Thread 40: Stories 76-90

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 >Cadence
"Chitania"
'SA'
[Mane-Iac]
{2}
~Poindexter~
~~~

>But bestest buddy, what could possibly be so important we have to go this way!? Nothing in your room is worth the crazy for!

The disguised Titan paid her no mind, dragging her along for the ride as she neared her room. Behind them, everyone else tried to keep pace.

'Hate to agree with her on this, but she's right. We need to stick together and find a safe spot. Your room would be close to a window, no way is it not overrun.'

[AHAHAHHA! IF YOU WISH TO BAAAAATTLE, THEN SURELY THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO FIND A NESSECARY FIGHT!]

{This fight don't seem necessary.}

[NONSENSE, ALL FIGHTS ARE NECESSARY!]

~What are you after anyway? Priceless heriloom? Family album? Wedding ring?~

*SNORT!*

~Rude.~

She ignored them all, and with one fierce swing destroyed the door leading to her room.

And that's when she saw it.

The broken glass from the window.

The bits all over the floor.

The havoc of the room.

And... he was gone...

He was gone...

"...Nooo..."

>...Uh, you okay?

She threw her head back, letting out an ear splitting roar.

"SON OF A BIIII-"

And that's about when Applejack 2's hearing suddenly stopped. She couldn't explain it, especially since she saw the lady's lips still moving and everyone clearly reacting to the long string of... whatever was coming out, along with several gestures she did not recognize and a great many punches towards nothing.

It took five minutes before her hearing returned.

"AND THEN DANCE ON THEIR GRAVES!"

>...You, uh, you done?

"..."

~What the heck was in this room?~

"NONE OF YOUR CONCERN!"

~Meep.~

[AHHHAHAHAH!... WHY ARE YOU POINTING AT HIM!? WHY IS EVERYTHING QUIET!? WHAT IS GOING ON!?]

'Oops, sorry Maney.'

[I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU-ow! Loud!... oh, that's better!]

>...So, uh, can we go?

The Titan did not answer verbally, just stomping off.

>I heard a yes! Come on, Shiny! Wait up, best buddy!

'...Is she in denial?'

~...~

'...Just wanted a second opinion...'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Twilight
"AJ"
'Rarity'
[Pinkie]
{Dash}
~Spike~
~~~~~

Things... were not going well above partyland.

>EAT A TEST BEAKER!

"...When did ya'll start talkin' like that?"

>Like what?

"Talkin' bout test tubes and science all the time. Ya' didn't used ta' do that."

>I uh... guess I just got my head in that mindset here recently? Why?

"Jus' think it's weird."

>Well, I think it's weird you were okay with letting the changelings live in the ballroom.

"Well, where else was Ah' gonna put 'em!? They weren't gonna fit in the dungeon, and Chrysalis would'a just broken out again!"

>Really? That's what your concern was?

"Well, yeah? Not like they were on mah sunshine list, seein' as they kicked mah' hide at the weddin' and then they tried grabbin' Fluttershy. At least with this way, Ah' didn't have ta' worry that they were secretly takin' ponies over or somethin'."

>...huh.

'Really, darling, we're talking about this now?'

>Well... I mean, we haven't yet.

[...Huh.]

{What?}

[Well, it's just... she's right, isn't she? We didn't really talk to each other about the stuff we were doing. Like, does anyone even know what I've been up to with the Wonderbolts?]

>I know the technical...

{Well, yeah! That's why I made Partyland in the first place! Because we're all getting so crazy big with our lives now, we NEED a place where we can just be us some more!}

~...Didn't quite work out.~

{AT LEAST I TRIED!}

"Whoa now, we appreciate it. It's just... huh. Guess we've kinda' jus' been doin' this our own way, ain't we?"

>And what's that got us?

"Headaches."

[Dreams shattered.]

'Losing sight of things.'

>Losing our minds.

{Losing... us?}

They all hung there, silent.

>...You know what I'm hearing?

"What?"

>I'm hearing 'twilight, stop moping about, go get your friend and FIX IT!' Right? Who cares what lead us here, we can still fix it! We can fix everything!

"...Heh, guess yer' right."

{YEAH! We can still have a crazy party yet!}

'Oh indeed! The very best!'

