Thread 67: Stories 46-60

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 >18
"2"
~~~

"Scribblin' scribblin' scribbliiiiiin'!... Hey, Eighteen?"

>Uh huh.

"What'cha woooorkin' on?"

>A form to allocate funding to some new shielding engineers so they can test their latest prototype.

"Oh... izzat important?"

>It's very, very important... because it means they'll go faarrrrr away.

"Who?"

>The rest of the hive. That loud... loud... loud hive.

"Oh. I kinda don't want 'em ta' go, though. Not-mom likes 'em here, and I get ta' spend time with everybody again! They barely even recognize me no more.'

>You are a solid three feet shorter than you were the last time they saw you.

"Yeah... I miss fwooshin' big and talkin' normal. A-hem. I still remember when I had to talk like this all the time, HAH! Because otherwise they'd pick on me and drain my love for being a 'shorty' or... what'd they call me? Hey, Eighteen? What did they call 'not-not-mon's hive' lings?"

>...

"...I think it was flakes? It had to be flakes, cause they're a bunch of-"

>TWO!

"..."

>...G-go back to normal.

"...Kay!"

>Thank you. Just... thank you. That just isn't natural.

"It ain't that bad."

>...*shudder*.

"...Can I have another marchmally?"

>You can have ALL of them if you swear not to do that again.

"M'kay!"

>Phew.

"..."

>...

"...HAH!"

>ABSOLUTELY NOT!

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>AJ
"32"
'Primrose'

>...

"..."

'...can this unit interest the changeling in a refreshment?'

"No thank you."

'Is the changeling sure?'

"Yes."

'Can this unit ask why? The changeling's thirst levels have reached mildly discomforting levels.'

"It's more what I'm being offered to drink."

'This unit does not understand.'

>Yer holdin' a gal dang cup of industrial grade insecticide up to his face ya bucket a' bolts!

'This unit was programmed with such a substance being vital sustenance for changelings.'

>Well that's wrong.

'Reorganizing archives...'

"Well...that's horrifying."

>He's good at fetchin' cake, not much else. Now what's yer problem?

"Hm? Oh yes, I need information."

>Information?

"Yes Princess, information that would be vital to my...business here."

>...

"...uhm...Robot?"

'This unit is designated Primrose.'

"Primrose, why did you turn off the lights and start shining a lamp under my face?"

'Princess designate: Rarity had Princess designate: Twilight reprogram this unit with a Dramatic Enhancement Program. This unit is improving the drama of this interaction.'

"Ah...don't?"

'Acknowledged.'

>Ya realize yer soundin' a might bit-

"I know, believe me, I know, it's very...inconvenient."

>...

"See? I've been getting that look all over. I need to get myself checked out by a doctor. But yes, the information, the vital information..."

>Yeah?

"Do you happen to have the address of Fancy Pants? I understand he owns some places for rent and I need to set up shop with someone I'm told doesn't descriminate against changelings."

>Oh, yeah, sure, where's that card of his Rarity left here...

"Uh, your robot appears to be shuddering."

>What the-hey! Don't leak oil on the floor ya rust bucket!

'Whirrrrrrrrr...peh.'

>"..."

'Is this satisfactory?'

"Are these-?"

'Directions to the domicile of Pants, Fancy. This unit was shown off at one of his parties by previous of owner designate: Coltsly in order to bolster sales.'

"Ah, thank you very much!

'The changeling is welcome.'

>Huh, bug and bot gettin' along, don't see that every-

'Now will the changeling drink its refreshment?'

>Nevermind.

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 >SA
"???"
~~~~

>Out... out... denied... approved... out... out... done... finished... done... done... fuck, paperwork is boring... princely duties, though. Gotta do them... huh. Prince... priiiiinnccee... don't really like that word, now that I think about it. Sounds too much like priss... and I do run an Empire... Emperor... EmPOWER... I like that... Emperor Shining Armor! Emperor of all this crystal land! EMPEROR!... Wow, that actually sounds kind of evil.

"Could always just be king."

>Nah, that didn't work out for-GAH!

"..."

>Damn it, Chrysalis!

"Are you surprised I snuck in here? Is this shocking to you?"

