:56:11,130
  12630. Don't do it.
  12631.  
  12632. 2823
  12633. 01:56:11,130 --> 01:56:12,131
  12634. It's pretty surprising.
  12635.  
  12636. 2824
  12637. 01:56:13,131 --> 01:56:14,632
  12638. He's my Mister.
  12639.  
  12640. 2825
  12641. 01:56:14,632 --> 01:56:17,000
  12642. I'm her Mister.
  12643. And she's my president.
  12644.  
  12645. 2826
  12646. 01:56:50,000 --> 01:57:00,000
  12647. Sub By Black Hawk
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