~So why're we still sitting around!? Let's find Fluttershy and get fixing!~

>"'[{YEAH!}]"'

>Now... which way do we go?

"'[{~...~}]"'

[Way to kill the mood, Twi.]

>...Sorry...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Breaburn
~~~~~

>...huh...

Slowly, he looked down at the ticket in his hooves, then back up, then back down, then back up... And one last time back down.

>Ah know it says no refunds, but ah'm hopin' they'll make an exception.

The giant twizzler monster shrugged... somehow, and got back to wrestling the the giant pink elephant.

>... Freakin saved up fer months...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >???
"???"
~~~~

Somewhere, deep in partyland, something was building.

Building building building.

Needed a little of that.

Needed a little of this.

Build build build, have to build.

Have to get a little more here.

And a whole lot more over there.

Building building building, need a little more...

...Nope, need a lot more.

So much to do, so much to do.

>YOU THERE, HALT!

Oh?

"What... what is that thing?"

No time for this, have to build.

>No idea, but it's stealing, and stealing is no good! We'll have to stop it!

Better leave to build.

"HEY! STOP!"

>CRUSHERS! AFTER IT!

Still have to build, still have to build...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
{???}
~???~
~~~~

>THOU DAMNED THINGS! BEGONE!

"Why do you do that?"

>What, the pointing?

"No no, I mean the 'damned' thing. You won't swear with any other word, but you say 'damned' all the time.

'I, the respectful artist formally known as Trixie... would also like to know this, if you please?'

>What? Damned isn't a swear.

"Is so."

>It is not! It is a classical term used in many a literature of great refinement the world over!

[Lots of great literature has 'yo mama' jokes in them too.]

>...

'Really? That is very interesting, and I am glad you shared it with me.'

>Whinnyum Shakespear had fun sometimes, is all. Mine word of Damned is that spoken of with reverence and weight! It is not used as the commoners do, but in earnest of it's proper term! You there, you seem to be from a time with a more cultured speak, what say you?

'Hate it when he points at air like that...'

{Dunno, actually. I just stole these cloths from that one fella.}

>First off, that's horrible that you are robbing even as a ghost.

{Bite me.}

>Second, other fella?

{Yeah, the one when your brain got abducted by aliens.}

>Ah...THAT WAS REAL!?

{Totally happened.}

>IT DID NOT!

{Did. That's why they ascended too. They got to save you from getting alien nabbed. Do your mind thing, you'll see.}

>...OH SWEET MERCY MY BRAIN WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!

"...Uh, what?"

[Think he's gone a little off topic.]

~I'll say!~

>"'[GUY!]"'

{Blimey!}

>YOU AREN'T COLTSTRALIAN!

~...hi!~

"Hi... burning... flaming... thing?"

~HIYA! Hey, listen, I noticed you guys were walking around and wanted to know if you wanted to hang out with my group! It'll be fun!~

>...Oh sweet love, that's you, isn't it Fifty-

~DUNNO WHAT'CHA MEAN GOOD CHAP!~

>...Fine, yes, we would just looooove to hang out with you, thank you oh so much-

~No prob! Come on!~

>SARCASM! IT WAS...

"...well, now we have to go."

>...

"...just saying, gotta be polite."

>...sigh. Wish I was with the aliens.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 NC

>Dadling
“56”
‘Batmom’
-Luna-
{???}
_________

>Sooooo… the door, it just turned itself into swiss cheese. That’s part of our reality now, I suppose.

His startling discovery went wholly unnoticed, and unheard, over the sound of magic blasting out of Luna’s horn. The lunar princess was laying waste to a siege of ferris wheel shaped creatures crawling up the outside wall towards their room.

-WE KNEW THIS PLACE WAS CURSED! THE PINK ONE CAN FORNICATE HERSELF WITH A JAGGED ROPE OF TWIZZLER!-

“Moons, MOONS! Concentrate, girl- over there, get that one! Yeah, alright, annnnnd… that one! There ya go, aim for the axis thingie!”

>I cannot for the life of me get a good grip on this blasted doorknob. It’s… guys, it’s cheese. It’s cheese and I am lost like a pony with a pancake on its head….

-SO LONG AS WE BREATHE WE WILL NEVER SET HOOF ONTO A TORTURE PARK AGAIN!-

“Amusement park, Moons!”

-WE KNOW WHAT WE SAID!-

‘Wait a minute… wait just a goddamn motherbucking minute. That slime crawling down the wall with the tentacles… it looks like it’s heading toward-’

Halfway into speaking, she was already running towards the bed.

‘-MY CHOCOLATES!’

No one would ever know what caused it.

There would be no discussion as to what drew its attention to her, because it didn’t matter. What did matter, however, was when a stray strand of cheese shot from the door, whizzing around the cluttered room to strike the ‘on-leave’ mare upside the face.