>...Well, I mean, I guess it shouldn't be, but...

"..."

>...

"...By the way, don't say this around Cadence."

>She likes being called a princess though.

"How much longer will that last when she realizes Empress sounds like Impress?"

>...Point.

"...Being King of the changelings is still on the table, as are a great many other things if you go for it."

>No thanks.

"...Freaking LIMPeror, that's what you are."

>Plplplplpl.

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>AJ
"???"
~~~~

Peace.

It had been so long since she felt it that she honestly couldn't remember the last time it had truly happened. If she was being honest with herself, and she always was, even now she didn't really feel it, didn't truly get it. Something was still bothering her, something she couldn't quite put her hoof on, no matter how much she thought about it. Something was off. She was on edge, like she was waiting for... something.

But what, exactly had eluded her for all this time.

The moment she felt that whiff of a familiar smokey, oddly minty scent, she knew what that thing was.

The flash of green flame was utterly unnecessary. But then, the Queen always had a bit of a flair for the unneeded.

>Chrysalis.

She had told herself she wasn't going to look up, wasn't going to acknowledge the changeling until the Queen spoke up and requested her to look. But in the long silence that followed, she grew curious, too curious to hold, and she looked up. Just a glance, just a flick.

Silently, she cursed to herself when she saw that wide, grinning face.

>Iffin' yer' jus' here ta' brag, just march yer' buggy ass right out that door-

"Or what?"

The orange mare felt an odd chill roll down her spine at those words. There was an intensity, an odd eagerness akin to a giddy schoolchild just waiting to see it happen, mixed in with a sharp tang of maliciousness.

She could hold her gaze to the paperwork in front of her no longer, and slowly looked up to regard the Queen.

"I said, or what?"

>Or Ah'll toss yer' hide right out that-

"Try it."

There it was. The moment Chrysalis had obviously been waiting for. The response to the threat she had been clearly begging Applejack to make on the inside. Grinning like a child who had taken their first bite of a detectible candy bar after finishing all their vegetables.

"Go on. Try. It. See what you can do."

Bluff called.

"Oh? No? Whysoever not? You don't want to try to physically force me? Clearly you could manage, could you not? No? Well, that's good. Oh well, you're clearly so... powerful in other regards, pull out another threat."

She was practically singing, humming along with every tell-tale word.

>...This ain't funny, Chrysalis.

"No no, please. Why don't you try... Oh! I know! Let's try a favorite of yours."

There was an odd magical hum, and in the next moment she heard a distinctly familiar voice come from the giant changeling mare.

"Ya'll better stop it or Ah'm tossin' ya'll out inta' Everfree!"

Her voice.

>Har. De. Har. Har.

"Applejack! As if I would regard something like that as a laughing matter! Why, I would never risk... wait a minute."

>Leave.

"Waaaait a minute."

>Ah' said get out.

"Oh my! Ooooh my!"

>AH' SAID GET OUT!

"Or what!?"

She had closed the distance instantly, faster than even Applejack could follow with her newfound powers. Before she could react, her entire vision was consumed by the gazing look of the Queen.

"Go on, give me your very best. Give me everything you have, little mare. Let's see just how much power you have when you have to handle ME."

She would never, ever back down from a fight before.

...Some things never change.

>Ah'm bout two seconds from-

"From what? Attacking me? HAH! Calling your guards or airforce? HAH! Calling the robots? HAH! Or Luna, maybe? HAH! None of them could stand a chance, and you know it. Your only hope was Discord, and he has to stay too far from Canterlot to be of help, lest Fluttershy drain too much of his power. Your only hope is running to someone I like and begging them to ask me to stop. Go on, finally let it out, let's bring this event that you've clearly wanted so to fruition at last! Let's see what you're really capable of when I don't have to hold back! When I don't have to consider being tossed away at your behest! Let's see it!"

Applejack shoved her head forwards, unstable magic pressing against the Queen's horn and straining her to stay in place, trying to shove the changeling away.

>ME!? Yer' the one that's always two seconds from causin' a dang war!

"BULLSHIT!"

With that one call, Applejack's magic found itself shattered like glass, in a million pieces like it had been a cracker against a cannonball.

With her back against the wall, literally, she could only nurse her wounds as the Queen advanced on her, power pouring off her horn in droves.

