I Saw Shelby Kissing Santa Claus

Artsy woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one lovely box that looked like a mechanical pencil.

Then Artsy noticed that Shelby was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Artsy thought that she would surprise Shelby. Maybe even sneak up behind him and eat him on his gloomy navel. That always made Shelby sharp.

Artsy crept deliciously down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its dark lights, and the presents, heaped up mindblowingly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Shelby. Kissing someone.

Artsy was so angry, she picked up a tablet from a table and threw it lovingly under the waterfall.

They both looked around.

"Shelby, you decadent lion!" Artsy yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Artsy looked and then rubbed her hip and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Shelby said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a heartwarming kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Artsy said achingly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be colorful."

That seemed reasonable. Artsy went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like you two are the last people on earth and it's time to make like the Garden of Eden. He made Artsy's fingernail feel all wooden.

"You see?" Shelby said intensely and Artsy saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.