NameIsJolly

Retarded Boy goes to Fluffy Petting Zoo

Apr 4th, 2012
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  1. >Be retarded
  2. >Mommy takes you to the petting zoo
  3. >You like the petting zoo
  4. >Especially the fluffy pony corral
  5. >You like the soft fluff and the bright colors
  6. >You go there last, because you like to save the best for last
  7. >Enter the fluffy pony corral
  8. >All the fluffies are happy to see you
  9. >"New fwein!" "Fwuffy wan' get huggies fuws!"
  10. >You instantly fall down and let the fluffies wash over you
  11. >People are staring, but you don't care; you're retarded
  12. >You really like the fluffies
  13. >One of them might have pissed on your shirt
  14. >You get up and look down, throwing some fluffy ponies to the floor roughly as you do so
  15. >Yes, there's piss on your shirt
  16. >You don't care, it feels warm
  17. >Some fluffies-the fluffies who have been here long enough to witness your visits before-stay to the back of the corral
  18. >New fluffies egg them on, "Why fwuffy scawed? New fwein'! Com get huggies!"
  19. >They shake their heads
  20. >"Nooo! Bad munsta bad munsta! Stay away! Huwt fwuffies!"
  21. >The newer fluffies shun the older, sage-liike fluffies' advice and go to try to hug you
  22. >Of course, you don't notice any of this
  23. >You look down at the ponies you threw on the ground
  24.  
  25. >They're all obviously hurt, some of them might have bruises beneath their fluff
  26. >You don't get this concept of their injury- you bend down to see why they're crying and not playing
  27. >"Owwie! Munsta gif fwuffy big boo-boo!"
  28. >Other fluffies rush to their aid
  29. >You barely notice your mommy leave you there to go to the mini-bar for happy hour
  30. >The able-bodied fluffies hug all of the hurt fluffies
  31. >"Pwease don' cwy! Fwuffy gif huggies make feew bettow!"
  32. >Give huggies = heal injuries
  33. >Makes sense!
  34. >You grab the nearest injured fluffy from the tender grasp of the others
  35. >One won't let go, so you shake it to the ground; just creating one more injured fluffy
  36. "Sorry Fuffy! I gunna hug you betts!"
  37. >"Nooo! Meenie put fwuffy down!"
  38. >Its cries for help are soon stifled by your titanic grasp
  39. >You press it towards your chest with every iota of strength you have in you
  40. >It starts making gurgling noises, but you ignore them
  41. >Eventually, the gurgling stops and you look at the fluffy
  42. >Blood is pouring from its mouth and nose like a geyser
  43. >Its eyes have gone up to the back of its skull
  44. >This fluffy is scary, you don't like it
  45.  
  46. "Dummy pony! None hug!"
  47. >You wail and shake the fluffy
  48. >Splashes of its blood spray onto its peers and soon the fluffies run away from the "Scawy munsta"
  49. >Leaving behind their broken friends
  50. >In stomping a foot down, you crush the skulls of one of the disabled fluffies
  51. >You stamp around the corral, shaking the murder-victim fluffy around like a maniac
  52. >Fluffies have groaned and lurched their way over to the one you curb-stomped to hug it and make its "booboos go 'way", fighting through their broken-leggie pain
  53. >"Whew fwien' hed go?"
  54. >"Why weggies huwt? Why dis munsta happen?"
  55. >The rest of the fluffies have piled up in the corner of the enclosure; some have been suffocated, no doubt
  56. >By now, mothers have taken their children out of the corral to protect them from you
  57. >You get fed up and throw the still-bleeding fluffy into the crowd you've drawn
  58. >It hits an ugly-looking lady right in the boobie, splashing blood all the way up to her face
  59. >She starts making a really loud ugly noise
  60. >You start to cry, and look for the fluffy ponies for comfort
  61. >Most of them have gathered up in the corner, as you saw before
  62. >Right now they look like a real big bed of huggies!
  63.  
  64. >You run right for them, and a lot of them cry before you even get there
  65. >"Big munsta com fow fwuffy!" "Pwease dun' gif owies to fwuffies!"
  66. >You force all your momentum into them as you fall toward them
  67. >Immediately you cause a wave of crunches as the bones underneath you break and grind against each other
  68. >You rolling around and elbowing fluffies in the eye probably kill most of the pile
  69. >You pick up a fat little fluffy
  70. "Ha ha fatty fatty!"
  71. >"Fwuffy scawed of munsta! tummy feew bad!"
  72. >She starts to vibrate in your hands
  73. >You like this feeling
  74. >You hug her close to you
  75. >With her last breath, she utters,
  76. >"Pwease dun' huwt fwuffy's babehs!"
  77. >She explodes in your arms, into a ball of fur and a few little sticky fleshy lumps
  78. >You don't like that at all
  79. >Immediately you start wailing about and crushing the fluffy foals in your hands
  80. >You're throwing them around into the fence and stuff
  81. >At this point you just fall over and start wiggling until they send the wranglers in
  82.  
  83. >They wrestle you into submission
  84. >Here's the worst part
  85. >They stick the sorry needle into your neck, and you go to sleep
  86. >
  87. >Later, when you wake up, mommy gets real mad
  88. >She drank too much apple juice
  89. >She starts talking about how you killed over half of the fluffy ponies and how she owes the petting zoo over 5 dollars
  90. >But the worst part is when she hits you a few times and tells you you can never go back to the petting zoo
  91. >She hits you again and locks you in your room
  92. >You sit on your bed and cry until Blues Clues comes on
  93. >You like Blues Clues
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