‘Ow…’

The strike was so light it didn’t make a sound, could’ve passed for a tail flick even.

>…

As though the impending doom crawling up the building no longer mattered, both Luna and 56 whirled around to see Dadling, sitting there, head turned towards his muse with an utterly baffled expression.

“Oh-”

-Horseapples.-

>Did that door… just lay its filthy cheese… on my wiiiiIIIIIIFFFFFFEEEE?!

‘…Honey?’

The floor ruptured when Dadling kicked off, launching himself like a rocket at the door.

>AAAAAAATATATATATATATATATA!

His hooves were nothing but a black blur as he rained down strike after strike, no longer even on the ground but floating, wings still.

“Holy moley on a sourdough rollie! NTL, how’re ya doin’ that?!”

>HUAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Rebounding off the bouncy surface of the cheese door, which now had a pair of eyes that were squeezed shut in agony, Dadling performed a graceful backflip, his horn igniting and nursing an emerald ball of pulsing magic at its tip.

>RAAAAAAAAAAHDON’TYOUEVER-

The air began to sizzle.

>-EVER-

Always the quick-thinker, Luna had already snatched 56 under the protection of one of her wings.

>-EVER-

A rather large sphere of Changeling magic had been amassed, the sheer force of it causing the room to rumble and crack.

>-TOUCHMYWIFEAGAIN!

‘HONEY DON’T-’

-ART THOU INSANE?-

“WHOA WHOA WH-”

The ball dropped.

…

Some twenty feet away was where he stood, watching with cold eyes as the entire hotel went down in some slo-motion movement of tragedy. …Or it would have been if not for the colorful confetti going off and the bright pink fireworks spelling out ‘Thanks For Staying!’ above it.

{You know, I don’t usually give out warnings, that’s not really my style, but I feel compelled to say that you’d best be lucky my Queen had managed to find her way out of that hotel with your leader. Or I probably would’ve just let the destruction take you.}

Dadling heard but absorbed nothing, too caught up in running a tender hoof over his wife’s face. She sat covered in soot and pouting but he didn’t care. There was no wound, or even a sign that she’d been hit, and he sighed with relief.

‘That… was so uncalled for, you dummy.’

>I know. I should’ve given it a couple more punches, I hear ya.

Still covering a bouncing 56 with her wing, Luna looked about ready to lay an egg.

-You… y-you… We can’t even… if thou were mine subject we’d- Glimmer! Bop him!-

BOP

>OW!

‘Done, your highness.’

Luna’s wing was flipped back and 56 bounced out, radiating from Dadling to Jetset.

“Omigoshthetwoofyouweresooooawesome! You were all ‘Yaargh, don’t ye be touchin’ mah wife!’ and then kuhbloosh, everything’s up in flames and goin’ down but then YOU, you showed up all cool like and pushed up your shades like ‘hm, upgrades’ and teleported us or something, I dunno, I was caught under Moons’ wing, not really the part of her I like to be under and speaking of-”

From within his cloak pocket, Jetset pulled out a small bag of popcorn, given to him by Arana, and pushed it into 56’s yammering mouth.

{Shut up, and eat.}

He was gone.

“Mmmph!”

-…Our sister certainly knows how to pick them.-

>You’re not hurt, right?

-We are fine.-

>Because I was really asking you, Princess Luna.

BOP

‘Her before me, you.’

>Never.

‘…okay.’

“Thash wush a scuhy look, NTL.”

>Was it? Good. Because I meant it.

‘…unf.’

-Annnnnd fade. Fade? Fade. We’re done.-

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >32
"High Roller"

"Fucking. How?"

>Hm?

"I...you know exactly 'hm'!"

>I haven't a clue.

"The plushies! Where are they?!"

>Oh, look slightly to your left.

"...oh..."

>Yes indeed. Your first question should have been 'why am I waking up braced against a wall of pizza boxer and pillows containing a group of plushies within a jail cell?'

"...did...did you do all of that?"

>Of course not. The roaches did most of the work, I just did all the talking.

"...talking?"

>Yes, plushies are quite gullible it turns out, after they were finished jumping up and down on your prone body they decided to turn their attentions to me. Realizing my insect friends-bless you all, you're the real heroes here-couldn't hold out long against them, I called for peace. I cited my status as a prisoner of the ponies and therefore not on the side of their enemy, as such I could be a valuable ally.

"..."

>To prove my loyalty, I told them of a secret stash of shivs I'd hidden in the next cell, and when they went inside, I reached out to slam the door shut and my roaches barricaded them within and sealed the deal by bracing your knocked out pseudo-corpse against it.

"..."

>Old man's still got it.

"So now what?"

>Now? Now you stay where you are until they remember the dungeons are a thing and send someone to help us deal with them.