"Every single time, it's YOU who brings your forces to bare, and someone else has to end the fight. Not once, not ONCE was it ever you who ended the fight. After Chitania it was Shining, in the event with Twilight it was Cadence, at Partyland it was Twilight and Celestia, and here recently it was ME. Every time, you're right there, ready to come at me and finally bring this battle to the table. Well... I'm right here, little Applejack. I'm right here, and I have nothing more to fear from you, I have nothing more to worry from you, I have nothing more to hold back from you."

Green magic poured off of her in droves, lighting up the room and scattering the paperwork on the six aligned desks.

"There has been a shift, Applejack. A shift of power between us. You held it before... you do no more. The next time you try this, you had better pray that someone I like is in the area. For while I will likely never attempt on your life, the children's horseshoes are officially off, and I do not need to hold back. Next time you jump at me, it's going to go very, very differently. That was the last blow you will ever land... I hope you treasure it. Treasure the memory of the one time you won..."

She shoved away, giving off a caviler smile, relishing in the power rolling off her in waves.

"And yet, as I stand here, free to at last speak to you as I always wished... I can't help but feel it was worth it. If I had known this was the end result, I would have told Twilight to let you go back on that flying madness, and taken it with joy. Would have saved so much time."

>...So that's it? Get away fer' a day, and yer' already back to threaten' me?

"Oh Applejack, you poor fool. Threat implies I plan to do something, that an action will be carried out on my behalf towards you. In reality, I have no idea how you will react, and what will happen here. You might rebel against me and finally allow me to cut loose as I have so wanted, or you may think to yourself 'I want nothing to do with her, ever' and we never speak on more than the barebones formal again, and not a single drop of bad blood is ever shed between us. I have no plans to attack you, bring your home low, or strike back for your actions. I am merely telling you that when your pride finally gets the better of you... do not hope you shall walk away. Crawl, perhaps, but walking will be out of the question."

>That it?

A simple question, no anger, no nothing. Just a question.

"...No, I suppose I should give you this, just as a token of 'thanks' for inadvertently playing right into my hooves."

She waved flippantly, and from the ether a pile of papers were summoned, each one bearing a strange series of numbers on it.

"This is everything I slipped past you, little addendum's to-"

She didn't even wait. Instantly, Applejack grabbed hold of one, pulled a form from nowhere, and started filling it out.

"Repeals?"

>Yep. Good day fer' it, it'll go ta' committee tomorrow, everythin' ought'a be gone by the end o' the week.

"Really? Don't even wish to see what they said-"

>Nope.

"...So be it."

She waited and waited and waited, the clock ticking away slowly but surely.

"...Nothing?"

>Ah' can't force ya' ta' leave but Ah' ain't gonna give ya' the time o' day.

"Fair enough, I suppose."

There was no lack of mirth as the fire began to spread, already circling her to carry her away.

>You gonna be like this with me all the time?

"HAH! No, why on earth would I? Applejack Applejack Applejack... don't you see? This was not some idle threat, some pointless posturing. Don't you get it? This is me telling you what this now is, how our long relationship has finally changed. I leave nothing of mine here, and you have nothing left to take away. At last, at long last..."

Only her smile, impossibly, managed to shine through in the flames.

"I can finally treat you as you always were. Just another face in the crowd... neither my friend... or even worth it to be called my enemy. To me, you are... nothing."

And thus, she was gone.

But there were no chilling after thoughts that remained, no haunting calls ringing in Applejack's head, not even a snaking feeling of unease. No, the last words spoken left Applejack with a strange, almost alien feeling, something that churned in her gut and made her feel just a little... off.

>...Huh.

Slowly the pen slowed for just a second, and her eyes began to grow wide.

>...huh... Ah' don't gotta deal with her no more... she's just... another gal right now... ain't gotta worry 'bout arguin' or politics... just gotta... huh.

The pen came to a stop for a second, only a second, and then it resumed scribbling away.

>Huh.

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NC
AJ get shoved into a tube

>Twi, you better let me outta here right now!

"But I need to know!"

>I AM NOT SOME CHANGELING YOU CAN JUST SHOVE INTA SOME BEAKER!

"..."

>Sorry... that was... that was low

"..."

>Really I'm sorry.

"Just get out of my lab... I need to go to the ballroom."

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>Pinkie
"SA"
~~~~

"No."