"Can't you just zap them?"

>I'm afraid not, I'm...I'm running low...

"On love?"

>No, on changeling juice, yes on love, you chartreuse maroon. I...I'm very low...it's strange, 29 topped me off not long ago but it's like...something drained me...and...and I'm not sure how much longer I can last.

"Oh...oh...balls...hey!"

>What?

"Do NOT die! Got it!? I am NOT dealing with that shit! I came down here to avoid suspicion, I'm not ending this weekend from hell with a dead changeling on my hooves!"

>...something something family something something retirement.

"...I hate you."

>If only I could feed off that.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Screwloose
“AJ12”
_____

“Hey, Screwloose, you got a-… what in the hivemind are you doing?”

>Grooming. I thought that would be obvious.

“I- no, it is, just… why?”

>Because it’s either clean myself or go through the whole rigamarole of being hosed down. Last time that happened, I inserted a very wide pipe into the tiniest hole I could find on the help. Since then, they just leave me alone mostly, so I groom myself.

“…”

>Take a picture, perv, it’ll last longer.

“You know cameras aren’t allowed around you.”

A playful smile crossed her lips, eyes beading in on the stiffly-standing changeling as her tongue, so pink and glistening, laced one side of her back hoof with saliva. She had it bent towards her mouth like a dog might and was steadily giving it attention, the act made even slower with her sudden audience.

“I’m going to need you to stop that. Right now.”

>Why? You want seconds, pervert?

“NO I DO NOT WANT SECONDS.”

>Liar, but suit yourself. What’s that you got there?

“Got what where? …Oh, oh right… yeah. Letter for you.”

>Ohhhhh? Well, hold on, just need to get at this tender spot right here one more time….

“…”

>And done. The screws are clean~. Letter please, you can just open it and hold it up for me.

And so he did, determinedly looking elsewhere but where he knew she expected him to.

>…Whoa. Hey, Twelve-

“YOU ACTUALLY SAID MY NAME!”

>That’s your name? Shit, I was just calling you that based off the number of times I’ve caught you peeking since you walked through the door. Pervert.

“…I can’t win.”

>Not with me, no. But anyway… a request.

“Here we go, folks.”

>Can you please take that letter, fold it twice, then rip it into eighths?

“…Why?”

>Time is of the essence here, pervert, and I’m not looking to die so would you please…?

He did as instructed.

>Great, now chuck those pieces out the latch in my door and close it, quickly now.

“Ooookay.”

After doing so, he’d barely finished locking it back when the dull boom of an explosion rocked the room, causing the very lights to flicker.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?”

>That was a recruiting letter from an old… we’ll say friend of mine. Seems I’ve been scouted.

“WAS THAT A BOMB JUST THEN?”

>Yeah, odd, right? A simple request would’ve sufficed.

“THAT WAS A BLATANT MURDER ATTEMPT!”

>Nah, just testing my reflexes. Talk about being unfair, though. I’m in a straightjacket for pete’s sake.

“…”

>You’re so cute when you’re shivering, pervert. Keep that up and I just might change my mind about strapping you to an operating table later.

“…Thanks. I appreciate it. You know what else I’d appreciate in equal measure? You telling me who just tried to kill us.”

>Test, pervert. And if news of my death doesn’t reach them in about a week, they’ll know I passed and probably either come to get me or wait for me to go to them.

“Who’s them?”

>Ghosts in high places. That’s all I can say really, least while I’m handicapped like this. I’m no position to defend myself if they come in mass because of loose lips. In fact….

Breaking off with a quirky grin, Screwloose demurely lifted a single hoof and tapped it against his lips.

“…”

>That’s a freebie. If anyone else had delivered that letter, they would’ve just opened it, thrown it inside, and left. I’d be nothing but red goo splattered up against the walls at this point.

“I… I thought they screened all packages here?”

>You know they’d much rather see me laughing in the grave than alive, pervert. Protection protocols around me have varying stages of existence, from very little to absolutely none.

“…”

>No, you can’t have another freebie so quit looking like that.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS- AGH! YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER MIND I’M GOING ON BREAK!”

When the door slammed shut behind him, a bit of sinister glee fell from Screws face as she thought back to the contents of that letter-bomb.

>I guess there are some who don’t know how to just die and stay dead. Interesting....
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Surfer Zebra
"Surfer pony"
'Mermare'
~~~~~

>BACK YA' SEA SWOLLOWIN' CRECHAS! Come audder step and I'm gonna ring you like me mudder did ta' the good cloths after a mudslide!

"Dude, these things are seriously bothering me.It's like, whoa. You know? It's like the gnarliest wave, all flipped and crazy, but then you step back and it just gets more nuts."

'I think we're cute, can we keep one?'

>Sorry love of me life! You know da' pets take ta' da water like sand, meltin' away before ya' even know what hit ya'!

'Awww... By the way, my salt water has turned into sugar water. That is a thing.'

"Oh no! You okay, babe?"

'Totally fine, buddy! Just feels weird... might bring it into the bedroom next.'

>HAH! Oh, das why she'll always have me heart, no matter what de storm she's a bright and sunny day!

'Ohh, I love you too, honeybunches!'

"...So are we getting a refund for this?"

'What for? This is more fun than I've ever had!'

>BACK YE' CREATURES!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Chitania
"Cadence"
'SA'
[Mane-Iac]
{2}
~Poindexter~
-???-
=???=
(???)
^???^
`???`
~~~~

"Is iiiiittt... a picture?"

>NO.

"Is iiiiiitt... a music box?"

>NO.

"...A love letter?"

>NO!

"...Oh! Wait a minute, was it that popcorn maker thin-"

Loud, deep growling noises suddenly started.

"It is!... Wait, why do you care about that so much?"

>NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

"I mean, I'm not knocking it, it was nice! Lots of cool attachments, it was neat."

'Attachments?'

"Oh yeah, she upgraded the heck out of that thing! It was cool!"

~Huh... do you work with them? Is that your job? I notice your cutie mark is... uh.. kind of blurry? Do cutie marks do that?~

Growling intensifies.

'We'll, uh... we'll try to find your popcorn maker?'

{YEAH! We'll be all detectivey! Cause sometimes, some crimes, go slippin' through the cracks!-}

-NOOOOOOOO!-

As one, they froze.

-I JUST GOT THAT OUT OF MY HEAD!-

"Oh thank goodness! 18! 42! You guys are okay!"

The changeling pair flew next to them, softly landing together.

=Hrmph, you doubted us? As if these things could stop someone like me.=

'Where...'

=Her majesty is with Celestia. Both are safe, and are working on a plan together.=

~Well, that can only end well.~

'Well, so long as everyone is safe-'

And that's when the wall exploded, and dust was kicked up everywhere.

(Where did that robot thing go!?)

^Dunno! He was just ZOOOOOM! And then he was gone!^

(Well, we have to find it, who knows what kind of...)

Gradually, the dust fell away, and everyone's jaws dropped. Some went into a fighting stance, others...

"AIEEEEEEEEE!"

Others just grabbed the nearest body the could get a hold of.

"IT'S CHITANIA!'

A body who was, to put it mildly, not appreciative.

>My ears...

For indeed, standing in the smoke was 'a' Chitania.

(You...)

Shining Armor tensed up, his horn igniting.

'You ready for round two-'

(IT'S HER!)

Everyone stopped as she pointed, gradually turning around and following her direction.

[AHAHAHAH!... Why is she pointing at meeeee?]

(IT'S THE MANE-IAC!)

[Oh... Hi!]

^OH NO! WE GOTTA STOP HER! WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE COULD DO!^

(That's right, that robot will have to wait! I think we've found the real source of trouble here!)

The pink one suddenly gasped.

^OH NO! LOOK WHO SHE'S GOT WITH HER!^

(That... FIEND! She's controlling Luminous Shield and Queen Overture!)

`So what're we waiting for!? Let's get crushing! We'll knock the sense back into them!`

(Couldn't agree more!)

'...Oh sweet Celestia no...'

"Shiny? Since when did Chitania come in fruity flavoring?"

~Thaaaat's... not the Chitania you're thinking of.~

>...I want to hurl... I seriously, truly want to hurl. There is no atrocity ever committed that could ever justify this... this is wrooooong.

(Crushers, let's save them all..)

~You, uh, think she'd sign my copy of Chitania's Crushers issue 1?~

'...'

~Just asking, value would go through the roof.~

[...So should I do something, or-ACK!]

(GET READY TO BRAWL!)

As one, the charged.

And the battle for... uh... 'justice' was on!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >SB
“AB”
‘SL’
[???]
{???]
~~~~