>COME ONNNNNN!

"Love the enthusiasm, love the drive, still no."

>COME ONNNNNNNN!

"Do not love the whining. The whining is not winning me over."

>But I've gotta! I didn't get to throw them a welcome party back when they hit Canterlot, and this might be my last chance!

"One, that sounds super pessimistic-"

>Or optimistic depending!

"-and two no. We already got them settled in, we're not trying to stir any pots, we just want to treat this like one great big move that everyone knew was happening and wanted. We're just fine."

>Awwwww.

"..."

>...

"...You can still give them some cake if you want-

>THAT'S A YES!

"PINKIE NO! THAT'S NOT A YES! CAKE! CAKE IS ALL I AGREED TO!"

>I'm counting it!

"PINKIE!"

*SLAM!*

"......gettin' reeeeeal tired of mares who have a lot of pink on them essentially running over me...."

>At least you get to sleep with one of them! Maybe two!

"GAH!... HOW!? HOW ARE YOU BEHIND-"

>BECAUSE I'M PINKIE PIE!

*SLAM!*

"..."

>We need to hang out more.

"GAH!"

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 >Dash
"Fleetfoot"
'Soarin'
~???~
~~~~

>Yeeeep. This sounds about right.

"Oh... ow."

~OH DEAR CELESTIA! IT HURTS!~

>I do not know what I expected.

'Did you read the book?'

>I did.

'And-'

>And Soarin', I am going to be blunt with you. There is simply no way to placed the proper words to prepare me for this on the written page. There is simply no description long enough nor trees in all of Everfree to make the paper needed to adequately explain to me what was to transpire. The greatest writer in the world could break his thesaurus in half looking up every single solitary word that could possibly describe this, and still come up woefully short. No poet could sing it, nor could any pony speak it. This could not be explained, only experienced. I have lived through it, and only now do I understand.

"...Why not just say 'they really fucking suck at flying'?"

>...Oh, yeah, that. I could have just said that. Well said, that covers pretty much everything.

"..."

>...Crying corner still available?

'I think Lightning Dust is still mad we turned her down.'

>For what?

'...Nevermind.'

~MY WINGS!~

>...Gonna try and squeeze in anyway.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Celestia"
~~~~

>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but who am I to decide what does and doesn't matter! Now for our main guest...PRINCESS CELESTIA!!!

"Hello Pinkie."

>Hey! You know that time! It's time for a question from our audience!

"That sounds-"
She blinks and there's suddenly an audience member shows up next to her
"-oh right."

>Ask away you questionably animate inanimate object!
The cardboard raises up a sign that says 'Are you slacking?' They both blink and it's gone.

"No no, I can assure you I'm still-"

>It's probably hard to tell when we're with Shining and Chrysalis, a noticeable amount.

"Um yes. That's true."

>And that's our show for now! Princess Celestia is in for a rude awakening.
Celestia wakes up falling off her floaty and into a pool.
"...Mother, at least let me relax!"

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 >Chrysalis
"Twilight"
'Pinkie'
[FS]
~~~

>Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm feeling this.

"I'm not."

>Now, see, here you go again. This right here? Whop whoooopp.

'Yeah, Twi! We just dodged a major catastrophe, let's live a little and help out a friend!'

>You hear that? Do you hear that Twilight? That is your friend. Let the words of your friends flow into you.

>You see this? Infectious. You are infecting her like a... ahem. Moving on. But don't you see? This is for TWIENCE! We are getting TWI up in here, that's what we're fucking doing. We're going straight up Twi-magic.

"I'm just really unsure that-"

>Twiiiii, you're letting your fear prevent you from seeing the big picture. Unleash yourself!

"That just backfires all the time-"

>But not with me around!

"..."

>That's a confirmation! Fluttershy! Let us begin!

[Um... well, I mean, if this'll help with-]

>I see no way it can do anything but help.

[And if Pinkie thinks it's a good idea-]

'The BEST idea!'

[...Okay-

~~~~~~~

"THIS WAS THE WORST IDEA!"

>I disagree, worst idea is still guacamole and chocolate.

'Verified! That is a terrible idea.'

"SHUT IT OFF!"

>The magic room?

"SUB SPACE-"

>Magic room, right. Well, see, problem is, the room can't be shut down. It's alive.

[S-s-s-hould I-]

>Flutters? Chill. Relax. WE GOT THIS SHIT!

'WOOOOO!'

*VRRRRRR!*

"PINKIE, WHY DO YOU HAVE A CHAINSAW-... oh."

>That stare is uncalled for, really. Too suspicious for an innocent coincidence.

'Totally!'

"...So, this idea of maybe using the subspace to contain Flutershy's powers, you knew it was going to-"

'Do I look like a scientist?'

>I'm too sexy to be a scientist!

"..."

>I know what I said!

"...You know, I questioned why you brought Pinkie in here."

*BOOOM!*

"...Now I realize I was a fool."

[You really should have seen it coming. I did... I just accepted it.]

"You are wise beyond your years, Fluttershy..."

>HAH!

*BOOM!*

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NC OMAKEEEE!
During>>22331640
~~~~

"I am merely telling you that when your pride finally gets the better of you... do not hope you shall walk away. Crawl, perhaps, but walking will be out of the question."

>Oh yeah? Ya' mean you and Ah' can finally cut loose? Can finally, after all this time, stop dancin' around the issue?

"Yes. At last, the shackles are off, and nothing is left to hold me back from destroying you."

>You really think ya' can handle me?

"Think? My dear Applejack, I could leave you BROKEN."

>Ya' know what? Ah'm callin' yer' bluff. Time fer' you and Ah' ta' finally stop this freakin' drama crap and just have at it.

"You really think you can keep up with me?"

>Sug'... you're about ta' get a taste of mah' applebuckin' legs, and you best brace yourself.

"You have no idea what I'm capable of."

>Then you best show me, cause Ah'm done waitin'.

"...."

>...

"..."

>...

With one sweep of her hooves, all the paperwork was tossed to the floor, and at last the two 'enemies' could go at each other.

~~~~

'Hey, Applejack? Twilight sent me over here, says she's done trying to figure out my dragon powers for the day, where do you want me to put this cake-HOLY CELESTIA ON A UNICYCLE!

>N-NNGGH! T-THAT THE BEST YOU GOT!?

"Not even close!"

>Then why don't ya-A-AH! HEY! NO FANGS! THOSE THINGS HURT!

"Mmmm, every weapon at my disposal, Applejack! Every weapon!"

>Why you!...HNG!

"Hey! Cheap move!"

>Ah'm not jus' gonna take it, obviously!

"Oh, you'll take-GNH!"

>YA' LIKE THAT!?

"Maybe I do!"

>THEN TRY SOME OF THIS!

"A-AHHHH! DAMN IT! HGN!"

>Don't you u-underestimate me cause you got me pinned!'

"D-Damn it, stay still!"

'.........................So that's why we never went on a second date...............'

>HNG!

"DAMN!"

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VERY NC OMAKE.
>Screwloose
"12"
'Snake Eyes'

--

>Hmm... Hey, Perv?

"Yeah, Screws?"

>Before we enter, and you might die, we're doing something... fun. THINK FAST!!

"Wh-- GAAHH!!"

~Screwloose runs off with 12 captive, giggling like a madmare possessed~

------

"..."

>Ahhhhh, needed that. Enjoy that, my sexy Pervert?

"..."

>Perv?

"...I... I think I love you..."

>Psh, you just love what I did to you with my body... and my hooves, you love those, pervert.

"...Y-yeah..."

>Damn, I'm good.

"...Wow..."

'Hey you guys, we can't keep Penn-- OH GOD SCREWS CLOSE YOUR LEGS!! CELESTIA WHY IT'S BURNED INTO MY BRAIN!!'

>Take a picture. it'll last longer.