>Scoots! Around that corner, two tigers!

‘On it!’

>We got four tangos trying to scurry under that door, Applebloom! You know what to do!

“Aye-aye, cap’n!”

Left and right they dove, two fillies on a mission to hug whatever fluffy toy they happened across.

Marching through the wreckage, Sweetie nodded firmly, her eyes narrowing at every scattering shadow and every muffled squeak.

They knew. The blatant fear was undeniable. The toys knew their weakness had been found and were on the run.

Perfect.

“Haaa… haaaa… and back, sir! Ah got about five of ‘em, found a whole buschel jus’ holed up.”

>Excellent. And you, Scoots?

‘Brought back their voiceboxes as medals, sir!’

>Wear them proudly. Now come on, girls, I thought I heard a noise behind thisssss… door!

With a tri-filly headbutt, the door was knocked open and they stared at the rather large cauldron holding two ponies and two concussed Changelings.

>“‘…’”

[…Not my most proudest moment. I can admit that without hesitance.]

‘BAHAHAHAHAHA!’

{Lieutenant? Are these cutesy foals our rescue…?}

[I’m really wishing they weren’t but… yes.]

“Wow. An’ Ah thought the most humiliatin’ thing Ah’d see today was one guard gettin’ beat wit’ his own armor. Nope, this right here takes that piece o’ cake.”

>Equestria’s finest, eh?

[You going to free us so we can take control of this mess or just gab?]

{Eeeeee, the orange one reminds me of a wittle chicken!}

‘…’

“SNRK!”

‘I vote we leave ‘em.’

>Yeah, we’ll free you, but this is our show now, got me? I figured out what knocks these toys out of commission so you two follow us.

[Pft, the day I take orders from a filly not even capable of using magic properly is the day I-]

A stray bolt of silver magic burst from Sweetie’s horn without any conscious effort on her part, blasting a hole straight through both the cauldron and Lucky Strike’s legs.

[…]

{Gee, Lieutenant, good thing you didn’t finish saying what you were about to say. That would’ve been awkward, huh?}

“Belle! Wuh… how did’ja do that?”

>Beats me. There’s something weird in the air, I know that much… something kinda disorderly, it’s making me feel funny to be honest. Anyway, get those two untied and let’s go, go, go! We’re on a time limit, ponies! We have to have this place cleaned up and sparkling before the others get back!

‘How in the blue hay are we going to accomplish that? What, turn into the Cutie Mark Crusaders: General Contractors?’

>No, I already called someone about it. They’ve got it covered.

[…First my dress gets ruined, and now this.]