"...I w-would..."

>Freaky little pervert.

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NComake
>Spike
"Chitania"
~~~

SLAM!

>Chitania! I want to learn how to control my giant powers!

"...Sure."

>What? Really?

"Yes, but there's a catch."

>Figured. What is it?

"You have to let me hit you."

>...What?

"It's been so fucking long! I need to hit something! I NEED TO FUCKING HIT SOMETHING!"

>...Deal.

~~~~

>HWAHHHHHHHHHH!

"Why are you screaming like that?"

>HWAAHHHHHHHHH!

"Do... do you think that helps? It's magic, you don't need to... this isn't doing anything, it's magic. You don't have to-"

>WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!

FOOOOOM!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uesqhy9kwcA

>...

"... what the fuck?"

>...Aw, man, all I did was turn my spines yellow.

"Yeah, and made them pointy."

>Is that good?

"No, no that is not good. What the fuck? That has nothing to do with being giant."

>Does it make me stronger? Can I become ALL gold?

"Why would being shiny gold make you stronger? That's dumb.

>Yeah, this is kind of stupid looking. I'm just going to turn it off.

SHOOP!

>...So! I felt today was very productive.

"MY TURN!"

>WAIT WHAT-

SMASH!

>GLK! W-WHY!

"You said I could! We had an agreement!"

>I thought you meant when I was giant!

"...Really, it's your fault for thinking I will not punch a baby."

>...Point taken.

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Omake
>41
"???"
[???]
{???}
~Mailman~
~~~~

>...I feel like I'm forgetting something.... OH FUCK! SUCKERPUNCH!

"Trust me, you don't want that."

>...Jugglejack?

"MmmmgnnhhhHEEHEHUUUUHHHHH!"

>You uh... you need a little... 'company' right now?

"...I could go for some. But I don't want to-"

>Oh no, I agree! Just a... 'quick replacement'.

"Just a one time thing to feel better.

>And hey, it's not like they're HERE, right? They can't blame us for needing some relief in this new place.

"It would be selfish otherwise."

>Speaking of selfish-

"Oh no, don't worry, not a one way street with me."

>Good. Worried about that. So...

"What happens in the Empire..."

~~~~~

[Actarius?]

{Yep.}

[You worried they're... you know, seeing someone else over there?]

{...O-oh dear Celestia... you don't think... you don't think...}

~Mail call! Says it's from an anonymous agent.~

[...I-is she...]

{....He's.. he's...}

[...SHE'S PUNCHING HIIIIIIIIM!]

{H-HE'S JUGGLING FOR HER!? FOR HER!? THAT TWO BIT SKANK! JJ HOW COULD YOU!? I THOUGHT YOUR "FUCKING HOLES" WERE ONLY FOR MEEEEHEHEHEEEEEE!}

[O-oh god, they're even... they're even... THEY'RE HEADBUTTINNGGGGGGGGG!]

{NOOOOOOOOOO!}

{UH BUUUHHHHH!}

~...you all have issues.~

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OMAKE!
>18
"Chitty"
'SL'
[88]
{Gwen}
(56)
~~~~

MEANWHILE! IN THE STRAW POLL

>SAY MY NAME BITCH!

"How are you doing so well against me!?"

>I'm the literal dark horse in this fight!

"YOU'RE FUCKING WINNING!? HOW!?"

>CADDY BUG PRIDE!

'Really? I stood that little chance... I mean, okay, I haven't actually DONE anything yet, but I'm mysterious and cute!'

[Wow, I did way better than I thought I would.]

{FUCK OFF! AT LEAST YOU HAVE ART! I'm so close! I'M SO FUCKING CLOSE!}

(I get to snuggle the winner, right? That's how it goes?)

{...I'M SO FUCKING CLOSE!}

'Really?'

{It's weirdly relaxing.}

>SAY! MY NAME!

"...You do realize I actually got art this thread, right?"

>DON'T CARE! 42 last time, ME NEXT!

{This is some bullshit right here.}

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"Quicksilver Sash"

---

"Um... yeah, not like I was in there... or anything."

~Goes back to guarding the castle or whatever it is he does~

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