{Buck buck buckaw!~}

‘If the toys grab this one, I’m not saving her. Just a heads up.’
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
{55}
~??~
~~~~

>So, how would one go about conversing with aliens?

"...what?"

>I'm just saying, if I wanted to talk to the aliens that tried to abduct mine mind so great, how would I go about this?

[You're... asking us?]

>Well, you actually. Drugs are what allowed me to see them. You seemed knowledgeable on the subject.

[...]

>...I mean that in a good way.

'I respectfully agree that your abilities with altered substances is good, and you should feel proud of them.'

[Thanks?]

"Seriously, start rhyming again, you are so creepy right now."

[I can't, every time I try, my mouth just goes silent!]

>DRY! You could have just said dry!

[SEE WHAT I MEAN!?]

"...So are we going to help the guy, orrrr...."

{AH HA! GOOD WORK, CITIZEN! KEEP HIM DISTRACTED WHILE I GO AROUND THE BACK AND REALLY GIVE HIM WHAT FOR!}

~THAT-*WHAM*-IS-*WHAM*-MY-*WHAM!*-LIIIINE-*WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM!*~

{You can have it back, in that case!}

~THANK-*WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM!~

{BUUURN!}

>...He's got it covered, looks like.

*BOOOOOOOOOM!*

>...
"..."
'...'
[..]

{Okay, so, good news, everyone! That shard of rock has crushed the monster!... Bad news, a giant shard of rock has crushed the monster, and whatever threw it is probably headed right this..}

*BOOMBOOMBOOM!*

{...DEFINITELY headed right this way and oh no-}

*BOOOM!*

~WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME!?~

>...This vacation sucks.

[Tell me about it.]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 This was probably a bad idea

>Ahhh!!! Owowowowowow! It's raining hot chocolate? Why the fuuuu....

A steel claw rose from the ground.

>Serisously. All this insanity and those things still work.

*Deep breath

>Son of a gem-dining monster fighter! Why the farce does all this freaky stuff happen to me? Falsify my life! Always surrounded by mean fiendish customers! It's like this whole world just likes to bend me over and follow me in the area! Like I'm some sort of shark receptacle! Well as far as I care, these mucked corks can have a fancy barbecue, WITH A GODDAMN PIG!"

>Oops. Forgot the swap out that last one.

At the end of this, the claw caught away poor unfortunate Applejack number 13. At least, she reasoned to herself, I'll be getting out of this madhouse. It was at this time that, through sheer coincidence, that a sign happend to be knocked over be a rampaging baloon elephant. This sign spun around is such a way as to pass through a passing cotton cand cloud and recieve a generous coating before being impacted by the claw propelled changling. The combined momentum prevented 13 from sailing into the sky, instead sticking to the sign as it dangled over the edge like a strip of fly paper.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Velvet
"NL"
[???]
{???}
~???~
~~~~~

>So, as it turns out, my mace is now made of a giant jawbreaker.

"..."

>...and it works better.

"Weird, right? Same with my taffy whip. I mean, it's taffy, that stuff doesn't stretch worth a damn, but somehow it's great."

*CRASH!*

[Please refrain from using anymore of those words. We realize things are hectic, but we still have to uphold the spirit of my daughters park.]

{Indeed.}

>Oh hiiii! Igneous, Cloudy, How are you guys doing?

{We are doing well, thank you. And yourselves?}

"Oh, you know, just another day."

[It is unusual for us. We are not used to this level of battling.]

{But we are ones who smash rocks for a living, it is not an issue.}

>Oh, I know. So weird, eh? So, how are the kids?

[They are well.]

{Is your grand daughter doing well?}

"Oh, she's having a blast, or at least she was. Got to go up and sing and everything!"

[We saw. It was very cute.]

{Your granddaughter is very adorable.}

"Oh I knoooow! Just wait till you get them, it's great!"

[We are in no rush for that.]

{We feel old enough.}

"Heh, know that feeling..."

>...So did you want to go get something to eat?

[If it is open, that sounds lovely.]

>Great! I know just the best little place!

"...The monsters are staring at us."

{Rude.}

[Very.]

>Meh, it's probably nothing. Come on!

~...Dude.~

~Parents, dude, don't even ask.~
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >???
~~~~~

Building building building, gotta get bigger.

Need some parts from this.

And a little from that.

This, that, bolt here, nut there, building building building.

Oh so much building.

And it's going to be great.

>Hey, can you get me down? I'm kind of... I'm stuck, you see, and there are things.

Gotta build gotta build.

>No, yeah, go ahead and ignore me, you dick.

Building building building.

>Not like anyone else pays attention to me- OH NO! A BIRD!... AND HE'S CARRYING HIGH EXPLOSIVES!

Probably should pause the building.

But that explosion isn't too important.

Building building building...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________